Being a college professor is certainly not the easiest job, especially when there are many students who'd rather be anywhere else in the world than in the classroom. Many professors believe that these students just need some proper motivation, however even they admit that's not always the case. Bored Panda has compiled a list of professor's stories (and a couple of students) who agree that some students are just, well, not that smart.

Scroll below to read these cringe-worthy stories and don't forget to share your opinion in the comments!

professors-share-dumbest-students-stories-1

Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)

#1

I'm a French Teacher, so I'm not sure if this counts but here goes: everone in the class had a fairly lengthy piece of French homework, and one student put the entire thing in Google translate, but translated it to Spanish.

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Nash Nopper
Community Member
2 years ago

hhahahahahahahaaha best one!

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#2

This happened in high school. Senior year.
Our teacher was talking about the phases of the moon and this girl raised her hand and ask if other countries have moons too. She thought the moon was only for the US.

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

Of course, the red, white, and blue moon!

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#3

Not a professor but back when I was in highschool; I was a library aide and I was walking into classrooms distributing some books and I walked into a class with the professor in the middle of an angry lecture on plagiarism because one of the students turned in an essay that started with "In my 25+ years of experience in this field."

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Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
2 years ago

Okay.. just.. wow.

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#4

A student in my economics class started his final essay with this:

“We are all familiar with the country, Africa. Yet at the same time we know little about them. All we know is that it is hot there, African Americans live there and they are really poor. This begs the question, why is Africa that poor?”

It was just so jam-packed with stupid I had to stop grading for 24 hours.

Edit: For the record, this was indeed a college student.

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
2 years ago

Starts badly and just keeps on getting worse. Though the second sentence is basically true - the student definitely knows little about 'them'.

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#5

I didn’t believe any student was dumb - he/she may only have needed the right motivation. Until I met RJ. RJ was dumb. RJ didn’t realize that the chicken we eat was the same as the animal. RJ was 21 at the time.

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Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
2 years ago

Okay.. that's just weird.

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#6

High School Teacher. Many years ago, I was showing my students clips from Romeo and Juliet. Student stared at the screen in total bewilderment for a few minutes. Then she said, serious as a cancer diagnosis, "How can he be in this movie? He died in Titanic."

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That Fat Mouse
Community Member
2 years ago

Haha!

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#7

I had a student plagiarize on the final exam. It was a take home, essay/short answer exam. They knew to cite any sources, and to put it in their own words.

The kicker? This particularly bright bulb plagiarized me. The professor. She tried to pass off MY WORDS as her own.

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Susann Campbell
Community Member
2 years ago

Did she actually know your name the whole semester ?

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#8

I once gave a university student a C on a philosophy paper. She looked at me and said, “Do you know who my father is?”

To this day, I don’t know who he was, but her grade did not change.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Alicia Hawkins
Community Member
2 years ago

"My dad's the inventor of Toaster Strudel, and he will NOT be happy to hear about this."

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GiantSpaceTiger
Community Member
2 years ago

"No, but please give him my condolences".

Eulalie Grace
Community Member
2 years ago

Maybe SHE didn't know?

Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes, they should have answered, "Why, don't you?"

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jamie1707
Community Member
2 years ago

I HATE people who pull that kind of thing! Some awful woman once said to me "do you know who my husband is?" and I answered "a poor pathetic soul". She hit me.

Bartek Pietka
Community Member
2 years ago

I would hit her back

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Mixedupste
Community Member
2 years ago

I would have said yes and then changed it to a D!

Neal Evans
Community Member
2 years ago

Maybe she was hoping the teacher would know so she could finally meet the deadbeat

Andre Rozenshtekher
Community Member
2 years ago

Maybe she genuinely wanted to know who her father was?

Falcon
Community Member
2 years ago

Plot twist.

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Michael Morris
Community Member
2 years ago

I would have changed her grade to a D for the implied threat.

Claire Hoyt
Community Member
2 years ago

Sounds like a Malfoy..

panda
Community Member
2 years ago

Vader?

FleurTangClan
Community Member
2 years ago

The inventor of toaster strudel?

Ben Smith
Community Member
2 years ago

That person would be so wealthy that their kids would never have to go to college. LoL

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Tony Moon
Community Member
2 years ago

I had a student blatantly looking at her neighbors paper, so badly that I had to move her because she was actually causing her neighbor to feel uncomfortable. Prior to moving her however, I took some photos just in case something happened later and I had to show them.... Needless to say, her father got a lawyer involved when I failed her final exam (she was already at a 59 for the semester), and of course I got a nasty gram from her lawyer... I sent him to my schools legal office and sent them my photos with time stamps and everything..... Never heard from them again.

Miklós Nagy
Community Member
2 years ago

Darth Vader?

BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Entitled brat!

Nicklas Linder
Community Member
2 years ago

I swear, if any of my kids use this and I get to hear about it, THEY will know who their father is! I'm no one special, is what I am, so... :-D

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
2 years ago

Does she know?

Andrew Coleman
Community Member
10 months ago

There's a joke in Plato: 'Is that dog yours?' 'Yes' 'Is that dog a father?' 'Yes' 'Then that dog must be your father'

Teoh Chin
Community Member
10 months ago

Does she have a servant called Dobby by chance?

Aragorn II Elessar
Community Member
1 year ago

My father died in the woods, but his great great great great grandfather almost killed Sauron, so try me.

Falcon
Community Member
2 years ago

Holy crap, people actually say that in real life?

Erol Bozkurt
Community Member
2 years ago

You've got it all wrong. She really wanted to learn who her father was.

Leigh Allen
Community Member
2 years ago

I was teaching Real Estate Law and Principles to nearly all adults,however the college students could take the course for credit as part of their business degree. A pretty (spoiled) little girl took the class which has three exams of 100 questions each. Must get a 75 average to pass the class, or 225 points total to pass. On the first tests she scored 35 to 40 correct answers. I explained to it was not possible for her to pass the class. She returned anyway, sat thru the rest of the class, took the last test, again with 40 correct. I pulled her outside the classroom to explain she did not pass. She came back to her seat at the front of a room of 35 students, put her head down and started sobbing. Then she said to me and the class, "How could you do that. My Dad paid money for me to take this class." She never looked at the book or took a note - just sat thru the class.

Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago

I was a T.A. for a professor of Anthropology Labs. I was responsible for grading the papers. After handing back brutally graded papers one afternoon (the students did not read the instructions where it said to round your answer to 2 decimals) one girl approached me to tell me I had given her a B in error. She says "It can't be a B, I got straight A's all through high school." I took one look at her and said "Welcome to college."

Debbie
Community Member
2 years ago

:-D

Elizabeth Tunney
Community Member
2 months ago

Draco, when did you have a daughter? I thought that the Malfoy bloodline was done for, as every lady would say” “I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself,thanks.”

Ron Santos
Community Member
2 months ago

Immanuel Kant?

Max L.
Community Member
2 months ago

No, but I can tell your mother name is Karen.

Susan Lighon
Community Member
2 months ago

Gee I don't know... Aristotle? Socrates? Descartes?

Margaret Harris
Community Member
10 months ago

The classic answer is 'Sorry, maybe you should ask your mother !'

Tapti Roy
Community Member
10 months ago

One of mine tried pulling this stunt. I said, "Yes, a lion". His father was a member of the Lions International

David Rothauser
Community Member
10 months ago

Your job is at stake...

Eugene Dominic Andaya
Community Member
10 months ago

Are you sure you're not teaching a Lannister?

Steve McLean
Community Member
10 months ago

Karen? Is that you?

Phil Desp
Community Member
10 months ago

he best reply is , no do you?

Ken Clarke
Community Member
10 months ago

Plato?

Madzdad the bard
Community Member
10 months ago

No, do you?

David McLaughlin
Community Member
10 months ago

Why didn't you ask the student--Do You?

Jonathan Lavoie
Community Member
10 months ago

I would haved answer:" Yes and i owned him a D-" and change her grade. I don't respond well to threat.

Bojidar Stanchev
Community Member
10 months ago

maybe she doesnt as well....

Ranklin Francisco
Community Member
10 months ago

She is now a full fledged KAREN.

Jenny Tung
Community Member
10 months ago

I think she could be having amnesia.

Sue Knerl
Community Member
10 months ago

Was her name Karen?

SeidWolf
Community Member
10 months ago

Ah, another young aspiring "Karen"

Jakob Asmussen
Community Member
10 months ago

Well, at least she knows how USA works.

Jo Johannsen
Community Member
10 months ago

So sad! Maybe she should have asked her mother that question?

Hugh Walter
Community Member
10 months ago

The answer is always; "No, I'm afraid I don't, have you tried asking your mother, she should know?"?

ebony perren
Community Member
1 year ago

whats a father

Myles van Loveren Geis
Community Member
1 year ago

OMG, My father's epicness will crush your teaching career.

Bread loaf
Community Member
2 years ago

MY LAWYER, TOO!

Marilac G M Fernandez
Community Member
2 years ago

Luck I am your father😂

Jane Alexander
Community Member
2 years ago

The correct answer to "Do you know who my father is"? is; "No, do you?"

Ray Lebowski
Community Member
2 years ago

I had a college classmate who thought she was Important because her father was on the team that invented Pringles. She wasn't good-looking, either.

Alvin J Frazier
Community Member
2 years ago

wow, she didn't even know her own father. thats not dumb, just unfortunate. (i jest!)

Farnaz Khoshbakht
Community Member
2 years ago

happened to me twice. Student still remained failed.

Joanne Hudson
Community Member
2 years ago

I lost all respect for an A list actress who yelled "Do you know who I am?" at a cop who pulled over her husband for drunk driving. I can't stand to look at her any more.

Ray Lebowski
Community Member
2 years ago

That was Reese Witherspoon.

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blue-stars
Community Member
2 years ago

He’s probably rich, which is all I can tell from this sort of attitude.

Edwin Lesperance
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes. Her father is Dissapointed.

Rafael Ulloa
Community Member
2 years ago

Ask Maury

Janice Seagraves
Community Member
2 years ago

Probably some dumb rich kid.

Sharon Vaughn
Community Member
2 years ago

She thought she could trump him?

Tesa Guevara
Community Member
2 years ago

duh

bpanther
Community Member
2 years ago

Yeah... he's the one that should have quietly rolled over and gone to sleep 'that' night !!

Zytush
Community Member
2 years ago

"I am sorry, this changes everything. Here's a C minus."

Lisa Shelton
Community Member
2 years ago

I would have said "No, but I'm sure you could use a paternity test to find out".

Lu
Community Member
2 years ago

Unless it’s Ned Stark, don’t care.

Kristine Johnson
Community Member
2 years ago

Maybe she didn’t know either, poor thing.

Leo Fragoso
Community Member
2 years ago

Maybe she was really asking. Like: "Do you Know who my father is? Becouse I don't. It would help me out a lot"

Mitzie Remien
Community Member
2 years ago

Probably Draco Malfoy..

Tamás Csürke
Community Member
2 years ago

His name was Luke...

Robert Morson
Community Member
2 years ago

"Do any of us really know who our fathers are?"

Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
2 years ago

So great!

Sophia Cai
Community Member
2 years ago

Reminds me of Chloe Bourgeois..

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago

Was her name Leia Organa?

Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

That Rump daughter

Barbara Baxendale
Community Member
2 years ago

Shame, she doesn't know who her father is!!

Sarah Mages
Community Member
2 years ago

Oh my. Mama must have perpetuated this! SAD (or maybe Dad did)

Ruth Neighbor
Community Member
2 years ago

“Luke, I am your father”

Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
2 years ago

Well, if he was anyone else than Darth Vader, then it doesn't matter.

Auria Otero
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes. But was that an existencialista question?

Johanna Kidd
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes, he' s her father, thats who he is! Just ask her&she'l tell you

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#9

May or may not be dumb, but my friend and I went to her uncle's house which had this piece of paper framed and put on the wall. It was a 0/20 on a true or false quiz. Her uncle was a professor and was just too impressed by such an achievement that he had to put it in his home.

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Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
2 years ago

HOW??

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#10

One of my students told me he was going to be 21 when he graduated high school. I asked him why. He explained that he ages TWO YEARS every year. He is 15 turning 16 so that is 2 years. He is probably right that he will not graduate HS til age 21, but not for the reason he mentioned lol

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K. LNU
Community Member
2 years ago

He is going to math so hard when he graduates!

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#11

Not a professor, but I worked at my university’s tutoring center while in college. Had one student who was a sports science major and would come in for tutoring for every single class. He had to do this because he was barely literate, as in reading MAYBE on a first-grade level. One of his assignments was to write about an important African-American figure. He asked me what African-American meant. The student was African-American.

For the record, I don’t blame him for being dumb. I blame every single teacher he ever had whose responsibility it was to ensure that he was learning, and instead just passed him on so he would be someone else’s problem.

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NeverBored
Community Member
2 years ago

(Insert sarcastic tone, here.) Perhaps the parents of this child are culpable, as well? I mean, I assume they should take a little responsibility for raising their child and - oh, I don't know - teaching him one or two things. For instance, letting him know he's African American would be helpful. Oh well, I'll just add, "tell students what race I think they are," to my lesson plans this weekend. We teachers get paid too much anyway since all we do is play with a bunch of kids for 9 months and kick it all summer. I wonder why more people don't do it.

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#12

I had a student who wrote an art history paper about Leonard Davin Chi. Didn't even run that sucker through a spellcheck or anything. Referred to him as that throughout the entire paper.

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Kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago

or Donna Tell Hoe?... we miss a turtle now

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#13

Happened in the first week of a college anthropology course:

Prof: "Let's list a few basic differences between modern humans and animals"

Student: "We have a heart beat"

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Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
2 years ago

And they have functional minds

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#14

One of my husband's colleagues said a kid came up to him after an exam and said, "I didn't know the answers to the questions you asked on the test, so I made up my own questions and answered them." The professor said, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, and when I go to lunch, I'm going to tell all my friends."

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McSploofenberry Clabersauce
Community Member
2 years ago

I like that kid XD

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#15

I had a student this year who plagiarised in an assignment ABOUT plagiarism... This included copy-pasting the definition of plagiarism from Wikipedia.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

Illuminati confirmed.

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#16

One student asking the difference between psychopath and psychologist, in criminology class.

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Debbie
Community Member
2 years ago

aaannddddd...

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#17

I am not a professor, but I watched one facepalm after my classmate said this:

"Ugh! I don't even know what a verb IS!"

This was in an advanced linguistics course for would-be English teachers.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

...I honestly have nothing to say about this.

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#18

I'm late and not a professor, but I share this one any chance I get. 10th grade, I had a girl in my class ask the teacher how long it would take for a submarine to travel from the Florida to California... going underneath the country.

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LYN FRENCH
Community Member
2 years ago

That's deep.

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#19

Had a kid skip my class every day. I had a working discussion section one day every other week where the students would work on one of the homework assignments together in groups -- the kid would show up during the last 10 minutes of class to join a group and put his name on an assignment. Only time I ever saw him.

So I gave him a 0 for all group work and a 0 for participation (basically just some free points because I'd randomly call on people to talk about the readings)

After he gets his grade, he wants to argue about the fact that I punished him even though I said I wasn't going to take attendance.

No, motherfu*ker -- I'm punishing you because you didn't do shit, and you tried to scam off of other kids that did.

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Paige Honey
Community Member
2 years ago

amazing, need more professors like this one

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#20

My mom isn’t a professor, but she sometimes supervises college students who study under her in a practicum setting. She was on a home visit with a student once (she’s a social worker), and the family was showing my mom and the student around their farm. The matriarch of the family was gathering chicken eggs and commented on how small some of them were. The student suggested placing them back in the hen’s nest so that they would have more time to grow. This senior in college thought that eggs grow bigger the longer they can remain in the nest, like vegetables or something. This is also in a very rural place where probably half the population has some kind of farm or livestock.

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That Fat Mouse
Community Member
2 years ago

oh god....

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#21

I teach a class on the history of Psychology. When covering the chapter on behaviorism, and discussing the ideas of its founder, John Watson, who was a determinist (did not believe in free will) - a student asked me in the middle of class that if he was a determinist, why did he advocate free will in the Sherlock Holmes book?

I was really taken aback by that one.

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
2 years ago

At least he grasped the concept I guess.

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#22

I wouldn't say dumb, but definitely baffling and annoying. She had somehow gotten all the way to college still believing that weirdly and creepily exaggerated coy-little-girl flirting would get her what she wanted, including with female faculty. It was cringey to see in action - literally tilting her head to the side, playing with her hair, pivoting her leg back and forth mannerisms, combined with semi-childish speech patterns while glancing up through her eyelashes. Definitely "I'm only talking to this one in front of witnesses" territory.

She told me that she was reading and studying every night and still not making progress on tests and needed help. I explained how to make written study materials to help her absorb information better. She said she'd done that and reviewed the materials regularly, but still wasn't seeing results. Genuinely concerned and puzzled, I asked her to bring me her materials next class period and we'd go over them to make sure they were accurate and useful. She agreed.

Next class period rolls around. She announces, with even more exaggerated mannerisms, that wouldn't you know it - she was so frustrated with her score on her last test (returned before our earlier conversation) that she'd thrown her study materials into the trash in a fit of anger and they were all gone. Almost as if they had never existed.

I looked her in the eye and said, "I think you should consider, then, that self-discipline may be playing a role in your grades in my class." She huffed and pouted in outrage, and I never saw her again.

What makes me sad is that clearly someone, almost certainly her family, had taught her that these behaviors worked. No one sticks to a behavior that strongly unless she has had success with it.

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't understand what the leg pivot thing is supposed to be. And you'd be surprised how often that ridiculous trash DOES work.

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#23

Not a prof but we had a creative writing assignment where we were given a piece of paper with a list of 5 unusual words to use in a poem.

I read my poem, which used all the words, and a girl went on an angry rant over the fact that I had used a bunch of obscure words that she didn't understand.

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That Fat Mouse
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This isn't dumb, really. Maybe the words were very difficult and strange that may not have been used regularly in normal, casual speech. Shakespeare or other literature maybe?

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#24

Not a professor, but someone in my class asked, "After a C-section, do they put the baby back in?"

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Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
2 years ago

The whole point is to take it out..

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#25

A friend was substitute teaching a high school math class and was to proctor a test for the students. At one point during the test a student got up to ask if he knew what 8 x 7 was, but before he could respond another student said " sit down....he doesn't know the answer to that....he's a substitute teacher not a math teacher."

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

OOF

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#26

Not a professor, but I was helping out a younger friend’s classmate revise for his O-level (15-16 year olds) maths exam.

He had some past papers with him, so I looked through them and got him started with a simple problem to try and gauge how much he knew. The question provided some measurements in millimetres, asked you to do some basic number crunching, and finally provide the answer in metres.

He attempted it for a few minutes, but didn’t cover any ground, so he asked for help. I then went through the number crunching with him step by step and prompted him to do the final conversion to metres thinking it would be trivial.

He stared at me blankly.

Me: “How many millimetres are there in a metre?”

Student: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What does ‘milli’ mean?”

Student: “...”

I take out his foot ruler and place it in front of him.

Me: “Show me a millimetre on this ruler.”

No response.

Me: “What do the lines represent?”

He gives me some bullshit answer that makes no sense.

Me: “Have you never used a ruler before!?”

I then proceed to explain to him what the millimetre and centimetre marks on the ruler are. I also explain to him that they are 1/1000 and 1/100 of a metre respectively and that the words “milli” and “centi” imply as much.

Me: “Okay, now that you know what these are and what proportion of a metre they are, can you show me how large a metre is approximately?”

I expected him to stretch his arms out and just say “about this much”.

Student: “Umm... from here to [nearby shopping mall]?”

I just stared at him in disbelief. I was honestly shocked. The shopping mall he referred to was at least 1-2 kilometres away. His exam was in 3 days. How did he even make it this far in school?

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Allie K.
Community Member
2 years ago

...

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#27

When my mom was a history teacher at a local high school, they went on a trip to Spain.

One girl, let's call her Megan, was not quite a clever student. They went to a restaurant to eat and Megan was looking at the menu. She was frowning the whole time and made some "hmm, hmm" noises and looked like she was struggling with the language. My mom told her there was an English menu on the other page, because she didn't understand Spanish.

3 minutes later she still looked confused. My mom asked her what was wrong.

Megan then ask my mom why the English language was so different than they learned at school. Megan didn't understand a word.

My mom looked at her menu, went quiet for a second and told megan she was reading the German menu.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

What pains me is that she didn't know that German was obviously a different language. I mean, Klassischer Kartoffelsalat does not sound anything like English.

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#28

Actually one of the smarter kids in my class. Ethics, awareness of social norms...not so much. He sent me an email after the semester ended, asking if I'd mind telling my next semester class that his digital textbook was available for sale. Oh, and that it's a PDF so if multiple people want it, he can sell them all copies. I responded that I admire his entrepreneurial spirit, but it probably wasn't a good idea to solicit his professor's help in starting a piracy-based book selling business.

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Terror from Beyond Space
Community Member
2 years ago

Aaarrrgh!

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#29

As a GA teaching freshman English, I had a couple instances of cheating that left me speechless. First, my university uses an online plagiarism checker and the students know this. With one student, over half of his essay was copied from a website. He looked genuinely shocked when I called him out on it, and then told me that his mother wrote the paper for him. I explained that his mother writing his paper was also cheating. Then he asked if he could get credit for the half that wasn't from a website.

Another time, the students had to analyze a movie showing how it used the Hero's Journey as plot structure. This was an easy assignment seeing as how nearly every modern movie uses this structure. The student copied the Wikipedia summary of Aladdin word for word, and he denied doing it. He argued it was a coincidence that his entire essay was the exact same as Wikipedia's.

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Paul K. Johnson
Community Member
2 years ago

He's the monkey who wrote Shakespeare.

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#30

History. Prof. is talking about some expedition or something and mentions Antarctica, is standing in front of a world map. Girl raises her hand. Asks, "excuse me, but where IS Antarctica?"

Prof. stands there unable to answer for a few seconds, then raises his arm to the map and goes, "right heeeeeereeeeeeee!" While running his hand under Antarctica and making exaggerated Vanna White motions.

Girl goes, "oh, ok!"

I was a little scared. More for the professor. He had that, "I am severely underpaid" expression.

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BREAK YOUr perceptions
Community Member
2 years ago

and people wonder why some believe the earth is still flat.

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#31

Not a professor. In the midst of an English Renaissance Literature course, one of my fellow students raised her hand:

“Dr. [Professor]? I am just so...like, how did these people survive without Wally World?”

She meant WalMart. She wanted to know how Renaissance-era people survived without WalMart.

Our professor stared at her for a couple seconds, and then moved on with his lecture as if he hadn’t heard.

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Allie K.
Community Member
2 years ago

Why about Ye Olde Wal of Marte?

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#32

Not a professor. Heard some arguing from the chemistry class with some one shouting "but Mercury is a planet! How can can there be two Mercurys?"

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That Fat Mouse
Community Member
2 years ago

Oh god.

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#33

I don't know if this qualifies as dumb or is closer to stupid, but...I had a student who didn't show up for class regularly, and her grade was going to be a C, maybe a D depending on her final exam. What made her dumb, however, was how she tried to cheat on the final exam. She reached down into her bag and took out her phone, put it on the desk, typed something into it, looked at the test, looked at her phone, looked back at her test, rechecked her phone, then answered whatever question she was looking up. Just to make sure, I let her do it one more time. I was watching her THE WHOLE TIME, and she was completely oblivious to it. She got an F.

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McSploofenberry Clabersauce
Community Member
2 years ago

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Wow, she cheated and she still got an F... that’s just sad

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#34

Not a professor but in my psychology class there was this one girl that would ask questions every three minutes, not the good questions either you know? like the ones where the teacher didn't full on explain things or anything that would make the discussion better just the type of dumb questions where the teacher had literally said what she was asking about two minutes ago.

Anyways, we were viewing a map of cultural stereotypes and in Mexico it said "Maids and Gardeners" (which, okay, fair enough, its just a stereotype) but this girl legit looks at it, looks at the teacher and says: "That doesn't make any sense because Mexicans don't have gardens. How can they have gardeners?"

As a student, I rolled my eyes. As a Mexican, I burst out laughing. jfc, I can't even be mad, I know she's not racist, she's just ignorant as hell.

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Lyone Fein
Community Member
2 years ago

............because Mexicans don't have gardens...........

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#35

I teach computer engineering at a community college. One of my courses last term had a project component, where every student had a unique project. I posted my own project as an example. (I enrolled in a similar course a few years ago as a professional development activity.)

One student handed in my project, after taking my name off, of course. My feedback included “At what point did you convince yourself that I wouldn’t recognize my own code?”

His final grade ... well below 50.

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Yuval Yosub
Community Member
2 years ago

What, they couldn't be botherd to changethe names of constants and the like?

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#36

In freshman year a girl asked my history teacher if George Washington or Thomas Jefferson invented the lightbulb.

In sophomore year a girl asked if Spain was in the US and the guy behind her said "We don't need to know this! We're American!"

I live in the midwest

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Caroline Espenschied
Community Member
2 years ago

Kids like this guy make me (european) really, really afraid of the average american people...

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#37

I’m not a professor, but I studied modern languages at university and met a girl who had managed to spend an entire year abroad (a compulsory part of the course) living in the country where her language was spoken, working at a job with local people, and sharing a flat with three local people, and after the year was up her language skills had not improved one jot, and her flatmates had to talk to her in English because she couldn’t understand them otherwise.

I mean, I fully appreciate that some people find it much harder than others to learn a foreign language, that’s not actually the part I find dumb. The dumb part is getting into £30K of debt and spending 4 years of her life on a degree, then putting absolutely zero effort into actually learning the thing you’re paying to learn. Actually, to be that bad at the language after a full year you’d have to make an active effort to avoid it, never turn on a television or pick up a magazine, spend all your time in English and Irish themed pubs and ignore anyone who tried to talk to you.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Maybe her parents were paying her tuition.

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#38

I was invigilating a 2hr exam once where students had been given very strong hints about the two essay questions beforehand. A student bustled-in making an incredible racket an hour late. Handed his completed essays in 10 minutes later, written on completely different paper to the stuff given out during the exam, and smirked and waved to everyone as he left. His lecturer marked it anyway and gave him 0% for both - essentially failing him - as the student had answered completely the wrong questions despite the hints, and he figured reporting the student for cheating was 'too much paperwork'. The student appealed the score, threatened the department head when the 0% was upheld, and was expelled.

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That Fat Mouse
Community Member
2 years ago

Ouch. I cant say anything else. just. ouch.

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#39

I had a student who tried to argue that plagiarism wasn't real after ganking the text of a one page paper on velociraptors straight from a top Google search result for them. "But if you read something, then you're just taking the knowledge and thumping it back into a word processor, what's the difference?" She was a criminal justice major.

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That Fat Mouse
Community Member
2 years ago

Oof.

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#40

Not a professor, but a high school math teacher. I had a student who answered a FaceTime call during the final exam. I just took her phone, told the person on the other end “Not a smart idea” and hung up on him. I let her continue the test.

Then I caught her cheating off the guy next to her twice, so I failed her.

And if that wasn’t enough, during the next period’s final exam, she burst into the room on her phone yelling, “‘Sup Mr. AlwaysShamo!” I just yelled “Go away!” and she left. Kid was so self-absorbed and clueless.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

wHaT?

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#41

When I was working as a graduate assistant, the Dean of the graduate school where I worked was reviewing the capstone projects of two police officers who were about to graduate with Master's Degrees in Criminal Justice. She quickly discovered that they had plagiarized. She figured this out because when she opened the electronic documents, there was a significant amount of text that was hyperlinked. The links brought her to Wikipedia.

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Mangoes'nRum
Community Member
2 years ago

'cuff 'em an' take 'em away

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#42

My wife teaches public speaking. The first speech in that class is just a simple narrative speech. Tell a story from your life. She had a freshman tell the class about a time he helped his boss in high school kidnap the boss's child after he had lost a custody battle. The student clearly thought the story would make him look cool and badass. Everyone in the class was horrified.

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

*struck speechless* Statute of imitations?

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#43

In an international relations class:

Teacher: Can anyone name a country in the Middle East where people don't consider themselves Arab? Student: Saudi Arabia.

The worst part? He was Persian.

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Nadja Lambacher
Community Member
2 years ago

oh my...

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#44

I'm not a professor, but I did grade exams, homework (mainly worksheets), and some papers for a few professors back in college.

Hands down, the dumbest student I ever saw was one who turned in a photocopy of his friend's homework. Yes, a straight-up, minimally edited Xerox. He had made the tiiiiiiiniest effort to trace over the first few answers in pen, but had stopped well before the end of the first page. Of a 5-plus page worksheet.

The best part was that his friend's name was still clearly visible on the first page of the worksheet. This guy hadn't even bothered to obscure it -- he just put a SINGLE LINE through it and wrote his own name next to it.

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Smoofy
Community Member
2 years ago

If you're gonna cheat at least do it right. I mean, don't cheat in the first place obviously, but if you ARE gonna cheat, do it right.

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#45

I’m not a professor, but a brother in my fraternity won the “most likely to be serving fries at McDonald’s” superlative at the end of the year.

He genuinely thought he earned the award because he liked french fries so much.

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Aunt Messy
Community Member
2 years ago

That was George Bush, wasn't it?

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#46

During an oral exam (basic engineering electronics) a girl could not answer a single question. So I ask her simpler questions. I bring close the oscilloscope and point at the power switch - it was pretty clear it was a switch as it was written in bold letters ON/OFF - and ask her what was it? Answer - fuse

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Allie K.
Community Member
2 years ago

How the hell did she get in that class?! On-off switch is something even toddlers can recognize!

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#47

We were discussing the three most common phases of matter--solids, liquids, and gases. Using water as the example, I asked a student to tell me what we call the solid phase of water. He replied, "Oil!"

I was dumbstruck, but mine was only temporary...

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Allie K.
Community Member
2 years ago

But...but...second grade science!

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#48

While I'm not a professor, I did encounter a student in a biology class once that was a gem. She once asked if rocks were living things. Then a few weeks later, discovered that tuna was a fish...and not just a food...

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

This sounds about right... For elementary school.

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#49

Not a professor, but a student....My first semester of college I took a communications course and on the first day we introduced ourselves and what we potentially wanted to do as a career and how proper communication is important in that field. My classmate shared that he wanted to be like the guys on the show Entourage. Confused and unfamiliar with the show my professor asked him to elaborate. He went onto explain how he and his group of friends essentially wanted to be a paid groupies - partying, traveling and sleeping with woman on someone else’s dime. When asked which one of his friends was going become a famous actor for them to leach off of, he said that they “hadn’t figured that part out yet”. It’s been a decade, I wonder how that career aspiration has turned out for him......

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

He's flipping burgers at the local diner.

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#50

I remember going on a bus trip with some student to a lecture and book signing event in Iowa City. As we were driving down the Interstate, surrounded by cornfields, one of the students yelled, "Who in the HELL eats all this CORN!"

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Ricky Mckinnon
Community Member
2 years ago

What? So?

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#51

Not a professor, but I used to TA for a post-graduate ethics in accounting course. I once received a paper that was literally a cut and paste of a wikipedia article. I figured this out by the fact that they didn't remove the footnote markers so there were a bunch of blue numbers and [citation needed] marks throughout the paper.

He protested the zero he received, loudly, in front of the entire class so I pulled up the wikipedia page on the projector and just started reading his paper.

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WhiteFox
Community Member
2 years ago

XD

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#52

I once had a classmate who thought we didn’t know the world was round until we invented planes.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

I mean...when I was younger I probably could have believed this. Like, 7, maybe?

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#53

I'm currently in a certification program for baking and pastry. Last fall I was taking a cake decorating class and one of our assignments was to visit and bakery, try one or more of their baked goods and write your experience about the visit. It was literally you writing your own Yelp review. That's it. No word count or anything. Just a review. One of the guys in my class plagiarized a review he found online.

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Bob De Long
Community Member
2 years ago

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Isn't English taught any more? "visit (and, an or a) bakery? so sad, so sad!

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#54

This was just a one time thing, because this kid is a pretty sharp student otherwise.

Im a flight instructor and was trying to teach my student how to find your groundspeed while flying. To do this, you take two points (towns usually) that you know the distance between and time how long it takes to fly between them.

"Ok, bob, that took 7 minutes to fly between Bobsonville and Bobsville. The distance is 10 nautical miles, what is our groundspeed?"



"5"

"5 what?"

"5 minutes"

"No, your speed"

"Yeah, 5 minutes"

"So, since it took 7 minutes to fly 10 miles then our speed is such that it took 5 minutes?"

"Yeah"

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

Can you use a calculator?

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#55

Not a professor, but I tutored athletes for $10/hour at a D1 school. Two stories, same guy:

"What does 'colonialism' mean?" I tried to explain a concept spanning thousands of years of human history in a sentence. Double checked with his athletic counselor and yes, English is his first language.

"What does 'delinquency' mean?" It's for his class called "Juvenile Delinquency" We're 2/3 of the way through the semester. He's been taking this class for months now. Attendance is mandatory for athletes so I KNOW he's been to this class.

The sad part is that he was a product of terrible public schools his whole life and was told since puberty when he shot up to ~7ft that as an athlete, school was optional. And damned if he didn't graduate with the same degree as me. We walked next to each other at graduation.

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

Man, I should have put more effort into sports.

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#56

Not a professor but in my statistics class a girl asked if changing the minus to a plus would change the answer.

Not a negative to a positive, like she wasn't questioning how negatives worked. She sincerely wanted to know if changing from subtraction to addition would change the answer. To the professors credit she answered with a kind yes and only a slight pause.

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Pinky Ivy
Community Member
2 years ago

To be fair minus's and plus's are funner to say then negative and positive

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#57

Not a professor but a fellow classmates of mine was in my chemistry course. They would go on rants about "Energies" I was very confused as I tried to deduce what energies they meant (Kinetic, Thermal, etc). Turns out they are believe in some magic spirits despite majoring in sciences.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

Wow. I'm...so sorry for this kid. They probably do well in creative writing, though!

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#58

Not a professor, but during orientation someone mentioned the writing assignment that was due for students in a specific first year program. One guy asked, genuinely, "Hey, do we really have to write that paper or can we have someone write that for us?"

The leader responded, "No...you have to write the paper."

"Ugh, why would I do that? I have the money to just pay some guy. That's what I did in high school, pssh."

He was 100% serious.

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Barbara Baxendale
Community Member
2 years ago

Brat !!

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#59

I was a TA for an ecology course. I was trying to explain complete metamorphosis by talking about butterflies. The student didn't know caterpillars turned into butterflies. I suppose you could go through life without knowing, but this was an upper division course at a prestigious university...

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

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Home schooled. Don't know six times six, but hey, I'm all the way through to Joshua! (YouTube video reference)

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#60

She did not come to a single class the entire semester. She never once contacted me, never once responded to my emails, never turned in a paper or any assignment.

I was having office hours between the final class and when their exams were due, and she comes to me and asks what she needs to do to get at least a B-.

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

Well when finals count for 90% of the grade, maybe an A+ would do it?

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#61

A girl in my earth science class asked "do the oceans go to the center of the earth?" 17 years old.

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All With Heart
Community Member
2 years ago

Well...DO THEY?

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#62

Not a professor, and it didn't happen in college as well. But in my fourth year of highschool (VWO for all the Dutch people here) a girl asked the teacher what nazi's were. Note that we had already discussed the second World War in second year of highschool and this is the Netherlands where the second World War is often discussed in all kind of schools during our remembrance day.

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Sigrid Vinter
Community Member
2 years ago

I'm a dane learning dutch. It always leads to confusion in class when talking about "nation states" as it in dutch really sounds like nazi states". My teacher has to say it in danish too every time in order to avoid confusion!

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#63

I am a non-traditional (read: really a lot older than my cohort) student and the bulk of my classes are online. Nearly every one has discussion board posts or peer review assignments that count towards a hefty percentage of grades. I am appalled at the writing skills of some of these people who are taking upper division classes. Not just typos and misspells...things like, "I ringed the doorbell." Repeatedly. From native English speakers.

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Ruth Beaty
Community Member
2 years ago

I really don't think they teach grammar and sentence construction in school anymore. I can still diagram a basic sentence and haven't been in school for over 50 years.

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#64

I'm not a professor, but the "dumbest"/weirdest thing I ever witnessed in college was a student who had to do a presentation on "Objectivity in Science Reporting", a project she had voluntarily chosen, might I add. She had been provided with reading material by the professor a few weeks in advance. On the day of the presentation, she walked in front of the class, unpacked her things, seemed to be preparing, then sat down in front of us and proceeded to do absolutely nothing. After a few moments of silence, the professor asked what the problem was, and she said, "The texts were in English. I only speak German.", followed by her continuing to just sit there and do nothing.

I'm not sure why she bothered to position herself in front of us, knowing that she didn't have anything to present anyway, nor do I know why she didn't inform the professor of the language barrier, let alone why she had signed up for a course that worked exclusively with English material in the first place. I do know, however, that it took a few more minutes of her just sitting there quietly before the professor told her to go back to her seat.

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago

Most Germans speak English better than most Americans (admittedly not saying a whole hell of a lot). But it sounds like she decided to play the "I'm a poor foreigner. Pity me." card.

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#65

I'm not a professor, but my roommate freshman year of college was pretty dumb. We were at a private liberal arts university, and part of our frosh seminar class was attending one of the "deans' lectures" and writing a paper about it. It was a gimme A. She decided not to attend any of the deans' lectures. They posted the videos of the lectures online, and people who didn't physically attend could watch one and write the paper for 90% credit or so. She elected not to watch anything, just pick a title of one and write about it. The title of the lecture she picked was "The Value of a Liberal Arts Education." She wrote about the value of a liberal education, as in liberal vs conservative and was so pissed when she got an F on the paper and completely couldn't understand why. I don't think she ever did.

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

*facepalm* She probably didn't bother to study because she thought 'liberal' is a dirty word.

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#66

A few semesters ago, I had two students in a statistics course not know how to do division using a calculator -- they didn't know what order to press the buttons in.

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Susan Ramsay
Community Member
2 years ago

Ok here's my correction: "They did not know in which order to press the buttons."

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#67

Talking about Somali Pirates. Student couldn't believe they wielded ak47s and used pontoon boats, thought they were the flagship-and-cannonball types straight from Pirates of the Caribbean

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Savant
Community Member
2 years ago

why... just why

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#68

Not a professor. But back when i took drivers ed, the teacher asked if anyone knew what the raised bumps between lanes were in the roads. A guy raised his hand, was called on, and said in all seriousness, “for blind people so they stay in their lane.”

Everyone turned and stared at him in silence. The teacher had this look on his face like, dafuck? Then everyone started laughing and his buddy next to him whacked him in the arm like, you’re joking...but he just turned to his friend with his hands like 🤷🏻‍♀️ so the teacher set him straight. He never raised his hand in class again.

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Barbara Baxendale
Community Member
2 years ago

So you're telling me you can't drive if you're blind even with a dog in the passenger seat ??

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#69

Not a prof but in my first year in a class with 300+ students we had an assignment called PeerScholar. We had to write about a short maybe 1000 word argument for/against legalizing weed, then you would look at 5 other peoples work and give them feedback, and 5 people would look at your work and give them feedback (you were also graded based on how good your feedback was).

One person's argument was hilarious, I have a screenshot somewhere in the depths of my Gyazo account but one paragraph his argument was talking about how the economy would collapse from weed becoming legal cause everyone would be so high all the time they couldn't work. I'm pretty sure he just wrote some last minute shit essay to get some marks since the final draft has the most marks but it was so hilariously bad.

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

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Pretty much. It does make you stupid.

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#70

Not a professor but a TA. I don't think I ever had genuinely dumb students, it's just that some people adjust more easily when moving from high school to university than others.

In particular, if you were "naturally" smart, you could just coast through high school. Material was presented slowly and frequently enough that missing a class here or there didn't really matter. Not so in university.

For a Physics 101 lab course for pre-med students, this one student regularly came 45 minutes late to a 2-hour lab. So he'd miss the discussion at the beginning of the lab session where I'd discuss the task at hand and common pitfalls to avoid. Then he'd wonder why he wasn't able to finish on time and why he struggled figuring out why his lab experiment didn't turn out the way he expected.

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

"Those pesky clear liquids, they all look alike!" *BOOM*

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#71

A few years ago, I had a student turn in a term paper titled "Mental Disroders." They then went on to misspell 'disorder' two different ways in the first sentence.

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
2 years ago

Just a thought but the student might be dyslexic. Not everyone gets diagnosed and the type of dyslexia can vary. Spell check is not always much help if they can't see what is wrong with the word.

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#72

A student once threatened to sue me over the definition of the terms necessary and sufficient that he had mixed up in an exam. No biggie to mix them up (actually, for a math major it might be), but loudly threatening to sue me over an age old textbook definition in an exam review session was kind of stupid. It did entertain all other students who where present.

Another student once requested letters of recommendation for 5 of the top 10 masters programs in Europe while being the second worst in his class of several hundred graduates.

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

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#73

I'm not a teacher but my dad is a college professor and he often has pretty funny tales. However this last semester of Psychology in sports students have been a whole new level of dumb. He showed them how to use APA, then he did it for them for the different chapters of the book, all they had to do was literally copy and paste the reference he made for the chapter they used. Dummy proof you would think right?

Wrong.

One student copied the wrong chapters

One student copied all of the references.

One student made changes to the references!!!

That one I saw big red question marks beside and he noted 'I did it for you? why would you change it to be wrong???'

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Sounds like your Dad is doing way too much for his students.

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#74

As a student in a class, this girl, who somehow managed to be tertiary, would ask an average of 20 questions per 40 minutes session. Since we knew the statistics final would be a project, my friend and I recorded the number of questions she asked compared to the rest of the class. It came out that on average she asked at least 3x as many questions as the class on average.

The girl was supremely stupid, and didn’t understand why the probability of rolling a 6 on a die was 1/6.

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Savant
Community Member
2 years ago

a question per minute for half the class... or a question per two minutes?!?!?!

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#75

I didn't have any particularly dumb student (also not a Professor, but a graduate teaching assistant), but I did mark one essay that began so eloquently with

"Do we born with intelligent?"

edit: As an addendum, because I still find this story hilarious, the second sentence was "How our cognitive is developed?".

One of my fellow PhD student marked an essay once which came in at 2 pages (it was a 6 page limit), and half of the essay, so one page, discussed Mowgli from the Disney animated version of the Jungle Book (the topic was Developmental Psychology).

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Nostalgic Hyena
Community Member
2 years ago

Well, obviously they were not.

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#76

I heard this story from my professor dad: once, during the week of a final paper, he found an office voicemail from a student claiming it was midnight and he has to drive two hours to a major city in the because his friend needed emergency appendectomy surgery. The student forgot that, in those days, voice mails spoke the recording time, which was 7:30 AM.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Didn't plan that very well. Lol

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#77

Not a professor but we once jokingly asked my classmate when the third world war happened, she told us she didn't knew the exact date.

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago

Soon to be announced on Twitter.

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#78

Took my Intro English requirement as the online class, part of which included a discussion forum. Each student was required to write a post giving their response/understanding of the topic at hand (eg. the Blind Men and the Elephant) three times over the semester. When you went to the site, the most recent entry was highlighted, so imagine my surprise to see my words highlighted for a post I'd put in weeks before - with someone else's name and an added sentence at the end. I checked into it, and for each assignment she'd gone onto the forum and straight up copied another student's answer, added a sentence somewhere, and submitted it as her own.

I reported her to the professor and girl had the nerve to email me (as one of the students she'd plagiarized, she didn't know I'd turned her in) to ask for help defended her because it was *completely* an accident that she'd submitted these answers, she was "just reading other students posts when it happened", and she really needed this credit. Told her if there was such a thing as accidental copy-paste-post, it wouldn't have been edited (3 times), and if it was so accidental that she'd never noticed, then why didn't she ever post her actual assignment answers? Never heard back.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Never heard back? Lol

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#79

I taught calculus in college. There's always several students who are terrible/lazy at the subject, but this term there was one who was really energetic about appearing to put in the effort, in multiple different ways but I'll focus on one.

I told the class I'd give them extra credit for doing any of the "advanced" problems at the end of the chapters. This guy turns in elegant, concise, handwritten solutions for all of them. That'd be hard even for me. He even knew how to do epsilon-delta proofs! That's not something I taught.

One of the problems involved a variable D and an epsilon-delta argument. His proof contained the phrase "Let ε > D", which is utter nonsense not only in context but in terms of an epsilon-delta proof in general. It's supposed to be "Let ε > 0", without exception. He was copying from an instructor's solution manual without knowing the meaning of the symbols.

I suppose this isn't dumb so much as shameless.

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Savant
Community Member
2 years ago

more shameless than dumb

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#80

I'm a film student and we were asked to make up our own ten rules to follow when making a film, much like the Dogma 95 Manifesto, an specifically had us refer to us as a Manifesto. This one student submitted the Communist Manifesto instead.

According to my lecturer, that student didn't do very well and is now a forklift operator.

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago

Isn't that what tripped up the Hollywood 10?

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#81

... that The Hobbit was plagiarism of The Lord of the Rings...

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#SaveLucifer
Community Member
2 years ago

jfc this is the saddest one

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#82

The student that decided to plagiarize his entire 5 page paper. First, the whole class had been working on this paper for the entire semester (the only paper due), we had library days on how cite things and find the information you needed, and they were going to be turning it in through an online paper checker that would give them feedback on plagiarism. They could revise and resubmit the paper as many times as they wanted and this dipshit turned it in with every single thing but his name highlighted in neon colors. He then had the balls to say he didn't do anything wrong and trashed my desk because he failed.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Sounds vindictive. I hope he got in trouble for damaging your property.

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#83

Not my story, but in a test where you could bring solved questions with you, a student brought a question identical to the one the test paper has, instead of just copying the answer and getting an A, he glued the solution which he brought with him with a glue stick, all he had to do is not being lazy.

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Rebeca Lozada
Community Member
2 years ago

Well.... I remember when a guy in my class legit sat throughout the whole period staring at the glue and paper in his hand ... 10 minutes before the class ended he said " HOW DO YOU USE THESE .... GLUE STICKS ?" . He didn't take of the cap.... The struggle is real with this one.

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#84

I had a student when I was a TA who took the first quiz in my class, but I realized he wasn’t on my roster. I told him this, but he insisted he was in my section. Soon, he stopped coming to section altogether, but did insist on handing his exams and papers back to me in lecture. I eventually discovered he was supposed to be in my colleague’s class, but never attended that either. After the final exam (which he handed in to me!), he admitted to me that he had just realized he was in the other class, and had been confused because his roommate was in my class, but “I guess it doesn’t really matter since I didn’t really show up anyway!”

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Savant
Community Member
2 years ago

what

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#85

This was more of a slip-up than this person actually being dumb, but I was in an Ancient Greece history class and the professor was showing us images of pottery in which most of the humans depicted were black (I assume it had to do with the clay they used or something).

My classmate raised his hand and asked, "Are the people on the pottery black because of the clay? Or were all Greeks African-American?"

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Aileen Grist
Community Member
2 years ago

Or perhaps they were just really dark skinned through living in a hot climate.

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#86

I had a student who wrote an evaluation of "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." All the way through--five pages--she referred to it as "The Unbearable Lighthouse of Being."

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 years ago

Good thing she wasn't thinking about the Microsoft search engine.

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#87

In Math class I said there was 36 letters to the alphabet without really thinking. My teacher didn’t seem mad, just disappointed.

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Lyone Fein
Community Member
2 years ago

dude

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#88

Not a professor but I am in graduate school. We are in a hybrid program which means we do part online and we go to class five Saturdays a semester. One guy came to the first class then never came back until the last class. We were having a final that day, which he didn’t know because our midterm was take home. He slept thru the final. Even snored a few times and almost fell out of his chair. I don’t know why he even stayed.

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

Lazy isn't stupid.

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#89

I'm not a professor but I was a TA for a first year Computer Science class. When I was grading some assignments, I saw that the student submitted the file with only the name changed and didn't bother to look over the assignment at all. The assignment was the same as the previous years, but the test variables were changed to different values and this student didn't even bother to do that and just assumed the assignment was the exact same.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

His loss.

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#90

The one who would regularly hand in essays which were obviously copy pasted.

They didn't bother to change the font or colour of paragraphs that were lifted from other websites.

They never argued or shared their opinion but would ask vague questions such as, "but what is the United States?" at the end of a lecture or tutorial that was about a legal decision.

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Savant
Community Member
2 years ago

wut

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#91

Finally a good one to speak to. There was this girl on the basketball team in college...just to set the stage.

The assignment was for creative writing 101 basically. Bring in an apple, write about it, place apple on the table with everyone elses apples, swap papers, find the apple that goes with the vivid discription on the paper.

Dumb b*tch brought in a pear from the tree near the mailroom. Tried hard to convince me it was a crab apple and that they werent edible. IIRC, she even used pear shaped to discribe it. Her writing level was literally 2nd grade at most.

Wasnt even ripe.

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Merlyn Emrys
Community Member
2 years ago

Your writing level isn't exactly such that you can afford to sneer, friend...

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#92

Not a professor, but a student. First day of classes for college in my Human Development class. So, as usual, the teacher used the first day to go over the syllabus. He had it projected onto the screen and gave us all a copy of it to follow along (which is more than what professors usually did). Anyways. he was going over it in quite of bit of detail to make sure we all understood what was expected of this class. Every person in that classroom understood what he was saying and how the syllabus worked... except for this one lady. She was middle aged, maybe a little older and, for whatever reason, she had a question about everything about the syllabus, asking a question after every point the teacher made. She would even ask a question after the teacher just went over what she was asking. He would comply to answer her questions, but even he was getting annoyed or would say that if she had a question to ask at the end of class. Everyone in the classroom was so annoyed by her that one of the students spoke up and said that she was wasting everyone else's time in class for asking questions that the professor literally had answered before she asked or its in the syllabus and she needs to read it before asking. The lady looked so surprised and offended and then looked at the teacher, as if expecting him to say something. He just shrugged and said "He's right" and went back to the syllabus. She shut up after that and we never saw her after that first day. Now, I don't like to make assumptions that people are dumb cause they just might be confused about something or have something going on. At the same time though, how stupid can you be to just keep asking questions that are clearly being explained to you, and then get offended when someone calls you out on it?

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Nikki D
Community Member
2 years ago

That's actually really sad. She probably wasn't used to a classroom environment OR being disrespected by her juniors. She was probably acting offended to cover up her humiliation.

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#93

When I was seventeen, we had a whole year of lectures about politics. What's socialism, communism, liberalism, that kind of stuff. In the final lecture before the exam, the teacher asked if we had any more questions and he wished us the best of luck. On that moment, a true gem in my class (and also seventeen...) asked; "Mister, what does democraaaty mean"? (she even pronounced the word badly) I was stunned. All of her family members are doctors. Thank god the girl was pretty at least.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Pretty won't earn you a Doctorate.

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#94

(Not a teacher, but 1 of my friends) On a geography test with one of those blinded maps: Test: 'What is the capitol of Australia?' Him: 'Paris'

He got a 0, even though the minimum was a 1.

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Sigrid Vinter
Community Member
2 years ago

I didn't know that there was an australian version of Capitol (hill). And I'm a geographer!

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#95

I was giving a final and I noticed a student hiding paper under his exam. (I could see the corners sticking out from where his exam was folded from the staple). I asked him what it was just to make sure it wasn't a cheat sheet. He said it was scratch paper and I said "ok make sure it gets turned in with your exam". And he looked a little deflated. So when he turned in the exam I noticed his scratch paper had only the problems (including problem numbers and instructions) written down. He was going to transcribe the test, take it to the bathroom for his girl friend to take, and then copy it back to the exam.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

2 cheaters. They sound well matched.

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#96

*I'm not a professor* During a biology unit, this girl in my science class asked me WHETHER WATER WAS A LIVING THING OR NOT. Her expression was completely genuine, and she really didn't know whether water was alive (we were 12 years old at the time- man, the good old days-, perfectly capable of knowing these things). She had no mental disorders of any kind.

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BusLady
Community Member
2 years ago

Well, water can contain living organisms.

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#97

When I was a TA for an intro to logic course, one of my students could not grasp simple inferences like modus ponens or modus tollens in propositional logic.

Modus Ponens:

If it's raining, then the ground is wet. It's raining. Therefore, the ground is wet.

Modus Tollens:

If it's raining, then the ground is wet. The ground is not wet. Therefore, it is not raining.

Simple, basic inferences. Yet, after 3 hours of working on it with them one on one, would still tell me it's valid to conclude that since the ground is wet, it must be raining, or since it's not raining, the ground can't be wet.

This was just before the final exam which was over predicate logic which entailed proofs involving relations and identity.

To correlate to ordinary math: they were struggling with basic addition and subtraction when the exam was over algebra and trig.

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

I have a cat. Lions are cats. Therefore my cat is a lion! See, it works!

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#98

Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same boring, old magazine everyday. The end." Although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be I could not bring myself to put As atop those beauties.

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Hanni
Community Member
2 years ago

This is from the movie "Evolution".

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#99

I'm a TA for Intro to Psychology- I teach my own section(s) each semester. The class has 5 mandatory tests and an optional final that can replace the lowest test grade for the semester. However, students only could take the final if they had 2 or less absences throughout the semester. I had a student who forgot to take the last test (they have to take the test at our computer lab outside of class time). Week 15 of the semester, with 4 tests already under her belt. Just forgot. Didn't even try to give me an excuse. She had too many absences to take the final so she just had a big old 0 for one of her tests. Somehow managed to scrape by with a D, though.

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Paula Marshall
Community Member
2 years ago

Forgetfulness isn't stupidity.

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