Woman Gets Blasted For Not Waking Up A Pregnant Colleague From Her Nap At The End Of Their Lunch Break
Com- [clap] mu- [clap] ni- [clap] ca- [clap] tion [clap] is [clap] key [clap].
Doesn’t matter where you are, doesn’t matter what you do, if you communicate with other people effectively, you will have solved nearly all of your problems in life.
And if you don’t communicate with others, then at least don’t expect them to read your mind, and even more so, don’t blame them if something doesn’t go the way you had hoped. Like hoping your coworker wakes you up from your afternoon nap at work.
More Info: Reddit
If you’re gonna go for a nap and not set an alarm, be ready to face the potential consequences of sleeping through your work
Image credits: george ruiz (not the actual photo)
Reddit user Energetic_Hyena6965, a 24-year-old woman, works an office job with a bit of a strict work culture. For starters, lunch times are done in groups, so each employee has their lunch break at a different time, with groups having earlier or later times, and they seemingly overlap.
They also can’t bring any food or drink to snack on at their workstations because computers. Lastly, bad things might happen to good people if they happen to arrive late to their desks.
So, one fateful Friday, Anne, a 6-months pregnant coworker of OP’s, was on her lunch break together with OP. It has become a bit of a habit for her to take a short nap because the baby demands a somnial sacrifice.
Or, maybe decide to blame someone else for your lack of foresight and make them get massive support from folks online
Image credits: Energetic_Hyena6965
But, unlike most days, she did not wake up on time to get back to her desk. She always does, even if she usually doesn’t set an alarm for it, but she ended up sleeping a good 30 minutes into her work time.
OP spent her lunch break in the break room as well, scrolling, kinda sorta knowing her coworker was taking a nap on the couch, but mostly zoned out because of her ADHD. So, when she left the break room at the end of their designated lunch time, she did so while still in her zone.
After said 30-ish minutes, some of the other colleagues noticed that OP’s colleague Anne was not at her desk. One quick search later, they found her deep in her dreamy slumber on the break room couch.
OP approached the AITA community with a situation where she was being blamed for not waking up a colleague, despite her not asking to
Image credits: Energetic_Hyena6965
Given the strict work environment, the boss ended up finding out and giving her a warning about it. This warning immediately ricocheted at OP in the form of entitled accusations.
Apparently, Anne was of the impression that, since she and OP share a break time, OP was supposed to wake her up so she wouldn’t miss the remainder of her shift. On top of that, she told Energetic that she’s selfish and careless. And to make matters even worse, many colleagues started siding with Anne on the matter.
OP came back with the idea that if Anne can’t wake up for work, then maybe she shouldn’t even sleep at work in the first place. This made Anne even angrier, and kept saying that it’s the baby, not her.
The situation escalated when OP was accused of being careless and selfish, and other coworkers started siding with the “victim”
Image credits: Energetic_Hyena6965
Image credits: Travel Salem (not the actual photo)
Energetic did point out that if Anne had asked her, she would have woken her up. She claimed there was no evil intent whatsoever. But here we are on r/AITA.
OP did provide a little bit of context as to why and how it happened in the form of edits and responses in the comments. This was where she explained she has ADHD and hence she simply didn’t notice Anne for that whole time. Besides that, she also explained that Anne always wakes up on her own, so OP had never had to worry about it.
And folks thought OP was in the clear. Anne failed to set an alarm, and that alone makes it her fault, but the added entitlement and all of the colleagues rounding up around her made her an even bigger bad guy in this situation.
But folks online were having none of it, pointing out that OP is in the clear because people need to take responsibility for their own mistakes
Some elaborated that being pregnant doesn’t give people a “free pass” of sorts to shift responsibility to other people. In fact, she’s an adult, which makes her even more of a jerk in this case. And yet she has the audacity to call OP “selfish and careless”?
Bottom line, OP was not in any way obligated to do anything in that situation, according to people online, and the AITA community left it at that. NTA.
You can check out the post in context here, as well as check out some other similar posts that we’ve covered here, here, or here. Or here. Definitely not here, but also worth a read. But anyway, leave a comment with your thoughts, or share a story of you getting blamed for ridiculous reasons at work in the comment section below!
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Share on FacebookHonestly, I have a problem understanding why you would count on "waking yourself naturally" when you're having a nap at the office and have exactly an hour for it. What's so difficult about setting an alarm?
There is no AH in this story. The OP's job is not waking colleagues up and pregnancy brain is a thing. Maybe the pregnant lady counted on waking up before the break ended but underestimated her fatigue and did not occur to her to set an alarm at all. The boss needs to understand that women growing a human being can have all sort of days.
Load More Replies...The boss is the a**hole. Not Anna. Not the pregnant person. This is what capitalism does: pits co-workers against each other for the simple fact of having human needs in a system designed to treat humans like sentient robots. Our society looooves the unborn, but craps on pregnant women while blaming and punishing them for their own very human needs while growing another human. Put the blame where it is: on the boss and the systems that treat people like this.
Agree...one hour break, can't leave work station otherwise and you get in trouble if you do, only water bottle allowed... what about bathroom breaks? No coffee breaks?! Where is she working? Doesn't seem like a nice place!
Load More Replies...I do not think YTA. You were in your own world, doing your own thing. You are not required to pay attention to anyone when your on break.
NTA. I've taken naps on breaks at work before (if it was direly needed) and always set an alarm, never depended on the possibility I might wake up on my own. I also feel that there's a possible "darned if you do, darned if you don't" scenario here. If they HAD woken her up, I could imagine she may have been mad about that, too, like "Ugh, I had an alarm set!"
She has a phone. She can set her alarm. I nap in work and set my alarm. It's my responsibility, no one else's.
Where the heck do you work that you get in trouble with your boss if you get up and leave your desk when not on break? Do you get bathroom breaks? Your boss is the AH, but you are not totally pure as the driven snow. Co-workers with those kinds of bosses should look out for each other. When people were "looking for her" you didn't have to get up from your desk, but you could have let people know that you last saw her in the breakroom taking a nap.....
In more developed countries pregnant women are allowed to lie down, companies are required to provide an area to lie down.
I would have woken her up, being pregnant isn't easy, but I don't have ADHD.
Personally. I would be seriously concerned about someone staring while taking a nap.
Yeah, me too, inthini everyone will, but doesn't seem op was doing so.
Load More Replies...A little bit YTA. A decent friend would have woken the other up out of genuine care alone. It doesn't matter that the pregnant one did not ask the other woman to wake her up. If she has been sleeping and waking up on time for 2 weeks then the other woman should have deduced that she doesn't want to oversleep and miss returning to work.
The two women are not friends, though, just coworkers. Also, the OP explained that she has ADHD and didn't realize her coworker was still sleeping. The coworker didn't ask the OP to make sure she woke up, and had never had an issue waking up on time. How is this, in any way, the OP's problem or responsibility?
Load More Replies...NAH except for the boss. the boss should give her some slack as pregnant women are really tired sometimes. they should arrange it in a way the pregnant woman can work extra for that missed time. no need for some warnings or so. OP didnt leave her asleep on purpose although could have checked later about her when she didnt see her around. colleague possibly forgot to set an alarm. pregnant brain
A little bit yta as it's common courtesy to help your team member. I'm still struggling after 6 years to remember to water my coworkers plants when she's not in! You're not responsible for her actions, however in my team we look out for each other because we're friends as well. She often reminds me it's lunchtime and I remind her she needs to go pick the kids up from school. I'd have woken her once but then told her she needs to set an alarm if she's going to keep napping as you'll not always be around (& I'm pretty oblivious to my surroundings as well when reading a book) It's what I used to do when I used to nap at lunchtimes in a previous job.
Not ah but imo it's sad that you have hat kind of relationship with your coworker that you both dive in your own bubble during break. We do go on breaks together and chat about days 'hot topics' during the break and leave together too and it's really welcoming break to us to talk smth else but work.
some people are introverts & need time to themselves to do something they enjoy & recharge before going back to work. it isn't "sad," it's just different to what you do
Load More Replies...Honestly, I have a problem understanding why you would count on "waking yourself naturally" when you're having a nap at the office and have exactly an hour for it. What's so difficult about setting an alarm?
There is no AH in this story. The OP's job is not waking colleagues up and pregnancy brain is a thing. Maybe the pregnant lady counted on waking up before the break ended but underestimated her fatigue and did not occur to her to set an alarm at all. The boss needs to understand that women growing a human being can have all sort of days.
Load More Replies...The boss is the a**hole. Not Anna. Not the pregnant person. This is what capitalism does: pits co-workers against each other for the simple fact of having human needs in a system designed to treat humans like sentient robots. Our society looooves the unborn, but craps on pregnant women while blaming and punishing them for their own very human needs while growing another human. Put the blame where it is: on the boss and the systems that treat people like this.
Agree...one hour break, can't leave work station otherwise and you get in trouble if you do, only water bottle allowed... what about bathroom breaks? No coffee breaks?! Where is she working? Doesn't seem like a nice place!
Load More Replies...I do not think YTA. You were in your own world, doing your own thing. You are not required to pay attention to anyone when your on break.
NTA. I've taken naps on breaks at work before (if it was direly needed) and always set an alarm, never depended on the possibility I might wake up on my own. I also feel that there's a possible "darned if you do, darned if you don't" scenario here. If they HAD woken her up, I could imagine she may have been mad about that, too, like "Ugh, I had an alarm set!"
She has a phone. She can set her alarm. I nap in work and set my alarm. It's my responsibility, no one else's.
Where the heck do you work that you get in trouble with your boss if you get up and leave your desk when not on break? Do you get bathroom breaks? Your boss is the AH, but you are not totally pure as the driven snow. Co-workers with those kinds of bosses should look out for each other. When people were "looking for her" you didn't have to get up from your desk, but you could have let people know that you last saw her in the breakroom taking a nap.....
In more developed countries pregnant women are allowed to lie down, companies are required to provide an area to lie down.
I would have woken her up, being pregnant isn't easy, but I don't have ADHD.
Personally. I would be seriously concerned about someone staring while taking a nap.
Yeah, me too, inthini everyone will, but doesn't seem op was doing so.
Load More Replies...A little bit YTA. A decent friend would have woken the other up out of genuine care alone. It doesn't matter that the pregnant one did not ask the other woman to wake her up. If she has been sleeping and waking up on time for 2 weeks then the other woman should have deduced that she doesn't want to oversleep and miss returning to work.
The two women are not friends, though, just coworkers. Also, the OP explained that she has ADHD and didn't realize her coworker was still sleeping. The coworker didn't ask the OP to make sure she woke up, and had never had an issue waking up on time. How is this, in any way, the OP's problem or responsibility?
Load More Replies...NAH except for the boss. the boss should give her some slack as pregnant women are really tired sometimes. they should arrange it in a way the pregnant woman can work extra for that missed time. no need for some warnings or so. OP didnt leave her asleep on purpose although could have checked later about her when she didnt see her around. colleague possibly forgot to set an alarm. pregnant brain
A little bit yta as it's common courtesy to help your team member. I'm still struggling after 6 years to remember to water my coworkers plants when she's not in! You're not responsible for her actions, however in my team we look out for each other because we're friends as well. She often reminds me it's lunchtime and I remind her she needs to go pick the kids up from school. I'd have woken her once but then told her she needs to set an alarm if she's going to keep napping as you'll not always be around (& I'm pretty oblivious to my surroundings as well when reading a book) It's what I used to do when I used to nap at lunchtimes in a previous job.
Not ah but imo it's sad that you have hat kind of relationship with your coworker that you both dive in your own bubble during break. We do go on breaks together and chat about days 'hot topics' during the break and leave together too and it's really welcoming break to us to talk smth else but work.
some people are introverts & need time to themselves to do something they enjoy & recharge before going back to work. it isn't "sad," it's just different to what you do
Load More Replies...
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