“Tell Me You’re A Woman Without Telling Me You’re A Woman” (30 Tweets)
Interview With Author
For all the talk about gender equality, the truth is that being a woman is very different in reality, full of everyday struggles that some people might not be aware of until they’re pointed out. That’s what Twitter user Gayatri wanted to show the world with her viral thread where she asked women to tell her they’re women “without telling me you’re a woman.”
Gayatri, from Mumbai in India, caught people’s attention with her to-the-point and no-nonsense thread. She opened up by saying that she’s always on the lookout for “escape routes” whenever she’s walking in a dark alley. Other women pitched in with their experiences and Gayatri added a few more of her own. Gayatri told Bored Panda that she routinely talks about women's life and workplace experiences on Twitter. "I started this thread as a way for women to share their experiences and the prejudices they face in everyday life. The answers showed that women all over the country and world even had the same experiences. We fought the same battles."
Scroll down a read through the responses to Gayatri's thread and our interview with her, dear Pandas. What did you think of the thread? How would you answer her question? What do you think can be done to change the situation? Let us know in the comments. Gayatri’s fears aren’t unfounded. The situation with women’s rights in India is shocking, writes The Guardian, and both women and girls are frequently victims of violence.
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According to Gayatri, one of the things that the responses to her thread showed is that rights and reality are two very different things. "Instead of asking women what needs to change about women's rights, I think what needs to change is the perception of men. Women are still looked at as inferior beings who need to be told what to do and how to live every single day," she said.
"Men need to actively listen to women, overcome their biases and age-old mental conditioning, and treat women as equals. These discourses are being labeled feminism and the women who talk about this, feminists. But if you think about it, all women want is to left alone and not be told by men how to lead their lives."
However, there are problems in the West, as well. Writer and founder of ‘Voice of Salam,’ Elizabeth Arif-Fear told Bored Panda that women face sexist attitudes, harassment, and barriers to entry because of their gender both in the workplace and outside of it.
Her solutions to these issues is to continue to “dismantle gender-based stereotypes about gender roles,” push for “full parity in dividing unpaid work at home with their partners,” and report incidents of harassment and “illegal questioning of their marital status in job interviews.”
According to Arif-Fear, these kinds of actions will help in continuing the work toward “smashing the glass ceiling” that women face.
“Ladies, you can do it! Please believe in yourself!” she said. “Likewise, partners need to do their share at home, colleagues should check their attitudes (e.g. sexist comments), not mansplain in meetings, and managers and employers should ensure that they are creating fair equal opportunities and spaces at the table. Consideration for those with childcare responsibilities is also important.”
Take self defense classes. It Is important to make you feel more secure and for reducing anxiety.
I have Heard this one several times. I still dont get it and my reaction Is "ignore and keep lifting"
This Is true, most of the times women are in charge of child cre. When i travel kids stay with my partner, but he Is "assisted" by muy mother un law, the Nanny, and my female friends.
If she would have raised him correctly, he should be able to take care of himself!
Ooooh I feel this. Living with my MIL while I finished nursing school I reduced my hours to part time work and spent my "free time" doing things I enjoy to spare my sanity. She once very "kindly" told me that when she was married she always made sure there was food on the table for her husband when he got home from work. Now I'm a nurse caring for COVID patients and my husband is not working... he isn't cooking for me and I'd never expect him too. I don't believe she had the same conversation with her son. Such an antiquated expectation!
Agreed. Same thing here. "She has a PhD, but is just un Cats". Fxxk them, useless, frustrated pricks.
I've stopped doing this. It's amazingly freeing watching men'sreactionsthe first few times they realized that I wasn't moving.
I do the pretend to be on the phone thing because there are some creepy dudes in my apartment complex.
Good for you to recognize it. Now STOP. Count all your achievements un order. Say them out loud. You will feel proud.
Man, I'm only 12 but even I know this stuff. (I'm a girl btw) The world is a scary place.
You are teaching him something really important by being strong and a working mom. Keep up.
I’m pretty sure I have very poor attraction detection skills. When someone follows you and look your path a certain way repeatedly...don’t ever compromise your safety over fear that you’re hurting someone’s feelings or possibly overreacting. The Amy Cooper(s) of the world is something else.
My dad travels everywhere for his work while my mom's job is more stationary, but my dad never gets asked. When me and my mom were on a trip together, we both got asked.
This is horrible. Please take care of yourself, and start working on the small changes at home. We can make a difference.
Keep in mind not all white men do the same thing. I'm a white (almost a) man, and I can't be assertive to save my life
Yes, but this is because you love them! I will hope my partner do the same thing.
That is your maybe your choice, or the reality of the world you live in. Either way it is an awful way to live. I bet if you don't do things exactly as expected, people make sure you know. So sorry.
(Rant warning) Many of those are more "I'm discriminated against" and that's not woman-specific. I'm a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and we have been nothing but allies to women. When girls were fawning over boys, we were being shoved in trash cans by said boys, then going right back to be their emotionnal support, harrassment shield "boyfriend", pregnancy scare buddy... When our moment in the polotical light came, we used our modicum of cultural influence to fight gender roles, for all of us. Now at last the third feminist moment has come, and minorities seem to be forgotten. Or even fought against on reproductive rights, political rights, even basic rights (trans especially). Women have overwhelming power over cultural transmission as mothers and teachers. #Metoo was long overdue, but where is the large call to use that power to free boys from the toxic masculinity we all suffer from?
When I started studying my PhD., one of my teacher told me, that they don't like girls studying for a PhD., because they leave their studies to have children...
(Rant warning) Many of those are more "I'm discriminated against" and that's not woman-specific. I'm a member of the LGBTQ+ community, and we have been nothing but allies to women. When girls were fawning over boys, we were being shoved in trash cans by said boys, then going right back to be their emotionnal support, harrassment shield "boyfriend", pregnancy scare buddy... When our moment in the polotical light came, we used our modicum of cultural influence to fight gender roles, for all of us. Now at last the third feminist moment has come, and minorities seem to be forgotten. Or even fought against on reproductive rights, political rights, even basic rights (trans especially). Women have overwhelming power over cultural transmission as mothers and teachers. #Metoo was long overdue, but where is the large call to use that power to free boys from the toxic masculinity we all suffer from?
When I started studying my PhD., one of my teacher told me, that they don't like girls studying for a PhD., because they leave their studies to have children...
