“AITA For Allowing My Wife To Extend Her Maternity Leave At My Company But Not One Of My Other Employees?”
Hypocrisy is very hard to argue for—usually when someone ends up pulling a two-face, it’s considered selfish and egotistic, and on rare occasions considered genuinely foolish, cause they couldn’t help it. That’s it.
But, let’s be fair, it’s still possible to be the devil’s advocate and be redeemed in cases of hypocrisy because the situation, intentions, and other factors might allow for it. So there’s always hope.
And one Reddit user was hoping it would be the case for him too, so he turned to the internet to find out if he was wrong to allow his wife to extend her maternity leave at his private company, whilst not giving the same treatment to another employee.
More Info: Reddit
In some places, maternity leave is so short (or non-existent) that it causes quite a few problems for moms
Image credits: Erin Warren (not the actual photo)
So, now-suspended Reddit user u/Throwawaypresoptc recently turned to the r/AmITheA-Hole community to find out if he’s really that bad for effectively giving preferential treatment to his wife, all the while not doing so with another one of his employees in the same situation.
The story goes that OP owns a company where he works together with his wife and other people. His wife has an executive position there, and some time ago gave birth to their son.
And this CEO got in trouble with maternity leave, giving his wife more than they’re entitled to, while not enough for another employee
Image credits: Throwawaypresoptc
The two agreed that three months ought to be enough maternity leave. But when the time came to return to work, the wife explained she needed more time and OP didn’t have the heart to say no, more so since she also joined a mom-oriented life-coaching program, started volunteering for underprivileged kids and whatnot.
So, a year managed to pass, and people started asking questions about when his wife was coming back. Little did they know, she was planning surgery and would only then come back to work. So, extra time was piling on extra time piling on extra time.
Image credits: Throwawaypresoptc
At the same moment, another employee, whom OP introduced as Mary, had gone on maternity leave. But, unlike the case with the wife, she had been on board for less than a year, and was only eligible for 6 weeks of maternity leave, and nothing more.
The problem arose when she requested more time—begged for another week—and it was denied. Needless to say, she was furious. On top of all of the stress and fatigue of having to raise a child, she also had to deal with the hypocrisy that had just happened.
Image credits: Throwawaypresoptc
The reason here was that his wife had someone to take her place, while Mary did not, and since she was key to the customer services team, she was asked to continue her work with a prospect of discussing time off down the line.
It wasn’t until OP told his sister about the whole incident that he had realized what he had done, prompting the now-viral post on r/AITA.
The AITA community did not like it one bit, and slammed the boss for the preferential treatment
It didn’t take long for people to point out everything that was wrong with this situation, labeling OP the a-hole in the process. Besides the blatant professional discrimination and preferential treatment, people also pointed out that Mary was pregnant for many months and he could have easily found a temporary substitute in her stead.
Others noted that Mary had asked for extra weeks, while his wife had a full year and then some, only adding to how colossal the issue is. And it’s the employer’s headache to deal with under-staffing and whatnot. And also, OP claimed he had 4 kids, yet he’s completely unsympathetic to the situation.
The reasons went on and on, leading to the verdict that he is in fact wrong here. The post in turn got over 13,000 upvotes (with over 80% being positive), and a handful of Reddit awards that show just how unhappy people are with the situation.
You can check out the whole post in context, as well as all of the comments, here. And you can check out other similar posts we’ve covered here. But before you go reading another one of our articles, why not share your thoughts and ideas on OP’s predicament in the comment section below!
So the wife can be off for a year and other people can do her job. Sounds like she only has the position because her husband is the owner.
I wonder if she was doing much work anyway, given they don't seem to be missing her contribution like they did with "Mary."
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Sounds to me like he doesn't need an employee in his wife's position at all... eliminate the position and hire someone new in Mary's understaffed department. Problem solved!
That would require more intelligence and empathy on his part.
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You’re a piece of s**t. It’s your fault that the company is understaffed and trying to make excuses for being a piece of s**t.
"This department in the company I started and own is understaffed". Sounds like a "you" problem. This guy is not just an asshole, he's bad at his job, too.
USA is a weird place to anyone, who is living in a really 1st world country.
US maternity leave is a joke, but the bigger joke is how we shame women for not having children while simultaneously punishing them for it.
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Understaffed. Right. So Mary came in one Monday and said by the way I'm having a baby on Thursday.
Jesus... In Hungary we got 3 YEARS after the birth of the child (okay, we got ridiculously low help from the government), so shame on tha american system. And also shame on the CEO, if the doesn't have any idea how hard is the first time with a newborn after 4 kids, he is not only a bad boss, he is also a bad father.
In the Netherlands, 6 weeks before giving birth (before the due date) and 10 weeks after. We're the laughing stock of Europe and even we get almost triple this poor woman is getting.
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Anyone else pick up that one of the reasons OP cites for allowing wife to extend her leave was so she could have elective cosmetic surgery?
Agreed. The extra time off is not for maternity leave, slightly separated abs is common after birth and most of us don't get cosmetic surgery for it.
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preferential treatment, understaffing (why is it understaffed), and most likely a whole host of other problems. You are the reason you are understaffed, not Mary who had 5 weeks to recover. If it is such a problem, go hire more people. Don't discriminate based on their relation to you like you did with your wife who got over 8 times what Mary did.
Wow! Nepotism??? If you run a company and you give your wife a position she should be working the hardest setting a good example for other to feel motivated. I hope your employees leave for better jobs and opportunities. I truly wish you would have disclosed your company's name so we could boycott it until it dissolves to the point where your wife has to choose between a extra hours to feed child or risk being mentally unstable mother. You're an asshole on so many levels it's ridiculous. You could have easily replaced your wives position with someone more dedicated for job, and since you could afford it leave wifey to be stay at home mom (nothing wrong with it, if you can afford it). But to keep her on books, and declining leave for your lowest paid worker for a baby. F... You. I hope your business crumbles!!! Also you said you have daughters, imagine them being forced to work by a boss like you 5 weeks after birth. Disgusting!!!
Okay don't have kids but would like to know is it possible for a Mum to recover from giving birth so quickly? I imagine all sorts of stuff would have been going on with your body and it would take substantial time to recover. Also I hope Mary's sues, wins loads of money and this guy is left in a minimum wage job.
For a vast majority of women it is not possible to recover that fast, I wasn't even allowed to drive for 6 weeks after birth. Plus at 6 weeks my daughter was still waking 4-6 times a night and needed constant attention during the day so most mothers can't even rest properly to try and recover.
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Not an a$$hole. An a$$hole works hard and is important to the body...you're s**t. The waste an asshole expels because it's toxic $ useless
The real asshole here is the legal system allowing abuse like that. In Germany, 6 weeks prior and 8 weeks after birth are mandatory off work for a mother. After that, she can have up to 3 years of maternity leave without needing her company's approvement. For up to 12 months of that time, she can get about 60 % of her monthly income paid for by the state (also other models are possible). Also it is illegal to fire her in that time and afterwards she must be taken back into a similar position as she had before.
I hope Mary sues him into homelessness and his child is taken from him. Customer service person is more important to your organization than your wife who is an executive , does Mary make more than your wife as well ? likely not.
OK, so this is a great example of the difference between being a CEO with integrity and make decisions in the best interest of the organization (and wielding the money that it is worth) and being a bigoted idiot that just thinks he can do whatever he likes :) The dude being the latter and the wife being a priviliged little bleep.
If you can afford to pay your wife for not working for over a year, then you can afford to hire another salesperson so that you are not short-staffed and your actually-working employees can have some reasonable time off. The fact that you have so much compassion for your wife and are absolutely oblivious to the genuine struggles of your working employees is bordering on sociopathy. How awful that you have that power over other people's lives.
This guy's not an asshole, he's an absolute piece of s**t. I hope his business caves in on itself. What an entitled prick. And I hope Mary walks out and leaves him high and dry without her. Dickbag.
Maybe you should stop being the asshole in this, hire a temp person and give Mary an extra 6 weeks off to make it right with karma. Your wife sounds like she doesnt want to go back to work because she wants to stay at home with the baby. Why don’t you give her the chance to get back whenever she wants but in the mean time hire extra help to make it possible for Mary to have her time with her baby too. Or give her an opportunity to work from home for a while. There’s many things that can be done here, you need to treat everyone equally in a business or people wont respect you.
What I'm hearing: Your wife is replaceable but Mary isn't, so Mary gets dry f**ked after giving birth but your wife gets a paid year off! So yeah, YTA and a massive one at that.
Fire your wife. Use that money to employ people who actually are needed. My god, what a c*nt
YTA. If it wasn't your wife, you'd definitely not have made exceptions for her. I get that Mary hasn't worked at the company that long but you had months to find cover (assuming you knew she was pregnant) and it would have been a nice gesture to give ample leave. What makes you think Mary wants to miss any of those formative moments you let your wife stay home for?
I didn’t read this article but just off the title I would say “YES SIR!! YOU ARE THE A$$!!” 5 weeks is not enough time to be with the baby !
If he's been allowing his wife to draw a salary this whole time, I'm wondering if he isn't dipping a toe into murky embezzlement areas.
dang it! i went to reddit to see if op responded but the account was suspended.
The real issue here, aside from the obvious fact that this guy and his wife are utter aholes, is the lack of real maternity leave for employees. We get 6 months off here in Ireland. And if your job doesn't pay you there is a maternity benefit available to you. You can also take another 6 months, or part of it, at your own expense. It's laughable and tragic that women are forced back to work after a few weeks.
Yeah, I hate to say it, but that would make you an a*****e. In fact I imagine you could be sued for it. And your wife will return to a very hostile work environment. Not a good idea all the way around.
On what planet can you justify your actions? You have given obvious preferential treatment to your wife, who apparently is not a much needed "employee" as her position was not staffed for a year - whereas Mary's department suffered because of her absence. I seriously hope she reports you to the Dept. of Labor & Industries.
YTA. You should've been more understanding as your wife had just gone through the same situation, literally. Also, it sounds like you and your wife not fully equipped and experienced enough to run a business if this is how you treat your employees. You both are too selfish!
Why the f**k did this asshat even post this? He KNEW he was the asshole here; there is no way he could not have known this (even if he was in deep denial, here). I mean, did he come on reddit just to flex his colossal cuntiness? Like, f**k this guy. In the face. With a running chainsaw.
This guy is such a jerk. He is giving his wife preferential treatment, but sorry Mary. You must abide by the rules, but my wife, well... she married the owner so she has special privileges.
Totally unfair! Sleep with the owner and get away with anything while others work their behinds off to cover for her? If they feel 3 months isn't enough, then every new parent should be given the same amount of time. And a month off BEFORE a planned c-section?? Wow. Must be nice to be sleeping with the CEO.
That is preferential treatment. Of course it it. So you want your wife home with the infant but not another human? Ouch. Glad we get a year mat/parental leave in Canada
So the wife is a ghost employee, just here to get the extra money. I'm pretty sure she can report him
The American family leave system is the b******e which, in turn, creates an employer that's a b******e. A leading developed country in the world and it can't give it's parents proper maternity leave? Gross. Simply gross. (ftr, I'm Canadian and this is something we have)
Yes, you ARE a real piece of $hit. Did you really think that people would not think you are an jerk for treating your wife like a god damn Queen, but Mary has to work after FIVE WEEKS AFTER BIRTH....!! You are a real SHAME for human kind.
You really are an asshole and your wife is taking advantage of the fact it's your company. She is NOT entitled to come back to work when it suits her!!! A tummy tuck is NOT emergency surgery it's a surgery asked for. I hope Mary taken you to the cleaners.
One person leaving is tough on the rest of them. So she's inconsiderate for getting pregnant and not thinking of the team. Jesus if like you say anyone can do her job then just move someone over to cover her from a different area as temp. She shouldn't be punished I mean what if she had a c section or complications. Nevermind your wife is getting more time off for a freaking tummy tuck and still classing it as maternity. What is this s**t.
YTA. You gave your wife undue special treatment, and refused another human being the same - or ANY - courtesy. You even put down this woman's worth as a human and employee by stating your wife's job can be done by other people so she's free to take time off, but because a certain department is understaffed poor Mary is chained to her desk like a lower level slave? Do you HEAR your entitled-as* self? You owe Mary 6months paid maternity leave, a written apology, and the offer of company paid counselling services for the bullshi* you just put her through. You are everything that's wrong with the modern work environment - a toxicas* selfish boss.
YTA-If the Customer Service Dept was understaffed, you should hire enough staff so the employee could take the time off requested. The fact that you are even asking us if YTA, makes me think you are a selfish boss. I wonder how the labor board in your area would react. Treatment should be the same for family and employees. You are soooo incredibly the AH!
The fact that OP even had to ask this shows not only that HTA but he's an oblivious out-of-touch monster.
The saddest part in all of this is that he's asking for an opinion regarding his actions, but based on his actions, there's very little doubt that he even cares about the opinion he requested ... I feel like he just wants to find that one person that takes his side and that one opinion would vindicate him (in his mind) ...
My favorite part is where he states that his wife's duties can be taken up by others.....Why do I think that has always been the case?
This guy may not be breaking any labor laws because US labor laws suck and it's his business, but he's still definitely the AH. I love how his excuse for not giving Mary a few more weeks is that it will make her department understaffed and strained. With all due respect, as the company owner it's your job to manage it and make sure your teams are staffed properly. Icing on the cake is how he describes his wife's position. Ah yes, an "executive" who can be gone for over a year, and it apparently doesn't make much of a difference or strain the staff. Sounds like her job is just window dressing for nepotism. Have your wife fill in for Mary if what Mary does is so important; sounds like that would actually be a good use of resources.
Forget about the wife, this guys an asshole period. Not only is he obviously aware how important spending time with a new child is (since his wife asked for that reason) but post birth is some of the hardest time for mothers. The mental health issues alone can be debilitating. Just over a month to recover is monstrous, and she was only asking for an extra week. He has 4 children, he must have seen what women go through post birth, but went "sorry, i know youre physically in pain, your hormones are raging, your body looks like a mess and youre probably mentally exhausted and potentially dissociating because your life has a mew person in it reliant on you, but we really need you to put your job first while youre a mess"
I definitely think this is a YTA, but I also don't think he violated any labor laws. It was just a jerk thing to do.
I may have an unpopular position but as a small business owner, I suspect that this comes down to how bad the US safety net is. Based on the information in this story I suspect that OP's wife is a part-owner of the company and few people yell and scream when an owner takes a back seat due to health or other reasons, nor would they yell if they became more active at a later date. Mary, on the other hand, is an employee. While OP isn't ever required to provide insurance, retirement, or any other benefit to his wife because of her part ownership/being a family member employee, he is required to do so for Mary. According to US law, the 6 weeks of leave was purely altruistic and the owner paid to maintain Mary's benefits purely out of the goodness of his heart. Knowing the legality of what is going on doesn't make me like what happened in this situation...but for me it is a symptom of just how broken the US laws/economy are vs the fault of an individual business owner.
YTA x 1. million. In the Nordic countries We have a year! Guess Why??? Because the baby needs its parents. HELP MARY NOW…..
My question is: how did he write that all out then not realize just how much of an AH he is and completely delete the whole thing and immediately go apologize to Mary.
I doubt this is real? Time off to be with baby (understandable if all employees get that option) then a lot of time off for a tummy tuck? (Not that understandable). And then even question if he was the ah for not giving another employee more than 6 WEEKS? 6 weeks is practically a newborn and you are still in diapers yourself too. I would physically be hurting if I had to leave my newborn baby and on top of that FURIOUS if another employee got over a year with no problem.
"Now-suspended Reddit user..." I need details! Do assholes get kicked off the island or did somebowy not like da fweedback?
I feel like he was hoping they'd all say no it's perfectly understandable you're screwing over everyone except the person you're screwing. Any one would favour their wife like that. And what he got was well the only reason your wife deserves preferential treatment is she has to put up with your asshole self now stop being such a terrible boss. And then threw a tantrum like the toddler he clearly is.
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In my country... you can litteraly been out of job for several YEARS! On Maternity leave
This can't possibly be real! I refuse to believe someone could be so clueless and entitled.
lol is there an HR department? Sounds like people who are sleeping with the CEO get special treatment.
Your company is destined to fail. Either you're going to fail because of your special treatment to your wife, or you're going to fail because "Mary", as she should and deserves to, will file a lawsuit or complaint.
At my job our maternity leave is based on the amount of sick time you have, but you can't take more than 6 weeks without having your pay cut.
Beyond ahole... jt is not Mary's problem that a company is understaffed. In the US she'd have a valid court case
In the US Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) protections only kick in if you work for a company with a minimum number of employees and you’ve been there at least one year if you can’t check both of those boxes, you’re not entitled to FMLA leave. So he’s acting unethically but not illegally in denying the leave.
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All of you are bashing him but... Would it be different if was in different company? Ok, he gave his wife something more, but otherwise he follows the law. Every other company would do the same - you have XXX weeks, after that you are back at work. If you want to stay home an dtake care of your kid, you quit. The US system is YTA, not this man. My country has 24 months maternity leave... First year is full paid, second year is the minimum salary. So, not the boss, the system.
It's not the fact that he treats his wife special, it's the fact that they have only 6 weeks of maternity leave.
But, is the wife an owner? Because at the beginning of the post, he said that he owns a company and that his wife has a high position there. Am I missing something?
Load More Replies... So the wife can be off for a year and other people can do her job. Sounds like she only has the position because her husband is the owner.
I wonder if she was doing much work anyway, given they don't seem to be missing her contribution like they did with "Mary."
Load More Replies... Sounds to me like he doesn't need an employee in his wife's position at all... eliminate the position and hire someone new in Mary's understaffed department. Problem solved!
That would require more intelligence and empathy on his part.
Load More Replies... You’re a piece of s**t. It’s your fault that the company is understaffed and trying to make excuses for being a piece of s**t.
"This department in the company I started and own is understaffed". Sounds like a "you" problem. This guy is not just an asshole, he's bad at his job, too.
USA is a weird place to anyone, who is living in a really 1st world country.
US maternity leave is a joke, but the bigger joke is how we shame women for not having children while simultaneously punishing them for it.
Load More Replies... Understaffed. Right. So Mary came in one Monday and said by the way I'm having a baby on Thursday.
Jesus... In Hungary we got 3 YEARS after the birth of the child (okay, we got ridiculously low help from the government), so shame on tha american system. And also shame on the CEO, if the doesn't have any idea how hard is the first time with a newborn after 4 kids, he is not only a bad boss, he is also a bad father.
In the Netherlands, 6 weeks before giving birth (before the due date) and 10 weeks after. We're the laughing stock of Europe and even we get almost triple this poor woman is getting.
Load More Replies... Anyone else pick up that one of the reasons OP cites for allowing wife to extend her leave was so she could have elective cosmetic surgery?
Agreed. The extra time off is not for maternity leave, slightly separated abs is common after birth and most of us don't get cosmetic surgery for it.
Load More Replies... preferential treatment, understaffing (why is it understaffed), and most likely a whole host of other problems. You are the reason you are understaffed, not Mary who had 5 weeks to recover. If it is such a problem, go hire more people. Don't discriminate based on their relation to you like you did with your wife who got over 8 times what Mary did.
Wow! Nepotism??? If you run a company and you give your wife a position she should be working the hardest setting a good example for other to feel motivated. I hope your employees leave for better jobs and opportunities. I truly wish you would have disclosed your company's name so we could boycott it until it dissolves to the point where your wife has to choose between a extra hours to feed child or risk being mentally unstable mother. You're an asshole on so many levels it's ridiculous. You could have easily replaced your wives position with someone more dedicated for job, and since you could afford it leave wifey to be stay at home mom (nothing wrong with it, if you can afford it). But to keep her on books, and declining leave for your lowest paid worker for a baby. F... You. I hope your business crumbles!!! Also you said you have daughters, imagine them being forced to work by a boss like you 5 weeks after birth. Disgusting!!!
Okay don't have kids but would like to know is it possible for a Mum to recover from giving birth so quickly? I imagine all sorts of stuff would have been going on with your body and it would take substantial time to recover. Also I hope Mary's sues, wins loads of money and this guy is left in a minimum wage job.
For a vast majority of women it is not possible to recover that fast, I wasn't even allowed to drive for 6 weeks after birth. Plus at 6 weeks my daughter was still waking 4-6 times a night and needed constant attention during the day so most mothers can't even rest properly to try and recover.
Load More Replies... Not an a$$hole. An a$$hole works hard and is important to the body...you're s**t. The waste an asshole expels because it's toxic $ useless
The real asshole here is the legal system allowing abuse like that. In Germany, 6 weeks prior and 8 weeks after birth are mandatory off work for a mother. After that, she can have up to 3 years of maternity leave without needing her company's approvement. For up to 12 months of that time, she can get about 60 % of her monthly income paid for by the state (also other models are possible). Also it is illegal to fire her in that time and afterwards she must be taken back into a similar position as she had before.
I hope Mary sues him into homelessness and his child is taken from him. Customer service person is more important to your organization than your wife who is an executive , does Mary make more than your wife as well ? likely not.
OK, so this is a great example of the difference between being a CEO with integrity and make decisions in the best interest of the organization (and wielding the money that it is worth) and being a bigoted idiot that just thinks he can do whatever he likes :) The dude being the latter and the wife being a priviliged little bleep.
If you can afford to pay your wife for not working for over a year, then you can afford to hire another salesperson so that you are not short-staffed and your actually-working employees can have some reasonable time off. The fact that you have so much compassion for your wife and are absolutely oblivious to the genuine struggles of your working employees is bordering on sociopathy. How awful that you have that power over other people's lives.
This guy's not an asshole, he's an absolute piece of s**t. I hope his business caves in on itself. What an entitled prick. And I hope Mary walks out and leaves him high and dry without her. Dickbag.
Maybe you should stop being the asshole in this, hire a temp person and give Mary an extra 6 weeks off to make it right with karma. Your wife sounds like she doesnt want to go back to work because she wants to stay at home with the baby. Why don’t you give her the chance to get back whenever she wants but in the mean time hire extra help to make it possible for Mary to have her time with her baby too. Or give her an opportunity to work from home for a while. There’s many things that can be done here, you need to treat everyone equally in a business or people wont respect you.
What I'm hearing: Your wife is replaceable but Mary isn't, so Mary gets dry f**ked after giving birth but your wife gets a paid year off! So yeah, YTA and a massive one at that.
Fire your wife. Use that money to employ people who actually are needed. My god, what a c*nt
YTA. If it wasn't your wife, you'd definitely not have made exceptions for her. I get that Mary hasn't worked at the company that long but you had months to find cover (assuming you knew she was pregnant) and it would have been a nice gesture to give ample leave. What makes you think Mary wants to miss any of those formative moments you let your wife stay home for?
I didn’t read this article but just off the title I would say “YES SIR!! YOU ARE THE A$$!!” 5 weeks is not enough time to be with the baby !
If he's been allowing his wife to draw a salary this whole time, I'm wondering if he isn't dipping a toe into murky embezzlement areas.
dang it! i went to reddit to see if op responded but the account was suspended.
The real issue here, aside from the obvious fact that this guy and his wife are utter aholes, is the lack of real maternity leave for employees. We get 6 months off here in Ireland. And if your job doesn't pay you there is a maternity benefit available to you. You can also take another 6 months, or part of it, at your own expense. It's laughable and tragic that women are forced back to work after a few weeks.
Yeah, I hate to say it, but that would make you an a*****e. In fact I imagine you could be sued for it. And your wife will return to a very hostile work environment. Not a good idea all the way around.
On what planet can you justify your actions? You have given obvious preferential treatment to your wife, who apparently is not a much needed "employee" as her position was not staffed for a year - whereas Mary's department suffered because of her absence. I seriously hope she reports you to the Dept. of Labor & Industries.
YTA. You should've been more understanding as your wife had just gone through the same situation, literally. Also, it sounds like you and your wife not fully equipped and experienced enough to run a business if this is how you treat your employees. You both are too selfish!
Why the f**k did this asshat even post this? He KNEW he was the asshole here; there is no way he could not have known this (even if he was in deep denial, here). I mean, did he come on reddit just to flex his colossal cuntiness? Like, f**k this guy. In the face. With a running chainsaw.
This guy is such a jerk. He is giving his wife preferential treatment, but sorry Mary. You must abide by the rules, but my wife, well... she married the owner so she has special privileges.
Totally unfair! Sleep with the owner and get away with anything while others work their behinds off to cover for her? If they feel 3 months isn't enough, then every new parent should be given the same amount of time. And a month off BEFORE a planned c-section?? Wow. Must be nice to be sleeping with the CEO.
That is preferential treatment. Of course it it. So you want your wife home with the infant but not another human? Ouch. Glad we get a year mat/parental leave in Canada
So the wife is a ghost employee, just here to get the extra money. I'm pretty sure she can report him
The American family leave system is the b******e which, in turn, creates an employer that's a b******e. A leading developed country in the world and it can't give it's parents proper maternity leave? Gross. Simply gross. (ftr, I'm Canadian and this is something we have)
Yes, you ARE a real piece of $hit. Did you really think that people would not think you are an jerk for treating your wife like a god damn Queen, but Mary has to work after FIVE WEEKS AFTER BIRTH....!! You are a real SHAME for human kind.
You really are an asshole and your wife is taking advantage of the fact it's your company. She is NOT entitled to come back to work when it suits her!!! A tummy tuck is NOT emergency surgery it's a surgery asked for. I hope Mary taken you to the cleaners.
One person leaving is tough on the rest of them. So she's inconsiderate for getting pregnant and not thinking of the team. Jesus if like you say anyone can do her job then just move someone over to cover her from a different area as temp. She shouldn't be punished I mean what if she had a c section or complications. Nevermind your wife is getting more time off for a freaking tummy tuck and still classing it as maternity. What is this s**t.
YTA. You gave your wife undue special treatment, and refused another human being the same - or ANY - courtesy. You even put down this woman's worth as a human and employee by stating your wife's job can be done by other people so she's free to take time off, but because a certain department is understaffed poor Mary is chained to her desk like a lower level slave? Do you HEAR your entitled-as* self? You owe Mary 6months paid maternity leave, a written apology, and the offer of company paid counselling services for the bullshi* you just put her through. You are everything that's wrong with the modern work environment - a toxicas* selfish boss.
YTA-If the Customer Service Dept was understaffed, you should hire enough staff so the employee could take the time off requested. The fact that you are even asking us if YTA, makes me think you are a selfish boss. I wonder how the labor board in your area would react. Treatment should be the same for family and employees. You are soooo incredibly the AH!
The fact that OP even had to ask this shows not only that HTA but he's an oblivious out-of-touch monster.
The saddest part in all of this is that he's asking for an opinion regarding his actions, but based on his actions, there's very little doubt that he even cares about the opinion he requested ... I feel like he just wants to find that one person that takes his side and that one opinion would vindicate him (in his mind) ...
My favorite part is where he states that his wife's duties can be taken up by others.....Why do I think that has always been the case?
This guy may not be breaking any labor laws because US labor laws suck and it's his business, but he's still definitely the AH. I love how his excuse for not giving Mary a few more weeks is that it will make her department understaffed and strained. With all due respect, as the company owner it's your job to manage it and make sure your teams are staffed properly. Icing on the cake is how he describes his wife's position. Ah yes, an "executive" who can be gone for over a year, and it apparently doesn't make much of a difference or strain the staff. Sounds like her job is just window dressing for nepotism. Have your wife fill in for Mary if what Mary does is so important; sounds like that would actually be a good use of resources.
Forget about the wife, this guys an asshole period. Not only is he obviously aware how important spending time with a new child is (since his wife asked for that reason) but post birth is some of the hardest time for mothers. The mental health issues alone can be debilitating. Just over a month to recover is monstrous, and she was only asking for an extra week. He has 4 children, he must have seen what women go through post birth, but went "sorry, i know youre physically in pain, your hormones are raging, your body looks like a mess and youre probably mentally exhausted and potentially dissociating because your life has a mew person in it reliant on you, but we really need you to put your job first while youre a mess"
I definitely think this is a YTA, but I also don't think he violated any labor laws. It was just a jerk thing to do.
I may have an unpopular position but as a small business owner, I suspect that this comes down to how bad the US safety net is. Based on the information in this story I suspect that OP's wife is a part-owner of the company and few people yell and scream when an owner takes a back seat due to health or other reasons, nor would they yell if they became more active at a later date. Mary, on the other hand, is an employee. While OP isn't ever required to provide insurance, retirement, or any other benefit to his wife because of her part ownership/being a family member employee, he is required to do so for Mary. According to US law, the 6 weeks of leave was purely altruistic and the owner paid to maintain Mary's benefits purely out of the goodness of his heart. Knowing the legality of what is going on doesn't make me like what happened in this situation...but for me it is a symptom of just how broken the US laws/economy are vs the fault of an individual business owner.
YTA x 1. million. In the Nordic countries We have a year! Guess Why??? Because the baby needs its parents. HELP MARY NOW…..
My question is: how did he write that all out then not realize just how much of an AH he is and completely delete the whole thing and immediately go apologize to Mary.
I doubt this is real? Time off to be with baby (understandable if all employees get that option) then a lot of time off for a tummy tuck? (Not that understandable). And then even question if he was the ah for not giving another employee more than 6 WEEKS? 6 weeks is practically a newborn and you are still in diapers yourself too. I would physically be hurting if I had to leave my newborn baby and on top of that FURIOUS if another employee got over a year with no problem.
"Now-suspended Reddit user..." I need details! Do assholes get kicked off the island or did somebowy not like da fweedback?
I feel like he was hoping they'd all say no it's perfectly understandable you're screwing over everyone except the person you're screwing. Any one would favour their wife like that. And what he got was well the only reason your wife deserves preferential treatment is she has to put up with your asshole self now stop being such a terrible boss. And then threw a tantrum like the toddler he clearly is.
Load More Replies... In my country... you can litteraly been out of job for several YEARS! On Maternity leave
This can't possibly be real! I refuse to believe someone could be so clueless and entitled.
lol is there an HR department? Sounds like people who are sleeping with the CEO get special treatment.
Your company is destined to fail. Either you're going to fail because of your special treatment to your wife, or you're going to fail because "Mary", as she should and deserves to, will file a lawsuit or complaint.
At my job our maternity leave is based on the amount of sick time you have, but you can't take more than 6 weeks without having your pay cut.
Beyond ahole... jt is not Mary's problem that a company is understaffed. In the US she'd have a valid court case
In the US Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) protections only kick in if you work for a company with a minimum number of employees and you’ve been there at least one year if you can’t check both of those boxes, you’re not entitled to FMLA leave. So he’s acting unethically but not illegally in denying the leave.
Load More Replies... All of you are bashing him but... Would it be different if was in different company? Ok, he gave his wife something more, but otherwise he follows the law. Every other company would do the same - you have XXX weeks, after that you are back at work. If you want to stay home an dtake care of your kid, you quit. The US system is YTA, not this man. My country has 24 months maternity leave... First year is full paid, second year is the minimum salary. So, not the boss, the system.
It's not the fact that he treats his wife special, it's the fact that they have only 6 weeks of maternity leave.
But, is the wife an owner? Because at the beginning of the post, he said that he owns a company and that his wife has a high position there. Am I missing something?
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