Mom Excludes Her Black Stepdaughter From A Christmas Family Pic, Is Surprised By People Calling Her Racist
Recently, a story posted on r/AITA received quite a backlash from people. The post comes from a 32-year-old mom of 4 kids, one of which is her husband’s daughter from a previous marriage.
“I am 32F, my husband Jack is 36M. We have Lydia, Carol and Solomon together. Jack has Enephrine from a different marriage.” For the last week of summer before the kids started school, the family went on vacation. Mom said she wanted to take Christmas card photos while they were away since it’s “a common theme in her family.”
“Here’s the problem,” wrote mom. She continued: “Jack is white, but Enephrine’s mom is black and she turned out looking very, very much like her.” It turned out, the woman didn’t want Enephrine in the family photograph because, in her own words, her parents are pretty racist and would make a fuss about it.
As you can imagine, this didn’t go well with the people in the r/AITA community. Not only was the woman dubbed an a-hole, she received tons of backlash for, well, being awfully racist.
One woman has recently shared a story about how she didn’t want her stepdaughter in a family photo because she feared her racist parents would make a fuss out of it
Image credits: Chris Benson (not the actual photo)
This is the post she shared on r/AITA where people in the community immediately detected mom’s racism
Multiracial Americans make up a growing demographic, estimated at 9 million in the last census. The number of Americans who identify as multiracial is growing at three times faster than the normal population, according to the Pew Research Center. Sadly, just like virtually every person of color, multiracial people have encountered racism at some point in their lives.
What’s even more disturbing is that racial prejudice between family members is not an uncommon occurrence. According to this 2015 Pew study, a vast majority of multiracial people, 90%, say they have not been mistreated by a relative or extended family member because of their mixed-race background.
What makes it even more problematic is that being in denial about systemic racism is often deeply embedded into families and their members. In some families, racial background becomes a taboo they refuse to talk about, silencing their heritage, which is often just as painful as racism itself.
People dubbed mom the a-hole and said she’s a racist herself
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Exactly. She said there was limited contact and they never met the girl. So how would anything they said when getting a card would even get back to her?
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Exactly THIS. Most atrocities in history were allowed to happen and to continue happening because of accommodating people, people who did not want to "rock the boat".
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Yep, asshole. More importantly, as the child is 8, you're the bridge between her and her step-grandparents. Don't let their slurs get to her. Don't let her ever hear them. Sever that connection and protect your stepdaughter just like you would if your parents were coming after your bio-kids. (Also, Dad is an asshole for telling the 8 year-old this. Unless she specifically asked why she was excluded, this isn't something you offload onto a child because you're mad at Stepmom.)
The dad’s reaction needs to be addressed too! OP might have married someone just as self righteous and authoritative as her parents. Not good.
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Exactly. She said there was limited contact and they never met the girl. So how would anything they said when getting a card would even get back to her?
Load More Replies... Exactly THIS. Most atrocities in history were allowed to happen and to continue happening because of accommodating people, people who did not want to "rock the boat".
Load More Replies... Yep, asshole. More importantly, as the child is 8, you're the bridge between her and her step-grandparents. Don't let their slurs get to her. Don't let her ever hear them. Sever that connection and protect your stepdaughter just like you would if your parents were coming after your bio-kids. (Also, Dad is an asshole for telling the 8 year-old this. Unless she specifically asked why she was excluded, this isn't something you offload onto a child because you're mad at Stepmom.)
The dad’s reaction needs to be addressed too! OP might have married someone just as self righteous and authoritative as her parents. Not good.
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