Some people need to learn to mind their own business instead of putting their noses into other people’s affairs all the time. That’s what Jaclene Paolucci, aka Twitter user Diamond_Jax, suggested in a thoroughly witty thread where she shared how she shut down someone giving unsolicited pregnancy advice with a sassy comeback.
Other women pitched in with their own examples of great comebacks that were bound to make anyone listening in say to themselves, ‘That had to hurt!’ Have a read through some of the funniest quips below, upvote the ones that made you chuckle, and if you’ve ever been in a similar situation, tell us all about your sassiness in the comment section.
"I've discovered that if you want unsolicited advice, then you should get pregnant," Jaclene told the BBC. "It feels like the moment you do get pregnant, then you lose your body's autonomy. People start touching you and everybody has an opinion on how you should act, what you should wear—everything. The only people who should be able to do that should be you and your doctor."
There's hardly anyone better to talk to about witty comebacks than British comedy writer Ariane Sherine. I had a chat with her about how to react to unsolicited pregnancy comebacks and why people believe that they can hand out advice left, right, and center the moment they spot someone who is pregnant. Scroll down for Bored Panda's interview with the comedy genius.
This post may include affiliate links.
Comedy writer Ariane, who has a daughter herself, told me that she completely agrees that it feels like a woman's body autonomy flies out the window the moment she gets pregnant. "It’s almost as though when a woman’s pregnant, she becomes everyone else’s property. Maybe all these pregnancy experts have emerged because everyone’s known a pregnant woman, however tenuously?" the told Bored Panda.
"Added to which, most of the advice is rubbish. I was told ‘you’ll have to eat for two now,’ took it too literally and put on five stone (the baby doesn’t actually need any extra calories until the third trimester!)," the comedy expert pointed out that rubbish advice can have serious effects on your body if you follow them blindly. Remember, Pandas, always, always, always double and triple-check facts. Especially from random strangers and the internet.
According to Ariane, humor is a wonderful tool when it comes to defusing tension and anger. "Humor’s always great as it can defuse the situation, plus it has the advantage that you’re less likely to get angry. It’s hard enough being pregnant without feeling defensive and upset too," she said.
However, I was also interested to hear Ariane's take on what someone who's pregnant should do if it's not just random strangers but loved ones who keep giving unsolicited advice. It's far more difficult to create boundaries with family, friends, and coworkers than it is with people on the street.
"Witty comebacks are fab if you can think of one, but if not, a simple and heartfelt statement like, ‘Look, I know you mean well and want the best for me, and I appreciate that, but my doctor has a different opinion to you and I’m following their advice’ should work," the comedy expert told Bored Panda that simple honesty is best in such cases.
A simple fact of life is that there will always be plenty of people who think they know what’s better for you than, well, you. Or a medical professional that these moms were bound to have spoken to about their own dietary needs. These random people might even have good intentions, but without knowing more context about the mom they’re speaking to, they can come across as pushy and even arrogant.
Each woman’s body is unique and different, so you should speak to your doctor about what foods and drinks you should avoid while carrying your baby. However, there are some general guidelines on what to avoid.
For instance, the NHS points out that you can still have caffeine but you should limit yourself to no more than 200 mg per day. For reference, there’s about 100 mg of caffeine in a cup of instant coffee and 40 mg in a can of soda.
When I was pregnant, Tylenol and caffeine were my go to for migraine
I would have made her buy me a new one. No idea what she might have
True story: I go to work everyday with a very large bottle were i have a big portion of coffee! I had a nosy colleague that thought it was her business to tell me i drink too much coffee (please for your own safety don't say these things to people that didn't have their coffee yet first thing in the morning). I told her it was just vodka so i can handle the idiots and she shut up!
Another question that gets debated a lot is whether or not (and how much) pregnant women can drink alcohol while pregnant. The NHS unequivocally suggests that “the safest approach is to not drink alcohol at all,” meanwhile, the CDC says that “there is no known safe amount of alcohol use during pregnancy.”
However, Harvard Health Publishing notes that small amounts of alcohol during the first trimester may not cause any issues down the line. Still, the health of you and your baby is a very serious, complicated question, so it’s always best to have a chat with your doctor and ask for their take on what you should do.
Or when you are their doctor and it is relevant to the medical procedure you are about to perform/drugs you are prescribing. Which coincidentally is also the only time it's any of your damn business.
I was picking up some formula from the store on my way home from work when the woman who was behind me in line made a comment about how much better breast milk is when I turned to her and said, "Thanks lady, but in case you didn't notice; I don't exactly have the right glands for the job".
If you want to get technical, you do, they’re just not developed and you don’t have the right hormones (assuming you’re a cis guy)
Load More Replies...
When my youngest son was still nursing, his mom had to go out of town for a few days. She'd expressed breastmilk and froze it. I was at the grocery store when my son needed to be fed. I whipped out a bottle and fed him. Some La Leche League busybody came up and started giving me crap about why isn't your baby's mother nursing him? I explained that she'd been killed in a car crash two days ago... Worked really well!
This bothers me about people saying you should breastfeed. I wasnt able to breastfeed because 1. my baby was born at 25 weeks and in the nicu with a cleft palate. 2. I pumped but didnt produce enough milk to keep up, even with taking medicine to try to help make more. I just hate when people give their opinions
No need to explain either! It was your body your choice anyway and people should shut up already
Load More Replies...
My mother wasn't producing enough milk, with that logic i was better off starving
I knew someone who developed an infection as a cause of the pregnancy and they couldn't breastfeed cuz of the antibiotics
I had that happen to me when my niece was a baby. I asked the woman how do I start producing milk randomly? She just stood there dumbfounded. As I walked by, I told her the baby isn't mine, she's my niece, and I have temporary custody of her.
Really ? Every time you bought formula ? People have to stop being butthurt so easily . Everyone has different ideas and opinions . If you get unsolicited advice , you can still be polite. Just because somebody doesn't have manners doesn't make it ok to act in the same way
When I was 13, my 3 year old sister decided it was funny to call me Mama out in public. The looks I got were great.
Once a scolded an unknown Old lady..she grabbed an hand of my 6 m.o old baby.. and was trying to kiss the hand "but I'm not kissing him on the cheek!and I'm not sick.." "you know what Is the first thing a baby put in his mouth? His hand.."
It's like the old joke where woman 1 says, "I got this 24pk of beer for my husband." and woman 2 smiles and says, "Good trade!"
"Natural"? Really? Until they figure out how to make eggs and sperm in a laboratory, all babies are natural.
It's fine for a woman to have alcohol in moderation when pregnant. The reason doctors say not to have any is because there are those who don't know what moderation is and drink to excess with the excuse that the doctor said it was okay.
Husband: "I also have a twin brother." Let the stranger sit on that wrinkle to their rudeness.
Note: this post originally had 35 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
When I was pregnant I was 30 men and only men made comments. Most were sexual in nature and a few were bc they thought I was a teenager. One was an employee at blockbuster said my parents must be disappointed being an unwed teenager then he saw my wedding ring and said oh it was a shotgun wedding in front of a store full of people. I made him read my birthdate on my license out loud 3xs. Asked if he could do the math bc obviously he was an idiot.
I was 6 months pregnant with my first child and when someone asked how far along I was, she said Wow you're too big for only 6 months. 🙄 I'm still annoyed by that comment.
I'm hearing this all the gdmn time.. oh, you sure it's just one? Or when I tell them my due date, they look at my belly again and say.. ohh..! Yes, i have a big belly for 5 months, no nothing is wrong. Still, reading all the above, most is much worse. Glad no stranger touched my belly or said something awful.
Load More Replies...
Let's just all of us stop acting like police against women in the most sensitive and difficult time of their lives! Pregnancy is NOT a woman's best period! It's a very very very difficult time and we don't need to make it more difficult! If you don't have anything helpful to say then don't say anything and mind your own business! And anyone who is worried what the mother- to -be drinks, eats, or does, maybe should go into science and help make more researches which believe it or not, aren't that many for feminine issues! Stop doing anything for the sake of the baby is not an advice! It's another form of oppression for a woman!
Only tangentially relevant, I once thought a lady was pregnant. We were in a full public bus, I was sitting and she was standing beside me. I didn't comment anything just offered her my seat and she almost bit my head off. Turns out she was not pregnant, only had a big belly (or bloated? idk). Fortunately she was also carrying a bag that looked heavy so I just looked at the bag and said that it looks heavy and would she like to have a seat or put the bag in my lap. She forgave me then.
So this isn't a preggo story, but I think it fits here. It involves my sister & her (then) young son (A). A was born severely disabled, both mentally & physically. One of the physical assistances he required when he was small, was a set of plastic braces, kind of like splints, for his legs. So one day, sis and I are meandering through a local thrift shop, & Sis has A, who is about 3 or so at the time, lying in the big part of the cart, on a blanket. After a while, we're looking at shoes or something, & Sis notices a woman in the same aisle, just STARING at her handicapped son, lying there in the cart. So Sis, who has never been shy about speaking her mind anyway, & who is an amazing advocate for her little boy, turns to the woman, & says, in a perfect imitation of Forrest Gump's mom-accent & all-"What's tha mattah? Haven't you evah seen a little boyh with braces on'is legs?" The woman turned red and quickly realized that she needed something in ANOTHER aisle, far away from us! 😂😂😂😂
So mine is strange, here people are not used to carry baby in stroller, they carry them in their back, it's what is seen normal, so whenever they see me with my small one in the stroller they would be saying I don't care for my baby🙄🙄, sometimes I tell them to come and carry him for me. 🤭
My daughters all have lighter skin than me & my hubby.. people - mostly woman, often asked me what i ate during pregnancy to hava a light skin baby - in south east asia this kind of thing is normal. I often answer with; i just picked the lightest colour baby from the hospital to bring home.... 🤫
My polish aunts have such wise comments too. "Don't rub your nose or your Baby will do that for the rest of their life too"
Load More Replies...
How is it rude to ask how far along you are? For many people, it's an icebreaker. They aren't the ones being rude here, you are. If it makes you uncomfortable to talk about your pregnancy, even in that mundane instant, you probably won't make that great of a mother. And if you aren't pregnant, and it's a health issue, just say it's personal and move on. Most people aren't intentionally trying to hit you in the feels, or offend you in some way, they're just making small talk.
i’m a twin and people would ask my mom all the time “are they both yours” and she used to tell them it was buy 1 get 1 free at the hospital!
Now if only we could get people to mind their own business about who you voted for or what your personal beliefs are... If I don't volunteer that information, it's none of your F'in business
I love these responses!! Sounds like some of the same things I would say! Don't give advice if you're not asked for it!
Whose business is it when someone is pregnant or whose children are *unusual* in some way? All those people who commented about someone else's pregnancy are probably well meaning, but give them a little time and they will turn into entitled Karens.
What about sometimes to listen to unsolicited advices? Some people just might be genuinely concerned and wanting to help.
Luckily the only person I met who stroked my belly uninvited was my mother in law, and I had to restrain myself very hard from slapping her.
Ahh, all the replies I would think of way after the interaction. lol *cries*
What kind of people touch pregnant woman's belly or touch their kids without permission? That's creepy.
I love this stuff. Don’t have kids of my own, but my niece and nephew are always up for messing with people. Best times are my bro and I having my nephew out and about. All 3 of us look sooooo much alike, people can’t decide who the kid belongs to. Lots of fun if we say both of us. Alternatively, my sister in law and I used to mess with people when my nephew was a baby.
When I was pregnant I was 30 men and only men made comments. Most were sexual in nature and a few were bc they thought I was a teenager. One was an employee at blockbuster said my parents must be disappointed being an unwed teenager then he saw my wedding ring and said oh it was a shotgun wedding in front of a store full of people. I made him read my birthdate on my license out loud 3xs. Asked if he could do the math bc obviously he was an idiot.
I was 6 months pregnant with my first child and when someone asked how far along I was, she said Wow you're too big for only 6 months. 🙄 I'm still annoyed by that comment.
I'm hearing this all the gdmn time.. oh, you sure it's just one? Or when I tell them my due date, they look at my belly again and say.. ohh..! Yes, i have a big belly for 5 months, no nothing is wrong. Still, reading all the above, most is much worse. Glad no stranger touched my belly or said something awful.
Load More Replies... Let's just all of us stop acting like police against women in the most sensitive and difficult time of their lives! Pregnancy is NOT a woman's best period! It's a very very very difficult time and we don't need to make it more difficult! If you don't have anything helpful to say then don't say anything and mind your own business! And anyone who is worried what the mother- to -be drinks, eats, or does, maybe should go into science and help make more researches which believe it or not, aren't that many for feminine issues! Stop doing anything for the sake of the baby is not an advice! It's another form of oppression for a woman!
Only tangentially relevant, I once thought a lady was pregnant. We were in a full public bus, I was sitting and she was standing beside me. I didn't comment anything just offered her my seat and she almost bit my head off. Turns out she was not pregnant, only had a big belly (or bloated? idk). Fortunately she was also carrying a bag that looked heavy so I just looked at the bag and said that it looks heavy and would she like to have a seat or put the bag in my lap. She forgave me then.
So this isn't a preggo story, but I think it fits here. It involves my sister & her (then) young son (A). A was born severely disabled, both mentally & physically. One of the physical assistances he required when he was small, was a set of plastic braces, kind of like splints, for his legs. So one day, sis and I are meandering through a local thrift shop, & Sis has A, who is about 3 or so at the time, lying in the big part of the cart, on a blanket. After a while, we're looking at shoes or something, & Sis notices a woman in the same aisle, just STARING at her handicapped son, lying there in the cart. So Sis, who has never been shy about speaking her mind anyway, & who is an amazing advocate for her little boy, turns to the woman, & says, in a perfect imitation of Forrest Gump's mom-accent & all-"What's tha mattah? Haven't you evah seen a little boyh with braces on'is legs?" The woman turned red and quickly realized that she needed something in ANOTHER aisle, far away from us! 😂😂😂😂
So mine is strange, here people are not used to carry baby in stroller, they carry them in their back, it's what is seen normal, so whenever they see me with my small one in the stroller they would be saying I don't care for my baby🙄🙄, sometimes I tell them to come and carry him for me. 🤭
My daughters all have lighter skin than me & my hubby.. people - mostly woman, often asked me what i ate during pregnancy to hava a light skin baby - in south east asia this kind of thing is normal. I often answer with; i just picked the lightest colour baby from the hospital to bring home.... 🤫
My polish aunts have such wise comments too. "Don't rub your nose or your Baby will do that for the rest of their life too"
Load More Replies... How is it rude to ask how far along you are? For many people, it's an icebreaker. They aren't the ones being rude here, you are. If it makes you uncomfortable to talk about your pregnancy, even in that mundane instant, you probably won't make that great of a mother. And if you aren't pregnant, and it's a health issue, just say it's personal and move on. Most people aren't intentionally trying to hit you in the feels, or offend you in some way, they're just making small talk.
i’m a twin and people would ask my mom all the time “are they both yours” and she used to tell them it was buy 1 get 1 free at the hospital!
Now if only we could get people to mind their own business about who you voted for or what your personal beliefs are... If I don't volunteer that information, it's none of your F'in business
I love these responses!! Sounds like some of the same things I would say! Don't give advice if you're not asked for it!
Whose business is it when someone is pregnant or whose children are *unusual* in some way? All those people who commented about someone else's pregnancy are probably well meaning, but give them a little time and they will turn into entitled Karens.
What about sometimes to listen to unsolicited advices? Some people just might be genuinely concerned and wanting to help.
Luckily the only person I met who stroked my belly uninvited was my mother in law, and I had to restrain myself very hard from slapping her.
Ahh, all the replies I would think of way after the interaction. lol *cries*
What kind of people touch pregnant woman's belly or touch their kids without permission? That's creepy.
I love this stuff. Don’t have kids of my own, but my niece and nephew are always up for messing with people. Best times are my bro and I having my nephew out and about. All 3 of us look sooooo much alike, people can’t decide who the kid belongs to. Lots of fun if we say both of us. Alternatively, my sister in law and I used to mess with people when my nephew was a baby.
