Women have heard some pretty ridiculous things about themselves. Ignorance is bliss. However, for every common myth about them, there's an equally popular and equally nonsensical misconception about men.
To find out more, reddit user navisnadakkal asked guys to share the fallacies about themselves that infuriate them the most. And they heard it. The post has received over 73K upvotes and 33K comments, and it should become a must-read for every gossip magazine "journalist" out there.
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'Men can't multitask'
Every time I hear that I have to stop what I am doing so I can get angry
A report called Boys to Men: Media Messages About Masculinity, stated that the most popular stereotypes of male characters are the Joker, the Jock, the Strong Silent Type, the Big Shot and the Action Hero.
The Joker is a very popular character with boys, probably because laughter is part of their own "mask of masculinity." A potential negative consequence of this stereotype is the assumption that boys and men can't be serious or emotional. However, some researchers have also argued that humorous roles can expand the definition of masculinity.
F**k, where to start? I was a stay at home Dad for 2 years. The sheer volume of Karens at parks and playgrounds used to drive me up a wall. They were always dumbfounded when I didn't need their help.
Yes, I can change a diaper. Probably faster than you can.
Yes, I have snacks. Celery, carrots and a little ranch
Yes, I have drinks. Water bottles and juiceboxes
Yes, I have lunch. Chicken cutlet sandwiches. No, we didn't buy them at the deli, I can actually cook.
No, I don't need wine. It's 10AM, Karen. Get a f**kin grip.
The Jock is the one who's always willing to "compromise his own long-term health; he must fight other men when necessary; he must avoid being soft; and he must be aggressive." The jock wins the approval of other men and the adoration of women primarily by demonstrating his power and strength. He's a winner.
The Strong Silent Type is in charge, acts decisively, contains emotion, and succeeds with women. This stereotype reinforces the assumption that men and boys should always be in control, and that talking about one's feelings means showing weakness.
I hate when I hear from someone when I have my kids and my wife is working that I'm "babysitting". It drives me insane. I don't babysit. I'm raising my kids, I'm not a volunteer or a hired hand. Ugh.
The Big Shot is all about the professional status. He is the "epitome of success, embodying the characteristics and acquiring the possessions that society deems valuable." This stereotype suggests that real men are economically powerful and socially successful.
The Action Hero is "strong, but not necessarily silent. He is often angry. Above all, he is aggressive in the extreme and, increasingly over the past several decades, he engages in violent behavior."
I really hate how fruity drinks are associated with women, like damn can I just enjoy my strawberry daiquiri.
It's getting better now, but back in the day basically every guy on TV was a sports-obsessed, car/motorcycle loving, beer swilling moron who couldn't function without his wife to look after him and the kids.
My wife went away last week for work and I'll have you know that only half my kids got eaten by wolves.
My wife is going to earn 1.5-2x as much as me when she's done with her study. So I'm gonna work for 2-3 days and take care of the kids when she's done.
People act like I'm a traitor to the whole Male race and that I'm crazy of being a half stay at home dad.
Maybe I like to stay at home to spend time with my kids?!
Daughter to a single dad here...
There was this myth I discovered when I was young. It's something almost all my female friends were told, but thankfully not me. The myth is the belief that there are such things as "girl business" where only your mom or other older females in the family should help you with.
As the only girl in the house growing up my dad helped me understand and deal with a great many "girl business" problems. Meanwhile all my friends had their moms to handle it for them. When my friends found out my dad was sort of in charge of handling those with me they were shocked. They asked me why I didn't have an aunt or grandma to help instead. Well, my aunts all live at least ten hours away and grandma is even further.
I began to realize over the years that there might actually be negative side effects to this "girls only" way of thinking. Sure, having another female assist you with those issues might be less awkward and embarrassing, but there's already an inherent awkwardness and embarrassment associated with it. Learning to overcome the embarrassment is part of growing up and accepting your body.
Furthermore, I have since grown up and began studying psychology, and done some research into this further for my studies. I'd have to do a more in depth and wide reaching survey and analysis to come to findings I'd be comfortable with being peer reviewed, but I have a theory that the "girls only" mentality causes relationship issues later in life. Young girls grow up thinking that there are some aspects of womanhood men not only don't understand but can't understand. It makes them not only less trusting of male partners, but also keeps them from seeing men as equals when it comes to parenting.
Sure, if you're a mom of a young girl there's no reason for you to not continue helping her with all the complex feminine issues she's going through. Just be careful not to make her think her dad doesn't empathize or understand too. Don't make him this distant third party who will never get it, or someone who should not be involved because he has a penis. That's the same toxic female attitude that causes soccer moms to call the cops on a dad when he takes his daughter to the park to play. Men can parent too, and they're surprisingly good at raising young girls on their own.
That all those rich white guys in Congress are looking out for me because I, too, am a white guy. They don't give any more of a s**t about me than they do about you.
Greedy Old People never look out for anyone else than Greedy Old People.
Showing emotion is a weakness. It isn't. We have just as many emotions as women, and our emotions are just as valid
I am not a male myself but i hope it is ok for me to comment, It really annoys me when people say that men can not be raped because if they got a hard on they must have wanted it. Shit like that causes men to not report rapes and makes them feel shit about themselves. ANYONE can be raped, no matter age, sex or if the rapist is married to them. No means no. It is as simple as that.
This is a common misconception. Just because they are erect does not mean they are enjoying it, it is often a natural response to stimulation whether wanted or not. I know a man who was raped by a woman and when he went to the police they laughed at him. This is going back 30 odd years ago and still effects him to this day. He will not get close to any woman and hasn’t had any kind of relationship since.
We're all unable to control our nature to have sex. Believe me if I couldn't control myself you'd have noticed by now.
No, im not going to a strip club. no, that doesn't mean I'm gay
I never understood the idea of a strip club. For me, it seems a complete waste of time and money. And my time is quite expensive.
'There are plenty of fish in the sea, just get over it.'
F**k you... I liked that fish. Even if it was kinda mean and cruel.
Man who works at daycare are phedophiles Every year there are people who complain I work there
My wife was listening to the Chalene Johnson podcast this morning and she was literally saying never allow males to look after your children as "87% of sexual predators are men". Seemed a bit extreme to hear her basically write off all men as likely sexual offenders of children to be honest.
Get too close to a child and you are automatically branded a pedophile. I work as low tier manager in toy store, and even though I have company t-shirt and name tag. People still ask me if i work there, people still look at me weird when I am going around the store doing whatever. It's sometimes hard to ignore. I just hope people will understand that working at my dream job doesn't mean i want to do stuff to their kids. It hurts sometimes.
Erections mean we want sex. Even as adults, they can still be random.
This is like saying if girls get wet mean they want sex... those is just a biological reflexes that we can't control.
That only women suffer from negative body sterotyping.
Really? REALLY? I grew up in the 80s. Have not seen He-Man? Swartzenegger, Fabio, Jason Momoa...
That if we like children but don’t have children of our own we’re automatically given at the very least a little grilling, if not straight out asked if we’re a pedophile.
I like dogs too, for pretty similar reasons. Nobody ever asks me if I’m a dog fucker.
That we miss signs that women give them because they are stupid. We see them, but we don’t want to be creepy/jump to conclusions.
That we can never NOT be in the mood and if we are we must be sick or cheating.
The whole "Men think about sex every 7 seconds" thing. If you think that's true, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you
But I bet it's not as cheap as the one I have for sale in London.
"All men are the same."
God, I wish. Can't tell you how many times I've been to a stupid event with my girlfriend and she disappears and I'm left hanging out with the other boyfriends and husbands and there's nothing for us to talk about.
I'm not into car shit or sports or any other basic male activities.
All men are not the same.
That we cannot parent as well as a woman. That we need a random woman to come hold a man’s child because they’re crying. That we are “babysitting” when our spouse isn’t with our babies.
The whole s**t with " you are a man" when it comes to pain, lifting, sadness etc.
Men are worse communicators than women.
Really depends on the man, and the woman!
"Now listen, I'm not going to tell you what's bothering me, but if you don't figure it out by yourself very soon you're in trouble,buddy" she tought.
If a woman physically assault a man, he somehow must have done something to deserve it. This gets even worse in those case where male victims of domestic abuse are getting arrested in case the police gets called, even though they are the victims and not the attacker.
That men constantly need to be reminded to do particular jobs around the house, if i say i will do something i will. There is no need to remind me every 6 months.
For women: If I say I'll be ready in 5 minutes, I will. No need to remind me every half an hour :D
When women ask "what are you thinking about?", and you reply with "nothing", we actually are thinking about nothing. Wife never believed me until a family counselor brought it up. Made her realize I wasn't the only one doing it. Or what we're actually thinking about is so trivial and kinda stupid, the second we're interrupted with the question, we immediately forget what it was. That or we just done feel like sharing if we do remember because it is kinda dumb.
The phrase "man up".
Not a myth, but still f**king pisses me off that just because I have a d**k, I'm not allowed to feel bad.
That's a reflection on the society we live in. It's all too common to hear that sadly.
That dads are dopey morons barely capable of caring for themselves, let alone their kids
That's just what commercials are telling by trying to sell products to women. No one believes that c**p really.
That we are not afraid of walking alone through a dark car park at night. After a great deal of asking every one from police, to self defense instructors, to a green beret and a bunch of combat vets, to the most cracked out gun nuts. Not met a single person who had no fear.
Everyone should be aware of their surroundings when out at night. That's basic survival.
All men are creeps. A few arseholes ruin it for the rest of us, and now some poor random guy is getting arrested for pedophilia because he was watching over his kids on the playground.
The other one that bugs me is the assumption that men don't care about their children. People see a guy with his children and are all like 'Oh, Mommy must be busy, are you having fun babysitting?' No, he's spending time with his kids, like any good parent, you fucking arsewipe.
I'm not a man, but one thing that annoys me about men stereotypes is that they can't be friends with girls without wanting a shag. Most of my friends are guys, and none of them have ever tried to get with me. Men can just be friends. It is possible.
I find this topic actually to be complicated. I was friends with a lot of women and to many of them I felt attracted. I never acted out on it and tried to kiss or seduce them, as I respected them as my friends. But when you feel attracted to their looks and you get along well as friends: why not try to make more out of it. And here is the point: I was never in love, or had a crush. it was simply "I find you hot, we get along well, maybe...lets try more?" and at this point I would have totally been fine with "no, I dont feel the same" and after that we could have continued. But what I learned is that many women assume that you are just friends with them BECAUSE you feel attracted and that you are nice to them, because you want to get laid and stuff. I was always honest and giving, without expecting anything more than friendship in return. Still it never worked out after that.
When a guy buys a big truck, sports car, motorcycle, nice boat, or anything else that he's been dreaming about and planning for since he was a child, it's really about his penis and/or a midlife crisis.
I think sometimes big spending can be a mid-life crisis, but I don't immediately jump to the conclusion.
That men have to be brave and strong all the time. I love being the little spoon in bed with my SO. Nothing makes me feel safer and calmer than having her wrap her arms around me and cuddle in.
spooning is so comforting. everyone should be able to be the little spoon
That we're all messy, disorganized, don't clean or do chores well.
All men that play video games are violent and/or anti social.
Can confirm this as an absolute myth! My Husband is a pretty avid gamer (so am I, but thats beside the point) and he's the gentlest, most caring person I have ever met in my life!
That we're all not interested in or incapable of being involved in the planning of our weddings.
I cannot tell you how many comments like "Remember, it's her day, not yours!" I received during the 2-year lead-up to our wedding. I'm not going to lie to you and say I'd been looking forward to getting married since I was 12 or something but I took an active interest together with my wife in the planning of our wedding. "It's not my day, it's hers?" Fuck that. It was our day. We planned it together. Her vision definitely brought it all together and she did a fucking astounding job, but she didn't just make decisions on her own, we talked together about and worked together on every single thing involved in the event; and we were both ecstatic with how it turned out. It turned out beautifully. I try not to toot my own horn very often but I never thought the best party I'd ever go to would end up being my own!
My hubby was happy for me to do all the wedding planning but I wanted the day to be special for him too so I organised our wedding for the time his eldest brother was over from Germany (they hadn’t seen each other in 8 years). I sacrificed not having my mum at my wedding so he could have his brother as best man. And I would do it again. It’s not just about the bride, it’s about the partnership and love.
I'll never understand the very common belief that men can't or refuse to care for children.
32 years ago I had just started dating a divorced guy who had 2 young kids. I invited him to a family picnic. One family member had 3 kids, youngest an infant. She took the older ones to play, left infant with my sis and I. The baby got fussy so I started to get him. This guy was eating and talking to a male friend, he put his food down, still talking, picked baby up,checked diaper then cuddled baby as he went back to eating. It was a smooth and natural act. I married that guy, who got up for feedings, diapers bathing etc.. never had to push him even though he worked full time and I did not. This man is not alone in doing these things. Men are nurturing and loving. Not all, but not all women are either.
The idea that being born a man is like playing a video game on 'easy mode'. Let's just look at the U.S
boys fare worse in education. Boys are less likely to graduate high school, and less likely to attend college. Boys earn lower grades in all subjects at all ages. Discrimination in grading is at play; studies show boys get lower grades for the same work. This was a study from MIT that broke it down and found very clear evidence of direct grading bias.
men consistently have a higher unemployment rate
men are more likely to be homeless
men are more likely to be incarcerated
men are punished more harshly in court for the same crime
men die younger, but have proportionately less healthcare funding.
These things are unlikely to be true for a 'privileged' social class, and certainly doesn't make things easier.
Not a man, but I've seen too many people say something along the lines of "men can't get raped" or "it's not as bad for them as it is for a woman".
This whole “be a man” schtick that leads guys to internalize their problems and marinate in their own issues and neglect their mental health drives me nuts.
It took me a long time to find female friends just so id feel comfortable talking about my depression and get advice on how to get the help I need. If i did not, I would without a doubt be dead right now.
I stamp this thinking out wherever I can find it. It was almost the death of me.
I hate this saying. everyone has feelings and all of them are valid. we should all try harder to respect others feelings even if that's not how we feel
Me having big feet only means that I wear big shoes. And seriously, what makes girls think they can just come up to you and ask about it?
Also a myth that every girl wants a big monster dong. That s**t hurts.
I'm not sure if this applies, but any statement saying something like "all men are..." or "men are so..." as if men are the only ones with those personality traits. People get roped into stereotypes so quickly and it's annoying.
That we are rapists by default, and therefore being a good person is the part that takes effort.
"The only reason men exist is to meet the needs of my family." In the span of 8 months I moved my family to their reservation, Bought a car and truck, restored a trailer, rebuilt the motor to my truck, bought my son a motorcycle, plus met every want my wife and son had. All while working six days a week. After seven months I snapped, my wife said "I had no idea that you felt this tired". In that time I took one weekend off then some prick burned my house down. I going on a full year of not taking personal time because of the rebuild. At one point I was skipping showering for a week at a time because I would just drop without warning. Men have limits too. A family should take care of each other not a single person taking care of the family.
Being taken for granted is awful. Doing all of that on your own is too much. Marriage is a partnership. Having said that, sitting down and talking about it with your wife and son , if you didn't already, is necessary. Not everyone is going to be able to figure out where you are at without communication. I hope things get better for you.
Truthfully, guys don't always want sex. There were times with my ex when she wanted sex and was confused or upset that I didn't want it at that point. Sometimes cuddles are enough.
Not sure if it counts as a 'myth' but most TV portrayals; the guy's a dumbass and depends on his wife for literally everything. It's annoying and played out. I don't know anyone close to my age that lives like that.
i found that stupid too, and I am a woman. I think it's played for laughs but that doesn't make them right.
that men enjoy being raped. Wtf is wrong with people who think that?
Just because I have a dick and you have a vagina doesnt mean I'm trying to get in your pants. I want friends just like anyone else. But when I try to talk to people like my guy friends they assume I'm trying to date them. No. I just like asking my friends how they were because I hate people who only talk to you when they want something. So I talk to everyone as a show of you are my friend, not the services you offer.
So theoretically, you're right. On practical terms, when 9 men on 10 who play friends trick you in unwanted dates, try to have sex (doesn't matter how many times you say no), then caution principles apply. "I just see you as a friend" is the most common lie I heard. I am so sorry for the rest of you. The issue is that it's very difficult to sort you out. It doesn't mean I don't believe men and women can't be friends.
That men are all sex-crazed maniacs deep down.
Sometimes I don't want to have sex. Not in the mood sometimes and I can't just "turn it on" at will.
people have moods, guys and girls. they prefer different activities at different times. does not mean they have to always be ready to do something if they don't feel like it.
I probably don’t want to f**k you. It’s usually a big decision with like some anxiety figuring out if I actually want to sleep with you even if I’m already interested. Although promoting ourselves as captain horndog makes us look cool to other guys so a lot of dudes do that, or they’re desperate.
uhm, something that gets me rather annoyed at school is the whole "girls can't wear leggings because the boys get distracted" mostly because it's assuming that all boys can't control themselves.
Ana J, have you forgotten about when people said this about women when they accidentally showed off their ankles? I can't believe this is still a thing.
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This is a nice post. Not only it shows us an introspective into the world of men and boys, but it also lets us see that we aren't so polarly different after all. Many of these stereotypes apply to all genders and it's interesting to see the other counterparts' perspectives. Stay strong, brothers, this time it's about you.
uhm, something that gets me rather annoyed at school is the whole "girls can't wear leggings because the boys get distracted" mostly because it's assuming that all boys can't control themselves.
Ana J, have you forgotten about when people said this about women when they accidentally showed off their ankles? I can't believe this is still a thing.
Load More Replies... This is a nice post. Not only it shows us an introspective into the world of men and boys, but it also lets us see that we aren't so polarly different after all. Many of these stereotypes apply to all genders and it's interesting to see the other counterparts' perspectives. Stay strong, brothers, this time it's about you.
