Quarantined People Are Sharing Their Failed Baking Attempts And Here Are 30 Of The Funniest Ones
We’re all craving something sweet and soothing during the quarantine. So why not try out that banana bread recipe that's been hanging on your fridge for over two years now? I mean, the ten boxes of eggs, aka your coronapocalypse hoard, ain't gonna bake themselves.
The pans are flying in no time and the solo baking show is on. The timer goes off and there you have it—a doughy monstrosity and impressive baking fail. Bored Panda has collected the most unsuccessful attempts right down below that will hopefully spark your inner chef, because whatever you make… it can’t be that bad. Been there, baked that? Share your quarantine bake-off stories in the comments!
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Just don’t ask...
"Its a its aaah rocket ship.yeah a rocketship. " "Death to Smoochie" a great adult humor Robin Williams movie
I have not laughed that hard in a really long time. I'm an RN, needed the laugh! They don't look ANYTHING like lighthouses..
It reminds me of what I'm missing so much during quarantine. Bakeries, of course.
Who made a lighthouse cookie cutter and thought that was a great idea?! No way it could go wrong and look anything like a very similar shape...
Yes, that cutter was just setting them up for failure, LOL.
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Or elephant proboscis to draw elephant faces on it
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At least there is a good explanation, because I never would have thought of lighthouse cookies!!!
FL wouldn't make me think of Lighthouses. Alligators might
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you mean the big dick in the WH Trump don't you ;)
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Love it!! I once used a penis cake mold to make a lighthouse cake. Only one person noticed.
She have to add 2 eyes each of it, so she could say "I tried to make elephant heads, but it seems didn't work"
Why on earth would you want to bake lighthouse shaped cookies anyway?
This is an old picture, and it's missing the other part of the post which actually showed the lighthouse cookie-cutters.
How they do it? Buy six or eight identical metal cookie cutters and spray them with non-stick cooking spray, then bake the biscuits in the shapes, like you do cupcakes.
Add some icing, and they will be good. They look more like a cactus.
There is a town in Portugal that makes these on purpose... they are gifts a man can present to his sweetheart like a Valentine card.
I don't think they look like lighthouses . . . I could give you another guess . .
no one will say what they look like so I will. they look like a bunch of dingle-dongers.
Another first time victim of whoever it was that designed this cookie cutter, is it safe to say only master bakers can safely use it without it's intended consequence? Lol
I don't want to be rude and say what these look like.... but good job they just need some white icing.
I doubt those rockets will fly, what say you? Lighthouses! Sure, you go with that honey.
I think it looks like a pointing finger. Yeah that's what it looks like.
Ha ha ha...no words but I really have to use my imagination to see lighthouse ha ha ha
Looks like the emoji nose... sheesh they are scary in any shade👃🏻& sending a kiss on the nose feels rather wrong too:)
Are you happy to see me, or is that a lighthouse cookie in your hand?
I knew pretty much everything in Florida was different, I shouldn't be surprised that the shape of lighthouses is also different
I think the mix needed to be a bit firmer before turning out and rolling.... just sayin'.
There are "interesting". I can SEE why everyone laughed. I hope you don't have an extremely conservative family. This is a cake of spreading. There are several things which cause this but next time, if you followed instructions EXACTLY, place sheet of unbaked cookies in freezer 5 minutes or refrigerator 15 minutes before placing in oven. Chilled cookie dough does not spread nearly as much.
Sorry don't want to sound mean but they look like d***s to me lol
Best batch of porn cookies I've ever seen, how did they taste
If you ice them right they can be Sorting Hats...some of them. The rest... bachelorette party
Well, what did you think they would look like? I mean who actually sees a lighthouse when you look at the cutter?
Sorry... can't see a lighthouse. Looks more like a bit of male anatomy!
I mean, decorate it right and it can still light up someone's night...
Lighthouses huh? Sorry. I just couldn't visualize lighthouses. ...nevermind. :p
Here the real scoop. These cookies were not made by this person. My friend made these cookies and posted this picture on Facebook on March 26, 2020. He made them in MICHIGAN because Michigan has, you know, over 200 lighthouses, while Florida has...30. I looked at this persons twitter and I realized she is a liberal with level 11 TDS. Then I realized that it’s probably her usual MO to steal and lie about things she didn’t do.
They turned out maybe tangentially related to how many people feel about florida.
Hey all you, Stop laughing. They do get wrinkly like that when you get up in years, like you do. But still just as good, or better, to eat.
It looks nice to serve to people whose names start with the letter T, because your cookie looks like the letter T
Just looking at the cookie cutter should have hinted at the result.
There was a great seafood restaurant near West Palm years ago, close to a lighthouse. (Arthur's Landing??) They had an ice-cream dessert that was covered in a red candy shell. It was served straight up on the plate.
Oh there is going to be one hell of a baby boom in 9 months.
I think the author of this recipe had a secret evil agenda. This is no unlucky coincidence...
Was about to add that some frosting might save it.. but nahhh. It won't.
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Just a helpful hint, if you want one. Put them in the fridge for 1/2 between cutting them and baking them.. Still look tasty though.
This photo is actually STOLEN from my cousin. The cookie cutter is of St Abbs in the North of England. Gotta steal photos now just to make a funny article eh? #Thieves
Its not stolen if they tell you where they got it from. The account name is right there.
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There is a cookie cutter made intentionally for cookies to turn out this way -- the "Male Anatomy Cookie Cutter," available on Amazon: ;-) https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Penis-Cookie-Cutter-4-625/dp/B07P2SQN3D
You’re not the only one considering making banana bread. The global pandemic has turned many into avid home bakers. In fact, there are so many of them that suppliers have been forced to increase production.
Bloomberg reports that baking staples have become a sort-of luxury. Baking yeast sales were up 457% over last year for the week ending March 28. Flour was up 155%, butter up 73%, baking powder up 178%, and eggs up 48%.
Robert Harper, the president at Hopkinsville Milling Co., said the company is packing twice as much flour as usual. Harper commented: “It started to look like Thanksgiving and Christmas all rolled into one. People have time on their hands and are trying to save some money.”
Cut them up post bake when they’re still a little soft. Or if they’re a little hard crumble them up into large chunks and sprinkle on ice cream. Nom.
My make-shift attempt at making a bunny failed me, but I think I baked a fat cat instead?
Bored Panda contacted Beth Coombes, a professional pastry chef and the owner of bespoke bakery Pili Pala Cakehouse, who told us about everything you need to know to bake in quarantine like a pro.
Beth suggests always reading your recipe in full before just going for it. “Baking is such a science and things must be done in the correct order to achieve the end result you want,” she explained. Plus, always weigh your ingredients before starting so you can concentrate on the method while making it.
So...this looked to be baking perfectly and happily in the oven...this was the surprise on the other side
“Ummm....are the cinnamon buns supposed to try and escape from the pan?
The pastry chef named a couple of beginner’s mistakes that are best to avoid. One of the most common ones is setting the oven to the right temperature. “Cakes cook on so many different temperatures to get different results, so don’t think 'ah, this temp will do,' as it might not work, and you’ll learn that the hard way.”
Another common mistake that anyone who is new to baking could make is simply not knowing the technique. “For example, 'beating' or 'folding' techniques. If you’re not sure what a word means, give it a little google first and you’ll be good to go.”
If you can decide on a recipe to try out when in quarantine, Beth has shared her super-easy salted caramel brownies recipe with all the Pandas out there. The ingredients you’ll need are: 170g dark chocolate, 170g unsalted butter, 3 eggs, 225g caster sugar, 50g cocoa, 50g plain flour, ½ tsp sea salt, 100g salted caramel.
“Preheat your oven to 150℃ and line a 11”/8” tin. First, melt the chocolate and butter together and leave to cool for a couple of minutes. Then, whisk your eggs and sugar together until combined before adding your chocolatey butter mixture. Continue to gently whisk until it all comes together, then add your cocoa powder, flour, and salt. Fold this together, to make sure it’s all smooth and combined—it will be super-thick and shiny.”
“Lastly, add half of your salted caramel to the brownie, fold, and combine. Pour this in the tin, then drizzle and swirl the other half through the brownie. Give it a couple of taps on the table to level it out and bake it in the oven for 20-25 minutes.”
“Once ready, it should still be a little wobbly in the center, but crusted and set around the edges. You must leave this to cool for a few hours before cutting into squares and indulging—trust me, it will totally be worth it!” Bon appetit!
Baking fail. My macarons exploded and didn’t grow feet.
I’m pretty sure it had to do with my almond flour. I made my own and I think it was too moist. I haven’t been able to find ready made almond flour but almonds are readily available. I’m gonna try again
In my attempt at making pizza, i discovered my yeast had expired in 2010. And the supermarkets had ran out of yeast. Then I read about making yeast from dried fruit. I used dried longan and here is an interesting outcome. The dough was stretchy and after baking, I ended up with a very pleasant tasting crispy and slightly chewy sweetish flatbread. It went really well with crunchy peanut butter
Or make a sourdough starter. You won't get your pizza for a week, but it'll be awesome.
Sadly my challahday easter bunny didn't quite work out. Seems to have come down with some hip dysplasia, ear disconnection, and a touch of elephantiasis in the oven... I think the main culprits here were uneven working of the various strands, slight underproofing, and perhaps some rusty baking skills. Next time..
I tried to make pretzels and they went MUTANT
i am normally a good baker. i found a recipe for egg custard pie. i told my husband 2 go 2 the store to get the ingredients (only 1 person per family is allowed in the store and i cannot be trusted because i come home with a whole bunch of junk food lol). 1 of the ingredients were pie crust, i told him the pie crust are in the refrigerated section near the eggs and where the cookie dough is. he came home with pie crust from the freezer in a pie plate already....i have never seen these in my life and the pie dish was not deep. this was the outcome of using pie crust i have never made before. apparently the egg custard somehow got under the pie crusts while baking, and that big bubble in the middle is the pie crust
Lesson 1. Make your own pie crust. Lesson 2. Pastry formula: half fat to flour. EG. 8 oz flour 4 oz fat. Lesson 3. Use butter, freeze it, grate it into the flour, cut together with a butter knife, add COLD water( 1/4 to 1/2 a cup) gradually, stirring gently until dough comes together, leave in fridge for 30 mins before rolling out (this lets the gluten in the flour relax and stops the pastry being tough) Enjoy
