“This would never happen to me. I’d never be dumb enough to fall for this. I’d have figured out they were trying to trick me ages ago.” These are just some of the things that people might think when they’re hearing about someone being exploited by a cult. However, many folks don’t take into account just how manipulative and insidious cult leaders can be, eroding a person’s confidence and making them entirely reliant on others over long periods of time. Some people might be more vulnerable, but nobody’s completely immune to cultist psychological warfare.
And if you happen to be born in a cult or raised in one as a kid… getting out can be hell. But there are always signs that something’s off, that there’s brainwashing afoot. Reddit users who were raised in cults opened up about the first time that they realized that something was very wrong with the community.
Get ready for a deep dive into the dark side of humanity and scroll down for some very honest stories about growing up surrounded by cultists.
Bored Panda got in touch with Suzanne Degges-White to talk about how cult leaders target their victims and manipulate their followers, as well as how to get someone you care about out of a cult. She also detailed the character traits that cult leaders tend to have. Suzanne is a Licensed Counselor, Professor, and Chair at the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University.
"The worst thing about cult indoctrination is that people actually LOVE the feeling they get in being a part of something bigger than themselves. Folks who have the wisdom to recognize that they are being led into a cult are not the ones who are going to be totally indoctrinated and stuck inside it," she explained to us.
"They recognize that the leader is likely a charlatan and they have enough of a support system beyond the cult that they don't get totally sucked into it in the first place. The people who actually NEED to get out of it are going to have to have a support system or something better outside the cult if they are going to leave." Read on for our full interview with Suzanne.
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When I met with my mother about difficulty coping with my arranged marriage. I explained to her the abusive aspects of the relationship and how much it was breaking me down, and her response was that it was my job to be quiet and if God wanted to change my husband, he would.
I suddenly realized, sitting across from her and looking her in the eyes, that she had let my father take my childhood innocence and had zero qualms about my mistreatment now at the hands of my husband.
I knew when I hugged her goodbye and cried all the way home that I would never see her again. It’s been four years since I ran away.
Suzanne, from Northern Illinois University, explained to Bored Panda what makes cult leaders so dangerous. "Cult leaders are master manipulators who are also excellent readers of others—and they truly sense who is a more likely 'follower' aka 'victim' and tend to invest their energy wisely. They don't waste too much time on people they don't think will easily join their ranks," she told Bored Panda that these individuals go for the most vulnerable.
"Cult leaders are narcissistic individuals who use their self-interest and charisma to prey on their followers. This, of course, requires that their followers, or marks, have certain traits that make them more likely to be preyed upon. Research suggests that some of the traits that make people vulnerable to joining a cult include suffering from anxiety or depression or addictions."
Disorders like anxiety or depression can make a person more vulnerable to a cultist who offers them solutions to their problems. "People with addictions need to have something to fill the hole left when they stop using whatever substance/behavior that they are addicted to. Addiction reflects a hunger and cult leaders have an easy time using their powers of persuasion to convince the follower that they and their cult can fill that need," Suzanne stressed that addicts are also potential prey for cult leaders.
Former Jehovah's witness too. The first time I realized something was wrong was when a huge core belief changed in 1995. ( The end will come before the generation that saw the events of 1914 died...changed to.. well it's changed 7 times since then) I was confused and it didn't compute that my entire life's beliefs changed over night. I struggled on awhile until shortly after my then husband beat the s**t out of me and for some reason HE called the elders over to help and the elders told me " Be a better wife so he doesn't get angry" I was done then. DONE.
After watching The Day After in the 80s, I asked my mom if we knew the nukes were coming, who would she rather spend her last moments with me or the cult leader, she choose him. I came up with my own survival plan after that. I was going to skateboard to safety.
"Cult leaders often use the powers of seduction to convince people to follow them—they use flattery of a potential member along with promises of 'belonging' and being 'needed,' so that can be extremely enticing to someone who feels that something important is missing in their life. When someone convinces us that they care more about us than anyone else in our world, we will do whatever they want us to do just to keep their light shining on us," she drew attention to how cults exploit human psychology for their own benefit.
According to the psychology expert, people are brought into cults believing that the leader has all the answers they're seeking. "You are treated like family and you have other cult members who make you feel welcome and work hard to develop that sense of belonging. When nothing else in your life is giving you what you need or satisfying you in important ways, a cult is the perfect setting to feel valued and that you matter," she said that this entraps a person, convincing them to stay. However, that's not to say that it's impossible to get someone out.
This happened to my classmate in the fifth grade. Her family were Jehovah Witnessers. She needed a blood transfusion but the family refused and she died. I don't remember the specifics of her condition but WTF. The whole class cried for weeks. Try wrapping your little 11 year old brain around that.
Jehovahs witnesses. When my sister got pregnant out of wedlock, went to the elders (group of old men residing over congregation) to confess and repent. They decided to disfellowship her, meaning all other Jehovahs witnesses had to shun her, even immediate family. When asked why this was the decision, they reinforced to us how they basically communicated with god by spirit and this is what god intended. I knew it was bs. Left very soon after and never had anything else to do with them. All of my immediate family eventually did, one by one and last year I celebrated Christmas with all of them together for the first time since 1999.
I got punished for my own sexual assault. I was victim blamed. The abuser was twice my age (I was mid-teens). I was forced to repent. For what, I am not sure as they wouldn’t answer that question.
As I got older and looked back, I realized that everything they’d told me was a lie. If you do everything you’re supposed to, you’re supposed to be blessed. If you break the rules, you have challenges/obstacles/lessons and must repent.
But if Jesus dies for my sins why do I have to repent? And what am I repenting for? I didn’t consent I any of that. Nor could I from a legal standpoint.
The only obvious answer was that it was all bulls**t. Then years later, a widely publicized case with similar circumstances became international news. And the victim’s clergy person stood up on CNN and said she was forgiven. Forgiven. For being raped.
I had noped out years before but when I saw that particular press conference I had to get therapy to deal with all that rage. Guh
"To get someone you care about out of the cult, you have to work hard and be available to help them see reason. You have to encourage them to stay involved in activities beyond the cult, to engage in connections with people who are 'outsiders,'" Suzanne explained.
"For some people, the sense of belonging within a cult is worth more than autonomy, wealth, or connections to family or those beyond the cult. That's when interventions by caring others are needed to help that person recognize the truth of their situation."
When we were told that we couldn't go to college. I was about 15 when I realized that we weren't allowed to. The elders said it was because of the end time coming and wasting time, and worry about fellowship in the world. It is because they want to keep us stupid. That was the year I left. That was compounded because the same year my cousin tried to kill herself, and they told us not to visit. I hadn't been baptized yet (you wait until you are old enough to study and consent) so I told the elders that if we weren't allowed to talk to her in her greatest time of need, they could shove it.
When the 'Elders' told me that I could no longer speak to my younger sister anymore because she was in 'bad standing' with the organization. She's the only family I have left. They made her out to be this monster just because she wasn't actively going to church. That's when the glass shattered for me
I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and my sister and I are still close. She's doing great things for herself and I do not regret my decision at all. Dont let someone else make decisions for your life, you'll be much happier!
When my parents told me they'd let me die rather than allow me to get certain medical procedures.
Something like this happened about three years ago in Lagos, Nigeria. A family gave birth to a weak baby, that needed quick blood transfusion. Because the family were Jehovah Witnesses, they refused, saying that the baby would be healed and blah blah. The government had to forcefully take the baby from them. If not for the quick intervention, it would have lost its life and the family would have said it was the will of God. That would have been plain homicide. When I asked a mate of mine who was also JW, she said that they believed that blood transfusion transfers sins from a body to another. It was funny, till I realised that many lives would have been lost to that belief. And more would be
According to the BBC, there are as many as 2k suspected cults operating in the United Kingdom at this point in time. Some of them target students to swell their ranks. “Just absolute mind control,” is how Jess, a former student, described her time at the Shincheonji Church of Jesus.
She was recruited on the campus of the University of Salford and said she couldn’t recognize herself anymore while she was with the cult.
Meanwhile, CBS states that there are up to 10k cults in the United States. International cult expert Steve Eichel stressed that most cults are small and deliberately try to stay under the radar.
When I was the one who got shunned for defending a child from a pedophile.
When my mom said that I was so bad at housekeeping that if I got abused by my future husband, "he would be within his rights as head of the household".
Fundie cults are the worst
It's hard to pick a first time but I knew I needed to run when I was taken shopping for a wedding dress at 12 years old.
"Unless they commit a crime, unless they do something that draws attention to them—negative attention and criticism to them—we generally don't know about them,” the expert suggested that these groups could be living right under our very noses without anyone realizing that something’s very wrong.
Eichel listed some of the things that make a cult, well, a cult. From deception to being overly secretive, here are the ways to recognize one of these groups.
"Beware of any kind of pressure. That's probably the single most important advice I can give anyone. Any kind of pressure to make a quick decision about becoming involved in any intensive kind of activity or organization,” the cult expert stressed that being rushed to make decisions can be an indication that you’ve been approached by cultists.
When I was pulled out of Sunday school and scolded for asking legit questions about our so called prophet. I was 8 years old and couldn’t wrap my head around how some guy could translate a lost language using a hat and a stone. I used to be a Mormon lmao.
Scientology. When they took our second house.
They’re headquartered in Clearwater, Florida. They basically own all of downtown and then some. Driving through there is such an eerie experience. Some of their high-rise buildings have bars on all windows. Im sure a lot of malicious stuff goes on in there. I don’t understand how in this day and age these things are allowed.
Every women needed to bear a child with the cult leader. We were given drugged sweets, such as cookies, for food.
“Be wary of any leader who proclaims him or herself as having special powers or special insight. And, of course, divinity,” he said. “The group is closed, so in other words, although there may be outside followers, there's usually an inner circle that follows the leader without question, and that maintains a tremendous amount of secrecy."
According to Eichel, cults use deceptive means to recruit new members. Then, they use an “organized program of through reform” (aka brainwashing) to change how these fresh recruits think and operate.
When my youth group leader said that telling poor people about Jesus was more important than feeding them or housing them.
When they kept telling me that only men could be leaders, and women were supposed to be silent, demure, secondary, and subservient. I looked around and saw so many dumb asses I wouldn't trust to lead me out of a burning building without copping a feel and claiming it was something I did that caused them to stumble, such as wear a tank top or pants.
"silent, demure, secondary, and subservient." Like that would ever happen.
When the leader kept my mom up for 2 days straight. He was making her cook, clean, be on him hand and foot all while berating her. yelled at her she was an evil woman going to hell, he was too godly for her, etc. 3 am and I hear him screaming at her, all biblical bs, and she’s crying. she broke down and he drove my mom, my sister and I to the ER and said she had to check herself into mental health because she’s psychotic. We are there for 3 hours. They turn her away and she comes out with abuse pamphlets.
"Typically, cults also exploit their members… mostly financially. Within the group, they'll exploit members financially, psychologically, emotionally and, all too often, sexually,” the expert warned.
"A very important aspect of cult is the idea that if you leave the cult, horrible things will happen to you. This is important, and it's important to realize. That people outside of a cult are potential members, so they're not looked upon as negatively as people inside the cult who then leave the cult."
When my brother started asking (politely) how our religion was founded and how our family got involved and generally just questions about life: they don't believe in evolution or kissing before marriage.
And they would bite his head off about it at age 11. It made me realise they were being defensive because they had no answers. If you can't explain why you're in a religion, you get the f**k out.
yup, i know this tactic. when i would ask priests or nuns a question i would get the "it's a mystery" and shouldn't question. when i asked the rabbis a question and they would search the torah for some answer. sometimes it was found. other times they would just say they didn't know and perhaps in time we may get an answer. i am way more comfortable with 'i don't know' than i am with blind faith.
When I realized that the doors to the 13 story former hotel building we were all living in was locked and you had to sign out to leave.
No one (from children to adults) could leave without an explanation to where they were going and when they'd be back.
Ex-Jehovah’s Witness here.
My first hint that something was wrong was the amount of control exerted in our day to day lives. No beards, no long hair for men, no tattoos or piercings, no shirts with “edgy” artwork like band shirts or shirts with skulls, no entertainment they don’t approve of, etc. Other witnesses are trained to report you to the elders if you’re not following their guidelines, such as if you have a position of respect in the congregation but someone sees that you have a rated R movie, they’ll report you to the elders and you could lose your position and good standing, which will change the way the congregation treats you.
What really tipped it over the edge for me though was their doctrine that all non-witnesses deserve to die at Armageddon by gods hand, simply for not being witnesses. Armageddon is supposed to be urgently imminent, and over 99.9% of the world will die just because they’re not witnesses. That didn’t sit right with me. I had been working in retail for some time, and the people I worked with were every bit as intelligent, compassionate and loving as any witness I knew.
Eventually, these issues became too great for me to bear, and I committed the ultimate sin, researching information that criticizes the religion. We were taught to be terrified of anything that remotely criticizes the religion and it’s leaders. I finally pushed against that fear and did the research. Woke up instantly. Realized why they taught us to fear “apostate” information so much, it’s because they know it’s all true and they don’t want us to see it
That's horrible that they think everyone who isn't a witness just goes to hell. I didn't really know much about Jehovah's Witnesses before, but I really don't like them. They seem like crappy people being the worst kind of Christian possible.
When I realized that God does not use flaming swords to force little girls to shag old dudes.
When I realized that any of those old dudes could still technically ask for me or my daughter as a “spiritual wife” and we’d have no choice.
When a devout member very seriously told her son that she’d rather have him graduate from the Church’s education program than from high school. (Seminary gives neither credit, nor real world experience—It’s just brainwashing.)
When the same member told me that—though it might be hard—she’d offer her children up like Abraham did with Isaac, in a heartbeat, if the Prophet commanded it.
When I realised that medication and painkillers existed, that other people gave them to their children when they were sick, and that my parents could have helped me when I was suffering but chose not to.
And that watching television doesn't make someone a bad person haha.
When I found out I was gay and because of that, I would forever burn in hell, regardless the fact I didn't choose to be gay.
You're off better in hell because there no one harrasses you for being gay.
I would rather be in hell with the gays, then heaven with the"christians".
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I really love when they say that people choose to be gay... as my gay cousin put it..."Why would I choose to be bullied, discriminated against, and marginalized for the crime of being exactly who I am?" God...I hate people.
In the words of a random 8 year old in my neighborhood: People are poopoo (For context, he was being bullied and was mad)
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The same people who tell you that God created you in his image claim that you're going to hell for being what God created you to be.
I once told a religious homophobe that Jesus was gay and their reaction was hilarious, I told them to look at the facts he was a nice guy, immaculately dressed, hung around with sailors, and when he met a prostitute all he did was clean her feet and they went berserk telling me God was going to strike me down(I told them that would just make me more powerful than they could possibly imagine, but sadly the didn't get the reference😂)
Society is better off with you in it, being your true uncloseted self. Shine brightly. You do you boo.
And George Bernard Shaw said that Hell was where the interesting people were.
Don't worry about it. I've already determined hell is going to be fun.
When they told members to park behind the church to hide their cars so they wouldn’t get reported for gathering during the height of the pandemic.
Then they made the choir sign NDA’s over hymns.
Then got really control-y during online services. They made you angle your camera a specific ways, wear certain clothes, not sit so close to your spouse etc
In a prayer, said they loved the leader of the church more than anyone else.
The pandemic really helped my family and I to step back and really examine the organization we dedicated our lives to
I realized it when I was told in order for me to reach the highest level of heaven I would have to participate in "The Blood Atonement" inside of The Mormon temple and that my husband would be required to have multiple wives to reach that same heaven.
I YEETED THE F**KITY F**K OUT!
From Wikipedia "Blood atonement is a disputed doctrine in the history of Mormonism, under which the atonement of Jesus does not redeem an eternal sin. To atone for an eternal sin, the sinner should be killed in a way that allows his blood to be shed upon the ground as a sacrificial offering,..." What the actual f**k?
When my step bro only had to pray for forgiveness after molesting me, no other actions were taken.
You, on the other hand, supposedly had it coming and will burn in a hell for tempting him, right?
Raised in a cult in ireland knows as dippers ( cooneyites)
It was absolutely crazy and my family are all members and had to disown me and shone me when i came out as gay. The other members within the family discussed it and decided it was necessary to strip me of any inheritance and any relationship with my family and other members of our religion.
When I realized I had been running two versions of "truth" in my head my whole life. One was the empirical, fact-based reality we actually live in - the other was my church's version of that reality. One day, it clicked that both can't be true and I was living a lie.
I left and had to reevaluate how I wanted to live my life, and I found my genuine life.
I was fortunate to have a spouse who was not a member of my church to support me. My family, not so much.
My mom being like “we are NOT a cult! I mean sure ex members got hitmen sent after them a couple times but that does NOT define us!” Yeahhh Also the fact that even though me and my siblings repeatedly asked what our religion was, our parents refused to tell us until we were all 16-19 because they didn’t trust us to not look it up or tell other people.
Nothing is wrong. Our Supreme leader knows all and loves us all equally. Sure, he only has sex with the cute teenage girls, but that is his right and responsibility as the one true representative of God. May his seed be strong and plentiful.
I wasn’t supposed to make friends with any other kids unless they went to our church.
ah yeah, isolation is an important tool when you want to brainwash a person, e.i. decide what thoughts are installed in their mind. If you "compete" with someone else on that task, the child may get a more nuanced world view, and realise that better alternatives exists, learn how to think critically and see that they have options, so they might choose not to go with you. All of that is really dangerous when you try to keep them in the herd and make them go in the direction you want them to go in, in order to exploit them.
I was raised in a very strict manner by Church of Christ parents in an extremely legalistic Southern Baptist church. I was extremely sheltered, allowed only one movie (maybe) and one hour of TV a week, ONLY Christian movies, books, TV shows, radio, etc. I never interacted with kids outside of the church bubble, as my parents started a Christian school so that I "wouldn't have to go to the evil public school and be brainwashed."
For me it was when my pastor and my youth pastor took me aside during a church camp and said they were worried about my salvation as I hadn't led anyone in the sinners prayer and didn't go on "visitation," which was door knocking on Sunday afternoons to talk about Jesus. Instead, I played harp as part of the instrumental group every Sunday and Wednesday and sang in the choir when I wasn't playing, which practiced during the same time as visitation.
They basically told me that since I showed most of the other fruits of the spirit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, etc., they thought I was Christian but since I openly boycotted visitation and hadn't borne any of the "bringing new sheep into the flock" fruit by leading anyone in the sinners prayer, I couldn't possibly be a full Christian and they wanted me to work on that. I was 15! I never interacted with non-christians and was part of the instrumental group and choir which practiced during visitation! How could I do that if everyone I knew was already Christian??
It led to some serious questions, but I couldn't really do anything until I escaped to college 3 years later.
Not in a cult per say, but was in one of those evangelical megachurches. Started as a nice corner church; the piety was genuine.
I dont think that the pastor planned the whole thing - he seemed a genuine preacher until the church grew exponentially. Like went from a few hundred members to 15,000 in less than 2 years. Then his main focus was maintaining (entertaining) the masses, which drove him to do stupid things.
Many weird things started happening. Especially, one day he "had a revelation" that the congregation needs to expand further and members have to, I am serious, give out all the GOLD they were wearing. I know a lady that got into serious trouble with her husband because she gave away her gold wedding band.
My last straw was when he promoted himself to Apostle and renamed himself "Paul". Apostle Paul. Okay.
My church made me throw away all of my first edition hard cover Harry Potter books because they were “evil”
I wasn’t even allowed to sell them, so that I wouldn’t cause others to “stumble”
I think about it probably once a week...
I bet the church would've welcomed the profits if you could've sold them?
Raised in a very culty Church of Christ congregation. At 13 I realized how judgmental everybody was and that nothing anybody did ever seemed like enough. I began suffering from depression because I realized nothing I do will ever be enough. I tried to be perfect but it was never good enough for the church or for "God." I noticed the gossip and negative attitudes toward one another when backs were turned, but when speaking to each other everybody pretended they weren't just talking s**t about them. I noticed it was unusual that we were not allowed to hang out with anyone other than people who were in our church. Was weirded out when people from church starting arriving at my house unannounced and inviting themselves in to talk about my church attendance recently. Noticing the s**tty attitude and weird social rules of the church was eventually followed by realized none of it made logical sense, either, as I slowly became a lover of science.
When my other friends came to my church for the first time. Most of my friendships were isolated to church members until middle school.
I started going with my other christian friends to their churches which were all similar to each other. When they came to mine they were uncomfortable and they all started telling me my church was weird.
Around 13 years old a friend's mother asked me a few questions about my church and I had recently gotten the internet so I started asking questions at my church, and the questions were not welcome.
My church was an offshoot, home based, from what is known as "The Way" ministries.
Recently a coworker told me a long story about almost getting indoctrinated to a cult while he was in college. I mentioned how it sounded like "The Way" and his eyes lit up.
Former member here. Yes they are definitely a cult! This was back in the early 80's when I was a member. My mother was murdered in 1982, and just a few months before that I had decided against going on a year long Word Across the World which entailed going with 2-3 members and living in whatever city they picked for us. After my mothers death, I spoke with my former leader on the phone and he had the audacity to say that had I gone on my year long trip and not shunned the church, my mother would still be alive. I cut off all communications after that horrible insensitive comment!
When I learned that, if a women was going to be raped, it would be better for her to kill herself than risk having her “blood lineage” tainted.
When I started attending a school run by my cult after years in public school and it wasn't just the rules that were different, but the social norms.
Example: only allowed to sleep 5 hours a night. Intense bullying for talking to boys after breaking up with my boyfriend. Odd forms of physical/psychological punishment when students broke rules. Being taught that masturbation is unhealthy, that getting piercings put holes in your aura (that can only be filled with diamonds lol), and that sleeping with men puts holes in a woman's arc line (which impacts her ability to bond with her infant).
Most of the things were relatively benign at the beginning. Rumours floating around over the years were always dismissed as people trying to disparage the image of our teacher, or profit financially, or they were 'crazy'. It wasn't until the beginning of last year when the truth about the abuse and corruption in the community started to surface!
Sorry I'm confused - sleeping with a man affects the mothers ability to bond with the child? How are mothers meant to conceive a child and bond with it?
When I heard myself saying, "I'm so lucky I was born into the right religion."
The lawsuit-after-lawsuit and Australian Royal Commission into Child Sex Abuse and seeing one of the 'leaders' lying on camera. Made me squirm in my seat watching.
Not to mention the 'no blood transfusions' policy + shunning former members.
(ExJW here~)
When I was told doing independent research on the doctrine would lead to being shunned by my friends and family. i.e. fall in line bitch. Jehovah's Witness.
Recently.
I'm 41 years old and kind of had the blindfold pulled that a lot of the "evangelical" organizations I've worked with in my life have been cults.
In my teens we went to a church that told you who you could hang out with, what you could watch on TV, what movies you could see, and picked who within the church you could be friends with. 99% of the leaders told you how to run your family but had kids who were either teenage pregnancies or a baby daddy, illiterate homeschoolers, high school drop-outs or drug addicts. There were stretches where we went to church two times a day - even during the week. They encouraged people to get their kids out of school for revival meetings, home schoolers postponed their classes - it was consuming. They started arranged marriages, with several families petitioning my parents for me to marry their daughters - they almost went for it but stopped because it seemed "weird".
As I moved off to college they recommended a mega-church they got a lot of their messages and such from. This church did more of the same. They encouraged high school seniors to put off college a year and PAY THE CHURCH $3,000 for an opportunity to work there for year for an internship program that guaranteed ministry work experience. This program micro-managed your life to the hour, included intense hazing for new members that routinely sent students to the hospital and stacked them all into student housing so that you could focus more on the program.
I was raised with the belief that if I followed all the rules and was a good person, I'd feel a confirmation of everything. 7 year old me was well aware that I had yet to feel it, and that was one of the many things that led to becoming depressed at the age of 12. I kept having questions that I had no answer for other than "God works in mysterious ways." Eventually, I found a YouTube channel where the person told about how they left the religion and I realized my whole life was a lie and that I no longer had to try and believe in something that never worked for me.
The "God works in mysterious ways" is the equivalent of "because I said so." If you can't answer the question, just admit that. If it's a legitimate question with an answer you don't like, admit that too. I'm not sure why so many supposedly Christian groups think it's their business to tell someone what they have to do or how they will be saved. It's between each individual and God. You have no one else to answer to.
My mum was a Jehovah's Witness. She raised me alone, without my father. I was just a kid (around 6-9 yo) and I was not comfortable with everything and everyone. I felt something was wrong, the way they talked, the way they smiled. When she got cancer, at the very beginning she refused some treatments, she even went to a "brother" doctor who claimed he could treat cancer with herbs. When she became very ill, they begin to "let her go" and focus on me. At that time she was at home, with my aunt and my nana with her. When my aunt and my grandma gone crazy about them and forbidden to came at home for me, they just disappeared. The sad side of the story was that she lived in the community for years, so she didn't have other friends than them. Who just dissolved, leaving her alone. She died in 1992.
To answer the question, I think the first time I realized something was wrong was when THEY realized that I realized (sorry for the game of words), the whole community start acting strange, too many attentions, too many smiles, very creepy.
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What have we all learned? Rape is the victims fault, paedophilia is fine when it is a church leader committing it. But no watching unapproved films, that is just plain evil.
Idk to me religion is a tool to keep anyone who can be brainwashed in check and a tool to keep anyone who can't painted off as 'the enemy'. It's a plague on this earth, I'm sad to feel that way as I know it can also be helpful for lots of people.
Yup. Also, I find it also hilarious to see christians point and laugh at the 'cults' and their weird beliefs and rituals without realising they're in the same, albeit slightly milder, clubs. The only difference between a religion and a cult is the size.
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The difference between a cult and a religion is how many people are in it ----- my gramps.
Yes, but once they go out of style for a while, both can be finely aged into a 'mythology' for that retro appeal, and they become respectable again.
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At my first communion at about 10. They make you sit up in front of the entire congregation with the priest and repent for your sins. I was like a deer in headlights as he pressed me to confess something. It felt like an excruciatingly long time while everyone was staring at me and the priest was getting visibly annoyed. What the hell does a 10 year old have to repent for? I eventually came up with calling my siblings names so that they would let me go back to my pew. That moment clicked for me that organized religion was terrible. For the next 10 years I still believed in god but was pretty adamant that belief should be personal within everyone and any attempts to gather or organize was a slippery slope back to shaming others. I waffled back and forth for another 10 years about whether I believed in god at all. Finally in my 30's I decided that concepts like Faith, Charity, Forgiveness, and Love were possible without a god.
Congrats on getting out. Big religions have some really weird stuff going on. Not just small cults.
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Okay, so the law in most places allows freedom of religion meaning you can join any nutcase cult if you are silly enough. Why are children automatically considered members? The law should protect them until they are old enough to make an informed decision about whether they want to be part of it. Specially since so many of these organisations seem to be run by pedophiles.
If people were taught critical thinking at an early age, and not exposed to religion until they were legally adults, religion would soon fade away.
Load More Replies... I went to the Church of God of Prophecy. They wouldn't let you wear jewelry even a wedding ring. When my husband cheated on me and divorced me I was thrown out of the church because you couldn't be a member and divorced. I knew then I was better off out of that church.
Cults, religions and fake news all spread the same way: people have a basic lack of critical thinking skills and always believe something said with a confident tone of voice. It's the same for hitler, trump, jim jones, david icke, and anyone else who fools large amounts of people.
When I was very young, around maybe 7 or 8, I asked my dad about religion (I went to him because he never went to any type of church and my mom was out of the country). He said he doesn't like any religion but I could make up my own mind, go to any as long as I never ask him for money to give away. I thought at the time "what religion would ask a child money?" Going to so many, I realised that none of them was for me. Their stories were nice at the beginning but since question is frowned upon once you pass a certain barrier, it got boring very quickly. Other books had so much more interesting things to share than religions.
As a Christian I can say with certainty that Jahova's Witnesses are messed up.
I'm late to the party, but mine cam in waves. First was a homily where the priest only spoke about how women weren't good enough or pure enough to be priests. I walked out with many other women. We all walked to the front and then out the side door to show our disapproval. Next, I was depressed and praying for a good day for two months. At two months my great grandmother died. I gave up. I told my mother I would no longer be a Catholic and she was pissed. Didn't care. Then so many times hearing about the rape that has occurred within the church, I'm glad I left. PSA You don't have to be religious to be a good person. Just have morals.
Yep. The best people I've ever met are, in fact, atheists. Kind, generous, intelligent, thoughtful.
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Raised by a preacher. She'd use 'examples' and tell stories in her sermons that I knew weren't true/had never happened, and the congregation would take it as gospel. There was also a period of time in which her parenting skills took a nosedive and I struggled for it. No cult though, just good old American Christianity
Christianity isn't too far from a cult anyway.
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WHERE to start? My worth as a woman, human being & Christian is based on what I do/don’t do with my pussy! When my best friend was abducted, tortured & raped they thought the saddest thing was her lost virginity! Men are heads & you don’t go against them EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW he’s wrong because he answers to God, not his wife. My family is still in this fundie Baptist crap, thinks Trump is called by God, and I “have Satan in my hesrt” because “you cannot be a Christian AND a Democrat.”
My former brother in law was the pastor of his own church for twenty years. There was a family that was there for years, husband wife and five young kids. The wife got cancer, which was quite treatable, but (my understanding) the husband convinced her that it was best to trust God and be better, pray harder. Months go by and now the cancer has metastisized and the woman is really suffering with incredible pain. No meds, just "faith". Yeah, she suffered for months and months and is now just dead. Those poor kids lost their mother when they didn't have to and it was probably six months at best before that a-hole was looking for some other woman to take care of those poor kids. Just awful. And in case you were wondering, most everyone else at the church was horrified at this, most of all my BIL pastor. Sometimes it doesn't even take a cult to make someone a cultist.
I was a Mormon. When I went to the temple the first time for the "sacred, not secret" ceremony they don't talk about, and I saw what we had to wear and the rituals we had to perform, I realized, oh crap, I'm in a cult.
this makes me so sad to think about all the people who didn't get to escape, and all the horrible things they endure
Well, if nothing else i am very happy not to be in JW anymore, i left many years ago and some stuff here i would never have thought to happen in there. personally, i did not fit in there, never regretted leaving when i had the chance
Congrats on getting out. I think in some religions there are smaller separate groups doing more extreme things. umm So its like a hidden cult inside a bigger okish group.
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Hold on Jace. Angry is an appropriate reaction. Ride it out. Wishing you all the best.
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Every religion started as a cult. They didn't become a "religion" until there were enough people practicing to make it "legit".
A religion is a cult with political clout and good PR.
Load More Replies... I try to respect all beliefs, but I'll admit, my tolerance for religion is diminishing. It's frequently just one giant cult.
When I first figured out Jesus Christ. Here are the basics. Jesus Christ = God sent Himself to earth so He could kill Himself in order to save us from the sin He created.
That is the problem with the "Trinity." It was invented by people who don't know God, and like a bad excuse, the explanation falls apart rather quickly.
Load More Replies... 9 years ago I was disfellowshipped (excommunicated) (former JW). In hindsight I can say that I was filled with emotional pain, for a molestation I hadn’t really dealt with (as a child), not fitting in with my family (was constantly told it seemed like I was born to the wrong family), my twin sister leaving at 16 (she couldn’t take it anymore), no social life, no friends, chronic depression. I used to cut myself to cope but got in trouble. When I turned 18 I started exploring S&M (NEVER anything sexual because rules) just pain because I promised not to hurt myself, didn’t promise not to let other people hurt me. Well one of those people raped me and I was subsequently disfellowshipped. I literally lost my family overnight. I no longer existed. I was thrust into a world vastly different and omg did I learn what a bubble I grew up in. I tried to go back after 6-8 months and was told I was no where near ready to return so I said f it and started living life. No regrets.
Guys I need some advice now that I have seen this, for those who got out I'm happy ❤ but a friend of mine has sadly been sucked in. He was going through a bad time and met his girlfriend when he was at his lowest, drinking alot etc, well this girl apparently is the daughter of someone important or at least someone that is not "low ranking", he wasn't religious at all before and now suddenly he has seen the light and god found him. The problem isn't that he now believes (catholic/atheist/muslim etc I have no problem), but he cut contact with family and friends and doesn't interact with anyone at all, only with members of the cult/sect. I don't know all the details but apparently those people encourage inbreeding/incest and some other things. Should I leave this to his family to figure out or what can I do to help?
When you can: spend healthy and fun time with him. Let him know you will listen if he wants to talk but do Not pressure him to talk. When you can keep in contact with his family. If this is all too hard - get a little advice from a good therapist that can deal with this. It might take a few tries to find a suitable therapist. This specific situation I call therapist "teacher".
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I remember in Elementary/Primary school there was a kid that was a Jehovah's Witness and He couldn't be in any of the holiday parties because he was only supposed to worship god and not himself. He couldn't even celebrate his own birthday. I still think about him.
So many of these stories are from ex JW's. I spent 25 years and please believe when I say it is absolutely a cult of the worst magnitude. They are just really really good at covering it up. So glad to see so many people got out and see how bad it really is. We are SURVIVORS.
My parents used to take me to a southern baptist church as a kid, which in itself wasn't really the problem. The problem was that my parents started having marital problems, which drove my mom to 'seek' a deeper connection to god. A friend of hers invited her to start going to a mid-week bible study at a different church across town. I just remember that all of sudden, it was like she changed. She began talking about religion constantly, almost always referring specifically to the guy who led the study. "He says this is how we're supposed to do things." "He told us this is how we're supposed to think". "He's so wise." "He really is the smartest man I know." It was supposed to be the same religion as the church we were already going to, and I know the doctrine was basically the same, except mom started acting so weird about everything. There were all these new rules in the house. She destroyed this ceramic thing that my grandmother had made because it was 'evil'. She would tell me things about how women were supposed to act that have messed me up to this day. It definitely affected my view of our religion, and religions in general. After a few years, the group disbanded, so she stopped going, but even thirty years later, she still brings up that guy from time to time. She was never really the same.
I realized at a young age that religion was not for me. It's not that I don't believe that there could possibly be some form of higher something, I usually just refer to the universe, because it's something I can see and know that it's there. Being gay is part of that, it's not something I chose, but I don't want to be a part of any thing that would condemn me for it. My mom likes to talk about god, and I always ask her, if there are so many versions of God through all these different religions, they can't all be right. How can they all be right? The answer is, they can't, and that's usually a bit of a reminder / wake up call for her. Religion has messed up so many things, caused so many wrongful deaths, it's so sad to watch people get brainwashed or make bad choices because of their religion. It's like a bad drug addiction, although I think it may be harder to get people to quit their religion then to quit using drugs.
It can take great courage to leave a cult / religion. The people who have posted the least may be very close to the trauma still. There can be heaps of guilt feelings after. These people are braver than you can know ( unless you are one of them). There can be heaps of fear and isolation and .... just heaps of too much to work through. I am grateful for everyone who could post here. Please know that you are not alone, and this also-a-survivor is barracking for you. I have learnt something from everyone that posted thank you.
I can honestly say I didn’t know until today that JW was a cult. Seriously, didn’t know.
I left Christianity because as I got older, I just started questioning how the events in the bible actually could have happened. Plus the number of racists and homophobes in my church was through the roof.
Actress Priyanka Chopra's maternal grandmother was a Jacobite Christian. She got trained as a nurse. She served in another region and married a Hindu, though she changed her name, she always was a practicing Christian and frequently helped her Church. Her only wish was to be buried next to her father, who had also designed the Church (I think her family donated land for burial, though I don't remember where I read it). But the Church straight out refused to bury her for marrying a Hindu. She had spent her whole life in service of people - she was a nurse, a freedom fighter and a legislator. Yet, her final wish was denied by the Church. She was buried at another Church 55 km away.
Religion is hasn't ever been about God. The word church is just another word for government and tithing the samething as taxes. It's all about power and control concern for your soul, like a new law in the name of protecting the people. There is the wonderful image of the shepherd tending his flock, guarding lambs protectioning them from danger. It never works out for the sheep, the shepard, takes the wool for money and slaughters the sheep to eat. Sheep don't need a shepard, they can find food and water themselves. When predators threaten a herd ain't nothing to mess with, they pack a lot of force when they butt, I know because I worked on a family sheep ranch.
When they talked about sacrificing an actual goat. I knew something felt weird. They were ALWAYS asking me a ton of questions and wanted me to hang out with them and do church things with them constantly. It was weird.
I have always been fascinated by other people's fascination with religion, it was why I studied theology in college. I am NOT christian, I am a pagan. I never found christianity to have any answers or guidance, just a lot of judgement. I had friends in JW, LDS, and a few others, I did what I could to help, but it ultimately, was up to them.
What have we all learned? Rape is the victims fault, paedophilia is fine when it is a church leader committing it. But no watching unapproved films, that is just plain evil.
Idk to me religion is a tool to keep anyone who can be brainwashed in check and a tool to keep anyone who can't painted off as 'the enemy'. It's a plague on this earth, I'm sad to feel that way as I know it can also be helpful for lots of people.
Yup. Also, I find it also hilarious to see christians point and laugh at the 'cults' and their weird beliefs and rituals without realising they're in the same, albeit slightly milder, clubs. The only difference between a religion and a cult is the size.
Load More Replies... The difference between a cult and a religion is how many people are in it ----- my gramps.
Yes, but once they go out of style for a while, both can be finely aged into a 'mythology' for that retro appeal, and they become respectable again.
Load More Replies... At my first communion at about 10. They make you sit up in front of the entire congregation with the priest and repent for your sins. I was like a deer in headlights as he pressed me to confess something. It felt like an excruciatingly long time while everyone was staring at me and the priest was getting visibly annoyed. What the hell does a 10 year old have to repent for? I eventually came up with calling my siblings names so that they would let me go back to my pew. That moment clicked for me that organized religion was terrible. For the next 10 years I still believed in god but was pretty adamant that belief should be personal within everyone and any attempts to gather or organize was a slippery slope back to shaming others. I waffled back and forth for another 10 years about whether I believed in god at all. Finally in my 30's I decided that concepts like Faith, Charity, Forgiveness, and Love were possible without a god.
Congrats on getting out. Big religions have some really weird stuff going on. Not just small cults.
Load More Replies... Okay, so the law in most places allows freedom of religion meaning you can join any nutcase cult if you are silly enough. Why are children automatically considered members? The law should protect them until they are old enough to make an informed decision about whether they want to be part of it. Specially since so many of these organisations seem to be run by pedophiles.
If people were taught critical thinking at an early age, and not exposed to religion until they were legally adults, religion would soon fade away.
Load More Replies... I went to the Church of God of Prophecy. They wouldn't let you wear jewelry even a wedding ring. When my husband cheated on me and divorced me I was thrown out of the church because you couldn't be a member and divorced. I knew then I was better off out of that church.
Cults, religions and fake news all spread the same way: people have a basic lack of critical thinking skills and always believe something said with a confident tone of voice. It's the same for hitler, trump, jim jones, david icke, and anyone else who fools large amounts of people.
When I was very young, around maybe 7 or 8, I asked my dad about religion (I went to him because he never went to any type of church and my mom was out of the country). He said he doesn't like any religion but I could make up my own mind, go to any as long as I never ask him for money to give away. I thought at the time "what religion would ask a child money?" Going to so many, I realised that none of them was for me. Their stories were nice at the beginning but since question is frowned upon once you pass a certain barrier, it got boring very quickly. Other books had so much more interesting things to share than religions.
As a Christian I can say with certainty that Jahova's Witnesses are messed up.
I'm late to the party, but mine cam in waves. First was a homily where the priest only spoke about how women weren't good enough or pure enough to be priests. I walked out with many other women. We all walked to the front and then out the side door to show our disapproval. Next, I was depressed and praying for a good day for two months. At two months my great grandmother died. I gave up. I told my mother I would no longer be a Catholic and she was pissed. Didn't care. Then so many times hearing about the rape that has occurred within the church, I'm glad I left. PSA You don't have to be religious to be a good person. Just have morals.
Yep. The best people I've ever met are, in fact, atheists. Kind, generous, intelligent, thoughtful.
Load More Replies... Raised by a preacher. She'd use 'examples' and tell stories in her sermons that I knew weren't true/had never happened, and the congregation would take it as gospel. There was also a period of time in which her parenting skills took a nosedive and I struggled for it. No cult though, just good old American Christianity
Christianity isn't too far from a cult anyway.
Load More Replies... WHERE to start? My worth as a woman, human being & Christian is based on what I do/don’t do with my pussy! When my best friend was abducted, tortured & raped they thought the saddest thing was her lost virginity! Men are heads & you don’t go against them EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW he’s wrong because he answers to God, not his wife. My family is still in this fundie Baptist crap, thinks Trump is called by God, and I “have Satan in my hesrt” because “you cannot be a Christian AND a Democrat.”
My former brother in law was the pastor of his own church for twenty years. There was a family that was there for years, husband wife and five young kids. The wife got cancer, which was quite treatable, but (my understanding) the husband convinced her that it was best to trust God and be better, pray harder. Months go by and now the cancer has metastisized and the woman is really suffering with incredible pain. No meds, just "faith". Yeah, she suffered for months and months and is now just dead. Those poor kids lost their mother when they didn't have to and it was probably six months at best before that a-hole was looking for some other woman to take care of those poor kids. Just awful. And in case you were wondering, most everyone else at the church was horrified at this, most of all my BIL pastor. Sometimes it doesn't even take a cult to make someone a cultist.
I was a Mormon. When I went to the temple the first time for the "sacred, not secret" ceremony they don't talk about, and I saw what we had to wear and the rituals we had to perform, I realized, oh crap, I'm in a cult.
this makes me so sad to think about all the people who didn't get to escape, and all the horrible things they endure
Well, if nothing else i am very happy not to be in JW anymore, i left many years ago and some stuff here i would never have thought to happen in there. personally, i did not fit in there, never regretted leaving when i had the chance
Congrats on getting out. I think in some religions there are smaller separate groups doing more extreme things. umm So its like a hidden cult inside a bigger okish group.
Load More Replies... Hold on Jace. Angry is an appropriate reaction. Ride it out. Wishing you all the best.
Load More Replies... Every religion started as a cult. They didn't become a "religion" until there were enough people practicing to make it "legit".
A religion is a cult with political clout and good PR.
Load More Replies... I try to respect all beliefs, but I'll admit, my tolerance for religion is diminishing. It's frequently just one giant cult.
When I first figured out Jesus Christ. Here are the basics. Jesus Christ = God sent Himself to earth so He could kill Himself in order to save us from the sin He created.
That is the problem with the "Trinity." It was invented by people who don't know God, and like a bad excuse, the explanation falls apart rather quickly.
Load More Replies... 9 years ago I was disfellowshipped (excommunicated) (former JW). In hindsight I can say that I was filled with emotional pain, for a molestation I hadn’t really dealt with (as a child), not fitting in with my family (was constantly told it seemed like I was born to the wrong family), my twin sister leaving at 16 (she couldn’t take it anymore), no social life, no friends, chronic depression. I used to cut myself to cope but got in trouble. When I turned 18 I started exploring S&M (NEVER anything sexual because rules) just pain because I promised not to hurt myself, didn’t promise not to let other people hurt me. Well one of those people raped me and I was subsequently disfellowshipped. I literally lost my family overnight. I no longer existed. I was thrust into a world vastly different and omg did I learn what a bubble I grew up in. I tried to go back after 6-8 months and was told I was no where near ready to return so I said f it and started living life. No regrets.
Guys I need some advice now that I have seen this, for those who got out I'm happy ❤ but a friend of mine has sadly been sucked in. He was going through a bad time and met his girlfriend when he was at his lowest, drinking alot etc, well this girl apparently is the daughter of someone important or at least someone that is not "low ranking", he wasn't religious at all before and now suddenly he has seen the light and god found him. The problem isn't that he now believes (catholic/atheist/muslim etc I have no problem), but he cut contact with family and friends and doesn't interact with anyone at all, only with members of the cult/sect. I don't know all the details but apparently those people encourage inbreeding/incest and some other things. Should I leave this to his family to figure out or what can I do to help?
When you can: spend healthy and fun time with him. Let him know you will listen if he wants to talk but do Not pressure him to talk. When you can keep in contact with his family. If this is all too hard - get a little advice from a good therapist that can deal with this. It might take a few tries to find a suitable therapist. This specific situation I call therapist "teacher".
Load More Replies... I remember in Elementary/Primary school there was a kid that was a Jehovah's Witness and He couldn't be in any of the holiday parties because he was only supposed to worship god and not himself. He couldn't even celebrate his own birthday. I still think about him.
So many of these stories are from ex JW's. I spent 25 years and please believe when I say it is absolutely a cult of the worst magnitude. They are just really really good at covering it up. So glad to see so many people got out and see how bad it really is. We are SURVIVORS.
My parents used to take me to a southern baptist church as a kid, which in itself wasn't really the problem. The problem was that my parents started having marital problems, which drove my mom to 'seek' a deeper connection to god. A friend of hers invited her to start going to a mid-week bible study at a different church across town. I just remember that all of sudden, it was like she changed. She began talking about religion constantly, almost always referring specifically to the guy who led the study. "He says this is how we're supposed to do things." "He told us this is how we're supposed to think". "He's so wise." "He really is the smartest man I know." It was supposed to be the same religion as the church we were already going to, and I know the doctrine was basically the same, except mom started acting so weird about everything. There were all these new rules in the house. She destroyed this ceramic thing that my grandmother had made because it was 'evil'. She would tell me things about how women were supposed to act that have messed me up to this day. It definitely affected my view of our religion, and religions in general. After a few years, the group disbanded, so she stopped going, but even thirty years later, she still brings up that guy from time to time. She was never really the same.
I realized at a young age that religion was not for me. It's not that I don't believe that there could possibly be some form of higher something, I usually just refer to the universe, because it's something I can see and know that it's there. Being gay is part of that, it's not something I chose, but I don't want to be a part of any thing that would condemn me for it. My mom likes to talk about god, and I always ask her, if there are so many versions of God through all these different religions, they can't all be right. How can they all be right? The answer is, they can't, and that's usually a bit of a reminder / wake up call for her. Religion has messed up so many things, caused so many wrongful deaths, it's so sad to watch people get brainwashed or make bad choices because of their religion. It's like a bad drug addiction, although I think it may be harder to get people to quit their religion then to quit using drugs.
It can take great courage to leave a cult / religion. The people who have posted the least may be very close to the trauma still. There can be heaps of guilt feelings after. These people are braver than you can know ( unless you are one of them). There can be heaps of fear and isolation and .... just heaps of too much to work through. I am grateful for everyone who could post here. Please know that you are not alone, and this also-a-survivor is barracking for you. I have learnt something from everyone that posted thank you.
I can honestly say I didn’t know until today that JW was a cult. Seriously, didn’t know.
I left Christianity because as I got older, I just started questioning how the events in the bible actually could have happened. Plus the number of racists and homophobes in my church was through the roof.
Actress Priyanka Chopra's maternal grandmother was a Jacobite Christian. She got trained as a nurse. She served in another region and married a Hindu, though she changed her name, she always was a practicing Christian and frequently helped her Church. Her only wish was to be buried next to her father, who had also designed the Church (I think her family donated land for burial, though I don't remember where I read it). But the Church straight out refused to bury her for marrying a Hindu. She had spent her whole life in service of people - she was a nurse, a freedom fighter and a legislator. Yet, her final wish was denied by the Church. She was buried at another Church 55 km away.
Religion is hasn't ever been about God. The word church is just another word for government and tithing the samething as taxes. It's all about power and control concern for your soul, like a new law in the name of protecting the people. There is the wonderful image of the shepherd tending his flock, guarding lambs protectioning them from danger. It never works out for the sheep, the shepard, takes the wool for money and slaughters the sheep to eat. Sheep don't need a shepard, they can find food and water themselves. When predators threaten a herd ain't nothing to mess with, they pack a lot of force when they butt, I know because I worked on a family sheep ranch.
When they talked about sacrificing an actual goat. I knew something felt weird. They were ALWAYS asking me a ton of questions and wanted me to hang out with them and do church things with them constantly. It was weird.
I have always been fascinated by other people's fascination with religion, it was why I studied theology in college. I am NOT christian, I am a pagan. I never found christianity to have any answers or guidance, just a lot of judgement. I had friends in JW, LDS, and a few others, I did what I could to help, but it ultimately, was up to them.
