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Some people need to learn to mind their own business instead of putting their noses into other people’s affairs all the time. That’s what Jaclene Paolucci, aka Twitter user Diamond_Jax, suggested in a thoroughly witty thread where she shared how she shut down someone giving unsolicited pregnancy advice with a sassy comeback.

Other women pitched in with their own examples of great comebacks that were bound to make anyone listening in say to themselves, ‘That had to hurt!’ Have a read through some of the funniest quips below, upvote the ones that made you chuckle, and if you’ve ever been in a similar situation, tell us all about your sassiness in the comment section.

"I've discovered that if you want unsolicited advice, then you should get pregnant," Jaclene told the BBC. "It feels like the moment you do get pregnant, then you lose your body's autonomy. People start touching you and everybody has an opinion on how you should act, what you should wear—everything. The only people who should be able to do that should be you and your doctor."

There's hardly anyone better to talk to about witty comebacks than British comedy writer Ariane Sherine. I had a chat with her about how to react to unsolicited pregnancy comebacks and why people believe that they can hand out advice left, right, and center the moment they spot someone who is pregnant. Scroll down for Bored Panda's interview with the comedy genius.

More info: Twitter | Blog

#2

Receiving-Unsolicited-Pregnancy-Advice-Women-Comebacks

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denzoren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never understood the stigma with breastfeeding. It's a baby...she's feeding her baby. Most women do it so discretely you don't even know unless you're blatantly staring.

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Comedy writer Ariane, who has a daughter herself, told me that she completely agrees that it feels like a woman's body autonomy flies out the window the moment she gets pregnant. "It’s almost as though when a woman’s pregnant, she becomes everyone else’s property. Maybe all these pregnancy experts have emerged because everyone’s known a pregnant woman, however tenuously?" the told Bored Panda.

"Added to which, most of the advice is rubbish. I was told ‘you’ll have to eat for two now,’ took it too literally and put on five stone (the baby doesn’t actually need any extra calories until the third trimester!)," the comedy expert pointed out that rubbish advice can have serious effects on your body if you follow them blindly. Remember, Pandas, always, always, always double and triple-check facts. Especially from random strangers and the internet.

#4

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Viviane
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good plan - you want trustworthy folks when you give birth on the trapeze.

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A.J Milne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here in Namibia, if you do that, you've 25% chance of getting stabbed. No joke

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Lora Mad
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe they're just complimenting your looks? Some people do that.

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According to Ariane, humor is a wonderful tool when it comes to defusing tension and anger. "Humor’s always great as it can defuse the situation, plus it has the advantage that you’re less likely to get angry. It’s hard enough being pregnant without feeling defensive and upset too," she said.

However, I was also interested to hear Ariane's take on what someone who's pregnant should do if it's not just random strangers but loved ones who keep giving unsolicited advice. It's far more difficult to create boundaries with family, friends, and coworkers than it is with people on the street.

"Witty comebacks are fab if you can think of one, but if not, a simple and heartfelt statement like, ‘Look, I know you mean well and want the best for me, and I appreciate that, but my doctor has a different opinion to you and I’m following their advice’ should work," the comedy expert told Bored Panda that simple honesty is best in such cases.

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Hans
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Instead of "current news item" you could also have used "the distrust in the ability of caring fathers".

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A simple fact of life is that there will always be plenty of people who think they know what’s better for you than, well, you. Or a medical professional that these moms were bound to have spoken to about their own dietary needs. These random people might even have good intentions, but without knowing more context about the mom they’re speaking to, they can come across as pushy and even arrogant.

Each woman’s body is unique and different, so you should speak to your doctor about what foods and drinks you should avoid while carrying your baby. However, there are some general guidelines on what to avoid.

For instance, the NHS points out that you can still have caffeine but you should limit yourself to no more than 200 mg per day. For reference, there’s about 100 mg of caffeine in a cup of instant coffee and 40 mg in a can of soda.

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Vicky Z
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True story: I go to work everyday with a very large bottle were i have a big portion of coffee! I had a nosy colleague that thought it was her business to tell me i drink too much coffee (please for your own safety don't say these things to people that didn't have their coffee yet first thing in the morning). I told her it was just vodka so i can handle the idiots and she shut up!

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Another question that gets debated a lot is whether or not (and how much) pregnant women can drink alcohol while pregnant. The NHS unequivocally suggests that “the safest approach is to not drink alcohol at all,” meanwhile, the CDC says that “there is no known safe amount of alcohol use during pregnancy.”

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However, Harvard Health Publishing notes that small amounts of alcohol during the first trimester may not cause any issues down the line. Still, the health of you and your baby is a very serious, complicated question, so it’s always best to have a chat with your doctor and ask for their take on what you should do.

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Joe Reaves
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or when you are their doctor and it is relevant to the medical procedure you are about to perform/drugs you are prescribing. Which coincidentally is also the only time it's any of your damn business.

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Daria B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Oh, don't you know? Amazon delivers babies now, too. Brought to your home carefully by a drone" ♡

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Ross Warren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was picking up some formula from the store on my way home from work when the woman who was behind me in line made a comment about how much better breast milk is when I turned to her and said, "Thanks lady, but in case you didn't notice; I don't exactly have the right glands for the job".

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Amelia Bedelia
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was 13, my 3 year old sister decided it was funny to call me Mama out in public. The looks I got were great.

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Francesca Annoni
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once a scolded an unknown Old lady..she grabbed an hand of my 6 m.o old baby.. and was trying to kiss the hand "but I'm not kissing him on the cheek!and I'm not sick.." "you know what Is the first thing a baby put in his mouth? His hand.."

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Marno Cameron
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's like the old joke where woman 1 says, "I got this 24pk of beer for my husband." and woman 2 smiles and says, "Good trade!"

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Katy McMouse
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Natural"? Really? Until they figure out how to make eggs and sperm in a laboratory, all babies are natural.

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Lisa Shelton
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's fine for a woman to have alcohol in moderation when pregnant. The reason doctors say not to have any is because there are those who don't know what moderation is and drink to excess with the excuse that the doctor said it was okay.

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M Whee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nice. More unsolicited advice from someone not in the medical profession...kinda missed the point here.

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Kari Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, but no alcohol during pregnancy. It’s not a stranger‘s place to intervene, but those close to her should speak up. It’s the child who suffers in the end.

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I might get downvoted for this, but, as long as it's not a habit, one small odd glass every once in a while shouldn't be too harmful. It's wine, it's not some strong alcohol. It could even be healthier than some snacks that are socially accepted.

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I_am_clearly_a_pidgeon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NO alcohol during pregnancy. It is NOT that hard to refrain from a substance that you do not NEED to survive. I drink regularly and I love my glass of wine at the weekends, however, I would absolutely cut ANY alcohol off during pregnancy. I know that even doctors dispute heavily whether small amounts of alcohol in the last trimester of pregnancy are okay, but I would not risk it. The damage that can be done is severe and unrevocable.

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Tassenküchlein168
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is exactly what I think! If one can’t manage to live 9 month (plus breastfeeding time) without alcohol, they should ask themselves if they need to be a mother. I can tell you that no alcohol during pregnancy is the smallest sacrifice you have to make for your child. If you can't do even that - just don’t have children.

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NK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom smoked while pregnant with me (70's) because she wanted a small baby. I weighed nearly 9 lbs. She said thank god I smoked!!!

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Martha Meyer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a friend who drank wine during pregnancy and I definitely don't approve. I didn't say anything, it's her problem if she screwed up her kid with that.

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June
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Foetal alcohol syndrome : "The risk is higher the more you drink, although there's no proven "safe" level of alcohol in pregnancy. Not drinking at all is the safest approach."

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Lene Maar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF is wrong with you people?! My dad is a gyn AND YOU SHOULD NEVER EVER HAD ANY ALCOHOL DURING PREGANCY! Even the littlest amount can harm the fetus, cause FAS syndrome which is a forever condition, causing both physical and mental damage, read some legit research ffs. You do not have to get drunk, alcohol in the smallest amounts can cause harm to a fetus at any stadium, and ALSO when you're breastfeeding. One fckin glass of wine and you risk your child health or life.

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Lene Maar
Community Member
2 years ago

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if it comes to me, drink or pregnancy, if you cannot stop yourself from it and do not care about your future kid, the answer is abortion.

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Marina Campbell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It isn't fine to have ANY alcohol while pregnant. Most recent research shows damage can be done with minimal amounts at any point in pregnancy. That is brain damage. That translates to your baby living a life with learning difficulties, possible deformities, social difficulties, developmental delays. Their difficulties become more obvious and more difficult as they mature. Any doctor who says it's ok needs educated and any pregnant woman who thinks it's ok is playing roulette with their babies future. This is the angriest I have felt in a long time. Appalling ignorance. And yes, I am bringing up a FASD family.

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Lisa Belue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was in an automobile accident when I was 8 months pregnant. Since I was not injured, but obviously shaken, my ob/gyn recommended a bubble bath and a glass of wine.

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Mark Serbian, PK&RG,W
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Back in 1950, my mother's doctor prescribed a beer a day because, back then, beer had nutritional value. No FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) here. Managed a 148 IQ - and she was SMOKING all through pregnancy! Yeah-yeah - things are different now, but not all THAT much.

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Stille20
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a lot of misinformation about what pregnant women should and shouldn't have. There is also not enough science behind it, but why risk it? Also why make a public statement that you are willing to risk you child's health?

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Zuzanna2002 Czarnota
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No amount of alcohol is "safe" for the baby when pregnant. Sure, the chances of smt happening are much smaller then with bigger amounts, but its not safe

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April Pickett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a pregnant woman, or any woman, wishes to have an alcoholic drink it's none of your business. Go find someone else's business to butt into.

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Paradise
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had 2 small glasses in my 2nd pregnancy, once on TGiving and once on XMas, drank slowly and with lots of water. I don't give a flying phu€k if you disagree.

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Colin L
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the first time I've heard of this.... and we all have an Eric. Thank you.

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Rukkia
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate that. I have stomach issues, and sometimes my belly is flat, and other times I look about 8 months pregnant. I wear stretchy pants due to this, and it can be a matter of two minutes after I eat something before I expand to full size.

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Marno Cameron
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband: "I also have a twin brother." Let the stranger sit on that wrinkle to their rudeness.

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