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Parents Refuse To Attend Son’s Wedding Unless He Shows Them Their Grandson’s DNA Test, He Ends Up Displaying It At Home And Drama Ensues
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Parents Refuse To Attend Son’s Wedding Unless He Shows Them Their Grandson’s DNA Test, He Ends Up Displaying It At Home And Drama Ensues

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We often overlook the fact that our parents are only humans, and as most would probably agree, humans aren’t usually all that great.

We grow up believing that because someone raised us, it implies that they can do no wrong – however, this kind of mentality is false and tends to hinder our later lives.

We idolize our old folks, whereas in reality it’s their first time on Earth too, and just because they are our parents, this doesn’t mean we have to respect them and their poor morals.

It just so happens that some people are fortunate enough to grow up in loving and supportive homes, while others suffer lifelong wounds at the hands of their own relatives, so whether you want to create boundaries, cut them off completely, or as in this case, show a little pettiness – remember, you don’t have to endure their antics.

More info: Reddit

In some cases, it’s necessary to give up on people – not because you don’t care, but rather because they’re not worth it

Image credits: Allie Towers Rice (not the actual image)

AITA for having a photo of my son’s DNA test framed and hanging in the living room?” – this netizen turned to one of Reddit’s most well-liked communities, wondering whether he’s indeed a jerk for not taking down his son’s DNA test that he hung on his wall as a petty gesture to his disapproving parents. The post managed to garner nearly 17K upvotes, as well as 1.9K comments discussing the situation.

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Parents cause an uproar after finding out this guy framed his son’s DNA test and hung it in his living room

Image source: u/altacci5378754

The man began his story by revealing that he and his now-wife tied the knot 9 months ago and that they also fell pregnant with a baby boy while they were engaged.

The author’s beloved partner is a former sex worker, and his folks were always “skeptical” about her and continuously questioned whether he was indeed sure about settling down with her.

When the couple finally announced their pregnancy, the guy’s parents went wild. They wanted a paternity test, and if the couple refused to obtain one, they even said they wouldn’t attend their wedding.

Image source: u/altacci5378754

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Image credits: Travis Wise (not the actual image)

Image source: u/altacci5378754

The parents, unsurprisingly, did not attend the couple’s wedding; nonetheless, the author’s wife eventually opted to have the test done just to make a point and potentially foster a relationship with her son’s grandparents.

They began dropping by, and only recently did they realize the man had a picture of the DNA test up in the living room. Naturally, the parents inquired about it, and he said that it served as a reminder of the reason they had chosen not to attend his wedding.

His folks were livid and repeatedly asked him to take it down, claiming that he was being “too harsh,” but the man stood his ground and joked about the picture going well with the house’s decor.

They begged them to take it down once more, but then they set an ultimatum, telling the couple they wouldn’t be coming over until the picture was taken down.

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Image source: u/altacci5378754

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Image credits: Oak Ridge National Laboratory (not the actual image)

When the post gained some attention, the man decided to add some extra commentary. He explained that his wife doesn’t mind having the photo up; in fact, she finds it quite amusing. Nevertheless, she is still hurt by what the author’s parents had her go through.

What do you think about this situation? Would you take the photo down if you were in the author’s place?

Fellow community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation

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christopherhaste avatar
E Henry Todd
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks to Bored Panda's weird censorship of words, I read this article thinking the guy's wife was in a jazz ensemble.

imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents are absolute hypocrites. "Being too harsh on them, refusing to let go of the past and embarrassing them in front of family members". What the heck do they think they did to her? I would just say, "now you know how she feels". I think though that they're more concerned about what other people will say, rather than actually being ashamed of their past horrible behaviour towards their new daughter-in-law. It's probably best to keep them at arm's length; they seem like the type who would be overbearing towards their grandson, and might even try to get her legally condemned as an 'unfit mother'.

ullahsandra avatar
Queenbee
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Well given her past suggesting a DNA test is not out of order. Anything less and their son could be on the hook paying for another man's child. This is not about being PC or her feelings. She was a hooker. NO way to know if she loves the son or relationships are just transactional to her..and no parent wants their son cuckolded.

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dylanarmstrong avatar
Dylan Armstrong
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP isn't being petty AT ALL. His parents don't want other people to know how they behaved. Period. That's on them. And for everyone saying to take it down before the kid gets older, scr*w that. If his wife's s*x work isn't shameful then there shouldn't be a problem raising his kid knowing about it. Also, the s*x work doesn't have to come into the conversation at all. It literally can just be about how the parents weren't sure he was the father (and what that implies about what they thought of her during their relationship.) If you raise your kids not to c**p on s*x workers and the grandparents out her to try to hurt her/prove their point it's just gonna make them look like the intolerant dinosaurs they really are.

sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Daddy? What is that? That honey, is proof that you are my child. Why does it hang there daddy? Because I'm the happiest daddy of the world that you are my child and because some people said nasty things about your mom and this proves they were wrong and I was right loving her with all my heart and trusting her to be my wife. That's why I put it here, to tell everyone that this is my family, and not to mess with us.

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lukim3200 avatar
Sparkle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gotta love the ones who see nothing wrong with throwing your past in your face, but it's "going too far" when the same is done to them. Tsk tsk.

nicpay avatar
Yeah, okay.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When your parents embarrass you by publicly missing your wedding and therefore announcing to all that went to your wedding they don't support your wife, you get to be petty. I'm thinking this guy is pretty gracious for letting him in his house to see their grandson at all.

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a cousin who use to be a stripper. She got marry and stop. Her 1st husband cheated on her so she divorced him. She met a great man that loved her and her kids unconditionally. So her ex husband took her to court to sue for full custody. He not once before she got with him try to get custody over their son. There was a pfa on him he try to attack her I put myself in between them and stopped him. Well in court he kept bringing up the fact she was a stripper. The judge said and you didn't have a problem with that when you marry her. How does that effects on what kind of mother she is. He asked my cousin what she does now at the time she was a manager for a bank. The judge ignored him. So he decided to lie and call children services and said her house was dirty she leaves the kids home alone every night there's no food. So a social worker came over and he laughed. Her house was super clean. There's a house full of food and drinks etc... Her mom gets the kids after school and she gra

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grabbed them on her way home from work. She gets home around 5:30 she cooked dinner and they eat about 6:30 pm. He talked to the kids one on one the oldest 2 at least. They are never home by their selves. I lived next door so if her and her current husband wanted to go out on a date me and my daughter went over and I watched them. The social worker talked to me as well. He called two more times they didn't find anything. So they filed paperwork against him she filed harassment charges on him. He was awarded weekends to see how that went. For the first two months he had him every weekend. Than he started dropping their son off to her mom's on Saturday so he can run the streets. After a year of that she was awarded ful custody and was granted the right to move out of state. Her current husband started working in a different state. Their son can't stand his dad now he try to throw up to him how his mom was a stripper calling her names. One-day their son got fed up put him in his place

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2-katniss avatar
A falz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love it. Don't take it down! If your son sees it, you don't have to tell exactly what it is until you feel he is old enough to understand the situation. Petty? Yes. But the best kind. Your parents are just going to have to live with the shame. Please go non contact. Because as your son gets older they are going to start making comments to him that if he's too young to fully understand can be traumatizing. And they WILL make comments directly at him. They'll do it when you aren't around. And I wouldn't be at all surprised if eventually they report you to cps and try to go court to get your son. They will bring up your wife's past save your little family and walk away. Change phone numbers if they have keys change the locks. Run run very fast from these very toxic people.

travellingtrainer avatar
Hey!
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was never a s*x worker. I was married a virgin at 20. My 2nd partner turns out to be the one I married as a 2nd husband. I got pregnant and my MIL, still thinks to this day (30+ years later), that our children are not my husband's. Why? Because he was married before - like me - and never got his wife pregnant. My husband made me a proposition I couldn't refuse and the fine prints were that we both pass fertility tests to which I agreed (less embarrassing than a virginity test I assure you). He's sterile, I'm extra fertile. The doctor's verdict: miracle happens and I believe in them. We did too. At the time I was a specialist in getting people pregnant the natural way so I boosted my husband with mega doses of certain vitamins and minerals. I got pregnant the first time six weeks after. Shock in his family; the baby is surely not yours. Yeah, okay, just take a look a them, will you? They look so much like their father. NTA. Like someone else said, keep that picture up.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with Marina on this one, claiming to be able to cure infertility with minerals and vitamins (especially that "I was a specialist" as if it'd happen a lot) sounds like what some Herbalife and essential oils person would say.

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ceciliabragg avatar
Cecilia Bragg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand what the problem with their child knowing that there is a document proving their dad is their dad on display. Yes IF they explain its only their because their grandparents are a**e holes. But they don't need to be that specific.

mom2sjh avatar
SMom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. No need to tell the kid the whole story unless and until he asks.

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barbbyerly avatar
Barb Byerly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In all of this pettines,, the only one that matters is the child. Not their fault. His parents probably had a problem with the situation way before a baby was thrown in. Enjoy thar grandbaby. Coming from someone who lost one, life is short.

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are NTA I would have did something even more petty. I would have put it on social media if they have a Facebook page and tag them in it. Show it to all of their friends and let them know why

chilledchocolate avatar
ChilledChocolate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would refuse to see the parents again until they agreed to a DNA test to prove they were my parents!

koolmudkips avatar
kool mudkips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate it when people want you to hide their actions. (Like the parents want OP to hide what they did from family and friends) I like to live in the sunshine. I try my best not to do things I would want to hide from others. They should have not missed his wedding. Then the truth would not bother them so much. He can tell whoever he wants. Don't do something you're ashamed of. Easy! We all make mistakes but that was not a mistake. It was intentional infliction of pain. I was a heroin addict for 14 years. So I understand embarrassment. But I live in the sunshine now and it feels GREAT. If I feel myself going down that road, I always ask if I'd be embarrassed for people to know? If yes, I probably shouldn't be doing it.

dianewargo avatar
Diane Wargo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s liberating to break ties with toxic family members. Your parents look down on your wife and think they are too good for her. They probably call her bad names like s**t behind your backs. You are smart to keep them away from your child. No small child needs to hear bad things about their mother. That is traumatizing. Break it off permanently and let them die in old folks home.

rflash66 avatar
Randy Gordon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! What kind of relationship is the daughter in law suppose ti have with these parents? I think they basically destroyed whatever chance they had by doing what they did.

jac2525 avatar
Julie MommaWolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the have more children add those pictures also. That way no doubt about her past, and they can make it a thing. Explain to children they are there because of how proud they belong to them. (The parents)

camillakoutsos avatar
Camilla Koutsos
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The idea that sex workers are less honest than other people is horrible. The idea that they're unfaithful, even after retiring, makes no sense. The placing of conditions on attending your child's big day is reprehensible. This guy married a treasure. I'd have been much less patient and gentle about it if someone treated me and my partner that way. She's the better person.

davidbendall avatar
David Bendall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Camilla, Sex work is illegal in most states, therefore she was most likely engaging in illegal activity. Honest criminals go to jail or get killed for snitching. Lying is a job requirement to remain employed and alive. However, it doesn't mean they lie to everyone nor about everything.

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synthwolfe avatar
Nathan Wolfe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Op was cool with his wife's history and accepted that the child she was pregnant with was indeed hers. His parents, however, refused to accept it until the DNA test was done. So its perfect acceptedable that he put the DNA test, again, that they demanded, on his wall. Completely valid response to THEIR pettiness.

atarahderek avatar
Raini Way
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the parents need to be beat over the head with the book of Hosea. Gomer was a sex SLAVE. Hosea rescued her. Twice. Why should he be judged for that rather than upheld as a hero?

achaiadust avatar
Liam Lowenthal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Petty, yes. But considering what they did, I'd say they deserve it. What a pair of hypocrites. They couldn't just be cautiously happy for their son if they're so concerned about her last job? They apparently know squat about sex workers or their history or how they played a huge part in various bits of many cultures shapes. They're not to be looked down on, they should be respected like any other job. Jfc.

nirrrina avatar
Nirrrina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're going to be an a$$hole. Be the whole a$$hole. Louis Rossman once said this on his YouTube channel. I've remembered that ever since. So I'd say you're being the whole a$$hole. Nothing wrong with that though. I'd be tempted to leave it up & tell my kid it was to rub it in their faces that he was mine period. But I wouldn't. Take it down before he's old enough to know what it is but not old enough to truly understand you did it because of how much you love his mom & him. But I would say leave it up for now. Instead if you're serious about reconciliation with them. Then get a family councilor & use the presence of it to help force them into therapy with you. Then you can more safely tell them how much they hurt you & your wife. As well as how you are absolutely not going to allow them to continue That they have to change & let your wife's past completely go. Or they won't be allowed to see their grandson unless you are there to supervise. Good job supporting your wife.

kaitlinbutcher avatar
kaitlin butcher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with other comments, take it down. You either have all made up and moved on or have not. At this point the parents get that they were wrong not to have faith in you two. As your son gets older, he will have questions, you won't want him to have to shoulder pain from this hurtful experience.

ellenanderson_1 avatar
Ellen Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guys parents sure are judgemental, rude and like to threaten him with withholding their high and mighty presence. I don't blame him at all for hanging the test results up where his parents can see them. He should hold his ground to prove the point of how inconsiderate they continue to be. If I were him though I would definitely take the test results down before his son is old enough to understand what they represent. He is an innocent child and doesn't need to be dragged into the situation.

patricia_keith avatar
Patricia Keith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What matter's is the bond between you and your wife and to make a home for your child.There are probably skeletons in your mom's closet and your dad's and who cares about your brother he probably doesn't even know what day it is or time of day let him do his thing and your parents do their thing and you focus on your family don't let others bring you down.They are judgemental about your wife's work performance and they will always have a bad opinion of her

slw303 avatar
SuePrew
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but, you made your point, time to take it down and move on.

judytakacs avatar
Judy Takács
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do your parents deserve this? Absolutely! What they did was unconscionable. Does your wife deserve this? She says she doesn't mind, but at some point she might get tired of the story being repeated, and then it would be her right to take it down, and you should be fine with it. Does your son deserve it? No. Not one bit. He's yours…both of yours. For his sake, you should take it down. Keep it though, and tell him the story as needed, if needed.

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

its ALWAYS refreshing to hear about a husband that doesnt have his balls still in his mommy's purse

papalih avatar
Sarkastika Bombastika
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he should take it down but if anyone brings up the wife's past ever again than they should go NC on the family.

frozenwaters890 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If every child was tested to see who their biological parents were when they were born, this wouldn't be an issue. The parents would be able to know that the grandchild was theirs and they wouldn't need to miss the wedding over it. The wife's family always knows that the child born to her is biologically hers. The husband's family should have the same knowledge through the automatic genetic tests for the baby. Then the whole fact of her being a sex worker wouldn't even come up since every birth would show who the biological parents are so the grandparents wouldn't even need to ask.

norma-ellen avatar
Norma Reid-Hunt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get rid of that thing. I would not say anything too my husband but it would be hurting my heart any tine I saw it. I would not ever be cozy with that family but concentrate on my own. Your wie must be a gem to to have not let.

jo91150 avatar
Joanne Hudson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That document hanging on the wall is called "insurance". For the immediate future, it will serve as a reminder of (hopefully) their lowest moment so they don't repeat it. Who knows, maybe it'll need to come back out if your son is gay..

geordiemcdougall avatar
GMc
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not petty. I would have made the DNA test my Christmas card and mailed it to everyone. Making sure to note that your parents demanded it be done to accept your child. Heck, I would have had a few hundred extra printed and sent a copy to their neighbours, local corner stores, gas stations, parents work / coworkers, that type of thing.

erinmartin_1 avatar
Erin Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have come to an amends and moved on it's petty. If you squash it and then keep throwing in their face then it's not squashed. So in that respect it's petty really but people handle things differently so who am I to judge?

eriklaumets avatar
Erik Laumets
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom did the same thing to my brother. This chick he was sleeping with said the kid was his and he believed it. Hell I believed it. My mom did the test on the DL and guess what? It wasn't his. This is thread only exists b/c the parents were wrong.

patriciatorres avatar
patricia Torres
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think you are petty. I'm sure that your attempts to reassure them about the pregnancy was very hurtful for both you and your wife. One day your child will ask questions about your wedding whether or not that dna test is there still. You will have to be honest and your parents need to own up to their mistake. They also need to seriously apologize. No one is perfect and they certainly proved that to your wife. She worked to survive not for fun. I commend her on pushing through hardships and finding someone who sees the powerful woman she is. Congratulations on pushing forward because that is the best direction to go.

stephenrodrigues avatar
Stephen Rodrigues
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kinda think OP was hoping for this reaction from his parents by them seeing the results/letter on the wall. If his parents saw the letter on the wall and then laughed about it, OP would probably be even more upset becuase he wanted to see a negative reaction from the parents. If the parents laughed and said "you should go to kinkos and get it enlarged in a big frame", OP would be more upset and then he would care less if the results/letter stayed on the wall. (Uno reverse card) He may even take the results/letter off the wall sooner becuase he got the opposite reaction from his parents from what he wanted.

mariegalloway73 avatar
Marie Galloway Daley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny, it's embarrassing that the dna test is on the wall and not because the did not attend their son's wedding.

beckyboat avatar
Becky Boat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents are clearly out of line. I do find it curious that you find it necessary to inform people that your wife is a former sex worker. I'm not judging her either about that either as I'm not really sure what a sex worker is. I do think it is odd that the only job she could find was as a sex worker though. It sounds like a horrible job.

sheilalitz avatar
Sheila Litz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In 1990, I met my now husband. We kept our relationship on the down low because it happened really fast. I was 24, he was 27. We met at the beginning of October and we were engaged and pregnant by January 91! My soon to be step mother in law had the audacity to ask if I was a hooker that my soon to be husband/ her stepson, met on a street corner and if she had to worry about hearing that the child was left abandoned in a trash can. Needless to say, she is not in our lives. My children do not know her and my grand children do not know her. My wonderful father in law passed away in 97 or we would have had to endure her company! We are still very happily married to this day. You do what feels right to you and everyone else be damned!

soulrider13 avatar
Heather W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sh*t, I would have paid for weekly singing telegrams describing the child's parentage. At least the 1st year. Then monthly the 2nd. Then every year on his birthday. Screw them.

janethowe_1 avatar
Janet Howe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I have mixed feelings about this. Your parents ought to be ashamed of them selves. I'm afraid they will always view your wife as a second class citizen. I feel bad for her.They're going to be missing out on some joyous times with the grandchild. That being said, you've proved your point to everyone. Now that they've seen the DNA test, I think it's time to remove it from the wall. Maybe then, your child can get to have a set of grandparents. If you've reconciled, let the issue rest. You have an opportunity to be the bigger man.

bfree43513 avatar
Robert Freeman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG, please let it go, life is to short carry bad feelings. Yes they might have been judgemental what parent isn't. My mom criticized my wife for 40 years, on her death bed she apologized and said I know I wasn't happy about your marriage but you married a good woman that raised your kids and took care of you. When you reach a point of losing a loved one ask of if hurting was all worth it?

kaitiyoder avatar
Kaiti Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But it was absolutely acceptable to let your wife be constantly hurt for 40 years? Good parents are not judgmental. The fact that you think that is acceptable is why you don't care that you stood by watching someone actively harm your wife. That is a horrible example to set for your children.

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michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With parents like the OP has, he should be the one asking for a DNA test. But looking forward, take it down. When the kid's old enough to read, this will raise questions that he in no sense should have to deal with. (Alternate plan, you'll take it down at your house if your parents will display it at theirs. After all, it was their idea - demand, in fact).

sparkle127-tl avatar
Trish L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, your parents made a mistake, yeah.... BUT! Come on now, they ARE your parents-- they were merely looking out for YOUR WELL BEING. Considering the situation, it's only natural they'd be reluctant to believe that the baby was yours. After all, it's very easy for someone in a relationship to see through rose colored glasses. I'm sure they already deeply regret missing your nuptials. But to be fair, it's been well proven that someone working in that "industry" tends to go back when/ if financial woes arise. Think of your own son in the future, realistically. Take the facking thing down now, shred it, have a nice, long sit down with your parents & your wife to lay all cards on the table, dialogue like adults, and squash this ridiculous thing once and for all! Stop taking pride in being "petty". Again, your parents were in a position, rightfully so, where they were worried that you *WERE potentially being taken advantage of-- that came from a place of love. Time for love

ullahsandra avatar
Queenbee
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recommended all my sons and brothers get Paternity tests because in many states if you claim a kid you are on the hook until the kids are 18, bio dad or not. It is not about about her past life per se more the acknowledgement thst women are often immoral, nasty and conniving these days. And hang it on any wall they like cuz I stand by my suggestion and would be more than fine sharing the reasons forvit

ullahsandra avatar
Queenbee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol. I font blame the guy for not taking it down and rubbing it in but I don't understand the embarrassment of the parents. As a person who may have suggested one of my sons get that test done also , if I questioned the girls morality..the fact he had it up as a conversation started would not bother me one bit .Yes I asked cuz as a former jo there od no way yo know what the heck you think is moral and have been up to..and I might ask for additional DNA tests for any other kids too but I never would have given an ultimatum. This is close to the story of my brother and his ( now ex wife) gf who used to be his side chick. She thought to impress me by telling me a male stripper asked for her phone # and she gave it to him..I told my brother. He confronted her and demanded the reciprocated number. She denied having it and said I lied on her. BUT 3 Others stepped up and agreed they saw the exchange too. Finally she handed over the paper. He stayed with her .

beatricesandoval avatar
Beatrice Sandoval
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As parents we want the best for our children and let’s be honest. All people judge those who claim they don’t are liars! Do you really want the whole family to know your wife was a s-x worker so they can judge her? They may not say anything but the looks will be noticeable. Your both wrong but maybe it’s time to move forward for your sons sake. After all he’s the most important blessing!

mattfromtinder avatar
Matt From Tinder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how they claim that the parents are "just human and humans are terrible" and then ignore entirely that the woman he married is also "just human". They act as though the mere act of being a female makes her infallible. Like we have never heard of a woman who let a man raise a child for decades and then found out the kid wasn't his. Do you have ANY idea how devastating that would be for that man? Or are we just not supposed to care because being promiscuous is magically seen as being a positive for women these days? Fun fact, ladies: you've ALWAYS controlled access to s*x. The reason there is a push to make promiscuity a net positive is because it's a negative to most men, who control access to relationships.

gregorytoma avatar
Gregory Toma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact of the matter is what the parents were worried about originally happens to many men all the time. It wasn't handled in the most tactful way, but they're concern for their son was not unwarranted. It's not like they did not like her because of her race or status in life, they were concerned for their son being duped into the marriage when they thought he may be being taken advantage of. Bottom line, they're concern wasn't ridiculous. They are your parents, and if you want to spoil your relationship with them now then don't be surprised when you need their help again later and they're not too keen to do it. Stop acting like a child and get over it and accept it for what it was. Or don't, and keep a rift between yourself and your parents because you happened to think it's worth it for your own amusement. What the parents do was not petty. When they found the truth they were willing to accept that they were wrong. What you are doing is petty and ill advised.

xxbrokenobsidianxx avatar
xxbrokenobsidianxx avatar
jack0neko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saw a notification saying this comment got an upvote, but when I checked it it said zero. So did someone like it but then unlike it or was it some glitch?

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Don Juan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents should put a picture of a sex worker on their wall, one of her if they have one.

kaitiyoder avatar
Kaiti Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok? Lol if you think that is a revenge idea, and wouldn't just continue to prove to everyone that they are idiotic, you may want to rethink that.

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janice_parks_100 avatar
Janice Parks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you marry her to deliberately upset your parents? If it was true love and you DO, in fact, want to move on and show people how mature you are then take it down. Stop sitting on the fence and making people guess at your sincerity. If you don’t want to take it down as a reminder then offer to visit them at their home but let them know you’re not taking it down at your house. Your anger hurts other people, too. Maybe ask for a real apology?

kaitiyoder avatar
Kaiti Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Moving on does not mean the people in the wrong are no longer held accountable. They still indeed have to deal with the consequences of their idiotic actions.

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Martha Vazquez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sure they regret what they did, and which they could take it back, but they can’t. They lost a moment they can never recover, your wedding. I don’t know if you are Christian or not, but we need to let go of the pass and forgive.

williamsmith_8 avatar
William Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"my wife was a sex worker -- don't judge! She did what she had to do to survive!" As opposed to...getting a job? Sorry dude, you blew it +- I'd never marry a whore.

delete4life avatar
Delete 4 Life
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sex worker? The word you are looking for is "prostitute", "porn star", "hoeing for money"

davidbendall avatar
David Bendall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some women will date men, get pregnant by someone else then divorce the man and ask for alimoney and child support. They will bleed a decent man dry and repeat the process with other men. Your parents are older and wiser. Their advice was not unreasonable. Not all former sex workers are bad people nor are they all good. People in the sex industry are usually surrounded by people dealing drugs, human trafficking, the exploitation of children, etc. If not directly involved , they turn a blind eye, which reveals their basic character. Some people allow their idealistic views to blind them to reality. I have two relatives that I love dearly but will lie, con and steal anything for drug money. They done it for years to the entire family. It's a common trait among addicts just as there are common traits among sex workers. His parents were cautious, skeptical and concerned for their son ... and with good reason.

laurabamber avatar
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were the parents, I’d own it and call it “A Memorial to Looking AfterMy Son’s Interests” and ask for a copy for my own house. That would get him to take it down pretty quick.

kathygrimm avatar
Kathy Grimm
Community Member
1 year ago

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If my son married a "Sex Worker", if one prints the correct word for this job, it would get deleted . I wouldn't want him back in my house again.

dakotaball avatar
Fishbear
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do you care so much about your child's sex life? A little suspect to me...

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Cristina Dullanty
Community Member
1 year ago

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Just like your parents, you can't let go of the past either. At least your parents were able to admit they were wrong. When people ask about the framed test, do you also have to explain that your wife is an ex sex worker, too? Don't get me wrong, I see the humor in proving them wrong, but leaving it up seems kind of disrespectful, and not just to your parents.

misaonobaka avatar
setsuriseikou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only thing we know about his current situation is that he "made amends" with his parents and they "reconciled". I think this doesn't necessarily mean that any of them actually forgave the other party, they might just be on speaking (and apparently visiting) terms again, nothing more. Because there are some kinds of harm that can't be undone and/or forgiven. You say he cannot let go of the past. I say he might actually have evidence in the present that his parents still do not approve fully of his wife and kid, and that "the past" might happen again. And the framed test is there to remind the parents: "you say one more wrong word about my family, and we're cutting ties with you".

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BenMaharaj
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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Sounds like this guy hasn’t let this go despite them all reconciling. He is in the wrong on this. Forgiveness means letting it go. Not condoning what happened but moving forward. Accepting someone’s apology and then throwing the wrong in their face, not to mention bad mouthing them to others, is an injury all on it’s own. He should take it down.

tubjelly40 avatar
Jelly Tub
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Forgiveness means to accept that someone is sorry and say that it is in the past, but you can still be hurt by it. Also he never really said that they forgave each other, they could have just been on speaking and visiting terms

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E Henry Todd
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thanks to Bored Panda's weird censorship of words, I read this article thinking the guy's wife was in a jazz ensemble.

imbriuminarian avatar
Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents are absolute hypocrites. "Being too harsh on them, refusing to let go of the past and embarrassing them in front of family members". What the heck do they think they did to her? I would just say, "now you know how she feels". I think though that they're more concerned about what other people will say, rather than actually being ashamed of their past horrible behaviour towards their new daughter-in-law. It's probably best to keep them at arm's length; they seem like the type who would be overbearing towards their grandson, and might even try to get her legally condemned as an 'unfit mother'.

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Queenbee
Community Member
1 year ago

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Well given her past suggesting a DNA test is not out of order. Anything less and their son could be on the hook paying for another man's child. This is not about being PC or her feelings. She was a hooker. NO way to know if she loves the son or relationships are just transactional to her..and no parent wants their son cuckolded.

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Dylan Armstrong
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP isn't being petty AT ALL. His parents don't want other people to know how they behaved. Period. That's on them. And for everyone saying to take it down before the kid gets older, scr*w that. If his wife's s*x work isn't shameful then there shouldn't be a problem raising his kid knowing about it. Also, the s*x work doesn't have to come into the conversation at all. It literally can just be about how the parents weren't sure he was the father (and what that implies about what they thought of her during their relationship.) If you raise your kids not to c**p on s*x workers and the grandparents out her to try to hurt her/prove their point it's just gonna make them look like the intolerant dinosaurs they really are.

sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Daddy? What is that? That honey, is proof that you are my child. Why does it hang there daddy? Because I'm the happiest daddy of the world that you are my child and because some people said nasty things about your mom and this proves they were wrong and I was right loving her with all my heart and trusting her to be my wife. That's why I put it here, to tell everyone that this is my family, and not to mess with us.

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Sparkle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gotta love the ones who see nothing wrong with throwing your past in your face, but it's "going too far" when the same is done to them. Tsk tsk.

nicpay avatar
Yeah, okay.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When your parents embarrass you by publicly missing your wedding and therefore announcing to all that went to your wedding they don't support your wife, you get to be petty. I'm thinking this guy is pretty gracious for letting him in his house to see their grandson at all.

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a cousin who use to be a stripper. She got marry and stop. Her 1st husband cheated on her so she divorced him. She met a great man that loved her and her kids unconditionally. So her ex husband took her to court to sue for full custody. He not once before she got with him try to get custody over their son. There was a pfa on him he try to attack her I put myself in between them and stopped him. Well in court he kept bringing up the fact she was a stripper. The judge said and you didn't have a problem with that when you marry her. How does that effects on what kind of mother she is. He asked my cousin what she does now at the time she was a manager for a bank. The judge ignored him. So he decided to lie and call children services and said her house was dirty she leaves the kids home alone every night there's no food. So a social worker came over and he laughed. Her house was super clean. There's a house full of food and drinks etc... Her mom gets the kids after school and she gra

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grabbed them on her way home from work. She gets home around 5:30 she cooked dinner and they eat about 6:30 pm. He talked to the kids one on one the oldest 2 at least. They are never home by their selves. I lived next door so if her and her current husband wanted to go out on a date me and my daughter went over and I watched them. The social worker talked to me as well. He called two more times they didn't find anything. So they filed paperwork against him she filed harassment charges on him. He was awarded weekends to see how that went. For the first two months he had him every weekend. Than he started dropping their son off to her mom's on Saturday so he can run the streets. After a year of that she was awarded ful custody and was granted the right to move out of state. Her current husband started working in a different state. Their son can't stand his dad now he try to throw up to him how his mom was a stripper calling her names. One-day their son got fed up put him in his place

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2-katniss avatar
A falz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love it. Don't take it down! If your son sees it, you don't have to tell exactly what it is until you feel he is old enough to understand the situation. Petty? Yes. But the best kind. Your parents are just going to have to live with the shame. Please go non contact. Because as your son gets older they are going to start making comments to him that if he's too young to fully understand can be traumatizing. And they WILL make comments directly at him. They'll do it when you aren't around. And I wouldn't be at all surprised if eventually they report you to cps and try to go court to get your son. They will bring up your wife's past save your little family and walk away. Change phone numbers if they have keys change the locks. Run run very fast from these very toxic people.

travellingtrainer avatar
Hey!
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was never a s*x worker. I was married a virgin at 20. My 2nd partner turns out to be the one I married as a 2nd husband. I got pregnant and my MIL, still thinks to this day (30+ years later), that our children are not my husband's. Why? Because he was married before - like me - and never got his wife pregnant. My husband made me a proposition I couldn't refuse and the fine prints were that we both pass fertility tests to which I agreed (less embarrassing than a virginity test I assure you). He's sterile, I'm extra fertile. The doctor's verdict: miracle happens and I believe in them. We did too. At the time I was a specialist in getting people pregnant the natural way so I boosted my husband with mega doses of certain vitamins and minerals. I got pregnant the first time six weeks after. Shock in his family; the baby is surely not yours. Yeah, okay, just take a look a them, will you? They look so much like their father. NTA. Like someone else said, keep that picture up.

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with Marina on this one, claiming to be able to cure infertility with minerals and vitamins (especially that "I was a specialist" as if it'd happen a lot) sounds like what some Herbalife and essential oils person would say.

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Cecilia Bragg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand what the problem with their child knowing that there is a document proving their dad is their dad on display. Yes IF they explain its only their because their grandparents are a**e holes. But they don't need to be that specific.

mom2sjh avatar
SMom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. No need to tell the kid the whole story unless and until he asks.

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barbbyerly avatar
Barb Byerly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In all of this pettines,, the only one that matters is the child. Not their fault. His parents probably had a problem with the situation way before a baby was thrown in. Enjoy thar grandbaby. Coming from someone who lost one, life is short.

rasheedashaheen avatar
Rasheeda Shaheen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are NTA I would have did something even more petty. I would have put it on social media if they have a Facebook page and tag them in it. Show it to all of their friends and let them know why

chilledchocolate avatar
ChilledChocolate
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would refuse to see the parents again until they agreed to a DNA test to prove they were my parents!

koolmudkips avatar
kool mudkips
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate it when people want you to hide their actions. (Like the parents want OP to hide what they did from family and friends) I like to live in the sunshine. I try my best not to do things I would want to hide from others. They should have not missed his wedding. Then the truth would not bother them so much. He can tell whoever he wants. Don't do something you're ashamed of. Easy! We all make mistakes but that was not a mistake. It was intentional infliction of pain. I was a heroin addict for 14 years. So I understand embarrassment. But I live in the sunshine now and it feels GREAT. If I feel myself going down that road, I always ask if I'd be embarrassed for people to know? If yes, I probably shouldn't be doing it.

dianewargo avatar
Diane Wargo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s liberating to break ties with toxic family members. Your parents look down on your wife and think they are too good for her. They probably call her bad names like s**t behind your backs. You are smart to keep them away from your child. No small child needs to hear bad things about their mother. That is traumatizing. Break it off permanently and let them die in old folks home.

rflash66 avatar
Randy Gordon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! What kind of relationship is the daughter in law suppose ti have with these parents? I think they basically destroyed whatever chance they had by doing what they did.

jac2525 avatar
Julie MommaWolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the have more children add those pictures also. That way no doubt about her past, and they can make it a thing. Explain to children they are there because of how proud they belong to them. (The parents)

camillakoutsos avatar
Camilla Koutsos
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The idea that sex workers are less honest than other people is horrible. The idea that they're unfaithful, even after retiring, makes no sense. The placing of conditions on attending your child's big day is reprehensible. This guy married a treasure. I'd have been much less patient and gentle about it if someone treated me and my partner that way. She's the better person.

davidbendall avatar
David Bendall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Camilla, Sex work is illegal in most states, therefore she was most likely engaging in illegal activity. Honest criminals go to jail or get killed for snitching. Lying is a job requirement to remain employed and alive. However, it doesn't mean they lie to everyone nor about everything.

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synthwolfe avatar
Nathan Wolfe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Op was cool with his wife's history and accepted that the child she was pregnant with was indeed hers. His parents, however, refused to accept it until the DNA test was done. So its perfect acceptedable that he put the DNA test, again, that they demanded, on his wall. Completely valid response to THEIR pettiness.

atarahderek avatar
Raini Way
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the parents need to be beat over the head with the book of Hosea. Gomer was a sex SLAVE. Hosea rescued her. Twice. Why should he be judged for that rather than upheld as a hero?

achaiadust avatar
Liam Lowenthal
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Petty, yes. But considering what they did, I'd say they deserve it. What a pair of hypocrites. They couldn't just be cautiously happy for their son if they're so concerned about her last job? They apparently know squat about sex workers or their history or how they played a huge part in various bits of many cultures shapes. They're not to be looked down on, they should be respected like any other job. Jfc.

nirrrina avatar
Nirrrina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're going to be an a$$hole. Be the whole a$$hole. Louis Rossman once said this on his YouTube channel. I've remembered that ever since. So I'd say you're being the whole a$$hole. Nothing wrong with that though. I'd be tempted to leave it up & tell my kid it was to rub it in their faces that he was mine period. But I wouldn't. Take it down before he's old enough to know what it is but not old enough to truly understand you did it because of how much you love his mom & him. But I would say leave it up for now. Instead if you're serious about reconciliation with them. Then get a family councilor & use the presence of it to help force them into therapy with you. Then you can more safely tell them how much they hurt you & your wife. As well as how you are absolutely not going to allow them to continue That they have to change & let your wife's past completely go. Or they won't be allowed to see their grandson unless you are there to supervise. Good job supporting your wife.

kaitlinbutcher avatar
kaitlin butcher
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with other comments, take it down. You either have all made up and moved on or have not. At this point the parents get that they were wrong not to have faith in you two. As your son gets older, he will have questions, you won't want him to have to shoulder pain from this hurtful experience.

ellenanderson_1 avatar
Ellen Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guys parents sure are judgemental, rude and like to threaten him with withholding their high and mighty presence. I don't blame him at all for hanging the test results up where his parents can see them. He should hold his ground to prove the point of how inconsiderate they continue to be. If I were him though I would definitely take the test results down before his son is old enough to understand what they represent. He is an innocent child and doesn't need to be dragged into the situation.

patricia_keith avatar
Patricia Keith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What matter's is the bond between you and your wife and to make a home for your child.There are probably skeletons in your mom's closet and your dad's and who cares about your brother he probably doesn't even know what day it is or time of day let him do his thing and your parents do their thing and you focus on your family don't let others bring you down.They are judgemental about your wife's work performance and they will always have a bad opinion of her

slw303 avatar
SuePrew
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but, you made your point, time to take it down and move on.

judytakacs avatar
Judy Takács
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do your parents deserve this? Absolutely! What they did was unconscionable. Does your wife deserve this? She says she doesn't mind, but at some point she might get tired of the story being repeated, and then it would be her right to take it down, and you should be fine with it. Does your son deserve it? No. Not one bit. He's yours…both of yours. For his sake, you should take it down. Keep it though, and tell him the story as needed, if needed.

silverskycloud avatar
SilverSkyCloud
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

its ALWAYS refreshing to hear about a husband that doesnt have his balls still in his mommy's purse

papalih avatar
Sarkastika Bombastika
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

he should take it down but if anyone brings up the wife's past ever again than they should go NC on the family.

frozenwaters890 avatar
Luke Oakridge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If every child was tested to see who their biological parents were when they were born, this wouldn't be an issue. The parents would be able to know that the grandchild was theirs and they wouldn't need to miss the wedding over it. The wife's family always knows that the child born to her is biologically hers. The husband's family should have the same knowledge through the automatic genetic tests for the baby. Then the whole fact of her being a sex worker wouldn't even come up since every birth would show who the biological parents are so the grandparents wouldn't even need to ask.

norma-ellen avatar
Norma Reid-Hunt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get rid of that thing. I would not say anything too my husband but it would be hurting my heart any tine I saw it. I would not ever be cozy with that family but concentrate on my own. Your wie must be a gem to to have not let.

jo91150 avatar
Joanne Hudson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That document hanging on the wall is called "insurance". For the immediate future, it will serve as a reminder of (hopefully) their lowest moment so they don't repeat it. Who knows, maybe it'll need to come back out if your son is gay..

geordiemcdougall avatar
GMc
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not petty. I would have made the DNA test my Christmas card and mailed it to everyone. Making sure to note that your parents demanded it be done to accept your child. Heck, I would have had a few hundred extra printed and sent a copy to their neighbours, local corner stores, gas stations, parents work / coworkers, that type of thing.

erinmartin_1 avatar
Erin Martin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have come to an amends and moved on it's petty. If you squash it and then keep throwing in their face then it's not squashed. So in that respect it's petty really but people handle things differently so who am I to judge?

eriklaumets avatar
Erik Laumets
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom did the same thing to my brother. This chick he was sleeping with said the kid was his and he believed it. Hell I believed it. My mom did the test on the DL and guess what? It wasn't his. This is thread only exists b/c the parents were wrong.

patriciatorres avatar
patricia Torres
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think you are petty. I'm sure that your attempts to reassure them about the pregnancy was very hurtful for both you and your wife. One day your child will ask questions about your wedding whether or not that dna test is there still. You will have to be honest and your parents need to own up to their mistake. They also need to seriously apologize. No one is perfect and they certainly proved that to your wife. She worked to survive not for fun. I commend her on pushing through hardships and finding someone who sees the powerful woman she is. Congratulations on pushing forward because that is the best direction to go.

stephenrodrigues avatar
Stephen Rodrigues
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I kinda think OP was hoping for this reaction from his parents by them seeing the results/letter on the wall. If his parents saw the letter on the wall and then laughed about it, OP would probably be even more upset becuase he wanted to see a negative reaction from the parents. If the parents laughed and said "you should go to kinkos and get it enlarged in a big frame", OP would be more upset and then he would care less if the results/letter stayed on the wall. (Uno reverse card) He may even take the results/letter off the wall sooner becuase he got the opposite reaction from his parents from what he wanted.

mariegalloway73 avatar
Marie Galloway Daley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny, it's embarrassing that the dna test is on the wall and not because the did not attend their son's wedding.

beckyboat avatar
Becky Boat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents are clearly out of line. I do find it curious that you find it necessary to inform people that your wife is a former sex worker. I'm not judging her either about that either as I'm not really sure what a sex worker is. I do think it is odd that the only job she could find was as a sex worker though. It sounds like a horrible job.

sheilalitz avatar
Sheila Litz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In 1990, I met my now husband. We kept our relationship on the down low because it happened really fast. I was 24, he was 27. We met at the beginning of October and we were engaged and pregnant by January 91! My soon to be step mother in law had the audacity to ask if I was a hooker that my soon to be husband/ her stepson, met on a street corner and if she had to worry about hearing that the child was left abandoned in a trash can. Needless to say, she is not in our lives. My children do not know her and my grand children do not know her. My wonderful father in law passed away in 97 or we would have had to endure her company! We are still very happily married to this day. You do what feels right to you and everyone else be damned!

soulrider13 avatar
Heather W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sh*t, I would have paid for weekly singing telegrams describing the child's parentage. At least the 1st year. Then monthly the 2nd. Then every year on his birthday. Screw them.

janethowe_1 avatar
Janet Howe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I have mixed feelings about this. Your parents ought to be ashamed of them selves. I'm afraid they will always view your wife as a second class citizen. I feel bad for her.They're going to be missing out on some joyous times with the grandchild. That being said, you've proved your point to everyone. Now that they've seen the DNA test, I think it's time to remove it from the wall. Maybe then, your child can get to have a set of grandparents. If you've reconciled, let the issue rest. You have an opportunity to be the bigger man.

bfree43513 avatar
Robert Freeman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG, please let it go, life is to short carry bad feelings. Yes they might have been judgemental what parent isn't. My mom criticized my wife for 40 years, on her death bed she apologized and said I know I wasn't happy about your marriage but you married a good woman that raised your kids and took care of you. When you reach a point of losing a loved one ask of if hurting was all worth it?

kaitiyoder avatar
Kaiti Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But it was absolutely acceptable to let your wife be constantly hurt for 40 years? Good parents are not judgmental. The fact that you think that is acceptable is why you don't care that you stood by watching someone actively harm your wife. That is a horrible example to set for your children.

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Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With parents like the OP has, he should be the one asking for a DNA test. But looking forward, take it down. When the kid's old enough to read, this will raise questions that he in no sense should have to deal with. (Alternate plan, you'll take it down at your house if your parents will display it at theirs. After all, it was their idea - demand, in fact).

sparkle127-tl avatar
Trish L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude, your parents made a mistake, yeah.... BUT! Come on now, they ARE your parents-- they were merely looking out for YOUR WELL BEING. Considering the situation, it's only natural they'd be reluctant to believe that the baby was yours. After all, it's very easy for someone in a relationship to see through rose colored glasses. I'm sure they already deeply regret missing your nuptials. But to be fair, it's been well proven that someone working in that "industry" tends to go back when/ if financial woes arise. Think of your own son in the future, realistically. Take the facking thing down now, shred it, have a nice, long sit down with your parents & your wife to lay all cards on the table, dialogue like adults, and squash this ridiculous thing once and for all! Stop taking pride in being "petty". Again, your parents were in a position, rightfully so, where they were worried that you *WERE potentially being taken advantage of-- that came from a place of love. Time for love

ullahsandra avatar
Queenbee
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I recommended all my sons and brothers get Paternity tests because in many states if you claim a kid you are on the hook until the kids are 18, bio dad or not. It is not about about her past life per se more the acknowledgement thst women are often immoral, nasty and conniving these days. And hang it on any wall they like cuz I stand by my suggestion and would be more than fine sharing the reasons forvit

ullahsandra avatar
Queenbee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol. I font blame the guy for not taking it down and rubbing it in but I don't understand the embarrassment of the parents. As a person who may have suggested one of my sons get that test done also , if I questioned the girls morality..the fact he had it up as a conversation started would not bother me one bit .Yes I asked cuz as a former jo there od no way yo know what the heck you think is moral and have been up to..and I might ask for additional DNA tests for any other kids too but I never would have given an ultimatum. This is close to the story of my brother and his ( now ex wife) gf who used to be his side chick. She thought to impress me by telling me a male stripper asked for her phone # and she gave it to him..I told my brother. He confronted her and demanded the reciprocated number. She denied having it and said I lied on her. BUT 3 Others stepped up and agreed they saw the exchange too. Finally she handed over the paper. He stayed with her .

beatricesandoval avatar
Beatrice Sandoval
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As parents we want the best for our children and let’s be honest. All people judge those who claim they don’t are liars! Do you really want the whole family to know your wife was a s-x worker so they can judge her? They may not say anything but the looks will be noticeable. Your both wrong but maybe it’s time to move forward for your sons sake. After all he’s the most important blessing!

mattfromtinder avatar
Matt From Tinder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how they claim that the parents are "just human and humans are terrible" and then ignore entirely that the woman he married is also "just human". They act as though the mere act of being a female makes her infallible. Like we have never heard of a woman who let a man raise a child for decades and then found out the kid wasn't his. Do you have ANY idea how devastating that would be for that man? Or are we just not supposed to care because being promiscuous is magically seen as being a positive for women these days? Fun fact, ladies: you've ALWAYS controlled access to s*x. The reason there is a push to make promiscuity a net positive is because it's a negative to most men, who control access to relationships.

gregorytoma avatar
Gregory Toma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact of the matter is what the parents were worried about originally happens to many men all the time. It wasn't handled in the most tactful way, but they're concern for their son was not unwarranted. It's not like they did not like her because of her race or status in life, they were concerned for their son being duped into the marriage when they thought he may be being taken advantage of. Bottom line, they're concern wasn't ridiculous. They are your parents, and if you want to spoil your relationship with them now then don't be surprised when you need their help again later and they're not too keen to do it. Stop acting like a child and get over it and accept it for what it was. Or don't, and keep a rift between yourself and your parents because you happened to think it's worth it for your own amusement. What the parents do was not petty. When they found the truth they were willing to accept that they were wrong. What you are doing is petty and ill advised.

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xxbrokenobsidianxx avatar
jack0neko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Saw a notification saying this comment got an upvote, but when I checked it it said zero. So did someone like it but then unlike it or was it some glitch?

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donjuan avatar
Don Juan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents should put a picture of a sex worker on their wall, one of her if they have one.

kaitiyoder avatar
Kaiti Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok? Lol if you think that is a revenge idea, and wouldn't just continue to prove to everyone that they are idiotic, you may want to rethink that.

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Janice Parks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you marry her to deliberately upset your parents? If it was true love and you DO, in fact, want to move on and show people how mature you are then take it down. Stop sitting on the fence and making people guess at your sincerity. If you don’t want to take it down as a reminder then offer to visit them at their home but let them know you’re not taking it down at your house. Your anger hurts other people, too. Maybe ask for a real apology?

kaitiyoder avatar
Kaiti Yoder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Moving on does not mean the people in the wrong are no longer held accountable. They still indeed have to deal with the consequences of their idiotic actions.

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Martha Vazquez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sure they regret what they did, and which they could take it back, but they can’t. They lost a moment they can never recover, your wedding. I don’t know if you are Christian or not, but we need to let go of the pass and forgive.

williamsmith_8 avatar
William Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"my wife was a sex worker -- don't judge! She did what she had to do to survive!" As opposed to...getting a job? Sorry dude, you blew it +- I'd never marry a whore.

delete4life avatar
Delete 4 Life
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sex worker? The word you are looking for is "prostitute", "porn star", "hoeing for money"

davidbendall avatar
David Bendall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some women will date men, get pregnant by someone else then divorce the man and ask for alimoney and child support. They will bleed a decent man dry and repeat the process with other men. Your parents are older and wiser. Their advice was not unreasonable. Not all former sex workers are bad people nor are they all good. People in the sex industry are usually surrounded by people dealing drugs, human trafficking, the exploitation of children, etc. If not directly involved , they turn a blind eye, which reveals their basic character. Some people allow their idealistic views to blind them to reality. I have two relatives that I love dearly but will lie, con and steal anything for drug money. They done it for years to the entire family. It's a common trait among addicts just as there are common traits among sex workers. His parents were cautious, skeptical and concerned for their son ... and with good reason.

laurabamber avatar
The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I were the parents, I’d own it and call it “A Memorial to Looking AfterMy Son’s Interests” and ask for a copy for my own house. That would get him to take it down pretty quick.

kathygrimm avatar
Kathy Grimm
Community Member
1 year ago

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If my son married a "Sex Worker", if one prints the correct word for this job, it would get deleted . I wouldn't want him back in my house again.

dakotaball avatar
Fishbear
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do you care so much about your child's sex life? A little suspect to me...

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Cristina Dullanty
Community Member
1 year ago

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Just like your parents, you can't let go of the past either. At least your parents were able to admit they were wrong. When people ask about the framed test, do you also have to explain that your wife is an ex sex worker, too? Don't get me wrong, I see the humor in proving them wrong, but leaving it up seems kind of disrespectful, and not just to your parents.

misaonobaka avatar
setsuriseikou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only thing we know about his current situation is that he "made amends" with his parents and they "reconciled". I think this doesn't necessarily mean that any of them actually forgave the other party, they might just be on speaking (and apparently visiting) terms again, nothing more. Because there are some kinds of harm that can't be undone and/or forgiven. You say he cannot let go of the past. I say he might actually have evidence in the present that his parents still do not approve fully of his wife and kid, and that "the past" might happen again. And the framed test is there to remind the parents: "you say one more wrong word about my family, and we're cutting ties with you".

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BenMaharaj
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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Sounds like this guy hasn’t let this go despite them all reconciling. He is in the wrong on this. Forgiveness means letting it go. Not condoning what happened but moving forward. Accepting someone’s apology and then throwing the wrong in their face, not to mention bad mouthing them to others, is an injury all on it’s own. He should take it down.

tubjelly40 avatar
Jelly Tub
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Forgiveness means to accept that someone is sorry and say that it is in the past, but you can still be hurt by it. Also he never really said that they forgave each other, they could have just been on speaking and visiting terms

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