It can be quite astonishing what a simple ancestry DNA test can do. You order a kit, send in a simple saliva sample and your entire genome is checked over thousands of locations in order to reveal your ethnicity, genetic markers, relatives, and sometimes unexpected family secrets.
Finding out that you’re adopted or discovering a sibling that you never knew even existed sounds like something you see in the movies. But when Reddit user VideoFork asked, “People who have taken an ancestry DNA test and accidentally uncovered a family secret, what was it?“, thousands of replies started pouring in.
We have collected some of the most surprising comments from this viral thread, so continue scrolling! And if you have some family mysteries you want to share, don’t be shy and write them in a comment below.
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My son is my fourth cousin. We adopted him as an infant from an agency. Fun to find that we are actually related!
Bored Panda reached out to the author of this post, VideoFork, who was kind enough to share a few thoughts about ancestry DNA tests and the unexpected results some people receive. The user is not sure where they got the idea to start this viral thread, but guessed that it was probably from a video online. “The thing with r/AskReddit is it’s an open place but a lot of people’s personal stories don’t get heard because the topic may not suit them,” they explained.
They created the post because “we’ve all heard so many weird family stories (and I have many of my own) and with the addition of DNA Ancestry becoming easier for people to acquire, although still not cheap, you can find out crazy things about yourself and your family.”
I was adopted and always knew I was adopted. My parents told me that I came from a family that lived several towns over, and I was a surprise. When the tests came back, I found out I had a first cousin. I emailed them, started comparing notes, and wham! First, my biological mom was single. Second, I was not a late addition. I had four sisters and one brother. I was the baby, but only by a couple of years. Third, most all of them lived nearby.
Finally, nobody knew I was alive! My biological mom had passed. She had kept the pregnancy secret from everybody else. Before she died, she confided in one of my biological sisters that she had a baby a long time ago, and she had put the baby up for adoption. She told nobody else. When my sister told the rest of the family they didn't believe her! So when I finally looked them up, she was like, 'See! All those years! I told you so! We have a baby brother!' It was an amazing experience.
More than 30K members decided to share their interesting stories. When we asked the user why are others so interested in hearing them, they suggested that it might help people cope a little better. Some stories are worse than others, and “no one wants to say it but you always think somewhere deep down, ‘Wow at least that’s not me’.”
Of course, some of the members can be craving gossip, so for them the crazier the story, the better. However, more often than not, exchanging such experiences brings people together: “If you share a story about a part of your life that’s personal to you, you’re giving that part of yourself to help people to see that ’Hey, if this happened to me, then wow, you can deal with anything!’”
Being a white male raised in the south with some really racist family members they were shocked that we had 4 percent African in us.
Just goes to show you how stupid racism is.
I did the health DNA one 18 months ago because I wanted to see if I had the breast cancer gene, as there are several incidences on both sides of my family. Got my results and became very confused because it claimed I had no Italian despite my father's grandma literally coming over from Sicily in 1920. It took me a few minutes to realize what that actually meant. My parents have been together since my mother was 14, I was born when she was 17, and my father joined the military and married my mother. I called my mom and she literally said, 'That's interesting' and then she asked me not to talk to my father about it.
My sister ended up doing a DNA test and it showed that we were half siblings.
Looking into the past of your parents or grandparents can uncover hidden secrets which can be hard to accept. The user shared their personal experience of finding out something so unexpected that they had a difficult time handling it. It turns out that their grandfather sexually assaulted their grandmother way before they were born. VideoFork, who is now 23 years old, said that they do not wish to know any more details. The hardest thing was “that he died before I found out and I had known him all of my life and never saw a violent side to him.”
My grandmother is the world's sweetest person, and had a horrible horrible woman as a mother. Her father, though, was incredible. She always talks about how I remind her of him, the small and sweet things they did together, and how much she misses him. Recently, she told me that her mother would tell her "he isn't your real father, you know" whenever she felt like hurting my grandmother some more. This continued until the day she died, and her father escaped her mothers abuse, and never spoke to my grandmother again. My nana doesn't blame him at all, and still loves him very very much to this day.
She decided to go on Ancestry because she said that she needs to know before she dies, although she said it wouldn't change anything about how she felt about him.
Turns out, her mother was right. My grandmother found her biological family and loves to talk about her French heritage that she's now learning about. To this day, she doesn't hold anything against her non-biological dad.
He took care of my grandmother when her mother wouldn't, knowing it wasn't his child. He loved her, soothed her, and nurtured her through as if she was his own and he made sure thought she was. He saved my grandmothers spirit, ill tell you that much. He helped shape her into the most miraculous human being I've ever met.
To this day ill always refer to him as my great grandfather, and if I have a son ill be naming him after him. This story always gets me teary eyed, but the thought of Alistair, my nanas pretend dad, always makes me really happy. I know it makes her happy, too.
I found out I had a full 100% older brother.
My mother got pregnant by my father before they were married, which was scandalous in 1960. So, mom left town and lived with my aunt until the birth. She gave the baby up for adoption and then returned home. A couple of years later, she married my dad and had three more children together, including me. Fifty five years later, after both my parents had died, my aunt let it slip that me and my siblings were not the only children of our parents. My sister took a DNA test, and soon thereafter, we met our new big brother and his family and have become quite close.
“Finding out such jarring information about someone can cause ripples not just in the family but within you,” the user mentioned. And it can take a long time for it to settle. VideoFork said that if you decide to take an Ancestry DNA test with the intention of finding out family secrets, “you need to be prepared for the absolute worst thing you can think of and that won’t even start to fully imagine that gut punch.”
Found out I have a different father. My dad also took a DNA test at the same time and found out his father of 52 years was not his biological father either. As it turns out, I come from a line of bastards.
A few years ago my wife and I both took the 23 and Me test. One of her matches came back with 23%, which is high for someone non-family. She messaged him and they started talking. He was about 10 years older, said he was adopted, and the only thing he knew was some basic biological info. Because of his age, that would have meant her mom was about 14 when she had him, but her mom never said anything about it. She asked her youngest uncle and he said when he was a kid he remembered his sister going away for a few months because she was 'sick' and the family just pretended it never happened. So my wife now has a brother.
Genetic genealogist here. I have handled both volunteer cases and paid cases. The most shocking case I have seen was a person whose DNA led to his mother's admission that she was raped by her older brother. Very difficult situation for the family all around. The person who came to me ended up discovering their uncle was also their father.
I now warn clients, DNA can solve your cases, but they can also uncover difficult family secrets, so really think through the possibilities first.
Despite this, the user is glad that so many had the opportunity to share their stories: “It’s essentially just a question that anyone could ask but it’s good that … [some of] those 30K comments could have helped family members reunite, or people finding help for trauma that happened to them. And if one person feels better from it, then that’s fine by me.”
Found a new first cousin. My Dad's youngest sister had a child out of wedlock and gave her up for adoption. She reached out to me via Ancestry e-mail account and when I read her message I about fell out of my chair. She gave me her phone number and I left work so I could call her. When she answered the phone she just started crying. She never could find any connection to her Mother (my aunt) even though she had her name. She doesn't have any info on her Dad or his family. Her adoptive parents both died by the time she was 35 and she never had any children. So, other than her husband and his sister, she had no other family. I was able to inform her that she had a half sister and 2 half brothers and 5 cousins! Unforunately, her Mother had passed 7 years earlier.
After we hung up, I called her sister and gave her the news. She was totally shocked but reached out to her brothers and told them. they contact her the next day and it has been a happy connection.
It just so happened that I was traveling to her area for work 10 days later, so we met up. I couldn't stop starting at her while we talked because she looked just like her Mother and sister. No denying they were related.
We have visited her and kept in touch these past 2 years and exchanged presents. She is a truly wonderful person and I'm so happy that she has found a family connection with all of us.
I found a half sister that none of my siblings or mother knew about. My dad had an affair 50 years ago and is dead now. For us, it wasn't really a surprise, we already have a half-sister from another affair, but for the newly discovered one it answered a lot of questions and gave my mom some much needed closure. We all met a few times, it was pleasant.
My great-grandmother was always told by her foster family that she was given up because she was “a bad girl.” She took a DNA test and found she had five siblings. Her mother died and her dad was a blind immigrant. All his kids were taken from him because he couldn’t work and take care of them. She was reunited with three of her siblings before she died.
My aunt discovered that her mother cheated on her father and she was a product of that affair, meaning she was actually only half-siblings with her four siblings. The rub was that my aunt’s husband was married before he married her. The woman he was married to is the daughter of the man involved in the affair. So no one knew this, but my uncle got divorced and then married his ex-wife’s half-sister. I guess he has a type.
Not me, but a friend.
My friend (34F) decided to get her twin sister and parents a DNA testing kit for Christmas. When her parents opened the gift they looked at each other and said “Oh...thanks.” They quickly tried to move on to other presents. My friend was slightly confused, but dropped it.
Later they went for their Christmas Day walk. The mom and sister were walking ahead while she walked with her dad. Her dad spilled the beans! Her and her sister were adopted. The mother looked back and started crying - she couldn’t believe her husband told her daughter without them talking about it first. They were going to keep it a secret forever.
She had never suspected she or her sister were adopted because they look a lot like their parents. They are also very short, as are their parents.
Whoops!
I've never understood the whole "not telling kids they're adopted" thing. I get that you don't want them to feel less loved and less like family, but doesn't it just hurt more down the line to find out later?
And I totally get not telling them when they’re younger, and then not being sure when the right time to tell them is (like being a teenager is already hard enough without finding out you’re not related to your family at all, right?), but to decide to NEVER tell them is just cruel.
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Never lie to your children about their ancestry. It's a shitty thing to do. It happened to me, too, and it caused more trouble than one can bear. If I had known all this from the very beginning, I wouldn't have made those big mistakes based on untrue notions about myself. Never lie to your kids. It's not worth it because somehow someday they will find out, and trust me....it f*****g hurts.
There should never BE a "telling the child they're adopted" moment. It should be something the child has always known, because you've been sharing that knowledge in age-appropriate ways with them since before they were able to understand it. --adoptive mom
I'm adopted and I've always known. My parents used to read my brother (also adopted) books about adoption when we were little kids to help us understand. We were always told how special, wanted and loved we are. I think some families hid it in the past because there was a big stigma around women not being able to bear children - I know my mother has always felt 'less than' because she wasn't able to have kids naturally. Adoption can be terribly complicated for everyone involved because there are a lot of feelings that can be hurt - my birth mother found me (I was adopted under Closed Adoption laws, which were repealed years later) and it absolutely destroyed my adoptive mother. It still does. I now live two separate lives - adoptive family and biological family - and it really does take a toll on me mentally. In all honesty, I don't actually like most of my biological family, including my bio Mum and I don't really want to be part of that family. But what happened to my bio Mum because of the circumstances surrounding my birth was absolutely awful and I feel so guilty/sorry for her that I don't have the strength to turn her away. So, it is what it is. But for any parents out there who adopt, PLEASE tell your children right from the start. Adoption is nothing to be ashamed of and really is a beautiful thing!
I'm amazed kids come put as well as they do with parents that don't see how important it is to show kids the same respect we expect of them. Too bad your moms can't come together as friends. I would feel like I couldn't share moments with either mom and not have it be seen as a competition. If they put you in middle it's not an event I'd be looking forward to.
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My parents told my brother and me that we were adopted when he was 13 and I was 10. They might never have done so if a counselor that my brother was seeing hadn't said they should. My brother got really upset because of the secrecy thing. It is kind of hurtful being lied to about that for so many years.
I think adoptees always have a right to know. If nothing else, at least for medical history. Sure, some things can be filled in as unknown, but other issues can mean the difference between being aware to possibly catch something early on and deal with it, or not, and it being too late, because they had no idea. That already does happen, but preventative medicine can be better than corrective.
It always comes out! An honest & forthcoming way seems better than a deceptive, scandalous way.
My mom flipped out when I wanted to name my first son Paul. I found out I had a different father named Paul. Primitive religion is the cause of this stupidity.
I know of a case where the adoptee was contacted by the birth mother, they had not been told they were adopted. They had a suspicion and agreed to meet birth mother for a DNA, they are still in contact with the birth mother but are still struggling with the whole situation.
DNA test kit as a Christmas gift, what an idea🤔🤔 I feel like the sister who brought them had some suspicions.
Wow. why the hell would you withhold this from the children?!
As someone who did just this, not tell my son he was adopted by my husband ( he was my biological son) I wanted to tell him when he was like 18 and past the "your not my father, you can't tell me what to do" however I had kept his orginal Birth certificate in my cedar chest way at the bottom. Never under estimate nosy kids. he found it when he was like 13. but he really was never up set with us. To the day he died my husband felt he Was and always had been My sons father.
So does that mean they love them any less. Or that their biological mom didn't choose what was best for all. Secrets always have a way of not being a secret at some point. It's so much easier to tell the truth from the get go. No surprises or tears or keeping stories straight
I was adopted along with my biological sister at ages 3 & 4, and it was never a big deal. My parents had lots of foster children before me, they decided to adopt me after fostering, found out I had a sister in a separate foster home, and adopted us both together. They already had 3 sons (biological) before all of this. They CHOSE me. The woman who left us with a babysitter and never came back is irrelevant. I never felt "less than" and was never treated differently from my brothers. My SIL, however, has 2 adopted siblings who were aware and were treated differently, and it messed them up for life.
I used to be an instructor, and I was signing a kid and his dad in to an activity. Kid must have been about 5,and I think he had had the adoption talk fairly recently. He came straight out with 'I' m adopted-my mum and dad chose me from all of the other babies', or thereabouts. He seemed delighted. I hope he's still happy about it.
secrets are never a good idea. Kids are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. Been here and done this in my family more than I'd like to say, (but have). Those raised knowing the truth seem to have grown up happier and healthier.
90 % of the kids couldn't beat the shock, when they found that those who they think their parents are, actually approve parents. Those kids got mental health and stress issues etc
I wasted $ on 3 kits my family ignored for similar reasons! Half siblings and stuff
Regarding the whole "knowing you're adopted" my only through is "accurate family medical history?" In some cases it's probably safer to just have a lot of "I don't know"s on your chart than a noted family predisposition to (or against) something that won't actually affect you
That is not how it works. I suggest you research this topic. Adoption is not about the wellbeing of the parent. It is about the wellbeing of the child.
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My male cousin did one and found a female cousin we did not know about. He reached out to her and apparently our deceased uncle was good friends with her mother. Mom wanted a baby so uncle got her pregnant simply as a sperm donor. Female cousin lived a few blocks away from my grandmother. She had met her a few times going around selling Girl Scout cookies or something. My grandmother had no idea that she was buying cookies from her granddaughter.
My coworker found out he had a daughter from a girl he was with once at a party when he was 17. He is in his mid 30s, has a wife and children now. Turns out the mother died of cancer when his daughter was young and she was raised by her grandparents. They met and keep in contact now.
That my grandmother was biracial. She was abandoned shortly after birth at a church by an older white lady, adopted by a white farmer with 11 kids, and stopped talking to most of that family due to nondescript unpleasantness as an older teen. She died 20 years before I was born and looks like Maya Rudolph in the few photos I’ve seen, but insisted she was part-Sicilian.
Anyway, my mom got me a DNA test a few years ago. My grandmother was definitely half-Black, and I have no Sicilian or Italian DNA. I’ve connected with a few distant cousins over email and Zoom, am waiting for the pandemic to mostly end to talk to my dad about it and introduce him to more family.
Sadly this was likely about survival for both great grandma and grandma.
My wife was adopted at birth. This wasn't a secret, as she is brown raised by very white parents. But she lived her whole life thinking she was ethnically Hawaiian, as that was what her mother told her. She took a DNA test, not Hawaiian at all. It came back Native American (the Central America variety).
Flash forward a few years.
There was a falling out with her adoptive parents and communication was cut off. A match for a second cousin shows up one day and we decide to reach out. I figured it was a long shot, as odds are pretty strong a second cousin wouldn't know anything about an adoption 30+ years ago, but the 2nd cousin started asking her family about it and they all started taking DNA tests. Through this process we end up finding an Aunt who was able to help piece together who her biological father l
"...who her biological father likely is. Although he got deported to Guatemala years ago and they lost contact."
That my father is a registered sex offender.
My wife no longer knows who her father is. We are about to approach her mom about this, but that's a delicate relationship balance to approach due to her mom being very straight laced and proper.
Its shook my wife 45f entire foundation. She was from 6 generations of Texans....now she is lost. I don't know how to help her. She is not real interested in finding out who her real father is yet. She is also relieved because the man she thought was her father is a weird [jerk]. I wish her "dad" her moms current husband of 40 years was her real dad.....though he did legally "adopt" her years ago when the guy she thought was her dad abandoned her.
Its s mess. Hard pass on the DNA tests for me, I'm good being just 90% f**ked up.
Not to be rude, but I doubt anyone in the 6 generations of Texans is "100% Texan", and though I understand the wife's feeling of being lost, her mom is still part of the generation of Texans. It must be really hard, nonetheless.
I found out about my real father and three half siblings. It ended up being a really good discovery.
I have an uncle that was put up for adoption. He contacted my grandma and she thought he was going to extort her (they’re well off). Turns out he’s a multi, multi millionaire on his own.
They still have limited contact, though my dad has reached out and formed a relationship. Apparently they look exactly alike and have the same personality (which sounds kind of stupid now that I’m writing it out, but they’re only half-siblings).
Found out that my brother is only my half-brother. Our parents were never married, but my mom has insisted my whole life that my dad is my brother's dad. He never acknowledged my brother — claiming that the man my mom was living with at the time was probably his father. My mom has always said the other fellow was simply her roommate.
Poor brother. Imagine being a little kid and wanting your dad to love you, being rejected by the man your mom insists is your dad because he knows better and never knowing your real dad cause your mother insisted he was just a roommate. All the while older brother gets doted on by dad.
My uncle took the test and found a brother and a sister that were given up for adoption, but the family had been told that they died during childbirth.
My grandma died before they did the ancestry test and my grandfather was on his death bed when the first "lost sibling" was discovered. He died and no one brought up to him that they found them and we all met her at his funeral. She is the youngest of all the siblings.
The second lost sibling was found a couple years after that and it turns out he is the oldest of all 10 kids my grandma birthed. We have no idea her reasons for giving her first and last born babies up. Obviously she never thought anyone would find out.
It's entirely possible the hospital stole them and told her they died. This was more common with single mothers but was also done to poorer families too
I took a DNA test and found I am ethnically 25% Ashkenazi Jew. After eight months of serious digging, I found out my grandpa is not my father’s biological father.
Mother's side or father's side? I am assuming based on the above mention of Grandpa etc that it's father's side. If so, unfortunately the Jewish community won't recognise you on those grounds, my understanding is you have to be jewish on the mother's side. "Nobody's poifect" - Judd Seymore Hirsch
My wife is adopted, but found her biological mom and did one of the genetic tests. Someone matched with her and asked if she knew such and such a name. She found out her dad wasn't her biological dad, but he was actually her mom's boss.
A long lost relative contacted me. He is the same age as my dad and looked straight up related. He was adopted and wanted to connect with his birth family. Long story short, I found out that my grandfather had an affair with my great aunt and they put the baby up for adoption. My great aunt went away while she was pregnant and came back with no baby. It was the 60s. The family was freaking out about it trying to keep it all hush hush. I felt bad for the guy so I did my best to help him out. So technically, he's my uncle/cousin. And we live in kentucky, which makes it even funnier.
My ex-husband's family were proud of their Dutch heritage and claimed to be one of the founding families of the historically Dutch Holland, MI. His ancestry results didn't show any Dutch ancestry. Instead, he had primarily English/Irish ancestry.
And it's not possible they migrated to Holland before migrating to US?
My grandma found out her two sisters are actually only half sisters.
After some snooping she comes to find out that her real dad was the guy who owned the corner store where her mom worked growing up.
My FIL found out hes the milkmans son so to speak and everyone else including his sister knew. It explained why they treat his wife and kids like black sheep.
What do the wife and kids have to do with the FIL being the milkmans son?
A friend discovered that her father was not really her father. Her mom had an affair and she was the result. It tore her family apart. Her father did not know he was not really her father.
Note: this post originally had 65 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
A lot of these seem like secrets better left buried. And a memorial to the horrible effects social conservatism ( racism, prejudice against single mothers, unwed couples etc) has on families
Not really a scandal, I found out I have a second cousin who was born out of wedlock while his father was working on the railroad (all the livelong day). The father (my great-uncle) wasn’t married at the time, but this was like in the 50s so that’s juicy. Also for a not scandal, I did ancestry dna and proved I’m my father’s daughter lmao. He insisted I wasn’t his like right before I was born - rude - and a nurse said I looked just like him when I was born, and now I have the dna evidence lol. He’s never messaged me, and that’s fine. D**k.
I am always torn with these stories. I mean, what right do you have to mess with other people's lives? Is it worth it destroying other's marriages? If it's your parents, it's one thing. It directly affects you if you dad is not your bio dad. But messing with your grandparents' long buried secrets, ripping open old wounds, retraumatizing raped or abused family members... I don't know.
This is why I've decided not to do one of these tests. My idle curiosity isn't enough of a reason to potentially expose extended family to distress.
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Not that I'm lazy but these kind of posts should be images or maps instead. I got bored and stop reading in the 3rd or 4th time I got lost into mother's uncle's second wife's 5th son's cat found out his cousin's math teacher's milkman best fiend turned out to be his grand grandson
Interesting how ancestry tests can show that your intuition that you're "different" may be super accurate, and that you may in fact be adopted or have been produced by different parent/s to those who you thought were your parents. I'm 100% confident about my own because we have such idiosyncratic features that they're unmistakably genetic. In fact if I see a photo of my dad from the 1970s it could easily be me now. But, on the racism thing- . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvS2gjMMXBQ
These DNA tests make companies rich and have access to your most private data and only open pandoras boxes for everyone particularly mothers. No mother is going to talk her kids she was raped or coerced 40 years ago so you have to pretend it was an affair. I don't see why everyone needs to know their distant relative who 9 times our of 10 will only ask you for money. Americans who want to pretend they're European by looking up their heritage. All these tests prove what we already knew, that blood is not thicker than water.
I'm actually rather glad that the whole 'hide the baby' portion of US history is pretty much impossible to continue. Trying to bury the family secret never works out well.
I can start with this: Found out that our "Welsh" ancestry was Native American. The Great-greats decided to pass their kids as white in a US Census to save them from the late 1800's US idea of morality...But I won't check for Lost Relatives. My late father was enough of a sh*t. I don't want to know if he cheated on my mom. That said, it's a non-secret secret that my dad's oldest brother has the same father on paper, but in reality, everyone knows it was someone else, and that's that. So technically the husband of my second cousin's mother is the father of my uncle. No, we're nto from Kentucky.
23 & Me tests over here. Found out my older brother is actually my half brother. We're not telling my dad. Mom's long dead so we can't ask her. I did speak to my mother's sister to see if she knew; my aunt said no, but that she & my grandmother always wondered. My brother has been contacted by his half sisters on the other side, but they won't let him contact his bio dad because apparently he's really sick & we don't know from what. My brother isn't pursuing this any further and, well, that's his choice and I support him.
Also I'm pretty sure that my 70 year old father isn't on Bored Panda since he only seems to use his computer for playing mah-jongg and watching metal detecting videos, otherwise I wouldn't have posted this.
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When my (divorced) mother got really angry with us kids, she'd say something like, "I should have stayed with my first husband." Afterward she'd refuse to talk about it, so we didn't know if she'd really been married before or not. Needless to say, I didn't like her. Then my sister did a DNA test and discovered a half-sister. Yes, apparently mom had a daughter before she met our dad. I found it interesting, and was happy to get that mystery cleared up. Didn't like her before, didn't like her after. Catholism and the conservative 1950s probably caused part of it, so I'm happy these times are past.
It wasn't from a DNA test but my mother discovered some unexpected surprises. My grandma grew up in South Dakota and proudly told everyone that her grandfather, who she never met, was John Swift Fox, a Sioux Indian scout. When I was in HS, my mom got into genealogy and discovered a twist. He was an Irish immigrant who worked as a civilian scout with the US Army to find and kill the Sioux. His parents named him after the Irish Satirist, Johnathan Swift. When my mom confronted grandma, she was flabbergasted that anyone would think we had Indian blood. Grandma thought when she was bragging about her grandfather, everyone just knew he was helping kill the Indians because no one would admit to having non-White blood. My mom converted to the Society of Friends (Quakers) and had been a pastor for about a year when she picked up the genealogy hobby. Turns out we have a common ancestor with the founder of the faith, George Fox.
I'm never going to take a commercial DNA test: storing my information on some whacky server waiting to either be hacked, leaked or bought by God-knows-who (insurance companies would kill for this kind of data).
Growing up my father always said he was a mutt and acted proud of it. He said he was, English, Irish, Scottish, German, French, Russian, and Hungarian. I thought he was full of it. On my mom's side, I was told my grandfather was French (he was fluent) and my grandmother was Polish (she was fluent). Took a DNA test! Turns out my father wasn't kidding. Oddly though, there was no French in the test. Not sure what's going on there. Unrelated, when I was in my late 20's and after my mom had passed my dad started getting daily phone calls. He had no friends or living relatives I knew of so I grabbed the phone one day and demanded to know who it was. She responded she was his wife!!! After some probing, it turns out she was his FIRST wife! I never knew he had one. The interesting part? I have 2 older sisters and my oldest doesn't look like us two! I still don't know what to do with that info and I'm 60 now...
These tests cannot be absolute. I have read of identical twins (known form birth) that got different read outs. And at most these tests do NOT test for individuals, but actual 'race'.
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I took a DNA test a year and a half ago. Saw 35% Swedish in my results and knew neither parent had any. Scrolled down to my matches and only saw my mom. I called her at two in the morning to ask who the heck my dad was. I knew they’d gone to a fertility clinic because my mom had several miscarriages. Never knew my dad’s swimmers had any issues. Back in those days they would mix donor sperm with the hopeful father’s so you could hope the kid was the father’s/ wouldn’t know for sure. My dad actually bought the DNA test for me and hoped he was actually my dad. Didn’t prepare me in the slightest for my shocking results. I also matched with three half siblings and ended up talking to one who lived nearby on the phone later that day. We ended up meeting like two days later and spent four hours just talking and staring at our matching dimples and smiles. We look a lot alike but the other siblings don’t, so she was equally as shocked to have a conversation/ meet someone who looked like her.
Ran out of space! Lol. In the last year and a half we’ve gotten risk I lose. Spent a week in an Airbnb at the halfway point of where we all live over the summer and celebrated our birthdays together twice. It’s literally been the greatest gift to find them, they’re like the piece of me I didn’t know what missing but I feel so complete now with them in my life.
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There is a chart on the 23andMe site that lists the range of DNA percentages that you share with various relatives. There's a bit of overlap between many of the categories. __ https://customercare.23andme.com/hc/en-us/articles/212170668-Average-percent-DNA-shared-between-relatives
Not sure why folks would pay good money to give their genomic sequence to a company who can use or sell it to whoever they wish, especially considering the above stories
About something claiming they are from a certain country and DNA shows otherwise... Your family can still have lived in that country for a /some generations. DNA doesn't show where someone has lived. When you are born in the Netherlands, Italian parents who moved there, you have the Dutch nationality / are Dutch. Same for the partner, so those two have no bloodlines from the Netherlands and have kids. Who feel totally Dutch.
I was contacted through Ancestory by a young man who thought I might be his aunt. I was actually noted as a 3rd or 4th cousin. He was looking for his biological father. I wracked my brain trying to help him. He looked more like the Spanish side of my family by marriage. I gave him some possible places to look. Then I heard nothing more from him. Made me feel sad that I couldn't help more, and he might never find out.
Ancestry.com is having a sale on their DNA kits, and I'm trying to decide if I want to get one. I'm adopted and know only my bio-mom's name. Not sure if it's her maiden or married name, but I've done some research on it and come up with nothing. It'd be cool to meet some close blood relatives, but OTOH I don't need any psycho or leechy relatives in my life. But OTOH, maybe I'd be the weird one in their life!
Just my humble opinion, Before you go looking, think about ALL of the consiquenses. How will your mom and dad feel about it? They might say one thing, but it might actually feel like a slap to them (they are the ones who truly love you). You might find that you are not a product of love, but of confusion or worse. It would be so cool to have a "family" of millionaires, or even cool people... but what if you found that your bloodline is criminals and drug addicts. I understand the need for medical information... but think long and hard before opening up that can of worms.
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People who run DNA tests need to expect honesty and realize that family secrets and cover ups of information about the family can get blown out of the water. DNA searches can reveal things like: * Biological Parents and Siblings of people who were adopted or were in foster care * People born to others and that they were living with a step parent all their lives * Family branches that were severed due to past lovers * Parents of people switched at birth * Siblings of separated families * And a variety of other complicated family situations and secrets that may have been covered up.
My sister and I have only one first cousin on my dad's side. Many years ago, while both of us were in high school we met someone who looked like a carbon copy of our dad. We both were very scared about what that could mean but my sister, being the nosey brat she was (and still is), eventually just came right out and asked him who his dad was. We forget that my dad's brother looks exactly like him, just skinnier. My dad knows about his nephew and has apparently helped out when needed, but because my uncle is basically a deadbeat and my dad has very little contact with his brother (I think I last saw him well over ten years ago, I have no idea if he's even alive), it's been ruled by all parties involved not to tell my uncle about him, the kid would not have benefited having his father in his life. We know one day my uncle will probably find out. But it isn't up to us.
All I've learned from my test is that I have many third and fourth cousins. That means shared great-great-great grandparents. Don't even know who they were. No real connections. Not a problem.
Lucky you. I did a DNA test and found our exactly what I knew anyway! Interesting though because we always thought that my husband might be part Indian, (because his grandfather was Indian Army and he is swarthy and had been mistaken by Indians as Indian). Nup! Turns out he is mostly Scottish (which explains the bushy eyebrows) and English
My book club read "The Stranger in My Genes", which is the story of journalist Bill Griffeth making a discovery like this: his biological father was actually someone his mother worked for, not the man who raised him (and whom he idolized). He did a good job of discussing what it was like to find out about a secret like this. Our take away was: unless you are very, very sure about your family, it might be better to just skip that DNA test. You might be unpleasantly surprised.
My mom was adopted I did a DNA test and found out that her adopted parents were her grandparents. At least one is a grandparent and the other is a step grandparent.
I don’t think people should be doing this honestly. Let people have their secrets. Nothing is private anymore.
my Mom was adopted. After her Mom died she met a woman who traced biological parents/children who were adopted. We met my bio grandmother when my Mom was 50. She is a clone of her BioMother [other than Mom having Blue eyes] My Grandmothers' husband totally accepted all of us into his family, a truly Big Hearted Man. Grandma had gotten pregnant at 16 so was sent out of town to have my Mom. My family are truly the bastard relations but have been totally accepted and included into my Grandmothers family. Ours is a really wonderful experience and adventure. There are Happy Endings for some of these stories, we are one of them. Also, it turns out my BioGrandfather was making babies all over town. Five years ago we learned of his 13th and 14th bio children via DNA testing. My Mom who was raised with 1 brother [also adopted] now has 5 maternal siblings and 13 paternal siblings.
In biology class in the early seventies the teacher told us that two blue eyed parents could not produce a brown eyed child. One of my classmates challenged her and said that both of her parents had blue eyes. Stupid and insensitive teacher said to this fourteen year old girl "Then they are not your parents". The girl fainted and smashed her face on the corner of the stone lab counter on the way down. She was taken to hospital and never came back to the school, but I heard from one of her friends that her parents divorced. Hopefully this wouldn't happen now.
Think of what these tests could do to royalty. What if queen Elizabeth (or anyone in her past) had cheated and the crown passed along to people who were not part of the bloodline.
Royal have always lived in the glare of constant public attention. Kings and princes messed around and produced out-of-wedlock children all the time, but the women couldn't have done that and hidden it for long.
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My brother and his wife gave my elderly mother one of these tests. Put a stop to that immediately knowing full well they were using her for their own benefit.
My biological mother had me when she was 14 after being…well you can guess. I was raised by my biological mothers aunt and uncle so grew up thinking of my biological mum and biological grandparents as cousin and aunt and uncle. I found out the truth via a slip of the tongue by a distant relative at a family wedding when I was 34 (just a few years ago) part of me wishes idve known sooner as although I was solved I never felt at home with my parents but always felt a pull towards my biological mum and her family. But another part of me feels ignorance is bliss, especially now that my children have three sets of grandparents, sometimes the mess created is bigger than the benefit gained
I know it is better to keep my mouth, but ❤.Life is tough.
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There are some cool things that genetic testing has taught me and my family. First of all, that I'm half Viking, and it comes from both sides of my family. That was a joy, since I've been Viking-obsessed since I was a small child. I found a brother given up for adoption, but he wasn't interested, but I have a lovely relationship with his daughter, my niece. And lastly, I found out who my paternal grandfather was. Nobody could say. Nobody would say, but now I have a name and some other relatives.
This wasn't uncovered by an ancestry test, but is an interesting & related story nonetheless. My dad was raised by his single mom, and always knew growing up that his father (let's say Frank) had gone on to have another family. They didn't keep in touch, and Frank never told his kids about my dad so although my dad saw the family pop in the newspaper or whatever over the years, he didn't reach out because he didn't believe it was his place to spill the secret. Well, about a year ago Frank was in declining health and his (new) wife decided to tell the kids. I say kids, but they were all in their 50s and 60s. They tracked my dad down and reached out to him and everyone's been swapping stories and emails like crazy since then. Can you imagine being in your 60s and suddenly finding out you have a half-brother and half-nephews/nieces and just this whole hidden side of your dad. (Nobody knows why Frank wanted it kept secret. He and my grandma were married at the time, but very very young.)
We have always known my little sister didnt have the same dad, because my father was murdered when I was just a couple months old. She took a DNA test and it turns out the man that my mom had always thought was her dad was not in fact her dad. I guess my mom was dating the real dad and they split up and she meet the new guy she had always thought was my sisters father. Well my sister got connected to his family through the DNA test. He was surprised to find out about her and has refused any contact with her. I am not sure if he thinks she wants something from him but she is 42 years old and has a great life and I am very sad for her that he will never take the opportunity to see what an amazing person she is. We have a younger brother also with a different dad but we have and would never see each other as half siblings.
I keep getting notifications that they've found another 'close' relative, At first I contacted them but got no replay. Then I thought -- who cares! I don't keep in touch with my own cousins, or every niece and nephew etc. I was far more interested in my ancestors than my distant cousins.
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Geez, I kinda accept what my parents told me as the Gospel Truth. (Pops is still alive at age 87.) I look like my maternal grandfather, and I've stood on our ancestral homeland in Manila. My son is adopted - and he's known since he was old enough to understand what "adopted" meant. Nevertheless - these are interesting stories.
The dark side of DNA testing :: An 85 year old man had his DNA done and contacted two distant cousins of mine that he was supposedly related to. My family (great aunts, first cousins, second cousins, etc.) set up a dinner to welcome this man who we had never met or heard of. He was impeccably dressed, carried himself well, drove a late model luxury car. He was adopted and was seeking his blood family. He and his wife had had foster children in their home. Sounded all good, altho I noticed a weird darkness in his eyes that I couldn't place. A couple weeks later, my cousin called me and said, "Look up _____________ on google. I'm not going to say why". Holy s**t...this man had recently been convicted of being a paedophile, of molesting young boys. WTF????? There he was, his photo, in prison orange. He'd been convicted of life in prison. At 85. When we had the dinner for him, he had already been convicted. He had a foster home. Do the math. Beyond horrible...those kids.
A man, 85 years old, had his dna done and found several members of my dad's side of the family were related to him. Turns out he was adopted and wanted to find his blood family. He contacted one of them, a distant cousin of mine, and my family set up a nice dinner to welcome him. He was impeccably dressed, drove a late model Infiniti. All good, we thought. (We, up to this point knew nothing of his past, except that he had brought foster children into his own immediate family.) The week after the dinner reunion, my cousin called me and said "Look up _________ on google". Wellll.......there he was. A paedophile sentenced to life in prison. And he had a foster home. Do the math. When we had the dinner, he had already been sentenced, but we didn't know. Looking back, he was closed-hearted and there was a creepy vibe when I looked in his eyes. We, the family, are horrified, naturally. Maybe, sometimes, you don't want to know.
Some lady in the air force got prego by my dad to get out of it. Never told him. 16 years later she hits him up for child support cause her husband divorced her. I have a little sister I've never met, my dad is keeping it that way till she wants to find him because he has no idea what this little girl has been told. I applaud him for that.
I once read news thats really blow ups in my country.. man about to be married.. when the family gather before the ceremony, they bring out old family photos. One old aunty recognize 1 of the old photo, and ask the groom, 'who is this.. he said it's his late grandfather - his mom mother.. but the aunty - his father's sister said, no! that's my father.. turns out his mother & father are half-siblings.. the grandfather who was a truck driver, got married while his away on he job and never tell anybody.. and then left that family.. the groom father & mother were so devastated.. coz they've been married for 24 years, and have 7 children together.. the ceremony got postponed...
A lot of these seem like secrets better left buried. And a memorial to the horrible effects social conservatism ( racism, prejudice against single mothers, unwed couples etc) has on families
Not really a scandal, I found out I have a second cousin who was born out of wedlock while his father was working on the railroad (all the livelong day). The father (my great-uncle) wasn’t married at the time, but this was like in the 50s so that’s juicy. Also for a not scandal, I did ancestry dna and proved I’m my father’s daughter lmao. He insisted I wasn’t his like right before I was born - rude - and a nurse said I looked just like him when I was born, and now I have the dna evidence lol. He’s never messaged me, and that’s fine. D**k.
I am always torn with these stories. I mean, what right do you have to mess with other people's lives? Is it worth it destroying other's marriages? If it's your parents, it's one thing. It directly affects you if you dad is not your bio dad. But messing with your grandparents' long buried secrets, ripping open old wounds, retraumatizing raped or abused family members... I don't know.
This is why I've decided not to do one of these tests. My idle curiosity isn't enough of a reason to potentially expose extended family to distress.
Load More Replies... Not that I'm lazy but these kind of posts should be images or maps instead. I got bored and stop reading in the 3rd or 4th time I got lost into mother's uncle's second wife's 5th son's cat found out his cousin's math teacher's milkman best fiend turned out to be his grand grandson
Interesting how ancestry tests can show that your intuition that you're "different" may be super accurate, and that you may in fact be adopted or have been produced by different parent/s to those who you thought were your parents. I'm 100% confident about my own because we have such idiosyncratic features that they're unmistakably genetic. In fact if I see a photo of my dad from the 1970s it could easily be me now. But, on the racism thing- . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvS2gjMMXBQ
These DNA tests make companies rich and have access to your most private data and only open pandoras boxes for everyone particularly mothers. No mother is going to talk her kids she was raped or coerced 40 years ago so you have to pretend it was an affair. I don't see why everyone needs to know their distant relative who 9 times our of 10 will only ask you for money. Americans who want to pretend they're European by looking up their heritage. All these tests prove what we already knew, that blood is not thicker than water.
I'm actually rather glad that the whole 'hide the baby' portion of US history is pretty much impossible to continue. Trying to bury the family secret never works out well.
I can start with this: Found out that our "Welsh" ancestry was Native American. The Great-greats decided to pass their kids as white in a US Census to save them from the late 1800's US idea of morality...But I won't check for Lost Relatives. My late father was enough of a sh*t. I don't want to know if he cheated on my mom. That said, it's a non-secret secret that my dad's oldest brother has the same father on paper, but in reality, everyone knows it was someone else, and that's that. So technically the husband of my second cousin's mother is the father of my uncle. No, we're nto from Kentucky.
23 & Me tests over here. Found out my older brother is actually my half brother. We're not telling my dad. Mom's long dead so we can't ask her. I did speak to my mother's sister to see if she knew; my aunt said no, but that she & my grandmother always wondered. My brother has been contacted by his half sisters on the other side, but they won't let him contact his bio dad because apparently he's really sick & we don't know from what. My brother isn't pursuing this any further and, well, that's his choice and I support him.
Also I'm pretty sure that my 70 year old father isn't on Bored Panda since he only seems to use his computer for playing mah-jongg and watching metal detecting videos, otherwise I wouldn't have posted this.
Load More Replies... When my (divorced) mother got really angry with us kids, she'd say something like, "I should have stayed with my first husband." Afterward she'd refuse to talk about it, so we didn't know if she'd really been married before or not. Needless to say, I didn't like her. Then my sister did a DNA test and discovered a half-sister. Yes, apparently mom had a daughter before she met our dad. I found it interesting, and was happy to get that mystery cleared up. Didn't like her before, didn't like her after. Catholism and the conservative 1950s probably caused part of it, so I'm happy these times are past.
It wasn't from a DNA test but my mother discovered some unexpected surprises. My grandma grew up in South Dakota and proudly told everyone that her grandfather, who she never met, was John Swift Fox, a Sioux Indian scout. When I was in HS, my mom got into genealogy and discovered a twist. He was an Irish immigrant who worked as a civilian scout with the US Army to find and kill the Sioux. His parents named him after the Irish Satirist, Johnathan Swift. When my mom confronted grandma, she was flabbergasted that anyone would think we had Indian blood. Grandma thought when she was bragging about her grandfather, everyone just knew he was helping kill the Indians because no one would admit to having non-White blood. My mom converted to the Society of Friends (Quakers) and had been a pastor for about a year when she picked up the genealogy hobby. Turns out we have a common ancestor with the founder of the faith, George Fox.
I'm never going to take a commercial DNA test: storing my information on some whacky server waiting to either be hacked, leaked or bought by God-knows-who (insurance companies would kill for this kind of data).
Growing up my father always said he was a mutt and acted proud of it. He said he was, English, Irish, Scottish, German, French, Russian, and Hungarian. I thought he was full of it. On my mom's side, I was told my grandfather was French (he was fluent) and my grandmother was Polish (she was fluent). Took a DNA test! Turns out my father wasn't kidding. Oddly though, there was no French in the test. Not sure what's going on there. Unrelated, when I was in my late 20's and after my mom had passed my dad started getting daily phone calls. He had no friends or living relatives I knew of so I grabbed the phone one day and demanded to know who it was. She responded she was his wife!!! After some probing, it turns out she was his FIRST wife! I never knew he had one. The interesting part? I have 2 older sisters and my oldest doesn't look like us two! I still don't know what to do with that info and I'm 60 now...
These tests cannot be absolute. I have read of identical twins (known form birth) that got different read outs. And at most these tests do NOT test for individuals, but actual 'race'.
Load More Replies... I took a DNA test a year and a half ago. Saw 35% Swedish in my results and knew neither parent had any. Scrolled down to my matches and only saw my mom. I called her at two in the morning to ask who the heck my dad was. I knew they’d gone to a fertility clinic because my mom had several miscarriages. Never knew my dad’s swimmers had any issues. Back in those days they would mix donor sperm with the hopeful father’s so you could hope the kid was the father’s/ wouldn’t know for sure. My dad actually bought the DNA test for me and hoped he was actually my dad. Didn’t prepare me in the slightest for my shocking results. I also matched with three half siblings and ended up talking to one who lived nearby on the phone later that day. We ended up meeting like two days later and spent four hours just talking and staring at our matching dimples and smiles. We look a lot alike but the other siblings don’t, so she was equally as shocked to have a conversation/ meet someone who looked like her.
Ran out of space! Lol. In the last year and a half we’ve gotten risk I lose. Spent a week in an Airbnb at the halfway point of where we all live over the summer and celebrated our birthdays together twice. It’s literally been the greatest gift to find them, they’re like the piece of me I didn’t know what missing but I feel so complete now with them in my life.
Load More Replies... There is a chart on the 23andMe site that lists the range of DNA percentages that you share with various relatives. There's a bit of overlap between many of the categories. __ https://customercare.23andme.com/hc/en-us/articles/212170668-Average-percent-DNA-shared-between-relatives
Not sure why folks would pay good money to give their genomic sequence to a company who can use or sell it to whoever they wish, especially considering the above stories
About something claiming they are from a certain country and DNA shows otherwise... Your family can still have lived in that country for a /some generations. DNA doesn't show where someone has lived. When you are born in the Netherlands, Italian parents who moved there, you have the Dutch nationality / are Dutch. Same for the partner, so those two have no bloodlines from the Netherlands and have kids. Who feel totally Dutch.
I was contacted through Ancestory by a young man who thought I might be his aunt. I was actually noted as a 3rd or 4th cousin. He was looking for his biological father. I wracked my brain trying to help him. He looked more like the Spanish side of my family by marriage. I gave him some possible places to look. Then I heard nothing more from him. Made me feel sad that I couldn't help more, and he might never find out.
Ancestry.com is having a sale on their DNA kits, and I'm trying to decide if I want to get one. I'm adopted and know only my bio-mom's name. Not sure if it's her maiden or married name, but I've done some research on it and come up with nothing. It'd be cool to meet some close blood relatives, but OTOH I don't need any psycho or leechy relatives in my life. But OTOH, maybe I'd be the weird one in their life!
Just my humble opinion, Before you go looking, think about ALL of the consiquenses. How will your mom and dad feel about it? They might say one thing, but it might actually feel like a slap to them (they are the ones who truly love you). You might find that you are not a product of love, but of confusion or worse. It would be so cool to have a "family" of millionaires, or even cool people... but what if you found that your bloodline is criminals and drug addicts. I understand the need for medical information... but think long and hard before opening up that can of worms.
Load More Replies... People who run DNA tests need to expect honesty and realize that family secrets and cover ups of information about the family can get blown out of the water. DNA searches can reveal things like: * Biological Parents and Siblings of people who were adopted or were in foster care * People born to others and that they were living with a step parent all their lives * Family branches that were severed due to past lovers * Parents of people switched at birth * Siblings of separated families * And a variety of other complicated family situations and secrets that may have been covered up.
My sister and I have only one first cousin on my dad's side. Many years ago, while both of us were in high school we met someone who looked like a carbon copy of our dad. We both were very scared about what that could mean but my sister, being the nosey brat she was (and still is), eventually just came right out and asked him who his dad was. We forget that my dad's brother looks exactly like him, just skinnier. My dad knows about his nephew and has apparently helped out when needed, but because my uncle is basically a deadbeat and my dad has very little contact with his brother (I think I last saw him well over ten years ago, I have no idea if he's even alive), it's been ruled by all parties involved not to tell my uncle about him, the kid would not have benefited having his father in his life. We know one day my uncle will probably find out. But it isn't up to us.
All I've learned from my test is that I have many third and fourth cousins. That means shared great-great-great grandparents. Don't even know who they were. No real connections. Not a problem.
Lucky you. I did a DNA test and found our exactly what I knew anyway! Interesting though because we always thought that my husband might be part Indian, (because his grandfather was Indian Army and he is swarthy and had been mistaken by Indians as Indian). Nup! Turns out he is mostly Scottish (which explains the bushy eyebrows) and English
My book club read "The Stranger in My Genes", which is the story of journalist Bill Griffeth making a discovery like this: his biological father was actually someone his mother worked for, not the man who raised him (and whom he idolized). He did a good job of discussing what it was like to find out about a secret like this. Our take away was: unless you are very, very sure about your family, it might be better to just skip that DNA test. You might be unpleasantly surprised.
My mom was adopted I did a DNA test and found out that her adopted parents were her grandparents. At least one is a grandparent and the other is a step grandparent.
I don’t think people should be doing this honestly. Let people have their secrets. Nothing is private anymore.
my Mom was adopted. After her Mom died she met a woman who traced biological parents/children who were adopted. We met my bio grandmother when my Mom was 50. She is a clone of her BioMother [other than Mom having Blue eyes] My Grandmothers' husband totally accepted all of us into his family, a truly Big Hearted Man. Grandma had gotten pregnant at 16 so was sent out of town to have my Mom. My family are truly the bastard relations but have been totally accepted and included into my Grandmothers family. Ours is a really wonderful experience and adventure. There are Happy Endings for some of these stories, we are one of them. Also, it turns out my BioGrandfather was making babies all over town. Five years ago we learned of his 13th and 14th bio children via DNA testing. My Mom who was raised with 1 brother [also adopted] now has 5 maternal siblings and 13 paternal siblings.
In biology class in the early seventies the teacher told us that two blue eyed parents could not produce a brown eyed child. One of my classmates challenged her and said that both of her parents had blue eyes. Stupid and insensitive teacher said to this fourteen year old girl "Then they are not your parents". The girl fainted and smashed her face on the corner of the stone lab counter on the way down. She was taken to hospital and never came back to the school, but I heard from one of her friends that her parents divorced. Hopefully this wouldn't happen now.
Think of what these tests could do to royalty. What if queen Elizabeth (or anyone in her past) had cheated and the crown passed along to people who were not part of the bloodline.
Royal have always lived in the glare of constant public attention. Kings and princes messed around and produced out-of-wedlock children all the time, but the women couldn't have done that and hidden it for long.
Load More Replies... My brother and his wife gave my elderly mother one of these tests. Put a stop to that immediately knowing full well they were using her for their own benefit.
My biological mother had me when she was 14 after being…well you can guess. I was raised by my biological mothers aunt and uncle so grew up thinking of my biological mum and biological grandparents as cousin and aunt and uncle. I found out the truth via a slip of the tongue by a distant relative at a family wedding when I was 34 (just a few years ago) part of me wishes idve known sooner as although I was solved I never felt at home with my parents but always felt a pull towards my biological mum and her family. But another part of me feels ignorance is bliss, especially now that my children have three sets of grandparents, sometimes the mess created is bigger than the benefit gained
I know it is better to keep my mouth, but ❤.Life is tough.
Load More Replies... There are some cool things that genetic testing has taught me and my family. First of all, that I'm half Viking, and it comes from both sides of my family. That was a joy, since I've been Viking-obsessed since I was a small child. I found a brother given up for adoption, but he wasn't interested, but I have a lovely relationship with his daughter, my niece. And lastly, I found out who my paternal grandfather was. Nobody could say. Nobody would say, but now I have a name and some other relatives.
This wasn't uncovered by an ancestry test, but is an interesting & related story nonetheless. My dad was raised by his single mom, and always knew growing up that his father (let's say Frank) had gone on to have another family. They didn't keep in touch, and Frank never told his kids about my dad so although my dad saw the family pop in the newspaper or whatever over the years, he didn't reach out because he didn't believe it was his place to spill the secret. Well, about a year ago Frank was in declining health and his (new) wife decided to tell the kids. I say kids, but they were all in their 50s and 60s. They tracked my dad down and reached out to him and everyone's been swapping stories and emails like crazy since then. Can you imagine being in your 60s and suddenly finding out you have a half-brother and half-nephews/nieces and just this whole hidden side of your dad. (Nobody knows why Frank wanted it kept secret. He and my grandma were married at the time, but very very young.)
We have always known my little sister didnt have the same dad, because my father was murdered when I was just a couple months old. She took a DNA test and it turns out the man that my mom had always thought was her dad was not in fact her dad. I guess my mom was dating the real dad and they split up and she meet the new guy she had always thought was my sisters father. Well my sister got connected to his family through the DNA test. He was surprised to find out about her and has refused any contact with her. I am not sure if he thinks she wants something from him but she is 42 years old and has a great life and I am very sad for her that he will never take the opportunity to see what an amazing person she is. We have a younger brother also with a different dad but we have and would never see each other as half siblings.
I keep getting notifications that they've found another 'close' relative, At first I contacted them but got no replay. Then I thought -- who cares! I don't keep in touch with my own cousins, or every niece and nephew etc. I was far more interested in my ancestors than my distant cousins.
Load More Replies... Geez, I kinda accept what my parents told me as the Gospel Truth. (Pops is still alive at age 87.) I look like my maternal grandfather, and I've stood on our ancestral homeland in Manila. My son is adopted - and he's known since he was old enough to understand what "adopted" meant. Nevertheless - these are interesting stories.
The dark side of DNA testing :: An 85 year old man had his DNA done and contacted two distant cousins of mine that he was supposedly related to. My family (great aunts, first cousins, second cousins, etc.) set up a dinner to welcome this man who we had never met or heard of. He was impeccably dressed, carried himself well, drove a late model luxury car. He was adopted and was seeking his blood family. He and his wife had had foster children in their home. Sounded all good, altho I noticed a weird darkness in his eyes that I couldn't place. A couple weeks later, my cousin called me and said, "Look up _____________ on google. I'm not going to say why". Holy s**t...this man had recently been convicted of being a paedophile, of molesting young boys. WTF????? There he was, his photo, in prison orange. He'd been convicted of life in prison. At 85. When we had the dinner for him, he had already been convicted. He had a foster home. Do the math. Beyond horrible...those kids.
A man, 85 years old, had his dna done and found several members of my dad's side of the family were related to him. Turns out he was adopted and wanted to find his blood family. He contacted one of them, a distant cousin of mine, and my family set up a nice dinner to welcome him. He was impeccably dressed, drove a late model Infiniti. All good, we thought. (We, up to this point knew nothing of his past, except that he had brought foster children into his own immediate family.) The week after the dinner reunion, my cousin called me and said "Look up _________ on google". Wellll.......there he was. A paedophile sentenced to life in prison. And he had a foster home. Do the math. When we had the dinner, he had already been sentenced, but we didn't know. Looking back, he was closed-hearted and there was a creepy vibe when I looked in his eyes. We, the family, are horrified, naturally. Maybe, sometimes, you don't want to know.
Some lady in the air force got prego by my dad to get out of it. Never told him. 16 years later she hits him up for child support cause her husband divorced her. I have a little sister I've never met, my dad is keeping it that way till she wants to find him because he has no idea what this little girl has been told. I applaud him for that.
I once read news thats really blow ups in my country.. man about to be married.. when the family gather before the ceremony, they bring out old family photos. One old aunty recognize 1 of the old photo, and ask the groom, 'who is this.. he said it's his late grandfather - his mom mother.. but the aunty - his father's sister said, no! that's my father.. turns out his mother & father are half-siblings.. the grandfather who was a truck driver, got married while his away on he job and never tell anybody.. and then left that family.. the groom father & mother were so devastated.. coz they've been married for 24 years, and have 7 children together.. the ceremony got postponed...
