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The Way This Pub Owner Responds To A Dad Asking If His Disabled Son Can Enter Is Going Viral
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The Way This Pub Owner Responds To A Dad Asking If His Disabled Son Can Enter Is Going Viral

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Discrimination is a huge problem in our society, and it truly affects people with various disabilities. We often forget their needs and ignore the fact that they too want to be fully functioning society members. Well, a pub owner in Sheffield, England proved that we all need is to be a little more caring and understanding when it comes to disabled people and their needs. Recently, Steph Tate took to social media to share a heartbreaking experience that happened at her pub.

The Barrel Chapeltown’s owner wrote a post telling how a father and son entered her pub and since the kid was wheelchair-bound, they weren’t sure if they would be welcome. Tate was shocked at the idea of them even asking for permission to enter the pub, since it is a public place and everyone is of course welcome! She wrote a post, explaining that it shouldn’t even be a question.

In an interview with Bored Panda, Matthew’s mother Leila Adams told us how she feels about the discrimination of disabled people in the public places, “In terms of disability it’s such a wide range of differences or ‘issues’ that people don’t want to think about or need a lot of education about. People might understand that a wheelchair user needs a wide enough path to get through, but not why an autistic person has a meltdown in a public area. Or they might see a person with learning difficulties needing extra time with things, but not why a physically disabled person needs other accommodations.” She finished by saying “I think an emphasis on ‘treat others as you would wish to be treated’ type mentality needs to become the norm across all of society and age ranges.”

Scroll down to read the entire post yourself and don’t forget to tell us what you think in the comments!

More info: The Barrel Chapeltown

Steph Tate is an owner of a pub called The Barrel Chapeltown in Sheffield, England

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Image credits: Steph Tate

Image credits: BarrelChapeltown

Steven Adams, a father of Matthew’s, tried to enter the pub but before doing so he asked the owner if they can come in since Matthew is disabled and can often act erratically

Image credits: Steven Adams

But Steph Tate was not having it, she took social media to tell people that everybody is welcome in their pub, and their disabilities have no impact on that

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The post quickly received a lot of attention since it spread a very important message about tolerance

Image credits: Steven Adams

The most beautiful part of this story was people’s reaction to this post

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cougarthehairywombat avatar
Trisha Dragon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have left restaurants/stores where there were noisy kids/people/employees because the racket got on my last damn nerve. I certainly didn't let on why, blame anybody or act like an a**e. They had every right and reason to be there. The "issue" was mine and I responded as such. Little kids on planes is a special kind of hell. If they had child free flights I'd damn sure pay extra to be on that one. Until that is an option I will simply have to STFU and endure mild irritation of my own making. I mean who the hell goes into a public space, let alone a privately owned business and starts declaring who can do what and where? Unhappy or irritated? Politely GTFO.

cougarthehairywombat avatar
Trisha Dragon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Side note, there are times when it's impossible to hide why you're leaving. If you take 15 seconds to make eye contact and smile or make a cordial gesture you can take responsibility and (percieved) animosity out of the situation. A lot of times parents will apologize. Just smile and say "you're fine" or some variation of that or interact with the kids. You don't have kids and not

Load More Replies...
sunnyrei82 avatar
sunnyrei82
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's hard. It really is. To go to some places with your loved one and have people staring at them just because they act a bit different. My sister has autism. And sometimes she makes noises or movements, or goes from one place to another, or wants to see someone's face, eye color, bag, book, or anything they have that made her curious about... and my family and I have had to suffer the annoying stares, the rude comments, or exaggerated reactions treating my sister like a pest, from ignorant, intolerant people. Just treat people with disabilities or special aid like any other person, like a normal person. That's all we (the person in question and the family) want. Please.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my teen autistic son to a local grocery store. He was standing in front of the doors for the milk cold case when a man walked up to him and shouted "Get the f*** out of the way!" And then I heard him say "r****d" under his breath as he went back to his cart. My son was terrified. But an employee saw what happened and called the manager. The manager approached the man and said he will not tolerate anyone in his store mistreating a disabled person. He told the man to leave his cart, leave the store and that he was hereby notified that he was banned from the store. As the man walked out, other shoppers that heard what happened applauded the manager. The manager asked if my son would be ok. I said he was shaken but he'd be fine. I was just worried he wouldn't want to come back to the store after this. The manager noticed my son wearing a Mountain Dew hat and promptly returned with a free bottle of the soda for my son. My son smiled all the way home.

Load More Replies...
shannonodland avatar
Shannøn Renee
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was in school those with special needs were in their portion of the school which was in the basement near the cafeteria. I had a teacher whose classroom was also in the basement, just down the hall from the special needs wing say how terrible it was that the special needs students were hidden away from the rest of the school because it didn't teach tolerance. I fully agreed when I was in school and still do. A lot of how people react to people that have special needs is simply because there is no exposure therefore don't know how to tolerate their differences. Honestly, I'd much rather listen to someone with special needs have a minor outburst of loud laughter than some a$$hole boasting about themselves. I'm grateful my son's school treats special needs students better than my school did, but we still have a long way to come as a society.

cwa92464 avatar
cwa92464
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everybody deals with something: disabilities, PTSD, whatever. Yes, sometimes it cvan irritate the s**t out of you when you have had a bad day, but the bottonline is...just don't be a d**k. If you don't like it, leave. If it's tolerable, stay. I'm sure that the other people are having more tough days than you are in that tiny window of time.

lynzi_olivermusto avatar
Lynzi Oliver-Musto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an "invisible" disability, that is, one which doesn't affect my physical appearance (in any particularly noticeable way) nor does it affect my mental development. However it does limit my physical ability so that it is almost impossible for me to sit upright and it also affects my neurological responses and adrenaline levels so that I struggle to maintain a calm demeanour if I am excited, anxious or startled. For the most part, when I have been able to go out in public,I have only ever received a few sideways glances or overheard a comment or two, the majority of people preferring not to comment to me in person. The only exception to this is a certain family member who will cringe and happily tell me to be quiet or stop waving my arms around. When even our own family, who know the reasons for our behaviour, see disabled people as a problem, how can we expect the general public to think differently?

lieke avatar
Ellis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not being able to see people as people is the real disability here

Load More Replies...
alusairalustriel avatar
Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I praise the pub owner i do not uderstand why we have to even say outloud about things like that. Don't get me wrong, just the fact that we have to remind people that disability isn't something to shame is outrageous.

diane1atk avatar
diane a
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my local Pub there is a young man- no longer a child, who regularly comes in with his mother. Sure he makes noises, but we all know them and it is heartwarming to see.him. If any out of town customer dared complain they would be shown the door immediately and rightly

captaindash avatar
Full Name
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Disabled? S**t, he sounds different from most young boys how?

danikaserina avatar
DanikaSerina
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand. I have a breathing condition and if I get into an attack people start looking at me like they need to call CDC! My mom has been told that if I'm going to have trouble breathing then she shouldn't allow me to leave the house. I have been dealing with this for over a decade!

bianaw avatar
Biana Weatherford
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to know...is okay to talk to these parents or individuals? Not to complain, but to strike up a conversation or let them know that they are welcome in my world? I don't own a restaurant or anything public where I can state my tolerance...but I want to be supportive. Where is the line between supportive and condescending?

cammieharpole avatar
Xiaolaohu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe you don't need to state your tolerance? Just treat those with disabilities as you would anyone else, quiet, matter-of-fact accommodation for equipment or seating needs, a welcoming smile...trust me we know his behavior is disturbing, we live it 24/7. I personally don't mind answering questions but sometimes the questions can be rather personal. Don't ask anything that you wouldn't ask any other parent about their neurotypical kid. You will undoubtedly feel the need to tell me about the kid you know in your neighborhood/social circle that is different like mine but has amazing abilities anyway, that's fine, but please don't ask me what my kid's amazing savant ability is. A smile and a reply of no worries or no problem or it's fine is amazing when I apologize for his behavior. You might be saving a life, disabled people are notoriously prone to abuse by their caregivers, even if it's their own family. Having outlets for socializing and a full life can keep them safe.

Load More Replies...
scates avatar
scates
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a wheelchair user I have to say Thank You! There are so many things that disabled people need that no one realizes until they talk to someone in that situation- for me it’s lighter doors, soap and towel dispensers I can reach, coat hooks at my level. I try to always graciously accept help when it’s available because I dont like to discourage a good act but it’s so good when things are arranged to meet wheelchayusers needs and the needs of others.

rhon avatar
Rhon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have just read the article about the mother whose child was on life support and told if she didn't come to work she'd be fired.THEN I read this! Thank you Steph!💕

michaellockard avatar
Michael Lockard
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trisha: Thank you for your well written response. We can tell you are a beautiful person in your kind words!

sammygatts avatar
Unicornlover
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Melts my heart to see people like this.. I wish there was more people like this

johanna_zamora avatar
Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

UK has a tradition of kids in pubs, from my experience. It's much more "local" and people tend to be from the neighborhood. That's what my experience in rural Kent evinced.

johnlouis avatar
John Louis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as the person's behavior is not an obvious distraction to other patrons, this should not be an issue.

k2merickson avatar
Kristine Erickson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think the dad asked permission to enter due to the wheelchair. I think he asked because they were going into a drinking establishment and the kid is clearly underage, and the bar owner may have misunderstood the question. And why the giant picture of the bar owner? Now before anyone gets mad at me, trust me I know that handicap access is a huge issue and this post has given a sounding board for this.

theryanmiller81 avatar
Bear Trapp
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's nice that she did that for them and all, but I feel like the post was not as much about "spreading the word", as it was about free publicity. You can do nice things and not have to shout it to the world.

ellen-arndt avatar
Ellen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On that token, you could argue that there's no altruism because people only do good deeds to benefit themselves. You can always argue something like that, but why even go there

Load More Replies...
cougarthehairywombat avatar
Trisha Dragon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have left restaurants/stores where there were noisy kids/people/employees because the racket got on my last damn nerve. I certainly didn't let on why, blame anybody or act like an a**e. They had every right and reason to be there. The "issue" was mine and I responded as such. Little kids on planes is a special kind of hell. If they had child free flights I'd damn sure pay extra to be on that one. Until that is an option I will simply have to STFU and endure mild irritation of my own making. I mean who the hell goes into a public space, let alone a privately owned business and starts declaring who can do what and where? Unhappy or irritated? Politely GTFO.

cougarthehairywombat avatar
Trisha Dragon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Side note, there are times when it's impossible to hide why you're leaving. If you take 15 seconds to make eye contact and smile or make a cordial gesture you can take responsibility and (percieved) animosity out of the situation. A lot of times parents will apologize. Just smile and say "you're fine" or some variation of that or interact with the kids. You don't have kids and not

Load More Replies...
sunnyrei82 avatar
sunnyrei82
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's hard. It really is. To go to some places with your loved one and have people staring at them just because they act a bit different. My sister has autism. And sometimes she makes noises or movements, or goes from one place to another, or wants to see someone's face, eye color, bag, book, or anything they have that made her curious about... and my family and I have had to suffer the annoying stares, the rude comments, or exaggerated reactions treating my sister like a pest, from ignorant, intolerant people. Just treat people with disabilities or special aid like any other person, like a normal person. That's all we (the person in question and the family) want. Please.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took my teen autistic son to a local grocery store. He was standing in front of the doors for the milk cold case when a man walked up to him and shouted "Get the f*** out of the way!" And then I heard him say "r****d" under his breath as he went back to his cart. My son was terrified. But an employee saw what happened and called the manager. The manager approached the man and said he will not tolerate anyone in his store mistreating a disabled person. He told the man to leave his cart, leave the store and that he was hereby notified that he was banned from the store. As the man walked out, other shoppers that heard what happened applauded the manager. The manager asked if my son would be ok. I said he was shaken but he'd be fine. I was just worried he wouldn't want to come back to the store after this. The manager noticed my son wearing a Mountain Dew hat and promptly returned with a free bottle of the soda for my son. My son smiled all the way home.

Load More Replies...
shannonodland avatar
Shannøn Renee
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was in school those with special needs were in their portion of the school which was in the basement near the cafeteria. I had a teacher whose classroom was also in the basement, just down the hall from the special needs wing say how terrible it was that the special needs students were hidden away from the rest of the school because it didn't teach tolerance. I fully agreed when I was in school and still do. A lot of how people react to people that have special needs is simply because there is no exposure therefore don't know how to tolerate their differences. Honestly, I'd much rather listen to someone with special needs have a minor outburst of loud laughter than some a$$hole boasting about themselves. I'm grateful my son's school treats special needs students better than my school did, but we still have a long way to come as a society.

cwa92464 avatar
cwa92464
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everybody deals with something: disabilities, PTSD, whatever. Yes, sometimes it cvan irritate the s**t out of you when you have had a bad day, but the bottonline is...just don't be a d**k. If you don't like it, leave. If it's tolerable, stay. I'm sure that the other people are having more tough days than you are in that tiny window of time.

lynzi_olivermusto avatar
Lynzi Oliver-Musto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have an "invisible" disability, that is, one which doesn't affect my physical appearance (in any particularly noticeable way) nor does it affect my mental development. However it does limit my physical ability so that it is almost impossible for me to sit upright and it also affects my neurological responses and adrenaline levels so that I struggle to maintain a calm demeanour if I am excited, anxious or startled. For the most part, when I have been able to go out in public,I have only ever received a few sideways glances or overheard a comment or two, the majority of people preferring not to comment to me in person. The only exception to this is a certain family member who will cringe and happily tell me to be quiet or stop waving my arms around. When even our own family, who know the reasons for our behaviour, see disabled people as a problem, how can we expect the general public to think differently?

lieke avatar
Ellis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not being able to see people as people is the real disability here

Load More Replies...
alusairalustriel avatar
Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As much as I praise the pub owner i do not uderstand why we have to even say outloud about things like that. Don't get me wrong, just the fact that we have to remind people that disability isn't something to shame is outrageous.

diane1atk avatar
diane a
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my local Pub there is a young man- no longer a child, who regularly comes in with his mother. Sure he makes noises, but we all know them and it is heartwarming to see.him. If any out of town customer dared complain they would be shown the door immediately and rightly

captaindash avatar
Full Name
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Disabled? S**t, he sounds different from most young boys how?

danikaserina avatar
DanikaSerina
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand. I have a breathing condition and if I get into an attack people start looking at me like they need to call CDC! My mom has been told that if I'm going to have trouble breathing then she shouldn't allow me to leave the house. I have been dealing with this for over a decade!

bianaw avatar
Biana Weatherford
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to know...is okay to talk to these parents or individuals? Not to complain, but to strike up a conversation or let them know that they are welcome in my world? I don't own a restaurant or anything public where I can state my tolerance...but I want to be supportive. Where is the line between supportive and condescending?

cammieharpole avatar
Xiaolaohu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe you don't need to state your tolerance? Just treat those with disabilities as you would anyone else, quiet, matter-of-fact accommodation for equipment or seating needs, a welcoming smile...trust me we know his behavior is disturbing, we live it 24/7. I personally don't mind answering questions but sometimes the questions can be rather personal. Don't ask anything that you wouldn't ask any other parent about their neurotypical kid. You will undoubtedly feel the need to tell me about the kid you know in your neighborhood/social circle that is different like mine but has amazing abilities anyway, that's fine, but please don't ask me what my kid's amazing savant ability is. A smile and a reply of no worries or no problem or it's fine is amazing when I apologize for his behavior. You might be saving a life, disabled people are notoriously prone to abuse by their caregivers, even if it's their own family. Having outlets for socializing and a full life can keep them safe.

Load More Replies...
scates avatar
scates
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a wheelchair user I have to say Thank You! There are so many things that disabled people need that no one realizes until they talk to someone in that situation- for me it’s lighter doors, soap and towel dispensers I can reach, coat hooks at my level. I try to always graciously accept help when it’s available because I dont like to discourage a good act but it’s so good when things are arranged to meet wheelchayusers needs and the needs of others.

rhon avatar
Rhon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have just read the article about the mother whose child was on life support and told if she didn't come to work she'd be fired.THEN I read this! Thank you Steph!💕

michaellockard avatar
Michael Lockard
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trisha: Thank you for your well written response. We can tell you are a beautiful person in your kind words!

sammygatts avatar
Unicornlover
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Melts my heart to see people like this.. I wish there was more people like this

johanna_zamora avatar
Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

UK has a tradition of kids in pubs, from my experience. It's much more "local" and people tend to be from the neighborhood. That's what my experience in rural Kent evinced.

johnlouis avatar
John Louis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as the person's behavior is not an obvious distraction to other patrons, this should not be an issue.

k2merickson avatar
Kristine Erickson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think the dad asked permission to enter due to the wheelchair. I think he asked because they were going into a drinking establishment and the kid is clearly underage, and the bar owner may have misunderstood the question. And why the giant picture of the bar owner? Now before anyone gets mad at me, trust me I know that handicap access is a huge issue and this post has given a sounding board for this.

theryanmiller81 avatar
Bear Trapp
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's nice that she did that for them and all, but I feel like the post was not as much about "spreading the word", as it was about free publicity. You can do nice things and not have to shout it to the world.

ellen-arndt avatar
Ellen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On that token, you could argue that there's no altruism because people only do good deeds to benefit themselves. You can always argue something like that, but why even go there

Load More Replies...
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