Quarantined People Are Sharing Their Failed Baking Attempts And Here Are 30 Of The Funniest Ones
We’re all craving something sweet and soothing during the quarantine. So why not try out that banana bread recipe that's been hanging on your fridge for over two years now? I mean, the ten boxes of eggs, aka your coronapocalypse hoard, ain't gonna bake themselves.
The pans are flying in no time and the solo baking show is on. The timer goes off and there you have it—a doughy monstrosity and impressive baking fail. Bored Panda has collected the most unsuccessful attempts right down below that will hopefully spark your inner chef, because whatever you make… it can’t be that bad. Been there, baked that? Share your quarantine bake-off stories in the comments!
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Just don’t ask...
You’re not the only one considering making banana bread. The global pandemic has turned many into avid home bakers. In fact, there are so many of them that suppliers have been forced to increase production.
Bloomberg reports that baking staples have become a sort-of luxury. Baking yeast sales were up 457% over last year for the week ending March 28. Flour was up 155%, butter up 73%, baking powder up 178%, and eggs up 48%.
Robert Harper, the president at Hopkinsville Milling Co., said the company is packing twice as much flour as usual. Harper commented: “It started to look like Thanksgiving and Christmas all rolled into one. People have time on their hands and are trying to save some money.”
Cut them up post bake when they’re still a little soft. Or if they’re a little hard crumble them up into large chunks and sprinkle on ice cream. Nom.
My make-shift attempt at making a bunny failed me, but I think I baked a fat cat instead?
Bored Panda contacted Beth Coombes, a professional pastry chef and the owner of bespoke bakery Pili Pala Cakehouse, who told us about everything you need to know to bake in quarantine like a pro.
Beth suggests always reading your recipe in full before just going for it. “Baking is such a science and things must be done in the correct order to achieve the end result you want,” she explained. Plus, always weigh your ingredients before starting so you can concentrate on the method while making it.
So...this looked to be baking perfectly and happily in the oven...this was the surprise on the other side
“Ummm....are the cinnamon buns supposed to try and escape from the pan?
Epextecation vs reality
The pastry chef named a couple of beginner’s mistakes that are best to avoid. One of the most common ones is setting the oven to the right temperature. “Cakes cook on so many different temperatures to get different results, so don’t think 'ah, this temp will do,' as it might not work, and you’ll learn that the hard way.”
Another common mistake that anyone who is new to baking could make is simply not knowing the technique. “For example, 'beating' or 'folding' techniques. If you’re not sure what a word means, give it a little google first and you’ll be good to go.”
If you can decide on a recipe to try out when in quarantine, Beth has shared her super-easy salted caramel brownies recipe with all the Pandas out there. The ingredients you’ll need are: 170g dark chocolate, 170g unsalted butter, 3 eggs, 225g caster sugar, 50g cocoa, 50g plain flour, ½ tsp sea salt, 100g salted caramel.
“Preheat your oven to 150℃ and line a 11”/8” tin. First, melt the chocolate and butter together and leave to cool for a couple of minutes. Then, whisk your eggs and sugar together until combined before adding your chocolatey butter mixture. Continue to gently whisk until it all comes together, then add your cocoa powder, flour, and salt. Fold this together, to make sure it’s all smooth and combined—it will be super-thick and shiny.”
“Lastly, add half of your salted caramel to the brownie, fold, and combine. Pour this in the tin, then drizzle and swirl the other half through the brownie. Give it a couple of taps on the table to level it out and bake it in the oven for 20-25 minutes.”
“Once ready, it should still be a little wobbly in the center, but crusted and set around the edges. You must leave this to cool for a few hours before cutting into squares and indulging—trust me, it will totally be worth it!” Bon appetit!
Baking fail. My macarons exploded and didn’t grow feet.
I’m pretty sure it had to do with my almond flour. I made my own and I think it was too moist. I haven’t been able to find ready made almond flour but almonds are readily available. I’m gonna try again
In my attempt at making pizza, i discovered my yeast had expired in 2010. And the supermarkets had ran out of yeast. Then I read about making yeast from dried fruit. I used dried longan and here is an interesting outcome. The dough was stretchy and after baking, I ended up with a very pleasant tasting crispy and slightly chewy sweetish flatbread. It went really well with crunchy peanut butter
Or make a sourdough starter. You won't get your pizza for a week, but it'll be awesome.
No need to make a starter. I guarantee ten of your friends or neighbors have one they can share at this point. I've given away 12 starts so far.
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This reminds me of the time that my Mom and I tried to make vegan pizza bread. Let's just say the texture was like a cross between the Desert plains and the Moon.
you can still use the expired yeast, but Instead of mixing the yeast dry with all the other ingredients, first mix yeast with some of the warm liquid at 110 F along with sugar and let it sit for around15 minutes or until you see some foam. Once you see a good amount foam developed, mix it with the rest of the ingredients. reason is that 90% of the yeast may have died, but the ones that are alive will reproduce back pretty quickly.
You can find a recipe for dough without yeast online! I have tried, and they are not bad at all!
You can store yeast in the freezer. I've got some that's at least 2 years old and still works fine.
That looks interesting enough to eat... Try Greek yoghurt, equal amounts of flour, though I use Rice flour for a gluten free base... just have to get the right consistency b4 rolling out on ones pizza pan.... this has always worked quite well!
Considering the constraints you were under, I'd totally consider this a win.
Yeast expired in 2010???? So people don't clean their pantry with regularity???
That's actually interesting - kudos for trying the dried longan. I wouldn't have thought of that.
200g of sf flour and 150g natural Greek yogurt mix together and gather it into a ball then kneed. Use extra flour if too wet or lil bit more yogurt if too dry. Roll it out with extra flour for for dusting. That’s the pizza base. Mix enough tomato purée with lil water together. Spread it on the pizza base. I make this every week. 2 ingreediant pizza base. Hope this helps
In Italy we love this. It's tipycal of Rome, "scrocchiarella" it sounds like crunchy.
Forget the yeast. Unless you are making deep dish pizza, you don't need the dough to rise. Mix 1/4 tsp baking powder & 1/4 tsp salt into 3 cups all purpose flour. Cut in 12 Tbs (a sick and a half) cold butter, or margarine, until crumbly (you can substitute all or some of the butter with shortening. I do 50/50). Mix in 1 cup milk (any kind). Then add a little more flour just until the dough doesn't stick to the bowl. Cover & refrigerate for at least 1 hour. Roll it out on a lightly flour surface, or just press sraight into the pan, to desired thickness. Prick it all over with a fork and bake at 350° F for 8 minutes. Take crust from the oven add sauce & toppings and bake again until cheese is bubbly (about 12 minutes). I've been making pizza like that for years. I have the recipe memorized because we make it so often. Also, this dough makes excellent calzones and hot pockets.
Lady Cassandra O'Brien. Δ17, Doctor Who season 1 with Christopher Eccleston
Sadly my challahday easter bunny didn't quite work out. Seems to have come down with some hip dysplasia, ear disconnection, and a touch of elephantiasis in the oven... I think the main culprits here were uneven working of the various strands, slight underproofing, and perhaps some rusty baking skills. Next time..
I tried to make pretzels and they went MUTANT
i am normally a good baker. i found a recipe for egg custard pie. i told my husband 2 go 2 the store to get the ingredients (only 1 person per family is allowed in the store and i cannot be trusted because i come home with a whole bunch of junk food lol). 1 of the ingredients were pie crust, i told him the pie crust are in the refrigerated section near the eggs and where the cookie dough is. he came home with pie crust from the freezer in a pie plate already....i have never seen these in my life and the pie dish was not deep. this was the outcome of using pie crust i have never made before. apparently the egg custard somehow got under the pie crusts while baking, and that big bubble in the middle is the pie crust
Lesson 1. Make your own pie crust. Lesson 2. Pastry formula: half fat to flour. EG. 8 oz flour 4 oz fat. Lesson 3. Use butter, freeze it, grate it into the flour, cut together with a butter knife, add COLD water( 1/4 to 1/2 a cup) gradually, stirring gently until dough comes together, leave in fridge for 30 mins before rolling out (this lets the gluten in the flour relax and stops the pastry being tough) Enjoy
This are the kind of pictures that you just keep laughing at even though you can’t figure out what exactly is so funny about them.
Note: this post originally had 45 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
turns out angel food cake turns into a cake golem if you put it in the nordicware ghost pan. ghostttt-5...143aea.jpg 
What I learned today is: take a pic of everything you cook in the oven before, just in case. At least I'll have an evidence of what I tried to do :)
Qq123123, but you can't find the decency to use proper grammar when telling us about a job? Scam.
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I am sitting here laughing at these while knowing that if I were to try ANY of these the results would be as bad or much, much worse ☺.
I really was hungry hungry hungry for sourdough bread. But I live in one of the most dangerous CV hotspots in the US. I'm not going to risk death by CV for a piece of bread. No problem! I got my sister to send me a long-forgotten 1983 recipe she wrote down watching my Grandma make her really really really good bread. She scribbled here notes on a pad as G-mom mixed everything. So I made it. I misread the amount of salt. Instead of two teaspoons, I put in two tablespoons. OOPS.... I am not enough of a cook to catch that mistake. Now I know what salt water fish taste when they sip a little drink from the ocean... It got eaten. I choked it down with a smile, and edited the recipe.
I went to a pastry making cooking camp and the recipe called for a 1/4 of a teaspoon vanilla extract. Instead my partner puts in a 1/4 CUP! That’s about 8 dollars btw
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Unlike just simple cooking..baking is a science. You have to follow the measurements and the instructions to the letter. You can't just toss ingredients into a bowl and hope for the best. This is one reason I'm an excellent cook, but a lousy baker. I can throw ingredients into a dish and make a great casserole or 3 course dinner...but I can't make cookies without them turning out flat and chewy....
At least they tried. I love that everyone is getting back to basics, learning things they either haven't done before, or trying to improve upon long forgotten skills. I've seen some bakers/cooks "gatekeeping" things like flour and yeast. They get angry that people are taking these things from the supermarket, when they're not sure what to do with it. I think it's great. No one is going to be perfect straight away; you might have to make glue a thousand times before you get edible pasta. I'm trying my hand at sewing again, and I'm really, really bad at it. Only one way to improve though.
Baking is not for the impatient, you need to make sure you're keeping a close eye on whatevers in your oven, otherwise you're likely to forget and burn, at least if you're a beginner. If you're not though, you get to the point you instinctively know to bake something for "X" amount of minutes. But honestly, I've been baking since childhood, and I'm 24 now, and still make mistakes, happens to all of us!
Baking takes practise. Pre heating is very important. Probably worth buying an oven thermometer to check it is getting to the correct temp.
Definitely get an oven thermometer. And put it in different spots in the oven periodically. My first oven was so old, the numbers were worn off on the k**b. Also, it had a hot spot on the left back side. It was free, so I didn't complain, but a thermometer was VERY helpful.
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my sister (who is a pretty good baker for the most part) was making cookies and we didn't have any butter, so she used ghee (nasty i hate that stuff) and lets just say the cookies didn't turn out and the house stunk for hours... :/
Oops. It's the bit they take out of ghee (clarified butter) that you really need for cookies. It was worth a shot though, a lot of very tasty recipes are the result of "mistakes".
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I had thought my baking was bad since I started during the quarantine but seeing this made me not loose hope, I'm still better🤣🤣
A little practice and you'll be an expert - now's the perfect time!
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Great point Hans, why don’t you make a post about something else in that case? I can’t wait to see it
I’ve been baking and there is one thing I learned. Never bake raisins. Ever.
Hans, most posts are usually about current things, and since quarantine is current, that is a popular topic to be posted about, since it is relatable.
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What's just as bad: Hubby wanted pumpkin pie. Made it from scratch (used pumpkin from our own garden too), used a tart crust recipe and tin, because he HATES crust. Dialed back the spices as requested. Came out perfect, silky smooth and mild. He COMPLAINED that it wasn't "chunky" like his mother's pie, was still to spicy, and had too much crust. Later whined: "I wIsH yOu'D mAkE aNoTheR pIe!" F*#k it, I let the rest of the pumpkins sit and rot.
Update: Felt a bit guilty about this one. By "rot", I meant I just left them in cold underground storage for months. Funny thing about pumpkins - the little suckers are RESILIENT. Months later, the flesh gets a bit stringy - not suitable for "chunky" pie (HA HA!), but scrape the flesh and bake it, and it makes an absolutely FINE puree. I am currently having an fantastic pumpkin cheesecake made from Chef John's recipe with pumpkin picked 7 months ago! Edit: don't forget to drain it - pumpkin is mostly water...
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I think "Home Economics" needs to be added back into the school curriculum. So many of the errors are easily avoided with a little baking education. Oh well... Everyone keep trying (and read the recipe first all the way through and then follow it exactly)
OMG - these were priceless! I'm just very happy I've loved to bake since I was a kid. That didn't stop my Mom from making Disappearing Marshamallow Brownies with confectioner sugar instead of flour though. And that happened BEFORE coronavirus! LOL!
Some people are not measuring, not enough heat in the oven or way too much. Baking is nothing like cooking. It's a science.
Yes, you can get an oven thermometer and just leave it in there, and they're not expensive.
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well ,,, maybe you all need cooking lesson, or maybe need to get better cooking books or if your reading the cooking books and not understanding need to learn to read better..... well any way if your grandmother is a great cook and still around let her teach you, even your mother, if not borrow someone elses mother or grandmother to teach you .. i bet they will gladly teach you.
Um, just follow the recipe? Use the right temperature, baking times right from the recipe, any questions about terms just google them (as another commentor did).
I didn't realize how many baking terms people misunderstand until I started teaching my husband to bake. If you THINK you know what it means, then you won't Google it. He thought that "preheat" was a joke because of a George Carlin bit, so he was just shoving things in the oven and then turning it on. He didn't level anything. He thought "add more flour as needed" meant you HAD to add more flour, and he thought "place 2-inches apart" was just a suggestion. And, for reasons I will never understand, he mashed the chocolate chip cookie dough with a potato masher. He said it was too hard to stir it with a spoon. When I finally stopped laughing, I asked him why he didn't use the mixer. He said he didn't see any sense in dirtying up the mixer (but it was ok to dirty up the potato masher?).
Load More Replies...
turns out angel food cake turns into a cake golem if you put it in the nordicware ghost pan. ghostttt-5...143aea.jpg
What I learned today is: take a pic of everything you cook in the oven before, just in case. At least I'll have an evidence of what I tried to do :)
Qq123123, but you can't find the decency to use proper grammar when telling us about a job? Scam.
Load More Replies... I am sitting here laughing at these while knowing that if I were to try ANY of these the results would be as bad or much, much worse ☺.
I really was hungry hungry hungry for sourdough bread. But I live in one of the most dangerous CV hotspots in the US. I'm not going to risk death by CV for a piece of bread. No problem! I got my sister to send me a long-forgotten 1983 recipe she wrote down watching my Grandma make her really really really good bread. She scribbled here notes on a pad as G-mom mixed everything. So I made it. I misread the amount of salt. Instead of two teaspoons, I put in two tablespoons. OOPS.... I am not enough of a cook to catch that mistake. Now I know what salt water fish taste when they sip a little drink from the ocean... It got eaten. I choked it down with a smile, and edited the recipe.
I went to a pastry making cooking camp and the recipe called for a 1/4 of a teaspoon vanilla extract. Instead my partner puts in a 1/4 CUP! That’s about 8 dollars btw
Load More Replies... Unlike just simple cooking..baking is a science. You have to follow the measurements and the instructions to the letter. You can't just toss ingredients into a bowl and hope for the best. This is one reason I'm an excellent cook, but a lousy baker. I can throw ingredients into a dish and make a great casserole or 3 course dinner...but I can't make cookies without them turning out flat and chewy....
At least they tried. I love that everyone is getting back to basics, learning things they either haven't done before, or trying to improve upon long forgotten skills. I've seen some bakers/cooks "gatekeeping" things like flour and yeast. They get angry that people are taking these things from the supermarket, when they're not sure what to do with it. I think it's great. No one is going to be perfect straight away; you might have to make glue a thousand times before you get edible pasta. I'm trying my hand at sewing again, and I'm really, really bad at it. Only one way to improve though.
Baking is not for the impatient, you need to make sure you're keeping a close eye on whatevers in your oven, otherwise you're likely to forget and burn, at least if you're a beginner. If you're not though, you get to the point you instinctively know to bake something for "X" amount of minutes. But honestly, I've been baking since childhood, and I'm 24 now, and still make mistakes, happens to all of us!
Baking takes practise. Pre heating is very important. Probably worth buying an oven thermometer to check it is getting to the correct temp.
Definitely get an oven thermometer. And put it in different spots in the oven periodically. My first oven was so old, the numbers were worn off on the k**b. Also, it had a hot spot on the left back side. It was free, so I didn't complain, but a thermometer was VERY helpful.
Load More Replies... my sister (who is a pretty good baker for the most part) was making cookies and we didn't have any butter, so she used ghee (nasty i hate that stuff) and lets just say the cookies didn't turn out and the house stunk for hours... :/
Oops. It's the bit they take out of ghee (clarified butter) that you really need for cookies. It was worth a shot though, a lot of very tasty recipes are the result of "mistakes".
Load More Replies... I had thought my baking was bad since I started during the quarantine but seeing this made me not loose hope, I'm still better🤣🤣
A little practice and you'll be an expert - now's the perfect time!
Load More Replies... Great point Hans, why don’t you make a post about something else in that case? I can’t wait to see it
I’ve been baking and there is one thing I learned. Never bake raisins. Ever.
Hans, most posts are usually about current things, and since quarantine is current, that is a popular topic to be posted about, since it is relatable.
Load More Replies... What's just as bad: Hubby wanted pumpkin pie. Made it from scratch (used pumpkin from our own garden too), used a tart crust recipe and tin, because he HATES crust. Dialed back the spices as requested. Came out perfect, silky smooth and mild. He COMPLAINED that it wasn't "chunky" like his mother's pie, was still to spicy, and had too much crust. Later whined: "I wIsH yOu'D mAkE aNoTheR pIe!" F*#k it, I let the rest of the pumpkins sit and rot.
Update: Felt a bit guilty about this one. By "rot", I meant I just left them in cold underground storage for months. Funny thing about pumpkins - the little suckers are RESILIENT. Months later, the flesh gets a bit stringy - not suitable for "chunky" pie (HA HA!), but scrape the flesh and bake it, and it makes an absolutely FINE puree. I am currently having an fantastic pumpkin cheesecake made from Chef John's recipe with pumpkin picked 7 months ago! Edit: don't forget to drain it - pumpkin is mostly water...
Load More Replies... I think "Home Economics" needs to be added back into the school curriculum. So many of the errors are easily avoided with a little baking education. Oh well... Everyone keep trying (and read the recipe first all the way through and then follow it exactly)
OMG - these were priceless! I'm just very happy I've loved to bake since I was a kid. That didn't stop my Mom from making Disappearing Marshamallow Brownies with confectioner sugar instead of flour though. And that happened BEFORE coronavirus! LOL!
Some people are not measuring, not enough heat in the oven or way too much. Baking is nothing like cooking. It's a science.
Yes, you can get an oven thermometer and just leave it in there, and they're not expensive.
Load More Replies... well ,,, maybe you all need cooking lesson, or maybe need to get better cooking books or if your reading the cooking books and not understanding need to learn to read better..... well any way if your grandmother is a great cook and still around let her teach you, even your mother, if not borrow someone elses mother or grandmother to teach you .. i bet they will gladly teach you.
Um, just follow the recipe? Use the right temperature, baking times right from the recipe, any questions about terms just google them (as another commentor did).
I didn't realize how many baking terms people misunderstand until I started teaching my husband to bake. If you THINK you know what it means, then you won't Google it. He thought that "preheat" was a joke because of a George Carlin bit, so he was just shoving things in the oven and then turning it on. He didn't level anything. He thought "add more flour as needed" meant you HAD to add more flour, and he thought "place 2-inches apart" was just a suggestion. And, for reasons I will never understand, he mashed the chocolate chip cookie dough with a potato masher. He said it was too hard to stir it with a spoon. When I finally stopped laughing, I asked him why he didn't use the mixer. He said he didn't see any sense in dirtying up the mixer (but it was ok to dirty up the potato masher?).
Load More Replies... 