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I think it's safe to say most of us have had our fair share of bad relationships. But when does a bad relationship becomes toxic? The kind that takes a toll on your physical, psychological, spiritual or emotional well-being?

Twitter user Halima has set out to find out just that. Recently, she asked people what 'red flags' they overlooked in their exes and her tweet instantly went viral.

From forcing girlfriends to cut off ties with all of their guy-friends to defending everything but your boyfriend, scroll down to see what to look out for in your next relationship and let us know in the comments if you have something to add to the list.

More info: Twitter

Image credits: imdatfeminist

#1

Toxic-Relationships

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Ripley
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's pretty much the textbook definition of gaslighting. Sounds like you are well out of it.

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Dr. Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert, who says she coined the term 'toxic relationship' in her 1995 book Toxic People, defines it as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect, and a lack of cohesiveness.”

Dr. Kristen Fuller, a California-based family medicine physician specializing in mental health, told TIME that those who regularly undermine or cause harm to their partner often have a reason for their behavior even if it’s subconscious. “Maybe they were in a toxic relationship, either romantically or as a child. Maybe they didn’t have the most supportive, loving upbringing,” Fuller says. “They could have been bullied in school. They could be suffering from an undiagnosed mental health disorder such as depression or anxiety or bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, any form of trauma.”

Either way, being in a toxic relationship with these people might even cause health problems similar to those caused by fast food or other toxic environments. "In fact, unhealthy relationships may contribute to a toxic internal environment that can lead to stress, depression, anxiety, and even medical problems," author and psychologist Dr. Sherrie Bourg Carter wrote for Psychology Today.

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To back up her claim, Dr. Carter highlighted a long-term study that followed more than 10,000 subjects for an average of 12.2 years. Eventually, it was discovered that subjects in negative relationships were at a greater risk for developing heart problems, including a fatal cardiac event, than counterparts whose close relationships were not negative.

As we can see, positive relationships are vital for a healthy, well-balanced life. "Make sure your health-conscious lifestyle doesn't leave out this crucial ingredient," Dr. Carter concluded.

#4

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K1SSFROMAROSE Report

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Biljana Malesevic
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the worst way of destroying someone. It's invisible to others but it tears you apart.

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#5

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Iris Engler
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's true. In a healthy relationship you should be able to count on your partner whatever happens. That way those kind of feelings should not be able to come up. Yeah of course there can be a phase for whatever reason where you feel kind of that but it should never be a constant thing

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#8

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Daria B
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one sounds very embarrassing. It must have gotten you lots of inappropriate and unwanted attention from strangers.

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#10

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Purplish Hat
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh man, this hurts.... so much love for anyone who has been here

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#11

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Kaisu
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why I don't want apologies, they don't do much, I want change. A lot of people apologise because they feel like that's what they should do, but then they continue the same kind of behaviour

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#12

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xxEmmajaynecxx Report

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Kaisu
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't blame yourself for hanging around, it's really hard to leave an abusive relationship, especially when it's emotionally and mentally abusive because then it's easy for you to think you're just overreacting or making things up. And people like these control you and manipulate you and threaten you into staying

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#16

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Iris Engler
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there. They can manipulate in a way that you really start doubting yourself and start thinking about if you are not maybe really the guilty

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#18

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Noemie Houtekie-N'Da
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How could people be so mean. It is very sad to see these sort of things and realize how unfair people are.

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#20

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athornedrose
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this! you should not need a translator to communicate with your partner!

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#21

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soulchologyy Report

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Kaisu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If someone cheats on you, then it's a clear sign they don't really respect you as a person, and continuing a relationship like that can be extremely challenging, especially when the cheater is also emotionally abusive

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#23

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L McN
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah...partners should have each others backs, the only thing worse than realizing that she doesn't have yours is hearing that she did a lot of the attacking.....

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#26

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L McN
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ouch, and the reverse is true here: I could never cheat for many many reasons, but one of them is sort of funny....The first person I would want to tell about the event would be my best friend. Who I am married too....We talk too much almost, and no matter how mad I am she can still get me talking about random things and enjoying the conversation.

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#28

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Lauri foss
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Their words should meet their actions. If not then they are both fake

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#29

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Iris Engler
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is literally no reason to block your partner no matter for how long unless you really clearly finished that relation . Then sometimes this can be the only way to protect yourself

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#31

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Angel
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"If you forgive me you should trust me" argument. These are not the same things....

#32

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EndAllMisogyny Report

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#34

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Damnsheelite Report

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Biljana Malesevic
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate when people abuse my confiding in them with my personal mental health issues. Something I told in deep trust gets thrown in my face with next big fight. "You said you have issues! YOu obviously have them now, because I don't!". So I never trust anyone now.

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#35

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#36

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#37

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lmcn avatar
L McN
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sad to say, I am never in the mood to "talk" either when I know it will be an argument. But she is worth it, so in the mood or not I dive right in. Let's solve the problem together, and as I tell her "We are married, this isn't you vs me, this is US vs the problem."

#38

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lmcn avatar
L McN
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there....took me 6 months to finally escape it....

#39

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Angela-Jayne Linford
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When the little pointless lies got bigger and bigger and the literal punches I took if I called any of them out became daily just because! It took me 5yrs to get out and ended with him holding a knife to my throat...that was my breaking point, I knew if I didnt get out now I was only getting out one way and that was in a box 😥😥😥😥

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#40

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#44

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#45

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HempFairy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would buy him a penis enlarger, put it in a box shaped as a heart and add a card saying : "You know, babe... everybody has to grow a lil bit in life!"

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#46

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Martine Borge
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are NOT dumb! We choose to believe the ones we love even if it doesn't make sense deep down. Sometimes it's scarier to be alone, and that's what abusers count on.

#47

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L McN
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eh, double edged here....no cheating is never right or acceptable. BUT, neither is lying. It appears that he chose to be truthful about it....

#48

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#49

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Kristy P
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By the looks of your profile pic, you found someone much better!

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#50

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#52

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#53

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Dinetk
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And 25 years later still not, eventhough I told him that I would apologise and he never had.

#54

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#55

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#57

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Cocoa Beanz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex said that but if I gained weight. This was when I was on my early 20s and small. He was in his 40s (ugh, I know. What was I thinking?!) with man boobs!!!

#58

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#59

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Cocoa Beanz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a guy ever says you're too gold for him, just run. In my experience, it means that he'll try to bring you to his level. Or that your efforts for him to do better in life will be in vain.

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