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While scrolling through your news feed, there is a high chance of stumbling upon a picture of your friends eagerly waiting for their third child, and your former going-out bestie posting a double picture from her recent ultrasound. And whether you have children or you are still doubting if this is the right choice for you, there are people who have taken the choice of not having any kids. The little bundles of joy bringing light to their parents' everyday life sound like a nightmare for some, and what other more convenient way can we find out everyone’s opinion if not from the internet?

This time, Reddit’s well-seasoned community of 32.3M people of AskReddit fired out a question that many people probably find themselves thinking: “To those who NEVER want to have a child, what are your reasons?“ Below you can read a wide selection of answers and we are dying to know what you think.

More info: Reddit

#2

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I don't want kids.

There's literally no other reason.

KirinG , Hannah Olinger Report

#3

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I love my life too much. I hate mess and noise. I love travelling whenever i like. I love going for trips and meals out with my husband. I love being able to do what i want whenever i want. I dont want to spend my days listening to crying, arguing, whining, doing the school run in the rain and shopping for food. The planet has plenty of humans and we have done a great job of wrecking the planet and treat animal so cruelly - i dont want to add to that problem.

CurvePuzzleheaded361 , Kory Twaites Report

#4

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Imo, I should justify why I want kids instead of finding reasons why I don't want them.

In my case, I don't have a reason to want them.

Grapezard , Edgar Chaparro Report

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lith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this! having children is such a huge HUGE thing, this will prob get some ppl mad but imo too many ppl have kids for the "wrong" reasons, by that i mean things like: they want to continue their legacy, they think they're cute, its expected, the one ive heard that i find the most frustrating is "i want to have that bond withy partner", i know this is just my opinion but i think ppl should have kids when they are ready to fully commit to caring and nurturing another human being, thats what should matter imo. also i feel like its concerning how many ppl would give others a hard time for not wanting children? its a massive responsibility & if someone says no to that i think thats showing they know whether thats something they can fully commit to & that should be a gooD thing. anyways nothing against em but ive never wanted kids lmao.

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#5

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I have never seen a person with children and thought to myself "i want that life"

kn8ife , Unknown Report

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#6

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It As the eldest sibling in my family, I’ve already lived out my maternal dreams.

Mental and chronic illness runs in my family and I can’t risk passing it along.

I don’t want to put my body through pregnancy.

It’s a lot of responsibility and I rather live for myself and all the other things I rather do in the world.

overthinkingdreamerx , Unknown Report

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*me*
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly I’d rather go snorkeling in the Bahamas than watch curious George all day

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#7

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It This world is stupid, corrupt, full of a**holes. Why would I want to bring anyone into this mess?

Western-Monk-8551 , Antoine GIRET Report

#8

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I was born this way. Have just never desired children. No particular reason.

tennesseewaltz , Andrik Langfield Report

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SBW71
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here. Knew at the age of 14 I didn't want any. I love kids and being around them....as long as they are not mine and I can give them back!

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#9

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I'm too mentally unstable to provide a quality life for any potential kids

guutarajouzu , Zachary Kadolph Report

#10

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I don’t have the patience to deal with them

zion100799 , Ross Sokolovski Report

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*me*
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same they’re just so needy and dirty and annoying and they require lots of effort and I’m very impatient

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#12

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It To sum it up:

- I like having my time and money to myself. Fancy sitting in bed late, drinking beer and ordering takeout? I can do that. Going out with friends at the drop of a hat with no worries? That too.

- My mental & physical health. Some issues are genetic in my family and I'd never wish that upon a child.

- This frankly isn't a world that I'd like to bring anybody into.

- I'm frankly quite selfish (I'd never, ever neglect a child however). I'd prefer the new clothes and games that I bought recently to a nappy / diaper bill.

I've just become an uncle so I totally understand how people can want a child, it's just mot for me personally.

Brainwrongs_ , Unknown Report

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Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately time is not yours anymore when you have kids and that's what I'm also thinking

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#14

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Bro I can barely handle a full-time job and taking care of a cat. I do not have the time, money, patience, or desire to raise a kid. I want to live my life, not be weighed down with a responsibility I don't want and wouldn't be beneficial for me. I like having the freedom to not have to deal with all that.

TheSorge , Nancy Sims Report

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#15

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It You need a good reason to have a child. You don’t need one to not have one, just as you don’t need a reason not to have a f****** giraffe.

BobAteMyShoes , Marina Abrosimova Report

#16

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Your vagina getting ripped during childbirth, 9 months in hell (pregnancy) but then childbirth and pregnancy arent even the hardest parts of parenthood. Staying up at night, getting little to to rest, changing smelly diapers, post-partum depression, physical and mental exhaustion, the financial strain of having a child, the unavoidable health damages of pregnancy. The list goes on.. seriously, what is there to like?!

grim_bonecollector , Rob Rhyne Report

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Brian Michael
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will stress first that everyone can and should choose their own path and either path is a fine choice for each individual, if you don't write that first you get yelled at in comments! That being said I was anti baby but my wife and I had an oops baby. She is 1 right now and it hurts and I mean physically hurts when we aren't near her. The love of a child is so unconditional it's scary and something you will only want to protect. I will say when people who don't want kids state why they love not having kids and say why would I want to bring one in? Because if I didn't than she would not get a chance to love life as much as all you say you do! I want her to have the chance to enjoy life with all its ups and downs, that's the thing I enjoy the most.

mushroomkrb avatar
Mushroomlover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s not the case for all pregnancies though. Both of mine were great, babies flew right out and my vagina didn’t tear or get cut at all. Walked out of the hospital wearing my clothes and still rock a bikini 12 years after the last one! I have zero health damages and only a few stretch marks on the tops of my thighs! I know my situation isn’t the norm but just wanted people to know that they aren’t all bad!

nhaundar avatar
Nhaundar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You never know what happens to yourself if you birth a child. It can go as 'smooth' as you had it, but there is nor guarantee, and surley there is no way back.

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Zedrapazia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly my thoughts! I have an extreme phobia of getting pregnant, a fetus is a mere parasite to me, and I'd never in a million years would let one make my body and life it's home.

valkyrie-of-shadows avatar
Hayley Futter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here, I actually get grossed out seeing bare really pregnant bellies as well. Like it legitimately grosses and stresses me out.

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Lolabean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a 5 week old baby. I hated every second of pregnancy, I was sick the whole 9 months and had severe hip & pelvic pain so I could barely walk. I've been left with sciatica too. I had third degree tearing requiring many stitches and lost just under 2 litres of blood. I would still do it again as for ME the end result is worth it. But not everyone feels that way and I totally get that. I've always known I wanted to be a mum, and there are plenty of people out there that have always known they don't. No one should be judged for their choices. It's much better that people that don't want kids don't have them. They'll resent that child and that's no life for either of them.

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here it is. Why would I wreck my body just to have a huge expense that actually gives me zero gain? I’m way way more important to myself than that.

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Jack Urquhart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and the screaming. The endless screaming. It drives me nuts in the grocery store, and why would I want that in my HOME?

maraadams avatar
stijn_vlas avatar
elStiJneriNO
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well why do anything that's not pleasurable? because most good things don't come free in life

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Connie R.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess you will never know...and there's no way I can possibly explain it to you. I only have one child but I can tell you I'm so happy I had her. She's all grown up now with a family of her own but I will always love her...unconditionally! We are all entitled to live our own lives as we choose. I'm just so glad I decided to add another life into mine.

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lenka
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had two children. One of which was a traumatic birth which has left me with life long health complications. This is actually quite common though rarely discussed in public spaces. The risks and sacrifices made by women to carry and birth a child are very real. You are absolutely entitled to have your opinion, but it did not address any of the matters raised in the post other than to say you are glad you created a life. And honestly, good for you! I am glad I created a life too. But I am also going to be honest and say it has been a challenge, physically and emotionally, and people who choose not to have children, for whatever reason, have exercised a valid choice.

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Minha Khan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Y’all really sound like jerks now. Imagine a kid scrolling through this and seeing that (according to the mind of the child on the internet) the entire world doesn’t want them

giulia_3 avatar
Giulia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is my number 1 reason and every time i tell someone else they act like i'm over exaggerating...

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Mickie Shea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The future when they leave home. Suffer with your grandkids. JHOld your hand as you pass on.It's called the cycle of life.

marknliz avatar
Mark Hamilton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We were shown a very graphic little movie of a live childbirth as part of our sex education in h.s. My legs snapped shut. liz

laana-aladan avatar
Laana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jeez! It is not for everyone like this and sometimes you have just one or not single thing mentioned here. Let’s just collect all of the worst things you heard along the way that suit your opinion. I understand others that said a grownup comment in this post,I respect and understand them,but this is just... stupid!

kimbo650 avatar
SF Angel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK. Everyone does not experience the horror movie described above (I know, I have 4 kids). However, I respect everyones reproductive choices without commentary, please do the same for the rest of us

lyndsayn17 avatar
Winx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't forget the pressure of deciding when to return to work

lchaney36 avatar
Linda H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like everyone thinks having children is only and all what they've heard from comedians and sit coms. There is a whole other side to parenting that is sweet and melts any frustration away.

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Aroha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For a person who wants to be a parent, yes, the nice moments make it worth it. But for example I don't want the nice moments either. No amount of "I love you mommy" would make up for the bad stuff, because I don't want any of it.

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Lazy leopard
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My interpretation is that is one source of meaning, in the sense of Frankl's logotherapy. Children can give you unconditional love, and you can give children unconditional love. Love is a key source of meaning according to Frank. And you are willing to undergo quite a bit of (unavoidable) suffering for what gives you meaning in life. This perhaps is something which is relevant for those who do not want to have children because of the suffering raising a child introduces: Yes, that is an inseparable aspect of it all, but it can't answer the question as it misses the whole point of meaning. If all you want to do is minimize inconvenience and pain in life, you are at considerable risk of living an unfulfilled life and quite a few mental health issues that go with it. That doesn't mean that children are a sufficient or necessary condition for self-actualization or transcendence. They aren't the only potential source of meaning, and child neglect is a real and horrible thing.

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Liam Walsh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not all children can or do give unconditional love. That gets forgotten. Some can't due to mental health conditions and others grow up, and no matter how good the parent, they're simply not loving people. Humans are a very mixed bag and you never know what you're going to get. A friend of mine has three children and one is simply an awful human being. The upbringing wasn't any different. The parents are the same. This presumption that you'll get a loving child... it isn't always the case.

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KT
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol it's good you don't have any kids, wouldn't want another basket case like this one running around

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Gosiaatje
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a mom I can affirm that pregnancy (it's not a hell at all, it's a common myth though) and childbrith are the easy part. The hell starts when the baby is there...

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V33333P
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No worries, yes. Hysterectomy is when you remove either the entire female reproductive system or leave the ovaries but take out the uterus, tubes, etc. So I literally can't get pregnant :)

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Meghan Hirt-Gehr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Besides being pregnant for 9 months which was great from start to finish, I have literally never experienced any of those issues. Not one. But many people do and so I can understand the concerns but I am an example of how you can also have nothing to worry about. Challenge me on any of the things.

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Cupcake168
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is in many points the most stupid part of this thread.

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Maddie Star ⭐
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I love my husband with everything I have he is my world my everything, and our son, the feeling I have for him, I love him more than anyone. he is ours and we are his.

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#17

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I understand the immense responsibility & sacrifice they are and choose instead to work on myself and continue to nurture my own experiences and growth through the one life I have.

_soch , Tim van der Kuip Report

#18

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It ... I can barely take care of a cat. How do you think I would do with a child?

TipsyNate , kim smith Report

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Nicole
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish more people were this self-aware before they had kids.

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#19

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I don’t want to go through birth, I don’t like the baby stage, children and toddlers are fun and can be adorable but not 24/7, I like money and the piece of mind that I won’t do anything to screw up their lives, everyone I have said I don’t want kids to will say I told you so

And finally I’m not responsible or mature enough.

Ghostofmeow , Unknown Report

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#20

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Since I am the oldest I call my experience “the free trial” and to make things short I don’t like it

EmergencyUnhappy7454 , Shawnee D Report

#21

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Our society is structured so that nearly everyone but the wealthy are living hand to mouth. I feel no security in my life and find life stressful. I can't imagine how bad that would be if I had to worry about another soul.

Harvey1977 , Kinshuk Sunil Report

#22

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Mental health - I have extreme anxiety and ADHD. I don’t want to have a kid and potentially put them through what I go through.

They’re expensive.

Pregnancy is terrifying to me. Never want to try it.

Spite. Got tired real quick always being told I’d be a great mother, even when I announced that I don’t like kids and never want any.

Vinekyrie , Joice Kelly Report

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Mavis Garland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to hear young people being hounded to have children. I Loved the joke about a young woman hearing "You're next" whenever she was at a wedding - so she began saying the same thing to people when she attended a funeral.

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#23

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I would make a terrible dad, great uncle but a terrible dad.

RagePandazXD , Unknown Report

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Zoe's Mom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great Aunt here: I love being an aunt. Take them out, feed them, spoil them then take them home. My reasoning for not wanting children is that I was afraid that I would turn out to be my mother and that's not good. Plus, I didn't want to put my life on hold. I have my modest home, small savings and a comfortable life with my dog Zoe.

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#24

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Kids are expensive

I rather spend money on travel than children

I want to retire early

I only like children in small doses

I rather do drugs at Burning Man than raise a child. I don't want to be that guy who tries to do both.

There is no decent return policy on kids.

I really like my me-time.

Every time I see people with kids, I have an overwhelming feeling of dread.

I find people who have kids a little boring, to be honest. Not always, but I know that their rockstar days are now behind them.

I mean, I'm happy for people who want to have kids. I've also had friends confide in me that they wish the hadn't have had kids. This should be a "f*** yes, or no" decision.

No-Psychology1751 , Upgraded Points Report

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SBW71
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree 100%. Seems once your friends have kids you no longer have anything in common anymore with them and the friendship slowly dies

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#25

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It They're loud, expensive, annoying, boring, time consuming and needy.

Instar5 , Leonid Mamchenkov Report

#26

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It Too mentally ill from childhood trauma and have various auto immune diseases. Wouldn’t be fair to have a child when I’m not completely present for them.Love kids but not for me.

sheakat1997 , Thought Catalog Report

#27

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It As a male who never wanted a kid and now has one, I can say I still don't want one.

Don't get me wrong. My buddy is now my whole world and I would do anything for him. But i never wanted a kid and now I definitely wish I never had one.

All my free time I had is gone. I don't really care about the money. He can have it all and all my crap I collect too. He can have it. I just want my time back. Or some time. Any time. I can't remember the last time I've a whole movie from beginning to end. I can't remember the last time I've just laid around listening to music.

And when i do get time away from him I catch up on stuff that hasnt gotten done and I really dont enjoy the time. There's no such thing as me time anymore.

Cant wait until hes out of the house. Just 16 more years to go.

westbee , Unknown Report

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it gets better. You're talking about a friggin TWO year old. My kids are early to late teens, and I get me time now all the time. Or you can make you time about you two time. Get him interested in music. Get him to watch a movie with you. My kids are huge music and movie buffs now. Because that's what I did with them.

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#28

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I'd rather live my life without being weighed down by a huge financial burden. Plus most kids I know are little s***

ThatOneBuilderGuy , 401(K) 2012 Report

#29

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I simply refuse to put a child into this world as it is,
I know too much about how ugly it truly is.

Massive , Wikimedia Commons Report

#30

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I am selfish so I am not gonna sacrifice my time for them. I don't want to bring kids into this world if they can't be unconditionally loved.

the1992munchkin , StockSnap Report

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Leodavinci
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children do need that. It's unfortunate so many parents are incapable of giving it.

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#31

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It because i dont like children

i dont want to raise one for 18 years

id rather put that money into my dream car

Qwerteee8 , Wikipedia Report

#32

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It They s*** themselves and you have to change their diapers.

They’re expensive.

It’s the best thing you can do for the environment.

It’s a s**** world to raise a kid in. What if they were trans, disabled, gay, etc? I’d still love them but half the US population wants to deny them human rights.

They cry and b**** and require constant attention.

There’s so many reasons.

jh32488 , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Jhm Mke
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember as a young man that one of my grade school friends had an older brother who was cognitively disabled and needed lifelong support. Who would take care of his older brother, once his parents were not able to? It shaped me and I remember also hearing an interview about "The Population Explosion" a ~1970s book. All my life I worried about the risk of having a child who needed my help(for their entire life) and the risk of me dying and not being able to provide the necessary help? Also, how can the world we live in handle a constantly growing human population? The world population ~1970 was ~3.5 Billion and today the population is ~8 billion.... You do the math? https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/book-incited-worldwide-fear-overpopulation-180967499/

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#33

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It The world is overpopulated and I don't want to spend the time and money required to care for raising a child.

bender710 , Nemo_Jo Report

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Mickie Shea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, some space in the lower right corner just opened up. Hurry do it.

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#34

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It A friend told me once that I would probably be like the mom from Carrie and there's no f****** way I would condemn a child to such a miserable life.

Also, giving birth? F*** that

booksoverppl , Franco Seguer Report

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#35

Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It I guess I don’t want my child to have an illness of some kind (Down syndrome, autism). Is it wrong to say I don’t want to have a child live like that?

ReptileRuairi , Bob Brotchie Report

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