Kids are not for everyone. Yet, many default to expecting people to start procreating once they settle down, even insisting that those who claim not to want children will surely someday change their minds. Especially women.

But there are plenty of valid reasons for living child-free. And if a person doesn't want to commit to spending around 18 years of their life caring for another human being whose well-being depends entirely on them, maybe we shouldn't force them into it? Regardless of whether or not they belong to the heteronormative part of society.

Drawing attention to the problem, Redditor AGstudios22 asked other platform users who don't plan on having kids what made them come to that conclusion, and we thought that reading through the answers can provide you with quite a few interesting insights, regardless of your own position.

#1

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers From my own experience, I don’t like the thought of bringing a kid into the world we live in. I’d much sooner adopt a kid who’s in a shifty place or in a struggling area. There are millions of kids starving out there, there are millions of kids being abused out there. Rather save one of them than bring another kid into this retched place

Red_Archived_505 , vperemen.com Report

Jay Kay
Community Member
1 month ago

This!

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#2

I really, really don't want to be a parent and I feel like that should at the very least be a prerequisite to having them. My grandmother didn't seem to enjoy parenthood, my mom certainly didn't. They did it because they were "supposed to". I'm breaking the cycle.

theredheaddiva Report

Well-Dressed Wolf
Community Member
1 month ago

I’ve occasionally questioned my normal-ness: shouldn’t every healthy adult animal want to perpetuate the species, at least a little? Shouldn’t I have instincts to reproduce? But I don’t XD I want cats and dogs!

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#3

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Selfishness. I like the freedom of being able to wake up or go wherever i want without worrying “whos gonna watch my kids” or “my kids are awake so i have to be awake” so i guess I value my personal freedom more then anything a child could provide me

WhyAmIEvenHereJesus , Nina Uhlíková Report

Tilly Jean
Community Member
1 month ago

It concerns me that it is often regarded as ‘selfishness’. Your entire life is changed, completely. There is nothing wrong with looking after ‘you’. There are enough children in the world, focus on being a better human being for yourself, so the your own freedoms.

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#4

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The fact that nothing really makes me WANT to have them. I feel like you should have an overwhelming desire to become a parent - I don’t, so why would I have a kid?

pupsnpogonas , Nataliya Vaitkevich Report

Tilly Jean
Community Member
1 month ago

Good point. You need to be wanting kids 100%. You can’t take it back. Plus it’s important that a child is brought into the world and know they are absolutely wanted.

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#5

You know when you are out in public, and you see parents of children and immediately think, "Those people should have never had kids."?

That's me. I'm those people. Not only do I agree with you, I also took your advice.

erieus_wolf Report

Iifa A.
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes! I'm also one of those people, and I'm taking your advice further and will cross the road over to escape children.

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#6

Can I answer even though I have them?

The fact that I have them makes me not want them.

I love my kids and will lay down my life for them, but raising kids SUCKS!

They financially, physically and mentally suck the life out of you.

Sure they have their moments but there is nothing rewarding about raising kids, the only thing you get in return is judgement and premature aging.

I don't regret having them, but man I'll be celebrating hard when they're adults and leave home.

MelDea Report

V33333P
Community Member
1 month ago

Thank you for being honest with your experience. Seriously

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#7

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Well the total lack of wishing to have a child. Zero desire. Just like I have no desire to have a pet rhino or become a lawyer.

Gyunda , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Jaguarundi
Community Member
1 month ago

I watched my friends, single moms, with their kid issues. Kid's sick? I have to call out from work. School issue? I have to go see to that. Groceries? I have to make sure the kid has appropriate food, I may have to eat ramen myself though. I was never ready to make those kinds of decisions. Even two parent households had a lot to shovel through with just one kid. No thanks, I'm good by myself.

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#8

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I can barely take care of myself sometimes it feels like, can’t possibly take on another human. More selfishly there’s still a lot of things I want to do that I couldn’t if I had a kid. Lastly, just a pessimistic view of the world and the desire to not want to bring new life into that.

gnophy , Sharon McCutcheon Report

Tilly Jean
Community Member
1 month ago

It’s not considered selfish if you’re choosing to look after yourself. Also, you’re thinking of the sorry world that hypothetical child will be left with in the future.

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#9

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Not wanting to pass on genetic chronic pain/mental illness. Also kids = no money

JamesBlonde21 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Ozacoter
Community Member
1 month ago

This is really important. Many illneses are inheritable but it is so normalised to have biological kids that many knew the risk and still choose to have kids. Knowing that they might live in pain for their entire life. There are alternatives like egg/sperm donnors or adoption that at least avoid the genetic issues. I cannot resoect a person that will force their diseases on a child just because they want a bio kid.

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#10

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The screaming in the next aisle over at the grocery store because they can't have the <insert item> they want.

lipp79 Report

Błażej Kowalczyk
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh my god, this

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#11

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've just never wanted any. I never played with baby dolls as a child, I never thought twice about babysitting as a teen, and I was always uncomfortable whenever people said "*when* you have kids" (as opposed to "*if*").

I never found babies cute, I can't imagine spending 24/7 with a little human, and most of all the idea of being responsible for this little creature's happiness and growth, and making sure they become a decent, functioning human being, is *incredibly* intimidating.

Mwuuh , ANTONI SHKRABA Report

V33333P
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah I won't lie, I find babies just downright creepy looking and their smell is in no way pleasant to me

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#12

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers After what’s going on in America right now I’m considering getting my tubes tied

allero0 , Ted Eytan Report

Ozacoter
Community Member
1 month ago

For all people considering it the subreddit "childfree" has a huge and international list of sterilisation friendly doctors.

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#13

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've been dealing with a mentally disabled older brother for nearly all my life. He's 32 yrs old, but acts like a 7 yr old nearly ALL the time. I love him to death, but after so long of dealing with him growing up (I'm 22), I just do not have the patience to handle something like that again.

VanessaClarkLove replied: This is my big one. I feel terrible for this, but the fear of having a child that isn’t going to grow into a fully independent person with no limitations stopped me dead. If there was a guarantee they would be of average mental capability, I might reconsider.

MajesticxFlan , Nathan Anderson Report

Kate Jones
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

You know, at least as someone with handicapped issues, it's understandable (and often challenged people hold down jobs and can take care of themselves well!). What's worse- and a big fear for me- is when you have a fully functional adult child who doesn't take care of themselves. You see it all the time; grown adults still living at home and can't hold down a full time job, these man-babies/ princesses who are taken care of by pushover parents. I don't mean someone who's in college and paying rent is still young and figuring things out, etc. I mean these people who still act like children when they're 30 and yell at their parents from their smelly and messy basement rooms, depressive and being willfully unhealthy or becoming drug addicts and being THAT kind of burden is a fear for some people, too. I hate to say it this way, but having loser kids is a legit fear. It's hard to live with someone who enjoys victimhood or is in an out of rehab. You shouldn't go into it thinking it's an 18 year commitment; it's possibly a lifetime commitment.

Mathias Viera
Community Member
1 month ago

Even if he/she is a successful, independent adult, parenthood is a lifetime contract. S**t happens, grandsons happens, and family is a forever link with your relatives. If you don't feel it that way, sure you're not prepared for kids

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Flash Henry
Community Member
1 month ago

My cousin is 30 and has Downs Syndrome. She's somewhat high functioning, but not enough that she will ever be able to have a job or live on her own. My aunt is petrified of what will happen to her daughter when she dies, as there is no one in our family who is both willing and able to devote time and money to take care of her.

Munnin
Community Member
1 month ago

I don't know how old, healthy, or lucky your aunt is but if no family member is willing to take on the responsibility of your cousin, your aunt needs to start getting something in place NOW. She can start by contacting adult protective services at social services to ask for the contact information for some agencies that assist and help house adults with disabilities. Your state will also have something like an Office of Disability Services, which can help her as well. Getting your cousin into a day program for special needs adults now would be hugely beneficial to her. Many disabled adults have limited social interactions with other people and can become scared or agitated when they suddenly have to be separated from their primary caregiver. There are living environments for adults with special needs that are safe, comfortable, and provide a good quality of life. Your aunt needs to introduce your cousin to her possible future life while your aunt is still around to be there with her.

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Nitka Tsar
Community Member
1 month ago

That‘s my reason why I would abort a pregnancy if there was a possibility of the child being severely mentally disabled. I don‘t think I would be a fit Mother for such a child and frankly I don‘t want to be responsible for it till the end of my own life and then give the responsibility over to my other children. That‘s not fair to them either.

NatalieC
Community Member
1 month ago

This is exactly right. There's so much schizophrenia and suicide in my family that I knew that I wouldn't be able to deal with it. Not a great gene pool there.

Adagar
Community Member
1 month ago

I can relate to this one so much. My youngest brother is not as severely disabled but will never be an independent adult. Besides the challenges that already come with autism, the isolation it can cause has brought him no shortage of depression and bitterness towards life. It'll be a lifetime commitment for our mom, and eventually, it'll be a commitment (or burden, if I'm being less generous) for my other brother and me.

Sarah Matt
Community Member
1 month ago

I babysat in ny teens and most of my 14 younger cousins. Now I work with the severely disabled. Some days are really difficult emotionally and physically. Im far from being able to be financially stable. Bringing another human into this world would be cruel and irresponsible. My life has value without bringing another person into this world.

Alena McCain
Community Member
1 month ago

I would like to say that I was born with a physical disability and when I was young my parents were told I wouldn't really accomplish anything. I'm 24 and I put myself through college, have an amazing husband (who isn't disabled), make 90,000 dollars a year as a software developer, and my parents are looking forward to some grandchildren (my kids) in the future. Just because your kid might be disabled doesn't mean they aren't worth anything and even if they need lots of care they can bring joy and a new perspective into your life in unexpected ways.

Diolla
Community Member
1 month ago

Well done!!!! I

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Anna Tribe
Community Member
1 month ago

Have you discussed with your parents what will happen after they pass on? Is he already in a group home with support or at home with your parents? It's best to discuss it with them so they don't have the idea that he will be your responsibility after they can't take care of him anymore.

Diolla
Community Member
1 month ago

My older brother was severely mentally disabled which put a big strain on our family. I think that is one of the reasons both my sister and me never desired to have children. You never know what you gonna get and your kid is your kid for life.

Kylie Minou
Community Member
1 month ago

Parents who raise disabled children deserve to bypass the line to heaven, but I can't imagine how they might feel that when they are not around, who will care for their child?

Beth Gietl
Community Member
1 month ago

That is the one thing, there are no guarantees in this life. We take what we get. We work with it.

Isaac Harvey
Community Member
1 month ago

I have three diagnoses that collectively affect my everyday life- not too much nowadays, but some days noticeably more than others. The most consequential of them is the one I’ve had since August 2013, when I was 9.

Lana Ring
Community Member
1 month ago

A lot of times seeing something like this is considered "taboo", but this is a massive thing to consider when having children. Some people just do not have the patience or capacity to handle a possibly severely mentally disabled person, and that's okay! That's something that HAS to be taken into account when thinking about children, especially people who have no mental disabilities. That is a HUGE responsibility, and it's okay to not be able to handle it.

Monica Tucker
Community Member
1 month ago

Sorry for the way you feel about down syndrome. But that is a gift from God to see if you can handle it...because there is something going to happen in your life that will be hard.

Gretchen Isabeau
Community Member
1 month ago

My older sister had an autistic son after years of trying and miscarrying. She had a weight issue and finally had him. With what she and her husband has to deal with and knowing he will never leave the home after 18 or 21, I know I couldn't do that if that were to happen to me. I don't have the patience to deal with a developmentally disabled child for the rest of my life, freedom lost forever. I know it, I would regrettable place them in an institution and hate myself for it foe the remainder of my or their life and that might be worse. Not giving them a chance to regret being born by ending it before it starts and they can argue with my decision was better in the end.

Alisha Schumacher
Community Member
1 month ago

I always feel bad for this one, but the thought of having an handicapped child makes me stressed out. I cant handle kids, how should I handle someone who will never really be independent without feeling horrible??

Keyrara Sanchez Michael
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

That right there , my sister (disabled) is taking care of her cousin who is fully capable (they will argue that FACT) of taking care of himself is a burden and she acts like it's an act of love. Your taking care of a grown a*s man who can get a job in his pervue but won't cuz she will just let her husband do it all.

justin kaufman
Community Member
1 month ago

this one is a little bit f****d up. I recall someone on CNN saying what if the child has a disability and this is the reason they wanted full abortion rights. like somehow all of the kids with disabilities in her family that she mentioned should have just been aborted. shameful.

Carol Emory
Community Member
1 month ago

I had the same issue after my son was diagnosed with autism and the doctors told me that another child had a good chance of being autistic too. We got lucky with my son in that he is high functioning and working towards being independent, but he still has the mentality of a 7 year old so he will need to have someone looking after him his whole life for him to be safe. I love kids and would rather foster kids than have any more of my own. It makes more sense to me.

Jay
Community Member
1 month ago

I'd be so afraid of what would become of them after I'm gone.

Sleepy Panda
Community Member
1 month ago

I feel this one also, my guy of almost 9 years had one child, and he was special needs. Most amazing little boy ever, by but man he went through so much in his 10yrs of life that just wasn't fair..... He passed away in 2017, 2 weeks after his papaw..... But he would have never been able to live on his own or anything either. Its so messed up

European sparrow
Community Member
1 month ago

You can do prenatal tests at 20 weeks pregnancy for Down syndrome and choose to abort or not if that's the case. If you live in a place that allows it.

SelkieBlackfysh
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah, I worry about winding up with a kid who has ODD. Dated a girl who's kids had it. Holy f**k do not want to deal with.

Elmina Smith
Community Member
1 month ago

This possibility has ALWAYS scared me😟

Mickie Shea
Community Member
1 month ago

They can do testing now to predict a lot of maladies which could accompany a child. However er the republicans do not want you to decide. They'll do it for you.

Lilith
Community Member
1 month ago

Having taught job skills to adults with disabilities I understand where you are coming from. You do give up your life for said child. Some can handle it and others can't. I loved them like my own but I got to say goodbye at the end of the work day caregivers never get to say this. If you know someone with a disabled child/adult child help them out.

Amy Stone-Chandler
Community Member
1 month ago

Honestly? This weirdly sounds like an excuse. There is NOTHING wrong with saying "I don't want children." People need to stop harassing others that don't want them for any reason. Downs and severe disabilities are not common. They also test for all that stuff now early on if you want. I chose not to test cause it didn't matter to me but many women do! Your body, your choice. Never feel like you have to justify your choice!

Hannah C
Community Member
1 month ago

You can get genetic testing with you and your partner I think to help determine the likely hood of this happening. But I agree, bless those humans who have the capacity, desire and patience to deal with severely handicapped individuals. I do not.

Hannah C
Community Member
1 month ago

You can get genetic testing with you and your partner I think to help determine the likely hood of this happening

Kazeo Lion
Community Member
1 month ago

Sniff… Sniff… I smell ableism

Ashley Mac
Community Member
1 month ago

Yeah it sounds really f****d up and ableist and everything, but I'm disabled and I wouldn't wish my life on anyone. It's incredibly difficult and painful just for me to be alive.

Kinga Dołęgowska
Community Member
1 month ago

Agree in 100%

Tealece Martin
Community Member
1 month ago

This still is all so new to me. I am a 31yo woman. In November i found out i was pregnant i was so excited! On Feb 19 i found out my fetus had Down syndrome. On March 5th i terminated my pregnancy at 21 weeks. One of the most painful things ive been through both mentally and physically. I now think about how things would have been. It would have been rough for my son to live in this world. I wanted him so bad but even i knew ibwasnt capable of raising a special child alone.

Gaye Thomas Eppley
Community Member
1 month ago

Legit.

Maggie Mykle
Community Member
1 month ago

Admirable Honesty - Don't let others try to shame you or worse still, talk you into changing your mind. Just be very clear if dating turns serious so you don't waste someone's time.

RenegadeTrader
Community Member
1 month ago

They can be highly intelligent but unable to care for themselves due to mental illness too.

Heta Luna
Community Member
1 month ago

Although it's possible to see if a child has a disability during the abortion time window, it's not 100% accurate and people WILL judge you for doing an abortion, even tho they themselves have perfectly healthy children, so they don't know!

Heta Luna
Community Member
1 month ago

It's actually possible these days to check for disabilities before birth during a time window where you can abort But the amount of judgement people will give a person who does that just because they themselves have a perfectly healthy child and Don't know the feeling and situation? I'd rather stay kidless

Pat Rose
Community Member
1 month ago

Please people, Google "parental age" before you reproduce. A 45 year old man has a much higher rate of schizophrenia and autism in their offspring.

Pat Rose
Community Member
1 month ago

It's all fine while they are in school. After high school, there's nothing. That's when the depression sets in. As a society, we need to be coming up with real solutions for developmentally delayed adults.

Jane Ryan
Community Member
1 month ago

To VanessaClarkLove: You can be guaranteed a perfectly healthy child (IVF with gene editing etc.) with no disabilities at birth, but you can not guarantee what happens after they are born. Accidents happen that can have disastrous results at any age.

Raimei Ai
Community Member
1 month ago

I raised my little sister for many years and we are only 20 months apart in age... I raised her from age 2-9. She's bi polar, schizo-affective... And an unpredictable nightmare!!! Now she has a 2 yr old...I'm worried for the future...she's a good mom...but those illnesses can be genetically passed down...

Alicia GriffonLady
Community Member
1 month ago

If you have the urge to be a parent but don't trust the genetics you've been given, there are many children that could use a foster or adopted family. They deffinatly need someone to show them their futures can be bright and unlimited.

Stephanie Trump
Community Member
1 month ago

I can relate to this. Also the fact that there’s a fairly good chance for me to have a child with these issues too

InfectedVoiceBox
Community Member
1 month ago

My good friend has a son with down syndrome and autism, he's only 7 now and of course he loves him but he doesn't hide the fact that is extremely difficult and he will live with his parents for the rest of their life, its pretty evident already he will never be independent.

Emma Brode
Community Member
1 month ago

I don’t think this one should have a photo next to it. Has this person consented to having their photo used?

Pinky Gladys Gutsman
Community Member
1 month ago

So... Do you know there is genetic testing that can tell you if your child will have disabilities?

Sarah Ward
Community Member
1 month ago

I had this testing done when I was pregnant with my son. I was a single mother that was also homeless during that time. The tests came back negative. After pregnancy, around 14 months, he was diagnosed with low functioning autism. At 7 years of age, he was diagnosed with intractable epilepsy and a rare chromosome disorder (only 3 in the world including him- he’s the only one in the US with it). So many complications that have made life not fair, but would I still choose him then had I known what I do now? Absolutely. I would choose him every single time. It’s not easy and it takes more than a village to raise a child with special needs, but there is so much beauty in the struggle.

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Chris Keding
Community Member
1 month ago

You are a horrible person!

Aran Lindvail
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

"If there was a guarantee they would be of average mental capability, I might reconsider." - yeah, it's probably better if this person never has children.

Natalia Maciel
Community Member
1 month ago

At least the op is honest about their limitations and chose not to be a parent

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CatGirl
Community Member
1 month ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Arguably, people who have a recognizable disability actually have a BETTER shot at life than people who are of 'average mental capability' but, for example, suffer depression.

Anna Banana
Community Member
1 month ago

How do you figure? Do you think that people with disabilities have lower rates of depression than the general population? Because otherwise it's a false dichotomy IMO.

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#14

*gestures wildly* the state of the f*****g world, maybe?

It’s irresponsible to bring a child into the world not knowing if you can provide for them a happy, healthy childhood. And as an American, I just can’t envision a future where my next of kin doesn’t suffer terribly for the economic and ecological blunders of our leadership.

Clockw0rk Report

that_curly_girl 🇺🇦
Community Member
1 month ago

this!

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#15

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers My ex who said "now you can't leave me"

Between_the_narrows , Guillaume de Germain Report

Suzanne Tilson
Community Member
1 month ago

Good to know ex is in their title now

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#16

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The vast majority of parents I meet complain subtley about having children and how much of a struggle it is, how expensive it is, how they get no sleep, no free time etc.

Then, they usually realise they can't be seen to complain about having children and finish their complaints by saying "But its the best thing I ever did." This part always feels like the least genuine bit and everything before feels like the truth.

Furthermore, one of my best friends has a child and spoke candidly about it, saying "I love him to bits but wish I hadn't have had a kid."

Source: Im a teacher who deals with kids and parents daily.

TheHawk17 , Ksenia Chernaya Report

Glitterati
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Two things can be true at once. You can love your child fiercely but also wish they’d sleep past 5am 😄

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#17

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Because all the "best" kid moments to me are not worth losing the ability for my husband and I to spontaneously take off a random Wednesday from our jobs, have some THC, and enjoy the 1200$ Xbox bundle we just got.

Which is what we did today. No ragrets.

GirlNamedTex , cottonbro Report

Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
Community Member
1 month ago

* happy playstation noises *

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#18

World's overpopulated, would rather rescue a kid from the system

dw87190 Report

Suzanne Tilson
Community Member
1 month ago

Those poor souls need so much love, and the government wants to add to their ranks instead of letting same sex couples have them

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#19

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers - history of severe life altering mental health issues I would NEVER wish to risk passing on (bi-polar, clinical depression, psychosis etc) my Mother and Grandmother on her side. Somehow I seem to have turned out okay but it meant I had a really difficult upbringing, but I would hate to go through what she does and don't want to risk passing it on.

- Lack of freedom / spontaneity. My fiancé and I are like adult children, we're in our 30's and love to play computer games, go out for random ice cream at 11pm, last minute overseas holidays, go out for meals etc whenever we want, I do not want to give that up. A holiday with a child sounds like a chore to me too. Every outing has to be calculated and organised, a simple trip to the store is now a huge chore and time consuming.

- Loss of self, I don't want to become "Mummy" and nothing else. (Not saying that's what happens to everyone, but I feel some people get lost in their kids and lose all sense of themselves as their world now revolves around their children, which is understandable).

- Cost. I do not want to struggle financially, I absolutely cannot afford children and I think it is selfish to have them when you can't provide for them appropriately. Unlike some childfree people, I don't want to put all my focus into my career, I have an average job, it pays enough, without kids I am able to have a comfortable life but I also LOVE my job and am happy. If I had kids we would have to change careers or get second jobs, which I am not willing to do.

- No experience with kids, I don't know what to do with them our how to talk to them. (Please note, I don't hate kids at all, I just don't want any am and awkward with them) I have zero first cousins, my brother is also child free so no nieces or nephews, I've always been awkward around kids even as a kid, and knew from quite a young age parenthood wasn't for me. I do not feel like I have a maternal instinct at all. I do not get giddy seeing babies, but show me a puppy and i'll be melting!

- Lack of sleep, stress. I want a peaceful and somewhat simple life. I enjoy quiet, I enjoy alone time, I enjoy my sleep. Children to not align with that whatsoever.

- Affect on relationship. Children can ruin relationships, it's not their fault but they do. Lack of intimacy, lack of quality time, financial issues causing problems etc. This is something people can work through, but I don't want to risk putting a strain on my relationship as things are perfect for us as they are.

- Risk of severe disability. I absolutely am not willing to look after a severely disabled child for the rest of my life. I have seen how absolutely broken some of these parents are. I saw 2 people yesterday who were clearly husband and wife in their 70's pushing around what appeared to be their profoundly disabled 40ish year old son. That is not the life I am willing to have, but I also don't want to put myself in a position to have to give a child up for adoption.

Sserenityy , Kelly Sikkema Report

Glitterati
Community Member
1 month ago

Very valid points ☝️

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#20

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I have tokophobia (extreme fear of pregnancy).

Tiniweenydani Report

I’ve Seen Things
Community Member
1 month ago

Cannot upvote this enough! Catholic all girls school run by nuns, where it was rammed home that the worst thing that can happen to you was teenage pregnancy. Classmates also amplified this “fear” and judgement. For some of us, this fear stuck for life not just the school years. I’ve been explaining/citing tokophobia for decades.

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#21

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Honestly, TikTok etc..

I can raise a kid how I think right but there’s only so much you can shield them from the internet and I’m scared of what the future holds with celebrity/influencer brainwashing culture.
I feel like my generation (early 90’s) was the last generation that was largely safe from this..

AtasHRC , McKaela Taylor Report

Random Panda
Community Member
1 month ago

I feel this so much. I want kids, but this is something that really worries me about how I'm going to raise them. The Internet is as harmful as it is useful.

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#22

I find them annoying.

Also I have no paternal instinct, don't have the temperament to be a good parent, and I'm poor.

It would be unfair to any child to have me imposed on them as a parent.

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Bellala
Community Member
1 month ago

Most kids are pretty annoying tbh...

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#23

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Those kids who have parents that are perfectly normal but still somehow act like mini serial killers.

mikmikthegreat , EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA Report

Well-Dressed Wolf
Community Member
1 month ago

Children are born without ethics and morals pre-installed. Of course they’re tiny sociopaths until their parents teach them better… and sometimes, not even normal/good parents can teach them better because the kids don’t WANT to learn society’s rules and conform to them.

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#24

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers my mental health and financial situation. i wouldn’t want to raise a kid the same way i was raised.

badasslexxc , Ron Lach Report

🦋vall🦋シ︎
Community Member
1 month ago

This!

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#25

It costs too much. The average birth costs like 40k without complications. Decent daycare near me is $1400 a month. That alone is crippling.

It's bad for the environment and I question the morality of putting my children through the potential climate wars and/or apocalypse.

Also, sometimes despite your best efforts and doing everything correctly, your kids turn out to be a**holes.

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Panda Kicki
Community Member
1 month ago

The cost issue is really dependent on where you live. We have free maternal care and delivery in Sweden and the max cost of daycare is about 150 dollars for the first kid and cheaper for siblings. (Sweden)

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#26

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I’ve been clinically depressed for almost a decade. Post partum depression is one of the things that terrifies me about the prospect of having kids. Also I am in no way mentally stable enough to be a parent.

LillFluffPotato , Sarah Chai Report

Glitterati
Community Member
1 month ago

Pregnancy and childbirth gave me severe ptsd. I had PPD and anxiety. I can’t have any more children due to the impact on my mental health. The struggle is real. I still wouldn’t change a thing as my child is the love of my life but if I had never known that love I wouldn’t miss it.

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#27

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Watching my sister's kid get kicked out of daycare for slamming a kids face into a table and hitting a teacher. he's 3, and the most difficult kid I've met.

ToeMahSick , Mick Haupt Report

CatGirl
Community Member
1 month ago

I don't know that I've ever hated something as much as I've hated the difficult kids I've taught. Just little animals.

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#28

I love my kids but they completely ruined my life and i don't advocate for anyone to have them

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YouKiddingMe
Community Member
1 month ago

How did they ruin it?

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#29

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers My neighbor has 7 of them. The only form of communication in that house is screaming. The teenage boy just screamed in the middle of my typing this. Kid is absolute s***e at whatever game he's trying to play. My work meetings are constantly interrupted by his whiny cursing/crying sessions.

QuackWaddleflow , Anna Shvets Report

CatGirl
Community Member
1 month ago

God, that sounds awful. I'd try to live somewhere else.

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#30

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Pregnancy.
I’ve always been terrified of pregnancy, but I thought I’d feel more comfortable with it as I got older.
Nope. I’m 34 and the thought of being pregnant still freaks me out to no end. I’d love to adopt, but I don’t think I ever want to be pregnant.

Ilovethecolourred , Cparks Report

Marianne
Community Member
1 month ago

Adoption is so important! Pregnancy is not necessary to be a loving parent!

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