35 People Share What They Thought Was A Useless Piece Of Advice, But Changed Their Minds After Trying It
Who doesn’t hate a piece of random advice coming straight at you with full force of unneeded impact? If there's anything the world would be better off without, it would be unsolicited advice.
But in reality, these wisdom bites from colleagues, friends, and whoever feels confident enough to throw one out are so common, you wonder how come they’re still legal. And one Reddit user u/5000Castillo decided to find out whether some of the advice is actually useful.
The question “What felt like a useless piece of advice until you actually tried it?” which, at first, seemed to be crossing the line, got almost 60K upvotes and a whopping 20.2K comments. The answers are in, and you will be surprised to hear the results.
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My dad always told me ‘Ask anyway, the worst they can say is no’ when buying something or when I needed something from another person. Seemed stupid to ask if I was sure they would say no but I was also a socially anxious kid. Turns out that advice has helped me with school, with raises, with people in general, with plans with new friends...
Instead of saying, "I'm sorry for being late," or something,
say, "thank you for being patient"
Didn't realize the effect that could have on people, and instead of putting yourself down, you bring another up.
Thank you for your patience as a sign off when I am late submitting a task works wonders
Its better to lose a second of your life than to lose your life in a second.
People on the road need to just slow down a little. It’ll save your life
Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Audrey Tang, a chartered psychologist and the author of "Be A Great Manager Now" and "The Leader's Guide to Mindfulness," to find out more about unsolicited advice and what to do when you get a piece of it.
Audrey suggests viewing such advice as if it were a physical gift: “just because it’s offered, it doesn’t mean we have to accept it.” For this reason, the psychologist urges us to “never upset yourself over the opinion of someone from whom you have not asked advice.”
Moreover, Audrey believes that not all unsolicited advice is useless, especially “if it has come from someone who has experience within the subject matter.”
She said that if advice comes with examples, or evidence, or ways in which you can further research the area in question, it can indeed be very helpful. “This is true of forums too,” she added.
Clean as you cook, dishes right away, and 10 minutes every day walking through the house picking things up/organizing.
So much better than hours of cleaning on one day
My mom does this. It's much more productive and you have a cleaner work space
Compliment people behind their backs. Sounds stupid but works wonders.
Just don't drink today. Surely you can do that. Then just repeat.
It's been 19+ years.
However, as a psychologist, Audrey doesn't give advice unless it is sought (and paid for), “mainly because in most unsolicited contexts, there is no time to get into depth with any issue and I wouldn't want any form of misunderstanding on either part.”
The psychologist explains that unsolicited advice may have come because “someone thought it was solicited.” Other times, it comes from people “who are bored, or who want a distraction from dealing with things going on in their own lives.”
Audrey gave an example: “Rather than working on my own marriage, I might focus on giving relationship advice to others,” some think.
Directly expressing my needs instead of hinting.
Being Aspergic I totally get this. Do not hint to me, I. WILL. JUST. NOT. GET. IT. EVER. You have to tell me directly what you want/need etc.
On my wedding day my Grandmother said to me "Never do anything around the house that you don't plan on doing for life". At the time I thought it was a terrible advice. When I was mowing the lawn at 7 1/2 months pregnant I got what she meant.
Cleanining your house before leaving for more than 5 days. Nothing is better than coming to a clean house.
Another theory on why some of us are so drawn to throwing out advice here and there comes down to the evolutionary aspect of humans living in communities.
Audrey explained: “We are fundamentally social creatures—in the past, we would have had to rely on our society to keep us safe—so we are likely to have an awareness of how to 'fit in' and a sense of unpleasantness when we do not.”
If we’re at odds with others, we may feel guilt. The psychologist summed up that “this can drive us to 'make comments' if it looks like someone is not fitting in.”
My grandfather told me this and I never understood it until I had my own place. Always buy the cheap tools at first and if you wear it out/break it then you use it enough to justify getting a nicer more expensive one.
I always buy the midrange tools, and never buy the cheap tools -- they don't work as well (cheap wrenches have looser tolerances and don't fit bolts well, screwdrivers slip out of screw heads, etc). It's not that much more money and well worth it in better usability. My brother broke a finger once with a cheap wrench, he was trying to get a stubborn bolt off his lawnmower, the wrench broke and his hand slammed into the side of the lawnmower.
Pay bills, SAVE, then spend.
people dont seem to do this anymore but they should to be financially sound
When you’re stressed, make a to do list. I was always like, I KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO GET DONE I JUST CANT DO IT ALL. But if you write it down it doesn’t have to all live in your brain and you can focus.
you also get some happy-hormones when you scratch a thing of your list. Gives you energy for the next tasks
Leftie loosie, rightie tightie
Since I learned this, I constantly use it^^ Used to be a clutz who forgets which direction unscrews stuff^^
Just shut up and listen. Actually listen.
Too many people don't know how to just listen without thinking that they have to add to the conversation. No just stop. You don't have to add anything. You are not helping. You aren't even paying attention to wait is being said because you are thinking of what you can say.
And a lot of people are talking without thinking. Just count their "Ehh"s "Hmm"s" and "Ahum"s
If it takes less than 5 minutes, do it immediately
I do so much less housework on weekends because of this
Yes, as my pilates instructor famously says, "it's only five minutes of your life!"
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
Practice gratitude. Grateful people are happy people.
My mom told me to spend good money on the things that separate you from the ground: tires, shoes, mattress. I finally bought good not cheap shoes and life was SIGNIFICANTLY better. They last so much longer and my back and posture improved too. She’s not wrong about tires and a mattress either
I'm overweight and I have problems in one of my feet from wearing cheap shoes to work all the time. I finally shelled out about $80 for a good pair of work shoes and, good gods, the difference it made. My hips, my knees, my ankles, my back, and my heel all felt SO much better. I used to blame it all on my weight, and while it still gives me problems, having proper support really makes all the difference
If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say nothing at all.
People dont wanna hear "Eww, yuck, you like that?" When referring to someone's food for example.
This too shall pass. On those days when I just feel like I can't take it I think of that, and I know tomorrow will be different. Someone once told me, "tomorrow may not be better, but at least it'll be different." In a strange way that too is comforting.
There was a story where a king (Akbar) asked his advisor (Birbal) what slogan he should write in the entrance of the palace that makes people happy and sad at the same time. He chose "This too shall pass," because it reminds a sad person that better things are on their way, yet prevents a person from being too indulgent in their happiness.
My therapist told me the next time I'm going to have a panic attack to just give in and tell myself it was ok to have one . I told him he was crazy. After a couple tries it started working to my amazement. I haven't had a panic attack in 3 years
Yeah, if more people had been given permission to feel okay to panic or be scared there would be less anxiety and fewer panic attacks all round.
If politicians would represent constitutients, rather than themselves, the world would be less stressful.
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When I began having them, I thought I was diing or that I could easyly die. In fact, I went first to the heart doctor... Then I was asked to visit the correct doctor, and both explained me that it's impossible to die in a panic attack. Mines got worse as I was thinking I couldn't breath, and my heart and senses weren't ok, etc. They gave me a pill to eat when having one, but it didn't do anything. What really helped me was to notice that it was true that I wasn't go to die, that it was a (not nice!) physical thing that would pass. It's not fast to enter this aknolegement into the body but it was very usefull to me. I have only few panic attacks since then and I live them very different. My quality life is improved.
The confidence in the sentence "nobody ever died from a panic attack" helped me through a lot of them and finally healed me from them.
Load More Replies... This is good. I don't have panic attacks often, but part of what feeds into it for me and for a lot of people is the vulnerability, and trying to resist it. I get frustrated with myself for having it and want it to stop so bad, and this mental fighting just compounds the problem. Telling yourself it's okay to have it can help combat this cycle before it starts and can reduce the emotional overwhelm at least a little
Exactly! A panic attack is nothing but a faulty 'fight or flight' response. The more you fear your attack, the more convinced your amygdala is that you are in danger. It then floods you with cortisol and adrenaline to SAVE you, but since you aren't in danger it only serves to torment you. Retrain the amygdala. Show it you are fine by not resisting. Accept the awful symptoms as temporary and harmless. They will eventually stop.
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I like this because the fear of having a panic attack increases the anxiety for me. Give myself permission and I decrease my anxiety.
There was an article on BP several months back about different things to do during a panic attack. One of them was to chew ice so your brain focuses on the cold. My wife suffers from panic attacks. Two weeks ago she had one and I got her ice right away. It worked, took less than 15 seconds for it to work. Thank you for that.
Wow, this is the 3rd time I've had the opportunity to bring up Dr. Claire Weekes! She taught the same thing, and it does work. It takes practice. You'll have frustrating setbacks, but it will work. It takes the bite out of you panic. The more you practice, the less frequent your attacks, the less intense, until they are gone for good. Even if you do have another one out of the blue, you know how to handle it. Not adding "second fear" to the initial "first fear" is key.
I hope I translate it correctly, but, in French, we say : "there's nothing more fearful than the fear of the fear itself"
It's the "not allowed to" that makes it happen sometimes. But not for me, I was gonna have one regardless.
but I'm a male, society will torment me to just "Be a man"
This one I cant follow because if I *allow* myself to panic, it evolves into freaking out which ranges from tearing at myself til it bleeds to throwing things around the place or at the source of my panic which then morphs into a rage. If there is no outside target for my rage, it turns against me. When it finally passes, a good two or three hours have passed and I'm more exhausted than if I tried to keep it in, in the first place.
This works for me too. I used to cause myself to have panic attacks when going into a stressful situation simply because I was so worried about having a panic attack! Not easy to give in and accept the anxiety at first but I haven't had a panic attack since using this advice.
If you have body image issues, find one even very small thing you like about yourself. My starting point was a freckle in the middle of my left hand. Whenever you’re feeling bad about yourself, remember you like that ONE thing. Find a new small thing to like about once a month if you can. It becomes easier to find things, and eventually easier to like yourself, in my experience. Thanks for that advice, Mom.
This was kind of how I figured I like my husband before we got together. He was nice to talk to, but it wasn't love at first sight. But when I got to know him, I noticed detail after detail, until I finally came to the realisation (didn't take me long, though, to be honest). And now it's been 2+10 years, and counting, that we're together. Glad it didn't take me too long to find out how I feel. ♡
Be yourself.
The less you care what people think and the more real you are, the more people start to like you.
"Your gums bleed when you floss because you don't floss enough"
Turns out if you floss enough, your gums won't be inflamed so they don't bleed when you floss
Smiling at people. You can get a lot just from a simple smile.
Keeping my shoulders back. It was a suggestion I saw for preventing panic/anxiety. Idk what it is, but when your shoulders are in that position it gives some strange feeling of control. I also read somewhere that during panic attacks the body basically wants to curl into fetal position for protection, so I feel like focusing on keeping your arms down and shoulders back is a conscious way to go against that and stay grounded in reality. Works for me, could work for you too.
Go to the bathroom first thing after having sex.
This is especially important for females as not cleaning after intercourse can cause UTI’s.
Fill your tank all the way up instead of a little at a time.
Life is really much easier if you clean your workplace/room. I clean my room often and it makes me feel calm and clears my head.
Subjective advice, no doubt. For some it might work, for others not so much.
I'm not great at this one, but "don't look for a happy life, look for happy moments".
Ooh, no, not really. Happy moments can be good, but ones like buying new clothes for the excitement will fade away quickly and leave you needing another fix. Wave goodbye to your money and you might become less financially secure. You need to look for profound happiness, so that you will feel good about your life in general. For this, do hobbies, be creative, help people, exercise. This is when you will notice the change within yourself.
Using a stool to lift my feet into a squatting position to poo. What a difference!
Unpack your suitcase the second you get home.
Nope, don’t think I will ever do this lol. When I get home that is one of the last things I want to do.
Not taking your cellphone into bed with you. After awhile you will sleep much easier without the distraction and blue light shining straight into your eyes before bed.
If you have nausea, suck on an ice cube. The nausea will go down.
If you're starting to get the pre-puke mouthful of saliva, stand over the sink and spit it out. Keep spitting if it keeps accumulating. This prevents me from puking 99% of the time. The sink is better than spitting in the toilet, as the mere proximity and close up view makes my stomach think it's ok to let loose. The bathroom sink is far enough away yet close enough to the toilet for the rare time spitting doesn't work.
Note: this post originally had 95 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
Here's mine: if unsure, always assume the best about people's intentions. If you are unsure if something someone said or did to you was meant to hurt or annoy you, assume it wasn't. This will make your life a lot easier and open your eyes to the crazy amount of smoldering conflicts that are caused by nothing but misunderstandings.
I like this. I often asuume oh no what did i do to annoy so and so, when it has nothing to do with anything i did. It kinda works for that too ^-^
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The best thing I ever read was " For everything in life there's one rule: The long way is the short way." And when you really think about it it's so true. Whenever you try to rush things the result is a mess and you often have to start from scratch to get a good result. Fun fact: "The short way is the long way" is also true.
One piece of advice I would give to my younger self would be "Wear sunscreen. Always."
I don't know why you got the down votes. It's a pretty important lesson. One I should live by but don't.
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Mine : Never speak when you are angry, you will give the best speech you ever regretted...
Here's the two I've learned. Before marrying someone make sure they at least share half the interest you have. If you get upset, think; will this matter next week? I've been with my wife for almost 20 years and we rarely fight and when we do, it's not us fighting each other; it's us mad at ones family member or the others lol.
Seek to understand! you would be amazed at how this mind set changes your interactions with people.
Another one and this is the Golden Rule in life: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Basically, treat how people you wish to be treated. If you want people to treat you like an a*****e, be an a*****e. If you want people to be kind, be kind to others.
My husbands advice: don’t stress over things you can’t change, or don’t have control over. Best advice ever.
Here's mine: If you're eating ice-cream or something cold, between bites, push your tongue up to the roof of your mouth to warm it back up. This will avoid brain freezes.
Get up at the same time on your days off as your work days. Still okay to take an afternoon nap.
I forget where I heard this, but it is so helpful. If you know you are going to be late, quit rushing around and slow down. It's better to be late and composed than to be late and flustered. One that I figured out for myself: When someone cuts me off, darts in and out of traffic, or grossly exceeds the speed limit I don't get mad. Instead, I tell myself how thankful I am that where I'm going isn't important enough to need to risk my life to get there faster.
I have a trick to get rid of hiccups (I've been called a "bruja" and a "gypsy" by people that I've used it on because it works so well haha)... When you have the hiccups, have someone hold and squeeze the tips of your middle fingers (not hard but with decent amount of pressure), as they do that hold your breath and swallow three times (with the same breath). I usually wait a few more seconds (as the person squeezing the fingers) then let go. 9/10 times it works.
My tips is "Do not ever believe in something as bad luck.. except for bad deed ". Like if you believe bad luck on number 13, then your thought will quickly think any thing not usual or you not wanted as a bad luck, which worsen the problem.. But it is different with bad beed... Any bad deed will always make you get a bad deed from people
Here's mine: if unsure, always assume the best about people's intentions. If you are unsure if something someone said or did to you was meant to hurt or annoy you, assume it wasn't. This will make your life a lot easier and open your eyes to the crazy amount of smoldering conflicts that are caused by nothing but misunderstandings.
I like this. I often asuume oh no what did i do to annoy so and so, when it has nothing to do with anything i did. It kinda works for that too ^-^
Load More Replies... The best thing I ever read was " For everything in life there's one rule: The long way is the short way." And when you really think about it it's so true. Whenever you try to rush things the result is a mess and you often have to start from scratch to get a good result. Fun fact: "The short way is the long way" is also true.
One piece of advice I would give to my younger self would be "Wear sunscreen. Always."
I don't know why you got the down votes. It's a pretty important lesson. One I should live by but don't.
Load More Replies... Mine : Never speak when you are angry, you will give the best speech you ever regretted...
Here's the two I've learned. Before marrying someone make sure they at least share half the interest you have. If you get upset, think; will this matter next week? I've been with my wife for almost 20 years and we rarely fight and when we do, it's not us fighting each other; it's us mad at ones family member or the others lol.
Seek to understand! you would be amazed at how this mind set changes your interactions with people.
Another one and this is the Golden Rule in life: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Basically, treat how people you wish to be treated. If you want people to treat you like an a*****e, be an a*****e. If you want people to be kind, be kind to others.
My husbands advice: don’t stress over things you can’t change, or don’t have control over. Best advice ever.
Here's mine: If you're eating ice-cream or something cold, between bites, push your tongue up to the roof of your mouth to warm it back up. This will avoid brain freezes.
Get up at the same time on your days off as your work days. Still okay to take an afternoon nap.
I forget where I heard this, but it is so helpful. If you know you are going to be late, quit rushing around and slow down. It's better to be late and composed than to be late and flustered. One that I figured out for myself: When someone cuts me off, darts in and out of traffic, or grossly exceeds the speed limit I don't get mad. Instead, I tell myself how thankful I am that where I'm going isn't important enough to need to risk my life to get there faster.
I have a trick to get rid of hiccups (I've been called a "bruja" and a "gypsy" by people that I've used it on because it works so well haha)... When you have the hiccups, have someone hold and squeeze the tips of your middle fingers (not hard but with decent amount of pressure), as they do that hold your breath and swallow three times (with the same breath). I usually wait a few more seconds (as the person squeezing the fingers) then let go. 9/10 times it works.
My tips is "Do not ever believe in something as bad luck.. except for bad deed ". Like if you believe bad luck on number 13, then your thought will quickly think any thing not usual or you not wanted as a bad luck, which worsen the problem.. But it is different with bad beed... Any bad deed will always make you get a bad deed from people
