Woman Is Fed Up With Husband’s Snarky Comments About Her Finances, So She Withdraws All Her Money, Leaving Him With $900
Being in a committed relationship is hard work that requires constant communication, or else things are bound to go south.
Whether you’re just starting your journey, or you’ve been together since school – it’s crucial to remember that, in reality, the only person you’ve truly got is yourself.
Quite frankly, every unforeseen complication that occurs in your little family, whether it’s something to do with finances or any other unexpected troubles, can trigger a conflict that’ll show you your partner’s true colors.
Finding yourself in such a situation can be upsetting, as we all want to believe that the person we’re devoting our life to is a reliable human that’ll promise us emotional support whenever things get rocky.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes an unexpected situation can trigger the appearance of your partner’s true colors
Image source: Doug Tammany (not the actual photo)
“AITA for pulling all my money from the account after he refused to stop making comments about me getting a job?” – this netizen took to one of Reddit’s most well-known communities to find out whether she’s indeed a jerk for withdrawing all of her savings and transferring them to a different account, as her husband wouldn’t stop making remarks about her unemployment. The post has managed to receive nearly 12K upvotes and 1K comments discussing the man’s snarky behavior.
Woman wonders if she’s a jerk for taking all her money out of a joint account as her husband kept making comments about her unemployment
Image source: ZookeepergameHuge627
The woman began her post by revealing that she’s currently unemployed for the first time since she was a teen; she said that even prior to switching jobs, she’d usually have other opportunities lined up, meaning that there was never a break between pay checks.
Image source: ZookeepergameHuge627
Her husband, on the other hand, is known for having dry spells, where he’d be jobless for months – moreover, whenever he does get a job, he never sticks with it for more than 6 months. The author also added that she didn’t quit her job voluntarily; the company went bankrupt, and they didn’t inform the employees until the very last minute.
It’s been 1 month without a steady income; however, the woman’s been searching endlessly, and because the man’s forced to use the OP’s car to get to work due to a blown engine on his vehicle, it complicates the whole process, as the woman is now stuck searching for remote positions only.
The spouse recently got a promotion, and ever since, he’s been breathing down the OP’s neck. He is well aware that the woman is very devoted to job-hunting, yet he doesn’t miss a chance to nag.
Image source: ZookeepergameHuge627
The woman revealed that she had $8,6K sitting in the bank from her previous job, which would ultimately cover 8 months’ worth of rent, so his unnecessary comments were really starting to wind her up. It got to the point where the author suggested that she work with him, although the husband didn’t think that it was a good idea.
Besides, the man also seemed to start the whole “my money” argument whenever it was convenient for him. For instance, when he referred to taxes, they would be both of theirs, but when it came to other things, then everything miraculously became his.
The woman then mentioned that he had no problem living off of her money throughout the entire time he was unemployed.
Image source: ZookeepergameHuge627
Image source: Amanda (not the actual photo)
On one of the days, the man made another comment that simply infuriated the OP.
It was the last straw, so she took her car and left to go to the bank to withdraw every penny she had in that shared account. The woman immediately transferred everything to an account he can’t touch, leaving the husband with a little over $900.
Naturally, the man flipped out and called the OP “financially controlling.”
Fellow Reddit users shared their thoughts and opinions
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This dynamic in your partner's behaviour is actually called financial abuse. I would say run from it as it never ends well. Speaking from experience...
After reading all these relationship posts...AITA for remaining single for almost 20 years?
Coming from someone who is very happily married here, I have to say that no relationship is worth putting up with s**t like this. Why do people do it?? Single is far preferable.
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I think she has a far bigger problem than money. The husband sounds like a selfish entitled a*****e. I don't think they are going to be together for long.
He's been breathing down her neck about getting a job since his promotion. He never did that before. I wonder if there is someone who's telling him that his girlfriend is a mooch. There are a lot of red flags in this story but why the sudden change of heart?
He hadn’t done it before because as she said, she’s always had a job, or had one lined up before leaving a job. He’s an a******e, full stop She’s been unemployed a MONTH. I’ve been in a relationship 18 years and married 7 years. There’s absolutely no way either my husband or I would tolerate this behavior from the other. We’ve been through good times and bad.
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Been married a longtime. For a while, hubby made more than me. He supported me completely when I wanted to get a graduate degree. Now I make more money. I am better at handling money, investing, etc. so, I handle the money, but it is our money. When people say one of us wears the pants in our family, we say no one wears pants, it's more fun that way.
Same here. It's our money. We discus any large purchases and share, but what works for us might not work for others.
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My ex use to do this. Except it wasn't his money it was mine. He never had a job once we had been together for 6 months. He demanded everything. At one point I was forced to walk to work in the AZ sun. He didn't care. He thought I deserved it. He wasn't happy when I left he even attempted to get his mommy to make me come back. This is just the start of the abuse. Leave while you have the cash to do so
That she’s concerned about possibly being an AH and not concerned that her husband can’t hold down a job for more than 6 months shows a lot about her character. Neither of these people should be in a relationship. They both need to grow up first
This man is a narcissist. He uses you for your car and income. Whose name is your lease in? If it is in your name, evict him. Take the car, stop paying rent. Stop buying food. Stop paying utilities.Remind him that during his many bouts of unemployment you paid the rent, you bought the food, you paid the utilities. Now it is his turn to MAN UP. BUTi am reminded of a line from Crazy Rich Asians where Gemma Chan tells her husband in the movie, I AM NOT.HERE TO MAKE YOU MAN. I CAN'T MAKE YOU SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT. Don't threaten, and don't show your hand. Quietly and secretly find a place of your own and move, and take everything. There are plenty of pro bono attorneys that will help you and give you legal advice. Access the internet and find one. .
I truly think they should apply for United healthcare. They are entry level and it requires no degrees. One of the requirements is knowing how to use a computer and knowing how to type tho. My mother works for them and she likes it.
Goodness! Take your car back so he can use his promotion money to buy one.
He is showing his true colors. Better now than later. Sounds like you two don't have children. I see help wanted signs all around where I live. Sure there are factory jobs around here other than retail. He probably won't get his car fixed. I hope you get away easily. Have family? Good luck.
I've learned (the hard way) that no relationship at all is preferable to a bad one. Hubbikins has a problem w/ his wife? Odds are he's about to have a few more. OP sounds as if she's quite able to handle herself alone & it's high time her spouse is reminded o' this. NTA save OP hasn't walked away sooner.
Councelling and split finances with separate income account and a joint account for expensses. And if the behaviour of the husband doesn't change, a divorce. What irks me most is that he is not getting his own car repaired or a new car. I would never agree to being stranded at home like that.
I am at a loss for this kind of behavior. Separate bills, separate bank accounts, etc. When my wife and I got together, she was newly divorced with three kids and a deadbeat ex. When we got together, she was working parttime and going to school so I was making more than she was by a bit. But it was our house, our bills, and our money. We struggled for years, but did it together. Eventually, she was making what I made, then double, then almost triple. (I loved my work, just was never gonna get rich doing it. When people asked if I felt emasculated by that, it shocked me. My team was winning! We had arguments about how we spent money occasionally, but never about whose money it was - it was always "ours." I am now disabled and between my insurance and social security, I bring in about ⅓ of what she does, but we are a team. Have been for 30 years and will be until I die. Never even thought about separate bills or separate money because I don't know how you split things up from yourself...
Always keep your finance's separate. That's just the smart way to do things. I love my hubby but when I met him he had A LOT of credit card debt. I on the other have no credit card debt but I do have student loan debt. Keep your finance's separate, split the bills. That way you don't wind up with nothing one day if your l partner ends up doing something stupid
I kept reading fiances instead of finances in the title and I was so confused 🤣
Why is she even still married to him? It's not like she can count on him for important things... either financially or emotionally. A partnership should be a win-win for both of you... not just one. Seems like he's the one who always likes to take (preferably from her) and she's generally the one giving.
When I first married, my husband said: My money is his money and his money is his own.....how true a statement he made. These people forget the many things we actually buy/do/go without to support them when times are tough. NTA at all.
Rethink the marriage as this is how's its gonna go when there's bigger issues down the rd. Also secure your future more. Sign up for a diploma in whatever your interests are in The local community College with some of the money you moved. That way, your financial future is more secure. Look for something part time job wise so you still earn something while finding more career options. Given his promotion, let him make those rent payments for a while. That way you will also be more independent in the future.
Our money has been in joint accounts since we've been married. When my husband was laid off I was the main bread winner, and when I wasn't working he was the main bread winner. High price items, such as new cars were always a joint decision. I retired with a much better pension than his, so now I am the main bread winner I guess. We never argue over finances; although we do discuss high cost purchases. This has worked great for us for the past 45+ years and I see no reason to change anything. I have never understood the "my money" "your money" attitude after you're married. Stop sweating the small stuff and work as a unit and you will be fine!
Hi, i just want to say thank to you to Jai Sunlight for saving my marriage with her spells. My name is Daniel. I’ve been in a big deep doubt suspicion about my wife and her ex doing business together. Together they were very successful and they are still very much successful in individual. As for me, I was very uncomfortable with the whole thing each time I see them together., I needed a quit or a split for the both of them cos I don’t want it to bring problems into our marriage so I needed something to be done and keep them aside from each other. I wont say how i have been all this while each they go on same trip for business but thanks to jai mata for helping me create a great boundary between them for me. Bad thing did not happen to them…I’m so happy. They just decided to split and each to be the boss of its own business. They did,..and they are still both very successful. i am so happy tell everyone about Jai Mata Sunlight the Great Sharma. I am grateful as I write this comment
Not true, what's in her name is hers
Load More Replies...
This dynamic in your partner's behaviour is actually called financial abuse. I would say run from it as it never ends well. Speaking from experience...
After reading all these relationship posts...AITA for remaining single for almost 20 years?
Coming from someone who is very happily married here, I have to say that no relationship is worth putting up with s**t like this. Why do people do it?? Single is far preferable.
Load More Replies... I think she has a far bigger problem than money. The husband sounds like a selfish entitled a*****e. I don't think they are going to be together for long.
He's been breathing down her neck about getting a job since his promotion. He never did that before. I wonder if there is someone who's telling him that his girlfriend is a mooch. There are a lot of red flags in this story but why the sudden change of heart?
He hadn’t done it before because as she said, she’s always had a job, or had one lined up before leaving a job. He’s an a******e, full stop She’s been unemployed a MONTH. I’ve been in a relationship 18 years and married 7 years. There’s absolutely no way either my husband or I would tolerate this behavior from the other. We’ve been through good times and bad.
Load More Replies... Been married a longtime. For a while, hubby made more than me. He supported me completely when I wanted to get a graduate degree. Now I make more money. I am better at handling money, investing, etc. so, I handle the money, but it is our money. When people say one of us wears the pants in our family, we say no one wears pants, it's more fun that way.
Same here. It's our money. We discus any large purchases and share, but what works for us might not work for others.
Load More Replies... My ex use to do this. Except it wasn't his money it was mine. He never had a job once we had been together for 6 months. He demanded everything. At one point I was forced to walk to work in the AZ sun. He didn't care. He thought I deserved it. He wasn't happy when I left he even attempted to get his mommy to make me come back. This is just the start of the abuse. Leave while you have the cash to do so
That she’s concerned about possibly being an AH and not concerned that her husband can’t hold down a job for more than 6 months shows a lot about her character. Neither of these people should be in a relationship. They both need to grow up first
This man is a narcissist. He uses you for your car and income. Whose name is your lease in? If it is in your name, evict him. Take the car, stop paying rent. Stop buying food. Stop paying utilities.Remind him that during his many bouts of unemployment you paid the rent, you bought the food, you paid the utilities. Now it is his turn to MAN UP. BUTi am reminded of a line from Crazy Rich Asians where Gemma Chan tells her husband in the movie, I AM NOT.HERE TO MAKE YOU MAN. I CAN'T MAKE YOU SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT. Don't threaten, and don't show your hand. Quietly and secretly find a place of your own and move, and take everything. There are plenty of pro bono attorneys that will help you and give you legal advice. Access the internet and find one. .
I truly think they should apply for United healthcare. They are entry level and it requires no degrees. One of the requirements is knowing how to use a computer and knowing how to type tho. My mother works for them and she likes it.
Goodness! Take your car back so he can use his promotion money to buy one.
He is showing his true colors. Better now than later. Sounds like you two don't have children. I see help wanted signs all around where I live. Sure there are factory jobs around here other than retail. He probably won't get his car fixed. I hope you get away easily. Have family? Good luck.
I've learned (the hard way) that no relationship at all is preferable to a bad one. Hubbikins has a problem w/ his wife? Odds are he's about to have a few more. OP sounds as if she's quite able to handle herself alone & it's high time her spouse is reminded o' this. NTA save OP hasn't walked away sooner.
Councelling and split finances with separate income account and a joint account for expensses. And if the behaviour of the husband doesn't change, a divorce. What irks me most is that he is not getting his own car repaired or a new car. I would never agree to being stranded at home like that.
I am at a loss for this kind of behavior. Separate bills, separate bank accounts, etc. When my wife and I got together, she was newly divorced with three kids and a deadbeat ex. When we got together, she was working parttime and going to school so I was making more than she was by a bit. But it was our house, our bills, and our money. We struggled for years, but did it together. Eventually, she was making what I made, then double, then almost triple. (I loved my work, just was never gonna get rich doing it. When people asked if I felt emasculated by that, it shocked me. My team was winning! We had arguments about how we spent money occasionally, but never about whose money it was - it was always "ours." I am now disabled and between my insurance and social security, I bring in about ⅓ of what she does, but we are a team. Have been for 30 years and will be until I die. Never even thought about separate bills or separate money because I don't know how you split things up from yourself...
Always keep your finance's separate. That's just the smart way to do things. I love my hubby but when I met him he had A LOT of credit card debt. I on the other have no credit card debt but I do have student loan debt. Keep your finance's separate, split the bills. That way you don't wind up with nothing one day if your l partner ends up doing something stupid
I kept reading fiances instead of finances in the title and I was so confused 🤣
Why is she even still married to him? It's not like she can count on him for important things... either financially or emotionally. A partnership should be a win-win for both of you... not just one. Seems like he's the one who always likes to take (preferably from her) and she's generally the one giving.
When I first married, my husband said: My money is his money and his money is his own.....how true a statement he made. These people forget the many things we actually buy/do/go without to support them when times are tough. NTA at all.
Rethink the marriage as this is how's its gonna go when there's bigger issues down the rd. Also secure your future more. Sign up for a diploma in whatever your interests are in The local community College with some of the money you moved. That way, your financial future is more secure. Look for something part time job wise so you still earn something while finding more career options. Given his promotion, let him make those rent payments for a while. That way you will also be more independent in the future.
Our money has been in joint accounts since we've been married. When my husband was laid off I was the main bread winner, and when I wasn't working he was the main bread winner. High price items, such as new cars were always a joint decision. I retired with a much better pension than his, so now I am the main bread winner I guess. We never argue over finances; although we do discuss high cost purchases. This has worked great for us for the past 45+ years and I see no reason to change anything. I have never understood the "my money" "your money" attitude after you're married. Stop sweating the small stuff and work as a unit and you will be fine!
Hi, i just want to say thank to you to Jai Sunlight for saving my marriage with her spells. My name is Daniel. I’ve been in a big deep doubt suspicion about my wife and her ex doing business together. Together they were very successful and they are still very much successful in individual. As for me, I was very uncomfortable with the whole thing each time I see them together., I needed a quit or a split for the both of them cos I don’t want it to bring problems into our marriage so I needed something to be done and keep them aside from each other. I wont say how i have been all this while each they go on same trip for business but thanks to jai mata for helping me create a great boundary between them for me. Bad thing did not happen to them…I’m so happy. They just decided to split and each to be the boss of its own business. They did,..and they are still both very successful. i am so happy tell everyone about Jai Mata Sunlight the Great Sharma. I am grateful as I write this comment
Not true, what's in her name is hers
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