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Kids are not for everyone. Yet, many default to expecting people to start procreating once they settle down, even insisting that those who claim not to want children will surely someday change their minds. Especially women.

But there are plenty of valid reasons for living child-free. And if a person doesn't want to commit to spending around 18 years of their life caring for another human being whose well-being depends entirely on them, maybe we shouldn't force them into it? Regardless of whether or not they belong to the heteronormative part of society.

Drawing attention to the problem, Redditor AGstudios22 asked other platform users who don't plan on having kids what made them come to that conclusion, and we thought that reading through the answers can provide you with quite a few interesting insights, regardless of your own position.

#1

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers From my own experience, I don’t like the thought of bringing a kid into the world we live in. I’d much sooner adopt a kid who’s in a shifty place or in a struggling area. There are millions of kids starving out there, there are millions of kids being abused out there. Rather save one of them than bring another kid into this retched place

Red_Archived_505 , vperemen.com Report

#2

I really, really don't want to be a parent and I feel like that should at the very least be a prerequisite to having them. My grandmother didn't seem to enjoy parenthood, my mom certainly didn't. They did it because they were "supposed to". I'm breaking the cycle.

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Well-Dressed Wolf
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve occasionally questioned my normal-ness: shouldn’t every healthy adult animal want to perpetuate the species, at least a little? Shouldn’t I have instincts to reproduce? But I don’t XD I want cats and dogs!

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#3

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Selfishness. I like the freedom of being able to wake up or go wherever i want without worrying “whos gonna watch my kids” or “my kids are awake so i have to be awake” so i guess I value my personal freedom more then anything a child could provide me

WhyAmIEvenHereJesus , Nina Uhlíková Report

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Tilly Jean
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It concerns me that it is often regarded as ‘selfishness’. Your entire life is changed, completely. There is nothing wrong with looking after ‘you’. There are enough children in the world, focus on being a better human being for yourself, so the your own freedoms.

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#4

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The fact that nothing really makes me WANT to have them. I feel like you should have an overwhelming desire to become a parent - I don’t, so why would I have a kid?

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Tilly Jean
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good point. You need to be wanting kids 100%. You can’t take it back. Plus it’s important that a child is brought into the world and know they are absolutely wanted.

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#5

You know when you are out in public, and you see parents of children and immediately think, "Those people should have never had kids."?

That's me. I'm those people. Not only do I agree with you, I also took your advice.

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Iifa A.
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! I'm also one of those people, and I'm taking your advice further and will cross the road over to escape children.

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#6

Can I answer even though I have them?

The fact that I have them makes me not want them.

I love my kids and will lay down my life for them, but raising kids SUCKS!

They financially, physically and mentally suck the life out of you.

Sure they have their moments but there is nothing rewarding about raising kids, the only thing you get in return is judgement and premature aging.

I don't regret having them, but man I'll be celebrating hard when they're adults and leave home.

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#7

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Well the total lack of wishing to have a child. Zero desire. Just like I have no desire to have a pet rhino or become a lawyer.

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Jaguarundi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I watched my friends, single moms, with their kid issues. Kid's sick? I have to call out from work. School issue? I have to go see to that. Groceries? I have to make sure the kid has appropriate food, I may have to eat ramen myself though. I was never ready to make those kinds of decisions. Even two parent households had a lot to shovel through with just one kid. No thanks, I'm good by myself.

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#8

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I can barely take care of myself sometimes it feels like, can’t possibly take on another human. More selfishly there’s still a lot of things I want to do that I couldn’t if I had a kid. Lastly, just a pessimistic view of the world and the desire to not want to bring new life into that.

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Tilly Jean
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s not considered selfish if you’re choosing to look after yourself. Also, you’re thinking of the sorry world that hypothetical child will be left with in the future.

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#9

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Not wanting to pass on genetic chronic pain/mental illness. Also kids = no money

JamesBlonde21 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Ozacoter
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is really important. Many illneses are inheritable but it is so normalised to have biological kids that many knew the risk and still choose to have kids. Knowing that they might live in pain for their entire life. There are alternatives like egg/sperm donnors or adoption that at least avoid the genetic issues. I cannot resoect a person that will force their diseases on a child just because they want a bio kid.

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#10

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The screaming in the next aisle over at the grocery store because they can't have the <insert item> they want.

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#11

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've just never wanted any. I never played with baby dolls as a child, I never thought twice about babysitting as a teen, and I was always uncomfortable whenever people said "*when* you have kids" (as opposed to "*if*").

I never found babies cute, I can't imagine spending 24/7 with a little human, and most of all the idea of being responsible for this little creature's happiness and growth, and making sure they become a decent, functioning human being, is *incredibly* intimidating.

Mwuuh , ANTONI SHKRABA Report

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V33333P
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I won't lie, I find babies just downright creepy looking and their smell is in no way pleasant to me

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#12

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers After what’s going on in America right now I’m considering getting my tubes tied

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Ozacoter
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For all people considering it the subreddit "childfree" has a huge and international list of sterilisation friendly doctors.

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#13

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've been dealing with a mentally disabled older brother for nearly all my life. He's 32 yrs old, but acts like a 7 yr old nearly ALL the time. I love him to death, but after so long of dealing with him growing up (I'm 22), I just do not have the patience to handle something like that again.

VanessaClarkLove replied: This is my big one. I feel terrible for this, but the fear of having a child that isn’t going to grow into a fully independent person with no limitations stopped me dead. If there was a guarantee they would be of average mental capability, I might reconsider.

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Kate Jones
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, at least as someone with handicapped issues, it's understandable (and often challenged people hold down jobs and can take care of themselves well!). What's worse- and a big fear for me- is when you have a fully functional adult child who doesn't take care of themselves. You see it all the time; grown adults still living at home and can't hold down a full time job, these man-babies/ princesses who are taken care of by pushover parents. I don't mean someone who's in college and paying rent is still young and figuring things out, etc. I mean these people who still act like children when they're 30 and yell at their parents from their smelly and messy basement rooms, depressive and being willfully unhealthy or becoming drug addicts and being THAT kind of burden is a fear for some people, too. I hate to say it this way, but having loser kids is a legit fear. It's hard to live with someone who enjoys victimhood or is in an out of rehab. You shouldn't go into it thinking it's an 18 year commitment; it's possibly a lifetime commitment.

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#14

*gestures wildly* the state of the f*****g world, maybe?

It’s irresponsible to bring a child into the world not knowing if you can provide for them a happy, healthy childhood. And as an American, I just can’t envision a future where my next of kin doesn’t suffer terribly for the economic and ecological blunders of our leadership.

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#16

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The vast majority of parents I meet complain subtley about having children and how much of a struggle it is, how expensive it is, how they get no sleep, no free time etc.

Then, they usually realise they can't be seen to complain about having children and finish their complaints by saying "But its the best thing I ever did." This part always feels like the least genuine bit and everything before feels like the truth.

Furthermore, one of my best friends has a child and spoke candidly about it, saying "I love him to bits but wish I hadn't have had a kid."

Source: Im a teacher who deals with kids and parents daily.

TheHawk17 , Ksenia Chernaya Report

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Glitterati
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two things can be true at once. You can love your child fiercely but also wish they’d sleep past 5am 😄

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#17

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Because all the "best" kid moments to me are not worth losing the ability for my husband and I to spontaneously take off a random Wednesday from our jobs, have some THC, and enjoy the 1200$ Xbox bundle we just got.

Which is what we did today. No ragrets.

GirlNamedTex , cottonbro Report

#18

World's overpopulated, would rather rescue a kid from the system

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Suzanne Tilson
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those poor souls need so much love, and the government wants to add to their ranks instead of letting same sex couples have them

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#19

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers - history of severe life altering mental health issues I would NEVER wish to risk passing on (bi-polar, clinical depression, psychosis etc) my Mother and Grandmother on her side. Somehow I seem to have turned out okay but it meant I had a really difficult upbringing, but I would hate to go through what she does and don't want to risk passing it on.

- Lack of freedom / spontaneity. My fiancé and I are like adult children, we're in our 30's and love to play computer games, go out for random ice cream at 11pm, last minute overseas holidays, go out for meals etc whenever we want, I do not want to give that up. A holiday with a child sounds like a chore to me too. Every outing has to be calculated and organised, a simple trip to the store is now a huge chore and time consuming.

- Loss of self, I don't want to become "Mummy" and nothing else. (Not saying that's what happens to everyone, but I feel some people get lost in their kids and lose all sense of themselves as their world now revolves around their children, which is understandable).

- Cost. I do not want to struggle financially, I absolutely cannot afford children and I think it is selfish to have them when you can't provide for them appropriately. Unlike some childfree people, I don't want to put all my focus into my career, I have an average job, it pays enough, without kids I am able to have a comfortable life but I also LOVE my job and am happy. If I had kids we would have to change careers or get second jobs, which I am not willing to do.

- No experience with kids, I don't know what to do with them our how to talk to them. (Please note, I don't hate kids at all, I just don't want any am and awkward with them) I have zero first cousins, my brother is also child free so no nieces or nephews, I've always been awkward around kids even as a kid, and knew from quite a young age parenthood wasn't for me. I do not feel like I have a maternal instinct at all. I do not get giddy seeing babies, but show me a puppy and i'll be melting!

- Lack of sleep, stress. I want a peaceful and somewhat simple life. I enjoy quiet, I enjoy alone time, I enjoy my sleep. Children to not align with that whatsoever.

- Affect on relationship. Children can ruin relationships, it's not their fault but they do. Lack of intimacy, lack of quality time, financial issues causing problems etc. This is something people can work through, but I don't want to risk putting a strain on my relationship as things are perfect for us as they are.

- Risk of severe disability. I absolutely am not willing to look after a severely disabled child for the rest of my life. I have seen how absolutely broken some of these parents are. I saw 2 people yesterday who were clearly husband and wife in their 70's pushing around what appeared to be their profoundly disabled 40ish year old son. That is not the life I am willing to have, but I also don't want to put myself in a position to have to give a child up for adoption.

Sserenityy , Kelly Sikkema Report

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Susanne B
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually given all these good reasons to NOT have children, it is a little surprising why so many do it anyway. Also maybe the posters mother and grandmother would not have had those troubles, if they had had the opportunity we have nowadays to not have children.

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Tenacious Squirrel
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just to say that the second point is not you being like children - it’s being perfectly normal happy adults. You are able to go out and do things you want to do as you see fit. That’s happiness and fulfilment. It’s also what a lot of people strive for and dream of doing with their futures. For example, booking a last minute holiday is in no way being an adult child.

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Awkward lady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do agree with you, especially your last point. I saw a couple on holiday with a severely disabled adult daughter, and you could tell how tied they were to her every need, all day, every day.

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Sheila Stamey
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would like to add as a child of a parent doomed by severe bi-polar, but I was conceived before wide spread acceptable birth control,I often wished I had another mom. I had myself psychology tested several times before I felt I was in anyway "safe". My children are grown. No it wasn't easy. I would never force it upon anyone who wasn't completely into it.

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Maria
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My child is a premmie and had to stay at the hospital for a long time. I hated being treated by "how is XXX's mum doing today?" by the nurses. "Excuse me, I know you are here because of the babies, but a baby would do better if the mother is well. Right now I'm not ok with losing my identity. So, please, treat me as an individual and not as a being that is only here to give birth." The only person that treated me as an individual was the head peditrician that treated me by my name. I don't know if they complained about me to the doctor, but he never treated me by XXX's mummy. :P

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Anna bannana
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am the oldest of 12 at 9 I was helping change diapers & rinsing them out before going in the washing machine. At 11 yrs I was being left to watch the younger ones while my parents ran errands. There is such an age difference that people thought my baby sister was my daughter! As we got older & family members got married "auntie" (me) always had a niece or nephew in tow as the years went by. I didn't get married till my late 30s & had my daughter at 38. Not a single brother or sister offered to help with my daughter even though I was there when they needed me, not a single present for her birthday or Christmas ever. My daughter is 29 & she is going to have her tubes tied she does not want children & much to family's unhappiness with that I back her up 100%.

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Karl Baxter
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I looked after my younger brother (10 years younger than me) a lot (nappies, baths, etc.) and realised how much work they are. Later on it made the decision not to have kids much easier.

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Jay
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also have bipolar 1 with schizo-affective disorder, and I'm able to manage it by keeping my stress minimal, which can be a big factor in triggering episodes. Pregnancy hormones are known to be very destabilizing for bipolar women, it's a precarious time. Then the stress with kids is constant and ongoing. There's a possibility they'll inherit my issues, and we'll both be in for a rough time

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Esiaa
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This exactly, every point. Especially the experience one. I have no idea what to do with toddlers, but I get fairly well with older kids. For some reason they gravitate towards me and I have no issues with taking care of them for a few minutes. They're not mine so I have no reason to hate them.

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Wesley Sparrow
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You nailed every point even down to my husband and I are giant children who love to have an ice cream date and play video games

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Samantha Melnychuk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These things all sound suspiciously like why I chose not to have kids.

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Suzanne Tilson
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that's the sermon for today people. Spread the news...to those who will listen

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lisa thomas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do have one that has special needs. It sucks there's no other way around it. I never get to retire.

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Munnin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a son with very mild autism but he's just so immature for his age, is a follower rather than a leader, doesn't think things through before acting, and doesn't have a lot of safety awareness. He's only 11 but I'm not sure he will be able to safely live on his own. My 10yr old has developmental delays but he will absolutely be able to live on his own. My father is dead, my mother is 70, my husband's parents are in their very late 70s (and in the UK), my sisters are terrible people, I don't have really any close friends. I have been worried since they were small who they would go to if we died while they were children. With their diagnoses I now also worry where they will live as adults. They have adult siblings who would take them, but it's not fair to expect them to. We've been lucky to get some breaks: pre-covid my son and his gf watched them so we could go to NYC for a weekend, they are both high-functioning and attended a local day camp every summer pre-covid.

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Ash Friend
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate to the health problems. I seem to be following in the footsteps of several of my family members on both the Maternal and Paternal side. Heart problems, blood pressure problems, and hereditary migraines to name a few. Even if I Had ever had any desire whatsoever to have kids, those seemingly hereditary health issues that are starting younger and younger with each generation are a big reason not to want kids. I'm only in my later 20's and I have heart problems for goodness sake! What would any kids I have deal with?

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Mama Penguin
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Speaking about loss of self, while I was growing up, my mom sometimes lamented about the career she could've had. She had several promising job offers that she had to turn down because of kids and moving abroad for my dad's job assignments. Don't get me wrong. My mom loves us more than anything, but there's always that sense of regrets deep underneath it all. I guess that gradually instilled in me the desire to be childfree.

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Giobemo
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, a hodgepodge of various answers above then. Yes, it can be hard to choose just one sometimes!

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Sarah Donnelly
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look, you can be the most prepared person in the world, and still not be prepared enough for a baby. My boyfriend and I were ready for when our daughter would be born, but we didn't know there was something wrong with her until AFTER she was born. Nothing ever came up in the ultrasounds, but her esophagus wasn't connected to her stomach. She had surgery a couple days later, as well as 14 dilations of her esophagus which all took place during her first year of life. She's 6 now and is doing great. The first few years of her life were challenging, but we made it work.

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Munnin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister's second child showed no anomalies on the scans and nothing obviously wrong when she was born. By 9/10mos old, there were signs that something was clearly wrong (not hitting most milestones at all, no reaction to others, no vocalization). It took 2 years and going to many specialists, including out of state, for her to be diagnosed with Rett Syndrome. She is very severely disabled. And there was absolutely nothing in any prenatal testing to indicate she would have this (and they had a lot of testing because my bil's niece had Tay Sachs and died at age 5 and prior to her being born no one on either side had anything like this so genetic testing was strongly recommended). There are disorders and disabilities that just don't show up until well after birth. Good for the OP of this original comment for understanding that things can happen at any time and that they're not equipped to deal with those things, and deciding not to have kids.

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Jay
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have bipolar 1 with schizoaffective disorder, and though I'm managing it well in my adulthood, I'm mainly able to do so by keeping my stress levels minimal, which contributes to triggering episodes. Kids are constant stress. Also, pregnancy hormones can be very destabilizing when you have this condition, it's a precarious time for bipolar women. Then yeah, there's not an insignificant chance they'd have it too

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Anna Tribe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her owned house over to me so he wouldn't ever have to move out because he had lived in the house his whole life. She was terrified what would happen when she wasn't able to take care of him anymore. I told her that I understood totally but I was just 15 and it wasn't possible. She said she understood. I was being abused at home by my mum and with very short notice I was sent to live with my dad in Germany, he was in the British army. Didn't work out for multiple reasons and I went back to the UK. First thing I did was go to the day centre and ask for a job. While there I noticed he wasn't there and asked if he was sick. Less than a month after I moved his mum had a stroke and died, he had been placed in a group home but because he'd never been away from home or his mum he refused to eat and drink and he died about a month after his mum. All these years later and I still regret the choice I made. He wouldn't have died and his mum knew he would be in safe and capable hands.

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Anna Tribe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More than 30 years I was working at a day centre after school for adults with disabilities including down syndrome. Wonderful people but none of them would ever be able to live independently. One guy with DS was in his 40s and just a sweet guy. His mum came by bus with him to drop him off, went home and then came later to pick him up. One day she didn't turn up and didn't answer the phone so I was asked to take him home as it was on my bus route. We get to his house and I could see his mum on the ground so went in, checked for injuries and helped her up. He wanted to watch TV so I put on cartoons and took her into the kitchen to make a pot of tea and also dinner. She said she was scared about the future. Husband had passed away 10 years before then and she had no other family to help her. Then she looked at me and said her son liked me, would I consider moving in and getting married to him so she knew he would be well taken care of for the rest of his life. She was also willing to sign

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jessica smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I absolutely love that you said you are happy! You love your job, you are living the life you want. It's so well said in your list of really good points and hard truths about your family history.

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Patricia Ray
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am 73 and never had kids. I remember when my sister (now deceased) had a baby out of wedlock and all the attention my parents gave to her. The baby was put up for adoption and that was that. She came home and got pregnant again twice. The kids lived with my parents as I did. I took No Role in caring for either one of them. I had no desire to be a mother Ever. I got pregnant in 1975 and got an abortion. I never regretted doing that, until now that I'm older and wiser. Because after the abortion, I Couldn't get pregnant again.

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Munnin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not trying to start a fight with you but I'm curious why you regret the abortion and subsequent infertility if you never wanted to be a mother?

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Michele Varnum
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Knowing I was made on purpose by my mother but never waned by my father's been very hard to deal with

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Adinda Jane White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can I add environmental footprint? Thank you for this list. It helps me. Since being a child the only thing I wanted was having kids. Of my own and adopted. Then I got a physical disability. Now I'm the only one of all my former classmates and friends that don't have them. I quit social media because it mades me feel I'm missing out of all the fun (and not only because of my chronic pain). But my mind turns from upside to pride because I won't leave a footprint

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Munnin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you desire to make a positive impact on a child, and if you're physically able to, you may consider becoming a foster parent. Kids aren't removed from their parents for no reason; they've been neglected or abused or lived in a dangerous situation. It's hard being a kid in foster care because they have no sense of stability (foster parents can "give them back" at any time), sometimes other people make them feel like trash because they are in foster care, and some foster parents are blatantly only in it for the money. Foster kids need every stable, loving adult they can get. If taking on a foster kid full time isn't doable, you may consider doing respite, which is taking foster kids for short periods of time (like a weekend ) so the foster parents can get a break, go on holiday, or take care of some stuff. Foster parents can't just drop these kids anywhere, it needs to be with someone approved by the state.

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Marie Garcia
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am all for people who don't want children not to have them. As a mom myself, your whole world changes and although I love it about 90% of the time, there's sacrifices and some that come around that have to be put to rest forever and some that are just on hold. I was willing and able to do it. I tried so long for a child because that is what I really wanted.

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sweetrottenpeaches
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not about parental insticts. I think she is just smart enough not to have them at all points.

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Linda Stephens
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You mentioned a puppy, but I guess you forgot they also need food & water, plus they have to be taken for walks & be housebroken & trained not to jump on people or other pets

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LoveBug
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a difference between an animal and human being 😄 dogs don't go to school, don't grow up to get married, don't talk back to you or throw tantrums at the grocery store.

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Bernadine Gonzales
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry, but children don't ruin relationships. YOU and WHOEVER YOU'RE WITH ruin your relationships, not the child that had nothing to do with it. Makes no sense

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PeppershakerPros
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am not changing my kid's diaper into their 40's, that's for sure. I go to a group for disabled people and some of these f**king people you will not BELIEVE. i sometimes wonder if their parents are brother and sister

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Agnieszka Zok
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Valid points, from my own experience - I'm this weird girl that plays a lot of games and roleplay at outdoor events, I didn't lose myself after giving a birth, we play with my daughter at PC or Playstation. It's fun. Like I'm this 30 years old child and i can share my hobbies with her. Lately we made model of tailor house (I rly love those DIY sets) and some pokemon magnets with perlers. We watch anime together. Well I do what I like and I can share it. But I know that not everyone wants this kind of stuff. About how to behave around kids - well I HATE kids of other people, like I see a potato on newborn photos, I don't have common topics with most of children cause all they know is s****y click mobile game that parents let them play to distract them. I don't want to convince you to change your mind, I'm just here to say that from parent perspective your points are valid. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just stupid bonobo :D

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Sharon Morris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good points all of them. My biggest ick factor is the married couple who call each other mom or mother & dad. Simply by referring to themselves as a no name entity loses all interesting facets they may still have.

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Cindy Clark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love your intelligent list. This content should be on a public poster or highway billboard; even a PSA! Hard to relay quickly, though. I just say I am selfish. If pressed, I say that I am just not a breeder (you can add "like you"). Adore that this seems to inform and offend at the same time! If that doesn't shut them up, I advise them that I was abused and would probably beat the kid to death. They never expect that truth. I am a Catholic 65yo with 8 siblings (Ma had last one at 43 and her mother had twins at 47) and no patience. Because I have excellent health, I remained petrified of pregnancy for nearly 40 years. I never wanted kids or needed the unconditional love and the legacy. Mother repeatedly verbalized that my sole purpose on earth was to procreate (wow). Still battling disdain even though my time is passed.

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Jessica Edelbrock
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't remember writing this post, but it certainly sounds like I did. Except the no nibbling part. I have over a dozen and they remind me constantly that I'm allegedly a responsible adult. Pfft. I'm not even wearing matching socks, kid.

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Andy Hinds
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That last paragraph. This is why banning abortion in the USA is insane.

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the shrimp whisperer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THE LAST ONE THOUGH. please tell the karens who think everyone should have kids that if they themselves are not willing to care for a severely disabled kid... they shouldn't.

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Stormy
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely! I am a person living with schizoaffective disorder. I would never want to pass that on! (Schizophreniform diseases are passed on more than most want to admit). At the same time, I know I could not handle the stress of rearing a child without ending up hospitalized often and not being ABLE to rear my child in a stable home environment.

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Niomie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But this day and age you can get genetic tests to ensure that the baby doesn't have certain disabilities that could cause a life long problem. 70 years ago medicine wasn't as advance. So I salute those old parents who really cared for their child. Ultimately when you become a parent you love in a different way. I have a baby. He is great. I had no issues with sleeping through the night. I have no issues with getting up and going anywhere. He loves going anywhere I go. He is a curious little one. He is very good in temperament. I can say I lucked out. My father took me everywhere. Told me that I was a very chill baby/kid. If I go for a car ride I'd just take a nap (every damn time). I ate what he ate. And when I think back I realize all I wanted was to spend time around my family so it didn't matter where I was as long as I was with them. I can say that if I took my baby out right now he would just sleep in the car seat or in the carrier. No issues at the moment

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pamela nichols
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did it 3 times 3 different personalities and I am proud of them but if I could have a do over oh baby!

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Ali Cosper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This, I am you and you are me. My husband and I play games daily and live a life of spontaneity. We are 30. He wants 7 kids (we have none yet) and I'm pushing on the big want 0 kids for all of these reasons. He just said, we can hire a live in nanny like he doesn't have to have back to back kids for the next seven years....

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B 🇺🇦🇨🇦
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1 year ago

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Krystan Sullivan-Adcock
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1 year ago

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Loanni Kerris
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do not forget Autism - which these days has become almost epidemic-like

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Joan P C
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't have any children- you are way to selfish!

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JRM 3
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that you took the time to write all of that out is a bit sad. Hope you have brighter days.

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LoveBug
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's never guaranteed your kid or kids are going to take care of you. How many old people are living by themselves these days. Their kids don't even visit them

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Candy Morgan
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1 year ago

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A life of complete selfishness sounds a lot worse to me . I could never think like you and totally admire this couple you are speaking of. A life of self indulgence makes my stomach want to barf !

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Munnin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why such hate towards someone you don't know who is making choices that you wouldn't make? This woman's decision to not have kids doesn't impact you at all. Not everyone desires to be a parent or make the neverending sacrifices that come with having kids. Good for these people for recognizing that they don't want kids or caving to the pressure from others to have a child they don't want. Kids know when their parents are miserable and not overjoyed to be around them; that makes for a sh!tty childhood and the need for therapy as an adult. I'll add that being an inflexible, intolerant, judgemental jerk who lacks the ability to accept and respect harmless views that differ from yours makes you a bad parent.

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Pinky Gladys Gutsman
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1 year ago

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You need some counselling. Seriously. You are very self-centered and should probably be tested for a few mental illnesses

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Munnin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because she's decided, for very well-thought-out and valid reasons, that she doesn't want to be a breeder just to make people like you happy? I'd recommend anyone who gets angry because another person decides not to have children be tested for a few mental illnesses.

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Mosheh Wolf
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1 year ago

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I agree with this EXCEPT for the term "Child-Free". I'm sorry, but my kid isn't an unhealthy additive, a toxin, or anything like that. So please stop referring to people who choose to not have children as "Child-Free"

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#20

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I have tokophobia (extreme fear of pregnancy).

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I’ve Seen Things
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cannot upvote this enough! Catholic all girls school run by nuns, where it was rammed home that the worst thing that can happen to you was teenage pregnancy. Classmates also amplified this “fear” and judgement. For some of us, this fear stuck for life not just the school years. I’ve been explaining/citing tokophobia for decades.

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#21

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Honestly, TikTok etc..

I can raise a kid how I think right but there’s only so much you can shield them from the internet and I’m scared of what the future holds with celebrity/influencer brainwashing culture.
I feel like my generation (early 90’s) was the last generation that was largely safe from this..

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Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this so much. I want kids, but this is something that really worries me about how I'm going to raise them. The Internet is as harmful as it is useful.

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#22

I find them annoying.

Also I have no paternal instinct, don't have the temperament to be a good parent, and I'm poor.

It would be unfair to any child to have me imposed on them as a parent.

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Esiaa
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'I'm poor' this. I barely have enough for myself sometimes. I can't imagine having a kid. Unless the kid gets a job too.

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#23

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Those kids who have parents that are perfectly normal but still somehow act like mini serial killers.

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Well-Dressed Wolf
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children are born without ethics and morals pre-installed. Of course they’re tiny sociopaths until their parents teach them better… and sometimes, not even normal/good parents can teach them better because the kids don’t WANT to learn society’s rules and conform to them.

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#24

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers my mental health and financial situation. i wouldn’t want to raise a kid the same way i was raised.

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#25

It costs too much. The average birth costs like 40k without complications. Decent daycare near me is $1400 a month. That alone is crippling.

It's bad for the environment and I question the morality of putting my children through the potential climate wars and/or apocalypse.

Also, sometimes despite your best efforts and doing everything correctly, your kids turn out to be a**holes.

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Panda Kicki
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cost issue is really dependent on where you live. We have free maternal care and delivery in Sweden and the max cost of daycare is about 150 dollars for the first kid and cheaper for siblings. (Sweden)

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#26

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I’ve been clinically depressed for almost a decade. Post partum depression is one of the things that terrifies me about the prospect of having kids. Also I am in no way mentally stable enough to be a parent.

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Glitterati
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pregnancy and childbirth gave me severe ptsd. I had PPD and anxiety. I can’t have any more children due to the impact on my mental health. The struggle is real. I still wouldn’t change a thing as my child is the love of my life but if I had never known that love I wouldn’t miss it.

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#27

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Watching my sister's kid get kicked out of daycare for slamming a kids face into a table and hitting a teacher. he's 3, and the most difficult kid I've met.

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CatGirl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know that I've ever hated something as much as I've hated the difficult kids I've taught. Just little animals.

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#28

I love my kids but they completely ruined my life and i don't advocate for anyone to have them

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#29

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers My neighbor has 7 of them. The only form of communication in that house is screaming. The teenage boy just screamed in the middle of my typing this. Kid is absolute s***e at whatever game he's trying to play. My work meetings are constantly interrupted by his whiny cursing/crying sessions.

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#30

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Pregnancy.
I’ve always been terrified of pregnancy, but I thought I’d feel more comfortable with it as I got older.
Nope. I’m 34 and the thought of being pregnant still freaks me out to no end. I’d love to adopt, but I don’t think I ever want to be pregnant.

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Marianne
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Adoption is so important! Pregnancy is not necessary to be a loving parent!

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