Judging others—it’s something that we all do, all the time. Whether we’re aware of it or entirely subconsciously, we’re constantly evaluating and interpreting the world around us. Making comments about people and situations in our heads. Checking how the world conforms to how we imagine it should be like. And frowning upon anyone who litters!
After being prompted to open up by redditor u/supercoliofy, internet users began sharing the things that make them silently judge people. Taking a deep dive into their comments is enlightening: we’ve judged people for similar things; we’ve done some of the things in this list that deserve judgment.
Read on for some silent judgment-gone-loud, upvote the posts you agree with, and drop on by the comment section to share your opinions, dear Pandas. Do bamboo thieves make you angry? Do you think people give other bears more recognition? We’re very interested to hear what makes you silently judge someone.
Bored Panda reached out to Lee Chambers, a Psychologist and Wellbeing Consultant, to talk about why we judge other people, as well as what role this plays in our lives.
"Judging others is something that we as humans do, both consciously and automatically, and there are a number of reasons why we do it. Comically, we are often told as children not to judge others and have stories shared about how judging others can mean we upset them or lose opportunities to see what really lies behind our perception," he told Bored Panda. Scroll down for our interview with Lee!
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I immediately judge you if you make fun of someone who's trying. I saw someone make fun of an overweight classmate despite the fact that he was doing diets, running, and exercising. He's putting an effort and you have no right to s**t on him.
Psychologist Lee, the founder of Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing and PhenomGames, revealed to Bored Panda some of the reasons why we judge other people.
"Sometimes, we judge others to feel superior ourselves, finding faults in others, highlighting them, and feeling better about ourselves in the process. Sometimes, we use it to work out where we fit in, recognizing how we want to be, where our aspirations lie, and how we don't want to become," he said.
"Sometimes, it's in response to our own flaws, and we attack others for what we don't like or don't see into ourselves. And on other occasions, it's to fit into a wider group who judge something or someone, and we conform and perform with the same judgment."
People who have no awareness of their surroundings when they're out in public.
It doesn't cost anything to wait your turn in a queue, hold a door open for someone, turn on your indicators 10 seconds earlier than you just did, or not block off the entire pavement because you want to hold hands with your husband / wife.
It's so selfish. Drives me mad just thinking about it.
Thank you for the gold, kind stranger.
people who don't say please and thank you.
people who act like a d**k to service staff like cashiers and waiters.
people who generally show a lack of consideration to other people.
one thing my dad always told me: manners cost nothing.
According to Lee, being judgmental can be good and it "does have some benefits when used mindfully," however.
"It can help us to set goals, find alignment with our values, it can help us to build the self-awareness of others and it can boost our self-esteem," he told Bored Panda.
"Add to that it can also help us to make positive social choices, and it's understanding how and why we judge that gives us the ability to use it for our benefits instead of escaping our flaws or pulling others down."
Littering. It hurts to watch, I don't see how people can litter.
Edit: Hey Cloin
I think it is what you are taught in the home this is something that needs to be learned from birth! If I tried it outside - would you do that at home?
I judge people for not washing their hands after using the bathroom
OMG! YES! My OCD spikes out of control for things like this. End up getting panic attacks if I feel surrounded by too much of it😓
Far from everyone makes errors with malicious intent. Quite often, people aren’t even aware that they’re making a mistake. Or they might not think that something that elicits judgment (like parking wrong or being late to meet someone all the friggin’ time) is actually that big of a deal. It’s selfishness and we’ve all got that, just in varying amounts.
We know that being self-aware of our own flaws is difficult. For one, nobody likes thinking that they’re less than perfect. Besides, we don’t have the luxury of seeing our behavior from a different perspective. That’s why it’s important to speak up if you see someone constantly making the same mistakes.
When they have no knowledge of the topic but is still arguing to the person who actually has the knowledge. I mean seriously if you dont know what you're talking about then stfu
People who talk really loud on the phone in quiet public places.
If you don’t hear any criticism about what you do, then it’s only natural to assume you’re ‘perfect’ and ‘flawless.’ If there’s no feedback, how can we expect someone to learn? Overly selfish people don’t change their ways at the drop of a hat. It takes a series of moments of clarity to get them to think that maybe—just maybe—they might need to rethink some things. However, some individuals find it hard to get past the embarrassment that comes from realizing they’ve been making mistakes.
"We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa Bohns from Cornell University explained to Bored Panda.
People walking toward you that don't put equal effort into avoiding collision. I'll move a bit, but you should do the same. You expect me to walk around you?
This! One time, 3 people were walking towards me side by side, taking up the entire pavement. I would have had to walk in the busy road to avoid them. They did not move over one inch. I just stopped in the pavement and looked at them. They also stopped in front of me until it got awkward and they grew enough social awareness to apologise... 😑
I can't stand people who piss on the toilet seat and don't clean it.
How could you just leave your own urine and poop on a public toilet seat with a clear conscience? ಠ▃ಠ
"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing."
One powerful way to change for the better is to become kinder, more altruistic, more giving. And there’s an added benefit, too—you’ll become happier while making the world a better place.
Not using a turn signal when driving. It's not that hard, and it's pretty arrogant not to use one
I think I've been the only BMW driver that used their turn signals. I’ve heard tales of others doing the same. But they're probably apocryphal and now lost in time.
I can't stand people who don't pick up their dog's s**t! You're a scumbag!
or those folks who leave doggy poo bags hanging from trees and bushes like weird Christmas decorations... they just can't be bothered to put it in the doggy bin..
Being unjustifiably rude to waiters, sales associates, janitors, etc. (basically anyone who is being paid to perform a service for you)
It is extremely telling of a person's character.
Saw a old, spoiled lady getting her bad character out on a approx. 20 y.o. waiter, because he didn't get the 6 wine glasses at the same filling level on first try. From then on, she always watched him and shook her head and said things like "i would be shamed soo much if i were him". Next morning (it was in a hotel) i overheard from her family that she got a stomach bug and diarrhea and can't make it to breakfast. Well deserved
"The 10 keys to happier living are giving, relating, exercising, awareness, trying out, direction, resilience, emotions, acceptance, and meaning. We are likely to be happier if our lives have direction, meaning, and purpose and if we are part of something bigger than ourselves," Sarah Vero from ‘Action for Happiness’ told Bored Panda.
People who bring children to situations that are not appropriate for children.
Mmm.... define 'appropriate' for children. The picture suggests an office. I don't judge for this. People don't want to bring their kids to offices and the like. If they do it's usually because they don't have any other option and they are doing the best they can with what they have. Bars and genuine inappropriate places and times are a different story.
Even worse are the people who play their music through their speakers on a trail. You're outside its gorgeous there are birds and s**t. Turn off you god damn music you're ruining it for the rest of us.
Finally: "I judge people who complain about politics, but choose not to vote
Unless you can't legally vote. In my country, we have lots of people disenfranchised from voting, often for very petty reasons. If you're politically active and engaged in other ways, I figure you've earned your right to complain -- even if you can't vote.
"Think about how you can reach out and do things for others, help a neighbor or volunteer for a cause, we get happiness high from helping other people. Or start small and simply list three things that you can be grateful for each night before bed. Take it slow and be kind to yourself,” she suggested how people can learn to open up to new experiences and helping others.
Parking.
If you can't get within the lines the first time, it's ok to adjust.
Not paying attention to your screaming kid. Like not even trying.
Throwing others under the bus in the work place for their own personal gain. Especially when they do it in front of a group of people,
I work at a Starbucks in a grocery store and I have two regulars with scrawny, super scraggly kids and they spend $7-$10 on one or two drinks while they yell at their kid for wanting a 75 cent doughnut.
The kicker is that they're paying with food stamps.
So that. I judge that.
I feel sorry when mommy and daddy coming in for lots of beer and stronger stuff, but the kids got nothing.
When you tailgate me when there is a slow car in front of me. What a pointless action and people do it all the time. It accomplishes nothing except making the road even more dangerous than it already is.
People who don't take care of their dogs.
I'm not talking about people who don't feed some super premium dog food, or get them groomed every 2 weeks, or even those people who opt to euthanize because they can't afford a 12K surgery.
I'm talking about doing the bare f**king minimum. Take a brush and brush your dog. Find a food that doesn't give him explosive diarrhea every time he has to take a s**t. Give that little turd factory some discipline so he stops trying to maul toddlers when he inevitably dashes out your front door and across the street. For f**ks sake, run your labs and goldens until they're too tired to move any more. A tired dog is a happy dog.
I judge people who shut down those asking questions and trying to learn more
so religious zealots, obstinate teachers, totalitarian governments - most of society's figures of authority
I'm not always silent about it, but people at my local supermarket who refuse to return their shopping carts, but instead leave them to roll into other cars whenever the next wind gust comes along.
The last lady I confronted about this said some bulls**t that was basically blah blah blah my bad back, but she managed to push it all around the store and then fully loaded out to her car, now she suddenly can't push a now-empty cart a few more feet to the return?? Can't stand those people.
In Belgium we have to put a coin in the trolley to be able to use it. Simple solution.
People who are habitually late to things. It's one of the most inconsiderate things I can thing of and yet it seems so common
Ppl hu typ lyk dis.
Or people who don't use punctuation or at least a damn full stop to break up their god damned sentences. Drives me insane and although I'm not the greatest at punctuation and grammar, I automatically think you're and idiot.
Definitely smoking cigarettes while pregnant. I can't help not judging you for that s**t.
I have a coworker who "only feeds her children bio foods" but she's smoking while breastfeeding...
If you don't like animals....I don't know if I like you.
There's nothing I dislike more than when a husband feels like he has to act like his wife's authority while other people are around. I hate gender roles in relationships
People who have their phones out in a goddamn movie theater. We all payed the same price. I don't care if you don't want to get your money's worth, I do. I am going to yell and you and if you don't stop, throw popcorn at you till you do.
Constantly posting condescending political rants on facebook.
Also those who can't admit that they are wrong, or when they've lost. 🤨
Anyone who adopts a "whatever" policy to being late. I freak out when I'm late for something, and it absolutely blows my mind when people just don't care.
I've seen way too many people who think arriving an hour late to an important event makes them cooler
Being involved in an MLM... Scentsy, Essential Oils, It Works!, etc.
It's not that I don't appreciate the fact that they are trying to better themselves. It's that I assume they are really stupid for getting suckered in the first place.
Crass public behaviour, especially while drunk. If you can't handle your alcohol without being a s**t, don't drink. Hate it.
When partner in a couple is publicly mean to the other partner in the couple, but not in a funny context, purely to put them down kinda context. That's like scratching your own car. You lose my respect instantly. It's just sad.
People that don't let people get out of the metro before going in themselves.
People who bring their children out for a meal at a restaurant and spend their whole time on their phone. It makes me so sad to see a child sitting there, silently eating while their mom or dad ignores them completely. :(
What they name their children. It's a human being that has to walk around for 80 years with that label.
some countries like sweden have naming laws which prevent certain names which could cause offence or discomfort to the child to be approved on certificates
People who post negatively about their SO on social media. I understand getting frustrated with your SO. It shouldn't be aired publically.
People who choose to have kids before they are financially stable enough for that to be a good idea
When 2 people run into each and stop to have a "quick" conversation.....ON THE F**KING STAIRS! Move the f**k out of the way if you want to stop.
I judge people who constantly complain about their S.O. when they're not around. Why can't they just admit that they actually really like the person they are choosing to date?
Or if they don’t like them then work on the relationship or leave
If you have your bag on the seat next to you on a busy bus or train I will silently judge you. If an elderly person gets on and you still don't move them I will judge you out loud and ask you to move your bags.
Upvote for the latter part. Downvote for the former. If the subway/bus is mostly empty, who cares?
People who clearly are not watching their kids. Don't let your two year old walk around a parking lot without at least holding their hand. Don't leave your kid in a shopping cart while you look at something 10 feet away from them. We live in a dangerous world. You have to watch your kids.
Where do you live that being 10 feet/ 3m away from your kid in a supermarket is considered a dangerous distance?
Where they sit in proximity to me on public transport. Especially if the train is relatively empty. If it's empty why sit near me?
I just get up and move - if they are bright enough they may get the hint!
TL; DR: Attention hoes and vegan bros.
My fiancé is a personal trainer so I have met a lot of people through him who are personal trainers, fitness models, wanna be Instagram models, and are generally extremely fit. I don't judge them for that, but I do judge them for the following:
The attention whores. I get the that if your body is you livelihood, you're going to show that off. I have no problem with that. But when you post pictures of yourself in bed, with only your hands covering your dirty bits, and giving the camera "f**k me" face (eye sultry, mouth agape), don't be surprised if one of the thousands of people who follow you says something sexual. I see it all the time. Yesterday one girl posted a photo of her fully nude, except for hooker heels, from behind and giving the camera sex eyes with the caption "Happy Thanksgiving!! " . It had nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Some guy commented on it, "Damn [name]. Your [sic] fine as hell. PM me." Then she always says something like, "Ewww what the hell! Why are guys such pigs/ always hitting on me/ always making comments about my body!!" Well, maybe if you didn't make your Facebook and Instragram account look like a Backpages advertisement and allow anyone and everyone to follow you, you wouldn't have this issue.
The other people who annoy me are the vegan body builders. Take Chad for example. Chad is a vegan bro and personal trainer. Chad is the type of person who yells at people for eating meat around him,, and talks about how people have no respect for animals and mother earth, then talks about how he "f**ked 5 fine ass bitches in one day." Chad is the type of bro who sleeps with his clients. At the same time. Behind each other's backs. Chad is the type of bro who, when my fiancé told him he was going to propose to me, he replied, "Bro, why settle for one pussy the rest of your life, even if she is fine? There's a hundred more like her." Thanks Chad, you've known me for over a year, and I am reduced to a "fine piece of pussy" to you. So much for respecting all living things. The thing I hate the most about the vegan body builders though is how full of s**it they are. They will post pictures of their workout, muscles, etc, with the hashtag #vegangains or some bulls**t like that. They will tell their clients, "Yeah, I got this way by cutting out meat and animal byproducts." They neglect to tell them they are on a boatload of steroids! They are open about their steroid use with other trainers, even bragging about using 3-5 times the recommended dosage a day, while telling their clients they got so big and so strong through a " vegan, clean, organic, and natural diet."
Yeah about the pictures. If you flaunt yourself with open mouth, come to bed eyes then accept someone's going to find it sexy. That's just the way it is.
TALKING LOUDLY ON YOUR PHONE ON THE BUS
I HAVE A NATURALLY LOUD VOICE , I CAN'T HELP IT! Whenever I realize it though I lower my voice.
People who fail to discipline their children in public when they misbehave. I see obnoxious kids, with apathetic parents on nearly every shopping trip. It blows my mind that an adult would consistently choose to tolerate bad conduct, as if ignoring a temper tantrum would accomplish anything other than a reinforcing of bad behavior. Children need guidance and structure, delivered in a loving way, or else they develop into the spoiled adults that everyone finds intolerable. Source- single dad with a 4 year old and two year old.
People who ask for an answer, and then ignore the answer given.
Being rude to their own parents, or laugh about how 'guilty' they feel using daddy's credit card to buy a new pair of $500 shoes.
Well I try to be polite to my parents… but it’s really hard when they’re disrespectful and ignore my opinion :)
When I'm in a bathroom, and I see someone come in, do their business and walk out without even looking at the sink.
People that feel they need to take a picture/video (usually snap chat) of every mundane f**king thing that happens.
Then they make it worse by insisting you look at it while they proceed to act like its the best thing since sliced bread.
When I'm driving down the road and you see me coming but decide at the last opportunity to pull out in front of me then drive significantly slower than traffic, I am judging you as either old, inconsiderate or not maintaining your car enough so that it will GO when you step on the accelerator. Just wait, or go -but don't go slow in front of faster moving vehicles.
People who don't tip waitstaff
Customers at the checkout taking their own sweet time. I always get the damned customer in front of me that's unprepared, starts digging and fumbling for the money at the very last moment, chatting with the cashier while oblivious to the long line of people waiting behind.
This also goes for slow cashiers that go along with it.
At my local Costco, there's one checkout clerk that's super sharp, efficient and fast, I make it a point to spot where he is and get in line there, last time I told him so, that he's really, really good at his job and that I seek him out. He did smile and said "thank you".
Isn't it nice for you to have places to go and people to see. You sound like a twat. For some people they have things on their mind, they may be anxious, not paying attention or just enjoying the company of being out and about. People now have no tolerance for the human conditions and they are often entitled ass hats.
Having long conversations whilst stood blocking a busy walkway or stairwell.
Trying to walk 2 abreast and expecting me to move when walking down a narrow walkway/ staircase.
Not dressing their kids properly in the winter.
If the baby doesn't have a warm coat you shouldn't have a warm coat.
Instead of buying cheap plastic toys that are broken after an hour, get them less stuff but better quality. You don't need your cigarettes, booze and new phone but your kids need pencils and paper, building blocks, lego, sensible stuff. AND warm clothes, good shoes and lots of cuddles.
Fake behavior
When they are lovey dovey and you know they are each banging someone else!
People that take selfies every f**king where. I know this girl in my group of friends that does every time she does anything and it's the most irritating thing to go out with her.
Right? People prefer taking pictures to show where they have been rather than actually living in the moment.
Empty car park. Someone parks next to you
I don't like to judge, even silently... But, I always judge parents whose kids have huge globs of snot running down their face. I have two kids. They get colds all the time... And have never once had huge globs of snot dripping down their face.
I silently think to myself: Wipe your kid's friggen nose, Mom. Help em out! Give them tissues, and teach them to blow/wipe it themselves. Get your s**t together. Gawd.
Moderately sexist comments. When people say something like "you should know how to dress properly, you're a girl" or "men can't do two things at once" I don't speak out because it would annoy people and they'd think I'm making a fuss over not much but I silently strongly disagree.
When a guy tells me that proper women don't cuss, then I am like f**k you pinche pendejo!
Their eyebrows....I know it sounds vain but I can't for the life of me understand why women want their eyebrows to look like big black Nike swoosh symbols :/
Well soooorrrry, I didn't get to choose what eyebrows I would naturally have. I'm not going to waste money and time, waxing them every few weeks lol.
People who don't at least offer to bring a dish / something to a shared meal.
People bringing kids to places/events that aren't appropriate for them.
There should be someone on the door telling this is not an appropriate place for a child!
Chewing with their mouth open/ smacking lips. Yes I notice, yes the noise makes my appetite curve.
When I was young my parents told me that if i chew with my mouth open a fly will get in to try and eat my chewed food. I stopped and never did it again.
I judge people who fail to use their signals... they must be a special kind of stupid huh?
It has become a running joke in my family to sing, "guess where I am going, guess where I am going" whenever we're behind someone like this. (We sing it in a tune similar to the conga music)
How people dress their children ...
If you are dressed to kill in your designer wear with your makeup and hair done, BUT your child is in rags - I am completely judging you. Do you even care about your poor child???
I also hate it when people dress their children up too much, especially little girls. It's creepy how normalized it's become to sexualize girls and babies with their clothing. I don't understand why parents do this.
Waddling and meandering in the middle of the walk way and ignoring me when I call out "behind you" (more often than not sadly) forcing me to go their pace makes me think they are oblivious morons who don't give a s**t about anyone else.
I'll judge you for not wearing shoes in public. That s**t is gross. Put your shoes on
I silently judge parents of pre-teen girls who let their children out in booty shorts. Just. Stop.
Everybody should be able to wear whatever they want. The problem are the people taking this as invitation to oggle or worse.
Closing a loud door by forcing it shut instead of turning the knob to make it silent. Savages.
Opening a door to a room where someone is, and then leaving without closing the door again.
that one guy that brings a guitar to the campus lounge
As a guitarist, I hope you mean someone who can’t play the guitar properly… lol
I judge people who start eating something in their cart while they are still grocery shopping.
People who take too long getting off of an airplane. It's a simple process, anyone taking forever is just the worst
I always feel I have to rush because I don't want to hold anyone up. Or if possible stay put is you are slow If you don't mind being last!
People who leave during the end credits of a Marvel movie
I judge people who cross the street diagonally.
If there is plenty of time and they're not holding anyone up, what is the problem?
People with fat kids. I always feel so bad for the kids...
Nope, I disagree. You have absolutely no idea what goes on behind closed doors. Yes most of the time it is the child's diet and inactivity BUT you don't know if that child suffers from Prader-willi syndrome, hyperthyroidism, cushings, gestational diabetes and even medications. One of my brothers was on the chubbier side as a child due to the high dose and long term use of steroids for his asthma and eczema. You can't tell if a child is overweight/obese due to diet or illness so best not to make judgement.
Comic sans.
Why do people hate Comic sans? It's just another font out of many. I don't get it
People who give disabled people dirty looks. Or shops that don't have access like we need to get in too you know
I have even experienced disabled people giving other disabled people a hard time. Ahhhh humans, what to do.
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People who leave unwanted items scattered all over the store, especially things that need to be frozen and are just sitting in the canned goods or the bread aisle. If you decide you don't want something, give it to the checkout clerk so it can be returned to the right place. Especially do not leave raw meat just sitting around. Also, people who "donate" so-long-past-expiry-that-it's-not-safe food and other unusable items to the Food Bank. The less fortunate do not want your six year old cocktail onions or your opened package of crackers.
As someone who used to work in a grocery store, I totally agree. You don't want something? Just give it to me so I can have someone put it back. Such a waste to find a package of chicken stuffed in between the magazine racks.
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I judge people who wear their mask under their nose and think they're doing it right. I mean come on, we're like 3 years into this thing and you're still half assing the mask.
People who give disabled people dirty looks. Or shops that don't have access like we need to get in too you know
I have even experienced disabled people giving other disabled people a hard time. Ahhhh humans, what to do.
Load More Replies... People who leave unwanted items scattered all over the store, especially things that need to be frozen and are just sitting in the canned goods or the bread aisle. If you decide you don't want something, give it to the checkout clerk so it can be returned to the right place. Especially do not leave raw meat just sitting around. Also, people who "donate" so-long-past-expiry-that-it's-not-safe food and other unusable items to the Food Bank. The less fortunate do not want your six year old cocktail onions or your opened package of crackers.
As someone who used to work in a grocery store, I totally agree. You don't want something? Just give it to me so I can have someone put it back. Such a waste to find a package of chicken stuffed in between the magazine racks.
Load More Replies... I judge people who wear their mask under their nose and think they're doing it right. I mean come on, we're like 3 years into this thing and you're still half assing the mask.
