Author Of The “Princess Academy” Illustrates How Adults Instill Misogyny In Little Boys And How It Robs Them Of Amazing Experiences
Shannon Hale is a best-selling author of over thirty books. Her bibliography includes graphic novel memoirs Real Friends, Best Friends, and Friends Forever, and multiple award winners The Goose Girl, Book of a Thousand Days, and Newbery Honor recipient Princess Academy.
During the many, many presentations she has given on her works throughout the years, Hale not only met her readers but also got an understanding of how they view her books and what shapes these opinions in the first place.
More info: shannonhale.com | tumblr | Twitter
Best-selling and award-winning author Shannon Hale has written plenty of wonderful books about girls
Image credits: shannonhale
“[I] found I did in fact have many boy readers — most likely hundreds of thousands of them at this point, but they’d been reading in secret because they were embarrassed,” the author wrote in The Washington Post. “I got better at noticing the myriad ways adults teach boys that they should feel ashamed for taking an interest in a story about a girl, from outright (‘Put that down, that’s a girl book’) to subtle (‘I think you’ll like this book even though it’s about a girl’). There is peer shaming as well, but it starts with and is supported by adults.”
Hale has written numerous texts on this phenomenon but this time let’s take a closer look at one of her tumblr posts that explains it through a real-life example.
But she realized that boys are reading them in secret as they are ashamed
Image credits: amazon
Image credits: carousell
In the before-quoted essay from The Washington Post, Hale said that identifying and addressing this problem is important because this kind of thinking not only prevents boys from learning empathy for girls, it also prescribes narrow gender definitions: there is only one kind of boy, and any boy who doesn’t fit that mold is wrong.
“Stories make us human. We form bonds by swapping personal stories with others, and reading fiction is a deeply immersive exercise in empathy … The bias against boys reading about girls runs so deep, it can feel daunting to try to change it. But change can start with a simple preposition swap: When talking to young readers, we can communicate that a book is about girls without prescribing that it’s for girls,” the author said.
Hale never thought that Disney’s Snow White was a real person. Nor was Disney’s Sleeping Beauty. According to the author, they’re just an idea of a certain kind of femininity. But they don’t feel to her like any girl or woman she knows. So whenever Hale is writing characters, her goal is always to make them feel like real people. And if they do, everyone can relate to them.
People think Hale’s insights are spot-on
I constantly feel that my childhood in the 80ies and 90ies was significantly LESS gendered than the childhood of kids now. We had toys and clothing for just CHILDREN available in addition to gendered stuff, nowadays it's hard even to find a memory game or a colouring book that doesn't come in a pink and a blue version with different prints and images on it. COLOURING BOOKS, for God's sake.
I think it was less gendered in the 1970s and 1980s. I can say that b/c the doctor play kit was a black bag, no matter who got it. Other than Erector sets, it seemed to be fairly well "whoever plays with it plays with it" ---- balls, bats, bikes, whatevers. Now, I can't walk int oa store without it being "GIRLS!" vs "BOYS!" and I'm thinking, "Um.... girls and boys can like same things!"
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For the fourth birthday of my daughter, we threw a party. As we expected not everyone would like unicorns, we themed it "unicorns and dinosaurs" and ordered paper masks. Fast forward: prancing boys and roaring girls. And roaring boys and prancing girls. All united as happy children.
Reminds me of my supervisor telling me about her experience at an interview for a professorship when she was starting out. One of the interviewers said something along the lines of "I notice you research mainly female writers, what are the boys in your lectures going to do?" to which she (with more presence of mind than I will ever have) replied "the same things women in lectures have been doing until now with all make authors". This must have been in the 2000s.
I wish people would stop using the term Tomboy. If a girl does it, it's girly. What she does shouldn't have to be compared to being like a boy just because it doesn't fit in with the expectation. That's exactly what the author is talking about. That's why the term Girly has gotten negative connotations.
This was so so confusing to me growing up, because I was extremely feminine but also have / had stereotypical boy interests and tastes sometimes.
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I grew up as a tomboy - climbing trees and playing with car models and makeshift swords. I am happy I had this opportunity to choose what I like and openly enjoy it without being frowned upon. So I find it very unfair that boys may be denied this freedom. First of all, by their own loving but clueless parents.
"I'd like Lego's for christmas!", "No, those are for boys, not girls". "I'd like to do a martial art", "No, you're going to majorette's because you need to be a pretty, graceful ballerina girl". "I'd like to be a builder, maybe do engineering", "No, that's a man's job. You can only become a doctor, a lawyer, or a veterinarian, because that's the best high paid job a girl can get". It takes decades to deprogram this crap out of your head after parents bludgeon it into you.
Grandparents, too. Uncles, aunts, and idiots at the library who say, "But that's a book little boys like." Yes, and I like dogs, so can I please just have my book? ....And yet it was *less* gendered in the 70s-80s than now. Yikes.
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Yes, yes yes. I'm a mom raising two boys and a girl. I see the effect this has on my boys. My oldest will enjoy "girl" books in secret, but desperately doesn't want other kids at school to know because he will be made fun of. My younger son emphatically rejects anything with the slightest hint of "girly-ness" . Most of the dirrect pressure comes from other kids at school (boys and girls), but they've also gotten subtle messages from other adults. My husband and I have been adamant from day one that there is no such thing as boy or girl toys, books, shows ect, but we can't negate all the messages from the rest if society.
Don't shove people into "boxes" based on expectations. Boxes limit growth. Let people be. Let children grow.
I don't know how to articulate this without causing a commotion, so don't take this the wrong way... but the book DOES look and sound "girly" and if the boys like it, it isn't "girly" after all. I can appreciate the kid's aversion to "girly" things. And when I say "girly" I don't mean "things for girls". Just like "toxic masculinity" doesn't mean ALL masculine behavior. "girly" doesn't mean ALL things for girls. It is the stuff that reinforces unhealthy feminine stereotypes, just like toxic masculinity reinforces unhealthy masculine stereotypes. Unfortunately there is a LOT of toxic "girly" crap out there, and marketers push if hard. Look at Disney. You have strong female characters in the more modern movies like Merida from Brave, who doesn't want to be a traditional princess, and fights against being married & having to wear a dress... but in the Disney STORE, the only dolls they sell of her are in the obscenely pink section of the store, and the doll is in the damn dress.
Agreed,, believe it or not, and it's insane. Even frigging Barbie dolls aren't as stupid as Disney princess stuff.
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When I was a little kid, I read my older sister's Nancy Drew books. All of 'em.
Are we only allowed to relate to stories about people who look like us and with the same bathsuit area parts? Can a straight person be inspired by a gay person or vice verse? ::thumbs down::
No if you're the default setting (in the west that's any one of male, white, straight, abled) you're only supposed to like stories about the default setting. If you're NOT than you're supposed to be absolutely fine with stories about the default setting but also the characters who look/act/think like you. No one complains about a girl reading a book with a male protagonist, or worries about a black kid watching a tv show with a white protagonist, or thinks its odd that a kid in a wheelchair likes a movie with a physically fit hero. But write a female protagonist and it's for girls, make your hero aboriginal or deaf or gay and your target market must clearly be people of colour or people with disabilities or the LGBTQA community. And that's assuming you can get it through the gauntlet of editors asking but why does the hero need to be blind/Indian/a lesbian. Because you can be male, white, cis, het, abled without any justification but if you're not then there needs to be a reason.
Load More Replies...
I got over my fear of being ridiculed for reading stuff aimed at girls/women in college thanks to a few amazing reviewers/critics of a kids show named "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." At first I was worried. To say I was bullied throughout school is an understatement. But then I got to the point where my mind finally said: "Why should I even give a crap what people think of what I read? So long as it's not illegal, I don't need to worry about what they say." Now every time I hear adults tell kids, "Oh no, that toy is for girls." or "no that toy is for boys," I internally grimace because it was attitude like that that landed me in that pit for years on end. For clarification, the reviewers in question are Silver Quill, The Fiery Joker, and Antony C. Check em out if you want a good laugh.
Shannon Hale wrote the fourth Spirit Animals book! I LOVE THAT SERIES, AND THAT IS MY FAV BOOK OUT OF ALL OF THEM!
I used to serve on a committee tasked with choosing a book each year for our whole university to read. Every time someone on the committee suggested a book written by or about a minority or woman, others would say, "But, how will the white (or male) students relate to that? They won't be interested." So every year we'd end up with a book by and about a white male. Nobody was ever concerned about the female and/or non-white students finding it "hard to relate" to these books. I found this incredibly insulting to white males. Apparently, they're incapable of empathy or interest in anyone who isn't exactly like them.
And hence, our horribly whitewashed history lessons, and all the whining and crying over introducing things like 1619 Project, culturally relevant courses that incorporate Native or Hispanic centered lessons. This whole CRT hysteria, and women who try to claim they love liberty (Liberty is my daughter's middle name, a concept I deeply value for everyone, and I'm angry so many fascist are hijacking it) and trying to root out books from perspectives they don't like.
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Every time I accidentally gender something when I speak to my son I try to notice and reword immediately if possible. I want both my kids to grow up equal, so I strive to keep a language that allows them to think in terms of equality. But the conditioning is real in us adults too. We tend to teach what we were taught, unless we're hyper aware.
She's quite right. I love Cartoon Network, yes I'm 40, and I think the last show where the main character was female was Power Puff Girls, which hasn't run in like 10 years. The shows they select have grown more diverse, but still rely on male leading roles as though boys wouldn't be interested otherwise. Steven Universe was filled with powerful female, LGBTQ representative roles. And though Steven's transformation into Stevani appeared more female, the show was still anchored by a male main character. All the new cartoons they have started running in the morning, aimed at the younger audience are male leads; they swapped in some obligatory female characters with no significant history in the franchise for beloved male characters on Looney tunes babies since these roles wouldn't rely on slapstick. And speaking of younger audience, Dora the Explorer ended up with a "brother" show featuring Diego.
I LOVE these books, and I wasn't eager to read them at first (I'm female) because the of the title. I had that mindset "I'm a feminist so I don't like pink or princesses or glitter". This sort of thing goes both ways 100%.
My boys wanted a cooking play set. Their dad did most of the cooking. My son wanted to do dance, I did caution him he would be the only boy (he was). Both of them took lessons for years. Helped them with musical theatre. Why was I more open than some parents? Because I heard "but you are a girl/woman" too often growing up and in my career as an engineer. Please let kids follow what they want ,be who they are. I agree I cringe when i see the toys store. I volunteer with Scouts (been coed for a long time in Canada) and try to nip those assumptions in the bud where I can. I was so sorry to hear this about books, one of my fav things.
The author and many commenters oversimplify the reasons for the book title rejection, based on their own biases. Misogyny is not the only possible reason to dislike the title. Would "Prince academy" be more appealing? I do not think so. It is no surprise boys in the story have trouble explaining why they dislike the title. The words "elitist" and "entitled" are not in their vocabulary. What prompted me to respond to this article was how the story author subtly puts down the opinion of one of the boys. The boy is "small", so his opinion obviously is wrong and due to hatred. The hate is constantly on the author's mind. If a boy is uneasy in a crowd of girls, that is not because he hates girls, but because he suffers from social anxiety, just like many adults do.
From what I saw boys usually like more action tales and girls usually like more detailed tales. For some reason I probably never saw any boy in kindergarden or school take part in game of family, tea party or just talking and I probably never saw a girl join a game of building a huge castle and railway. Maybe there is some inhertated liking after all.
No, it isn't. But gender roles are a social product and kids learn that early on. Kindergarten is a perfect example of that and that's when teachers and parents must try and create a more including space. But it's hard. Most young kids still play with both "girly" and "boyish" things (try to figure out what they like) if they feel that it's "safe" to do so.
Load More Replies...
How is reading about people who aren't male going to "damage" a boy? And what exactly do you mean by "feminine men" - men who empathise with other people? Guess what - most boys will grow up to marry women. Why shouldn't they learn how women feel and think?
Load More Replies... 
I don’t understand why you think there’s inconsistency. How is having more books with strong female role models “for girls” in conflict with encouraging boys to read about and appreciate girls and women as good role models?
Load More Replies... I constantly feel that my childhood in the 80ies and 90ies was significantly LESS gendered than the childhood of kids now. We had toys and clothing for just CHILDREN available in addition to gendered stuff, nowadays it's hard even to find a memory game or a colouring book that doesn't come in a pink and a blue version with different prints and images on it. COLOURING BOOKS, for God's sake.
I think it was less gendered in the 1970s and 1980s. I can say that b/c the doctor play kit was a black bag, no matter who got it. Other than Erector sets, it seemed to be fairly well "whoever plays with it plays with it" ---- balls, bats, bikes, whatevers. Now, I can't walk int oa store without it being "GIRLS!" vs "BOYS!" and I'm thinking, "Um.... girls and boys can like same things!"
Load More Replies... For the fourth birthday of my daughter, we threw a party. As we expected not everyone would like unicorns, we themed it "unicorns and dinosaurs" and ordered paper masks. Fast forward: prancing boys and roaring girls. And roaring boys and prancing girls. All united as happy children.
Reminds me of my supervisor telling me about her experience at an interview for a professorship when she was starting out. One of the interviewers said something along the lines of "I notice you research mainly female writers, what are the boys in your lectures going to do?" to which she (with more presence of mind than I will ever have) replied "the same things women in lectures have been doing until now with all make authors". This must have been in the 2000s.
I wish people would stop using the term Tomboy. If a girl does it, it's girly. What she does shouldn't have to be compared to being like a boy just because it doesn't fit in with the expectation. That's exactly what the author is talking about. That's why the term Girly has gotten negative connotations.
This was so so confusing to me growing up, because I was extremely feminine but also have / had stereotypical boy interests and tastes sometimes.
Load More Replies... I grew up as a tomboy - climbing trees and playing with car models and makeshift swords. I am happy I had this opportunity to choose what I like and openly enjoy it without being frowned upon. So I find it very unfair that boys may be denied this freedom. First of all, by their own loving but clueless parents.
"I'd like Lego's for christmas!", "No, those are for boys, not girls". "I'd like to do a martial art", "No, you're going to majorette's because you need to be a pretty, graceful ballerina girl". "I'd like to be a builder, maybe do engineering", "No, that's a man's job. You can only become a doctor, a lawyer, or a veterinarian, because that's the best high paid job a girl can get". It takes decades to deprogram this crap out of your head after parents bludgeon it into you.
Grandparents, too. Uncles, aunts, and idiots at the library who say, "But that's a book little boys like." Yes, and I like dogs, so can I please just have my book? ....And yet it was *less* gendered in the 70s-80s than now. Yikes.
Load More Replies... Yes, yes yes. I'm a mom raising two boys and a girl. I see the effect this has on my boys. My oldest will enjoy "girl" books in secret, but desperately doesn't want other kids at school to know because he will be made fun of. My younger son emphatically rejects anything with the slightest hint of "girly-ness" . Most of the dirrect pressure comes from other kids at school (boys and girls), but they've also gotten subtle messages from other adults. My husband and I have been adamant from day one that there is no such thing as boy or girl toys, books, shows ect, but we can't negate all the messages from the rest if society.
Don't shove people into "boxes" based on expectations. Boxes limit growth. Let people be. Let children grow.
I don't know how to articulate this without causing a commotion, so don't take this the wrong way... but the book DOES look and sound "girly" and if the boys like it, it isn't "girly" after all. I can appreciate the kid's aversion to "girly" things. And when I say "girly" I don't mean "things for girls". Just like "toxic masculinity" doesn't mean ALL masculine behavior. "girly" doesn't mean ALL things for girls. It is the stuff that reinforces unhealthy feminine stereotypes, just like toxic masculinity reinforces unhealthy masculine stereotypes. Unfortunately there is a LOT of toxic "girly" crap out there, and marketers push if hard. Look at Disney. You have strong female characters in the more modern movies like Merida from Brave, who doesn't want to be a traditional princess, and fights against being married & having to wear a dress... but in the Disney STORE, the only dolls they sell of her are in the obscenely pink section of the store, and the doll is in the damn dress.
Agreed,, believe it or not, and it's insane. Even frigging Barbie dolls aren't as stupid as Disney princess stuff.
Load More Replies... When I was a little kid, I read my older sister's Nancy Drew books. All of 'em.
Are we only allowed to relate to stories about people who look like us and with the same bathsuit area parts? Can a straight person be inspired by a gay person or vice verse? ::thumbs down::
No if you're the default setting (in the west that's any one of male, white, straight, abled) you're only supposed to like stories about the default setting. If you're NOT than you're supposed to be absolutely fine with stories about the default setting but also the characters who look/act/think like you. No one complains about a girl reading a book with a male protagonist, or worries about a black kid watching a tv show with a white protagonist, or thinks its odd that a kid in a wheelchair likes a movie with a physically fit hero. But write a female protagonist and it's for girls, make your hero aboriginal or deaf or gay and your target market must clearly be people of colour or people with disabilities or the LGBTQA community. And that's assuming you can get it through the gauntlet of editors asking but why does the hero need to be blind/Indian/a lesbian. Because you can be male, white, cis, het, abled without any justification but if you're not then there needs to be a reason.
Load More Replies... I got over my fear of being ridiculed for reading stuff aimed at girls/women in college thanks to a few amazing reviewers/critics of a kids show named "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." At first I was worried. To say I was bullied throughout school is an understatement. But then I got to the point where my mind finally said: "Why should I even give a crap what people think of what I read? So long as it's not illegal, I don't need to worry about what they say." Now every time I hear adults tell kids, "Oh no, that toy is for girls." or "no that toy is for boys," I internally grimace because it was attitude like that that landed me in that pit for years on end. For clarification, the reviewers in question are Silver Quill, The Fiery Joker, and Antony C. Check em out if you want a good laugh.
Shannon Hale wrote the fourth Spirit Animals book! I LOVE THAT SERIES, AND THAT IS MY FAV BOOK OUT OF ALL OF THEM!
I used to serve on a committee tasked with choosing a book each year for our whole university to read. Every time someone on the committee suggested a book written by or about a minority or woman, others would say, "But, how will the white (or male) students relate to that? They won't be interested." So every year we'd end up with a book by and about a white male. Nobody was ever concerned about the female and/or non-white students finding it "hard to relate" to these books. I found this incredibly insulting to white males. Apparently, they're incapable of empathy or interest in anyone who isn't exactly like them.
And hence, our horribly whitewashed history lessons, and all the whining and crying over introducing things like 1619 Project, culturally relevant courses that incorporate Native or Hispanic centered lessons. This whole CRT hysteria, and women who try to claim they love liberty (Liberty is my daughter's middle name, a concept I deeply value for everyone, and I'm angry so many fascist are hijacking it) and trying to root out books from perspectives they don't like.
Load More Replies... Every time I accidentally gender something when I speak to my son I try to notice and reword immediately if possible. I want both my kids to grow up equal, so I strive to keep a language that allows them to think in terms of equality. But the conditioning is real in us adults too. We tend to teach what we were taught, unless we're hyper aware.
She's quite right. I love Cartoon Network, yes I'm 40, and I think the last show where the main character was female was Power Puff Girls, which hasn't run in like 10 years. The shows they select have grown more diverse, but still rely on male leading roles as though boys wouldn't be interested otherwise. Steven Universe was filled with powerful female, LGBTQ representative roles. And though Steven's transformation into Stevani appeared more female, the show was still anchored by a male main character. All the new cartoons they have started running in the morning, aimed at the younger audience are male leads; they swapped in some obligatory female characters with no significant history in the franchise for beloved male characters on Looney tunes babies since these roles wouldn't rely on slapstick. And speaking of younger audience, Dora the Explorer ended up with a "brother" show featuring Diego.
I LOVE these books, and I wasn't eager to read them at first (I'm female) because the of the title. I had that mindset "I'm a feminist so I don't like pink or princesses or glitter". This sort of thing goes both ways 100%.
My boys wanted a cooking play set. Their dad did most of the cooking. My son wanted to do dance, I did caution him he would be the only boy (he was). Both of them took lessons for years. Helped them with musical theatre. Why was I more open than some parents? Because I heard "but you are a girl/woman" too often growing up and in my career as an engineer. Please let kids follow what they want ,be who they are. I agree I cringe when i see the toys store. I volunteer with Scouts (been coed for a long time in Canada) and try to nip those assumptions in the bud where I can. I was so sorry to hear this about books, one of my fav things.
The author and many commenters oversimplify the reasons for the book title rejection, based on their own biases. Misogyny is not the only possible reason to dislike the title. Would "Prince academy" be more appealing? I do not think so. It is no surprise boys in the story have trouble explaining why they dislike the title. The words "elitist" and "entitled" are not in their vocabulary. What prompted me to respond to this article was how the story author subtly puts down the opinion of one of the boys. The boy is "small", so his opinion obviously is wrong and due to hatred. The hate is constantly on the author's mind. If a boy is uneasy in a crowd of girls, that is not because he hates girls, but because he suffers from social anxiety, just like many adults do.
From what I saw boys usually like more action tales and girls usually like more detailed tales. For some reason I probably never saw any boy in kindergarden or school take part in game of family, tea party or just talking and I probably never saw a girl join a game of building a huge castle and railway. Maybe there is some inhertated liking after all.
No, it isn't. But gender roles are a social product and kids learn that early on. Kindergarten is a perfect example of that and that's when teachers and parents must try and create a more including space. But it's hard. Most young kids still play with both "girly" and "boyish" things (try to figure out what they like) if they feel that it's "safe" to do so.
Load More Replies... How is reading about people who aren't male going to "damage" a boy? And what exactly do you mean by "feminine men" - men who empathise with other people? Guess what - most boys will grow up to marry women. Why shouldn't they learn how women feel and think?
Load More Replies... I don’t understand why you think there’s inconsistency. How is having more books with strong female role models “for girls” in conflict with encouraging boys to read about and appreciate girls and women as good role models?
Load More Replies...
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