Princess Culture Without The ‘Toxic BS’: Daughter Shares Her Dad’s Parenting Methods, And People Love Them
The term “princess culture” has a lot of negative connotations attached to it. For example, mother Susan Scheftel Ph.D. thinks that “the cult of pink […] was oppressive and devaluing, a kind of disempowering caricature of personhood.” Recently, however, one daughter recalled how her dad raised her as a princess but without all the “toxic bull*hit,” and it went viral.
Image credits: mydaughtersarmy
Originally, it appeared on tumblr but author Greg Hogben shared it on Twitter as well.
Image credits: MyDaughtersArmy
“[When I welcomed my own little girl into the world], I did my best not to conform to stereotypes when I bought her all different colors of clothing, studiously avoiding pink,” Scheftel, who specializes in psychotherapy with adults and children, said. “Until my daughter was two, I never even purchased anything pink, and kept all pink clothing that had been inherited or given to my daughter off her, unless the gift giver was visiting.”
“One could say I had a phobia about pink. And yet as soon as my daughter could speak, almost as soon as she had out grown out of her first pair of carefully chosen gender neutral yellow sneakers, she started gravitating toward pink, almost in the manner than a sunflower strains toward the sun.”
According to Scheftel, it was a clear sign of her daughter situating herself in the gender category of ‘girl.’ “Now I realize she may have been an extreme,” she continued. “Some girls might like pink but not make a religion of it as my little one had. And yet, pink, for better or for worse, is what is referred to as a “signifier” of the feminine (children who are gender variant, i.e. do not identify with what is called the natal body, seem to traffic in pink as a marker of their variance. The girls who feel themselves to be boys assertively resist pink and the boys who feel themselves to be girls often embrace the color).”
Image credits: mydaughtersarmy
But Scheftel argues that there are other signifiers that go along with the so-called ‘pink=girl’ equation. “For most little girls in this culture, princesses are an extension or expansion of the cult of pink, and horrifying as it is to contemplate commercialism’s ability to colonize the mind, princesses represent the apogee of all that is desirable for the little girls already in their pink phase. One cannot just dismiss the world of the princess culture, nor assume it is an invention of the Disney conglomerate. In fact, it is most likely that the popularity of all things princess, so dearly embraced by little girls under 5, has to do with something developmental, and likely less to do with consumerism per se.”
People immediately started applauding this father’s parenting methods
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How about we let kids enjoy what they enjoy with no pressure from one side or the other? Children are not meant to be banners that you wave around in the progressive vs conservative war. It doesn't matter what YOU like. Let them assert themselves and not be ashamed of liking or not liking pink.
About the first paragraph on people hating upon princess culture aimed towards girls. Well, when I was young, I grew up under the image of the "princess warrior", so.... Not all princesses need to be rescued (but it's good to have a sidekick ♥).
My teacher used to read that book to us and said that the prince was the metaphorical dragon.
Load More Replies...omg, let kids be kids! If a little girl wants to be the princess who gets rescued by a handsome prince, NOBODY should stop that? Why do you have to force responsibility, feminism and all those grownup b******t onto a child???? I grew up playing with barbies, I have never had irrational beauty standard! I loved Disney movies, I didn't grow up waiting for a prince on his white horse! And im sure im not the only person with normal innocent childhood, that is not affected by stupid negative s**t they try to apply on those things nowadays! Lots of adults like to do stupid things and blame it on their childhood, just because they couldn't face the fact that they f****d up and made mistakes in their adult life.
Liking pink or blue doesn't mean you consider yourself a boy or a girl, people can like whatever colors they want. My favorite color has changed numerous times over my life. What's unfeminist, (or un-humanist? however you want to put it) is denying the choice to people because society decided this generation around pink is now for girls and no longer for boys and particularly that pink is for "submissive girls" or "aggressive boys". It's gone back and forth people.
That's a excellent idea. Making kids more assertive and raising future leaders
In other words, just spend time with your kids, male or female, let them be kids, use their imagination, teach them manners and respect along with kindness, and let them be whatever they want. Wish more people would learn this.
Can we just letbiisa be kids and not turn *everything* into *something* I was exhausted after thw first 2 paragraphs.
I mean, the first few Disney Princess movies were straight up stereotypical in the way they portrayed women, but soon as movies like The Little Mermaid and Mulan came around, I don't think the Disney Princess culture has been restrictive in anyway, much less toxic. Excellent parenting idea by the way (will hopefully use in the future).
Years ago I worked for a clothing store, the owner would constantly send pink and purple clothing for girls, till one day miss 7 (my daughter) confronted the owner and asked him why he only sent pink and purple clothing for girls, he responded with, because girls like pink and purple, her response to him was, but girls like other colours too, I like blue and green, not just pink and purple. The owner of the store took it into consideration, and the next shipment contained all the colours under the rainbow for girls, pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, white and red. These all sold out except for the pink and purple, the little girls loved the fact that they had other colours to choose from, I still laugh that my old boss took marketing advice from a 7 year old, and it worked.
How come there are so many negative comments? Did you not read what he does? Was it just a gut reaction to seeing something about girls wearing pink and you got into defense-against-militant-feminists mood automatically? This father is having tea with his princess, discussing the important developments in the realm. I find this marvellous!
And yet, to the Victorians, blue was a feminine colour. Pink was masculine, because it was derived from red. So I find it hard to believe that feminine people gravitate to pink and masculine to blue. It's only in the last century and 18 years that those genders have been associated with those colours.
I don't think I've ever been called a princess in my life D: I don't mean my parents didn't love me, it's just not much of a thing here I guess. Now I almost feel left out xD
How about we let kids enjoy what they enjoy with no pressure from one side or the other? Children are not meant to be banners that you wave around in the progressive vs conservative war. It doesn't matter what YOU like. Let them assert themselves and not be ashamed of liking or not liking pink.
About the first paragraph on people hating upon princess culture aimed towards girls. Well, when I was young, I grew up under the image of the "princess warrior", so.... Not all princesses need to be rescued (but it's good to have a sidekick ♥).
My teacher used to read that book to us and said that the prince was the metaphorical dragon.
Load More Replies...omg, let kids be kids! If a little girl wants to be the princess who gets rescued by a handsome prince, NOBODY should stop that? Why do you have to force responsibility, feminism and all those grownup b******t onto a child???? I grew up playing with barbies, I have never had irrational beauty standard! I loved Disney movies, I didn't grow up waiting for a prince on his white horse! And im sure im not the only person with normal innocent childhood, that is not affected by stupid negative s**t they try to apply on those things nowadays! Lots of adults like to do stupid things and blame it on their childhood, just because they couldn't face the fact that they f****d up and made mistakes in their adult life.
Liking pink or blue doesn't mean you consider yourself a boy or a girl, people can like whatever colors they want. My favorite color has changed numerous times over my life. What's unfeminist, (or un-humanist? however you want to put it) is denying the choice to people because society decided this generation around pink is now for girls and no longer for boys and particularly that pink is for "submissive girls" or "aggressive boys". It's gone back and forth people.
That's a excellent idea. Making kids more assertive and raising future leaders
In other words, just spend time with your kids, male or female, let them be kids, use their imagination, teach them manners and respect along with kindness, and let them be whatever they want. Wish more people would learn this.
Can we just letbiisa be kids and not turn *everything* into *something* I was exhausted after thw first 2 paragraphs.
I mean, the first few Disney Princess movies were straight up stereotypical in the way they portrayed women, but soon as movies like The Little Mermaid and Mulan came around, I don't think the Disney Princess culture has been restrictive in anyway, much less toxic. Excellent parenting idea by the way (will hopefully use in the future).
Years ago I worked for a clothing store, the owner would constantly send pink and purple clothing for girls, till one day miss 7 (my daughter) confronted the owner and asked him why he only sent pink and purple clothing for girls, he responded with, because girls like pink and purple, her response to him was, but girls like other colours too, I like blue and green, not just pink and purple. The owner of the store took it into consideration, and the next shipment contained all the colours under the rainbow for girls, pink, purple, blue, green, yellow, white and red. These all sold out except for the pink and purple, the little girls loved the fact that they had other colours to choose from, I still laugh that my old boss took marketing advice from a 7 year old, and it worked.
How come there are so many negative comments? Did you not read what he does? Was it just a gut reaction to seeing something about girls wearing pink and you got into defense-against-militant-feminists mood automatically? This father is having tea with his princess, discussing the important developments in the realm. I find this marvellous!
And yet, to the Victorians, blue was a feminine colour. Pink was masculine, because it was derived from red. So I find it hard to believe that feminine people gravitate to pink and masculine to blue. It's only in the last century and 18 years that those genders have been associated with those colours.
I don't think I've ever been called a princess in my life D: I don't mean my parents didn't love me, it's just not much of a thing here I guess. Now I almost feel left out xD
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