399Kviews
30 Of The Most Entertaining ‘It Doesn’t Work Like That’ Stories, Told By Professionals In This Online Community
Each era has its own folklore and its own myths. In the old days, these were mighty heroes and terrible monsters, then noble knights and beautiful princesses, cowboys shooting without a single miss, and bulletproof superheroes. The contemporary world also has its own myths, and moreover, we face them literally every day.
Ask any software engineer you know how many times in their lives they have been asked to fix a desktop - simply because they are "programmers". Or how many times an accountant - even if they have never dealt with a tax report in their entire professional career - receives requests from acquaintances to sort out their taxes?
Myths, myths and more myths surround literally every profession, and we create these myths ourselves. Just from watching a couple of James Bond films, we are sure that spies spend their lives doing nothing but driving around in luxury cars wearing insanely expensive suits. Just from watching a couple of children's films, we will strongly believe that the workers at the animal shelter have the most wonderful job in the world, as they pet doggos and kitties all day long.
The list is literally endless, and a popular thread starter in the AskReddit community recently helped us by asking people the question: "What's your profession's myth that you regularly need to explain 'It doesn't work like that' to people?" In just a few days, the thread has racked up 2.5K upvotes and over 3.8K comments, bringing together an incredible collection of today's mythology.
To make it easier for you to figure out all this abundance, Bored Panda has made a list of the most popular comments of the original thread. So now feel free to read stories on debunking modern myths, scroll to the very end, and if you have your own professional experience that can also dispel some myth literally in the wind, please be sure to tell us about it in the comments.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
Your terminally ill grandmother isn't "becoming addicted" to her pain medication. She's dying in as much comfort and with as much dignity as we can provide.
Pet euthanasia. There is a wildly popular post that goes around about how pets dropped off for euthanasia “look around for their owners” and know they’ve been “abandoned”. It’s nonsense, and I will defend clients dropping off until I myself die.
I’ve seen what happens when owners can’t say goodbye so they don’t. The animal suffers for days to weeks until their bodies finally give out. I have literally seen a dog rotting from the inside out, SOMEHOW still alive, but the owner couldn’t commit to euthanasia so she didn’t and that dog suffered tremendously for it.
Everyone has boundaries to what they can handle. Requiring an otherwise loving, doting, and responsible owner to be present when it was all they could do to make the appointment doesn’t help pets the way you think it does.
Furthermore, in the nine years I’ve worked in this industry, I have *never* experienced what is described in that post. Ever. And my colleagues overwhelmingly agree. We love on them and hug them, and tell them they’re a good boy until they pass. **By the logic in that post, you should also never drop off for sedated or anesthetic procedures either because the process begins the same way (with sedation). How is that pet to know that death is imminent? They don’t.**
You’re projecting your emotions onto people who are already suffering, and you’re not helping pets by shaming owners, and my local, professional cohort overwhelmingly agrees.
Every time I take one of my dogs to the vets they hate it, the Vet always asks me or my partner to stay whilst they do whatever it is they are doing in order to calm the dog down and help her/him relax. There is no way on Gods sweet Earth would I leave my dogs alone whilst being euthanised, no matter how much it would kill me inside I will be there at the end giving them my love and comfort ..
Weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out. There is nothing easy about getting your stomach resized to hold a cup or less of food, it f***s up your metabolism, eating the wrong things can cause serious pain, and guess what you're on for the rest of your life? A restrictive diet. Because your stomach's tiny but you still need all the nutrients.
Weight loss medications are not the easy way out either. They don't work unless the patient does, and even then, sometimes it takes months to find the right combo of meds. And there's still nutrition and exercise requirements.
Basically, being obese is really hard, and getting to a point where one is no longer obese is also really hard, so when you see someone obese, assume that they're doing their best and could use some kindness.
Yeah, there is no ‘easy way out’ of being obese and for some of us it’s not possible at all (disabled, messed up metabolism due to ED and medications…). So don’t look at us and think ‘lazy’
No Ma'am, we aren't going to 'shock' (defibrillate) your family member because their heart isn't actually beating.
Defibrillators do not restart a heart, they reset a malfunctioning cardiac rhythm. If the heart isn't at least doing something then our options are CPR and meds until we get some kind of rhythm.
Sincerely,
Tired Medic
Yup, the hearty-starty machine is actually a hearty-stoppy machine. A heart needs to have a shockable rhythm, that is it needs to be fibrillating (like quivering) in order to be de-fibrillated. To de-fibrillate means to stop its rhythm which usually, and certainly hopefully, prompts the heart to restart itself in a sinus rhythm.
Antibiotics don't work on viral diseases.
What? You mean you need to let a virus run its course and treat the symptoms or take an anti-viral!?
Child welfare investigator here
My job isn’t “hard” for the reasons most people think: constantly being exposed to and interviewing abused children
It’s hard because 90% of the time, it’s just disgruntled exes calling on each other over nothing..and dealing with grown adults’ drama is exhausting af.
Yep!! My friend's ex husband called CPS on her and put her life into a tailspin. She did absolutely nothing wrong. The incident in question? Their daughter was angry her phone was taken away as punishment so she told her dad her mom threw the phone at her face. My daughter was there when it happened and said that it was an absolute lie. She felt really bad for not backing up her friend, but I told her the truth was more important. It cost my friend thousands of dollars to fight him in court.
Just because I’m a psychologist doesn’t mean I’m immune to psychological disorders or distress.
I'm a retired used bookstore owner. People were always saying "Oh, I would love to own a bookstore. You can read all day.". Um, no. It's actually a lot of hard, physical work, (boxes of books are heavy), lots of bending and reaching. And then you get to clean the store and do the paperwork. Owning any retail store is not an easy job!
Sorry, but anyone who thought owning a book store would mean „reading all day“ is an idiot
Retail. If an employee tells you they're sold out of that hot sale item. They're sold out. They're not hoarding them in the backroom, because f**k you. They know they're sold out, because you're the 10th person to ask about it, in the last 20 minutes.
Former pastry chef, and still work in a hotel. No I do not make amazing food at home. I barely survive on a diet of cereal, sandwiches and chocolate bars. Pot noodles if I’m feeling fancy.
Also most people in the industry are either junkies or alcoholics to cope with the brutal schedule. My extended family still can’t fathom me working the amount out of hours a week I work.
Also we do not enjoy weddings, they are fun to attend, but nothing but a headache to run.
The restaurant industry sounds a lot like the film industry, lol. People are in utter disbelief when I tell them that I work 18 hour days a lot, and that a 10 hour day is a "short" day in my industry.
When I was building decks I remember a lot of people asked for shorter railings because it'd look nicer. I totally agree, but if 42" is the minimum in this state we're gonna do 42"
Although I'm a skilled teacher the students need to do the learning. I can't do it for them.
I'm a language teacher, teaching English to kids and teenagers. As a native speaker it's astounding how much English grammar that I wasn't actually taught in school and I now have to learn myself as it was considered common knowledge in my native UK.
No doctor does all aspects of medicine and surgery.. it’s specialized and sub specialized. Obviously in more rural areas people do more, but for the most part, complex things get sent to very specialized folks and a doctor like House would never exist (and anyone who acted like him would be fired in about a week)
Being a car machenic that specializes in a couple of cars. We dont know everything about how to fix the car out of our heads. we use youtube a lot to figure out stuf we dont know.
I'm working on a Cyber Security boot camp currently. The instructors told us to not bother memorizing certain things because we can always pull them up online.
Load More Replies...
It definitely isn't like it was decades ago. Replacing a water pump in 1975 involved a 9/16" wrench and little else. Replacing a water pump today requires a very detailed and accurate procedure. The video really becomes important for what technique you need to not break ALL the plastic clips.
Absolutely true! I don't even have an engine in my car, just motors.
Load More Replies...
That's every skilled profession nowadays. I've had several doctors step out of the room so they can Google something. Finally I told one just do it in here I know what you're doing that way we can read it together. Lol!
People think lawyers know all the laws. No, just where to find them and how to decipher them.
There are WAY better resources than YouTube for auto techs. Don't believe everything on there. As a tech I have seen many YouTube videos leave out info or steps. This is not how most of us fix cars.
Found this out years ago when the timing belt in my Volvo exploded on the highway. I was told by local mechanics that if your timing belt explods, it'll bend the pistons in your engine. Except, the timing belt is nowhere NEAR the pistons in old Volvos and only after I paid to have it towed back to my hometown did my Volvo mechanic show me how wrong the other guys were. Cheap repair, but not a cheap learning experience...
C'mon! All 3 brothers are crack mechanics (& I'm no slouch myself) Y'all should be paid a lot more because cars are no joke today because of the blend of mechanics & electronics. Also there's that 6th sense, or instinct or feel or whatever that y'all have developed with experience. It's takes a little more than just youTubing it to do what you do.
My dad knows every car before like...2010. sometimes he needs a refresher, but yeah, YouTube has been a godsend for him
There's a lot to be said for older cars . . . . . cars that were built before the use of semiconductors become prevalent. Now it is virtually impossible for the average person - with little knowledge - could carry out routine maintenance and repairs. It's a bit sad really . . . . . except for the corporations as buyers have to keep coming back and having to keep paying the exorbitant prices for parts and labour by their (google/youtube) "trained" "engineers". I bear no grudge against the mechanics, mind you, they are just trying to make a living in an increasingly difficult environment. And just wait until electric cars become the norm!
And YouTube is invaluable for such learning! I once fixed the sunroof on my SUV, the largest sunroof in the industry, and saved myself something like $2,500! And that's just one example!
Same in biology. I don't remember every single detail about everything. The sheer amount of data and knowledge available these days is astounding hence why people specialise in very specific branches
My favorite was people asking me the mechanic who doesn't look at the prices of stuff because I just install the stuff "so how much is this going to cost" Now I don't mean like getting a estimate, the service writer does that. What I mean is, people somehow think off the top my head, I've a full parts and time catalog to rattle off estimates off the top of my head without them going to the service writer to get a actual estimate. And when I tell them I've no idea, they'll have to ask (usually my boss who was the service writer because small shop), they just press harder. Like you do realize that a alternator for one car can be wildly different in price then for the next car. I finally just told people "it's somewhere between $100 and $5000"
I'm a teacher. Google is indeed your friend, not for knowledge per se, but for creative ideas and how to deal with a certain disorder.
Now except for the ones who actually manage to fix their stuff, the worst is getting a car that someone else started and then realized after taking it apart that they were in over their heads.
Load More Replies...
Is that why they forgot to put coolant in my moms car on a hot summer day in DALLAS TEXAS?! I’m not mad just a tad upset, besides this happened YEARS ago.
No, it's likely because of two things at once. 1. A larger job it's easy to forget something 2. Many shops pay flat rate, so you get paid by the job and not the hour. This means that you're not paid to double check things, that actually costs you money, and you're in a rush to hurry up and get the next car in and to cut every corner possible. When I did anything coolant related, I'd take your car on a 5+ mile test drive to make sure nothing overheated, then I'd let it cool off and recheck the fluid level. I've noticed that a lot of mechanics especially flat rate ones, don't bother with test drives on anything. I test drove everything that wasn't a oil change (even tire rotations I'd test drive to make sure you didn't have a vibration show up) Anyway I always suggest to people when shopping for a new mechanic, your first question needs to be, do you pay flat rate or hourly. If it's flat rate, go somewhere else. The hourly mechanic will be more likely to make sure it's done right
Load More Replies...
Grew up in an auto shop. A properly trained technician doesn't need anything other than a true understanding of the fundamentals and years of experience, combined with diagrams and an OEM procedural instruction to do a job that they are unfamiliar with. Anyone that needs constant tutorial videos isn't a technician, they are just a mechanic that changes parts. There is a qualitative difference between the two, and if you know what to look for, the difference is obvious.
It is not uncommon to encounter something new for the first time that will be like the only time you'll ever do that particular thing. And I've found that often times, Google or YouTube are better then the service material for diagnosing problems The service material often leaves out critical steps and tricks to things. Like as a example they'll tell you, remove bolts on alternator, remove alternator. But they won't tell you if it's easier to remove the AC compressor below the alternator or the power steering pump and AC lines above, or if there's a special trick to clocking the alternator in a special way to remove it.
Load More Replies... 
"I have this great idea for a book. You write it, and we'll split the profits."
Nope.
I've published several bestselling novels. I'm neither rich nor famous.
That vet techs get to play with puppies and kittens all day. It’s a physically and mentally exhausting job.
Wearing glasses doesn't make your eyes worse. There are so many misconceptions and so much false reasoning that goes into that one belief that I don't even know where to start. But I'll try anyway I guess.
1) "I noticed my eyes got blurry only after wearing glasses!" That is because your eyes have adjusted to seeing things with more clarity. So of course you're now going to notice when you're missing that clarity whether it be because you took off your glasses or your prescription has changed.
2) "Wearing glasses cause eye strain!" No it doesn't. Your usual eye strain is from working long hours or staring at screens. But you're only noticing it now because the adjustment period when getting glasses for the first time or when getting a new prescription does increase eye strain until you adjust.
3) "I used to never need glasses but now I need new ones every two years! My eyes are getting worse because of glasses!" Refer back to 1. But also you didn't need glasses previously because your eyesight wasn't s**tty enough for you to notice yet or be really othered by it yet. That doesn't mean you didn't actually need them. Your eyesight was probably changing every year even while you didn't notice. Now that you are used to seeing with clarity, you'll notice when things aren't clear and crisp anymore.
I have dealt with many adults who insist they don't need glasses, either distance or reading or both, because they just don't want to concede that their vision isn't great anymore. These are adults with nearsightedness, astigmatism, and sometimes who even need reading correction. And they can't see s**t. Like why are you so stubborn.
I work in childcare and no, I don’t just get to play all day and have fun. I have to deal with behavioral issues, developmental delays, diapers, injuries, curriculum, art projects, huge messes during mealtime, working with one other person to put 12+ toddlers down for nap, etc. Of course it’s fun at times but dealing with all of that is so stressful.
The "defense attorney" aspect of law
It's not your job to lie, deceive, and cheat to get your client acquitted. You give them the best legal defense so that they receive the due process that everyone has a right to.
*"The job of the defense is to make sure the prosecution does theirs."*
If your client is guilty, then the prosecution should be able to prove it fair and square. If they can't then the quality of evidence does not meet the minimum standard and your client should go free. Full stop.
Does that mean the occasional guilty person gets away with it? Yeah. But far worse is a system where innocent people are more likely to go to jail because a s**tty prosecutor's weak arguments were accepted.
A good defense attorney would recognize a losing case and just try to get the best deal for their client, and getting the weaker charges dropped (in case the prosecutor just decides to "throw the book" at them)
Computer animation doesn’t mean the computer does the animation…I do.
There are no skeleton keys. There is no "one key that fits all locks". There are master keys that have been painstakingly installed into a buildings locks, some of which might fit all the locks depending on that particular keys chosen mastering levels, but no. There is no skeleton key. I, a locksmith, use special tools to open locks. I have a big bag of them. Tools like picks, jiggle keys, bump keys 2in1 Lishi keys, and many more. Yes, I got into your house fast. That's because I know how your lock works and know how to defeat it. No I did not turn up with a working key (disclaimer: sometimes I do as I have codes recorded for places I've worked on and I can get codes from car dealers so I can make a key before I turn up.)
The phrase "skeleton key" comes from the time when locks were all very basic and had "wards" that would physically stop the wrong key from turning. A "skeleton key" was therefore the "bare bones" necessary to slide the lock pin, while missing all variations of wards *for that particular size lock" so even then it was never meant to fit *all* locks.
Something being 'off the record'.
If you're speaking to a journalist, you can't just say 'off the record' and then spill your guts. You need to have agreed with the journalist beforehand that you will not be quoted.
University prof. I do not get summers off.
Teaching in front of classes is only about 30% of my job. The rest is one-on-one supervision of graduate students. Doing research, writing grant applications, writing research papers. Summer is the time of year when I finally have the time to do all that other stuff.
Worked in wildland fire and got "what do you guys do in winter, theres no fires. Must be nice sitting around all day". In the fire season I had a seasonal staff of 70+ and in the off season there were three of us. Lots of wrapping up the last season and getting ready for the next (reports, equipment restocking, invoice processing, hiring, giving/taking training, contract prep, etc). Although some would take a week or two off in summer, especially if they had kids and were able to, we also took our annual leave during the winter. I rarely had a "summer".
Tax professional.
Most clients think that the best tax Pros necessarily get them bigger refunds. If you get a smaller refund in a particular year it may be because tax laws change, because you didn't pay in as much, or because you didn't have as many deductions. Explaining stuff to people doesn't work if their eyes are all glazed over because tax law discussions bore them
Going to another tax Pro to get a bigger refund, thinking that that tax Pro is "better" may just get you an audit
But the worst myth about taxes manifest itself when scammers call people on the phone climbing to be IRS agents. They tell folks that they owe money and that authorities are coming to their house to put them in jail if they don't pay up. The truth is that the real IRS does not call anyone on the phone unless they have contacted IRS first and are expecting them to return the call. IRS does not accuse you of text fraud. Even if they truly believe you have committed tax fraud they will simply send you a letter stating that they think you have underpaid your taxes. They will give you a chance to prove your case. If you don't do this or pay them what they say you owe, they will simply Levy your paycheck or your personal property. They do not show up at your house to put you in jail. So please if a scammer calls you do not give them your credit card information or give them payments in any form. Call the real IRS and report them.
That converting to salt water pools does not ‘get rid of the chlorine’. Salt is sodium chloride, salt gets converted to chlorine in a salt water pool, and you use the exact same test kits to monitor the chlorine levels in the pool water.
But at a MUCH lower rate, and yes the water is salted, small electrode blades convert a small amount of salt into chlorine.
Just because your old technical device (laptop, tablet, phone) is in good condition, doesn't actually mean that it's any "good" today.
Especially if it's made by Apple, and can no longer install software updates.
I work in a hardware store and apparently people think we have a huge underground storage big enough to hide every product in existence. No, i can't just go and fetch a part for your 20 year old fireplace or power tool from the backroom.
I work in a bakery.
Baking stuff for 5000 people every day will take all night to do so when we run out of something during the day. We can't just slap something together in five minutes.
Come back tomorrow and we can get it for you.
If something isn't stocked on the shelf and I tell you it isn't in the back then it isn't in the back and I can't magically make it appear out of thin air... that being said if you are a d**k I also might just tell you it ain't in the back
Shoe stores are the exception - very few can have all sizes and all styles out front. Asking them to check / get your size from the back is valid.
Factory worker here.. Once a machine is set up, it can run all day, perfectly, without adjustment. Nope. Steel can vary in hardness, even within a continuous coil of wire. Humidity, ambient temperature, tooling wear can also spoil parts.
Machinist here. Everyone thinks I just push the green button and magic happens. Sorry, I have to do hours of programming, cutter specific geometry, and lits of a*****e puckering to make your part.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
As a pharmacy technician, we do not set the prices of your medications, it’s your insurance company. They don’t tell us why your medication costs more than it did last month, nor do we know what your deductible is. You can use coupons like GoodRx which MIGHT make your medications cheaper, but it can’t be used with your insurance. Any questions about why your medications are so expensive can only be answered by your insurance company. Please call them and not yell at us. We just fill your medications
Animal rescue "oh it must be so great working with animals all day I love seeing the baby puppy pictures" no actually most of my job is either cleaning poop or heartbreaking. Most animals in rescue are sick and in terrible condition when they come in. They have trust issues they will bite. Dealing with half a litter dying or even the whole litter because their mom was practically dead when she came in because even though she'd been "hanging around a few weeks" you couldn't be bothered to call till now. Dealing with the people is just as bad. Older folks that just had to many to take care of but genuinely loved their dogs as much as you do,a*shats that breed pitt bulls even though shelters are over with them already because spaying they dog is "just wrong",the couple that are having a baby so no longer need a dog , ect. The animals that have purposely been beaten,shot,burned,cut ect. makes you loose all hope in humans.
But is is also the small things that keeps you trying. A 6oz preemie baby finally leveling out and eating normal, the fur growing back on mange puppies giving them a mohawk look for a couple of weeks,a dog finally wagging their tail at you instead of being scared of people, a tri-paw finally recovered enough after being hit by a car to play with others, finding the perfect forever home and getting updates with happy pictures. Also only working in rescue teaches you that you can actually be happy and animal is pooping everyday. 😂😂
Load More Replies...
As an Artist, it doesn't mean since I'm doing what I love that it's not work. Everyday I am thinking of ideas, sketching, preparing, then gets into painting which can take days or months. I have to get things scanned in, take photographs and manage bookkeeping. What are my expenses, how much is the cost of supplies and running a website. Then I have to have social media accounts so people know this is what I'm doing all day. Not to mention reaching out to potential clients and doing art submissions. So no I am not going to make you a painting for free, or submit my art to a show/gallery where I am not paid for my time. No I am not going to join your art group with a membership fee or apply for a grant that won't guarantee me a steady income. Work is work no matter if you are in a field you enjoy. And if I'm not making money through my artwork then it would just be a hobby. Which it's not, so yeah just pay artists people.
As someone who works in an obscure branch of IT, no I have no idea about your consumer device and I don't give two hoots, in fact I loath consumer tech stuff so much I minimize my exposure to it, so I have a simple smartphone with the bare minimum of apps, a TV with an on/off/select channel buttons, and none of this household automation nonsense. The last thing I want to be doing in my spare time is troubleshooting tech stuff because it feels like work.
As a pharmacy technician, we do not set the prices of your medications, it’s your insurance company. They don’t tell us why your medication costs more than it did last month, nor do we know what your deductible is. You can use coupons like GoodRx which MIGHT make your medications cheaper, but it can’t be used with your insurance. Any questions about why your medications are so expensive can only be answered by your insurance company. Please call them and not yell at us. We just fill your medications
Animal rescue "oh it must be so great working with animals all day I love seeing the baby puppy pictures" no actually most of my job is either cleaning poop or heartbreaking. Most animals in rescue are sick and in terrible condition when they come in. They have trust issues they will bite. Dealing with half a litter dying or even the whole litter because their mom was practically dead when she came in because even though she'd been "hanging around a few weeks" you couldn't be bothered to call till now. Dealing with the people is just as bad. Older folks that just had to many to take care of but genuinely loved their dogs as much as you do,a*shats that breed pitt bulls even though shelters are over with them already because spaying they dog is "just wrong",the couple that are having a baby so no longer need a dog , ect. The animals that have purposely been beaten,shot,burned,cut ect. makes you loose all hope in humans.
But is is also the small things that keeps you trying. A 6oz preemie baby finally leveling out and eating normal, the fur growing back on mange puppies giving them a mohawk look for a couple of weeks,a dog finally wagging their tail at you instead of being scared of people, a tri-paw finally recovered enough after being hit by a car to play with others, finding the perfect forever home and getting updates with happy pictures. Also only working in rescue teaches you that you can actually be happy and animal is pooping everyday. 😂😂
Load More Replies... As an Artist, it doesn't mean since I'm doing what I love that it's not work. Everyday I am thinking of ideas, sketching, preparing, then gets into painting which can take days or months. I have to get things scanned in, take photographs and manage bookkeeping. What are my expenses, how much is the cost of supplies and running a website. Then I have to have social media accounts so people know this is what I'm doing all day. Not to mention reaching out to potential clients and doing art submissions. So no I am not going to make you a painting for free, or submit my art to a show/gallery where I am not paid for my time. No I am not going to join your art group with a membership fee or apply for a grant that won't guarantee me a steady income. Work is work no matter if you are in a field you enjoy. And if I'm not making money through my artwork then it would just be a hobby. Which it's not, so yeah just pay artists people.
As someone who works in an obscure branch of IT, no I have no idea about your consumer device and I don't give two hoots, in fact I loath consumer tech stuff so much I minimize my exposure to it, so I have a simple smartphone with the bare minimum of apps, a TV with an on/off/select channel buttons, and none of this household automation nonsense. The last thing I want to be doing in my spare time is troubleshooting tech stuff because it feels like work.
