As Amy Bohnert, a psychologist who researches child development at Loyola University, said, there are a lot of different ways to raise kids, and there's no magic formula that works for every one of them. There are, however, general guidelines that can help moms and dads to cover the basics. And people can find them on Big Life Journal's social media.
This organization is more than parenting tips. Its founder Alexandra Eidens told Bored Panda that, "Big Life Journal is a growth-mindset company for children and teens. Through our journals, Big Life Kids podcast, and parenting education, we've empowered millions of families and classrooms around the world to help their children develop the mindset they need to achieve anything they want in life."
Eidens and her team achieve that by equipping parents with "science-backed tools for helping their children build bulletproof confidence, emotional intelligence, and the bright-eyed determination to follow their dreams."
Bringing up a child is a funny thing— we all think we're good at it but often experience great uncertainty along the way. Continue scrolling and check out the things Big Life Journal talks about with their online followers, who knows, maybe they're just what you need to make your journey less bumpy.
More info: biglifejournal.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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My dad has never understood this. I don't talk to him about my problems
The team at Big Life Journal made the decision to start sharing parenting tips on social media not because they were chasing empty clicks and likes. "Over time we realized how much parents want to learn and get better in parenting," Eidens said.
"We also realized that no tools for children can help if children do not receive the right messages at home. The words we use with children have a great impact on their developing minds. There are subtle differences in language that make a dramatic effect on whether our children believe in their unlimited potential or get consumed by self-doubt and fears."
They need space and support to be children, but they need to be thought how to become functional adults in society, which has some rules though. So they also need to learn what means "no" and how to network the relationship with other individuals in the society.
Agreed. For example, "Look but don't touch." That rule goes in stores.
Load More Replies...On that first note, one of the saddest childhood moments I've witnessed was a woman walking into church with a young child and immediately he started jumping up and down dancing to the music. The woman quickly berated him. I was in such shock I didn't say anything. It made me sad that most people have this experience in church buildings, feeling like you have to shove away yourself. But it hurt more to see it in action imposed on a child who was jumping for joy, as he should. Like, the building is made for the people not the other way around. I hope to remember this when I have kids. Things are for people, not people for things. A child's curiosity is always worth more than money or appearances.
The church I went to as a teen had to learn to cope with children being children. I mean, the minister was already understanding and accepting of everyone, including wearing whatever they felt comfortable. The older members on the other hand, particularly the ones without kids of their own, had some lessons to learn. My sister was 2 1/2 when we started going there, and was undiagnosed ADHD. She would run all around the church when a part of the service caught her attention, including one day when she ran up past the minister and the alter to the choir section where my grandma was, almost knocking over a vase! Anyway, the minister was great at welcoming children and presenting worship in ways to engage them, but also encouraged the adults to join in. So interactive stories while sitting on the floor, singing songs in rounds across the sections of the church, having clapping sticks, bells etc for the kids to pick up and play during hymns.
Load More Replies...Young children, before they reach an age of reason, usually 7, are impulsive. Don't expect a reasonable answer when asking them why they did something. Getting angry at them just scares them.
"Society says children should...". The child has becomes societies proxy for telling parents how to do their job. If a child is acting up, as society says above, it's because that child's parents haven't done their job. At the same time society denigrates parents who are doing their job because a parent isn't doing their job in the exact way that society deems it should be done. The truth is, society is made up of a bunch of ignorant arm chair quarterbacks.
I think the worst thing a teacher can tell a parent is, "your child has so much potential". Without guidance, this is not only worthless info, it's actually quite detrimental to the kid's development.
the look and dont touch rule is all on the parents dont take kids somewhere, where they cant look and touch, or move things from where little hands can reach
If you don't take your children to places where they can practice how to behave and function in society, then they won't learn.
Load More Replies...I know this is a joke, but if you're that bothered by children, you should stay home. They're equal members of society with just as much right to be in public as you. I'm sure you'd never say something like this about an autistic adult with a loud verbal tic or an elderly person with a hearing impairment who spoke loudly. Children aren't their parent's accessories. They're people with full human rights to be themselves, who simply need care and guidance.
Load More Replies...Children growing in an abundant environment fail in life compared to children growing up in a hard life environment. Wherever you get every requirement, abundant food, comfortable living, money to spend, children fail to be responsible adults.
So long as parents teach respect for other people and other people's property. They need to request permission before touching other people's things (and shouldn't be allowed to just destroy everything in stores because they are 'exploring'). They should also be taught respect for animals and nature. It annoys me when parents just let kids do whatever they like because they are 'exploring' and 'need to be kids'. Kids can do those things without impinging on the rights of others (especially in public places).
But they should learn boundaries and respect for other people’s property. Not EVERYTHING should be shared.
Load More Replies..."Our aim is to support parents in a mindful way while understanding that we all do our best with the resources we have at the moment. In our social media content, we provide strategies and specific tactics to build consistent progress toward raising a confident, self-loving child. We help parents understand the science behind these tools and explain ways to integrate these parenting strategies into their daily lives."
The people who follow Big Life Journal have told them time and time again that during stressful parenting situations they are able to step back, look in their "toolbox", and see what they have available to implement.
"Our parenting tips revolve around mindset, self-esteem, confidence, resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-love," Eidens explained.
In some situations, these may apply, but you also don't want your child to grow up afraid of physical contact, unable to engage or share with others, a fussy eater or selfish and entitled. There will be situations in life where others trust them with their feelings, and teaching them they have no responsibility for the feelings of others is simply bad parenting.
All of the hard work that goes into curating their social media accounts didn't go to waste. On the contrary. "We've been blown away by the wave of responses from hundreds of thousands of parents and educators," Alexandra Eidens added.
It's what reassured Big Life Journal that they're on the right track."We understand that this is a great indicator that parents want and need solid research-based strategies in bite form. We've built a dedicated team of researchers and editors who are working day and night to craft these parenting tips and provide the best support we can."
i can't completely get with the "everything after but" part. it's saying that you don't care why they did it, you don't want any context. it's important to understand why something happened.
One reason that could explain why everyone at Big Life Journal remains so passionate about their followers is its humble beginnings. The organization is actually a family-owned business.
"It all started when my husband and I started creating tools to help our own children develop the mindset they need to live their fullest lives. We still can't believe how fast and big our company grew since we started in 2017," Eidens said. "It is an indicator that so many parents (and educators) are realizing how important it is to focus on our children's thoughts and beliefs about themselves and the world. Mindset is truly everything."
Hell, this is what I say to my angry husband (before you get concerned about my safety, he gets angry about crap that happens at work, and just vents about it to me—-I’m kind of like his sounding board).
So, I should have lied to my parents? Fact is, I would have learned more had I been raised by wolves.
Positive reinforcement for positive behavior tends to make anyone want to keep it up. We’re like Pavlov’s dogs when it come to genuine appreciation and praise, no matter how modest we may be. I know I’m like the majority when I say I thrive and want to stay in upbeat situations, and only want to get finished and get out of, and stay as far away from as possible, any negative ones I can’t avoid.
Being too hard on children just makes them resent you and want to leave as soon as they can—-and cut you and your toxicity out of their lives permanently.
In other words, don’t be a child yourself. Be a grownup and control your emotions and impulses.
Instead of calling it “whining time”, how about calling it “time to register complaints” instead?
My parents had us do a love language quiz a few years back. I think mine was either gifts or quality time. And physical affection was a zero, mainly because the scenarios were so weird to me. "You finished your homework today! High five!"
Just tell them you’re here for them when they’re ready to talk about it. Then leave them alone and let THEM seek you out. If they don’t within a reasonable time (operative word is reasonable), then just check in, but don’t press them.
And watch your tone of voice! Make sure it matches the words you’re saying! You can even say “Great job!” and “It looks nice”, if you’re genuinely proud their efforts and the end result. Just be sure to expand on that praise with a specifics you’re also proud of, such as their creativity and/or the time and effort they put into it. Just don’t go overboard, or it starts to sound hollow.
If your child asks why, please DO try to explain. If they arent asking why and are upset, let them have their feelings as explained in other pics.
This depends on the amount and situation. Some of this can also get out of hand.
I work with a student with autism, and she hates it when people tells her to 'try harder,' or say 'you didn't even try'. "When they say you aren't trying, what they mean is you aren't succeeding. Sometimes I'm trying as hard as I can, but that just isn't good enough for them."
Kids manipulate people all the time. They're trying it out to see if it works and whether it's rewarding or not. It's totally understandable. Instead of labeling it "challenging behavior" because we're uncomfortable with the idea of small children being manipulative, maybe just help kids see that manipulating other people won't yield the results they're hoping for. But kids are smart. I have young children and they know what they're doing. It's not insidious, they're not Machiavelli or anything. They're just trying it out.
Just don’t overdo it. In fact, don’t overdo anything in this article. Adjust it to your own family’s “style”. Whatever everyone’s comfortable with when they’re at home and can finally relax.
Note: this post originally had 63 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
i agree with most of these but where's the discipline. you cant honestly let them think they don't have to share don't have to have manors and can be as rude and disrespectful as possible.
You have to share: what's your address? Im coming to share all your stuff :)
Load More Replies...One of my favourite pandas and topics so far. Little people are so fascinating! Would also recommend literature from Jesper Juul on that topic. One big thing for me was also learning to apologize to my children when I screw up, yeah we all slip and shout at them or something else, admitting that every style of parenting has flaws and that it will never reach a perfect state, but that this is okay as long as the children feel loved and supported. Another thing is feeling induced parenting. Of course they are important, but feelings can be treacherous, they can lie to us as we all know. A child should know that relying purely on their feelings is not always the best choice. Living a life based on doing what you feel like today is problematic because there are things that sometimes just need to be done despite how we feel about it, like having an honest conversation about something, doing the dishes etc.
I only made it to somewhere between 10 & 15 but one thing that was common in this sample is that not a single one of them gave any indication, in their respective language, that each child should be engaged in a manner that best fits their INDIVIDUAL personalities. In all that I read I saw nothing but happy, happy; joy, joy mentality. Life is not all happy and joy. Life is hard and filled with compromises and more often than not these compromises aren't what an individual wants.
Look, the general premises here are sound, but they just don't allow for the reality of child rearing, which is that even the most devoted parents cannot function like robots and do and say all the right things all the time. People need to know that parenting is full of pitfalls and mistakes and regrets and nobody on this planet has ever been able to achieve the levels of total perfection, self-control and wisdom as outlined above. Parenting is hard enough, without making people beat themselves up for only being human.
I’ve had success adapting small pieces of this advice into my parenting, but taken at face value, I agree that many of these are laughably undoable for parents who, like their children, *also* deal with emotions and stress.
Load More Replies...These are very clever and interesting ideas, and they don’t just have to be for parents. Teachers, older siblings and babysitters can use these to. I’m going to write some of these down, and try to remember them if I am babysitting
Well some of us need to have another child period to fix some issues
my friends child thrives off discipline, and it seems to some how calm her down and make her happy, when she's with his mam she's purposely naughty, i understand some people don't believe kids can be purposely naughty but ye they really can be. if she knows you've hurt your foot she will happily trample on it as hard as she can because she wants to see you cry. and the parent does what they can but. she knows never to try anything like that with me, not because i'm an a**e hole but because i will happily tell her in a way a child needs to be told. you can scream at your child, hit them, but all that means is you've lost it. how can you think you can control a child if you cant even control your self.
i agree with most of these but where's the discipline. you cant honestly let them think they don't have to share don't have to have manors and can be as rude and disrespectful as possible.
You have to share: what's your address? Im coming to share all your stuff :)
Load More Replies...One of my favourite pandas and topics so far. Little people are so fascinating! Would also recommend literature from Jesper Juul on that topic. One big thing for me was also learning to apologize to my children when I screw up, yeah we all slip and shout at them or something else, admitting that every style of parenting has flaws and that it will never reach a perfect state, but that this is okay as long as the children feel loved and supported. Another thing is feeling induced parenting. Of course they are important, but feelings can be treacherous, they can lie to us as we all know. A child should know that relying purely on their feelings is not always the best choice. Living a life based on doing what you feel like today is problematic because there are things that sometimes just need to be done despite how we feel about it, like having an honest conversation about something, doing the dishes etc.
I only made it to somewhere between 10 & 15 but one thing that was common in this sample is that not a single one of them gave any indication, in their respective language, that each child should be engaged in a manner that best fits their INDIVIDUAL personalities. In all that I read I saw nothing but happy, happy; joy, joy mentality. Life is not all happy and joy. Life is hard and filled with compromises and more often than not these compromises aren't what an individual wants.
Look, the general premises here are sound, but they just don't allow for the reality of child rearing, which is that even the most devoted parents cannot function like robots and do and say all the right things all the time. People need to know that parenting is full of pitfalls and mistakes and regrets and nobody on this planet has ever been able to achieve the levels of total perfection, self-control and wisdom as outlined above. Parenting is hard enough, without making people beat themselves up for only being human.
I’ve had success adapting small pieces of this advice into my parenting, but taken at face value, I agree that many of these are laughably undoable for parents who, like their children, *also* deal with emotions and stress.
Load More Replies...These are very clever and interesting ideas, and they don’t just have to be for parents. Teachers, older siblings and babysitters can use these to. I’m going to write some of these down, and try to remember them if I am babysitting
Well some of us need to have another child period to fix some issues
my friends child thrives off discipline, and it seems to some how calm her down and make her happy, when she's with his mam she's purposely naughty, i understand some people don't believe kids can be purposely naughty but ye they really can be. if she knows you've hurt your foot she will happily trample on it as hard as she can because she wants to see you cry. and the parent does what they can but. she knows never to try anything like that with me, not because i'm an a**e hole but because i will happily tell her in a way a child needs to be told. you can scream at your child, hit them, but all that means is you've lost it. how can you think you can control a child if you cant even control your self.