Man Tells Pregnant Woman The Bus Seat Is “Taken” By His Hand, So She Just Sits On It, Drama Ensues
Taking public transport means sharing an environment with others. But while only a handful of people enjoy sitting close to strangers, it’s something quite else when passengers feel entitled enough to decide who gets to rest their feet next to them on board.
You see, there are many reasons to give up your seat to a pregnant person who just hopped onto mass transit, and being a decent person is one. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way, and Reddit user Tiredthriwaway55654 experienced it firsthand. The 30-year-old woman who was eight months pregnant has decided to consult the AITA subreddit after a recent encounter with another rude rider.
When she got on a busy bus, she felt lucky enough to see there was one empty seat. But here comes the twist: a guy in business attire claimed it was taken. You know, by his hand. As you probably can guess, his attitude didn’t go well with the woman. Read on to find out how the story unfolded and share your thoughts about it in the comments!
While taking public transport means sharing an enclosed space with other people, some passengers do not see it that way
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
A pregnant woman recently shared how a man refused to offer the only empty seat on the bus because he was “resting” his hand on it
Image credits: ArtisticOperations (not the actual photo)
As if the man’s reaction wasn’t harsh enough, the woman revealed her husband sided with the passenger
Later on, the user added some more information to the story
Tiredthriwaway55654’s story has amassed more than 19K upvotes and 2.5K comments where Redditors unanimously determined that she was not at all wrong to stand up for herself during this troubling encounter. The woman mentioned in the post that her legs were burning and her back was hurting, which is a trademark symptom of having a child growing inside of your body. Yet, the man continued to show zero empathy.
Dealing with entitled passengers who lack respect for other riders can leave anyone irritated. But as the woman later revealed in the comments, she runs into such individuals way more often than she’d prefer. “It’s just upsetting having to go through these situations but I don’t complain so I don’t get called whiney or that kind of stuff. I just [move] on with my day and try to get rid [of] the stress of dealing with people like this,” she wrote.
And it seems she’s not the only one. If you believe it is generally accepted for people to give up their seats to expectant mothers traveling on mass transit, this trend may be changing. A study conducted in the UK revealed that four in ten Britons wouldn’t offer their seat to a pregnant woman.
The survey of 2K regular commuters was commissioned by skincare company Mama Mio as a part of their “I’m Expecting” campaign with the purpose to encourage expectant mothers to speak up when seats on public transport are not forthcoming. It found that the battle for peak-time seats leads to passengers leaving their manners behind or failing to notice pregnant women in the first place.
One in four revealed they failed to give up their seat in case the woman wasn’t actually expecting a child. One in five were afraid that by doing so they might offend a person, so they just do not bother.
Some of the results were quite alarming: three in ten participants believed pregnant women should not be offered a seat until she is “visibly showing”, 18 percent would offer seats during a woman’s third trimester, 11 percent during the second, and only 2 percent during the first three months of pregnancy.
“We were surprised at the findings, as we’d expected everyone would offer up their seat to a pregnant woman,” Natalie Cowley, of Mama Mio, told the Independent. “We were particularly shocked that only two percent said you should offer a seat to a woman in her first trimester, considering how many suffer from severe symptoms during this time, including sickness and fatigue.”
Anna Whitehouse, ambassador for the #ExpectingChange campaign, said that “pregnancy is not a weakness, but it is a vulnerability and I felt this during my first trimester in particular.” She explained that commuting conditions can be incredibly stressful for pregnant people, and being able to sit down can make a difference.
“However, from my own experience, I find that people are either too engrossed in their phones to be aware of their surroundings, or won’t offer their seat unless prompted,” she added. “I’d encourage anyone who needs a seat on public transport to wear a badge and make eye contact. If that fails, don’t suffer in silence — ask for one!”
Here’s what Redditors had to say about the situation
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Very well said! I do in fact wonder though... what would the husband do if he was on the train with her, like would he tell the man to move his hand as well? Or would he just tell her not to care. Like honestly though. She is carrying a whole other person in her stomach!
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I'm always buffled by people saying that it isn't their partner's pregnancy so it's not their problem. Are you also stating that it's not your grandpa so not your problem if he falls and hurts himself in the bus? If not, why are you thinking it's ok to ensure an old human safety is important but not the life and health of the baby in the belly?
So exchange pregnancy for a bald guy with chemo treatments or a person on crutches. That guy may have used that same lame act on 3-5 others, they just didn't have the boldness to sit anyways. When a person is tired of whatever cause, they would like the opportunity to sit. Most just suck-it-up if seats are taken. I'd bet she would have too, had none been available, as she had in the past.
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The fact she is pregnant has NOTHING to do with it. The guy is a complete twat for leaving his hand there no matter who wanted the seat. I only wish it was a smelly old fishmonger or abattoir worker on the way home wanting the seat who sat on him.
He was being stroppy and picking a row with a pregnant woman for no reason I Wonder if would have done the same to a big burley Man
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Definitely NTA… Also, what happened to empathy and common decency. “Her pregnancy isn’t his problem?” She’s growing a whole other human. If there were no empty seats my butt would have left the seat so fast. And I would do the same for anyone who wasn’t at their best. (Broken bones, limps, exhaustion, etc) Their condition isn’t our problem, but we have to have empathy for other people and non-people in & out of our communities!
I don't know about people anymore. As a disabled senior I would have given her my seat... I am disgusted by the selfish behavior of people now.
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How come that husbands in the IATA topics are most of the time unsupportive ässhats?
I'm guessing because if you have a decent husband to confide in, you get confirmation that you are not TA, and therefore don't need to resort to the internet
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Absolutely not TA. While I agree that being pregnant- or old or disabled...- doesn't mean you automatically get to take from others, morally I think most people would empathize and give up a seat. But it's not required. However seats are for passengers and as much as it annoys us sometimes when someone chooses to sit near us, we still have to move our purses or bags if someone chooses to sit there. They pay for their seat and for their ride and if a seat is available, there's usually a disclaimer somewhere on the bus saying you can't use up seats with items. I love how he talks about disrespect afterward, lol. And the husband was even worse.
I don't want to be that guy, but... The husband who always has her back, does not side wirh her on this? Did she tell him the story differently, or did she add the husband part for a bit more outrage?
She actually said that he's sided against her on things before.
Load More Replies... I am a (mostly) healthy 57-year-old man. I am overweight, but drfinitely not eight-months pregnant. And I would have sat on his hand too. You don't get two REDACTED seats!
The husband is jealous that your butt touched another man 🤣 If it were me, than man would have been needing a sling. I would have sat down so hard 🤣 Good for you! C I'm curious, did anyone on the bus stand up for you?
You did right. I would've done it. The a hole was the dude with his hand in the seat who lacked common human decency.
Why are there no yata stories? I wanna see a story where the op is the ah
Oh I've seen them. But I didn't agree with them.
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Wow. Both men were 100% stupid in this story. The businessman and the husband should be together.
I would not have sat on his hand - (but you are NTA for doing so, I would be too chicken).I might have just stood there and calmly and repeatedly asked him why I couldn't sit there, like it's incomprehendable. Then I would be like "Really?" and start narrating a video - the full bus, the stop, the scenery out the bus window, THE HAND ON THE SEAT (I wouldn't get his face, he might flip out) then say "No one would ever believe this - "Can I please have the seat that your hand is on??" And record him having the gall to actually saying NO...
"What's your hand's name? How firm is its grip? How long have you two been lovers?" *stares hard at hand* "I think I see a callus forming."
Load More Replies... I can't believe that there wasn't another passenger who backed her up! I would have made a loud comment about his right hand being tired because he obviously "overworked" it and offer her my seat. The fact that it was a younger crowd shouldn't change that... don't people teach their children basic respect and empathy these days?
I'm going to hell for laughing so hard at this. I'm just picturing a miserable 8 month pregnant woman doing the about to pop knee bend to sit down and this man getting the offended face. Don't mess with a miserable pregnant woman, everyone knows this.
I've haven't been pregnant for a long time. Being tired and achy is not an excuse to sit on someone's hand. I know she wants to sit down. I would have happily given up my seat for a pregnant person. Her rights end where his rights begin. And vice versa. "Now I should mention that I don't use my pregnancy as an excuse to get what I want but people just offer me their places by themselves which is kind and sweet." So when people don't offer, she should sit on their hand? Fortunately for her, he wasn't a psychopath. He could have pushed her hard enough to cause injury. It's not worth it.
Ha, several times on crowded public transportation men have put their hands in close contact with my butt on purpose and I had to grab it and twist till they decided to stop. Guess he wasn't one of those, at least?
Pregnant or not, if someone needs a seat you move your hand (or bag whatever else that isn't your own butt) and let them sit. There shouldn't even be a need to ask, it should just happen. That guy was a jerk. He deserved to be made uncomfortable. And if the driver heard the exchange, they should have stepped in and told the guy to smarten up or get off the bus.
Wow her husband is so wrong cannot believe she was more worried about a stranger and jerk than he tired and overworked wife
The United States is horrible, especially when it comes to leave when you are pregnant. 8 months and your still going to work. Second the the guy on the bus was a d!ck and wtf your hand is not a person. Lastly...you need a divorce from your husband. Ain't no way my wife working at 8 months pregnant let alone taking public transportation. I think TF not! This whole post pissed me off
Pregnant shouldn't even be in the equation. If there's a clearly empty seat, (no, hands do not count) and someone politely requests it, you accommodate. End of story. That being said, not sure, especially now, that I would want a stranger's hand being that close to my a**e, but I guess do what you gotta.
We weren't there. Maybe she was being rude and entitled. However even if she was... It's still more than a little weird the guy went full AH and her husband backed it up. What is wrong with people, it's an empty seat. You move your hand to let anyone sit, especially a pregnant woman. Wonder what the hell went wrong with their upbringings that they'd be completely fine if someone treated their mothers this way.
You never say "I'm tired" if u need to sit on a bus or bench. You say "I'm sorry I'm going to barf/or faint f I don't sit down." No one will stay near tou if your going to barf :) Husband is a wanker btw
NTA obviously. Would have done the same when I was pregnant. You get to a whole new level of "Can't stand b******t". And I always give up my seat for a pregnant woman. Come on, she suffer enough - just show some compassion or common sense at the very least. If she's standing and falling she will possibly hurt herself and the baby. If you fall... well it's just you. Two against one. No one wants a stranger in their lap (well, that's how it often feels like on public transport) but that's life.
I don't understand, who writes like this: "He told me I [messed] up"? What's with the [words] that are in brackets as if they [have] been added later by someone who [edited] the text? Makes no sense.
You get my upvote for sitting on his hand and agree with all others you could have given him one or all of the suggested bonus’. Seriously, I hope your husband is rethinking his answer, especially as he has no clue or insensitive to of how uncomfortable it becomes at your stage of pregnancy.
I keep trying to find one SANE reason there could have been for him to want a seat for his hand to have a seat but I don’t think I’m crazy enough to get it. He was a moron and your husband is crazy too.
I would not said a word and sat down and if he was such a cry-baby. I would have said that next time i would choose his lap or have told him about how easy pregnant women pee.... I can get so female angry when something like this happens....
NTA the guy was beyond rude. He deserved it. Your husband is a jerk for reprimanding you.
Plot twist: it wasn't the yuppie 's hand at all. It was Thing from the Adams Family.
Being pregnant had nothing to do with whether she could sit or not. The seat was NOT being used & good for her. And how her husband sided with the man is beyond my comprehension!!!
He should pay another fare if he wants two seats. If it happens again pretend to faint and sit on his lap. Jerk.
The lady was right, her husband an idiot (will they be together for much time after the lil un arrives, and he's annoyed the wain cries all night, and his wife takes a long time to move her tired body out of bed, to nurse the baby?! The idiot who started the argument over nothing was a mysoginist, ignoramous, and an utter con (I'll swear in French if I want!). Ladies who wants to sing to him Pink's "It's you and your hand tonight"? Never got past "Incapacity", with regular exams back in UK (Northern Ireland), but in my adoptive France (yes I fell for a French femme fatale) I have been assessed as 80+ disabled, have a priority card, to jump ques, and get seats on public transport. I hate to use it, and it's my wife insists at times. Perhaps oddly it is the younger generation who offer me a seat, before being asked, and often the rougher looking ones. I still get up and offer a seat to pregnant women, golden oldies, and other disabled folks, despite not being asked.
I was busing to and from work some years ago. The buses here often have some high school kids riding. I get on, 50ish woman, and there is one partially open seat in the back. Tall kid has his legs spread way out, taking up two seats. I tell him, "scoot over, your junk isn't that big anyway." He leaves and goes to his friends. Obviously tell them what I said because they start laughing. I had to smirk. LOL
NTA... this passenger deserved a slap on the cheek; so did your husband !
It's the taking up an extra seat for his f***ing hand that's the first piece of arrogant BS, the 'you putting your bum/parts on my hand' is the second piece of moronic arrogance, his disbelief that anyone would dare call him on it, the husband agreeing is the third. Did you see me mention the pregnancy anywhere in there? I'd have agreed with the reaction if the woman was a large white male.
ONE ticket pays for ONE seat. You buy two tickets you can claim two seats. People with one ticket that don't like humans, can go play in their basement. It's public transport, your private entitlement is neither welcome nor valued. I salute this woman for even asking the man to move his hand before sitting on it. If someone did this in my presence, that hand would be coming home with me instead of its owner. "it's occupied by my hand" ... THE F*CKING GALL!
That guy needs a lesson, a serious one, in decency, and you need a new husband...
Standing for the ride can be dangerous for pregnant people, especially if you have any balance issues like I have. One fall can send you to the ER for fetal monitoring. So, if my choices are risking a fall and possible injury to myself/the baby or offending a guy being unreasonable, that guy's feelings are pretty low priority.
Being both a pregnant person and a bus driver, at separate times. I, as a driver would have stopped the bus and either asked the gentleman to move the hand and let you sit or asked him to get off the bus and wait for a bus that was less crowded. You are NOT THE AHOLE. Your husband needs to put a twelve pound watermelon on his belly with just tape as support and walk around for one day and his attitude would change. I'm being generous on the twelve pounds. I had eight pound babies and then you have to add the water pounds and the craving pounds.
It has been a while since the state I live in (not in the USA) has passed a law that determines that ALL SEATS IN ALL PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION must be occupied PREFERABLY by people who need it more (the elderly, pregnant or breastfeeding women, handicapped people, extremely obese people or people caring an infant). If there's nobody like that, then the seats are free for everyone else. ♡ Good thing that other people usually offer her the seat.
Not sure where this is, but here in Canada we have "priority seating" areas labeled SPECIFICALLY for the elderly, disabled and pregnant women. If the bus is packed, it's common courtesy to f*****g move and give up your seat. This yahoo wasnt even IN THE SEAT. 1000% NTA and the husband need to have his head slapped stupid
Seats are for sitting!!! Why is he entitled to two seats?? What a childish jerk! And your husband should help you feel better after such a crappy ordeal, especially while you're pregnant! He could stand to be more supportive as your SO. I'm sorry you had to deal with two jerks on the same day. Sheesh!
I didn´t read all,but in most countries Public transportation have signs showing Pregnant,disabled and any-one carrying a toddler has first right to a seat...normally the seats up front.
You can't always tell who is struggling but if its obvious, don't be a jerk. If you are feeling good that day, be kind to someone who isn't. Don't judge people who don't offer help because you don't know what they are dealing with in their life. However, feel free to judge the A-hole who claims his hand needs its own seat.
This post goes to show how f'ed up the world is getting. Abd the husband what an ass to side with the ass who had his hand on the seat.
Creepy thought though... what if he was a pervert, touching warm seats (possibly even sniffing his hand?) And he waits and hopes someone will sit on his hand. The arguing and upsett act is just so he has witnesses/security footage so he can get away with being a pervert? :/ One thing i learned between my x and guys i met between him and my new hubby is that there is a huge variety of perverts that just seem surreal in the saddest/most disturbing ways.
New (13 years married) hubby is good though. Only the normal human perviness. XD
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I'm seriously concerned about 1) is it a generation thing? 2) who is this s*** of a man as husband? 3) why would ppl staring at the pregnant lady than giving the a**hole a hard time? 4) why didn't anyone before that seat offered the lady a seat??? Is it just me? But where I come from I was told to offer a seat in public transport to elderly, pregnant women, kids (yes they can have a hard time to stay safe grabbing some something to balance themselves while a hard ride...let them sit!!!) and anyone who looks like whitish shortly before pass out for any reason! What's the deal?! If you yourself don't fit in those categories, move your ass up! Period!
It would be douche move to anyone....but a PREGNANT woman just took it to a whole new level of jackass
Seeing how was arguing with this man over a seat, someone else could of offered a seat. I would of done the same, whether hand or whatever, pregnant or not
When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my husband was on lay-off. I waited in the car while he filed his paperwork for the two prior weeks. While I was waiting, I realized I was in labor. We stopped at the Jobs And Family Services office to sign up for a medical card to cover the hospital bill. This was in the late 1970s, and it seemed as if half of our state was unemployed. We were in there for at least four HOURS, and nobody even asked if I would like to sit down. After the first 2 hours, I just sat on the floor.
I have a pregnant wife and any A-hole who did that to her in a public transport would lose his hand.
I wonder how bp verifies these stories. My brain can barely compute the jerk on the bus and even less so the husband who somehow took the opposing perspective. Like how? So I conclude fake until proven otherwise. If true, get divorced, find good people
At 8 months my pelvis would ache like I was being slowly split I half from the downward pressure, at the end of a normal day. F**k that guy, the rest of the passengers just watching all this, and her husband. May none of us ever live in that town
Definitely not the ahole. I can at least see the point on the one where someone still had a long way to walk, and there wasn't another seat. In this case the suit is hogging the seats. It's no different than someone with their leg on multiple seats. He can rest his hand in his lap.
So the UK's public transport doesn't come with a literal rule to give up a seat for pregnant women? I regularly travel by train, and I see these stickers with rules including who to give up your seat for, pregnant women being one of them. Often having panic attacks during train rides due to my hf autism, I need a seat as well. I won't ask for it in certain train rides like to Zandvoort (a beach town near Amsterdam) because that train is often so packed my mom jokes its Auschwitz (thankfully its a short enough ride). But gosh, I love that rule. Its been my comfort when I travel through the country. I think the UK should really enforce common courtesy as part of its rules in public transportation.
That man would have smiled and kissed another man's ass if he needed a seat. The hand guy is a misogynistic ass. With misogyny comes racism and homophobia too. If you hate on one group of people you will 100% hate on everyone that does not look like you. Entitled people are the root of all hardships everyone else faces
Couple of years back I had to have my knee fixed and god damn, I did the same when people choose to occupy the last free seat. Hands, bags, I didnt care. If people argued, I told them to stick it. If they yelled, I yelled back. Lucky me, I didnt have a single time having others side with them.
NTA - there was a free seat, his hand doesn't need a whole ass seat However, if there wasn't a seat available, you can't always assume the other person isn't also in need of a seat. I suffer with chronic pain, and thankfully, I can drive now, but I used to often get the bus, be in a lot of pain and need a seat. I'd be glared at so much because my disability is invisible. I'd normally give up my seat for a pregnant woman, but I sometimes will admit, when I'm in a lot of pain etc, that I think "my chronic pain wasn't by choice, their pregnancy was" but I'm generally not bitter enough to actually act upon that kind of thought
My hand was broken. I was on the way to the hospital. First time bus rider. I told her all this. She said too bad and plopped down before I could react. These drumhead trials though....you should all be ashamed for espousing your opinions.
Fanfiction belongs in another part of this website.
Load More Replies... See here's the deal, when you voluntarily get pregnant I expect that woman to deal with what she's going through. Pregnancy is hard but that is what she signed up for and it isn't my problem. Also just buy a damn car it's so much better than taking public transport.
That still doesn't give you a right to take up 2 seats on public transit. No matter how much you hate women.
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She should have sat on the hand and as the ass made contact shrieked that he put his hand onnthe seat to feel her butt and she is shocked...SHOCKED...at his disgusting behavior.
Wrong move. Should have immediately sat down on his hand, without a word, then screamed at the top of her voice that he was 'groping her'; stayed firmly in place and kept on yelling until everyone could see it. Bus driver might kick him off the bus, or maybe the cops'll get called. Either way, keep on complaining. Embarrassment at the minimum should stop him doing it again, losing his ride would help, and better still getting a fine and known as a sexual predator the best result of all.
This why I always put my hand on the seat with my thumb up. Sit there at your own peril.
Sorry, but if I were her husband I would go find this guy and break the fingers on his hand. In fact, if I was on that bus, I probably would've done the same. But neither of those 'solutions' are possible for me and her REAL husband sounds like an absolute idiot so I feel badly that she is on her own both with this situation and raising the forthcoming child.
YTA for having a baby when you need to “work extra time to afford basic supplies”. Why are you having a kid you can’t afford. Totally irresistible.
I disagree. I think she's the AH. Pregnancy or not; she invaded someone's space after being declined a seat. Public transport or not; he has every right to his space. Take this from someone who tries to avoid crowded spaces.
Sorry you don't have a right to 2 seats in public transit. Stop trying to be clever by playing the contrarian.
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Why do people who know they’re not the a*****e keep asking these stupid questions. Self validation, virtue signaling or whatever. AITA for saying this?
It happens. A woman was raped on a train in Philadelphia, in clear view of bystanders who did nothing.
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What's wrong, little incel? Did your mom cut your internet off too soon?
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Very well said! I do in fact wonder though... what would the husband do if he was on the train with her, like would he tell the man to move his hand as well? Or would he just tell her not to care. Like honestly though. She is carrying a whole other person in her stomach!
Load More Replies... I'm always buffled by people saying that it isn't their partner's pregnancy so it's not their problem. Are you also stating that it's not your grandpa so not your problem if he falls and hurts himself in the bus? If not, why are you thinking it's ok to ensure an old human safety is important but not the life and health of the baby in the belly?
So exchange pregnancy for a bald guy with chemo treatments or a person on crutches. That guy may have used that same lame act on 3-5 others, they just didn't have the boldness to sit anyways. When a person is tired of whatever cause, they would like the opportunity to sit. Most just suck-it-up if seats are taken. I'd bet she would have too, had none been available, as she had in the past.
Load More Replies... The fact she is pregnant has NOTHING to do with it. The guy is a complete twat for leaving his hand there no matter who wanted the seat. I only wish it was a smelly old fishmonger or abattoir worker on the way home wanting the seat who sat on him.
He was being stroppy and picking a row with a pregnant woman for no reason I Wonder if would have done the same to a big burley Man
Load More Replies... Definitely NTA… Also, what happened to empathy and common decency. “Her pregnancy isn’t his problem?” She’s growing a whole other human. If there were no empty seats my butt would have left the seat so fast. And I would do the same for anyone who wasn’t at their best. (Broken bones, limps, exhaustion, etc) Their condition isn’t our problem, but we have to have empathy for other people and non-people in & out of our communities!
I don't know about people anymore. As a disabled senior I would have given her my seat... I am disgusted by the selfish behavior of people now.
Load More Replies... How come that husbands in the IATA topics are most of the time unsupportive ässhats?
I'm guessing because if you have a decent husband to confide in, you get confirmation that you are not TA, and therefore don't need to resort to the internet
Load More Replies... Absolutely not TA. While I agree that being pregnant- or old or disabled...- doesn't mean you automatically get to take from others, morally I think most people would empathize and give up a seat. But it's not required. However seats are for passengers and as much as it annoys us sometimes when someone chooses to sit near us, we still have to move our purses or bags if someone chooses to sit there. They pay for their seat and for their ride and if a seat is available, there's usually a disclaimer somewhere on the bus saying you can't use up seats with items. I love how he talks about disrespect afterward, lol. And the husband was even worse.
I don't want to be that guy, but... The husband who always has her back, does not side wirh her on this? Did she tell him the story differently, or did she add the husband part for a bit more outrage?
She actually said that he's sided against her on things before.
Load More Replies... I am a (mostly) healthy 57-year-old man. I am overweight, but drfinitely not eight-months pregnant. And I would have sat on his hand too. You don't get two REDACTED seats!
The husband is jealous that your butt touched another man 🤣 If it were me, than man would have been needing a sling. I would have sat down so hard 🤣 Good for you! C I'm curious, did anyone on the bus stand up for you?
You did right. I would've done it. The a hole was the dude with his hand in the seat who lacked common human decency.
Why are there no yata stories? I wanna see a story where the op is the ah
Oh I've seen them. But I didn't agree with them.
Load More Replies... Wow. Both men were 100% stupid in this story. The businessman and the husband should be together.
I would not have sat on his hand - (but you are NTA for doing so, I would be too chicken).I might have just stood there and calmly and repeatedly asked him why I couldn't sit there, like it's incomprehendable. Then I would be like "Really?" and start narrating a video - the full bus, the stop, the scenery out the bus window, THE HAND ON THE SEAT (I wouldn't get his face, he might flip out) then say "No one would ever believe this - "Can I please have the seat that your hand is on??" And record him having the gall to actually saying NO...
"What's your hand's name? How firm is its grip? How long have you two been lovers?" *stares hard at hand* "I think I see a callus forming."
Load More Replies... I can't believe that there wasn't another passenger who backed her up! I would have made a loud comment about his right hand being tired because he obviously "overworked" it and offer her my seat. The fact that it was a younger crowd shouldn't change that... don't people teach their children basic respect and empathy these days?
I'm going to hell for laughing so hard at this. I'm just picturing a miserable 8 month pregnant woman doing the about to pop knee bend to sit down and this man getting the offended face. Don't mess with a miserable pregnant woman, everyone knows this.
I've haven't been pregnant for a long time. Being tired and achy is not an excuse to sit on someone's hand. I know she wants to sit down. I would have happily given up my seat for a pregnant person. Her rights end where his rights begin. And vice versa. "Now I should mention that I don't use my pregnancy as an excuse to get what I want but people just offer me their places by themselves which is kind and sweet." So when people don't offer, she should sit on their hand? Fortunately for her, he wasn't a psychopath. He could have pushed her hard enough to cause injury. It's not worth it.
Ha, several times on crowded public transportation men have put their hands in close contact with my butt on purpose and I had to grab it and twist till they decided to stop. Guess he wasn't one of those, at least?
Pregnant or not, if someone needs a seat you move your hand (or bag whatever else that isn't your own butt) and let them sit. There shouldn't even be a need to ask, it should just happen. That guy was a jerk. He deserved to be made uncomfortable. And if the driver heard the exchange, they should have stepped in and told the guy to smarten up or get off the bus.
Wow her husband is so wrong cannot believe she was more worried about a stranger and jerk than he tired and overworked wife
The United States is horrible, especially when it comes to leave when you are pregnant. 8 months and your still going to work. Second the the guy on the bus was a d!ck and wtf your hand is not a person. Lastly...you need a divorce from your husband. Ain't no way my wife working at 8 months pregnant let alone taking public transportation. I think TF not! This whole post pissed me off
Pregnant shouldn't even be in the equation. If there's a clearly empty seat, (no, hands do not count) and someone politely requests it, you accommodate. End of story. That being said, not sure, especially now, that I would want a stranger's hand being that close to my a**e, but I guess do what you gotta.
We weren't there. Maybe she was being rude and entitled. However even if she was... It's still more than a little weird the guy went full AH and her husband backed it up. What is wrong with people, it's an empty seat. You move your hand to let anyone sit, especially a pregnant woman. Wonder what the hell went wrong with their upbringings that they'd be completely fine if someone treated their mothers this way.
You never say "I'm tired" if u need to sit on a bus or bench. You say "I'm sorry I'm going to barf/or faint f I don't sit down." No one will stay near tou if your going to barf :) Husband is a wanker btw
NTA obviously. Would have done the same when I was pregnant. You get to a whole new level of "Can't stand b******t". And I always give up my seat for a pregnant woman. Come on, she suffer enough - just show some compassion or common sense at the very least. If she's standing and falling she will possibly hurt herself and the baby. If you fall... well it's just you. Two against one. No one wants a stranger in their lap (well, that's how it often feels like on public transport) but that's life.
I don't understand, who writes like this: "He told me I [messed] up"? What's with the [words] that are in brackets as if they [have] been added later by someone who [edited] the text? Makes no sense.
You get my upvote for sitting on his hand and agree with all others you could have given him one or all of the suggested bonus’. Seriously, I hope your husband is rethinking his answer, especially as he has no clue or insensitive to of how uncomfortable it becomes at your stage of pregnancy.
I keep trying to find one SANE reason there could have been for him to want a seat for his hand to have a seat but I don’t think I’m crazy enough to get it. He was a moron and your husband is crazy too.
I would not said a word and sat down and if he was such a cry-baby. I would have said that next time i would choose his lap or have told him about how easy pregnant women pee.... I can get so female angry when something like this happens....
NTA the guy was beyond rude. He deserved it. Your husband is a jerk for reprimanding you.
Plot twist: it wasn't the yuppie 's hand at all. It was Thing from the Adams Family.
Being pregnant had nothing to do with whether she could sit or not. The seat was NOT being used & good for her. And how her husband sided with the man is beyond my comprehension!!!
He should pay another fare if he wants two seats. If it happens again pretend to faint and sit on his lap. Jerk.
The lady was right, her husband an idiot (will they be together for much time after the lil un arrives, and he's annoyed the wain cries all night, and his wife takes a long time to move her tired body out of bed, to nurse the baby?! The idiot who started the argument over nothing was a mysoginist, ignoramous, and an utter con (I'll swear in French if I want!). Ladies who wants to sing to him Pink's "It's you and your hand tonight"? Never got past "Incapacity", with regular exams back in UK (Northern Ireland), but in my adoptive France (yes I fell for a French femme fatale) I have been assessed as 80+ disabled, have a priority card, to jump ques, and get seats on public transport. I hate to use it, and it's my wife insists at times. Perhaps oddly it is the younger generation who offer me a seat, before being asked, and often the rougher looking ones. I still get up and offer a seat to pregnant women, golden oldies, and other disabled folks, despite not being asked.
I was busing to and from work some years ago. The buses here often have some high school kids riding. I get on, 50ish woman, and there is one partially open seat in the back. Tall kid has his legs spread way out, taking up two seats. I tell him, "scoot over, your junk isn't that big anyway." He leaves and goes to his friends. Obviously tell them what I said because they start laughing. I had to smirk. LOL
NTA... this passenger deserved a slap on the cheek; so did your husband !
It's the taking up an extra seat for his f***ing hand that's the first piece of arrogant BS, the 'you putting your bum/parts on my hand' is the second piece of moronic arrogance, his disbelief that anyone would dare call him on it, the husband agreeing is the third. Did you see me mention the pregnancy anywhere in there? I'd have agreed with the reaction if the woman was a large white male.
ONE ticket pays for ONE seat. You buy two tickets you can claim two seats. People with one ticket that don't like humans, can go play in their basement. It's public transport, your private entitlement is neither welcome nor valued. I salute this woman for even asking the man to move his hand before sitting on it. If someone did this in my presence, that hand would be coming home with me instead of its owner. "it's occupied by my hand" ... THE F*CKING GALL!
That guy needs a lesson, a serious one, in decency, and you need a new husband...
Standing for the ride can be dangerous for pregnant people, especially if you have any balance issues like I have. One fall can send you to the ER for fetal monitoring. So, if my choices are risking a fall and possible injury to myself/the baby or offending a guy being unreasonable, that guy's feelings are pretty low priority.
Being both a pregnant person and a bus driver, at separate times. I, as a driver would have stopped the bus and either asked the gentleman to move the hand and let you sit or asked him to get off the bus and wait for a bus that was less crowded. You are NOT THE AHOLE. Your husband needs to put a twelve pound watermelon on his belly with just tape as support and walk around for one day and his attitude would change. I'm being generous on the twelve pounds. I had eight pound babies and then you have to add the water pounds and the craving pounds.
It has been a while since the state I live in (not in the USA) has passed a law that determines that ALL SEATS IN ALL PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION must be occupied PREFERABLY by people who need it more (the elderly, pregnant or breastfeeding women, handicapped people, extremely obese people or people caring an infant). If there's nobody like that, then the seats are free for everyone else. ♡ Good thing that other people usually offer her the seat.
Not sure where this is, but here in Canada we have "priority seating" areas labeled SPECIFICALLY for the elderly, disabled and pregnant women. If the bus is packed, it's common courtesy to f*****g move and give up your seat. This yahoo wasnt even IN THE SEAT. 1000% NTA and the husband need to have his head slapped stupid
Seats are for sitting!!! Why is he entitled to two seats?? What a childish jerk! And your husband should help you feel better after such a crappy ordeal, especially while you're pregnant! He could stand to be more supportive as your SO. I'm sorry you had to deal with two jerks on the same day. Sheesh!
I didn´t read all,but in most countries Public transportation have signs showing Pregnant,disabled and any-one carrying a toddler has first right to a seat...normally the seats up front.
You can't always tell who is struggling but if its obvious, don't be a jerk. If you are feeling good that day, be kind to someone who isn't. Don't judge people who don't offer help because you don't know what they are dealing with in their life. However, feel free to judge the A-hole who claims his hand needs its own seat.
This post goes to show how f'ed up the world is getting. Abd the husband what an ass to side with the ass who had his hand on the seat.
Creepy thought though... what if he was a pervert, touching warm seats (possibly even sniffing his hand?) And he waits and hopes someone will sit on his hand. The arguing and upsett act is just so he has witnesses/security footage so he can get away with being a pervert? :/ One thing i learned between my x and guys i met between him and my new hubby is that there is a huge variety of perverts that just seem surreal in the saddest/most disturbing ways.
New (13 years married) hubby is good though. Only the normal human perviness. XD
Load More Replies... I'm seriously concerned about 1) is it a generation thing? 2) who is this s*** of a man as husband? 3) why would ppl staring at the pregnant lady than giving the a**hole a hard time? 4) why didn't anyone before that seat offered the lady a seat??? Is it just me? But where I come from I was told to offer a seat in public transport to elderly, pregnant women, kids (yes they can have a hard time to stay safe grabbing some something to balance themselves while a hard ride...let them sit!!!) and anyone who looks like whitish shortly before pass out for any reason! What's the deal?! If you yourself don't fit in those categories, move your ass up! Period!
It would be douche move to anyone....but a PREGNANT woman just took it to a whole new level of jackass
Seeing how was arguing with this man over a seat, someone else could of offered a seat. I would of done the same, whether hand or whatever, pregnant or not
When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my husband was on lay-off. I waited in the car while he filed his paperwork for the two prior weeks. While I was waiting, I realized I was in labor. We stopped at the Jobs And Family Services office to sign up for a medical card to cover the hospital bill. This was in the late 1970s, and it seemed as if half of our state was unemployed. We were in there for at least four HOURS, and nobody even asked if I would like to sit down. After the first 2 hours, I just sat on the floor.
I have a pregnant wife and any A-hole who did that to her in a public transport would lose his hand.
I wonder how bp verifies these stories. My brain can barely compute the jerk on the bus and even less so the husband who somehow took the opposing perspective. Like how? So I conclude fake until proven otherwise. If true, get divorced, find good people
At 8 months my pelvis would ache like I was being slowly split I half from the downward pressure, at the end of a normal day. F**k that guy, the rest of the passengers just watching all this, and her husband. May none of us ever live in that town
Definitely not the ahole. I can at least see the point on the one where someone still had a long way to walk, and there wasn't another seat. In this case the suit is hogging the seats. It's no different than someone with their leg on multiple seats. He can rest his hand in his lap.
So the UK's public transport doesn't come with a literal rule to give up a seat for pregnant women? I regularly travel by train, and I see these stickers with rules including who to give up your seat for, pregnant women being one of them. Often having panic attacks during train rides due to my hf autism, I need a seat as well. I won't ask for it in certain train rides like to Zandvoort (a beach town near Amsterdam) because that train is often so packed my mom jokes its Auschwitz (thankfully its a short enough ride). But gosh, I love that rule. Its been my comfort when I travel through the country. I think the UK should really enforce common courtesy as part of its rules in public transportation.
That man would have smiled and kissed another man's ass if he needed a seat. The hand guy is a misogynistic ass. With misogyny comes racism and homophobia too. If you hate on one group of people you will 100% hate on everyone that does not look like you. Entitled people are the root of all hardships everyone else faces
Couple of years back I had to have my knee fixed and god damn, I did the same when people choose to occupy the last free seat. Hands, bags, I didnt care. If people argued, I told them to stick it. If they yelled, I yelled back. Lucky me, I didnt have a single time having others side with them.
NTA - there was a free seat, his hand doesn't need a whole ass seat However, if there wasn't a seat available, you can't always assume the other person isn't also in need of a seat. I suffer with chronic pain, and thankfully, I can drive now, but I used to often get the bus, be in a lot of pain and need a seat. I'd be glared at so much because my disability is invisible. I'd normally give up my seat for a pregnant woman, but I sometimes will admit, when I'm in a lot of pain etc, that I think "my chronic pain wasn't by choice, their pregnancy was" but I'm generally not bitter enough to actually act upon that kind of thought
My hand was broken. I was on the way to the hospital. First time bus rider. I told her all this. She said too bad and plopped down before I could react. These drumhead trials though....you should all be ashamed for espousing your opinions.
Fanfiction belongs in another part of this website.
Load More Replies... See here's the deal, when you voluntarily get pregnant I expect that woman to deal with what she's going through. Pregnancy is hard but that is what she signed up for and it isn't my problem. Also just buy a damn car it's so much better than taking public transport.
That still doesn't give you a right to take up 2 seats on public transit. No matter how much you hate women.
Load More Replies... She should have sat on the hand and as the ass made contact shrieked that he put his hand onnthe seat to feel her butt and she is shocked...SHOCKED...at his disgusting behavior.
Wrong move. Should have immediately sat down on his hand, without a word, then screamed at the top of her voice that he was 'groping her'; stayed firmly in place and kept on yelling until everyone could see it. Bus driver might kick him off the bus, or maybe the cops'll get called. Either way, keep on complaining. Embarrassment at the minimum should stop him doing it again, losing his ride would help, and better still getting a fine and known as a sexual predator the best result of all.
This why I always put my hand on the seat with my thumb up. Sit there at your own peril.
Sorry, but if I were her husband I would go find this guy and break the fingers on his hand. In fact, if I was on that bus, I probably would've done the same. But neither of those 'solutions' are possible for me and her REAL husband sounds like an absolute idiot so I feel badly that she is on her own both with this situation and raising the forthcoming child.
YTA for having a baby when you need to “work extra time to afford basic supplies”. Why are you having a kid you can’t afford. Totally irresistible.
I disagree. I think she's the AH. Pregnancy or not; she invaded someone's space after being declined a seat. Public transport or not; he has every right to his space. Take this from someone who tries to avoid crowded spaces.
Sorry you don't have a right to 2 seats in public transit. Stop trying to be clever by playing the contrarian.
Load More Replies... Why do people who know they’re not the a*****e keep asking these stupid questions. Self validation, virtue signaling or whatever. AITA for saying this?
It happens. A woman was raped on a train in Philadelphia, in clear view of bystanders who did nothing.
Load More Replies... What's wrong, little incel? Did your mom cut your internet off too soon?
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