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Pregnant Woman Asks What To Do With Husband Who Wants His Parents In The Delivery Room, Gets Best Advice Ever
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Pregnant Woman Asks What To Do With Husband Who Wants His Parents In The Delivery Room, Gets Best Advice Ever

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Childbirth is the greatest miracle of life, a truly magical moment to both, the expecting parents and the newly-born baby. However, as beautiful as the experience is, it’s also very stressful for every party involved, from the mother to the medical professionals. That’s why it’s important to create the environment where everyone can feel the least stressed and as comfortable as possible. And at times, that is not an easy task to accomplish.

Quora user Isabella Laguna recently asked people a question that caused quite a stir. The woman was pregnant with twins and her husband demanded to let his own parents be present in the delivery room, however, Isabella was not comfortable with the idea and sought advice from other users. And people came to her rescue pretty quick! Scroll down below to read their answers and tell us what you think.

More info: Quora

(Cover image credits: Sean Molin)

Childbirth is the greatest miracle of life to both, the expecting parents and the newly-born baby

Image credits: George Ruiz (not the actual photo)

At the beginning of June, Isabella Laguna asked a question concerning her pregnancy and the upcoming delivery

People quickly responded, hilariously poking at the absurdity of Laguna’s husband’s request

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Image credits: atomicfamily (not the actual photo)

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Other users, like Margaret, kept her response serious and offered some practical advice

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p-a-golden avatar
Patti
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Loved the first response from Julie. When the husband gets naked in front of her parents and takes a dump and spreads his legs for 12 hours, then his parents can come in.

kristynlnu avatar
K. LNU
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to hear the husband's reasoning for wanting his parents in the room. Birthing a child is stressful enough without having additional spectators that sound like they wouldn't respect her privacy (picturing both in-laws staring at the child crowning, etc.). I hope she gets her way!

ruthmayfly avatar
Ruth Mayfly
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's likely the parents want to be there at what is an exciting time, and are putting pressure on the husband and probably using the false equivalence of 'Well her mom is invited, we should have the same rights as her mother' or similar. False equivalence because if the mum-to-be has invited one or both of her parents it would be for her support and the husband's parents obviously are not suitable for support.

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pothayto avatar
Zanthe
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe when it's his time to labor, he can invite his parents.

cheryll_veloria avatar
Light
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or he could have invited them too when they conceived the child since he is not into privacy.

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empressmcintosh avatar
Ruth Guerra-Mc Intosh
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What type of parents would agree to invade such a private moment? I mean Seriously! Were their parents-in-law in the delivery room when they had their son? She needs the support I agree but only from the person she wishes to be in there with her (her husband). Shouldn't have to be worried about 2 extra pair of (apparently unwanted) eyes in there along with the husband nurse and doctor. Thats alot of eyes staring at one vagina!

giustizia avatar
Justi
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor girl won't get any support from such husband :(

naomiarmitage avatar
Naomi Armitage
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure where this is happening, but when I had my daughter almost 30 years ago, I was told there could only be a certain number of people in the room with me. I would think those rules still applied? And I would hope the medical staff would respect the wishes of the mother above all--if she tells them no in-laws, NO FREAKIN' IN-LAWS.

nadineducca avatar
Nadine
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Spain and over here the majority of hospitals only allow one other person in the delivery room.

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alusairalustriel avatar
Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Advices aside, I'd love to know how this ended. Call me nosey on that, but the story made me wonder about many aspects of that marriage: 1. Did they marry his parents too at the wedding day? 2. Why doesn't he respect her attitude? She should be the most important. 3. Is he grown up enough to conceive the idea of labour? If not, maybe he should watch some videos to know what situation his wife may face? All in all, I know it's an ill advice, but I'd reconsider the partnership and it's rules... Seems they are a bit off.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! I'm raising some serious eyebrows at this husband, he seems either very immature or very selfish, either way he is disregarding of his wife's feelings which is not a good sign.

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nromero93 avatar
♥Kitty♥
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about "No. I'm not comfortable with that and that should be more than a good enough reason for you."

lizanull avatar
Liza Null
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she tried that - and it fell on deaf ears and now she doesn't trust her husband to not let his parents in, while she is incapacitated. I vote for letting the doctors and nurses be the "bad guys" in this little scenario; tell THEM you DON'T WANT YOUR IN-LAWS IN THE DELIVERY ROOM! But, that your husband (and in-laws) are insistent and it's making you a wreck. Float that, and those doctors and nurses will do everything in their power to ensure that her labor and delivery are as stress-free as they can possibly make it. I bet'cha her medi seen this sort of thing before, and they'll know just what to do; later she can go, "Oh, they wouldn't let you come in?!? Aww, bummer!", and preserve her relationship with all three (if that is, in fact, what she wants to do). At any rate, those RNs are fiercely protective of mama and baby (babies, whatev) and they'll make doubly sure that mama has as positive and healthy experience as possible!

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carmenelena avatar
Carmen Elena
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe her husband would like to have his parents in the room during his prostate exam... Idk, just saying.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking the same thing lol Men rarely have an inkling of what women regularly go through until they hit 50 and get the old finger up the bum. Honestly, I never feel sorry for them, women go through much worse throughout the entirety of their lives!

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mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can she not just say "NO", is there a reason this is not an option? What capacity does he have to force her to do this?

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, it blows my mind her husband is not respecting her wishes on this. I would love to know how this ended. I do hope her marriage will turn out fine, but this is very worrying. I guess I'm lucky that in my country only one guest can be allowed in the delivery room, period.

sharronlparsons avatar
sharron lynn parsons
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband is being unreasonable, he has no right to be demanding, so inconsiderate, his priority should be his wife. If the in laws are the demanding ones, I see a rocky future !!!

martincon avatar
Connie Martin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Excellent answer from Margaret. Any OB I know would be more than willing to do this for his/her patient.

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree. All it takes for a doctor is to say something like, it's a delicate and complicated process that needs maximum concentration for the doctor, nurses and the new mother. It's all for the sake of a safe delivery and the baby's health. (No need mentioning the mother's health as well, since they only care about the baby)

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nini650 avatar
Nikol Böhmová
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't let him to delivery room either if he needs his mommy with him. This woman is going to have a hard life with mommy boy and his parents :( poor girl.

tiina0109 avatar
Amoureuse
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sincerely hope this kind of things don't happen all the time -.- I wouldn't want my own dad there, let alone my in-laws? I might be able to deal with my own mom, maybe. The husband I'd expect to be there. My vagina is not a showpiece. Childbirth is not a show.

crunchewy-watson avatar
CrunChewy McSandybutt
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My MIL insisted she be present at my child's birth because she had been there for all the other grandchildren. I told her there was no way in hell she was going to be there and I would make sure the hospital security was aware of my wishes. She hated me anyway, so what was there to lose?

mamma2molly avatar
MammaG
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder why they think they're entitled to someone else's intimate moments. I like to say "If you weren't there to make it, you can't be there for the delivery." Bye.

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mastermarkus avatar
Master Markus
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jaysus. I think I'd have divorced him. Does he understand what the birthing process entails? It's not clean or beautiful.

hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an indicator of bigger issues. I really think it is time for counseling. Whether he is being too forceful or she is not communicating her feelings things are only going to get harder without a serious look at their relationship.

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, pleading stress and using the doctor to intervene is good. But frankly, get tough now or have all your parenting decisions questioned from now till doomsday. The husband can make the request but isn't showing any kind of support for his wife's reasons to not have a sideshow in delivery. (Would you really want your father-in-law staring at your personal bits?) I know babies turn our brains to mush, but they also make us better defenders of our rights.

mamma2molly avatar
MammaG
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just the beginning of a horrible family if she doesn't lay down the law right now. It maybe too late since she already married the spineless mamma's boy.

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tg7357 avatar
Joyce Monty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She ought to kick the entire lot of them out. the parents because they have no business there to begin with, and the husband for being an insensitive jerk.

katejameson7 avatar
Kate
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I shouldn't have read this--I am furious with that man.

nothofagus001-sname avatar
Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What should she do? Simple - file immediately for divorce. This family is not going to be considerate and supportive, and the sooner she moves on the better for her and her child.

asylumseventytwo avatar
Lady A
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't happen to me, but my MIL told my BIL and his then wife to "pick her up" on their way to the hospital when SIL went into labor. Needless to say, that did NOT happen. Some folks have zero sense of personal boundaries and only think of their own wants and wishes. (in this case, the first-born grandchild) I could also mention this same MIL told BIL's second wife that she (MIL) would never love any new grandchildren as much as she loved the first one. I got me a winner!!

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To pick her up when the woman went into labour? Sounds like a bad joke. Because, you know, you totally have the time and comfort to not go straight to hospital and pick up somebody first. Maybe buy some groceries on your way there too. Oh, and let's not forget the 5 min. pause for cigarettes and toilette.

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jillvillechildcare avatar
JillVille
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I barely knew my in-laws at the time of our first child's birth, so luckily they weren't keen on being in the room. My mother, however, WAS. She kept bossing my dh around, telling him to rub my back, etc. I finally blurted out some profanities during a contraction, making my mother blush ten shades of red. I then suggested quite strongly that she might want to leave as it was only going to get worse. I was 21 at the time, so she knew it would be much worse, lol. ... However, after the birth, while still being stitched, my doctor had to run across the hall to deliver another baby and invited everyone in to see us while she was out. I'm there, spread eagle, sheet across covering a needle hanging out of my crotch...placenta still on the table between my legs... yep, that went down. 15 visitors into the room, in laws, new sibling in laws who were only 11 & 13, boys, who got to see it all.... ugh.

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
Vicky Zar
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG! I would have put my foot down bigtime. My inlaws weren't even allowed in the hospital. We don't understand each other very well...

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never saw anyone (except my husband) until 2 or 3 days after the birth. Had a ceasar so was stuck in the bed with a catheter for the first bit, too numb to know I was sitting in a puddle of lochia, then moved to another, more relaxing, hospital before I wanted any visitors. It's not side-show when your belly's been cut open either.

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klm3599 avatar
Kristy LeAnn
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've worked in the medical field and here's the thing...she doesn't even have to discuss it with the a*****e if she doesn't want to. SHE is the patient, not him and certainly not his parents. The minute she gets in that delivery room all she has to do is tell the nurses who is allowed in there and who isn't. End of story.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the suggestion about having the Doctor tell them no. If she says it, they will ignore her and come in anyway. If the Doctor says it.."Only the mother and the lamaze partner are allowed because of liability and health concerns" then they will have to comply. Also..I would impress upon my husband that this could very well end up being a c-section. I was in a lamaze class with my husband and the two women sitting next to us were Mother to be and mother-in-law. Seems mom-to-be's husband was deployed overseas. The lamaze instructor had us go around the room and state whether we were planning on a natural birth or medicated (pain relief) birth. When it got to the women next to us, Mom-in-law says.."She's having a natural birth." To which the mom-to-be said "The Hell I am!"

vonskippy avatar
Vonskippy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, what a doormat, this marriage has FAIL written all over it.

blackberrybunny avatar
Molly Block
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My thoughts: Husband is a 'mama's boy'. The in-laws will get to see the baby very very soon after the birth, so they can wait! How ballsy of them to even agree to want to be in the delivery room anyhow! How RUDE! They have no courtesy apparently. Maybe the FIL is a pervert and wants to see his DIL's yin-yang? Kick the husband out of the birthing room too! Let them ALL wait!!!!!!! At least do this if he insists one more time to let them in! Can't you just tell the hospital staff/doctors/nurses that you absolutely do NOT want them in there, no matter what?!!!! YOU are in charge here. It's YOUR big day! Threaten a lawsuit otherwise! And whatever you do, IF you change lose your mind and senses and decide to LET THEM IN, by god, Do Not Let Them In With A Camera!!!!!!!!!!! Or you might find yourself and your private parts all over FB!! And most of all-- have a wonderful, safe, and exciting 'birthday'!

lanza130 avatar
Melody Lanzatella
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Margaret Challen, you should run a "Dear Abbey" type of site!! What great advice!! I 100% agree that there will be more problems on the horizon for this woman and the husband/ in laws!! Especially with a new baby coming, she is in for parent micro managing from his parents!! But I totally agree!! She can cross that bridge when she comes to it. In life, you must choose your battles, AND when is the best time to battle!!

iheartmyfamily021805 avatar
Ashley Duke
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely not. I had a cartoon for both of my son's and I didn't want to be bothered with anyone. Each birth ended up with complications and more people would have made it worse. They can dote on their grandchildren but not in the room

in_zed avatar
Sofia Bellavista
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a sick relationship do these parents and son share if they want to participate as a group to something that only concerns you, the child, the doctors and marginally your husband??? In how many other private circumstances did they push in as a group? That's a scary family!

eizalopezd avatar
ptm45
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

his parents should have more common sense than that. unbelievable!

criminalgirl avatar
criminalgirl
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's incredible, I have read right down to the bottom of these comments, and NOT ONE person agrees with this husband! Maybe she should show him this. If she folds on this one, she will fold on other important things and end up very unhappy. He sounds like a guy who cannot just accept her answer and leave it at that.

archiemoore avatar
arjelio mas
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many in-laws did that woman's mother-in-law have in the delivery room with her?

rachel_hutton_102 avatar
Rachel Hutton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the initial responses but the last one was A+. Educated, thorough, speaking from experience (that's how it sounds anyway) and giving advice on how to keep everyone (hopefully) mollified while also letting mama have the birth the way she wants and needs. I hope it goes okay for her/

benski_2007 avatar
Benski Trenkins
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her delivery, her choice. Even if my partner doesn't want ME in there l, I would respect that. If my family insist... NOPE! just NOPE!

handmade_giasena avatar
Kelley Spartiatis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My answer was totally serious. That's exactly what I would do! What kind of man has so little respect for his wife, the mother of his child? No kind of man that I want to know that's for sure!

marika_stanway_1 avatar
Marika Stanway
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds to me like this poor mother to be is a bit under the thumb... or her first NO would've been enough for her husband. I really hope he doesn't force it in the end, or that she gets medical staff to sort it out for her. Birth of twins, there will be hell of a lot of people around already anyway. There is ABSOLUTELY no need for extra bodies being standing in the way of more important people. I would've hated nothing more than to have my inlaws in the delivery room. As much as I loved them, (may they rest in peace) it would've been horrible even imagining them in there with me. Thumbs up, lady, stand your ground and tell your husband that if he keeps insisting, he can stay away as well! xx

lizanull avatar
Liza Null
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a HUUUUGE fan of the last post (above) - and yes, I agree: Let the medical team do the talkin'! Take the stress off YOURSELF - and let the hospital's medical tell your husband (AND his overbearing parents) that no, they will NOT be in the delivery room, they will wait down the hall and they will act nice OR they can be removed from the facility entirely by hospital security. I work in a hospital - I certainly don't intend to make it sound like I've been around the world or something, but I see a lot of sh**. And I'm here to tell you: You're in luck! You're having twins at a time in our medical history, when nurses are fully empowered to SPEAK UP and ADVOCATE FOR THEIR PATIENT. NOT their patient's spouse, NOT their patient's in-laws, but their PATIENT. That be YOU, my sweet. YOU and YOUR BABIES are the patients, here. And if you've got a good nurse, and if she get even a whiff of this? She'll be ALL OVER IT. And then you won't have to worry 'bout a thing.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband should be an ally, not working against you. I find it a tad unbelievable he's pushing for something he knows makes his wife uncomfortable, his priority should be her and the baby, not his parents.

joedubya avatar
Joe Dubya
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had been close to previous mothers in law, so, had I had a baby with any previous boyfriend/husband, I’d probably allow just the MIL and my own mother. Heck, I wouldn’t even want my own dad, why would I want my FIL?

are_kpea avatar
Elegant Vandalism
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder what the outcome was? I hope she got the privacy she needed!

michellejthornton avatar
Michelle Thornton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was delivering my first child, I couldn’t of cared less if the Queen and a camera crew was in there! But, no man has the right to ‘force’ you to do anything! This is your decision, if he doesn’t like it...tough. Your body, your choice!

fadeout_again avatar
Heather
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like she is having twins. The good news is that (at least in Ontario) all vaginal twin deliveries get moved to the operating room for the actual birth because the rate of emergency operative delivery (forceps/vacuum) or c-section is pretty gosh darn high for twins. AND YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE GUEST IN AN O.R., LOL. She’ll probably just be scheduled for a c-section, if the twins share a amniotic sack or twin #2 is breech.

emykisses avatar
Emy Reynoso
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they werent there while making the baby/babies, why should they be there while they are born?? It's a NO!

whitetiger9724 avatar
Ben
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just don't understand how his Mother is okay with the idea of her and her husband being in the room with their daughter in law as well as her son during the birth. Didn't her husbands mother birth him? Doesn't she know it isn't the prettiest thing? Is she actively choosing to ignore the fact that it isn't something anyone wants their in laws there for?

chrishill avatar
Notsoswift
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something that should have been discussed well before that point.

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane Katz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Notsoswift, there's no such thing as "Too soon". On my first date, I told my husband that I wanted a bunch of teenagers in the delivery room while I crapped myself and swore like a dozen sailors and he would have to hand out condoms while soberly intoning, "I won't be needing these anymore. Anyone interested in a group discount on vasectomies?"

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grace-gaoab avatar
Grace G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes I know that you don't want it, and I know that it will be very embarrassing, and painful...

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No means no, the mother should not have to go to so much trouble to exclude people she does not want or invite to her labour or delivery, childbirth is not a spectator sport!

mgutierrez137 avatar
Mad Haberdasheress
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suppose my next question would be about the mother-in-law! I get that she's excited about her grandchildren, but, as a woman who has given birth, I can't imagine imposing myself on my daughter-in-law that way! One would hope she would have more empathy than to demand such a thing.

michaelweis avatar
Michael Weis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

B******t sensor tingles heftily... why the hell would one call birth a "miracle" and "magic"? And yes I was holding my wife's hand in the delivery room... twice in three years, and I was the one who shaved her vulva! So what?

donnarice-dr avatar
Donna Rice
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone know the outcome?! I hope she stood up for herself.

jfb-sac avatar
John Bennick
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, Margaret Challen...Are you planning on publishing the book you've written here? Sheesh!

ilze-maskalane avatar
Sarcasticow
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did they also want to see the making of the baby? What the actual f**k?

ladyleeofgreenwich avatar
Lucinda Overhoussen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why the hell would anyone want to be there. Christmas dinner will be different... Wondering how the monoanavag is going?

azziza avatar
Azziza
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't (and wouldn't) even want MY parents in there! Wonder what finally happened?

katie-trondsen avatar
KT Trondsen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she takes a stand and doesn't allow his parents. Like WTF is wrong with her husbands head?? Way too personal of an event to push this on her.

diosa69dulce avatar
Diosa Dulce
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Julie LaLima said it all... there is nothing else to be said... she is bang on and that is the only answer... I could understand if we are talking about the mothers and I mean both mothers but let those men take a chapter from yesteryear... go stand in the waiting room and wait just like the rest... this is not your wife this is your daughter and daughter in law... show some respect...

parisliau avatar
WhiteFox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahahahahha i love the first comment. but seriously. why the hell would he just casualy let his parents in like what the f**k. well in that case u accepted the challenge. have fun just being nacked too bc what can you expect

daisy_chain_hair avatar
Josie Jones
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first answer was 100% right response. That's all you need to say lol

smoky-x avatar
Rhân
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe I‘m not old enough or don‘t like babies enough but if I were the parents I wouldnt want to be there?! Also I wonder if the mother of her husband wanted other people (except her husband) with her as he born her son.

smoky-x avatar
Rhân
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also.. i don‘t get the husband. i would never want to see anyone watching my wife or something in such a vulnerable situation, a maybe beautiful one in some ways, but in a situation full of pain and intimacy

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zenithorton avatar
zenithorton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No way, my private parts to be exposed to in laws .it is crazy and stupid weird from her husband and family to ask to watch the show. Tell him no and the END OF CONVERSATION.

bee161 avatar
BeenElle
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you know she didn’t get an epidural because she has no backbone.

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Valerie Lessard
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

congrats you r****d you made your personal life and your husband a spectacle for the whole world to get involved in.

darkorigler avatar
Darko Rigler
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Simple answer: No problem, but I hope it's OK to have sex with your brother and cousin - it will stay in the family.

jorgemendez_1 avatar
Warawk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some of the "empowered" feminist answers gave me cancer

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should talk to the parents of the husband and tell them she’d prefer they aren’t present. Rather than trying to convince and go through her husband.

lynnnoyes avatar
Lynn Noyes
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I guess I would suggest a compromise if she's comfortable with it. Instead of letting the parents be there the whole time, perhaps she could have them there briefly at the beginning and end of the action or some other time when she would not feel so exposed. Alternatively, set up a special meeting ceremony after the babies are born and once Mom is feeling up to it. Celebrate the whole family, both new and old. Or come up with other options and give the in-laws the power to choose. This is completely at the woman's discretion, but it's nice to get on with your in-laws if at all possible.

p-a-golden avatar
Patti
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Loved the first response from Julie. When the husband gets naked in front of her parents and takes a dump and spreads his legs for 12 hours, then his parents can come in.

kristynlnu avatar
K. LNU
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to hear the husband's reasoning for wanting his parents in the room. Birthing a child is stressful enough without having additional spectators that sound like they wouldn't respect her privacy (picturing both in-laws staring at the child crowning, etc.). I hope she gets her way!

ruthmayfly avatar
Ruth Mayfly
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's likely the parents want to be there at what is an exciting time, and are putting pressure on the husband and probably using the false equivalence of 'Well her mom is invited, we should have the same rights as her mother' or similar. False equivalence because if the mum-to-be has invited one or both of her parents it would be for her support and the husband's parents obviously are not suitable for support.

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Zanthe
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe when it's his time to labor, he can invite his parents.

cheryll_veloria avatar
Light
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or he could have invited them too when they conceived the child since he is not into privacy.

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Ruth Guerra-Mc Intosh
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What type of parents would agree to invade such a private moment? I mean Seriously! Were their parents-in-law in the delivery room when they had their son? She needs the support I agree but only from the person she wishes to be in there with her (her husband). Shouldn't have to be worried about 2 extra pair of (apparently unwanted) eyes in there along with the husband nurse and doctor. Thats alot of eyes staring at one vagina!

giustizia avatar
Justi
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor girl won't get any support from such husband :(

naomiarmitage avatar
Naomi Armitage
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure where this is happening, but when I had my daughter almost 30 years ago, I was told there could only be a certain number of people in the room with me. I would think those rules still applied? And I would hope the medical staff would respect the wishes of the mother above all--if she tells them no in-laws, NO FREAKIN' IN-LAWS.

nadineducca avatar
Nadine
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in Spain and over here the majority of hospitals only allow one other person in the delivery room.

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Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Advices aside, I'd love to know how this ended. Call me nosey on that, but the story made me wonder about many aspects of that marriage: 1. Did they marry his parents too at the wedding day? 2. Why doesn't he respect her attitude? She should be the most important. 3. Is he grown up enough to conceive the idea of labour? If not, maybe he should watch some videos to know what situation his wife may face? All in all, I know it's an ill advice, but I'd reconsider the partnership and it's rules... Seems they are a bit off.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! I'm raising some serious eyebrows at this husband, he seems either very immature or very selfish, either way he is disregarding of his wife's feelings which is not a good sign.

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nromero93 avatar
♥Kitty♥
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about "No. I'm not comfortable with that and that should be more than a good enough reason for you."

lizanull avatar
Liza Null
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she tried that - and it fell on deaf ears and now she doesn't trust her husband to not let his parents in, while she is incapacitated. I vote for letting the doctors and nurses be the "bad guys" in this little scenario; tell THEM you DON'T WANT YOUR IN-LAWS IN THE DELIVERY ROOM! But, that your husband (and in-laws) are insistent and it's making you a wreck. Float that, and those doctors and nurses will do everything in their power to ensure that her labor and delivery are as stress-free as they can possibly make it. I bet'cha her medi seen this sort of thing before, and they'll know just what to do; later she can go, "Oh, they wouldn't let you come in?!? Aww, bummer!", and preserve her relationship with all three (if that is, in fact, what she wants to do). At any rate, those RNs are fiercely protective of mama and baby (babies, whatev) and they'll make doubly sure that mama has as positive and healthy experience as possible!

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Carmen Elena
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe her husband would like to have his parents in the room during his prostate exam... Idk, just saying.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking the same thing lol Men rarely have an inkling of what women regularly go through until they hit 50 and get the old finger up the bum. Honestly, I never feel sorry for them, women go through much worse throughout the entirety of their lives!

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anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can she not just say "NO", is there a reason this is not an option? What capacity does he have to force her to do this?

thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, it blows my mind her husband is not respecting her wishes on this. I would love to know how this ended. I do hope her marriage will turn out fine, but this is very worrying. I guess I'm lucky that in my country only one guest can be allowed in the delivery room, period.

sharronlparsons avatar
sharron lynn parsons
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The husband is being unreasonable, he has no right to be demanding, so inconsiderate, his priority should be his wife. If the in laws are the demanding ones, I see a rocky future !!!

martincon avatar
Connie Martin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Excellent answer from Margaret. Any OB I know would be more than willing to do this for his/her patient.

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree. All it takes for a doctor is to say something like, it's a delicate and complicated process that needs maximum concentration for the doctor, nurses and the new mother. It's all for the sake of a safe delivery and the baby's health. (No need mentioning the mother's health as well, since they only care about the baby)

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Nikol Böhmová
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't let him to delivery room either if he needs his mommy with him. This woman is going to have a hard life with mommy boy and his parents :( poor girl.

tiina0109 avatar
Amoureuse
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sincerely hope this kind of things don't happen all the time -.- I wouldn't want my own dad there, let alone my in-laws? I might be able to deal with my own mom, maybe. The husband I'd expect to be there. My vagina is not a showpiece. Childbirth is not a show.

crunchewy-watson avatar
CrunChewy McSandybutt
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My MIL insisted she be present at my child's birth because she had been there for all the other grandchildren. I told her there was no way in hell she was going to be there and I would make sure the hospital security was aware of my wishes. She hated me anyway, so what was there to lose?

mamma2molly avatar
MammaG
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder why they think they're entitled to someone else's intimate moments. I like to say "If you weren't there to make it, you can't be there for the delivery." Bye.

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mastermarkus avatar
Master Markus
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jaysus. I think I'd have divorced him. Does he understand what the birthing process entails? It's not clean or beautiful.

hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an indicator of bigger issues. I really think it is time for counseling. Whether he is being too forceful or she is not communicating her feelings things are only going to get harder without a serious look at their relationship.

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, pleading stress and using the doctor to intervene is good. But frankly, get tough now or have all your parenting decisions questioned from now till doomsday. The husband can make the request but isn't showing any kind of support for his wife's reasons to not have a sideshow in delivery. (Would you really want your father-in-law staring at your personal bits?) I know babies turn our brains to mush, but they also make us better defenders of our rights.

mamma2molly avatar
MammaG
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just the beginning of a horrible family if she doesn't lay down the law right now. It maybe too late since she already married the spineless mamma's boy.

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Joyce Monty
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She ought to kick the entire lot of them out. the parents because they have no business there to begin with, and the husband for being an insensitive jerk.

katejameson7 avatar
Kate
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I shouldn't have read this--I am furious with that man.

nothofagus001-sname avatar
Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What should she do? Simple - file immediately for divorce. This family is not going to be considerate and supportive, and the sooner she moves on the better for her and her child.

asylumseventytwo avatar
Lady A
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't happen to me, but my MIL told my BIL and his then wife to "pick her up" on their way to the hospital when SIL went into labor. Needless to say, that did NOT happen. Some folks have zero sense of personal boundaries and only think of their own wants and wishes. (in this case, the first-born grandchild) I could also mention this same MIL told BIL's second wife that she (MIL) would never love any new grandchildren as much as she loved the first one. I got me a winner!!

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To pick her up when the woman went into labour? Sounds like a bad joke. Because, you know, you totally have the time and comfort to not go straight to hospital and pick up somebody first. Maybe buy some groceries on your way there too. Oh, and let's not forget the 5 min. pause for cigarettes and toilette.

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JillVille
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I barely knew my in-laws at the time of our first child's birth, so luckily they weren't keen on being in the room. My mother, however, WAS. She kept bossing my dh around, telling him to rub my back, etc. I finally blurted out some profanities during a contraction, making my mother blush ten shades of red. I then suggested quite strongly that she might want to leave as it was only going to get worse. I was 21 at the time, so she knew it would be much worse, lol. ... However, after the birth, while still being stitched, my doctor had to run across the hall to deliver another baby and invited everyone in to see us while she was out. I'm there, spread eagle, sheet across covering a needle hanging out of my crotch...placenta still on the table between my legs... yep, that went down. 15 visitors into the room, in laws, new sibling in laws who were only 11 & 13, boys, who got to see it all.... ugh.

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
Vicky Zar
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG! I would have put my foot down bigtime. My inlaws weren't even allowed in the hospital. We don't understand each other very well...

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never saw anyone (except my husband) until 2 or 3 days after the birth. Had a ceasar so was stuck in the bed with a catheter for the first bit, too numb to know I was sitting in a puddle of lochia, then moved to another, more relaxing, hospital before I wanted any visitors. It's not side-show when your belly's been cut open either.

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Kristy LeAnn
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've worked in the medical field and here's the thing...she doesn't even have to discuss it with the a*****e if she doesn't want to. SHE is the patient, not him and certainly not his parents. The minute she gets in that delivery room all she has to do is tell the nurses who is allowed in there and who isn't. End of story.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the suggestion about having the Doctor tell them no. If she says it, they will ignore her and come in anyway. If the Doctor says it.."Only the mother and the lamaze partner are allowed because of liability and health concerns" then they will have to comply. Also..I would impress upon my husband that this could very well end up being a c-section. I was in a lamaze class with my husband and the two women sitting next to us were Mother to be and mother-in-law. Seems mom-to-be's husband was deployed overseas. The lamaze instructor had us go around the room and state whether we were planning on a natural birth or medicated (pain relief) birth. When it got to the women next to us, Mom-in-law says.."She's having a natural birth." To which the mom-to-be said "The Hell I am!"

vonskippy avatar
Vonskippy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, what a doormat, this marriage has FAIL written all over it.

blackberrybunny avatar
Molly Block
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My thoughts: Husband is a 'mama's boy'. The in-laws will get to see the baby very very soon after the birth, so they can wait! How ballsy of them to even agree to want to be in the delivery room anyhow! How RUDE! They have no courtesy apparently. Maybe the FIL is a pervert and wants to see his DIL's yin-yang? Kick the husband out of the birthing room too! Let them ALL wait!!!!!!! At least do this if he insists one more time to let them in! Can't you just tell the hospital staff/doctors/nurses that you absolutely do NOT want them in there, no matter what?!!!! YOU are in charge here. It's YOUR big day! Threaten a lawsuit otherwise! And whatever you do, IF you change lose your mind and senses and decide to LET THEM IN, by god, Do Not Let Them In With A Camera!!!!!!!!!!! Or you might find yourself and your private parts all over FB!! And most of all-- have a wonderful, safe, and exciting 'birthday'!

lanza130 avatar
Melody Lanzatella
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Margaret Challen, you should run a "Dear Abbey" type of site!! What great advice!! I 100% agree that there will be more problems on the horizon for this woman and the husband/ in laws!! Especially with a new baby coming, she is in for parent micro managing from his parents!! But I totally agree!! She can cross that bridge when she comes to it. In life, you must choose your battles, AND when is the best time to battle!!

iheartmyfamily021805 avatar
Ashley Duke
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely not. I had a cartoon for both of my son's and I didn't want to be bothered with anyone. Each birth ended up with complications and more people would have made it worse. They can dote on their grandchildren but not in the room

in_zed avatar
Sofia Bellavista
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a sick relationship do these parents and son share if they want to participate as a group to something that only concerns you, the child, the doctors and marginally your husband??? In how many other private circumstances did they push in as a group? That's a scary family!

eizalopezd avatar
ptm45
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

his parents should have more common sense than that. unbelievable!

criminalgirl avatar
criminalgirl
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's incredible, I have read right down to the bottom of these comments, and NOT ONE person agrees with this husband! Maybe she should show him this. If she folds on this one, she will fold on other important things and end up very unhappy. He sounds like a guy who cannot just accept her answer and leave it at that.

archiemoore avatar
arjelio mas
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many in-laws did that woman's mother-in-law have in the delivery room with her?

rachel_hutton_102 avatar
Rachel Hutton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the initial responses but the last one was A+. Educated, thorough, speaking from experience (that's how it sounds anyway) and giving advice on how to keep everyone (hopefully) mollified while also letting mama have the birth the way she wants and needs. I hope it goes okay for her/

benski_2007 avatar
Benski Trenkins
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her delivery, her choice. Even if my partner doesn't want ME in there l, I would respect that. If my family insist... NOPE! just NOPE!

handmade_giasena avatar
Kelley Spartiatis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My answer was totally serious. That's exactly what I would do! What kind of man has so little respect for his wife, the mother of his child? No kind of man that I want to know that's for sure!

marika_stanway_1 avatar
Marika Stanway
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds to me like this poor mother to be is a bit under the thumb... or her first NO would've been enough for her husband. I really hope he doesn't force it in the end, or that she gets medical staff to sort it out for her. Birth of twins, there will be hell of a lot of people around already anyway. There is ABSOLUTELY no need for extra bodies being standing in the way of more important people. I would've hated nothing more than to have my inlaws in the delivery room. As much as I loved them, (may they rest in peace) it would've been horrible even imagining them in there with me. Thumbs up, lady, stand your ground and tell your husband that if he keeps insisting, he can stay away as well! xx

lizanull avatar
Liza Null
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a HUUUUGE fan of the last post (above) - and yes, I agree: Let the medical team do the talkin'! Take the stress off YOURSELF - and let the hospital's medical tell your husband (AND his overbearing parents) that no, they will NOT be in the delivery room, they will wait down the hall and they will act nice OR they can be removed from the facility entirely by hospital security. I work in a hospital - I certainly don't intend to make it sound like I've been around the world or something, but I see a lot of sh**. And I'm here to tell you: You're in luck! You're having twins at a time in our medical history, when nurses are fully empowered to SPEAK UP and ADVOCATE FOR THEIR PATIENT. NOT their patient's spouse, NOT their patient's in-laws, but their PATIENT. That be YOU, my sweet. YOU and YOUR BABIES are the patients, here. And if you've got a good nurse, and if she get even a whiff of this? She'll be ALL OVER IT. And then you won't have to worry 'bout a thing.

rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your husband should be an ally, not working against you. I find it a tad unbelievable he's pushing for something he knows makes his wife uncomfortable, his priority should be her and the baby, not his parents.

joedubya avatar
Joe Dubya
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had been close to previous mothers in law, so, had I had a baby with any previous boyfriend/husband, I’d probably allow just the MIL and my own mother. Heck, I wouldn’t even want my own dad, why would I want my FIL?

are_kpea avatar
Elegant Vandalism
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder what the outcome was? I hope she got the privacy she needed!

michellejthornton avatar
Michelle Thornton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was delivering my first child, I couldn’t of cared less if the Queen and a camera crew was in there! But, no man has the right to ‘force’ you to do anything! This is your decision, if he doesn’t like it...tough. Your body, your choice!

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Heather
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like she is having twins. The good news is that (at least in Ontario) all vaginal twin deliveries get moved to the operating room for the actual birth because the rate of emergency operative delivery (forceps/vacuum) or c-section is pretty gosh darn high for twins. AND YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE GUEST IN AN O.R., LOL. She’ll probably just be scheduled for a c-section, if the twins share a amniotic sack or twin #2 is breech.

emykisses avatar
Emy Reynoso
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they werent there while making the baby/babies, why should they be there while they are born?? It's a NO!

whitetiger9724 avatar
Ben
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just don't understand how his Mother is okay with the idea of her and her husband being in the room with their daughter in law as well as her son during the birth. Didn't her husbands mother birth him? Doesn't she know it isn't the prettiest thing? Is she actively choosing to ignore the fact that it isn't something anyone wants their in laws there for?

chrishill avatar
Notsoswift
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Something that should have been discussed well before that point.

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane Katz
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Notsoswift, there's no such thing as "Too soon". On my first date, I told my husband that I wanted a bunch of teenagers in the delivery room while I crapped myself and swore like a dozen sailors and he would have to hand out condoms while soberly intoning, "I won't be needing these anymore. Anyone interested in a group discount on vasectomies?"

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grace-gaoab avatar
Grace G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes I know that you don't want it, and I know that it will be very embarrassing, and painful...

ealizabethane avatar
Lisa Shaw
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No means no, the mother should not have to go to so much trouble to exclude people she does not want or invite to her labour or delivery, childbirth is not a spectator sport!

mgutierrez137 avatar
Mad Haberdasheress
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suppose my next question would be about the mother-in-law! I get that she's excited about her grandchildren, but, as a woman who has given birth, I can't imagine imposing myself on my daughter-in-law that way! One would hope she would have more empathy than to demand such a thing.

michaelweis avatar
Michael Weis
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

B******t sensor tingles heftily... why the hell would one call birth a "miracle" and "magic"? And yes I was holding my wife's hand in the delivery room... twice in three years, and I was the one who shaved her vulva! So what?

donnarice-dr avatar
Donna Rice
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anyone know the outcome?! I hope she stood up for herself.

jfb-sac avatar
John Bennick
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, Margaret Challen...Are you planning on publishing the book you've written here? Sheesh!

ilze-maskalane avatar
Sarcasticow
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did they also want to see the making of the baby? What the actual f**k?

ladyleeofgreenwich avatar
Lucinda Overhoussen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why the hell would anyone want to be there. Christmas dinner will be different... Wondering how the monoanavag is going?

azziza avatar
Azziza
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't (and wouldn't) even want MY parents in there! Wonder what finally happened?

katie-trondsen avatar
KT Trondsen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she takes a stand and doesn't allow his parents. Like WTF is wrong with her husbands head?? Way too personal of an event to push this on her.

diosa69dulce avatar
Diosa Dulce
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Julie LaLima said it all... there is nothing else to be said... she is bang on and that is the only answer... I could understand if we are talking about the mothers and I mean both mothers but let those men take a chapter from yesteryear... go stand in the waiting room and wait just like the rest... this is not your wife this is your daughter and daughter in law... show some respect...

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WhiteFox
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahahahahha i love the first comment. but seriously. why the hell would he just casualy let his parents in like what the f**k. well in that case u accepted the challenge. have fun just being nacked too bc what can you expect

daisy_chain_hair avatar
Josie Jones
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first answer was 100% right response. That's all you need to say lol

smoky-x avatar
Rhân
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe I‘m not old enough or don‘t like babies enough but if I were the parents I wouldnt want to be there?! Also I wonder if the mother of her husband wanted other people (except her husband) with her as he born her son.

smoky-x avatar
Rhân
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also.. i don‘t get the husband. i would never want to see anyone watching my wife or something in such a vulnerable situation, a maybe beautiful one in some ways, but in a situation full of pain and intimacy

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zenithorton avatar
zenithorton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No way, my private parts to be exposed to in laws .it is crazy and stupid weird from her husband and family to ask to watch the show. Tell him no and the END OF CONVERSATION.

bee161 avatar
BeenElle
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you know she didn’t get an epidural because she has no backbone.

i2027594 avatar
Valerie Lessard
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

congrats you r****d you made your personal life and your husband a spectacle for the whole world to get involved in.

darkorigler avatar
Darko Rigler
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Simple answer: No problem, but I hope it's OK to have sex with your brother and cousin - it will stay in the family.

jorgemendez_1 avatar
Warawk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some of the "empowered" feminist answers gave me cancer

mintyminameow avatar
Meowton Mewsk
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should talk to the parents of the husband and tell them she’d prefer they aren’t present. Rather than trying to convince and go through her husband.

lynnnoyes avatar
Lynn Noyes
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I guess I would suggest a compromise if she's comfortable with it. Instead of letting the parents be there the whole time, perhaps she could have them there briefly at the beginning and end of the action or some other time when she would not feel so exposed. Alternatively, set up a special meeting ceremony after the babies are born and once Mom is feeling up to it. Celebrate the whole family, both new and old. Or come up with other options and give the in-laws the power to choose. This is completely at the woman's discretion, but it's nice to get on with your in-laws if at all possible.

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