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Not Everyone Wants To Be A Parent And 35 People In This Online Group Get Brutally Honest About It
While scrolling through your news feed, there is a high chance of stumbling upon a picture of your friends eagerly waiting for their third child, and your former going-out bestie posting a double picture from her recent ultrasound. And whether you have children or you are still doubting if this is the right choice for you, there are people who have taken the choice of not having any kids. The little bundles of joy bringing light to their parents' everyday life sound like a nightmare for some, and what other more convenient way can we find out everyone’s opinion if not from the internet?
This time, Reddit’s well-seasoned community of 32.3M people of AskReddit fired out a question that many people probably find themselves thinking: “To those who NEVER want to have a child, what are your reasons?“ Below you can read a wide selection of answers and we are dying to know what you think.
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I enjoy money and silence
I miss having a tidy house. Thier clutter drives me crazy 😅
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If people were truly honest - I bet a ton of people would wind back the clock if they could and not have kids.
As a parent who wasnt ever sure they wanted kids, and as someone who also loves money and silence (and boy do I miss silence - I mean WAY more than I miss money), I dont think this is true. I think most parents have, at some stage in thier parenting journey, wondered "what the actual f#@$% have I done?" and I suspect most of them sometimes daydream about the life they might have had without children (I know I do. lol). But I dont think "a ton of them" would EVER wind back the clock and not have their children. After the one millionth "look at me!" my daughter finally managed a freestanding hand stand today and I shared in her triumph. At the end of a long and exhausting (and very loud) day my son climbed into my lap and said "Mummy, your hugs make my heart happy" and I would never ever want to remove those experiences from my life.
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My kids make noise. Lots of it. Singing and laughing and pretending is noisy. I desperately miss silence but I would never take thier joy away.
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I saw a meme that cracked me up the other day. "My husband and I decided we do not want kids. We will be sitting them down to tell them tonight."
They're loud, messy and expensive. And when they grow up they blame you for everything wrong in their life while still holding their hand out. Why would anyone want to sign up for that?
I value the silence and my sanity more than anything else. After living with my parents and little brother for a few years, I am glad to be in a kid free place. It was mainly that I have anxiety and sensitivity to screaming and my little brother couldn't understand that. He came into my room while I was napping and would scream. I am so glad I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Sitting in my big, quiet house laughing at people with a really shallow view of what having children is like.
Oh how wish the couple who live directly behind me had used birth control. Between their 2 young kids, a swimming pool, and parties almost every weekend…which usually includes the children of the adults, I can hear them inside my house with the doors and windows closed. And their house isn’t even that close to mine, and includes a privacy fence around their yard. But every time I hear a little girl shrieking or kids yelling Marco Polo…I want to put a 4-Sale sign in my yard.
I have money, a child and silence a lot of the time, this makes no sense.
Eh. I two children, no silence and less money than if I had no children so it makes perfect sense to me.
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I don't want kids.
There's literally no other reason.
I love my life too much. I hate mess and noise. I love travelling whenever i like. I love going for trips and meals out with my husband. I love being able to do what i want whenever i want. I dont want to spend my days listening to crying, arguing, whining, doing the school run in the rain and shopping for food. The planet has plenty of humans and we have done a great job of wrecking the planet and treat animal so cruelly - i dont want to add to that problem.
Imo, I should justify why I want kids instead of finding reasons why I don't want them.
In my case, I don't have a reason to want them.
this! having children is such a huge HUGE thing, this will prob get some ppl mad but imo too many ppl have kids for the "wrong" reasons, by that i mean things like: they want to continue their legacy, they think they're cute, its expected, the one ive heard that i find the most frustrating is "i want to have that bond withy partner", i know this is just my opinion but i think ppl should have kids when they are ready to fully commit to caring and nurturing another human being, thats what should matter imo. also i feel like its concerning how many ppl would give others a hard time for not wanting children? its a massive responsibility & if someone says no to that i think thats showing they know whether thats something they can fully commit to & that should be a gooD thing. anyways nothing against em but ive never wanted kids lmao.
I have never seen a person with children and thought to myself "i want that life"
As the eldest sibling in my family, I’ve already lived out my maternal dreams.
Mental and chronic illness runs in my family and I can’t risk passing it along.
I don’t want to put my body through pregnancy.
It’s a lot of responsibility and I rather live for myself and all the other things I rather do in the world.
This world is stupid, corrupt, full of a**holes. Why would I want to bring anyone into this mess?
I was born this way. Have just never desired children. No particular reason.
I'm too mentally unstable to provide a quality life for any potential kids
I love peace and quiet.
To sum it up:
- I like having my time and money to myself. Fancy sitting in bed late, drinking beer and ordering takeout? I can do that. Going out with friends at the drop of a hat with no worries? That too.
- My mental & physical health. Some issues are genetic in my family and I'd never wish that upon a child.
- This frankly isn't a world that I'd like to bring anybody into.
- I'm frankly quite selfish (I'd never, ever neglect a child however). I'd prefer the new clothes and games that I bought recently to a nappy / diaper bill.
I've just become an uncle so I totally understand how people can want a child, it's just mot for me personally.
Bro I can barely handle a full-time job and taking care of a cat. I do not have the time, money, patience, or desire to raise a kid. I want to live my life, not be weighed down with a responsibility I don't want and wouldn't be beneficial for me. I like having the freedom to not have to deal with all that.
You need a good reason to have a child. You don’t need one to not have one, just as you don’t need a reason not to have a f****** giraffe.
Your vagina getting ripped during childbirth, 9 months in hell (pregnancy) but then childbirth and pregnancy arent even the hardest parts of parenthood. Staying up at night, getting little to to rest, changing smelly diapers, post-partum depression, physical and mental exhaustion, the financial strain of having a child, the unavoidable health damages of pregnancy. The list goes on.. seriously, what is there to like?!
I understand the immense responsibility & sacrifice they are and choose instead to work on myself and continue to nurture my own experiences and growth through the one life I have.
... I can barely take care of a cat. How do you think I would do with a child?
I don’t want to go through birth, I don’t like the baby stage, children and toddlers are fun and can be adorable but not 24/7, I like money and the piece of mind that I won’t do anything to screw up their lives, everyone I have said I don’t want kids to will say I told you so
And finally I’m not responsible or mature enough.
Since I am the oldest I call my experience “the free trial” and to make things short I don’t like it
Our society is structured so that nearly everyone but the wealthy are living hand to mouth. I feel no security in my life and find life stressful. I can't imagine how bad that would be if I had to worry about another soul.
Mental health - I have extreme anxiety and ADHD. I don’t want to have a kid and potentially put them through what I go through.
They’re expensive.
Pregnancy is terrifying to me. Never want to try it.
Spite. Got tired real quick always being told I’d be a great mother, even when I announced that I don’t like kids and never want any.
I hate to hear young people being hounded to have children. I Loved the joke about a young woman hearing "You're next" whenever she was at a wedding - so she began saying the same thing to people when she attended a funeral.
I would make a terrible dad, great uncle but a terrible dad.
Great Aunt here: I love being an aunt. Take them out, feed them, spoil them then take them home. My reasoning for not wanting children is that I was afraid that I would turn out to be my mother and that's not good. Plus, I didn't want to put my life on hold. I have my modest home, small savings and a comfortable life with my dog Zoe.
Kids are expensive
I rather spend money on travel than children
I want to retire early
I only like children in small doses
I rather do drugs at Burning Man than raise a child. I don't want to be that guy who tries to do both.
There is no decent return policy on kids.
I really like my me-time.
Every time I see people with kids, I have an overwhelming feeling of dread.
I find people who have kids a little boring, to be honest. Not always, but I know that their rockstar days are now behind them.
I mean, I'm happy for people who want to have kids. I've also had friends confide in me that they wish the hadn't have had kids. This should be a "f*** yes, or no" decision.
They're loud, expensive, annoying, boring, time consuming and needy.
Too mentally ill from childhood trauma and have various auto immune diseases. Wouldn’t be fair to have a child when I’m not completely present for them.Love kids but not for me.
As a male who never wanted a kid and now has one, I can say I still don't want one.
Don't get me wrong. My buddy is now my whole world and I would do anything for him. But i never wanted a kid and now I definitely wish I never had one.
All my free time I had is gone. I don't really care about the money. He can have it all and all my crap I collect too. He can have it. I just want my time back. Or some time. Any time. I can't remember the last time I've a whole movie from beginning to end. I can't remember the last time I've just laid around listening to music.
And when i do get time away from him I catch up on stuff that hasnt gotten done and I really dont enjoy the time. There's no such thing as me time anymore.
Cant wait until hes out of the house. Just 16 more years to go.
it gets better. You're talking about a friggin TWO year old. My kids are early to late teens, and I get me time now all the time. Or you can make you time about you two time. Get him interested in music. Get him to watch a movie with you. My kids are huge music and movie buffs now. Because that's what I did with them.
I'd rather live my life without being weighed down by a huge financial burden. Plus most kids I know are little s***
I simply refuse to put a child into this world as it is,
I know too much about how ugly it truly is.
I am selfish so I am not gonna sacrifice my time for them. I don't want to bring kids into this world if they can't be unconditionally loved.
Children do need that. It's unfortunate so many parents are incapable of giving it.
because i dont like children
i dont want to raise one for 18 years
id rather put that money into my dream car
They s*** themselves and you have to change their diapers.
They’re expensive.
It’s the best thing you can do for the environment.
It’s a s**** world to raise a kid in. What if they were trans, disabled, gay, etc? I’d still love them but half the US population wants to deny them human rights.
They cry and b**** and require constant attention.
There’s so many reasons.
I remember as a young man that one of my grade school friends had an older brother who was cognitively disabled and needed lifelong support. Who would take care of his older brother, once his parents were not able to? It shaped me and I remember also hearing an interview about "The Population Explosion" a ~1970s book. All my life I worried about the risk of having a child who needed my help(for their entire life) and the risk of me dying and not being able to provide the necessary help? Also, how can the world we live in handle a constantly growing human population? The world population ~1970 was ~3.5 Billion and today the population is ~8 billion.... You do the math? https://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/book-incited-worldwide-fear-overpopulation-180967499/
The world is overpopulated and I don't want to spend the time and money required to care for raising a child.
Wait, some space in the lower right corner just opened up. Hurry do it.
A friend told me once that I would probably be like the mom from Carrie and there's no f****** way I would condemn a child to such a miserable life.
Also, giving birth? F*** that
I guess I don’t want my child to have an illness of some kind (Down syndrome, autism). Is it wrong to say I don’t want to have a child live like that?
Note: this post originally had 37 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
Why should I give you a reason? This has been my response when being asked this question.
I wish I'd thought of that about 30 years ago. I was after 3 miscarriages and I was still asked when would I have kids. Well, NEVER, thanks. *sigh* In retrospect? I have faith it worked out for the best for me and my other loved ones.
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most the answers here are just proof that these people have thought about it and a lot of them actually CARE about how them having a child would affect said child (ex. mental health, genetics, financial responsibility, COMMITMENT) these are things that should be given more praise than they get imo especially when so many ppl make others feel weird for not wanting a kid
Why do you need to hear excuses? I don't want kids. Never did. I don't owe anyone a reason for that.
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I finally turned 50 and people have stopped asking when I'm going to have kids. I am all of these reasons.
I was 6. My mom gave birth to my sister when I was 6 (mom was 38). I thought I was automatically just going to have a kid and I cried about it. I didn't want kids and I knew it that young. I had a reason to tell when I was older to get people to stop pestering me. Epilepsy is genetic in my family, I have it, I don't want to pass it on (maternal grandfather, mom, me, cousin, cousin's son).
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I'm too selfish to have children. I like spending money on myself and would be miserable if I had to suddenly put all that money towards someone else...and all my time and attention. Plus, there are enough people in this world...enough kids in the system. Also, I'd never forgive myself if I passed on my depression and anxiety to my kid
Could we stop this lunacy? People have reasons to have kids and people have reasons to not have them. Let's not make this into some kind of cult. Whatever your choice is, it's OK. No need to give reasons or justifications and no reason to blame people for having or not having them. Last time I looked there's absolutely no reason for anyone to justify themselves.
Having kids is still the norm. Not wanting them is seen as weird, wrong, bad and people always ask for justification. It’s good to spend a lot of attention to the option to not have children, so it becomes normal and people stop blaming people or shaming them for not having them.
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1. We're gay - and the world still bullies kids with two Dad's. Sad, but my priority is the child, not my compulsion to be a father. 2. I'm barely mature enough to look after myself, let alone having a dependant. FYI, I'm nearly 40. 3. Money always feels tight, the cost of kids is scary. 4. Whenever I hear them scream (happy or sad) I want to rip their larynx out. 5. As unattractive as it is, I like looking after number one - drink more than I should, go to a restaurant with no planning, enjoy holidays that I want to go on... living life as I please. 6. Really not sure I want to bring them into this world...
No one who doesn't want to be a parent should have to be one. The only answer needed for why someone does not want a child (besides "mind your f-ing business") is "because."
I have 3 adult children and I wanted them. What I hate is people who have kids and didn't want any, they have them for their partner and it doesn't work. Far too much child abuse in the world by people who didn't want kids, ended up with one and cannot handle it. I never push my kids to have children, it is totally up to them and their partner, not me. We need people who don't want children, far too many children born and not wanted as it is.
Because I look at my life, and my budget, and mental and physical health, and ask is there room for a child here? And there's not. It's not just being selfish, though I am, or enjoying my me-time, though I do. I do not have the capacity, emotionally, physically, or financially, to take responsibility for another person. If you aren't committed, and aren't confidant you can do it well, don't make a baby.
My wife gets fed up of people asking her why she doesn't want kids (funnily enough, I NEVER get asked this as a man). Her response is the same every time: "for a reason." End of conversation.
hey wilf, why don't you want kids? maybe you would like it if somebody asked so feel free to answer if you want.
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I never wanted kids, and now at 68, I don't regret for a second never having them. Of course, at this stage of my life, I'd probably only see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway. ;-)
You can't try to have kids. There is no way back. So it's totally fine to just don't. I'm tired of people telling me you will change your mind if you have kids... Nahhaaa. What if not, huh? Will you take responsibility? I don't think so.
I have heard so many people say to me that it's different when their yours. Yes. What if I do have a child and it turns out not to be different? You can't put them back.
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I had my child over twenty years ago but I wouldn't choose to have children now - nothing to do with the pandemic. For the last five years or so the world has been getting more and more angry. Instead of acceptance there is growing intolerance and so many people display that at complete strangers.
Yeah. I have young children and this is one of my big concerns. That and climate change. I didnt think about it before I had them, but my increasing awareness of the world around me and the legacy they are being left with makes me very concerned for thier physical and emotional futures.
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I'm really impressed by these responses, but they also, strangely, make me proud that I had the courage to choose to have kids. It has been a tough road (3 kids, 2x Asperger's, 2x ADHD among that) but I'm proud and grateful I took it - but I'm also proud of and grateful for the people who consciously choose not to.
If you WANT kids, you should have many reasons; not wanting to breed is no-one's business. No-one's getting hurt.
I hate how people with kids always ask people without kids "why don't you have kids?". Especially if you're a woman, many think you're obligated to. Like a few of these point out, the better question is "Why did you have kids?"
i don't think most parents will mind answering that question.
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I like kids, but I am so scared of the idea of giving birth, and I decided that I never want to. I would rather adopt kids who need a family.
I always wanted to adopt, however my husband struggled with the idea. we have one amazing son. But I can agree, being pregnant and giving birth are not fun, however as soon as you hold your baby, its all forgotten. Very strange and seral really. PS, I had a horrible pregnancy and birth. nearly killed both of us. HOWEVER, I would have done it a million times over, my son is the best thing I have ever done. I hope to foster in the future :)
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I’m kind of on the fence on whether or not I want kids when I grow up. There’s just so much crap to go through, and it hurts, and money and stuff. I wanna travel too. But I think it might be fun to raise a kid. If I don’t have kids, I’m just gonna get a bird, or a dog, or both. I like pets
The good thing is that you have a good long time to make that decision. The only thing I can tell you (and this applies to getting married, too), is if you have ANY doubts at all, if there's even a hint of a doubt that you're doing the right thing, then DON'T. ...///... These decisions are yours and yours alone. Do not let anyone pressure you, don't do these things because people tell you you "should".
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What if.... It's not like you don't want children at all, but also not a desire you want so badly? Like... if I have kids - nice! If I don't - nice as well! I don't know, that's how I feel at the moment. My curious nature kind of makes me want to have them, but, although I'm 31, I still don't hurry. And I don't feel terrified at neither thought of having or not having children.
On one side of my fam, we are 19 cousins. Only 3 had kids, and all three were on drugs (addicts). The sober ones adopted their stepkids or just didn't have any. And, in retrospect, I'm not sad to see that DNA die out. My mom's fam is great, which was why I awnted kids, but as I couldn't have them (medical reason)? .... Yeah, the paternal-side cousins and I seemed to all reach the same conclusion: Don't take the chance we'll be like the parent we feared/hated/etc.
I find it odd that very few of them mentioned about how good it is to have your independence and freedom for all your life. That's what I love about not having kids.
that's because as a parent, your kid is dependent on you, not the other way. The parent is the independent one in the relation. Also that freedom is quite ok. Freedom gets limited a lot more by society in general than just by my kid. So pretending you have all the freedom you want because you don't have kids is also quite an exaggeration. it's more like 65% vs 60% freedom.
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I don't like giving reasons because it seems like a waste of breath to an answer to a question that should just be accepted, but if you need a reason, birth seems terrifying, I never want to go through that, my girlfriend doesn't want kids either so even if I changed my mind (which i wont) i want to respect that, kids are loud and messy, i want to be able to travel without worrying about kids, id have to be super super careful to make sure they don't get my cystic fibrosis passed on to them (and i cant deal with that stress), im worried they'll be as big of a jerk as I used to be/still kind of am to people i know irl, i won't be responsible enough to keep them alive, and i dont want them to have to go through really bad mental health issues like me because that seems unfair to me (they never asked to be born)
So another anti children article.Some people want kids,others dont,just get over it ffs
I don't have many regrets in life. But the biggest one is that I never had children. I'm way too old now, but in my younger days, gay men adopting/having children was only for the very rich and/or connected persons. But thanks to my little Sis, I got to borrow hers anytime I wanted. Now I'm borrowing her grandchildren. Children are my favorite people.
i'm a single-mum of a 17year old wonderful teenage boy who is in the middle of puberty. this is hardcore. but i was like him in this age.. so i can't judge him. if i could decide again i would prefer to be alone and have no kids. it is only because of the constant worries of his wellbeing and him doing the right things. this is exhausting.
Parenting is exhausting and puberty is hardcore. Wishing you and your son the best as you navigate these tumultous years and trusting that you will both come out the other end with a strong mutual adult bond that is more fulfilling xoxox
Load More Replies... In real life, I have NEVER seen kids/family presented as shown on TV commercials, sit coms and movies. When the show ends, everybody goes back to their real life. Baby sitting (which I quit doing after I was 16) showed me what having children is REALLY like. Doesn't matter how old or how many, life came to a screeching HALT when kids entered anyone's life. And I quit dating men who had custody of kids every other weekend (or less) -- even they didn't want to sit with their own kids, trying to toss them off on me. No. Nope. No Thanks. And I HATE it when baby dolls are still foisted off on little girls. They don't get it that a baby is 24/7, but the doll they throw into a box, closet or drawer. Reality bites!
No. I have never wanted kids. I never learned how to be a mother, much less a good one.There is a tremendous history of abuse on both sides. The one way to break that cycle is to not have a child. Although I would NEVER abuse a child, I'm sure my parents started out having no intention of doing that either, but they did. I have an amazing nephew who I love with all my heart. We are not technically related. I was the first one to hold him after his parents. But my friends understood about me and kids. I'll babysit and do for you/him anything you need. But only until his first birthday. After that age, frankly, I dont know what to do with them. How to relate to them, how to talk to them. How to play with them. So the next time I'll be alone with him is when he's 18 and I take him out for a beer. Actually it turned out he was 16 and we went to a golfing range. I admire my friends for their incredible commitment, sacrifice, and selflessness. He is an amazing man.
Well...for starters, it's a vagina. Not a clown car. (This is for those that appear to be trying to field their own baseball team...)
I propose "clown car" as a euphemism. As in "Stay out of my clown car!" or if not in the mood, "Sorry, I locked the keys in the clown car."
Load More Replies... I have four siblings, and once I turn eighteen I do NOT want that experience anymore.
I feel for you, I am a mum, BUT admit I struggle to imagine all children getting the needed one on one time and alone space. I don't understand how larger family's work. (but this could just be because I was 1 of 2 and I only have 1)
Load More Replies... Wife and are are pregnant with the first and already we are being asked when does #2 come, or that will be good if #2 is a boy/girl. #2? I don't even know if I will like #1, I never planned on having 1... 2 is out of the question
best change that thought on one, Saying that my husband struggled (it was planed) I do find some men can overthink parent hood (like my hubby) My advice, the first two years it will generally be a support roll to mum. Everything tends to revolve around mum being the primary parent. (that's if she is breast feeding and being the main nappy changer and the one mostly at home) at around the age of two loyalty will switch, as Men are big kids at heart and you will become their favourite play mate, but mum will be needed for bumps and scrapes. xxx remember to breath, put your wife first and buy yourself toys that you like to play with. (we are a lego family) A dads roll is supportive and playful. lastly, you will be awesome x
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I've always wondered if men or women comprise the largest group who do not want children, but do want to be in a long-term relationship, and yet eventually become parents as a compromise. As a man I always had the impression such a woman would be difficult to impossible to find.
There are plenty of women who don't want children, although I didn't fully realise it until I was in my mid thirties. If you had asked me at 29 I would have said I wanted them, but I had never really given it my full consideration. As soon as I started to think about it properly, I knew that I just didn't want that kind of responsibility.
Load More Replies... me not having a kid is the most responsible decision anyone in the history of this planet ever made
A lot of people saying you should have a reason to have kids. You don't need a reason to have a kid. You need commitment!
My husband and I both wanted to have kids, both of our pregnancies were planned, and now that both of our kids are grown, we can look back on the years with no regrets. But I also know exactly what you mean when you talk about money, time, etc., all of it! And I agree with everyone who says they don't want kids. If you don't want them, then you absolutely should not have them! The human race is just fine, and you don't have to have kids in order to benefit mankind. Having kids because you feel obliged to is a tragedy, so I'm pretty glad for this day and age.
I don't want kids. I've never wanted kids. I like my time and money. My parents were not good ones and I refuse to do that to someone else. I have genetic diseases which I refuse to pass on and make the likelihood of having a kid with severe genetic problems sky high. Plus now I'm 38, which also increases the risks. And yet, doctors still won't listen to me when I say I want my tubes tied, because "You might change your mind" NO. I. WONT.
I still don’t understand how children are a good thing. What do they bring to the equation that makes my life better? Why do people want children?
Not speaking for myself but people say it makes them feel complete, as if they have a purpose beyond themselves. Also, Some people really just love kids the same way some people really love dogs or cats. Besides that, some people want to give a child what they themselves never got from their own parents. Others also need someone to feel less lonely in life, especially as they get older. In developing countries like mine, kids are also a financial safety net , given that care homes aren't common and the gov doesn't give a damn about old people. Lastly some people are really optimistic about the world and believe that God will look out for their children and give them something to live for. These reasons may not be good enough for you but everyone is different and has a unique world view.
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This cartoon was in BP a while back. It sums it all up for me pretty concisely. 6AF73DF2-9...6-jpeg.jpg 
To the people that are furious because other people online don’t want children: take a big step back and think about why you’re upset. Are you projecting? Do you consider yourself to be the penultimate role model and you think everyone should be like you? Are you defensive about having children because you regret them? If you’re not willing to do that, at least shut up and let people live their lives ffs.
Because misery loves company. Breeders are miserable.
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I can't think of half a reason, let alone one to have kids! Friend asked me, what if everyone thought like you? I replied, not much chance of that. There's more fleas on a dog, than dogs on a flea, which makes me outnumbered!
I appreciate the honesty and reality of so many comments here. It feels like I've found my people!
When you DO have children, you soon find out that one major reason not to have kids is because you have no idea what fear is before you experience fearing for the safety of your child. The sheer terror of realizing that the world is some evil death vortex and that you’re responsible for making sure your child survives is awesome. Anything, from slamming doors to sicknesses, can harm your child - and, usually, the way you act to make sure your child is safe will be exactly what’ll cause them to fight you. Sooner or later. Still, all worth it, in my opinion!
Why is it worth it? What do children offer that is better than anything you could’ve done by yourself?
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I wish I could share this post with every person ever asked me why I am not having kids
Never wanted a child - I also got the "free trial" with my cousins & my brother (1 year age-difference to next younger) and got scolded/grounded/slapped/pocketmoney cut for when the younger ones created sh** or something, b/c I'm the oldest and therefore the responsible one. I know children are expensive, unstable humans with a constant need for attention. =.= But - I won't put myself through the abortion-process a 2nd time, I'd rather commit myself to the hospital, 'cuz it would be a risky pregnancy.
It's pretty awesome coming home from work and taking a nap. Or taking a nap whenever I feel like it for that matter. Doing whatever I want with my free time, and having ample amounts of said free time. Plenty of money to support my hobbies, buy cars. Freedom for spur of the moment trips. A nice clean house, where none of my stuff is sticky or broken. And finally that peace and quiet is heavenly. To each their own though.
when im grown up im having 3 kids. a pitbull named bubba, a rottweiler named zeus, and a curly coated retriever named bella. and maybe a cat...
I love your family planning. I'm sure it will be a fun and enjoyable future.
Load More Replies... Why do people think all of the enjoyable parts of adult life end when you have a kid?
All of the above reasons. I am totally lacking the gene that would make me want a human child. I have no desire. NONE. I don't hold babies. I don't like their smell. I don't like their noises. I don't change diapers (never have and never will). I knew that at 16. I'm now pushing 66 and have zero regrets for my choice. Not to mention I wouldn't have retired at 62 and moved to a mountain villa near Valencia Spain so I could enjoy the Mediterranean lifestyle and more easily travel around Europe
Just not how I want to spend my life. The choice does not need justification.
I started going into explicit detail about my infertility and not wanting to bring a baby into the debt that having IVF or adopting would be. And no, I don't want to foster children because I couldn't handle having to send them back to whatever horrific situation they came from. Now that we don't have them, my husband and I say often how happy we are not having them. We'd have been happy with one, but we're equally happy without. Twasn't meant to be.
The world is suffocating in humans and we are depleting earth's ressoruces faster than the palnet can regrow them. Honestly, all childless people shoudl get a financial bonus rather than being constantly told that they are selfish nd worthless.
If you don't want children, you don't want children. That's it. No one ever asks people who do want kids for their justification or reasons as to why, so why should people who make the choice not to reproduce have to provide reasons? x
I am so glad that people that feel this way or even close to it DON'T have children. I think it is horrible of people to assume or think couples should have children "just because that's what you do next". Too many children are unwanted or abused or worse. Thank you to all of you that don't want children, don't have them.
im agree with your life your choice but some of the reason above made reason while mocking people who choose having child.. ooopppss
And I hope men don't expect the woman to use birth control...get a vasectomy!
If you don’t want kids don’t have kids. If you do want kids have kids. Just don’t act like either makes you superior in any way.
In My Opinion..Its true that kids are hassle and you have to sacrifice more in life...but as time passes all those other things like partying, travelling etc etc becomes boring at one point and there's no meaning in life when you get older, but falling in love with your own kids n the joy you get from is unparalleled...As they grow more n more and do all sort of things you will see yourself in them and the immense pleasure from it is unspeakable...the sacrifice is worth it and the other route is really not that much satisfying all the time...
As a child my own MOTHER would often say "never have kids", and give a litany of woe ABOUT US. And now she begs me for a grandkid despite both brothers having several kids? No way. Not happening.
I understand this in a strange kinda way. I've always wanted kids, and I now have two of my own, who I love with all my heart. However, I have never wanted a pet; zero desire. Some people get so excited when they see a cute dog in the park, but I don't feel that at all. I just see a dog. And I guess this is the way that some people feel about babies.
I totally agree that having or not having children should be personal choice with no justification needed. But I am a little disenchanted at the negative views of the world. It's all justified but sad.
It's far more difficult for women who choose to be child-free than men. That just irks me. We are programmed from birth to think that there is only one path for us and that some supernatural deity has declared that it's our highest calling. I call B.S. I don't want to, never have, never will. Worried about old age? Being without a kid will help you pay for quality long term care insurance. Have eight kids? There's no guarantee any of them will take you on when you become infirm.But they'll line up for the reading of your will, you can bet on it
I am a father of 2 kids and I am very very happy this way. Honestly, seriously... No one, I mean, NO ONE needs a reason to not wanting childs, I even find sort of weird that we have to discuss or explain this topic.
I simply don't like to see, hear or be around children. I am a very introverted person and I find interacting with people other than on a purely professional level very difficult and emotionally exhausting. I am also a very ordered and logical person and children are the absolute antithesis of this.
As a mother of 4 y'all have now made me feel horrible about having kids. But on the bright side, ehhh! There isn't one. Ha!
For the longest time, my husband and I never wanted children. But, something changed. So now here we are, in our 40s, looking to adopt a child that needs a chance at life and a loving home. I would much rather do that instead of making a baby.
Ghhaaa, so many excellent reasons to not have kids, and yet I have 3?? My middle child is now 7, and she is adamant she does not want to have children. Her elder sister can't wait to get started though. It's everyone's own right to choose and to feel what they feel. I never gave it any real thought, for which I feel bad, but the feeling of wanting to have children was so visceral, we just went for it. That's not exactly a reason either.
Didn't like being a child, didn't like other children as a child -- found them to be cruel, and just had no desire. Always felt that raising a child is a responsibility of such importance that one should only do it if one has a burning desire to be a parent. I have never had such a desire.
I respect people that don't want children. It is only sad, that they will never feel that feeling of giving unconditionally love as parents....It is more than a feeling...it is being alive...
The world doesn't need more children right now, so don't have kids if you don't want to. Parents who regret having kids end up with very neurotic kids, so do the world a favor and don't. That being said DON'T complain about taxes for schools etc. Don't go and say "I'm not paying for someone else's kids to go to school". It is 100% in your best interest for kids today to get a good education. They will be running the world when you are a senior, and you don't want a bunch of idiots out there when you are at the point in your life when you depend on others.
Three children and I totally agree with them. Love my kids but I would not be a mother in my second life
Then why have three? This is an honest question.
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My mom always told me I'd be a terrible mother. As I grew up I realized I had no role model for what a good/sane mother was like. I never did have kids b/c it seemed so scary and I had no real support system. I met my husband when I was 45 and that ship had sailed.
Some people are not meant to be parents, BUT I also see a lot of sadness and bitterness in these posts which I find quite disconcerting. No one should be expected to have children, it is their business no one else's, however the same could be said for having children, I take a view that some adults are just negative towards family's to the point of discrimination. After all children are just that, children learning from their piers around them. Yes there are a lot of bad/lazy parents, but the majority of us are not like that. I had my son at 35 (I have been with my husband since I was 22), I know younger me would not have been a great mum, I also got fed up with people asking me why we didn't have children, even people I hardly new, which I found incredibly rude, In the end I used to tell people I was unable to have them and thank them for bringing it up. I now find it heart breaking when adults are so venomous against having children. Fine if you don't want them, but don't be derogative what you are doing is exactly the same as what other who expect you to have children are doing. Reasons for not having children... Added commitment, too young, not made to be a parent, selfishness (I like being me, not wanting to spend effort on children, my money is mine) not in a loving relationship. DON'T BLAME THE CHILD FOR YOUR DESISION. Children are children, they are everyone's future even if they are not yours.
Maybe if breeders would stop giving us flack just because we don't want to be miserable with them, we wouldn't lash out
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I deserve better than that in life. I deserve everything I want, and nothing I don’t want. I deserve to have a nicer life than living entirely for someone else and earning money for someone else, looking at someone else’s future. My future is more important. My body is more important. I’m too important to risk my life to give birth. I don’t like kids. I don’t like their voices. I don’t like their bodies and hands and faces. I don’t like their laughter. I like loud music, daily sex, and lots of time to make money. I don’t like watching kids play. I like doing what I want. I don’t owe anybody shīt.
I guess none of you dont know what it feels like when they turn out good. I have a couple of fantastic daughters that im proud of.
Oh okay, let's have a couple of kids just to test try. And if they all turn out to be psychotic drug addicted lunatics, then what? Your suggestion is f****d up and is exactly why people should stop breeding
Load More Replies... "37 People In This Online Group Discuss Honest Reasons" In how far is anything discussed here? This is merely a list of subjective statements. And what is a honest reason? Why would you need a dishonest reason for the probably most fundamental decision that you take in live? And vice versa, would you look at a list of honest reasons to have children? (This list would be enourmously long for me, but all of these reasons just come from my very inside)? Either way, it is a personal decision and I wonder why you need confirmation in either way.
When they say honest it's probably because when asked by people that you don't want to get into a long conversation with you are more likely to say whatever to end the conversation quickly. If I tell someone I don't think I would make a good dad I'm normally hit with people either trying to show sympathy or explaining why I would be a good parent, which is not really where I'm coming from but clarifying what I mean is tedious so I will say whatever I think they would accept to end the interaction.
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That's bullshit. Child free people - especially women - take all kinds of s**t and abuse when we way we don't want kids. What we WANT is for people to shut up and leave us alone.
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People ONLY have children for selfish reasons. You want a little clone? Have a dozen. Knock yourself out. However you do not get to judge us for not having kids, because it's none of your damned business. ...///... However, it is a good thing when self centered, judgmental, curtain twitchers prove that you're willing to abuse people right off the bat. It saves everyone else the trouble of being polite to you.
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The height of selfishness is to expect others to do something simply because you want them to.
Load More Replies... Why should I give you a reason? This has been my response when being asked this question.
I wish I'd thought of that about 30 years ago. I was after 3 miscarriages and I was still asked when would I have kids. Well, NEVER, thanks. *sigh* In retrospect? I have faith it worked out for the best for me and my other loved ones.
Load More Replies... most the answers here are just proof that these people have thought about it and a lot of them actually CARE about how them having a child would affect said child (ex. mental health, genetics, financial responsibility, COMMITMENT) these are things that should be given more praise than they get imo especially when so many ppl make others feel weird for not wanting a kid
Why do you need to hear excuses? I don't want kids. Never did. I don't owe anyone a reason for that.
Load More Replies... I finally turned 50 and people have stopped asking when I'm going to have kids. I am all of these reasons.
I was 6. My mom gave birth to my sister when I was 6 (mom was 38). I thought I was automatically just going to have a kid and I cried about it. I didn't want kids and I knew it that young. I had a reason to tell when I was older to get people to stop pestering me. Epilepsy is genetic in my family, I have it, I don't want to pass it on (maternal grandfather, mom, me, cousin, cousin's son).
Load More Replies... I'm too selfish to have children. I like spending money on myself and would be miserable if I had to suddenly put all that money towards someone else...and all my time and attention. Plus, there are enough people in this world...enough kids in the system. Also, I'd never forgive myself if I passed on my depression and anxiety to my kid
Could we stop this lunacy? People have reasons to have kids and people have reasons to not have them. Let's not make this into some kind of cult. Whatever your choice is, it's OK. No need to give reasons or justifications and no reason to blame people for having or not having them. Last time I looked there's absolutely no reason for anyone to justify themselves.
Having kids is still the norm. Not wanting them is seen as weird, wrong, bad and people always ask for justification. It’s good to spend a lot of attention to the option to not have children, so it becomes normal and people stop blaming people or shaming them for not having them.
Load More Replies... 1. We're gay - and the world still bullies kids with two Dad's. Sad, but my priority is the child, not my compulsion to be a father. 2. I'm barely mature enough to look after myself, let alone having a dependant. FYI, I'm nearly 40. 3. Money always feels tight, the cost of kids is scary. 4. Whenever I hear them scream (happy or sad) I want to rip their larynx out. 5. As unattractive as it is, I like looking after number one - drink more than I should, go to a restaurant with no planning, enjoy holidays that I want to go on... living life as I please. 6. Really not sure I want to bring them into this world...
No one who doesn't want to be a parent should have to be one. The only answer needed for why someone does not want a child (besides "mind your f-ing business") is "because."
I have 3 adult children and I wanted them. What I hate is people who have kids and didn't want any, they have them for their partner and it doesn't work. Far too much child abuse in the world by people who didn't want kids, ended up with one and cannot handle it. I never push my kids to have children, it is totally up to them and their partner, not me. We need people who don't want children, far too many children born and not wanted as it is.
Because I look at my life, and my budget, and mental and physical health, and ask is there room for a child here? And there's not. It's not just being selfish, though I am, or enjoying my me-time, though I do. I do not have the capacity, emotionally, physically, or financially, to take responsibility for another person. If you aren't committed, and aren't confidant you can do it well, don't make a baby.
My wife gets fed up of people asking her why she doesn't want kids (funnily enough, I NEVER get asked this as a man). Her response is the same every time: "for a reason." End of conversation.
hey wilf, why don't you want kids? maybe you would like it if somebody asked so feel free to answer if you want.
Load More Replies... I never wanted kids, and now at 68, I don't regret for a second never having them. Of course, at this stage of my life, I'd probably only see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway. ;-)
You can't try to have kids. There is no way back. So it's totally fine to just don't. I'm tired of people telling me you will change your mind if you have kids... Nahhaaa. What if not, huh? Will you take responsibility? I don't think so.
I have heard so many people say to me that it's different when their yours. Yes. What if I do have a child and it turns out not to be different? You can't put them back.
Load More Replies... I had my child over twenty years ago but I wouldn't choose to have children now - nothing to do with the pandemic. For the last five years or so the world has been getting more and more angry. Instead of acceptance there is growing intolerance and so many people display that at complete strangers.
Yeah. I have young children and this is one of my big concerns. That and climate change. I didnt think about it before I had them, but my increasing awareness of the world around me and the legacy they are being left with makes me very concerned for thier physical and emotional futures.
Load More Replies... I'm really impressed by these responses, but they also, strangely, make me proud that I had the courage to choose to have kids. It has been a tough road (3 kids, 2x Asperger's, 2x ADHD among that) but I'm proud and grateful I took it - but I'm also proud of and grateful for the people who consciously choose not to.
If you WANT kids, you should have many reasons; not wanting to breed is no-one's business. No-one's getting hurt.
I hate how people with kids always ask people without kids "why don't you have kids?". Especially if you're a woman, many think you're obligated to. Like a few of these point out, the better question is "Why did you have kids?"
i don't think most parents will mind answering that question.
Load More Replies... I like kids, but I am so scared of the idea of giving birth, and I decided that I never want to. I would rather adopt kids who need a family.
I always wanted to adopt, however my husband struggled with the idea. we have one amazing son. But I can agree, being pregnant and giving birth are not fun, however as soon as you hold your baby, its all forgotten. Very strange and seral really. PS, I had a horrible pregnancy and birth. nearly killed both of us. HOWEVER, I would have done it a million times over, my son is the best thing I have ever done. I hope to foster in the future :)
Load More Replies... I’m kind of on the fence on whether or not I want kids when I grow up. There’s just so much crap to go through, and it hurts, and money and stuff. I wanna travel too. But I think it might be fun to raise a kid. If I don’t have kids, I’m just gonna get a bird, or a dog, or both. I like pets
The good thing is that you have a good long time to make that decision. The only thing I can tell you (and this applies to getting married, too), is if you have ANY doubts at all, if there's even a hint of a doubt that you're doing the right thing, then DON'T. ...///... These decisions are yours and yours alone. Do not let anyone pressure you, don't do these things because people tell you you "should".
Load More Replies... What if.... It's not like you don't want children at all, but also not a desire you want so badly? Like... if I have kids - nice! If I don't - nice as well! I don't know, that's how I feel at the moment. My curious nature kind of makes me want to have them, but, although I'm 31, I still don't hurry. And I don't feel terrified at neither thought of having or not having children.
On one side of my fam, we are 19 cousins. Only 3 had kids, and all three were on drugs (addicts). The sober ones adopted their stepkids or just didn't have any. And, in retrospect, I'm not sad to see that DNA die out. My mom's fam is great, which was why I awnted kids, but as I couldn't have them (medical reason)? .... Yeah, the paternal-side cousins and I seemed to all reach the same conclusion: Don't take the chance we'll be like the parent we feared/hated/etc.
I find it odd that very few of them mentioned about how good it is to have your independence and freedom for all your life. That's what I love about not having kids.
that's because as a parent, your kid is dependent on you, not the other way. The parent is the independent one in the relation. Also that freedom is quite ok. Freedom gets limited a lot more by society in general than just by my kid. So pretending you have all the freedom you want because you don't have kids is also quite an exaggeration. it's more like 65% vs 60% freedom.
Load More Replies... I don't like giving reasons because it seems like a waste of breath to an answer to a question that should just be accepted, but if you need a reason, birth seems terrifying, I never want to go through that, my girlfriend doesn't want kids either so even if I changed my mind (which i wont) i want to respect that, kids are loud and messy, i want to be able to travel without worrying about kids, id have to be super super careful to make sure they don't get my cystic fibrosis passed on to them (and i cant deal with that stress), im worried they'll be as big of a jerk as I used to be/still kind of am to people i know irl, i won't be responsible enough to keep them alive, and i dont want them to have to go through really bad mental health issues like me because that seems unfair to me (they never asked to be born)
So another anti children article.Some people want kids,others dont,just get over it ffs
I don't have many regrets in life. But the biggest one is that I never had children. I'm way too old now, but in my younger days, gay men adopting/having children was only for the very rich and/or connected persons. But thanks to my little Sis, I got to borrow hers anytime I wanted. Now I'm borrowing her grandchildren. Children are my favorite people.
i'm a single-mum of a 17year old wonderful teenage boy who is in the middle of puberty. this is hardcore. but i was like him in this age.. so i can't judge him. if i could decide again i would prefer to be alone and have no kids. it is only because of the constant worries of his wellbeing and him doing the right things. this is exhausting.
Parenting is exhausting and puberty is hardcore. Wishing you and your son the best as you navigate these tumultous years and trusting that you will both come out the other end with a strong mutual adult bond that is more fulfilling xoxox
Load More Replies... In real life, I have NEVER seen kids/family presented as shown on TV commercials, sit coms and movies. When the show ends, everybody goes back to their real life. Baby sitting (which I quit doing after I was 16) showed me what having children is REALLY like. Doesn't matter how old or how many, life came to a screeching HALT when kids entered anyone's life. And I quit dating men who had custody of kids every other weekend (or less) -- even they didn't want to sit with their own kids, trying to toss them off on me. No. Nope. No Thanks. And I HATE it when baby dolls are still foisted off on little girls. They don't get it that a baby is 24/7, but the doll they throw into a box, closet or drawer. Reality bites!
No. I have never wanted kids. I never learned how to be a mother, much less a good one.There is a tremendous history of abuse on both sides. The one way to break that cycle is to not have a child. Although I would NEVER abuse a child, I'm sure my parents started out having no intention of doing that either, but they did. I have an amazing nephew who I love with all my heart. We are not technically related. I was the first one to hold him after his parents. But my friends understood about me and kids. I'll babysit and do for you/him anything you need. But only until his first birthday. After that age, frankly, I dont know what to do with them. How to relate to them, how to talk to them. How to play with them. So the next time I'll be alone with him is when he's 18 and I take him out for a beer. Actually it turned out he was 16 and we went to a golfing range. I admire my friends for their incredible commitment, sacrifice, and selflessness. He is an amazing man.
Well...for starters, it's a vagina. Not a clown car. (This is for those that appear to be trying to field their own baseball team...)
I propose "clown car" as a euphemism. As in "Stay out of my clown car!" or if not in the mood, "Sorry, I locked the keys in the clown car."
Load More Replies... I have four siblings, and once I turn eighteen I do NOT want that experience anymore.
I feel for you, I am a mum, BUT admit I struggle to imagine all children getting the needed one on one time and alone space. I don't understand how larger family's work. (but this could just be because I was 1 of 2 and I only have 1)
Load More Replies... Wife and are are pregnant with the first and already we are being asked when does #2 come, or that will be good if #2 is a boy/girl. #2? I don't even know if I will like #1, I never planned on having 1... 2 is out of the question
best change that thought on one, Saying that my husband struggled (it was planed) I do find some men can overthink parent hood (like my hubby) My advice, the first two years it will generally be a support roll to mum. Everything tends to revolve around mum being the primary parent. (that's if she is breast feeding and being the main nappy changer and the one mostly at home) at around the age of two loyalty will switch, as Men are big kids at heart and you will become their favourite play mate, but mum will be needed for bumps and scrapes. xxx remember to breath, put your wife first and buy yourself toys that you like to play with. (we are a lego family) A dads roll is supportive and playful. lastly, you will be awesome x
Load More Replies... I've always wondered if men or women comprise the largest group who do not want children, but do want to be in a long-term relationship, and yet eventually become parents as a compromise. As a man I always had the impression such a woman would be difficult to impossible to find.
There are plenty of women who don't want children, although I didn't fully realise it until I was in my mid thirties. If you had asked me at 29 I would have said I wanted them, but I had never really given it my full consideration. As soon as I started to think about it properly, I knew that I just didn't want that kind of responsibility.
Load More Replies... me not having a kid is the most responsible decision anyone in the history of this planet ever made
A lot of people saying you should have a reason to have kids. You don't need a reason to have a kid. You need commitment!
My husband and I both wanted to have kids, both of our pregnancies were planned, and now that both of our kids are grown, we can look back on the years with no regrets. But I also know exactly what you mean when you talk about money, time, etc., all of it! And I agree with everyone who says they don't want kids. If you don't want them, then you absolutely should not have them! The human race is just fine, and you don't have to have kids in order to benefit mankind. Having kids because you feel obliged to is a tragedy, so I'm pretty glad for this day and age.
I don't want kids. I've never wanted kids. I like my time and money. My parents were not good ones and I refuse to do that to someone else. I have genetic diseases which I refuse to pass on and make the likelihood of having a kid with severe genetic problems sky high. Plus now I'm 38, which also increases the risks. And yet, doctors still won't listen to me when I say I want my tubes tied, because "You might change your mind" NO. I. WONT.
I still don’t understand how children are a good thing. What do they bring to the equation that makes my life better? Why do people want children?
Not speaking for myself but people say it makes them feel complete, as if they have a purpose beyond themselves. Also, Some people really just love kids the same way some people really love dogs or cats. Besides that, some people want to give a child what they themselves never got from their own parents. Others also need someone to feel less lonely in life, especially as they get older. In developing countries like mine, kids are also a financial safety net , given that care homes aren't common and the gov doesn't give a damn about old people. Lastly some people are really optimistic about the world and believe that God will look out for their children and give them something to live for. These reasons may not be good enough for you but everyone is different and has a unique world view.
Load More Replies... This cartoon was in BP a while back. It sums it all up for me pretty concisely. 6AF73DF2-9...6-jpeg.jpg
To the people that are furious because other people online don’t want children: take a big step back and think about why you’re upset. Are you projecting? Do you consider yourself to be the penultimate role model and you think everyone should be like you? Are you defensive about having children because you regret them? If you’re not willing to do that, at least shut up and let people live their lives ffs.
Because misery loves company. Breeders are miserable.
Load More Replies... I can't think of half a reason, let alone one to have kids! Friend asked me, what if everyone thought like you? I replied, not much chance of that. There's more fleas on a dog, than dogs on a flea, which makes me outnumbered!
I appreciate the honesty and reality of so many comments here. It feels like I've found my people!
When you DO have children, you soon find out that one major reason not to have kids is because you have no idea what fear is before you experience fearing for the safety of your child. The sheer terror of realizing that the world is some evil death vortex and that you’re responsible for making sure your child survives is awesome. Anything, from slamming doors to sicknesses, can harm your child - and, usually, the way you act to make sure your child is safe will be exactly what’ll cause them to fight you. Sooner or later. Still, all worth it, in my opinion!
Why is it worth it? What do children offer that is better than anything you could’ve done by yourself?
Load More Replies... I wish I could share this post with every person ever asked me why I am not having kids
Never wanted a child - I also got the "free trial" with my cousins & my brother (1 year age-difference to next younger) and got scolded/grounded/slapped/pocketmoney cut for when the younger ones created sh** or something, b/c I'm the oldest and therefore the responsible one. I know children are expensive, unstable humans with a constant need for attention. =.= But - I won't put myself through the abortion-process a 2nd time, I'd rather commit myself to the hospital, 'cuz it would be a risky pregnancy.
It's pretty awesome coming home from work and taking a nap. Or taking a nap whenever I feel like it for that matter. Doing whatever I want with my free time, and having ample amounts of said free time. Plenty of money to support my hobbies, buy cars. Freedom for spur of the moment trips. A nice clean house, where none of my stuff is sticky or broken. And finally that peace and quiet is heavenly. To each their own though.
when im grown up im having 3 kids. a pitbull named bubba, a rottweiler named zeus, and a curly coated retriever named bella. and maybe a cat...
I love your family planning. I'm sure it will be a fun and enjoyable future.
Load More Replies... Why do people think all of the enjoyable parts of adult life end when you have a kid?
All of the above reasons. I am totally lacking the gene that would make me want a human child. I have no desire. NONE. I don't hold babies. I don't like their smell. I don't like their noises. I don't change diapers (never have and never will). I knew that at 16. I'm now pushing 66 and have zero regrets for my choice. Not to mention I wouldn't have retired at 62 and moved to a mountain villa near Valencia Spain so I could enjoy the Mediterranean lifestyle and more easily travel around Europe
Just not how I want to spend my life. The choice does not need justification.
I started going into explicit detail about my infertility and not wanting to bring a baby into the debt that having IVF or adopting would be. And no, I don't want to foster children because I couldn't handle having to send them back to whatever horrific situation they came from. Now that we don't have them, my husband and I say often how happy we are not having them. We'd have been happy with one, but we're equally happy without. Twasn't meant to be.
The world is suffocating in humans and we are depleting earth's ressoruces faster than the palnet can regrow them. Honestly, all childless people shoudl get a financial bonus rather than being constantly told that they are selfish nd worthless.
If you don't want children, you don't want children. That's it. No one ever asks people who do want kids for their justification or reasons as to why, so why should people who make the choice not to reproduce have to provide reasons? x
I am so glad that people that feel this way or even close to it DON'T have children. I think it is horrible of people to assume or think couples should have children "just because that's what you do next". Too many children are unwanted or abused or worse. Thank you to all of you that don't want children, don't have them.
im agree with your life your choice but some of the reason above made reason while mocking people who choose having child.. ooopppss
And I hope men don't expect the woman to use birth control...get a vasectomy!
If you don’t want kids don’t have kids. If you do want kids have kids. Just don’t act like either makes you superior in any way.
In My Opinion..Its true that kids are hassle and you have to sacrifice more in life...but as time passes all those other things like partying, travelling etc etc becomes boring at one point and there's no meaning in life when you get older, but falling in love with your own kids n the joy you get from is unparalleled...As they grow more n more and do all sort of things you will see yourself in them and the immense pleasure from it is unspeakable...the sacrifice is worth it and the other route is really not that much satisfying all the time...
As a child my own MOTHER would often say "never have kids", and give a litany of woe ABOUT US. And now she begs me for a grandkid despite both brothers having several kids? No way. Not happening.
I understand this in a strange kinda way. I've always wanted kids, and I now have two of my own, who I love with all my heart. However, I have never wanted a pet; zero desire. Some people get so excited when they see a cute dog in the park, but I don't feel that at all. I just see a dog. And I guess this is the way that some people feel about babies.
I totally agree that having or not having children should be personal choice with no justification needed. But I am a little disenchanted at the negative views of the world. It's all justified but sad.
It's far more difficult for women who choose to be child-free than men. That just irks me. We are programmed from birth to think that there is only one path for us and that some supernatural deity has declared that it's our highest calling. I call B.S. I don't want to, never have, never will. Worried about old age? Being without a kid will help you pay for quality long term care insurance. Have eight kids? There's no guarantee any of them will take you on when you become infirm.But they'll line up for the reading of your will, you can bet on it
I am a father of 2 kids and I am very very happy this way. Honestly, seriously... No one, I mean, NO ONE needs a reason to not wanting childs, I even find sort of weird that we have to discuss or explain this topic.
I simply don't like to see, hear or be around children. I am a very introverted person and I find interacting with people other than on a purely professional level very difficult and emotionally exhausting. I am also a very ordered and logical person and children are the absolute antithesis of this.
As a mother of 4 y'all have now made me feel horrible about having kids. But on the bright side, ehhh! There isn't one. Ha!
For the longest time, my husband and I never wanted children. But, something changed. So now here we are, in our 40s, looking to adopt a child that needs a chance at life and a loving home. I would much rather do that instead of making a baby.
Ghhaaa, so many excellent reasons to not have kids, and yet I have 3?? My middle child is now 7, and she is adamant she does not want to have children. Her elder sister can't wait to get started though. It's everyone's own right to choose and to feel what they feel. I never gave it any real thought, for which I feel bad, but the feeling of wanting to have children was so visceral, we just went for it. That's not exactly a reason either.
Didn't like being a child, didn't like other children as a child -- found them to be cruel, and just had no desire. Always felt that raising a child is a responsibility of such importance that one should only do it if one has a burning desire to be a parent. I have never had such a desire.
I respect people that don't want children. It is only sad, that they will never feel that feeling of giving unconditionally love as parents....It is more than a feeling...it is being alive...
The world doesn't need more children right now, so don't have kids if you don't want to. Parents who regret having kids end up with very neurotic kids, so do the world a favor and don't. That being said DON'T complain about taxes for schools etc. Don't go and say "I'm not paying for someone else's kids to go to school". It is 100% in your best interest for kids today to get a good education. They will be running the world when you are a senior, and you don't want a bunch of idiots out there when you are at the point in your life when you depend on others.
Three children and I totally agree with them. Love my kids but I would not be a mother in my second life
Then why have three? This is an honest question.
Load More Replies... My mom always told me I'd be a terrible mother. As I grew up I realized I had no role model for what a good/sane mother was like. I never did have kids b/c it seemed so scary and I had no real support system. I met my husband when I was 45 and that ship had sailed.
Some people are not meant to be parents, BUT I also see a lot of sadness and bitterness in these posts which I find quite disconcerting. No one should be expected to have children, it is their business no one else's, however the same could be said for having children, I take a view that some adults are just negative towards family's to the point of discrimination. After all children are just that, children learning from their piers around them. Yes there are a lot of bad/lazy parents, but the majority of us are not like that. I had my son at 35 (I have been with my husband since I was 22), I know younger me would not have been a great mum, I also got fed up with people asking me why we didn't have children, even people I hardly new, which I found incredibly rude, In the end I used to tell people I was unable to have them and thank them for bringing it up. I now find it heart breaking when adults are so venomous against having children. Fine if you don't want them, but don't be derogative what you are doing is exactly the same as what other who expect you to have children are doing. Reasons for not having children... Added commitment, too young, not made to be a parent, selfishness (I like being me, not wanting to spend effort on children, my money is mine) not in a loving relationship. DON'T BLAME THE CHILD FOR YOUR DESISION. Children are children, they are everyone's future even if they are not yours.
Maybe if breeders would stop giving us flack just because we don't want to be miserable with them, we wouldn't lash out
Load More Replies... I deserve better than that in life. I deserve everything I want, and nothing I don’t want. I deserve to have a nicer life than living entirely for someone else and earning money for someone else, looking at someone else’s future. My future is more important. My body is more important. I’m too important to risk my life to give birth. I don’t like kids. I don’t like their voices. I don’t like their bodies and hands and faces. I don’t like their laughter. I like loud music, daily sex, and lots of time to make money. I don’t like watching kids play. I like doing what I want. I don’t owe anybody shīt.
I guess none of you dont know what it feels like when they turn out good. I have a couple of fantastic daughters that im proud of.
Oh okay, let's have a couple of kids just to test try. And if they all turn out to be psychotic drug addicted lunatics, then what? Your suggestion is f****d up and is exactly why people should stop breeding
Load More Replies... "37 People In This Online Group Discuss Honest Reasons" In how far is anything discussed here? This is merely a list of subjective statements. And what is a honest reason? Why would you need a dishonest reason for the probably most fundamental decision that you take in live? And vice versa, would you look at a list of honest reasons to have children? (This list would be enourmously long for me, but all of these reasons just come from my very inside)? Either way, it is a personal decision and I wonder why you need confirmation in either way.
When they say honest it's probably because when asked by people that you don't want to get into a long conversation with you are more likely to say whatever to end the conversation quickly. If I tell someone I don't think I would make a good dad I'm normally hit with people either trying to show sympathy or explaining why I would be a good parent, which is not really where I'm coming from but clarifying what I mean is tedious so I will say whatever I think they would accept to end the interaction.
Load More Replies... That's bullshit. Child free people - especially women - take all kinds of s**t and abuse when we way we don't want kids. What we WANT is for people to shut up and leave us alone.
Load More Replies... People ONLY have children for selfish reasons. You want a little clone? Have a dozen. Knock yourself out. However you do not get to judge us for not having kids, because it's none of your damned business. ...///... However, it is a good thing when self centered, judgmental, curtain twitchers prove that you're willing to abuse people right off the bat. It saves everyone else the trouble of being polite to you.
Load More Replies... The height of selfishness is to expect others to do something simply because you want them to.
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