Psychologists think we tend to ignore red flags because we simply don’t want to be right. Falling in love can really mess up our minds, and turning a blind eye to behavior that’s obviously not right is one way. After all, finding someone you truly like is like winning the lottery these days, but no matter how much we’d want to fall in love, some glaring signs indicate we may be better off without them.
Examples of Red Flags (Funny But True)
When X user Lauren Chanel (formerly of Twitter) asked, “What’s a simple red flag that has never failed you? Something small like a person quoting 48 Laws of Power”—it struck a chord with many people.
The illuminating replies started pouring in, and they definitely shed light on what to be cautious about in our love interests. You might find some of the biggest red flags in a guy funny at first glance, but they actually reveal what kind of a person they are. From people who say they hate animals to “littering,” some things may look basic or funny at first, but when you really think about it…
Whether you find the biggest red flags in a girl funny or not, the following compilation may save you from taking the wrong step. By the way, this isn't just a collection of funny red flags for girls; it includes funny red flags for guys, too!
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Took a woman on a date years ago who did that. Had our waitress constantly attending our table, you could tell she got off on having a "servant." It was a major turnoff. Didn't go out with her again after that.
I have always wondered why people think that it is alright to say that they hate cats. The general response would be "Yeah, I get it. Cats are assholes." If you say you hate a dog, then the whole world is against you. "How dare you hate a dog? What sort of sub-human are you?" To cat-haters: what in the world did a cat ever do to you? So, yes, I'd run far, far away from someone who would harm a cat, or any animal, really.
Have you ever been in love? Your best friend, your family friend, your parent? If so, you’d know very well how love changes people. Thankfully, the transformation is usually for the better, but sometimes, we fall head over heels so deeply that we lose the ability to detect doubts and other negative reactions we have with our love interests.
Elite Daily interviewed some experts. Here’s what they had to say about blind love and its impact on the people in the relationship.
In fact, very few of us are immune to this phenomenon, says nationally recognized psychotherapist Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, who considers blind love to be something that doesn’t have to do with appearances. It usually hits during the honeymoon phase, when we still haven’t had enough time to experience the negative side of our loved ones.
According to relationship expert Susan Winter, who also spoke to Elite Daily, the honeymoon phase brings all the best parts of our significant others to the spotlight. “We haven’t experienced the many times they’ll disappoint, let us down, and hurt us. These are the things that occur later in a relationship. Without knowing the totality of our partner, we are forced to see them in a state of love blindness.”
omg - the most violent person I know is a huge litter bug - flings stuff all over the place, disgusting...also a serial domestic abuser and physically violent
Took my date to a great restaurant where one of my best friends was our waiter. I introduced them to each other. On the ride home my date said to me " I cannot believe you would introduce me to a waiter... and what is it with you wearing a trench coat to a luxe restaurant.. don't you have anything nicer?" LAST DATE.
After the honeymoon phase ends, many lovebirds start to see and experience the not-so-pretty side of their relationship. This is why recognizing your initial doubts at the beginning of a relationship is crucial. Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach, suggests seeking a person who can meet one’s needs “regardless of surface or social standing.”
“They need to not completely judge people right off the bat, but they should also prioritize those compatibility traits.” Thus, often, that very first hint of a negative reaction you have may be the most telling one. Basically, don’t ignore the red flags!
That's part of someone's identity, It's important you get it right to respect them if they are sensitive or feel more comfortable with you doing so.
A basic apology demonstrates remorse for something you did or didn't do. You start by saying "I'm sorry." Then you identify what it was that you did or didn't do to offend, you show you understand it hurt or offended the other person and how it hurt or offended them, and you tell them what you will do to avoid repeating it in the future. For example: "Hey, John- I'm sorry I told Mike you were getting divorced. You told me that in confidence and I know I betrayed your trust by sharing it with him. I value your trust, John, and promise you that if you ever confide in me again, my lips will be sealed." Notice I didn't offer an excuse like "I did it just that one time" or " I didn't know it wasn't public info." OWN IT when you apologize. Explaining yourself can come later if THEY request it. Otherwise, you're just throwing out excuses and not owning it.
Ex friend kept doing this to me. I would start a conversation that she would wave away with with the comment 'oh, you and your x idea' as though it was weird when it was usually just something I'd seen in the news and wanted to share thinking she'd be interested. She'd roll her eyes and pull faces if she didn't understand or agree. She would demean compliments I got from people to make them appear worthless. I realised her low self esteem got a boost from belittling me. People who only feel better when they try to diminish you are not genuine friends. Real friends would want to listen and support you. Even if you miss the fun times (I do) it's truly not worth the other times when you go home upset and thinking 'what on earth was that for?'.
People who won't apologise. Accept it if you have stuffed up. There is no weakness in recognising that and saying sorry to those you have hurt. It is weak to try and hide it, cowardly to try and pretend you did nothing wrong.
In UK, in most supermarkets, you have to put a £1 coin to get a trolley. If you want your coin back, you must return the trolley. (and yes, we call it a trolley!)
Similar to "if they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you."
My sister would believe 100% every critical story about every new boyfriend's exes. Boyfriend after boyfriend - they all had evil exes. Then, shock, discover that her boyfriends were actually the people with the problem. Not saying that applies in all cases but be wary if it's a trend in the partners you pick.
I used to work as a cleaner. I couldn't understand why some people would leave their lunch rubbish on the table when you had to pass the bin to leave the room!
IMHO? We have to be careful what we mean by "drama", as in, do we mean overexaggerating small problems, or do we mean the person is a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, or do we mean that they had bad luck and are feeling crappy about it?
I've never been religious, but I do like that line in the bible about how when you do good deeds it doesn't count if you brag about it afterwards. Because it's true - you should do kind, charitable things for their own sake, not just to make yourself look good.
I hate this one. People have always been having their feelings hurt by insensitive (and bigoted) comments. It's just that nowadays it's much more acceptable to call people out on it. For example, decades ago, women had to just quietly take workplace harassment or be fired.
I disagree with this one. There is a lot of politically correct racist and misogynist things said and there are a lot of not politically correct things which are not racist and misogynistic. The preamble is to recognize that you may not agree with what they are saying. That doesn't make it automatically wrong.
Or... I'm a nice person.... it's not for them to judge, it's for people who know them to decide if that's what they think.
It's easy to assume women who don't have women friends must not like women. When really tons of us are just too f*ckin shy ^.^;;
I think basically a woman who would do anything for you, including things like dying, killing, committing to a life of crime, essentially willing to go to extremes with you. All or nothing. Bonnie and Clyde.
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The term originally came from 1950s biker culture where "ride" was defined more literally and a "biker chick" would "stand by her man". The meaning changed so that "ride" would be defined more broadly and a woman would be willing to "ride" out any problems or else die trying.
Yeah, usually what they mean is they want a woman who doesn't have her own mind that lets him make all of her decisions for her. They don't want loyalty they want a controllable doll.
Oh you're one those women who think men are all dominating. Go away.
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I had to look this up, apparently it started with the biking community, but the now broader meaning indicates that you are so passionately devoted to something that nothing less would do. Not a good fit for my view of relationship standards!
Yes. This usually means he's going to wind up bankrupt or in jail
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This is too funny. I guess it's just an American thing. Completely not a real thing, people say all the time. It was based off a rap song back in the 90's. It usually refers to someone that's going to be with you through thick and thin and like they said ^^rob banks or whatever when times get rough lol! If the other person gets caught, you go out guns blazing. Now, we just want someone not to run when we fart. Current 2021 ride or die.
No, it's a biker thing going back at least 70 years.
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Sorry, never heard this and don't know what it means. A woman who enjoys thrills as much as he does so would be a fun companion to be with?
It's a biker thing. The "ride" meant the motorcycle back in the 50's.
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I think the key of the OPs concern is that the men who say she's perfect barely know her... a bit premature to make such an evaluation. Plus those men probably have unrealistic expectations about a relationship with her...
Oh! I have one red flag! People who do not like others JUST because they like different things and judging others by it.
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Beware of the Red Flags!
Did you enjoy those funny red flags? Well, we hope you did and also learned a thing or two about blind love. So, next time you notice a red flag, don’t turn a blind eye to it. What are some of the red flags that you have experienced? Don’t forget to let us know in the comments. Also, share this with your friends and steer them away from these red flags!
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
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"If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best".. Whatever happened to learning to controlling your emotions so you don't hurt other people.
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
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"This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
are we being red flags by saying that we don't have flaws and complaining about others tho?
Red flag: a guy going out with a girl and refering to her as "the whore I went out with" when she is nota around anymore :(
Someone who expected an apology even though they know they're wrong.
"You're either for me or against me"...actually, I am capable of having my own opinions and still having a working relationship with you. I am allowed to disagree with you in a respectful way.
Two more: 1. People who never compromise. 2. People who have/had good parents and don't respect them, take advantage of them or aren't grateful for the things or advantages they give them.
I'm really glad that people finally talking about these things, it's not kindness when you try to tolerate the red flags, it's toxic.
When a person refuses to even acknowledge something you are extremely interested in. Personally, I am interested in cars. I can go on and on about cars, and I try my absolute best not to. When something really exciting happens in the car world, I want to tell people I like because I'm excited about it! It is really harmful to stop someone from talking about something they're passionate about/enjoy and then berate what they want to say.
Red flag: Bored panda not blocking the racist who has been plenty of hateful and racist comments and been reported multiple times.
And suddenly everyone is downvoted a few points...ooh whoever could it be XD (I upvoted you one bk)
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Red flag to me is someone's jealousy over how well others are doing professionally,personally etc.
Anyone who HAD to tell me they were Christian was always trouble . . . AND . . . Anyone who wanted to call me something else after I told them my name meant anything I said would be dismissed.
When someone posts hate speech like Amelija Janavicius has, don't downvote it, report it. Like I just did. Pandas don't tolerate hate speech.
Amelija Janavicius is only capable of one comment. All her posts are identical. Poor child; obviously not capable of functioning as a human being.
Mimi: To report; go all the way right on the dark menu bar : more > contact> report post I have reported her as well, I think she is friends with the staff...
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People who don't understand the concept of "Freedom of Speech" in the US and seem to think it means that they can say whatever the hell they want no matter how inflammatory or offensive without suffering consequences. Freedom of Speech means that you can say something without the US government kicking in your door and hauling you away.
Especially against private entities. Your book publisher canceling your contract doesn’t violate your First Amendment rights.
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Bosses who say they want a 'team player'. That can mean they want someone who knows how to keep their head down, toe the line and shut up.
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There was a guy I was texting and I said something with the essence of "you are a nice guy" and he wondered how I could know since we've never met. It was obvious because he always listened and tried to work with my quirks. He never tried to force anything when I said I wasn't ready (this ranged from meeting to kissing) and was extremely conscientious of stuff I liked and stuff that bothered me. He was a good catch, just not mine :)
Growing up not especially having much, I can't stand people who are rough with expensive things, or careless with anything new. This might not make sense to a lot of people, but if I got a new jacket when younger I treasured it. I see people throw their jacket on the floor and not care, and I can't handle stuff like that.
Nothing wrong about having personal standards but it's what they are - context-dependent red flags that apply to particual people or circumstances. I'm not sure they can serve as universal, fit-for-all red flags, because personality consists of more than one (bad) habit or parlance. I would not judge a person's worth without getting the whole context first.
Thank you for this comment! This was what I was looking for in this entire thread. I understand that many of these red flags are true but others originate from bad or painful experiences, and I thought that there was a lack of context in some of the posts.
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Wow, this was very revealing. I don't normally click on these because I'm not in a relationship or planning to be in one soon, but so many of these were things that my mom exhibited. She blamed all of her problems on other people, never said sorry (and if she did she would always include a but), was always cutting me down, and always emphasized how NICE and what a good parent she was. Looking back, I don't think she was the best parent.
My biggest ones are: --Treats waitstaff, cashiers, janitors, sales associates, etc. like crap. --Doesn't like cats or dogs. --Talks more about what they hate than what they like. --Complements themselves, ie: I'm smart/good looking/great at X/etc. --Complains about PC culture and Cancel culture.
Cancel culture IS stupid. However, people who think that ANYTHING to do with others’ rights is “PC” are people who refuse to see the amount of inequality that still exists in the United States. For someone who has been privileged, seeing others achieve equality can feel like oppression. Insecure jerks...
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Today I learned that I apparently hates someone who generalizing plus judging other people after only a minutes knowing them
I see it now... "red flag" is just another word for "stereotype" and "prejudice" but for people who want to look like they are actually the good guy.
These avoid facing the issue directly, namely getting to know or find out what kind of person is this, who am I dealing with, what are they like.
I had to google the 48 laws of power. Wow. What a right wing, sociopathic, nihilistic, narcissistic, and greedy horror. Pretty sure most modern GOP/MAGA types in the USA love that s**t.
A red flag for me is people who categorize others based on their political affiliation without getting to know them as a person.
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It saddens and perplexes me to see people who are totally aware how horrible someone is yet still falls for them and defends them.
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
Load More Replies... "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best".. Whatever happened to learning to controlling your emotions so you don't hurt other people.
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
Load More Replies... "This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
are we being red flags by saying that we don't have flaws and complaining about others tho?
Red flag: a guy going out with a girl and refering to her as "the whore I went out with" when she is nota around anymore :(
Someone who expected an apology even though they know they're wrong.
"You're either for me or against me"...actually, I am capable of having my own opinions and still having a working relationship with you. I am allowed to disagree with you in a respectful way.
Two more: 1. People who never compromise. 2. People who have/had good parents and don't respect them, take advantage of them or aren't grateful for the things or advantages they give them.
I'm really glad that people finally talking about these things, it's not kindness when you try to tolerate the red flags, it's toxic.
When a person refuses to even acknowledge something you are extremely interested in. Personally, I am interested in cars. I can go on and on about cars, and I try my absolute best not to. When something really exciting happens in the car world, I want to tell people I like because I'm excited about it! It is really harmful to stop someone from talking about something they're passionate about/enjoy and then berate what they want to say.
Red flag: Bored panda not blocking the racist who has been plenty of hateful and racist comments and been reported multiple times.
And suddenly everyone is downvoted a few points...ooh whoever could it be XD (I upvoted you one bk)
Load More Replies... Red flag to me is someone's jealousy over how well others are doing professionally,personally etc.
Anyone who HAD to tell me they were Christian was always trouble . . . AND . . . Anyone who wanted to call me something else after I told them my name meant anything I said would be dismissed.
When someone posts hate speech like Amelija Janavicius has, don't downvote it, report it. Like I just did. Pandas don't tolerate hate speech.
Amelija Janavicius is only capable of one comment. All her posts are identical. Poor child; obviously not capable of functioning as a human being.
Mimi: To report; go all the way right on the dark menu bar : more > contact> report post I have reported her as well, I think she is friends with the staff...
Load More Replies... People who don't understand the concept of "Freedom of Speech" in the US and seem to think it means that they can say whatever the hell they want no matter how inflammatory or offensive without suffering consequences. Freedom of Speech means that you can say something without the US government kicking in your door and hauling you away.
Especially against private entities. Your book publisher canceling your contract doesn’t violate your First Amendment rights.
Load More Replies... Bosses who say they want a 'team player'. That can mean they want someone who knows how to keep their head down, toe the line and shut up.
Load More Replies... There was a guy I was texting and I said something with the essence of "you are a nice guy" and he wondered how I could know since we've never met. It was obvious because he always listened and tried to work with my quirks. He never tried to force anything when I said I wasn't ready (this ranged from meeting to kissing) and was extremely conscientious of stuff I liked and stuff that bothered me. He was a good catch, just not mine :)
Growing up not especially having much, I can't stand people who are rough with expensive things, or careless with anything new. This might not make sense to a lot of people, but if I got a new jacket when younger I treasured it. I see people throw their jacket on the floor and not care, and I can't handle stuff like that.
Nothing wrong about having personal standards but it's what they are - context-dependent red flags that apply to particual people or circumstances. I'm not sure they can serve as universal, fit-for-all red flags, because personality consists of more than one (bad) habit or parlance. I would not judge a person's worth without getting the whole context first.
Thank you for this comment! This was what I was looking for in this entire thread. I understand that many of these red flags are true but others originate from bad or painful experiences, and I thought that there was a lack of context in some of the posts.
Load More Replies... Wow, this was very revealing. I don't normally click on these because I'm not in a relationship or planning to be in one soon, but so many of these were things that my mom exhibited. She blamed all of her problems on other people, never said sorry (and if she did she would always include a but), was always cutting me down, and always emphasized how NICE and what a good parent she was. Looking back, I don't think she was the best parent.
My biggest ones are: --Treats waitstaff, cashiers, janitors, sales associates, etc. like crap. --Doesn't like cats or dogs. --Talks more about what they hate than what they like. --Complements themselves, ie: I'm smart/good looking/great at X/etc. --Complains about PC culture and Cancel culture.
Cancel culture IS stupid. However, people who think that ANYTHING to do with others’ rights is “PC” are people who refuse to see the amount of inequality that still exists in the United States. For someone who has been privileged, seeing others achieve equality can feel like oppression. Insecure jerks...
Load More Replies... Today I learned that I apparently hates someone who generalizing plus judging other people after only a minutes knowing them
I see it now... "red flag" is just another word for "stereotype" and "prejudice" but for people who want to look like they are actually the good guy.
These avoid facing the issue directly, namely getting to know or find out what kind of person is this, who am I dealing with, what are they like.
I had to google the 48 laws of power. Wow. What a right wing, sociopathic, nihilistic, narcissistic, and greedy horror. Pretty sure most modern GOP/MAGA types in the USA love that s**t.
A red flag for me is people who categorize others based on their political affiliation without getting to know them as a person.
Load More Replies... It saddens and perplexes me to see people who are totally aware how horrible someone is yet still falls for them and defends them.
