Depression affects millions of us, and while we are slowly opening up about mental health issues and beginning to banish the stigma that surrounds them, it is critically important to keep open the conversation to foster understanding and empathy for those who may be dealing with depression.

Sarah Schuster is the mental illness and health editor at The Mighty, and she decided to find out the signs of depression that other people can't see.

“While most people imagine depression symptoms equals 'really sad,' unless you’ve experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that,” she writes. “Living with depression varies a lot, with some signs more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine — it’s different for everyone.”

Asking community members on The Mighty Facebook page the question: “What's something people don't realize you're doing because you live with depression?” The response was eye-opening. Below is a list of some of the things that people had to say. Scroll down to check it out.

#1

Struggle to get out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. People don't understand, but anxiety amd depression is exhausting, much like an actual physical fight with a professional boxer.

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Victor Calamity
Community Member
4 years ago

Anxiety is both draining and exhausting. And yes, it can outflank you like a professional fighter.

Mbush B
Community Member
4 years ago

Anxiety always has a cause...seek it out and confront it.

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LittleGrayMouse
Community Member
4 years ago

I wish more people knew this and accepted this in stead of calling you lazy...

Teresa Richardson
Community Member
4 years ago

Try waking up more tired than when you went to sleep. Yes, just the thought of getting out of bed to take a shower is sometimes overwhelming, and a crowning achievement is getting some breakfast made and then the work of eating it...depression

Martin_D35
Community Member
4 years ago

Exactly. I'd wake up then shower then have to go back to bed because of exhaustion. Sometimes I'd try to sleep my hunger away. Sadly, it actually works.

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Kathleen Moore
Community Member
4 years ago

I am not surprised to hear this is #1. I go to bed at 10 every night, and sleep til at least 9 or 10, then lie in bed not able to get up, sometimes til noon. Then I sit on the sofa all day piddling with Pinterest. I am keenly aware that I am wasting my life away and then I feel worse.

Gillian Black
Community Member
4 years ago

that is fine we al are here for you, I have to make the effort as do all of us, and just sometimes it is great. sometimes crap but I will get there

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Augusto Juarez
Community Member
4 years ago

I was a professional boxer, and I’d pick that fight over this one any day.

Allana Rose
Community Member
4 years ago

I had a winter where I was so depressed I stayed in bed for 3 months, only getting up when nature demanded it and then to grab somethings to eat. I lost 30 pds during that time because I wasn't eating enough but then my appetite was almost non existence. I couldn't be bothered cooking so I lived on crackers and canned soup. No one knew I was in this funk even though I totally withdrew from everyone. Could explain why I was so depressed, knowing no one cared about me.

Pamula Furness
Community Member
4 years ago

Yup, Sums up my life right now

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Frank Hadzàlic
Community Member
4 years ago

I'd LOVE to sleep all night, but I can't.

Mbush B
Community Member
4 years ago

I have the same problem...I can't get enough sleep and then suddenly I sleep too much

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Gillian Black
Community Member
4 years ago

i have made the point of getting up at 8am, and getting dressed, yes do that then the day becomes to big for me again, if I didnt have my dogs to care for I would not do much but they have to be cared for and I find this helps just me and my dogs

Mbush B
Community Member
4 years ago

Sometimes it helps me to remember all the people who are in worse shape than me and would give anything to have my mobility

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Tammy Kelly
Community Member
4 years ago

It feels like I’m shaking inside. It’s debilitating.

katerina papadopoulou
Community Member
2 years ago

i have the same problem, it’s tiring

Shax Comments
Community Member
2 years ago

Life plays a joke starring U

Paul Bigland
Community Member
2 years ago

I'm recovering alcoholic, 3years and 9 months ,I feel as if I dont belong anywhere in social I sleep most of the day get up maybe have a sandwich then I'm ready for another sleep drifted away from talking to anyone and think everyone doesn't really want to be around me anyway I'm 62 and feel like I'm just waiting to die ,cant be living like this but theres no help cant find anywhere or anyone who listens ,I'm being told to look for work I no I'm not fit for work whatsoever I struggle to do anything ,my life is more interesting when I'm asleep thinking of just giving up hate what I've become cant get on with anyone and I'm ready for sleep again after writing this ,wasting my time as it's probably depressing people on here more .

Marie June Mello
Community Member
2 years ago

I’m proud of you for all of your progress on recovery. Great job! :) It’s completely understandable that you feel those things, especially after having “substances” (alcohol) be the social glue that tied you into hanging out with other people. Also, don’t ever feel bad for expressing yourself. If there are people like us, on this page, who feel the same as you do, then go ahead and lean on those of us you feel you can trust. Those who feel and endure the physical & emotional battle, are the best ones to help you to open up. Never feel like you’re causing anyone more depression- you have valid feelings and are doing great for being able to confide in others regarding your own personal journey of the “peaks and valleys” of overcoming an addiction & also battling through these new times of figuring out who you are without substances to alter you. Take one minute at a time. Don’t look to tomorrow, next week, etc... just focus on the “now” & 1 hour ahead & you will win this war. Best Wishes

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kousar seo
Community Member
2 years ago

That is really nice to hear. thank you for the update and good luck.brampton furniture

Sarah Storm
Community Member
2 years ago

I'm trying to work up enough effort to shower. It's been 3 days. Not bad tbh for me, I've gone much longer.

Tamara Contarino-Clark
Community Member
4 years ago

Hate having to get up 5am with my 3 year old every day. Just want to sleep away my sadness.

Cihah Xtinggi
Community Member
4 years ago

me in everyday life T_T . i thought im just tired after working

Lisa Marie Havener
Community Member
4 years ago

So sad but so true. I am right there with you right now. There are people to talk to but even that takes too much energy.

artcatcms
Community Member
4 years ago

I have this struggle every day!!! And yes, it is totally exhausting!

Tammy Kelly
Community Member
4 years ago

I feel like I’ m shaking inside especially at night and alone. It’s almost debilitating

Indy Sanders
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

We seem to have the same issue but from polar opposite sides, I'm always terrified that i will hurt someone else because of the constant physical pain, so i allow almost no one in my life anymore and being alone (well almost alone because i do have my pup 24/7) i feel so much better when i don't have to worry about hurting someone else due to my own issues/ weaknesses/ stupidity/ .so on and so forth.., smh. I realize that You posted this a couple of years ago, i really truly hope You are in a much better place with Your life and with the fear/anxiety, God Bless and be with You Ms. Tammy Kelly. :)

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Leah Murdoch-Gerics
Community Member
3 months ago

Today I want to thank lord Bubuza, the great spell caster who made it possible. I read about his lottery spell online so I contacted him for help to win the lottery, he requested my name and some information and said he will need to cast a spell to reveal the lottery winning numbers and the right platform where I will play and win. I doubted him but my husband stressed that we give it a try so I provided the information and his requirements to cast the spell, after casting the spell he gave me some digit numbers and said it was revealed when casting the spell. I bought the ticket and played the numbers. I was shocked when I was announced the winner of $60 million from the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation (OLG). My name is Leah Murdoch Gerics, join me appreciate him via website: Lordbubuzamiraclework.com or email: Lordbubuzamiraclework@hotmail.com

Leah Murdoch-Gerics
Community Member
3 months ago

I AM OVERWHELMED FOR WINNING THE LOTTERY JACKPOT IN THE APRIL 19, 2022, LOTTO MAX DRAW, friends and family members have asked me several times how I manage to win the lottery game. Today I want to thank lord Bubuza, the great spell caster who made it possible. I read about his lottery spell online so I contacted him for help to win the lottery, he requested my name and some information and said he will need to cast a spell to reveal the lottery winning numbers and the right platform where I will play and win. I doubted him but my husband stressed that we give it a try so I provided the information and his requirements to cast the spell, after casting the spell he gave me some digit numbers and said it was revealed when casting the spell. I bought the ticket and played the numbers. I was shocked when I was announced the winner of $60 million from the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation (OLG). My name is Leah Murdoch Gerics, join me appreciate him via website: Lordbubuzamiraclework.co

Van Charlotte
Community Member
6 months ago

Are you having troubles in your relationship or marriage or your partner just broke up with you! here is the solution for you❣ contact dr ogbeifun for help call/whatsapp him +2348102574680

Van Charlotte
Community Member
6 months ago

Are you having troubles in your relationship or marriage or your partner just broke up with you! here is the solution for you❣ contact dr ogbeifun call/whatsapp +2348102574680

Cheryl Powell
Community Member
9 months ago

All I do is sleep. I'm just tired of fighting this pain.

Bilikisu Yakubu
Community Member
11 months ago

My life have be troubled by having sleepless night at all time about my husband but today i’m happy about what Dr Samura have done in my life i don’t have much to say because his spell work was like a magic contact Doctor Samura on E-mail: SAMURATELLERSPELL@GMAIL.COM or call him on phone +2347030554802 whatsapp.

Tonia Anderson
Community Member
1 year ago

I thank this great man Lord Zakuza for he has brought me back to life after he helped me to recover my lost partner of 3 years and now we are both in love that will never come to an end. Join me to say thank you to Lord Zakuza and you can also need his help as well if necessary. Here's his contact info. WhatsApp: +1 740 573 9483, Email: lordzakuza7 @ gmail. com, Website: lordzakuzaspells.com

Mkhulu Mtungwa
Community Member
1 year ago

i  want to let the world know about Dr, Paul the Great spell caster that brought back my husband to me when I thought all hope was lost. Dr, Paul    used his powerful spell to put a smile on my face by bringing back my man with his spell, at first i thought i was dreaming when my husband came back to me on his knees begging me to forgive him and accept him back and ever since then he loves me more than i ever expected so i made a vow to my self that i will let the World know about Dr, Paul    because he is a God on earth. Do you have problems in your relationship ? have your partner broke up with you and you still love and want him back ? Do you have problem with your finance ? or do you need help of any kind then contact Dr, Paul   today for i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you just as he helped me. Dr,  Paul   email is:   astoriashrine@gmail.com or contact him on WhatsApp +27679901055

Felicia CatherineCaterina
Community Member
1 year ago

Question. are these comments actual or factual don't tell me wearing lace and diamonds is "insubordination" or whathaveyou?. I am like when its good but not that good and good-enough to foster an opinion? [ think - the most important question ]. To me, it was kinda like calling out a demon or something . . . . . I got depression from being bored and reading poster ads on the bus ride.

Simon Patchin
Community Member
1 year ago

How can I ever show my gratitude to Lord Zakuza for bringing back my wife. Words are not enough to say how thankful I am to you for bringing back my wife and I want everyone out there to know that Lord Zakuza magics is 100% safe and genuine because he can get your love ones back just within 48 hours for I am a living testifier. You can have a chat with him via Email on: Lordzakuza7 @ gmail .com

Simon Patchin
Community Member
1 year ago

Does it seems like your relationship as ended or about to end? Lord Zakuza is here to help out with his love spells. To get your bf/gf back WhatsApp him or text via +1 (740) 573-9483

Leta Mancare
Community Member
1 year ago

All thanks to Lord Zakuza whose magnificent spell brought back my divorced husband within 48 hours. Text or WhatsApp Lord Zakuza on +1 (740) 573 9483

Barbara Gordon
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm so tried of laying in bed. I got myself of all the weird medication i was on and i need something to do. I can't get out of bed because of my ingery. My caregivers seen to like that. Who do i call to get some mental stimulation going. I'm starting to get really depressed.

Diamond Green
Community Member
1 year ago

Do you need your ex lover back urgently? Worry no more for Lord Zakuza is here to help everyone that needs changes in every area of your lives. Just email him via Lordzakuza7@gmail.com and your heart desires will be fulfilled by him.

Whitney Woolard
Community Member
1 year ago

I feel like crying all the time for no reason and I feel dumb I feel like I have to apologise for everything cause I mess up so much and I haven’t eaten in 4 days and I think everytime no I couldn’t be depressed no way I can’t be but I know I am but I don’t want to admit it

Elizabeth Brooklyn
Community Member
1 year ago

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Kristen Van Weyenberg
Community Member
1 year ago

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Harleigh Wagar
Community Member
1 year ago

my dad yells at me when i don't get out of bed, he doesn't realize how hard it is tho

Barb Seever
Community Member
1 year ago

My boyfriend mother does not under stand i frill safe in my bed room . She call me fat make pig nose at.me I lossed 128 lb had wight loss surgery but it not good enof if I eat ji get look at or talk about soni fill like give up

snegugu Ndlovu
Community Member
1 year ago

My Ex-boyfriend left me and my daughter since 6 weeks ago after, I tried almost  everything  to restore my relationship and I was disappointed. None was working out, A week later I saw Dr. Paul website and after I contact Dr.  Paul   for help, everything automatically change, my sadness became joy, smile was all over my face, everything happened very fast  and the result was effective. Dr  Paul   is the only  spell caster who i had success with, my boyfriend called me and said she wanted us to come back and also want to marry me. he came back to me begging me to accept him back and this happened Due to the help of Dr.  Paul  . I Am so happy that I have my boyfriend back. Contact Dr.  Paul   now for an urgent and fast love spell to win your relationship back. Email him: astoriashrine@gmail com  

Elizabeth Brooklyn
Community Member
1 year ago

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Mkhulu Mtungwa
Community Member
1 year ago

I completely trusted Dr Paul totally from the time I spoke with him during the period my husband Left me  after11 years of our marriage, He started the spell work on my husband, and gave me so much assurance and guaranteed me that he was going to bring my husband back to my feet in just 48 hours of the spell casting. I was so confident in his work and just as he said in the beginning, my husband is finally back to me again, yes he is back with all his hearts, Love, care, emotions and flowers and things are better now. I would have no hesitation to recommend this powerful spell caster to anybody who is in need of help.. E-mail; astoriashrine @ gmail com

Anastasiya Hoffmann
Community Member
1 year ago

that is the same way with me

ADAM BECKER - STUDENT
Community Member
1 year ago

I am bored

Morgan Macsweeney
Community Member
1 year ago

Yes. Me too

Jessie Rocha
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes

cassandra sanchez
Community Member
2 years ago

Hi viewers, I'm Richard from London. I'm posting this Because i found lots of people having marriage problems which I also experienced. I recently found help from a man called Dr. Nana he did a great job that made my wife fell back in love with me again after seven months of separation. I want you to know there are fake online spell Dr.s if someone out there needs help, can email this great spellcaster, nanakwakuspiritualist@gmail.com check website https://lovespellsite.blogspot.com/ or connect with him on WhatsApp +2349029905501. He will give you the best result.

Clara Mat
Community Member
2 years ago

My name is Clara I am here to make a review about how Dr Charles helped me in fixing my marriage and also to those out there seeking for help and advice on how to save your broken marriage or relationship, few months ago I was having issues with my husband I noticed he has been having an affair with another young lady in his place of work I confronted him but he got angry and say to my face that it’s true, as if that was not enough he went ahead by telling me he doesn’t love me anymore that he wanted a divorce I was to devastated and confused, I pleaded with him that I don’t want a divorce but he insisted,before then I had heard about Dr Charles while browsing on the internet how he use to help people with broken marriages and relationships, I gave it a thought and I decided to contact him, he promise to put a smile on my face again, I followed his instructions and after 3days I was so surprised to see my husband kneeling before me and apologizing for what he had said about the divorce

Craig Finden
Community Member
2 years ago

Please everyone please go have your thyroid and para thyroid checked. I have had all the symptoms. Even have PTSD after a horrible accident. I felt so much better after finding I had para thyroid problems that have been resolved I still have occasional bouts of depression, but nothing like I had before.

ayan khatri
Community Member
2 years ago

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Community Member
2 years ago

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John ruth
Community Member
2 years ago

How i was able to have my ex back with me again Hello everyone i want to testify of the great and powerful spell caster named Dr IYAYA who brought back my ex who left me and got engaged to another girl,We where happy together when all of a sudden he just change he used to call me every morning and and night before going to bed but all that stopped when i call him he yell at me and told me he didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore i was so sad and confused i didn't know what to do then i went online to search on how to get back my ex then i found an article where someone was talking about how the great and powerful Dr IYAYA helped her and she left his email address i took it and contacted him i told him my problem he only smiled and told me to relax everything will be OK i did everything he asked me to do and he assured me that after 24hrs he will be back,To my greatest surprise the next morning it was my boyfriend he came back knelling and begging for me to accept him

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Community Member
2 years ago

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Richard Simoneau
Community Member
2 years ago

Sounds like me trying to figure myself out. Al,ost to this exact statement, almost eerie

Richard Simoneau
Community Member
2 years ago

This sounds exactly like me, say in and say out. Even the thought of doing this is exhausting to me.

Frog Teeth
Community Member
2 years ago

I put so much time and effort into my school life that I haven't done anything fun for 3 years

Riya Y
Community Member
2 years ago

I as a person not even a teenager am suffering from depression. I know how it feels, and at times it is energy-consuming. I’ve been through a lot, and all of that has greatly impacted my life, I don’t even know how my future will be. I don’t enjoy things I used to a long time ago as a young child. I miss it and I feel hopeless. I suggest taking a cold shower in the early morning. Let your heart out, speak positively, cry as much as you want. Take a long shower. It feels really good. Don’t let anything weigh your spirit down.

Riya Y
Community Member
2 years ago

Depression can be energy-consuming at times. Try your best not to let anything weigh your spirit down, or it can cost you dearly. Don’t let your mood swings get the best of you, don’t let anything. I as a person not even a teenager yet am suffering from it. I suggest taking a cold shower in the morning, and if you’d like, cry your heart out. Speak whatever you want, in a positive manner. Take a long shower if you want. It feels good and can make you feel better.

nelson tucker
Community Member
2 years ago

Hello viewers, i am nelson and about to share my testimony here, my mother introduced me to Great Baba Ogbogo when she discovered i couldn't get my wife pregnant after 3 years of our marriage. So, these brought so much trouble into my marriage and led to a divorce. she said, he is Highly spiritual and can make my wife return back to me in joy and we can have children together. At first, i doubted not until i contacted him and then cast mighty spells on me and made my wife return. And now, we are also happy with lovely children, right from the day Great BaBa Ogbogo worked for me and solved my problems. I made a strong vow that as long as i live, i will continue to testify to the goodness of his great works, and to those out there facing relationship and marital difficulties should quickly contact him and become a happy testifier like me. I drop his contact here,  Email:  greatbabaogbogotemple@gmail.com, or his WhatsApp number. +447440557868... He made my ex wife return to me in joy

doreen davis
Community Member
2 years ago

✔️🤦🏾‍♀️

Jo Lambert
Community Member
2 years ago

I always say to myself that there are millions less fortunate, have cancer, homeless, bullied, etc that would give anything for my life. That being said, I still can’t overcome the black hole that has taken over my life. The comments from people that I’m ‘crazy, making it up, lying about my pain’ make me feel like maybe I am crazy. if it was real wouldn’t loved ones understand and try to help? My husband would try to empathize and help me instead of calling me crazy, threatening to call the mental hospital or my family? I stopped seeking help from doctors bc the meds help some but never completely banish the feelings because there is still a darkness that clings like a shadow letting me know that true happiness is a unicorn and my feeling better at the moment is short lived. The shadow is always right because 3 months on the meds they stop working, I continue to take another 2 or 3, lying to myself and others that I’m ok. Back to dr, new meds, repeat.

Jackie Marion
Community Member
3 years ago

I'm so sorry for not realizing just how depressed you were. I knew you were unhappy about some things but didnt realize its was this bad. I was trying to help the things I did see and wanted to put forth the majority of my income I now get towards our bills but we never talked so I couldn't explain it to you.

Susan Seeley
Community Member
4 years ago

True.

WhiteFox
Community Member
4 years ago

yes this is actually very true

Wendy Yim
Community Member
4 years ago

That's exactly how it feels

Вера Деме
Community Member
4 years ago

Another day of mine well described...

Mbush B
Community Member
4 years ago

Start by setting a goal...eventually you will succeed

Mbush B
Community Member
4 years ago

If you will admit it...putting one foot in front of the other is a beginning...We all need something to look forward to every day

kate logan
Community Member
2 years ago

At last my happiness has been restored by a Man named Dr Charles, i want every one on this site/forum to join me thank this DR Charles for what he just did for me and my family, i had been married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Canada for a business trip where he met this prostitute who bewitched he to love him and hate me and the kids, when my husband came back from the trip he he started acting strange he said he does not want us anymore, he sent us out of the house and he was now going to Canada to meet the other woman. i was so frustrated that i had to go stay with my mum searching for a way to get my husband back to me and my kids so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this MAN DR Charles shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me too so i also think of give it a try at first a was scared but i thought of my situations and i had to contact him and he told me to stay calm for

BRIAN HARRIS
Community Member
2 years ago

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BRIAN HARRIS
Community Member
2 years ago

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#2

Going to bed at 9 pm and sleeping throughout the night until 10 or 11 am. Then getting out of bed is the hard part. Showering is also a struggle. Trying to keep the house tidy. Watching hours upon hours of Netflix but not even interested in what I'm watching because nothing really interests me anymore.

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Lodogg 3323
Community Member
4 years ago

Already killed Netflix and Prime, working my way through Hulu currently... I’ve seen every season of everything. Some twice.

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#3

I don't like talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Less pressure there.
Also being anti-social. Not because I don't like being around people, but because I'm pretty sure everyone can't stand me.

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Victor Calamity
Community Member
4 years ago

GET OUT OF MY HEAD...this is me!

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#4

I can deal with depression, I can't deal with people who say "we all get sad at times, get over it" "I'm depressed too, I get on with my life" depression isn't the same for everyone. I'm glad some people can cope easier but I can't.

Jess Wells Report

Victor Calamity
Community Member
4 years ago

Nothing irritates me more than the "get over it" crowd. Like there's some magic wand, or you can just choose to "get over it". Ugh.

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#5

Agreeing to social plans but canceling last minute. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. It makes you think that your friends don't actually want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation.

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just a thought !
Community Member
4 years ago

Me always.

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#6

Sometimes I'll forget to eat all day. I can feel my stomach growling but don't have the willpower to get up and make something to eat

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Panic!AtTheYeemo
Community Member
4 years ago

this landed me in the hospital due to malnutrition last year

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#7

Hiding in my phone. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I don't socialize, I play games or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It's my safe bubble.

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Analyn Lahr
Community Member
4 years ago

Me too. I much prefer games.

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#8

In social situations, some people don't realize I withdraw or don't speak much because of depression. Instead, they think I'm being rude or purposefully antisocial.

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Hari Onago
Community Member
4 years ago

I can understand this but in relation to my, sometimes, overwhelming anxiety.

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#9

Say that I'm tired or don't feel good all of the time. They don't realize how much depression can affect you physically as well as emotionally. I have a hard time finding energy when I'm in a depressive cycle. That means I don't stay on top of stuff & let things slide (like house work) because I use all of my energy for what absolutely has to be done. Then I have none left for anything else. When I'm depressed, we eat out more, my house chores fall behind, & I binge watch TV or read to escape. But the energy, that's just gone.

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Brian Beims
Community Member
4 years ago

And the pain in every joint and muscle because I work over hard compared to others, doesn’t help, either

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#10

I used to live with depression. People didn't seem to notice it because I was always smiling while talking to them and making jokes which made my personality look bright and joyful, while I was actually dark inside, full of sadness and lost hope.

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Celeste Munoz
Community Member
4 years ago

Man, that is so me!!

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#11

Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. it's overwhelming to be around them and to talk about the future and life so I avoid it.

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Victor Calamity
Community Member
4 years ago

Family I'm OK with, but literally any other gathering of people is exhausting to be around

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#12

People think I'm lazy and a freerider because I haven't had a job since leaving uni. They don't realise that I want to work more than anything, but have an endless stream of negativity constantly running through my head that terrifies me out of even printing out an application form.

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Celeste Munoz
Community Member
4 years ago

That is exactly what I hear from my daughter, she suffers from depression too.

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#13

Isolating myself, not living up to my potential at work due to lack of interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I've said many times before, "I laugh, so that I don't cry."
Unfortunately, it's all too true

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Pavel Nekoranec
Community Member
4 years ago

My coping mechanism is sarcasm which sometimes sends strange signals to people around me, they don't believe that I'm death inside, they just think I'm cynical.

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#14

Depression to me was like having an evil person as my puppet master telling me that I will feel no joy, have no desire, have no energy, no appetite, no light. Like something steals your soul. Until you have experienced it, you will not understand it. I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy.

Erin Z. Adam Report

Marie-Eve Barette
Community Member
4 years ago

"Like something steals your soul." Exactly.

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#15

Being angry, mean or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel awful that I had taken out my anger on people who don't deserve it

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Anna Bertane
Community Member
4 years ago

Too relatable... :-'(

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#16

For me, specifically the things I wish people would realise are due to my depression are my apparent "laziness", virtually not keeping in touch with anyone, bad personal hygiene, and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things.

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Teresa Richardson
Community Member
4 years ago

"Apparent 'laziness' ", uggghhhh. "Bad personal hygiene", can't face that shower and then drying off and putting fresh pajamas on to go right back to bed...forget it. It can be too much. And "extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things"...how about when things that are NOT trivial happen? Writhing in bed in an agony of worry and panic.

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#17

Neglecting to do basic things like laundry, not wanting to cook a meal or eat. They think I’m being lazy.

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Teresa Richardson
Community Member
4 years ago

Depression can cause confusion to the point that one cannot follow a recipe, even a recipe that one has made many times in the past. Just give up and go back to bed and the ingredients just sit there and go bad. Then feeling guilty and sad about that.

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#18

Fighting day to day with not wanting to give up and trying to show myself my own self worth.

When I reach out when I'm depressed its cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Not cause I want attention.

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T Lilly
Community Member
4 years ago

i gave up even trying to reach out; seems like no one has time, no one listens, no one cares

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#19

I just sit all day, getting up only to use the bathroom. My chair is also my bed. I have a bed, but i just stay in my chair. I don't sleep well, and I eat very little. The TV is on, but I may or may not be watching. I just sit.

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Maike
Community Member
4 years ago

once at a very depressed phase when i was very young and in very bad circumstances- i came home friday in the afternoon, slept until saturday noonish, woke, went to the toilet, ate, drank went back to sleep, and slept till sunday afternoon. woke, bathroom, ate, drank sleep again. Depression can make you to tired to partcipate in life. I also lay on my Bed, once home, stared into the Air and could not get up. Thank God things got better when i got older, i became more stable and better at caring for myself. Depression runs in our Family and i hope what you get from my Answer is, that there is hope, with Therapy, and with Awareness of the Situation and that the Energy it takes to keep it that way, the same Energy it costs changing it. so if you can decide for change do it. You are not alone living on your Chair! I know my Depression is still lerking around in the Shadows, i have to be proactive just about everything but actually it does not scare me so much anymore. God Bless you

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#20

My house is a huge mess.

Cynthia H. Report

Karen Frazier
Community Member
4 years ago

Yep.

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#21

I over compensate in my work environment...and I work front line at a Fitness Centre, so I feel the need to portray an 'extra happy, bubbly personality'. As soon as I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I literally feel myself 'fall'. It's exhausting! Then my night is a constant battle in my head fighting my desire to 'shrink' and anxieties. Most people that I interact with would NEVER know I live a daily battle of major depressive disorder, PTSD and anxiety. I am a professional at hiding it.

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Laurinda Mary
Community Member
4 years ago

Yup. And getting told you're not depressed because you're so bubbly.

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#22

I don't talk much in large groups of people, especially when I first meet them. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think i am 'stuck up'. I'm actually scared out of my mind worrying that they don't like me, or that they think I'm crazy or stupid, by just looking at me...

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Hollie Newton
Community Member
4 years ago

I'm the opposite I actually try to be stuck up purely because I am scared and insecure

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#23

Cancel plans because of anxiety. Stay home and hardly ever go out. Struggling to get out of bed everyday. It's exhausting. Getting ready for work is a struggle. There is so much. Been dealing with this for 35 years

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Karen Frazier
Community Member
4 years ago

Right? People say, “just get up and get out. You’ll feel better.” Like I’d never thought of anything so stupidly obvious before. I’d have already done it years ago if it were that easy.

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#24

The struggle to get out of bed and get off the couch is hell. The physical pain that exists. The house always a mess because no one else will or can do anything and I get blamed which all just makes the depression worse. The thinking about what I need to do makes me anxiety paralyzing.
Not having a job and physically not being able to even look for one after all the rejection.
People think I'm lazy.
I know a clean house helps me feel better, helps me socialize, causes peace and calmness, I want to and I try, but I just can't. I know a job will give me purpose and reduce stress by adding some financial stability to my family. I really want one and perhaps that is why it is so heartbreaking every time those phone calls don't come.

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Brian Beims
Community Member
4 years ago

Every worthless job has broken down my body to the point now and the pain is barely bearable. I don’t want another menial manual labor, but I want to contribute to society. But no one can handle me for more than a couple months. Always sea4ching for another job.

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#25

People don't realize that I say sorry before I even think about expressing any opinions because that's how worthless I feel. I'm apologizing for feeling anything about anything because that's how little I feel I matter. They don't just know I feel like apologizing for even breathing in their general direction. I even say I'm sorry before asking to use the bathroom no matter how long I've held it. I feel like a burden for biological needs I have no control over.

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Rafaella Bueno
Community Member
4 years ago

Same here. And then I feel sorry for being sorry at all because even that is thinking too highly of myself, I mean, if I think I'm a bother, I'm thinking that I actually matter at all.

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#26

Sometimes I'll go days without speaking to anybody. People tend to believe I'm ignoring them on purpose when really I am just lost within myself. I don't mean to seem like I'm pushing people away. Some days it's hard when my thoughts consume me and when I can't find the motivation to simple things that others do on a daily basis.

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Saurabh Saluja
Community Member
4 years ago

It is in present happening with me

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#27

That I'm fighting through a wall of separation when I talk to them. That sometimes I blank or delay in answering because I'm still trying to process what they're saying.

That when I reach out to them it's after an agonizing period of trying not to. I don't want to burden people with my shit, but sometimes I just need to hear someone's voice.

That my everyday is marked with extreme fatigue and exhaustion. That everything for me takes much much longer.

That I am completely envious of people who are full of life and genki af. That I wish my life was nothing but optimism and bliss, that I felt a zest for life and was overflowing with energy. That that is who I really am behind all the junk they have to see and put up with. That I wish I could just ignore it all and have fun.

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Brian Beims
Community Member
4 years ago

Yes, I DO enjoy life but the ups are so far between the downs. SOOOO far...

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#28

Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower and I can't think of the answers to the questions as quickly. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do - I don't really want anything. I isolate myself so I don't have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it's exhausting.

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Teresa Richardson
Community Member
4 years ago

The fight to get words out of the blackness is exhausting.

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#29

The excessive drinking.
Most people assume I'm trying to be the "life of the party" or just like drinking in general. I often get praised for it.
But my issues are much deeper than that.

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Steffi Klein
Community Member
4 years ago

Same here. Didn't had a drink for three weeks now, and hopefully counting - but I'm writing this lines on my bed in a room in a psychiatry. The second time this year, at first because of a panic disorder, now it's the depressions I slided in afterwards. Drank way to much because of both, I'm so sick of this.

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#30

I push away/cut off everyone that I care about because I can't bear to be hurt by them! Everyone just thinks I'm mean and anti-social.

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Makayla Nash
Community Member
2 years ago

yeah and when i finally get to people they think i hate them...

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#31

I wake up feeling like I'm a failure. I have to coach myself every morning into telling myself that I'm good at my job, my kids love me, my husband needs me...and if I don't go to work everything gets shut off... it's like I can't move...

Clare Holland Report

Brian Beims
Community Member
4 years ago

Lol, my partner doesn’t love me. I am savvy enough to know this. He just is afraid of being the reason I suicide. And I l love him dearly, he is one of 2 reasons I still live, my dog, the other half.

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#32

Keeping the house dark is a comfort thing for me. People always point it out, like "No wonder you're so depressed. You need to let some light in." Darkness in my living space makes me feel comfortable, almost like I'm not alone, on my bad days. Good days, I'm all about the sunshine!

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Brooke Hornby
Community Member
4 years ago

A mixture of all of these things. But mostly..knowing this isn't the person I want to be, and not knowing how to move past it. Blank time is also terrible, getting trapped inside the silence in your own mind, knowing you are thinking of thinking of nothing , and knowing you are wasting time.

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#33

I want to talk about it. I want to scream. I want to yell. I want to shout about it! But all I can do is whisper "I'm fine."

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Patricia Lander
Community Member
4 years ago

Me to. no one cares

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#34

Sleeping, anxiety, not eating, feeling worthless, directionless, not wanting to impose my worthless directionless self on other people, being completely exhausted by having to keep the outer mask in place (which is why I'm antisocial-- simply being upbeat enough to order coffee at Starbucks will sometimes rinse me for the afternoon).

Kirsten Littlewood Report

June Bishop
Community Member
4 years ago

YES!!!!!!

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#35

I find that after so many years I just can't believe in people at all anymore. My vision of myself and the world is so negatively distorted that no matter how much I want to believe when people are nice to me, I can't.

People who say I'm not ugly are lying and laughing behind my back. People who act like they like me are just going with the flow and don't really care.
Even if they aren't being mean, they're just being polite, and it's not like they care about me personally. Being a part of a group actually means that you're just one more and don't individually matter.

People are not honest, people are always just "polite" - kindness is a lie to look good to others and to feel good about themselves.

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artcatcms
Community Member
4 years ago

and yet, on a common sense level, I know there is good in the world. Maybe a bit like Anne Frank, but I have to believe that in my soul. I am the one dragging myself down, I am my own worst enemy.

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#36

I CAN RELATE TO EVERY COMMENT I HAVE READ WHICH IS SO SAD. SO MANY OF US HURTING AND LIVING WITH THE FEELING WE ARE ALONE. I EVEN FEEL GUILTY TALKING TO MY COUNSLER THINKING SHE IS GETTING SO TIRED OF ME TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF. I BEAT CANCER A FEW YEARS AGO AND YOU WOULD THINK THAT WOULD HAVE GIVIN ME A NEW LEASE ON LIFE BUT IT ONLY MADE ME MORE DEPRESSED THOSE WHO HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION FOR A LONG TIME WILL UNDERSTAND WHY.

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Kathy Bradshaw
Community Member
4 years ago

Yes, I am also a cancer survivor so I have changed that term to a cancer experienced survivor. Meaning that I have been through all the “stages” of grief, acceptance, blah..... That was written by idiots who do not get the change in life that occurs. The best therapy that I have found costs nothing. Here it is: when driving in your car ALONE! Roll all of your windows closed. Make sure no cars are around. Screeeeeem at the top of you lungs as loud and long as you can. Shout all the curse words you know and make up some too.....Avoid or do not curse your God so you do not have to do penance. Oh, have a bottle of water with you - throat will be dry. Follow this with whatever fave music you love to listen to. Repeat as often as needed!

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#37

Overthinking everything and over planning. The need to make everything perfect and everyone happy even if it's taking all my energy. As if validation from someone else will make it all better. Sometimes I start out on high power then just crash and don't even enjoy what ive spents weeks/months planning. And none will see me for months after, as I retreat into my safe bubble

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sabs elarjoun
Community Member
3 years ago

yeppers

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#38

Hiding out in my room for hours at a time watching Netflix or Hulu to distract my mind or taking frequent trips to the bathroom or into another room at social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me.

Kelci F. Report

Saurabh Saluja
Community Member
4 years ago

This same situation frequently occur in my life and I also take the same steps to overcome that situation

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#39

I think its hard for people to understand me when i may sound negative because i live with depression. They might question my motivation n even determination to do something but they dont realize its a battle to wake up everyday fighting my own thoughts n suffering from low energy.

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Ayla Ghaniya
Community Member
2 years ago

Its so me

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#40

Some very universal themes in all the examples. I remember my days, twenty years ago, before medication and therapy well. Realizing that my feelings were not unique was part of the key; overcoming isolation was another. It cannot be fixed alone.

Brent Taylor Report

Celeste Munoz
Community Member
4 years ago

I've been fighting this for 45 years. I go up and down because I'm bipolar with anxiety and now I'm just mostly depressed. Sometimes the meds work and sometimes I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. Can't seem to move and I have no excuse.

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#41

I get obsessive over things. Things like I'm worthless or I'm a bad person or I'm secretly just like the people I hate most. Sometimes I can't tell if what I am thinking is true or not. I get anxiety at social events. I feel like people hate me or just don't care about me. I cling to certain people and want them to love me. My brain sometimes goes into overdrive and I can't turn it off and it causes a downward spiral that is hard to pull out of.

I don't tell people because I don't want to be labeled. I don't want them to see me as broken and depressed or that I'm just being silly. But at the same time people get upset at me or mad about things but they don't understand what I have to deal with.

I listen to music a lot. I read tons and tons of fantasy books. I like watching movies. All of these take me away from reality for a while and puts me into amazing worlds where I know things are going to end happily. I love being in plays and musicals because I get to be someone else entirely and I know how things are going to end and it makes me happier.

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Ayla Ghaniya
Community Member
2 years ago

I listen music right now

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#42

Every night I look at all the pictures of dead relatives I have and asking them to please come get me I don't want to do this anymore. I'm 71 and have been suffering from depression on and off in my life since I was 18. I truly am done.

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artcatcms
Community Member
4 years ago

Reach out to God, tell him everything you are feeling (even though He knows already)....Just hand it all over to God. He keeps me going when it becomes overwhelming!!!

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#43

I feel like a stranger in my own life. Having had surgery, off work, no savings, short term disability behind, water frozen, kitchen full of dirty dishes, but I am alive and taking meds.

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Rachel Pace
Community Member
2 years ago

me to!

#44

I thought I was really bad at hiding my anxiety until one day a friend came to tell me that she wished she lived her life like how I did mine , cause I am always happy and take everything with a pinch of salt. Now I know that I'm an ace at covering up .

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Ayla Ghaniya
Community Member
2 years ago

I cover mine with joyful fake smile

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#45

Running a business not answering the phone for years ... still works, though .... cancelling all the jobs that makes it neccessary leaving my home ... can‘t leave my cats alone ... I am turning into this crazy cat lady ... at least I don‘t miss anything - I really enjoy my own company ... people empty me .

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artcatcms
Community Member
4 years ago

My cats are so much of a comfort to me too!!!!!!

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#46

It's so comforting to see I'm not alone. Being indecisive, having extreme difficulty making decisions because you can only see and fear all the things that will go wrong. And when/if a decision has been Finally made, the inability to take action and carry it out because of fear and anxiety. Financial problems overwhelming, inadequacy, social fear, losing your temper for no reason, hours of crying fits, safety in your little home, but being so lonely, heartbreak, regret and grief because of loss of dreams, feeling useless & lazy because you cannot complete basic household chores. Eating too much junk or nothing at all because it's too much trouble. Having a long list of fun things to do in your spare time that you KNOW will make you feel great about yourself, but you just cannot get out of bed to do them - yearning for the days when you could. Just wanting to sleep so you don't have to FEEL anything. The GUILT of having depression because everyone else seems to have their life together and so should you at this age. But you don't know how to do it. The guilt you feel because of the Support you DO get from Friends who understand - don't they have their own lives to live without having to worry about you all the time? Not feeling good enough/worthy of being loved by someone after being rejected. Escaping into your phone or movies/series. Genuinely not wanting to carry on, even/especially after 3 suicide unsuccessful 'attempts', because it seems this is as good as it gets and you are just using up Earth's valuable resources, a waste of space. Feeling like a burden. Depression is a killer.

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June Bishop
Community Member
4 years ago

THANK YOU, spot on!!!!

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#47

Going for late night walks by myself. My depression keeps me awake at night and my thoughts can get so overwhelming I feel physically crowded inside. Late night walks help me quiet the screaming in my head.

Lynnie L. Report

June Bishop
Community Member
4 years ago

I like that... "physically crowded" yes!

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#48

I know what should I do to get rid of depression, but I can't. I'm in a lake, I know how to swim, but I'm paralyzed. I think that's it.

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June Bishop
Community Member
4 years ago

WOW!! yes!!!

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#49

Endless negativity towards yourself and everyone else. Feeling like a continuous failure because you don't have the energy to do the right things in your life. Constantly telling yourself you're worthless and people around you will be better off if you're not there. Panic attacks that happen at night and keep you awake. Wondering if it will ever get over.

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Bruce Freiberg
Community Member
4 years ago

Sad but true.

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#50

I have often been accused of having "no sense of humor". So wrong. Before depression took over my life I smiled, and laughed, as much as the next person. Now, having lived with depression for over 15 years, the humor I find in a joke, or situation, is rarely visible on my face or heard in my laugh. I feel humor, but it's just too much effort to express it. I don't have the energy.

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Ayla Ghaniya
Community Member
2 years ago

I feel emotionless most of the time in a day

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#51

I've dealt with depression most my life. Most my symptoms are manageable as long as I'm being mindful of my attitude, thoughts, and behavior. I don't ignore people and I let them know when I need alone time or if I'm not feeling well. When life gets boring or mundane I remind myself that this is not my last stop and I continue dreaming. These are some of the ways that I manage depression.

Preston Schroeder Report

Rosemarie Ventura
Community Member
4 years ago

I think we are in similar phases of our hostage negotiations with this disease. Most of my mental and emotional symptoms of depression and PTSD are well managed now with medication. I was working for almost two decades and building a life and even wanted to finish that college degree. Then over the course of two + years my level of physical functioning declined to where I could not hold a job. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which feels like all the physical symptoms of major depression plus a severe and chronic inability to stay awake. I have not fallen into a deep depression over this because of medication management and good mental and emotional hygiene. It's almost like my life of depression prepared me for this challenge. I believe me life has a purpose, even if I can't see what it is right now. I believe if I keep trying, the resources I need will be there when I need it, even though I have basically been living on savings that are quickly running out.

#52

People will always tell you "When you're feeling like that, reach out to someone". But I don't want to anymore. Any time that I try to, I'm told I'm too negative, or to get over it, or SOMETHING along the lines of "How dare you have told me this?". Every time I try to open up to people they either tell me off or just outright block me.
It's come to the point where when I hear people say "I care about your happiness", I interpret it as "I only care about you when you're happy". Talking through these kinds of emotions are usually a great help, but how can I get said help if nobody cares enough about me to talk to me about it at all? I'm grateful to have a therapist, but a lot of people don't have the money or other resources for such help.

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June Bishop
Community Member
4 years ago

I'm told I throw pity parties, that hurts because deep inside you just want to scream "help me!!"

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#53

I always say I'm going to do something with the guys and when it comes time to do it. I back away. Also sleeping for hours not because I'm lazy but because dealing with all the thoughts in my head from anxiety along with depression is exhausting. Feels like kind of when your in winter and the cold air is blowing and you find it hard to breath. It's like that daily for me.

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Lauren Lazar
Community Member
2 years ago

everyday it feels like someone is pushing on my chest and i can never get a full breath of air. they say to take deep breaths when you feel anxious, but its hard when you feel like you're drowning

#54

Just getting in the bath or making a cup of tea is a major achievement. Having my dog has made me get out of the house at least twice a day, have to take hours to get motivated sometimes though. But if I didn’t have him, I probably wouldn’t leave the house unless it was for work.

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Sarah Lund
Community Member
1 year ago

When I used to have depression, I had white walls in my residential care home bedroom, and lots of wooden furniture. There was no life in the decor. Just a lot of white and boring blandness. Not much to look at. It was only the care home manager who had a say in how our bedrooms were decorated. We didn't have any choice. If I did, I would have had a coral pink bedroom. White makes depression worse as it's such a sterile clinical colour. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone for they're taste in decor, but I'm fed up of seeing those word ornaments. Them ornaments that are merely just a word like 'LOVE', or 'KITCHEN', or 'LIVE LAUGH LOVE'. Ugh. What's worse is the white one's. Don't get me started on the photo frames that have those words on them aswell. I just find them tacky for some reason. So many people have them in their homes, but I don't like looking at them. Makes me feel as if I can't read.

#55

I volunteer for everything from going to pto meetings to baby sitting to cleaning someone else's house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed & get out of the house because if I'm not needed, I won't be wanted..

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Rafaella Bueno
Community Member
4 years ago

I can relate. I also pretty much can only do things if it's for other people. Even with work, as a freelancer, in order to get things done I need to convince myself that the client needs me to do the job, and/or that my family needs my financial help so I need to work.

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#56

I'm currently feeling some pretty deep depression because of what I'm going through. Between the stress and depression all I can do is sleep because I'm so worn out. In some pretty dark places right now and pushing everyone away. I hope it will end when I face the monster that is trying to kill me at the end of the month. I've lost everything in the last 2 years because of this person and their agency. I can relate to just about everyone of these and have lost friends over it. I had one friend tell me that my friends don't like hanging out with me because I'm negative. Well a chance to loose your life is pretty negative. Just saying.

Mike Ox Report

Ayla Ghaniya
Community Member
2 years ago

I have that right now cause i was tortured by how my life is i wanted to die

#57

I'm 25 but still virgin, no job, no money no boyfriend, I still live with my family, I can't even graduate from college at my 6th year because I can't focus anything, I can't get up from bed, I don't want to do anything, just sleep and hope to die.

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Nikki D
Community Member
4 years ago

Your situation is far more common than you may think! I really hope you can claw your way out of that pit, you still have time. You can still lead a worthwhile life without any of those things you mentioned. Good luck ^^

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#58

As i read these, i can totally relate to almost all of them. That constant
battle royale what you have to fight against your demons. The struggle to eat, to shower, to clean your room/house, go to school/workplace. And the world says that you are lazy is only oil onto the fire. When they say "yeah everyone gets sad". Well you don't say? I'm not sad. I'm DEPRESSED. There is a huge difference. Sadness is an emotin when something bad happened. Depression is feeling sad, alone, exhausted or even suicidal etc. My favourite is "you have nothing to be depressed, you have at least half of your life in front of you". Yea... most people can't realize the fact depression has multiple reasons, Not just the traumatical one. It can be in your genes because someone was depressed in your family, it can be a random switch from a day to the other just because your neurochemical balance got broken and became a neurochemical imbalance. So you don't need any reason to be depressed it can just happen. (just like in my case, and in many others')

Sometimes i just don't eat for 2-3 days, then i try to eat normally, then i eat a lot. Same with sleep. Somethimes I'm like an insomniac, then I'm like i have hypersomnia. This cycle is what killing a lot of us.

That feel when sleep is not just a sleep anymore, more likely a way to escape. But then you realise that when you sleep only the time passes but it's just like a snap of fingers and you feel the demons again. Then you feel like "please god, i don't want to wake up tomorrow, please". The feel when you are in front of the mirror and just screaming/crying and literally begging to yourself to hold on.

I know how it feels, i feel like I already lost and I'm really afrad if it as well.

But please, whoever you are, be strong, i know it's a cliche what you hear always, but we hear that all the time only because it's our only chance.

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Amy Littlejohn Cross
Community Member
2 years ago

🙌🏻🙏🏼💜

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#59

I get very apathetic. And I'll refuse (read: I can't) to make any decisions. Even tiny ones like what to eat. I physically won't be able to make a decision. So if there isn't someone around to tell me to eat something and what to eat, I won't eat. If there isn't someone to tell me to go to sleep, I won't. It gets to the point where if someone asks me to make a decision or tries to force me to make a decision I'll just curl up into a ball and cry.

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Mrs.Davis_
Community Member
2 years ago

I understand

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#60

I prefer to be awake through the night because I can just stay in bed without anyone getting mad. I sleep up to 15 hours a day during bad periods. When I'm awake, I live in my head, I often don't even move.

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Megan Shaw
Community Member
1 year ago

I couldn’t explain this to my husband. This is exactly it!

#61

My sleep patterns are all over the place. I have lots of bad dreams and I’m tired all the time. Work takes a lot of energy, being happy and enthusiastic (I’m a teacher) I crash when I get home. Change makes me anxious. On bad days my hands will shake and I feel anxious and jittery but I don’t know why. I forget my words. If I’m down and someone asks how I’m going I’ll just burst into tears. I’m happiest when I’m too busy to think, but then I wear out and crash. The situation that caused my depression is gone and logically I know I should be fine now, happy now...but I’m still struggling. I lost good habits and picked up some bad habits. I’ll agree to plans and then cancel, I feel like I’m turning into a hermit and if I talk to someone about it they will think I’m weak and get sick of me being down all the time. So, I stay home by myself.

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Mrs.Davis_
Community Member
2 years ago

Right it’s like “your tired of me and if not now you will be later” so let me just stay in my own bubble

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#62

People think I'm really flaky. I say I'm busy and I can't do the thing I said I'd do but I'm busy hiding. That's depression. The great need to be busy until you're so totally physically exhausted so you don't have to be afraid of your own thoughts: that's anxiety.

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#63

I'm always alone until someone in my family needs something. And I'm up all night trying to figure out how to solve everyone else's problem. After their problem are solved, they're gone...no thank you, and they may even talk about me behind my back about how they used me again. But If I don't help, I'm the crazy sister, aunt,etc.. If family does this to you, I'm afraid to meet strangers. No one cares that I'm alone all day at home hiding in the house with burns all over my body, I've been told that I'm too depressing to be around, until they need help again. I need to drop my family and find people like me. But where do burn victims hook up? Heaven I guess!

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Madison Pinchot
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm always looking for a friend. Living in Michigan right now but I 110% , down to every Last word understand and emphasize with u

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#64

My emotions overwhelm me. I second guess everything I do or don’t do. I feel like no matter what I do it will be wrong. I am constantly exhausted and want to escape into sleep to avoid life. I feel hopeless and helpless and I don’t think anyone understands. I want to scream for help but no one knows how to help me and I feel like they don’t want to hear it and they’re trivializing my struggle. I want to physically cut it out of myself.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago

The bad ass thing about depression is that you have to, you must, you've got to try to intellectually at least always be able to keep in mind that your feelings are "ghost feelings", they feel perfectly real but they are the result of chemical imbalances, they are not you, they put their ugly heads up instead of what you would really be feeling were you not depressed. I sometimes suffer from bouts of migraine. I don't have an aura but it feels like there is a 5-inch diameter wooden pole through my eye. I always get this strange sensation of wonder about how it can possibly be so large and still go through my eye, at the same time as I am aware that it is a "ghost sensation", i e I feel it but it is not real.

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#65

Always having to be around someone. I have a total inability to be alone. I don't even have to talk to a person...as long as I know they're physically there, I'm content. Otherwise, depressing thoughts creep in and I end up driving myself crazy. It's less effort to put on the facade that I'm fine in front of other people, than it is to face myself alone.

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Me
Community Member
2 years ago

I understand it’s so scary to be alone

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#66

When people rely on you, you keep a mask of the other you tightly in place. The smiling, happy, outgoing, social you. My mask was so tight, I didn't realize that my exhaustion and lack of drive, the fact that a load of laundry would somehow become ten loads, was in fact a very well concealed depression. It took a friend who was also suffering and knew the symptoms to point it out. Life isn't much easier, but I'm still alive. I can't say how much longer I would have been if she hadn't spoke up.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago

Wow! A friend in need is a friend indeed. You are lucky to have a friend like that.

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#67

The worst part is feeling like my kids deserve a better mum but at the same time, knowing how much they need only me and that no one would love them like i do.

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Renee Kline
Community Member
4 years ago

please don't think that way. Your children love and need You. No One replaces Mom. do fun things with your kids .... Make happy memories. take them out to eat or to the library or for walks Make tents and watch a funny movie with them with popcorn . this too shall pass your kids need you always remember that.

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#68

Smoking all the time, no light in the room, lots of sleep, smiling for your familly so they don't know how worthless you actually feel. Building a Universe around your own bed because you want just to stay there ... thinking that everything you do is wrong and that most people would be better without you ...

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#69

I have anxiety and pretty much think I'm useless all the time & that people don't actually like me. It's like My inner monologue is constantly putting me down. Because of this, I can't handle criticism of any kind. In a work situation it comes across like I'm not listening when taking constructive criticism, or if I've made a mistake and I'm being called out on it. It may seem like I'm ignoring criticism but in reality I'm shutting down because i've already started to tell myself that I'm useless and I'm scolding myself for messing up.

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Mrs.Davis_
Community Member
2 years ago

Exactly like I already knew that about myself no thanks for the reminder

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#70

I don't feel like I'm "in me". I feel like I'm looking on. Like I'm behind something but watching with hypervigilance. I also stress over things way beforehand. "Which door will I go in? Someone's going to laugh if I get the wrong door". "Where do I park? I'm going to be in someone's way". "When I walk in, everyone's going to look at me". It goes on and on. My mind is so chaotic that it is empty, blank. I cannot say things in order or make others understand what I am trying to get across. Words won't come. When they do they don't come out right or the thoughts in my head are not the thoughts I am thinking. They think I'm using figures of speech. Once I was telling my therapist that I didn't feel like I was 46. She went to give me a high five! I meant that I feel emotionally stunted, like I didn't go past a certain point somewhere along the line. I have PTSD from sexual abuse by one person and physical and verbal abuse from my father. I had it coming at me in every direction it feels like. I feel SO tired all the time, all, the time. No energy to do anything. I have no interest in anything anymore. My apartment isn't dirty but things pile up. I know, logically I need to get my butt moving but I just can't. I want to sleep and nap all the time. Facebook is an outlet for me. I have made groups so that I can post to only certain people about certain things. I don't want to hear "you are throwing a pity party", or "chin up". That hurts, it does not help me. I cry at the drop of a hat over anything. I cry a lot. Especially when I can't get the right words out or someone points out something I did or said. I am overly emotional and the more I try to curb it, it just makes the situation worse. Everything is super focused around me but a whirling mess at the same time. I hope someone understands what I am trying to say. And thank you for contributing to these answers. It gives all of us validation that we are not alone.

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sabs elarjoun
Community Member
3 years ago

exactly how I feel. whilst i cant relate to your traumas, it's that feeling of being "outside yourself" and having an overactive mind that really consolidates my insecurities,,, and being told to get over it because other people have it worse only makes me feel invalidated and then when I'm told my emotions DO matter, it's hard to believe...

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#71

I can't sleep at night because thoughts of failure run through my head

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#72

Sometimes I can't breathe

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Zai
Community Member
1 year ago

i start to breathe with my mouse with a loud breathing sound I have no power to stop that noise but I don't care about others cuz they don't care either

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#73

This describes my life so much and it’s to the point where I even cancel Dr’s appt. knowing I needed to go that day. But good to know that someone understands. I pray things get better for everyone that deal with depression and anxiety I the Name of Jesus!

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Desley Brooker
Community Member
1 year ago

Amen!

#74

I lie awake into the night, and wake up late. It's not by choice. But I usually wake up feeling exhausted, with a headache, and unable to take the world on. I hate taking calls or talking to people, because I can't say what's on my mind because I know they'll treat me like an imbecile, and I can't bear to make small talk when my head's about to burst open. I can't remember the last time I went out. I can no longer look people in the eye for the fear that they'll see what I am hiding. I dress shabby and am usually unkempt, because I no longer care how I look. Does the outside really matter when there is a war and bloodshed within you? Sometimes when I do watch something on Netflix, most of it doesn't even register to me. Its almost like watching life pass by. On most days, I simply forget to eat, and when I do remember late in the night, I'm still not hungry. And on some days, the only thought that gives me any comfort whatsoever is thinking of the warm feeling of bleeding out in a warm bath. Depression is really hard..every single day..and no one understands..but they are quick to abandon you. Depression paired with loneliness is even harder.

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Mrs.Davis_
Community Member
2 years ago

Smh hard asf

#75

My house is a wreck, I don't let anyone inside, I have no friends. I work, go home, just sit and watch Netflix for hours. Then get up and go to work again. Fall asleep in my chair. I feel dead inside. On my days off, I just sit all day. I don't leave the house unless I have to.

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#76

It seems like all the time I mess up, no matter what. I hate working in groups because of this, and I never help out. When the group asks me to help, I always screw up somehow and they blame me for it, rightfully so. It feels like I'm a failure

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#77

I smile all the time even though I don't really want to but I do it because I don't feel like I'm allowed to be sad when I'm with other people. I also do whatever it takes to make someone else happy, because since I don't feel happy most of the time, it just makes me feel a little better seeing someone else happy. I also isolate myself even though sometimes I really just want someone around.

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Anna Zheng
Community Member
1 year ago

For me, I felt that smiling is like wearing a mask. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm smiling because I'm happy or that I'm forced to, because I felt no one wants to be around a person that's always surrounded by negativity or depressed. I feel better seeing others happy, even though it later makes me feel more depressed because I believe I am not worthy of happiness. I also like being alone but then get anxiety if there's no one around.

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#78

I have tendencies towards a lot of what's been described here: I wake up sometimes and think: 'Ugh! How am I going to get up today?' I have times I want to avoid people, where I become very introverted, where I want to drink every night, where I don't feel like making any efforts to try to address my difficult financial situation (I can't find a good job just yet).

I can't speak for everyone, but what works for me, and I think will work for some, but certainly not all others, is that I work against these things one at a time, with simple but effective rules: 1. I will not let myself sleep more than 8.5 hours (assuming I'm not recovering from some serious sleep deprivation) 2. I will not let myself buy alcohol at a store or go to a bar until a weekend night. 3. I will require myself to do at least a few job applications, or application follow ups or go to some networking thing at least a few times a week. 4. I will exercise at least for a half hour 5-6 days a week. 5. I will write one more chapter of my novel manuscript today. 6. I will tidy up my room for 10-20 minutes as I play my favorite music. 7. I will enjoy a little indulgent food like dessert but I won't go crazy on dessert.

Ask yourself this: can I put my more intelligent self in charge, one simple step at a time?

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Analyn Lahr
Community Member
4 years ago

I should try these. But will my anxiety let me? I did take on step and talk to someone at work source. Now I need to go back for a couple classes before I can meet with that person again. But it's all the way downtown, in a sketchy neighborhood and driving in snow makes me anxious. But I have to do it before I see my counsellor again cos she's expecting it.

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#79

I avoid social interaction because I feel people tolerate me only to be polite to my husband or my son. When friends invite us over I stay at home for I don't believe they really want me around.

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June Bishop
Community Member
4 years ago

I don't have a husband or children, but I hear you so clear

#80

Most people with anxiety/depression flee social settings and commitments. I CRAVE them. If I have any free time during the day, that's when the thoughts and darkness sets in. I put way too much on my plate and I'll get anxiety over it. If I have anxiety over the small things, I won't have time to think about the dark thoughts that are always in the back of my mind.

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#81

I cant take a bath, nor shower. I am just not able to. i want to get clean but im crying in a bath like a little baby without a reason. and i just don't have the strength needed to wash myself. i'm napping all day and sleeping all night. I have no job. no one care about me. i would like to do many things but i just am not able to force myself to do anything. i cant even watch a movie because its to exhausting and i cant focus. i am already dead but still breathing. im just like a vegetable but still can move.

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Renee Kline
Community Member
4 years ago

I had a thought when I read what you wrote. Sometimes when we say depression..what we actually mean Along With the depression is you have a broken heart. that's a whole new ballgame when you have both..i know because it is what i am going through... but if i looked like you young pretty with your whole life ahead of you. i would be out buying some cool clothes..the sexiest perfume i could fine and watching comedies which lift you up watching maekup videos which teach you watching counceling things Online but not too much cause it brings you down after awhile.............. and Smile at every one you go by. You are young your life is just beginning. this too shall pass Chin up girl

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#82

I, personally, haven't been diagnosed, but I relate to almost every one of these. I want to lead a good life, practice, write, get better at things. I feel I can't though, and that is one of the most painful things. I distance myself at social gatherings because I just feel like I don't belong. Even if I do mingle, I feel bad for sharing my ideas the conversation, because I feel as if I'm intruding, or no one cares about my opinion. Even as I type this, I'm thinking that my ideas don't belong here, like I'm taking up a spot that someone with it worse could have.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago

By the tone of your post, it sounds more like you are suffering from very low self-esteem, than from depression. Try to do one little thing every day that really scares you. By constantly adding to your comfort zone you may well find that people love to be around you and that they respect your opinions and admire you for them. However, please go to a doctor and explain how you feel. I wish you all the best.

#83

when you can't hold it in any longer and you just fall down, crying, hoping that someone will hear you and help because you are too scared/ashamed/unsure to ask for it.

Then realising you're now an adult, and there's no one around to care.

Seriously, get help when it is easier and more available. There are so many more options to help teenagers and young adults then when you are middle aged. When you have a child, you can get intensive medical care over the first few days, then every few days, then every few weeks, then it's mostly gone; mother and baby units won't take toddlers.

Get help when it is easier and more available.

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Mrs.Davis_
Community Member
2 years ago

On everything REALIZING YOUR AN ADULT and no one cares and you have to care even if you don’t no how to.

#84

Constant dread that someone will call or show up unannounced. Not leaving the house at all because you fear human interaction. Fear of saying the wrong thing and deciding that saying nothing is your only choice...

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Mrs.Davis_
Community Member
2 years ago

Felt that

#85

It seems like all the time I mess up, no matter what. I hate working in groups because of this, and I never help out. When the group asks me to help, I always screw up somehow and they blame me for it, rightfully so. It feels like I'm a failure.

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#86

When I have no energy for socializing or even housework because just getting through the workday takes all my energy.

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#87

I relate to so many of these. It's helpful to know I'm not the only one. But reading all these makes me think of my own issues and makes want a drink in the the middle of the day.

It's not just social anxiety and depression keeping me from a job. I'm afraid if I have a steady income I really will be an alcoholic. Right now I only buy some when my dad sends me money every now and then. Or the rare occasion when my mom (who I live with and rely on for everything) wants some.

I only have one friend and she lives in a different state. She also suffers from depression, which might be worse than mine cos she rarely responds to my emails and we haven't talked on the phone in something like as year. She has a job and is busier than me and I know she's struggling. But my anxiety makes me think she just doesn't want to talk to me. Even though she sent me a Christmas present which is the only verification I've had in the last six months that she's alive. And I think or my anxiety does, that she only did that because I sent her a card and reminded her of my existence.

There's just so much pain all around. And I don't know how to fix it.

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Laura Reid
Community Member
2 years ago

I feel you girl

#88

Everyone here is not alone, This thread is proof of it. There are people out there who can help work through a lot of theses issues, being medication or conversation, relationship or companionship. The point is, It sucks. This disease really sucks. But to help and fix this disease we need to speak up, Most friends and family and doctors won't know until we tell them. It also helps to push myself daily, to challenge myself, even to scare myself. Maybe to set a time to get up or shower or eat. After awhile it becomes routine. Routines can help move to a better position. Just my 2cents.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago

It seems so simple, but it is actually solid advice.

#89

I'm an introvert and I'm being forced to work with customers. I find it extremely hard to just be outgoing with strangers. Being put in that position constantly has caused me to withdraw from my friends as I'm being left so drained from these interactions at the end of the day that my recharge period takes up more time than I'd like. I'm so depressed I've started eating and can't seem to stop. My life is a nightmare. Everyone keeps telling me to try and find joy in what I do, but they don't understand the effort it takes just to get up in the morning, knowing I'm going to have to face whatever lies ahead for the day. I live in an extremely small town (moved here due to circumstances beyond my control) and jobs are really scarce. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to at all and my spirit is completely broken. Everyone thinks I'm just being negative, but they don't realise the amount of times I've thought of just ending it.

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Em Norton-Mathews
Community Member
4 years ago

I can relate to this so much, I worked retail for 20 years and it was so mentally exhausting that when I got home, I would just sleep or avoid my loved ones because I couldn't bear the human contact. It would be a real struggle to get out of bed on time for my next shift and I would spend most of that time crying at the thought of the day ahead. I don't work in retail anymore and I'm in a wonderful career now but I find it really hard to go into a shop now, especially if they're loud and busy and I have had a couple of panic attacks in them.

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#90

I am depressed, have GAD and really bad OCD. I am in therapy and on meds, with a good support network around me, but I still have my episodes. Each time I think that I'll see it coming next time. Although I'm much better at seeing the red flags, it still happens. It's going to keep happening.

The biggest struggle has been realizing that I guess there are limitations to what I can do about this and that I need to accept it. The end result is always the same: I can't sleep for longer periods of time, I am so tired, like completely exhausted to the point, where I can barely keep things afloat in terms of showing up for work and paying bills, let alone socializing. My OCDs go off the rails and the simplest tasks like doing the groceries or speaking to people freak me out to a ridiculous extend. The worst part, however, is the fact that I am simply unable to see all the good things in my life. The loving, supportive friends, an understanding boss, kindest, most patient boyfriend. And I feel so guilty. So undeserving, worthless and pretty much a bad person. It's like my body and my skin are the barrier between me and all of these good things in my life that I can't reach out to and touch. That's the worst part.

I am not in a good place right now, but I'm trying. Baby steps. I'd like to reach out to all of you and say thanks. All of you are awesome for sharing. Keep on keepin' on. We got this. xx

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Andrea Primo Pierotti
Community Member
4 years ago

I had OCD when I was 14-16 and now I have problems with panic attack and anxiety. I'm sorry for your condition, but I see that you are aware of that and that you have an excellent insight. This is so important for get better! I wish you the very very best. A virtual hug to you.

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#91

People dont understand why im always tired. They tell me to get more sleep as if getting more than 10 or 12 hours while having a full time job is even possible. They dont understand why Im worried about starting grad school and getting less sleep. They dont understand that school has wound me inpatient before and a decrease in sleep can quickly result in suicidal thoughts. I get told im overreacting, attention seeking, or otherwise being ridiculous. It hurts.

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#92

How do I know if I’m depressed ? I definitely have the symptoms, but have no reason to be depressed. I have a life that anyone could feel grateful for .

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Cathy O'Brien
Community Member
4 years ago

There doesn't have to be a reason. Prince or pauper, mental health issues do not discriminate.

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#93

When you watch tv, listen to the music, play some online games, chat with strangers, all at the same time - just to create flood of informations in hope to sank depressive thoughts.

When you excessively masturbate, ten times a day, or more - just to provide enough dopamine kicks to cope with depressive thoughts.

When your legs just cant stop prancing, restlessly pounding up and down, when you twist your fingers in every possible way - just to redirect your focus from depressive thoughts.

When you are sarcastic as hell, when you sting people like a wasp with your words - just to hide the fact you are dying out of fear from depressive thoughts...

You do lots and lots of stuff... Weird, repetitive, harmful. Because you are facing opponent, who cannot be defeated - only subdued, from which you cannot run out - only hide.

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Bear Mighty
Community Member
1 year ago

I have read 92 of these so far and this is extremely relatable

#94

I've given up on finding love again because I don't believe I'm good enough for anyone.

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artcatcms
Community Member
4 years ago

I totally get it!

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#95

I was told: "Go out, do something that is good for you", "You have to have to get more exercise", "It will be better soon" and so on.
"Why are you depressed? Life is beautiful!" is like "Why do you suffer from asthma? There ist enough air around!"
But I also had my mum, she hugged me day for day, needed no words. Helped me through the darkest times. Gave me the "second birth". Love her so much.

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Megan Harrison
Community Member
2 years ago

My mum shuts my bedroom door if I'm crying 🤔 I am all alone in a world I don't belong to

#96

I have seen myself and my situations in almost every one of these comments, I have been struggling with severe depression for over 16 years. every time I think I am gonna get better, it only lasts for a few hours, then I am back to the depression . these comments have described me almost exactly . it helps me to feel some better to know I am not alone, but I still feel so alone. thank you all for being so open and honest about your feelings and situations.

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Trudie Harvey
Community Member
2 years ago

I see myself in almost every post as well. It’s comforting to know I’m not completely alone and yet so sad to know that so many ppl experience this.

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#97

I never realised that depression affected my sanity. after going through a huge spell of being depressed would often be giddy and homicidal for a few hours, or even days after i recoverd. it was really scarry and i cut myself more after the depression spell than i did durning

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#98

My parents think I'm narcissistic and superficial but im very self conscious and lonely. Being with myself, my reflection, makes me feel less lonely, like I have company.

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#99

Suddenly the world has become a dangerous and unhappy place. I fear for my children and grandchildren's future growing up in a world like this. There won't be any jobs left because machines will take over, so what future do we have to look forward to ? Over populated, under resourced, unaffordable and extremely violent.

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Big Bird
Community Member
1 year ago

Totally agree!!! And that's the truth nothing to do with depression!!!

#100

Since I take my medication it became less horrible, but before that I stayed in bed for days, it took me almost a year to finish my bachelor thesis, because all I could do was force myself to the library, stare at the blank laptop for hours, read half a page and go back home, exhausted, full of self hate. Tired. Used. Worthless. Stupid.
The rest of the time I'm a loud and over-performing person, an entertainer, everybody seems to be impressed by my energy - but as soon as I'm alone I feel I don't deserve love and I'm just a personage in this world but no real human being. I'm drawn to alcohol, nicotine and more, it makes me feel good and belong somewhere for at least a short time.

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#101

Two things:

I write and publish a lot, and make money at it. True, I need a creative outlet, and also true, I make money... but I write because I would rather live in a fictional universe than the real one. I wake up every day disappointed that I'm not dead. Escapism has always been my drug of choice.

I apologize for everything, even things that couldn't conceivably be my fault. I feel so bad for inflicting my existence upon other people that I compulsively apologize for anything, when I'm really apologizing for being alive.

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Eisenach-mutti
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

For gods sake, I Even apologized over and over to the nurses and doctors whilst giving birth to my child. Now that tops it all. I am horrified by it but it came natural and although I was happy to have a child I was feeling even then depressed and worthless. So sad really.

#102

Becoming so depressed I lose my mind for a bit and take out my frustration from life on the people I love the most. I don't have many people I trust or care for. It's causing me to lose the people I love and eventually they get replaced, like a never ending cycle. I'm losing the man I love because of this, and I hate myself so much. It kills my will, each time I break, to even go on with life more and more. Already been in the hospital 2 times for suicide prevention this year alone and about to go back yet again because of all this.

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June Bishop
Community Member
4 years ago

Please reach out and be determined to get help!!! I know it is hard when you feel like shit, but 'we', somehow, must go on. My mind doesn't agree but my heart tells me I have people who love me. Is there just one person you can think of that does love you and genuinely care about you in your life? I hope there is. We need those such as you around to help others like us. To relate to each other, validation is priceless in these situations.

#103

I get really irritable from my depression around family and spend hours in my room instead of coming out to play a "family game''. Also, showering and brushing my teeth. My parents don't understand that it's hard for me and frequently call my poor habits disgusting.

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#104

I'm better now that I'm older (70), but so many many times throughout my life I have been deeply depressed, isolated, and even though there were options available to me - therapy, medications, friends - I often could not bring myself to ask for help, because the things that bothered me seemed so trivial and numerous that I felt no one could believe I was allowing such things stop me from living. My IQ was 145, but I couldn't seem to get beyond getting dressed and going out the door.

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Rosemarie Ventura
Community Member
4 years ago

I'm glad to hear things are better now that you're older. The medication that ended up helping me best was not put approved for use in the USA until around 2002. Before that my condition was "treatment resistant". So I've also gone decades without effective treatment. I am sorry you did not feel able to reach out when you were younger.

#105

I died when my husband died

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Linda Nelson
Community Member
2 years ago

I died when it finally sunk in that my boyfriend didn’t care about what I’m going thru and then added to the whole situation by constantly blaming me or telling me I don’t listen , never shut up or my opinions are wrong. He said he just shuts up so now I’ve shut down. I’m done. It’s just the same when my family was alive. They were crazy but all of them put it on me as the crazy one. I’m dead inside. I wake up disappointed that I woke up ... again. Being 53 I thought I’d be married with grandkids Nope I own nothing. Not a house car have zero credit and no job No hobbies. And 2 friends who thankfully sorta understand but I don’t think they know that I truly would rather be dead I’m most definitely not doing well

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#106

People probably think I’m lazy. The good part is I don’t/can’t seem to care; the problem is me thinking I’m just lazy. Many other people deal with this; I’m not special. Sometimes I want to talk about it, but I feel like I’m just making excuses for myself or seeking attention. It’s a downward spiral with no good way out.

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#107

Sometimes my head spins so fast and has so many thoughts going through it at once, I become paralyzed. I can't think or move.

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#108

Overthinking and getting lost in conversation with someone, not because u don't care but because u get used to feeling numb, not listening or speaking too much out loud. Thoughts and feelings become connected and alot of the time u feel like a negative person, like there is a devil on each shoulder and only 1 long dark path ahead...

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#109

I've given up trying. Everything is overwhelming. Some people can 'take a shower.' For me it means finding the will to do it. Finding something clean to put on. Remembering I've neglected the laundry. Hunting for a clean towel. Knowing I'll have to face myself naked. Feeling so unsteady that I'm going to fall every time I turn around to rinse my hair. Drying off and needing to put on lotion because my skin is burning with dryness but I don't want to physically touch myself. My body disgusts me. I just want to cover myself back up, climb back in to my safe chair - where I pretty much live - and cover myself in a pile of blankets and fall asleep. Between mental and physical effort it's taken me at least 2 hours. I'm filled with a sense of failure that all I can manage in a day is to clean myself. I wish I could just 'take a shower.'

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Megan Shaw
Community Member
1 year ago

Yep! Me too.

#110

I guess this is why I can't seem to take a shower without much prompting and even 12 hours sleep isn't enough and I don' have the energy to talk on the phone unless I am laying down. I take a tranquilizer. I didn't realize that I should take the second pill the doctor said was allowed. Thanks for posting this.

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#111

Waking up every morning with that pit in my stomach knowing that today is going to be just like every other day; putting a smile on my face and fooling everyone into thinking everything is ok and that I’m a positive person.
Feeling like a burden in everyone’s life. Wondering if the real reason people hang out with me is because they feel sorry for me or they don’t want to hurt my feelings. Wondering if people just get sick of me.
Constantly “bothering” people with my anxieties and my worries and my insecurities and my fears.
Apologizing and feeling bad for every little thing I do, even if it’s minuscule or nothing at all.
Reading into every little detail of conversation and over analyzing everything that is said to me, through text or in person, trying to figure out what I did wrong or what the person is really trying to tell me. I take everything the wrong way.
Constantly feeling like a failure. Like I’m never going to be smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough. I will never be enough for somebody and most everybody.
Hating how my brain just doesn’t shut off. It’s running through every situation of the day and trying to dissect what I did wrong and what I could have done better.
And no matter what, no matter how good something is, waiting for something bad to happen. Waiting for something to come in (me) and screw everything up.

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Trudie Harvey
Community Member
2 years ago

Same.

#112

If I'm not at work, I just sleep. When I'm at work all I want to do is sleep. Sleep is a place that's safe from my thoughts.

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#113

Constantly feeling like your a fake at school because you smile and laugh along with your so called "friends" that don't even know the real you. They tease you about how many days of school you missed when they don't even realize how hard it is for me to even get up in the morning,shower,dress,and get to school on time.

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#114

Answering “I’m fine” to anyone asking how you’re doing on autopilot. I hate this question. When people ask if I’m ok, I pretty much have to answer with a lie because if I were to answer honestly all the shit I feel people would run away screaming. People don’t actually wanna know an honest answer.

At one point I had a therapist that at every weekly meeting would ask how my week was. At one point I came in really distressed and spent the first 10 minutes crying about all the shit that happened. When I calmed down she asked me the usual question of how my week had been and I automatically without thinking answered “it was fine”. That’s how ingrained it was. I managed to pass it off as a joke though.

The only person I would ever answer honestly was my mom. But more and more she would just make me feel guilty for telling the truth. The other day one of my pets died when I was away. Once I stopped crying and was lying in bed she came in and asked if I was ok. I answered I’m fine. I only realized later what I had said. It destroyed me when I realized that the only person I though I could trust and be honest with had made me feel like she was so tired of me that I automatically answered her with a lie just like everyone else.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone. I’ve lost my trust in everyone.

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#115

A friend of mine is diagnosed with the same mental disorders that I am diagnosed with. She puts herself on a pedestal and explains to everyone that will listen that she deserves whatever it is, because things are tough for her. Because of her mental illness, she cannot hold a "regular job". She can't be respectful and/or considerate of others and their perspectives/thoughts/feelings. She throws huge year-long pitty parties and embeds herself in whatever drama she can find. Excuse me, I have this diagnosis too. Yet, I have an adult job. An adult place to live with my adult responsibilities. Yes, I struggle, hard core. But I do not use it as an excuse, ever. I would KILL to be able to stay in bed all day. That would feel amazing. Unfortunately, I live in the real-world that makes me work for money. I have doctor's appointments. I have bills. I work on myself more than I ever thought was possible. Now, people think I am "normal". Mid-class, white, female that lives in a rich neighborhood, come from a stable home. Bi-polar/non-existent mother, PSTD/workaholic father. I wrote the book on neglectful parenting and I STILL WORK MY BUTT OFF TO AFFORD MY TINY ONE BEDROOM APT. Please, tell me again how I don't know what I am talking about.

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#116

I get flighty when I'm depressed about work. The slightest thing would cause me to want to quit my job. Even now that I have a job I love, it's a struggle with my "Fight or Flight" mentality. Even if I feel like everything is going great, if something I don't like comes up (i.e. not making enough money), I start getting antsy to move on. Seeing a counselor helped me tame this a lot, but I still have that constant struggle. My counselor helped me realize that, while this is largely due to depression - there is also a significant part of it, that is a result of growing up in a home where my dad moved and switched jobs a lot. We had many great experiences growing up from the different places we traveled and lived, but I can see how that affected my parents' marriage and if I didn't make significant changes in my life, would ultimately set the same trend in my marriage.

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#117

When my kids were younger it was easier to hide. They are teens and young adults now and they don't get it. Their friends think I am cool and easy going, always enjoy my house to hang out at. Reality is I can't fight anymore. I hope they got enough raising because I am done. I have a fantastic hubby who just "fills" in when I head into my cycle of depression, I am really good at preparing by stocking the house, prepaying bills and arranging my schedule to affect them as little as possible. But that is all the life I have now. I wake up, get them to school, race through chores and errands, grab take out lunch, and nap until they get home. Make supper, or order in, and back to bed to watch stupid reality shows. I am past exhausted all the time, and I know that I will pay if I expend the little energy I have. A 5 minute school visit costs an afternoon at least. By the time I am home all I can do is lie down and let the obsessive thoughts fly until my mind shuts off and I sleep. Not restorative sleep, but deep deep paralyzing sleep that just makes me more exhausted and less able to do what is necessary.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago

Your post reminds me of how intertwined depression and being overworked/burned out seem to be. Burnout has terrible consequences, depression or depressionlike symptoms being one of them. I wish you well.

#118

I cant sleep even if I am exhausted. Fall asleep late wake up early so now I am working everyday just to stay away from going home.

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#119

I don't go to sleep until 2 or 3am. I sit on the couch and think of everything I need to do before I can get into bed: take my dishes to the sink, shower, brush and floss, unplug my computer, put my daughter in her own bed. OCD on top of depression and anxiety makes things even worse.

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Amy Ninnes
Community Member
4 years ago

Yep. I have overthinking ocd

#120

I had a really bad depressive episode in July. (My therapist says that in the old days, it would have been called a nervous breakdown.) It felt like everything was crashing down around me and it would never get better. I learned that if you leave a message with my PCP and use the word hopeless, they get right back to you. I’d been taking the same antidepressants for almost 15 years, so he sent me to a psychopharmacology specialist, put me on a different combo of antidepressants and added an anti anxiety med, for my previously undiagnosed anxiety disorder. Slowly but surely, I’m becoming me again. I was afraid I had early onset dementia, but my cognitive abilities are returning to the way I was 20 years ago. I guess I would say not to underestimate the importance of properly prescribed mood meds. (In addition to a great therapist.)

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago

How I wish I could give you a hundred up-votes for this!

#121

Lethargic. Feels like an effort to breathe. Heavy chest. Throat feels constricted like a cry trying to get out but its blocked. I PUSH myself into activities - set small goals, complete certain tasks - MUST be done by end of day. It helps.

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#122

Being on top of and the master of your world only for depression to come along and make achieving one item on your to-do list feel completely unattainable.

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#123

I've given up trying. Everything is overwhelming. Some people can 'take a shower.' For me it means finding the will to do it. Finding something clean to put on. Remembering I've neglected the laundry. Hunting for a clean towel. Knowing I'll have to face myself naked. Feeling so unsteady that I'm going to fall every time I turn around to rinse my hair. Drying off and needing to put on lotion because my skin is burning with dryness but I don't want to physically touch myself. My body disgusts me. I just want to cover myself back up, climb back in to my safe chair - where I pretty much live - and cover myself in a pile of blankets and fall asleep. Between mental and physical effort it's taken me at least 2 hours. I'm filled with a sense of failure that all I can manage in a day is to clean myself. I wish I could just 'take a shower.'

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#124

Dealing with so many health issues, hooking up to a machine every night for dialysis. No energy to get out of bed. What is the point of living this life?

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#125

I sometimes go to the hardware store where I worked part time for 18+ years. Not because I need anything but so that I can help a customer or three and
it makes me feel useful and I'm free to leave when I want.
In all the years I worked there, only one other employee guessed the reason for my off-shift visits.

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#126

It makes me feel so sad to hear that so many ppl feel this way too. We were all once awe filled precious little children, who have somehow been beaten down by the modern world. Surely theres got to be a way out. An underlying cause for so much widespread pain. Maybe its our seperation from nature and a more natural way of life. I know that my dogs have always been a source of hope for me to keep going and to see some good in the world. They show me that im important and awesome, to them at least. Now if i could just start believing that about myself.

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#127

I was overwhelmed by everyone and everything, work, family, partner, colleagues, friends, housemate... I felt that everyone needs something from me and I couldn't handle it. Then I became untisocial, burned out, I was cancelling everything, leaving messy room, not having mood for anything. I didn't want to go for shopping, cooking and felt that my parner doesn't understand what I am going through.

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