Someone Asks “What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?” And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers

This!

I’ve occasionally questioned my normal-ness: shouldn’t every healthy adult animal want to perpetuate the species, at least a little? Shouldn’t I have instincts to reproduce? But I don’t XD I want cats and dogs!

It concerns me that it is often regarded as ‘selfishness’. Your entire life is changed, completely. There is nothing wrong with looking after ‘you’. There are enough children in the world, focus on being a better human being for yourself, so the your own freedoms.

Good point. You need to be wanting kids 100%. You can’t take it back. Plus it’s important that a child is brought into the world and know they are absolutely wanted.

I always say that I would be a bad parent because I don't want to have children. I know some people come around, but as a rule I firmly believe that people who don't want to have children shouldn't be having them.

Lack of wanting kids is absolutely a good reason not to have them.

It's important to know what you don't want as well as what you do want. Both are valuable things to know

As a parent who has never regretted the decision even once - this! Nobody should become a parent as some weird "default". You have a kid if, and only if, you want a kid, and cannot imagine not having a kid.

knowing and saying things like this about yourself should be more applauded but no, people just badger you on with "Buuuutttttt you'd be a great mom/dad!!" and "when you have a kid, you'll feel different!"... Like why does everyone want us to risk and gamble our own lives and that of another person when we know ourselves well enough to not want any kids?

This whole comment section with the "I felt the same until I had them!" Knock it off. You're the reason someone even made this list.

To be more specific, I think that overwhelming desire should have absolutely nothing to do with what kind or how much social credit you may gain or what kind of social pressure you can avoid by having a child.

I have an amazing kid who I'd die for, but I still don't understand why people want kids let alone multiple kids.

(i.e.: see reason 2 above)

Yes. This is it in a nutshell

I'm 46 and the youngest of 13 kids, I have 25 niece's and nephew's and 14 great niece's and nephew's. I've said since the age of 12 that children are not for me. I chose to stay single and not have any children of my own. Because of that decision I was able to stay at home and allow my Mom to quit working full time at the age of 69, help pay and help multiple siblings and their children financially and caring for them and when my Mom's health took a turn for the worse became her 24/7 caregiver with little help. Everyone else, except for one of my sisters that lives locally that is also single and child free who works full time was able to pitch in and help when she was able. My other siblings are living all over the US and had their own households to worry about. If I was married and had children I would not have been able to help everyone when they needed it, take off work when I became sick or be my Mom's caregiver the last 3 years of her life when she needed me the most.

I wanted to be a Mom but financially I understand the why. It still doesn't mean my heart still doesn't yearn for although I'm way too old today..

I say, to each his or her own, have the life you want, being honest is right !!!

Big mistakes that people make is feeling forced to have kids. Which leads to irresponsible parenting and neglect, which leads to childhood trauma. So your making the right choice.

Same

I really want children but I’m hella worried that it will become like my mother and have many addictions and go to mental hospitals because I know first hand (not me, but a sibling) that it’s super expensive!

I knew at an early age I didn't want to have children. My sister had decided early on as well no to have kids. It always really annoyed us both that whenever it came up in conversation and we'd get what I called "the look" and then the barrage of questions afterward. It was like there had to be some other reason for my decision or some horror story from our childhood that made us feel the way we did and that wasn't the case at all.

There is absolutely no valid reason to have/raise an unwanted child.

You're absolutely right. You shouldn't force yourself. It's important to be prepared for that.

This right here! When I was young, I asked my mom how I would know when to have a child. Her answer was simple: "When you want it more than anything else in the world". I never felt that AT ALL, so I knew no kids for me! At 52, I think it's the best decision I ever made!

Right now after 40 years and being a grandparent . It is not the same anymore Plus worse with pedophiles and gvt and schools wanting to be in kids life as if they know better

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YOUR decision so as long as it is your TRUTH stand firm and let No One sway you from it! Parents want grandchildren? Gently But Firmly Suggest They Foster Children In Need.

Because your lord and savior Elon Musk said so, now do it or we'll die.

If you're a female, WAIT. YOU HAVENT TURNED THIRTY YET. "Men" reach their "sexual peak" at the tender age of 19, and are, just as their youth suggests, are selfish lovers physically, are selfish emotionally in all aspects and areas in their lives especially if n their relationships, ESPECIALLY the most important ones they'll ever have- (ask a 30 YO Man how his relationship is with his Mother or Father or even best friend and or closest brother if you've ever been cheated on by a man. Seriously- no matter how mature you are, or over them or it you are... if you ever crave a delicately fermented and vengefully chilled glass of revenge red that pairs nicely with an out of the blue friend request over social media pages designed for either family oriented level headed citizens of the planet who share photos and videos of the next generation to come and their progress so far.. . or lonely has been prom queens or kings to post photos of themselves in clothes that don't fit them doing things

Same. Not thrilled at all

Yes! I'm also one of those people, and I'm taking your advice further and will cross the road over to escape children.

Thank you for being honest with your experience. Seriously

I watched my friends, single moms, with their kid issues. Kid's sick? I have to call out from work. School issue? I have to go see to that. Groceries? I have to make sure the kid has appropriate food, I may have to eat ramen myself though. I was never ready to make those kinds of decisions. Even two parent households had a lot to shovel through with just one kid. No thanks, I'm good by myself.

It’s not considered selfish if you’re choosing to look after yourself. Also, you’re thinking of the sorry world that hypothetical child will be left with in the future.

This is really important. Many illneses are inheritable but it is so normalised to have biological kids that many knew the risk and still choose to have kids. Knowing that they might live in pain for their entire life. There are alternatives like egg/sperm donnors or adoption that at least avoid the genetic issues. I cannot resoect a person that will force their diseases on a child just because they want a bio kid.

Oh my god, this

Yeah I won't lie, I find babies just downright creepy looking and their smell is in no way pleasant to me

For all people considering it the subreddit "childfree" has a huge and international list of sterilisation friendly doctors.

You know, at least as someone with handicapped issues, it's understandable (and often challenged people hold down jobs and can take care of themselves well!). What's worse- and a big fear for me- is when you have a fully functional adult child who doesn't take care of themselves. You see it all the time; grown adults still living at home and can't hold down a full time job, these man-babies/ princesses who are taken care of by pushover parents. I don't mean someone who's in college and paying rent is still young and figuring things out, etc. I mean these people who still act like children when they're 30 and yell at their parents from their smelly and messy basement rooms, depressive and being willfully unhealthy or becoming drug addicts and being THAT kind of burden is a fear for some people, too. I hate to say it this way, but having loser kids is a legit fear. It's hard to live with someone who enjoys victimhood or is in an out of rehab. You shouldn't go into it thinking it's an 18 year commitment; it's possibly a lifetime commitment.

this!