Psychologists think we tend to ignore red flags because we simply don’t want to be right. Falling in love can really mess up our minds, and turning a blind eye to behavior that’s obviously not right is one way. After all, finding someone you truly like is like winning the lottery these days, but no matter how much we’d want to fall in love, some glaring signs indicate we may be better off without them.
Examples of Red Flags (Funny But True)
When X user Lauren Chanel (formerly of Twitter) asked, “What’s a simple red flag that has never failed you? Something small like a person quoting 48 Laws of Power”—it struck a chord with many people.
The illuminating replies started pouring in, and they definitely shed light on what to be cautious about in our love interests. You might find some of the biggest red flags in a guy funny at first glance, but they actually reveal what kind of a person they are. From people who say they hate animals to “littering,” some things may look basic or funny at first, but when you really think about it…
Whether you find the biggest red flags in a girl funny or not, the following compilation may save you from taking the wrong step. By the way, this isn't just a collection of funny red flags for girls; it includes funny red flags for guys, too!
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Took a woman on a date years ago who did that. Had our waitress constantly attending our table, you could tell she got off on having a "servant." It was a major turnoff. Didn't go out with her again after that.
I have always wondered why people think that it is alright to say that they hate cats. The general response would be "Yeah, I get it. Cats are assholes." If you say you hate a dog, then the whole world is against you. "How dare you hate a dog? What sort of sub-human are you?" To cat-haters: what in the world did a cat ever do to you? So, yes, I'd run far, far away from someone who would harm a cat, or any animal, really.
Have you ever been in love? Your best friend, your family friend, your parent? If so, you’d know very well how love changes people. Thankfully, the transformation is usually for the better, but sometimes, we fall head over heels so deeply that we lose the ability to detect doubts and other negative reactions we have with our love interests.
Elite Daily interviewed some experts. Here’s what they had to say about blind love and its impact on the people in the relationship.
In fact, very few of us are immune to this phenomenon, says nationally recognized psychotherapist Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, who considers blind love to be something that doesn’t have to do with appearances. It usually hits during the honeymoon phase, when we still haven’t had enough time to experience the negative side of our loved ones.
According to relationship expert Susan Winter, who also spoke to Elite Daily, the honeymoon phase brings all the best parts of our significant others to the spotlight. “We haven’t experienced the many times they’ll disappoint, let us down, and hurt us. These are the things that occur later in a relationship. Without knowing the totality of our partner, we are forced to see them in a state of love blindness.”
omg - the most violent person I know is a huge litter bug - flings stuff all over the place, disgusting...also a serial domestic abuser and physically violent
Took my date to a great restaurant where one of my best friends was our waiter. I introduced them to each other. On the ride home my date said to me " I cannot believe you would introduce me to a waiter... and what is it with you wearing a trench coat to a luxe restaurant.. don't you have anything nicer?" LAST DATE.
After the honeymoon phase ends, many lovebirds start to see and experience the not-so-pretty side of their relationship. This is why recognizing your initial doubts at the beginning of a relationship is crucial. Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach, suggests seeking a person who can meet one’s needs “regardless of surface or social standing.”
“They need to not completely judge people right off the bat, but they should also prioritize those compatibility traits.” Thus, often, that very first hint of a negative reaction you have may be the most telling one. Basically, don’t ignore the red flags!
That's part of someone's identity, It's important you get it right to respect them if they are sensitive or feel more comfortable with you doing so.
A basic apology demonstrates remorse for something you did or didn't do. You start by saying "I'm sorry." Then you identify what it was that you did or didn't do to offend, you show you understand it hurt or offended the other person and how it hurt or offended them, and you tell them what you will do to avoid repeating it in the future. For example: "Hey, John- I'm sorry I told Mike you were getting divorced. You told me that in confidence and I know I betrayed your trust by sharing it with him. I value your trust, John, and promise you that if you ever confide in me again, my lips will be sealed." Notice I didn't offer an excuse like "I did it just that one time" or " I didn't know it wasn't public info." OWN IT when you apologize. Explaining yourself can come later if THEY request it. Otherwise, you're just throwing out excuses and not owning it.
Ex friend kept doing this to me. I would start a conversation that she would wave away with with the comment 'oh, you and your x idea' as though it was weird when it was usually just something I'd seen in the news and wanted to share thinking she'd be interested. She'd roll her eyes and pull faces if she didn't understand or agree. She would demean compliments I got from people to make them appear worthless. I realised her low self esteem got a boost from belittling me. People who only feel better when they try to diminish you are not genuine friends. Real friends would want to listen and support you. Even if you miss the fun times (I do) it's truly not worth the other times when you go home upset and thinking 'what on earth was that for?'.
People who won't apologise. Accept it if you have stuffed up. There is no weakness in recognising that and saying sorry to those you have hurt. It is weak to try and hide it, cowardly to try and pretend you did nothing wrong.
In UK, in most supermarkets, you have to put a £1 coin to get a trolley. If you want your coin back, you must return the trolley. (and yes, we call it a trolley!)
Similar to "if they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you."
My sister would believe 100% every critical story about every new boyfriend's exes. Boyfriend after boyfriend - they all had evil exes. Then, shock, discover that her boyfriends were actually the people with the problem. Not saying that applies in all cases but be wary if it's a trend in the partners you pick.
I used to work as a cleaner. I couldn't understand why some people would leave their lunch rubbish on the table when you had to pass the bin to leave the room!
IMHO? We have to be careful what we mean by "drama", as in, do we mean overexaggerating small problems, or do we mean the person is a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, or do we mean that they had bad luck and are feeling crappy about it?
I've never been religious, but I do like that line in the bible about how when you do good deeds it doesn't count if you brag about it afterwards. Because it's true - you should do kind, charitable things for their own sake, not just to make yourself look good.
I hate this one. People have always been having their feelings hurt by insensitive (and bigoted) comments. It's just that nowadays it's much more acceptable to call people out on it. For example, decades ago, women had to just quietly take workplace harassment or be fired.
I disagree with this one. There is a lot of politically correct racist and misogynist things said and there are a lot of not politically correct things which are not racist and misogynistic. The preamble is to recognize that you may not agree with what they are saying. That doesn't make it automatically wrong.
Or... I'm a nice person.... it's not for them to judge, it's for people who know them to decide if that's what they think.
It's easy to assume women who don't have women friends must not like women. When really tons of us are just too f*ckin shy ^.^;;
But if you're shy, you probably have no (or very few) friends of either gender. I think this is for the woman that ostracizes herself to other women.
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I feel like this goes both ways. It's 100% ok to have friends of the opposite gender. I really don't care who you're friends with. I've found it easier as a girl to make friends with boys other than girls. I've seen a lot of guys find it easier to be friends with girls. It's fine. It's really doesn't define you as a person.
For a long time I didn’t have any girl friends simply because I didn’t fit in. I played video games and liked violence and gore. I was an outcast. So I had a large group of guy friends who didn’t care what gender I was.
This was me as well. I was made fun of by girls/women while guys welcomed me with open arms and we talked about games, comics, marvel, and dc stuff all the time.
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It's because there's so many who have had bad experiences in school, workplaces etc with exclusively female social groups. Their problem isn't really other women, it's toxic femininity (ie women who are assholes to other women because they view them as 'competition' etc) There's nothing wrong with enjoying the company of male friends and vice versa. I think that it's still frowned on because people can't believe a man & woman can be friends without wanting to f*ck frankly..
or it could be they are more used to guys- maybe have a lot of brothers and then yes when confronted with an exclusively girls collective they had bad experience- gossiping, betrayal so they just stayed in their comfort zone surrounded by guys. For example I do have female friends but only a few. I preffer guys as they are more honest and have similar humor/interests. I was betrayed before by women and I prefer mixed male-female collectives or exclusively male and I have no desire to be treated special just the oposite. I did eventually marry a friend, but I had a tough decision if I want to go into it and ruin the friendship. But it was never my goal to befriend him so that we could be together. It just sometimes happens. I have many other male friends and never had any romantic/sexual relation with them
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All my she-friends got married and gradually drifted out of touch with still unmarried me, even though I do have a bf. It makes me sad. But I won't get married for the sole reason of hanging out with them again.
If your being married mattered that much to them... well, doesn't sound like they were really the right people for you. Seems rather shallow.
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Male boomer here: I long ago learned to avoid women who are sweet and friendly around men but not women.
Oh I dunno about this one. Up until my mid 30's I had mainly male friends because I just preferred the company of men. Also when I was a teenager- girls were catty and fairly back stabbing. I had no patience or time for that. It's only switched within the past 2 years or so.
I (a woman) don't like other women very much, because growing up I had an overbearing mother, and an abusive sister, and was bullied at school by other girls. I hung out with the boys because I felt safer and more accepted with them. I am working on it though, because I know that "not all women" are bad. Not all men are bad either. It just makes you more cautious.
Congrats on "working on" your issues. I hope you're going to therapy because it sounds like you could use the assistance of some professionals. Because you're working through this issue, have an upvote.
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Well I have about three friends in total, only ones of the same sex as me, and she lives across the country. And when I was younger and I zero friends that were girls, but lot of friends that were boys. When I was younger I just found it easier to approach boys then girls, then middle school hit and it was hard to approach everyone. Period.
Personally, i dont have many girl friends but i have a few. For me, at least, it was more based on the fact that at a certain point we didnt have the same interests anymore. I stayed more with video & pc games, a hippy-ish fashion sense, & preferred to play cards & board games. Most of the girls i knew at the time wanted to go out, get dolled up, and do the "school dance" type activities. That wasnt for me. Most of the guys i knew seemed to follow my line of interests so thats who i ended up sticking with. My bestie is my ride or die though. We've been friends for 20+ yrs & even though our interests are always the same, our personalities still fit like peas in a pod. Shes my Beotch thru & thru...
I always think quality is way better than quantity. Glad you have such a great friend.
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As a woman I don't have any woman as close friends. Not because I hate them, it is because I can't "click" the conversation. Woman tend to speak nice things, and I can't do that. I grow up with profanity., And it is easier for me to blend with the men. Both of my bff is a male. They never have any issue with the gender, and they always listen to me about not to disrespect woman. The downside of our friendship is you won't never want to hear us "communicate" because if it is a movie you will hear a lot of blip.
Where do you exist where none of the women in your life use profanity?? I have a lot of women friends who curse about as much as I do, which is a whole lot. You should open up your horizons some and seek out women with similar interests to you. You'll find the kind of camaraderie you're looking for. Also, congrats on finding two men who are examples of healthy masculinity to be such close friends, and please let them act as positive influences for you. :)
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Or any man that doesnt have female friends (unless he just has very little friends of course). It usually means that they dont see women as humans that can be interesting in their own and see then only as a sex object.
It is entirely normal for men not to have female friends. Men typically only come together for mutual interests, not general companionship, and if their interest are limited to typically masculine activities (e.g. sport and competitive board games), they might go months, or years between hanging out with a woman who isn't their relative or co-worker.
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Back in college I had a (female) roommate like this, who said she never had any long-term female friends, and that she preferred to be friends with guys. I liked her at first, but her behavior later showed me why her previous female friends didn't stick. And you should have seen the way she talked to her mother.
I think of myself as a normal woman and in general I don't have a lot of women friends. I'm a tomboy and love to hang with the guys and do guy stuff. Most of my best friends have been guys. Not sure why that would stop you from trusting me??
In all fairness, this isn't always about the person. I didn't have women friends for a long time, but it was because of two different factors. One, it was hard for me to find women who were interested in the same things as me and wanted to hang out and do them instead of drinking or bar hopping (my personal experience). Second, I was in a very abusive and controlling relationship where I didn't really have any friends except the mutual "friends" my husband chose. I now have a wonderful group of friends that I love dearly.
Wow. This one is just bullshit. A lot of women don't have women friends. Just because you are the same sex, doesn't mean that you have the same interests or opinions. Such a sexist remark.
Agreed!! Apparently my long winded explanation didn't win me any fans...but you hit the nail on the head! 👍
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If you were badly bullied by girls at school/uni then you tend not to have female friends, or it takes you a long time to learn to trust women as friends..
I've always preferred the company of men. If you have a non-romantic relationship with men, things tend to be pretty cool, once they understand that you're not looking to bag them. But I've always felt judged by women. I still try to be fair to women and get along with them and keep things positive, but it never fails, especially at work, that some word will get back to me that they talk sh*t about me, even when they're friendly to my face. And it's usually rumors that are completely made up, or criticism of my looks, the way I dress or a million other things that have nothing to do with me as a person or my job. After 55 years of that, yeah, it's hard to trust women.
Growing up girls did not like me. I was shy and because I always thrived to have girl/women friends, I let them walk all over me. Ive always bent over backwards for my friends and it was never good enough. Either guys they liked liked me (even though I wouldn't like them back) or there was always "something about me" that they didn't/don't like. I was platonically friends with a guy that one of my "friends" thought was hot (I introduced them) and I was trying to hook him up with her one time and because she saw me talking to him, she didn't like me after that and turned all my friends against me. Females are viscous. I don't share this very often but I had girls that were my "friends", in high school, set me up, viscously attack me and I don't mean just physically hurt me, they did unspeakable things.. all because they didn't like me for whatever reason. So I kinda stay away from females, I have acquaintances at work and whatnot but I just stick to my fiancé and my dogs.
this makes zero sense. Why would you distrust that? Maybe they are just shy, or prefer male company. I prefer male company to be honest over other women for the most part i find them more down to earth and less judgemental
This guy: "Why do you find this behaviour a red flag" Also this guy: "Women are not down to earth and are judgemental"
Load More Replies... There's a vast difference between women who don't have any women friends and the woman that says she "just gets along better with the guys". Those women don't want women friends. They want to be the center of attention in the middle of a group of guys. I'm sure there are exceptions, but I'm just talking about the ones that I know.
Forgive me if I'm wrong Louloubelle, but do you mean women who actively reject being friends with other women because they don't want competition around men because, actually, they only really see men as a meal ticket/sex object? I don't think NMN that this is really about you. As I said, forgive me if I've misunderstood, but I don't think you are talking about the same type of person. Fortunately I've only known one person like this and she was a friend of a friend. Married 4 times for money. I don't think women like this are that common.
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Because keeping us in competition with each other stops us from being seen as competition to men. So we arent allowed to make friends with each other.
There are a few reasons. As an aspie, I did not fit in with most girls growing up. Women develop emotionally and socially much earlier than men (technically physically too, puberty starts younger in female biologies) and they were scary for me. I wanted to play football and have fun, not plan my wedding or future life or conversations about relationships. My social skills were also not up to par and I was easily manipulated by people who are far more "grown" than me, basically I was a bit more childish. My interests are also not very "girly". Stereotypes exist for a reason and there are a lot more women interested in make up than in videogames, generally speaking, leading my acquaintance groups always be the nerds and there are far more man nerds than women nerds. That being said, my best friend currently is a woman, precisely because she does not fit into the typical women interests and social practices.
Honestly, for some women, making friends is tough. Especially after you get married and have kids. Your life is just so different from what it was before and alot of your friendships take a different shape. It's been really difficult making and keeping friends since I got married,since my husband and kids are my first priority. I would take that one with a grain of salt when a woman says that, because it may not mean what you think it means. Also, sometimes and it makes me really aggravated to say this, when a woman is beautiful, it's very hard to make friends. Women are competitive creatures. Just look at all the "who's the hottest mom of the pandemic" pissing contests on social media. Bleh. Thankfully, there are quality people out there who don't participate in that garbage, and are truly looking for friends. They're just fewer and farther between than I would like.
Id this was the case the person would have trouble having female and male friends. If that person is solely avoiding women it is nit because she is married.
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I get along better with guys, always have. Not in a flirty sexy way, but literally in a "one of the guys" way. I know and am friendly with women, but my real core group of buddies are all men. I'm not sure why that would make someone think I'm untrustworthy?
Also, being bullied by girls throughout childhood (like i was) makes a person a bit hesitant to become best buds. I've found that most men are just easier to be friends with. You just have to get passed the "we're never going to sleep together" phase. Once they accept that, it's all gravy lol
Strongly disagree. I'm a female mechanic, my exposure almost entirely consists of men. And when I am around woman who could be a potential friend I'm often intimidated, not in a bad way but in a "too shy to make friends way".
I'm one of 6 sisters, within 10 years of age. Middle of the pack. Don't tell me I have to have 'women friends', I've had to deal with bullshit from women all my life. I don't need any more, thank you very much. Edit. just to let people know. This post irritated me so much, I have been reading Bored Panda for over a year, and this one bothers me so much, it pushed me to figure out how to make an account JUST so I could push back against it.
I don't really have that many friends, so this has never happened to me.
I grew up with two older brothers and no sisters; I just find it easier to relate to men.
Honestly. I have never been able to make friends and always related to boys growing up as I was a 'Tom boy'. I was never shown social skills and it's something I still struggle with
Unfortunately a lot of women, not all but a good amount, only see other women as competitors (for men) and not companions for themselves
I'll be honest that I don't have a whole lot of women friends because most I had got married, had kids, and no longer had time for me. I don't know how it works out but most guys I meet at events are single and thus have time to hang and do friend things. A lot of the women have generally had families and tended towards hanging with other couples. It's so strange.
My mother and my sister are my friends but I moved away from where I went to school.. It is hard to make close, best friends as an adult. I wish I had those kind of bonds but I think that those friendships are only forged in high school or college and then simply maintained after those parts of life have ended. Besides, my sister and Mom are enough. I do have friendships with a some women but we don't hang out or anything. I do consider them my friends.
I never had a lot in common with girls and what they liked. I found most girls rude and it was easier to associate with guys.
red flag for me too. I used to be pretty attractive. women would tend to not connect with me, like I was someone who might try to steal their man. I would sometimes ask them a favor. Like for advice on something, or ask where they got their outfit b/c you like it. They'd realize I was just some other girl who is unsure of herself, too, and start to trust me a bit more. Then I'd steal her man. Just kidding! It sucks to play games but sometimes women are so insecure, you have to let them know you are no different than them. Now I am old (and married)and no one worries I'm a man stealer. lol
I find these comments fascinating. There are so many women here who are commenting that they don't get along with other women, because "women do a b c and x y z". So apparently they are not like all the other girls? But then they get offended if men say that they are not like the other girls, or that most womendo a b c and x y z? But these women commenters seem to be lumping other women into the same category and saying very sexist things about them. Ok, ladies, please explain it to this Salty old Woman.
I believe your comment is connecting unrelated dots. The same women who don't have women as friends don't all say that they are offended by men remarking that they are different; in fact, they are probably different, and they and their male friends are fully aware of it. In response to your penultimate sentence, if a person shares an anecdotal reason for their feelings, then is that sexism or is it experience talking?
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I don't like people who straight up say, "I don't care." or "I don't think that's important. let's stay on topic. FYI that topic is me and no-one else."
I always had female friends growing up and in my 20s. Then we moved around a lot for 5-7 years so I wasn't in one place for long enough to develop friendships. It left me gun shy around other women. In addition, once I said "I'm an atheist" outloud, friendships dried up as we live in a little Northwest bible belt southwest of Portland, OR. I did make a friend recently... and she's a pastor. So there ya go. I'd love to have some atheist friends but I've yet to find any here in the 2nd most atheistic state in the Union.
Well there COULD be plenty of explanations to that. Like I don't have many friends irl. I have 5 who have been with me since the beginning. Online same amount. But I have hard time talking to anyone despite their gender. Although talking to any men REALLY puts my anxiety through the roof
Then this doesn't apply to you. If you have an aversion to befriending women but have no problem befriending tons of guys, there would be something deeply wrong with you. Since you have difficulty making friends in general then you're good!
Load More Replies... Probably because they could never empathize with you, and will most likely stab you in the back.
I have very few female friends because I know women are manipulative b*tches.
In my younger days I ignored women as friends because they had nothing I wanted. Long story...
Or find other women totally boring, stupid or man mad with nothing else to talk about?
I don't have any women as friends. Growing up all my female friendship didn't work for a reason or the other, so I stopped trying...
I have to make an extreme effort to talk to them I like women better and am just too scared to mess up our friendship.
Or it's because all my friends left me I swear it's happened more than ten times now
If it's happened 10 times, maby it's time to take a look in the mirrow...
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That's a pretty dim view. I think you'll find a lot of women that don't believe they need men to validate their lives.
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I think the key of the OPs concern is that the men who say she's perfect barely know her... a bit premature to make such an evaluation. Plus those men probably have unrealistic expectations about a relationship with her...
Oh! I have one red flag! People who do not like others JUST because they like different things and judging others by it.
Note: this post originally had 59 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Beware of the Red Flags!
Did you enjoy those funny red flags? Well, we hope you did and also learned a thing or two about blind love. So, next time you notice a red flag, don’t turn a blind eye to it. What are some of the red flags that you have experienced? Don’t forget to let us know in the comments. Also, share this with your friends and steer them away from these red flags!
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
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"If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best".. Whatever happened to learning to controlling your emotions so you don't hurt other people.
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
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"This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
are we being red flags by saying that we don't have flaws and complaining about others tho?
Red flag: a guy going out with a girl and refering to her as "the whore I went out with" when she is nota around anymore :(
Someone who expected an apology even though they know they're wrong.
"You're either for me or against me"...actually, I am capable of having my own opinions and still having a working relationship with you. I am allowed to disagree with you in a respectful way.
Two more: 1. People who never compromise. 2. People who have/had good parents and don't respect them, take advantage of them or aren't grateful for the things or advantages they give them.
I'm really glad that people finally talking about these things, it's not kindness when you try to tolerate the red flags, it's toxic.
When a person refuses to even acknowledge something you are extremely interested in. Personally, I am interested in cars. I can go on and on about cars, and I try my absolute best not to. When something really exciting happens in the car world, I want to tell people I like because I'm excited about it! It is really harmful to stop someone from talking about something they're passionate about/enjoy and then berate what they want to say.
Red flag: Bored panda not blocking the racist who has been plenty of hateful and racist comments and been reported multiple times.
And suddenly everyone is downvoted a few points...ooh whoever could it be XD (I upvoted you one bk)
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Red flag to me is someone's jealousy over how well others are doing professionally,personally etc.
Anyone who HAD to tell me they were Christian was always trouble . . . AND . . . Anyone who wanted to call me something else after I told them my name meant anything I said would be dismissed.
When someone posts hate speech like Amelija Janavicius has, don't downvote it, report it. Like I just did. Pandas don't tolerate hate speech.
Amelija Janavicius is only capable of one comment. All her posts are identical. Poor child; obviously not capable of functioning as a human being.
Mimi: To report; go all the way right on the dark menu bar : more > contact> report post I have reported her as well, I think she is friends with the staff...
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People who don't understand the concept of "Freedom of Speech" in the US and seem to think it means that they can say whatever the hell they want no matter how inflammatory or offensive without suffering consequences. Freedom of Speech means that you can say something without the US government kicking in your door and hauling you away.
Especially against private entities. Your book publisher canceling your contract doesn’t violate your First Amendment rights.
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Bosses who say they want a 'team player'. That can mean they want someone who knows how to keep their head down, toe the line and shut up.
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There was a guy I was texting and I said something with the essence of "you are a nice guy" and he wondered how I could know since we've never met. It was obvious because he always listened and tried to work with my quirks. He never tried to force anything when I said I wasn't ready (this ranged from meeting to kissing) and was extremely conscientious of stuff I liked and stuff that bothered me. He was a good catch, just not mine :)
Growing up not especially having much, I can't stand people who are rough with expensive things, or careless with anything new. This might not make sense to a lot of people, but if I got a new jacket when younger I treasured it. I see people throw their jacket on the floor and not care, and I can't handle stuff like that.
Nothing wrong about having personal standards but it's what they are - context-dependent red flags that apply to particual people or circumstances. I'm not sure they can serve as universal, fit-for-all red flags, because personality consists of more than one (bad) habit or parlance. I would not judge a person's worth without getting the whole context first.
Thank you for this comment! This was what I was looking for in this entire thread. I understand that many of these red flags are true but others originate from bad or painful experiences, and I thought that there was a lack of context in some of the posts.
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Wow, this was very revealing. I don't normally click on these because I'm not in a relationship or planning to be in one soon, but so many of these were things that my mom exhibited. She blamed all of her problems on other people, never said sorry (and if she did she would always include a but), was always cutting me down, and always emphasized how NICE and what a good parent she was. Looking back, I don't think she was the best parent.
My biggest ones are: --Treats waitstaff, cashiers, janitors, sales associates, etc. like crap. --Doesn't like cats or dogs. --Talks more about what they hate than what they like. --Complements themselves, ie: I'm smart/good looking/great at X/etc. --Complains about PC culture and Cancel culture.
Cancel culture IS stupid. However, people who think that ANYTHING to do with others’ rights is “PC” are people who refuse to see the amount of inequality that still exists in the United States. For someone who has been privileged, seeing others achieve equality can feel like oppression. Insecure jerks...
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Today I learned that I apparently hates someone who generalizing plus judging other people after only a minutes knowing them
I see it now... "red flag" is just another word for "stereotype" and "prejudice" but for people who want to look like they are actually the good guy.
These avoid facing the issue directly, namely getting to know or find out what kind of person is this, who am I dealing with, what are they like.
I had to google the 48 laws of power. Wow. What a right wing, sociopathic, nihilistic, narcissistic, and greedy horror. Pretty sure most modern GOP/MAGA types in the USA love that s**t.
A red flag for me is people who categorize others based on their political affiliation without getting to know them as a person.
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It saddens and perplexes me to see people who are totally aware how horrible someone is yet still falls for them and defends them.
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
Load More Replies... "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best".. Whatever happened to learning to controlling your emotions so you don't hurt other people.
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
Load More Replies... "This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
are we being red flags by saying that we don't have flaws and complaining about others tho?
Red flag: a guy going out with a girl and refering to her as "the whore I went out with" when she is nota around anymore :(
Someone who expected an apology even though they know they're wrong.
"You're either for me or against me"...actually, I am capable of having my own opinions and still having a working relationship with you. I am allowed to disagree with you in a respectful way.
Two more: 1. People who never compromise. 2. People who have/had good parents and don't respect them, take advantage of them or aren't grateful for the things or advantages they give them.
I'm really glad that people finally talking about these things, it's not kindness when you try to tolerate the red flags, it's toxic.
When a person refuses to even acknowledge something you are extremely interested in. Personally, I am interested in cars. I can go on and on about cars, and I try my absolute best not to. When something really exciting happens in the car world, I want to tell people I like because I'm excited about it! It is really harmful to stop someone from talking about something they're passionate about/enjoy and then berate what they want to say.
Red flag: Bored panda not blocking the racist who has been plenty of hateful and racist comments and been reported multiple times.
And suddenly everyone is downvoted a few points...ooh whoever could it be XD (I upvoted you one bk)
Load More Replies... Red flag to me is someone's jealousy over how well others are doing professionally,personally etc.
Anyone who HAD to tell me they were Christian was always trouble . . . AND . . . Anyone who wanted to call me something else after I told them my name meant anything I said would be dismissed.
When someone posts hate speech like Amelija Janavicius has, don't downvote it, report it. Like I just did. Pandas don't tolerate hate speech.
Amelija Janavicius is only capable of one comment. All her posts are identical. Poor child; obviously not capable of functioning as a human being.
Mimi: To report; go all the way right on the dark menu bar : more > contact> report post I have reported her as well, I think she is friends with the staff...
Load More Replies... People who don't understand the concept of "Freedom of Speech" in the US and seem to think it means that they can say whatever the hell they want no matter how inflammatory or offensive without suffering consequences. Freedom of Speech means that you can say something without the US government kicking in your door and hauling you away.
Especially against private entities. Your book publisher canceling your contract doesn’t violate your First Amendment rights.
Load More Replies... Bosses who say they want a 'team player'. That can mean they want someone who knows how to keep their head down, toe the line and shut up.
Load More Replies... There was a guy I was texting and I said something with the essence of "you are a nice guy" and he wondered how I could know since we've never met. It was obvious because he always listened and tried to work with my quirks. He never tried to force anything when I said I wasn't ready (this ranged from meeting to kissing) and was extremely conscientious of stuff I liked and stuff that bothered me. He was a good catch, just not mine :)
Growing up not especially having much, I can't stand people who are rough with expensive things, or careless with anything new. This might not make sense to a lot of people, but if I got a new jacket when younger I treasured it. I see people throw their jacket on the floor and not care, and I can't handle stuff like that.
Nothing wrong about having personal standards but it's what they are - context-dependent red flags that apply to particual people or circumstances. I'm not sure they can serve as universal, fit-for-all red flags, because personality consists of more than one (bad) habit or parlance. I would not judge a person's worth without getting the whole context first.
Thank you for this comment! This was what I was looking for in this entire thread. I understand that many of these red flags are true but others originate from bad or painful experiences, and I thought that there was a lack of context in some of the posts.
Load More Replies... Wow, this was very revealing. I don't normally click on these because I'm not in a relationship or planning to be in one soon, but so many of these were things that my mom exhibited. She blamed all of her problems on other people, never said sorry (and if she did she would always include a but), was always cutting me down, and always emphasized how NICE and what a good parent she was. Looking back, I don't think she was the best parent.
My biggest ones are: --Treats waitstaff, cashiers, janitors, sales associates, etc. like crap. --Doesn't like cats or dogs. --Talks more about what they hate than what they like. --Complements themselves, ie: I'm smart/good looking/great at X/etc. --Complains about PC culture and Cancel culture.
Cancel culture IS stupid. However, people who think that ANYTHING to do with others’ rights is “PC” are people who refuse to see the amount of inequality that still exists in the United States. For someone who has been privileged, seeing others achieve equality can feel like oppression. Insecure jerks...
Load More Replies... Today I learned that I apparently hates someone who generalizing plus judging other people after only a minutes knowing them
I see it now... "red flag" is just another word for "stereotype" and "prejudice" but for people who want to look like they are actually the good guy.
These avoid facing the issue directly, namely getting to know or find out what kind of person is this, who am I dealing with, what are they like.
I had to google the 48 laws of power. Wow. What a right wing, sociopathic, nihilistic, narcissistic, and greedy horror. Pretty sure most modern GOP/MAGA types in the USA love that s**t.
A red flag for me is people who categorize others based on their political affiliation without getting to know them as a person.
Load More Replies... It saddens and perplexes me to see people who are totally aware how horrible someone is yet still falls for them and defends them.
