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Someone Asks Internet Users To Share Examples Of What Toxic Femininity Looks Like, And Here Are 35 Of The Most Accurate Insights
Interview With Author
Just like anybody can learn to be a wonderful, kind, and caring person, everybody has the potential to be an awful, cruel, and malicious individual. Being a horrible human being who spreads negativity and misery isn’t restricted by gender, age, race, or culture.
However, the internet usually tends to hyper-focus on toxic masculinity, suggesting that it’s mainly only guys who have the potential to be terrible human beings. That’s not the case. This time, we’re shining a light on some honest examples of what toxic femininity looks like, as shared by internet users in this candid and blunt r/AskReddit thread.
When you’re done scrolling through this list and sharing your opinions, Pandas, you should consider reading Bored Panda’s previous articles about toxic femininity here and here. Meanwhile, if you’d like to learn what toxic masculinity looks like, you should take a peek at our articles here and here. And remember, in a world where you can be anything, choose to be kind.
Bored Panda reached out to redditor u/imogen2797 who was kind enough to answer our questions and share her insights about toxic femininity. "I think a lot of toxic femininity is caused by jealousy, the need for a hierarchy and similarly, in a way, to feel empowered by bringing down other women," she told us.
"Toxic femininity refers to behaviors held by women that aim to bring down/harm other women. Examples include telling a woman that she’s a bad mother if she chooses not to breastfeed, bullying other women for wearing too much makeup, being too fat/too skinny, the list goes on." You'll find our full interview with the author of the viral thread below, Pandas.
Bored Panda also got in touch with British psychotherapist Silva Neves who shared his thoughts about toxic behaviors. He stressed that it’s very important to highlight that “people are not toxic as and of themselves.” In other words, it’s the ideas and belief systems that are at fault, not necessarily the people themselves. Read on for his insights as well.
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I hate the whole "oh if you hold a baby you'll want one" or "baby smell is the best" or my least favorite "you're so good with kids, you'll be a great mom!" comments. NOT EVERY WOMAN WANTS TO BE A MOM, NOT EVERY WOMAN EVEN LIKES KIDS! The fact that I'm a decent human being to my friends kids doesn't mean I'll be a good mom. You know what I love? My current lifestyle. I didn't work today and you know what I did? I sat in bed, ate chocolate, watched Ice Cold Killers, and now I'm gonna take a nice long nap at 3 in the afternoon! How in gods name whould a child enhance my life in any way? I'm 26 and the constant barrage of "you're not getting any younger" comments are starting to get under my skin.
Redditor u/imogen2797, who created the thread on r/AskReddit in the first place, told Bored Panda that she personally believes that jealousy and bullying lie at the core of toxic femininity, not manipulation and passive aggression.
"Unfortunately, both toxic femininity and toxic masculinity seem to have their roots deep in our society at this current stage. For someone who is in the firing line of this, I would suggest seeking support from like-minded women, as well as calling out toxic behaviors as they happen," she shared her thoughts on what someone should do if they find themselves a victim of toxic femininity. It's vital to have firm boundaries, as well as the courage to cut toxic people out of your life.
"People can (mostly) choose the people they surround themselves with, and if something isn’t serving you in a positive way, cut it out."
Assuming men are never the victim of physical abuse or intimidation.
Meanwhile, for someone who recently figured out that they are a toxic individual, this sense of recognition is a good start. "I think 99% of women will at some point hold toxic views about other women in some way or another, but it is so important to value body autonomy and the rights that women have to choose what they want to do with their bodies and lives. In a world that is ruled by men, we need to lift up other women instead of tearing them down," the redditor said.
The author of the thread also opened up about the inspiration for the question. "I first heard the term ‘toxic femininity’ when I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a post that read, 'When are we gonna start talking about toxic femininity for a change?' To be honest, at first, I thought it was a cop-out written by men to deflect an issue that faces that community so heavily, back onto women. I posted to Reddit to get opinions on both sides and I realized that toxic femininity is actually a really prevalent issue that women face," she shared with us.
"On the one hand, I’m glad that the post got so much attention because it brings light to an issue that isn’t talked about very much. On the other hand, I did notice a lot of the comments were from men using the term ‘toxic femininity’ as a mask to hate on women and be sexist in general, e.g ‘acting as if men are put on earth to serve women,’ ‘most feminists,’ and ‘forever victimhood,’ ‘wanting the same wages as men but less work,’" the redditor stressed that some people have a very subjective understanding of toxicity and use it to further their own goals.
Girls who hit guys because they know the guy won’t hit them back
“I think it is very important to highlight that people are not toxic as and of themselves. When we describe toxic masculinity, we do not mean that some men are toxic, we mean that the ideas and belief systems that promote strict and unrealistic ideals of masculinity are toxic—the beliefs are, not the men themselves,” psychotherapist Silva told Bored Panda.
“These beliefs may encourage unpleasant behaviors—behaviors can be challenged and changed too, but we don't need to change who they are, just what they believe and how they act upon those beliefs. The same goes for toxic femininity. Being kinder, more tolerant, and more caring involves talking and connecting to a diversity of people, rather than staying in the echo chamber of only interacting with the people sharing the same beliefs.”
The expert pointed out that everyone is flawed, whether they have toxic beliefs or not. “If you are aware that you have some flaws that get in the way of living a good life, you can see a therapist to make sense of it, learn to live with it, be kinder to yourself and also learn to challenge and change some of your thought and behavioral patterns to learn to live with your own integrity and values and not against them,” Silva said that reaching out to a professional for help can be a very important step in growing as a person.
Putting women down for choosing not to have children. As if the only reason we were put on earth was to be baby makers
"Real women have meat on their bones." No. No no. Real women exist regardless of size.
I see a lot of body positive women that s**t on my girlfriend for working out and keeping her body hairless. They always say she should be more loving of her body and embrace her body hair.
It’s annoying. She does it cause SHE likes it. She goes to the gym and does deadlifts cause it empowers her and makes her feel AMAZING. Like, we all have different ideals and visions for our life. And after moisturizing herself and shaving she likes to rub her legs together like a cricket, and nobody should be taking that little slice of heaven from her.
According to Silva, toxic femininity is a rare phenomenon. “On the other hand, toxic masculinity is quite prevalent because our society is embedded in sexism against women and misogyny. Once again, we have an example of that when women have to fight for the human rights of abortion,” he said.
“Heterosexual men do not need to fight for their rights because traditionally they are the ones making the rules—which is the very roots of encouraging toxic masculinity. The only time when toxic femininity might be noticed is on social media on forums when women promote the idea that all men are bad, and to its extreme promoting the movement of 'kill all men'. This is what we call misandry, the hate of men.”
Fake domestic violence or r*pe accusations.
This is why I feel like the phrase "every woman should be believed" should be changed to "every woman should be taken seriously."
Not every woman is truthful, so we can't go in with the mindset of "oh, she's definitely innocent." At the same time, we can't let cases of false accusations prevent us from taking a case seriously because "she may be another liar."
Sadly, people are bound to make decisions on who's innocent and who's not without even watching the trial.
Using the asterisk to replace letters in words like "Rape"'' "suicide"and "murder" is so stupid and useless. Either type out the whole word or just stay away from the subjects.
Fake accusations should be punished. If Jenny accuses Alex of rape, and the investigation finds that Alex is innocent, then Jenny should go to jail. False accusations ruin lives.
If it is proven that she falsely accused him on purpose, yes. Absolutely. If there was not enough evidence to convict him, no. Sometimes we will just never find out who lied…
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but we're all aware those are about 5% of the cases, right?? most victims never report or even try to get justice because very little cases are taken seriously and rarely get justice... why are we giving so much attention to false accusations and so little to so many real ones?
Yes this gets thrown around way too much considering victims are never believed at all. We never talk about how abusers always get away w it even when found guilty. We never talk about how much abusers lie to discredit victims every single time and get away w it. We never talk about how victims are non stop terrorized and called liars even when they have proof w multiple victims coming forward too. We never talk about how victims are portrayed as clout chasers or money hungry even though they never benefit from coming forward. We never talk about how police automatically question the victims integrity and not the abusers. We never talk about how the victims past or current sexual relationships are questioned but not the abusers. We never say well victims are 95-97% telling the truth. We always bring up false accusations though wo fail
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Women are just as capable of lying as men. Women are just as capable of hurting others as men. Apparently 'Hate' is the one thing that demands equality between the sexes.
Every accusation SHOULD be believed AND investigated. Very VERY few accusations are false. Most are true and yet still go nowhere. The ones that are false and become public make all the headlines though and I believe, if proved beyond a reasonable doubt, that deliberately false accusation should carry a very heavy sentence. NB this is not to say that this should happen every time a woman won't testify, withdraws her statement etc. Fear is usually the motivator, either fear of the perpetrator or fear of the process itself..
Well said. This false accusation excuse is dangerous. Men and women are never believed it's very rare for them to be taken seriously and even when it goes to trial only one percent get a conviction. Victims are already made out to be giving false accusation right from the start. Sexual assault investigations need to be about the victim and the evidence they do have not about the evidence they think they don't have.
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The percentage of fake accusations vs non reported rapes is huge. That is the story!
True! 2% of accusations are determined to be false, while 80% of rape go unreported! I hate how some people use fake accusations as a go-to argument to essentially sweep sexual assault under the rug.
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i think false accusations are reason why a lot of victims aren't believed or dont come forward because they feel they wont be taken seriously
The most common reason is simply not being believed victims are never believed even w proof and witnesses. Men and women. False accusations are so uncommon. I didn't Worry about that when I didn't go to the police. I just knew for a fact I would be discredited and belittled and humiliated and retraumatized and called a liar. I was right when I went a few days later. This wasn't even a rape it was a sexual assault
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This is what happened in the DEPP V HEARD case. Shes trying to set a precedent that scares women. If you are truthful you will be believed
I personally know 2 women who search for men to accuse because they are searching for money.
The people that make these fake accusations are the reason that actual victims don't get the justice they deserve. It's so insanely messed up. If you want the attention that bad maybe like... just be a decent person?
Not only that but the idea of believing every woman just because they are women is just another form of bias. We are in effect saying that women can't lie just like the big boys do. We're precious-izing women, which is another way to make women seem somehow weaker. Like they're too fragile and 'female' to know how to lie. I was at a work meeting and at the table were a bunch of women I didn't know from other regions, and I was just listening to them talk and one was talking about how she was going to claim her husband beat her or had a drinking problem in order to get full custody of the kid SOLELY to get more in child support. And the woman she was talking to wasn't appalled at all, she just warned her not to get remarried so she could keep collecting alimony.
So true that mud sticks and false allegations ruin lives, also make real victims suffer in silence for fear of not being believed, I honestly believe people who lie about this should be punished and named and shamed. When she was 15 my sons gf accused her ex of this because he hurt her (ended the relationship) she eventually admitted she lied but the damage was already done.you don't f**k with people's lives to get revenge!!
That must have been awful. Why do you think she accused you? None of my business, just curious
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but, metoo spent years telling us men were all rapists and murderers.. and then women had the f*****g GALL to wonder why men dont date anymore. f*****g lol
'women had the f*****g GALL to wonder why men dont date anymore.'? Uh, OK I don't think anybody has ever thought that, but I'll slide on by that. Nobody is saying that all men are rapists. Metoo isn't about demonizing men. Sexual assault, and harassment are things that are far too common, and rarely brought to light. There are over 400,000 victims of sexual assault each year. Most go unreported to police from reasons ranging from fear of retaliation, felt it was a personal matter, didn't think the police would believe them and/or would/could do anything. That was the case for me when I was raped when I was 17. Why wouldn't I and many survivors of sexual assault have such little faith that justice could be served? Because only something like 3% of rape reported AND actually led to an arrest, resulted in a conviction. Meaning 97% of reported rapists walk free.
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The quote “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Basically expecting a partner to put up with your drama as proof of them actually being into you/making them jump through hoops to prove they’re into you.
The male equivalent is the "only God can judge me" tattoo.....I will immediately judge you if you have that tattoo,especially if it's on your neck...
Toxic women are often called ‘nice girls’ or even ‘Karens.’ They’re often egocentric, arrogant, put others down, and are entitled to the point of looking like Sunday cartoon villains. They firmly believe that the world owes them, and they will manipulate, lie, and cheat their way to whatever goal they have in mind. Everyone else be damned. So, in other words, not all that different from walking paragons of toxic masculinity (aka ‘nice guys’ and ‘Kyles’).
Redditor u/CTFOE_is_Fee, one of the moderators running the r/Nicegirls subreddit about toxic women, explained to Bored Panda during a previous interview why someone is a ‘nice girl.’
"Some of them are too immature to realize what they're doing. Others are that manipulative on purpose. Lastly, some do not even realize what they're doing," they told us.
Telling mothers that they should “suck it up” and deal with postpartum depression without help because women from previous generations were able to raise children without any complaints.
No, Carol. I’m f**king miserable, and there’s nothing shameful about getting the treatment I need to cope with my depression.
Expecting all the affection and love in the world from their boyfriends and never showing a glimpse of it towards them. Men DO have feelings you know?
Saying that mothers who adopt aren't real moms. I'm adopted and I got all the love and support I needed from my mom. She continues to put her all into her kids and grandkids. I'll be damned if anyone says she isn't a real mom because she didn't give birth to me and my siblings.
Someone once said a quote, "Mom is a verb, not a noun" meaning one can nourish and care like a mom but not be one in actuality. I think it's a nice quote.
They shared their opinion on where the line lies between actual, genuine niceness and fake, manipulative ‘niceness’ meant to exploit someone.
"Personally, for me, the line is drawn when you can tell that someone is being passive-aggressive; when you can sense the subdued maliciousness in their words and actions. If your gut is telling you that something is not genuine about the person then they probably are not genuine. I think we've all experienced a few relationships like that in our lives. I do not see there being a large grey area between the two. You know when someone is being kind or not,” moderator u/CTFOE_is_Fee said.
According to Forbes, toxic femininity in the workplace revolves around backstabbing others, failing to support other women in their success, as well as being a “tool of the patriarchy to undermine femininity.”
Toxic femininity is often expressed through passive aggression. “It’s when we allow relationships and productivity to suffer because we’re not being honest about our own objectives, or when we are assuming we know best with a ‘caring’ face. It's being a ‘Karen’ and it's not a step forward from patriarchal systems of control. It might not involve yelling, but it’s still manipulating other people,” Forbes writes, adding that the antidote to this and to toxic masculinity are good leadership skills.
When we are blind supporters of other women. Like, a woman uninvited slapping another woman's ass isn't as bad because it's a woman. Cardi B drugging and robbing dudes isn't bad because men have done that to women for ever. We don't get passes because we've been victims.
Also, women who refuse to accept that men can also be victims of the patriarchy. Sure, it f**ks us all in different ways to different extents, but still.
The whole “mamma bear” knows better than a medical professional about anything to with their children.
The idea that women should be meek and pretty 24/7, and if you are a loud, tomboyish woman, you’re not a real woman.
As a lifelong tomboy, I’ve been put down a lot for not wearing makeup and doing “manly jobs”. I’ve actually got some internalized misogyny as a result. I have a much harder time trusting other women than I have trusting men, because in my experience, it’s mostly other women who accuse me of not being a woman.
And the modern-day variation....If you're into soccer/climbing trees/computers/whatever "boyish" thing you happen to be in to - "are you sure you're not a lesbian?" or, and yes I've genuinely heard this asked of a 14-15 y/o girl once - "are you sure you're not actually a boy?". I'm 100% OK with gay or trans people, really I am, but trying to push someone into it because their hobbies happen to fall in the wrong box is at least as misogynistic as not accepting trans people. Accept that some girls may be...skater girls who like beer and trucks, but still are very much a girl and not a boy, okay?
Placing your entire self-worth on being desirable to men, or assuming any woman who dislikes you must be jealous of your desirability. Not knowing who you are without male attention.
Love yourself alone first. Please don’t expect anyone to complete you. Goes for a partner or a job or a child.
Thinking that being in a romantic relationship/marriage or being able to have children makes you inherently better than women who aren’t.
Defaulting to the female parental figure in all things child-related.
I worked an hour's drive away, my husband worked 15 minutes away. We clearly listed him as the primary emergency contact on all school forms and even noted that he was closest. We told the kid to specifically request they call Dad.
Every time there was an emergency, guess who got called? I would then instruct them to call my husband because my leaving work to take the kid home means they have to deal with an extra hour or so of projectile vomit (or whatever).
We ended up just listing his number as mine.
Stupid!
Using “feminism” as a shield to justify every s**tty thing they do.
ANYONE who tries to hijack the term Feminist/Feminism by equating it with being a b***h/ugly/angry/single/childless can f*** all the way off. Male or female, doesn't matter.
S*itting on stay at home moms or Sex Workers because you don't understand their choices . Feminism means we all get to choose our own path . Not everyone wants a high prowered career and that's Ok.
"No man is ever allowed to hit a woman, in any circumstances."
Uh, hell no. I'm a woman, but I fully expect that if I started punching a guy or trying to k**l him, that he would be well within his rights to give me a slap. Being female doesn't mean you get to start physical fights and face no repercussions.
"If you gave birth through c-section, you're not a real mom."
What. The. F**k? Suddenly 9 months of pregnancy, a terrifying procedure and caring for a newborn doesn't count because MacDuff from his mother's womb was untimely ripped? Whose baby is this then, since apparently no mothers are present?
"all other girls are b*tches"
If you're a girl and think that, that's a you problem
Karens are a prime example. They show peak entitlement found more often in women then men. Everything must be done for them. They are a mother or they're a "struggling" woman who should be given everything she wants.
There's also abusive women. Abusive men will hit you, abusive women will give you several mental and emotional disorders and claim you made it all up while you suffer alone in silence. I know this from personal experience having an abusive biological father and step mother.
If a woman does hit you, you aren't allowed to hit back. If you defend yourself you're the aggressor because... men big?
this is true like im six foot two at fourteen if I get into a fight im the bad guy automatically because im scary
Last week: 3 women admiring my fiancé’s new engagement ring (which is a bit flashy)
My fiancé tells them it’s lab-made, which is what she wanted
One of them responded with “Oh, that doesn’t count then”
I had an ex who laughed and took advantage of me after I cried in front of her. She told me she didn’t see me as a man and that crying is for girls.
The expectation of doing emotional labour. If you fall short of being the default caretaker/nurturer in any way, you are a bad woman. If you don’t put your family’s needs before your own all the time, you might be called a bad mom, a bad wife, or a bad daughter or sister, etc. Meanwhile women who sacrifice themselves completely to take care of others are good mothers, good wives, etc
Similarly, the overly glorified societal idea that a woman’s love is supposed to fix her partner. I read a lot of romance novels and wow is hetero romance content overwhelmingly saturated with the idea that even the most broken person (usually a man in the examples I have personally read) can be healed by the true love of the other person (usually a woman in the examples I have read). There’s no therapy, no focus on healthy ways to deal with trauma, just the idea that some woman can walk into some broken man’s life and completely heal him instantly with “true love”.
Yes it's very common and quite "accepted". But in reality internalized misogyny. You can see it on a structural level as well, like when I was in uni to become a social worker. We had about 90% women in class and most wanted to "help others" as their first priority. Among the men who took the program most wanted to have leadership positions and figured it was a quite easy field to advance in because well... we'll always need social work and it's universal enough to be able to go in different directions. I guess it's the same with nurses for example.
Using your period as an excuse to be physically or emotionally abusive.
Turns out my mom was just a b**ch, not PMS'ing.
Being unable to critize another woman for sh*t she did since "women support each other". Has the exact same energy as frat guys saying "bro code".
Mothers who tell their sons that they are less than equal, based on gender alone.
“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”
“The future is female, not male.”
That type of stuff.
We’re all in this world together and equally capable of greatness and kindness. Please don’t tell your kids otherwise. If you teach someone they’re “less than,” you’re giving them a lifelong hall pass to be a selfish jerk because you don’t need them anyway.
Being all “Claire!! Hiiiii it’s soo good to seee youuuuu oh my goooodddd!!!!” in that obnoxious tone of voice, to every single woman in the group, then turning around and talking the most nasty gossip you can behind their backs or purposely being snaky to the group. This is so toxic, if you don’t like the people you spend time with then drop the mask and stop shoving “positive vibes” down their throats.
Women are expected to be loving, nurturing and kind. If you are less than 100% in each dept it is noticed. Men are expected to be aggressive and to ignore emotions, when they do anything MORE than that it is noticed. The bar is set so high for women that it's easy to look like a harridan..
Girls who start an argument or fight with a stranger and expect their bf/husband/partner to be the one to handle the fall out.
Just generally assuming men are made of emotional rubber and can bounce back from anything,then accusing a man of “male fragility” if they don’t.
When a guy has an really good platonic male friend who he enjoys spending time with , and a woman thinks it’s odd and says “ you two should get it over with and make out/have sex” as if men only become close if sex is involved.
yet if men do that with two female platonic friends they are called a pervert
Believing that its a man's job to impress her when she's dating. If you like someone ACT AS THOUGH YOU LIKE THEM. Dating is an equal exchange of time and emotional labour, if she feels like she needs further financial compensation beyond that (paying for the food/show/whatever it is) then maybe she don't like him enough.
The "I get along with guys better."
I cringe because I used to be like this. Don't discount a whole gender. There's a lot of awesome women out there, find them and befriend them! Not all guys are awesome so why assume all women aren't?
Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
Only a very few of these are genuine examples of toxic femininity. Most of them are internalized misogyny and a whole lot of them are not toxic femininity but toxic culture perpetuated by both men and women.
I agree. Toxic femininity applies to what things are aceptable for a woman in your eyes. So a good example would be "csection is not real birth" or "you cannot be a real woman if you have short hair". Things like "men cannot be abused" are sexist but not toxic femininity. Same as "purses are for women only" or "men dont cry" is toxic masculinity but "women belong to the kitchen" is disgustingly sexist but not TM
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I know some women who push that "men are trash" ideology. They can say something like "Ugh, men just want women to (insert stereotype here)", and if I say, "Well I personally don't feel that way.", the derisive response I get is, "OOOOHHHH, so #NotAllMen, RIGHT?". It's rather reductive, and just teaches me to keep my mouth shut.
ditto. i left an otherwise good online community because i got piled on for calling out someone's bad behaviour. like indisputably directly against the groups policies. i was told that doing so stifled her and women had been stifled throughout history, so it was misogynistic of me. if someone is openly and personally insulting another person, don't you have to call it out?
Load More Replies... Lesbians being told they were supposed to be born male - and believing it. :(
Or just not stereotypically femenine women. As a kid i used to be told by the conservatives "you are not a real woman". Not i am told by the trans community that "I am not a real woman but a trans man in denial" just for not following gender roles. Instead of fighting gender roles they are reinforcing them.
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I have seen so many girls/women act dumb and stupid, bat their lashes, play with their hair, smile fakely just to "reel men in". I cannot stand it. And these are the women who are in "relationships" which end in a year. Then there's the ladies working hard out there on themselves and just because they're not giving men unnecessary attention and laughing in a high pitched tone, men don't want them.
Working in the education field, it is the women who assume all male educators are inferior and/or likely to be child predators. I have known many women who basically bully men out of the school/field.
Genuine question: Is there a point to making a distinction between "toxic masculinity" and "toxic femininity"? Aren't they both just the result of toxic gender roles in general? i don't see the point in arguing over whether one bad behaviour is an example of masculinity, femininity, patriarchy, matriarchy, whatever you want. it's all the same c**p, isn't it? Very happy to listen to different opinions because most people don't seem to want to discuss it.
Well they all steam from gender roles and sexism. But they afect women and men differently thats why people separates them. They are still symptoms of the same problem, sexism.
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Everyone has made up their mind in the Amber vs Johnny case before the judge has
There's no doubt guys cause terrible problems for women. But my daughter seems to be caused more emotional harm by her female "friends". Nice to see these being confronted too. It's not an either/or thing. We can oppose both toxic masculinity and femininity without contradicting ourselves.
Well it is rare in the sense that it most often isn't "toxic femininity" (or "toxic masculinity") but rather a product of internalized misogyny or the patriarchal structure. Just as bad, but if we see the problem from that view we have a chance to see, and do something about, the real problem instead of having some endless battle between genders of who is to blame.
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I hate the toxic trend lately of some women viewing the existence of trans women as an attack on womanhood in general. Feminism is not attacking trans women for not being real women, it's not fighting against making spaces safe for trans people because of a belief that it makes women's spaces less safe, it is not attacking trans professionals because of an archaic definition of what a woman is and belief that their existence in professional roles negates years of progress on women's rights. Expanding the table doesn't devalue the seats which were already there, and gatekeeping womanhood hurts more people than it protects.
Same for the other way around. Claiming that certain acts, feelings or style are inherently feminine and if you like them you are a woman is extremely sexist. We need to delete gender roles but the trans community is reinforcing them.
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It's bashing toxic femininity. If you can't tell the difference, you might wanna look at yourself and the women you know.
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I think this one is missing: Flat out assuming all bad s$%t that happens to you, happens to you because you are female. Not even think 5 seconds about if this happened for a reason otger than that. It prevents them to learn from a mistake, or an honest criticism.
Only a very few of these are genuine examples of toxic femininity. Most of them are internalized misogyny and a whole lot of them are not toxic femininity but toxic culture perpetuated by both men and women.
I agree. Toxic femininity applies to what things are aceptable for a woman in your eyes. So a good example would be "csection is not real birth" or "you cannot be a real woman if you have short hair". Things like "men cannot be abused" are sexist but not toxic femininity. Same as "purses are for women only" or "men dont cry" is toxic masculinity but "women belong to the kitchen" is disgustingly sexist but not TM
Load More Replies... I know some women who push that "men are trash" ideology. They can say something like "Ugh, men just want women to (insert stereotype here)", and if I say, "Well I personally don't feel that way.", the derisive response I get is, "OOOOHHHH, so #NotAllMen, RIGHT?". It's rather reductive, and just teaches me to keep my mouth shut.
ditto. i left an otherwise good online community because i got piled on for calling out someone's bad behaviour. like indisputably directly against the groups policies. i was told that doing so stifled her and women had been stifled throughout history, so it was misogynistic of me. if someone is openly and personally insulting another person, don't you have to call it out?
Load More Replies... Lesbians being told they were supposed to be born male - and believing it. :(
Or just not stereotypically femenine women. As a kid i used to be told by the conservatives "you are not a real woman". Not i am told by the trans community that "I am not a real woman but a trans man in denial" just for not following gender roles. Instead of fighting gender roles they are reinforcing them.
Load More Replies... I have seen so many girls/women act dumb and stupid, bat their lashes, play with their hair, smile fakely just to "reel men in". I cannot stand it. And these are the women who are in "relationships" which end in a year. Then there's the ladies working hard out there on themselves and just because they're not giving men unnecessary attention and laughing in a high pitched tone, men don't want them.
Working in the education field, it is the women who assume all male educators are inferior and/or likely to be child predators. I have known many women who basically bully men out of the school/field.
Genuine question: Is there a point to making a distinction between "toxic masculinity" and "toxic femininity"? Aren't they both just the result of toxic gender roles in general? i don't see the point in arguing over whether one bad behaviour is an example of masculinity, femininity, patriarchy, matriarchy, whatever you want. it's all the same c**p, isn't it? Very happy to listen to different opinions because most people don't seem to want to discuss it.
Well they all steam from gender roles and sexism. But they afect women and men differently thats why people separates them. They are still symptoms of the same problem, sexism.
Load More Replies... Everyone has made up their mind in the Amber vs Johnny case before the judge has
There's no doubt guys cause terrible problems for women. But my daughter seems to be caused more emotional harm by her female "friends". Nice to see these being confronted too. It's not an either/or thing. We can oppose both toxic masculinity and femininity without contradicting ourselves.
Well it is rare in the sense that it most often isn't "toxic femininity" (or "toxic masculinity") but rather a product of internalized misogyny or the patriarchal structure. Just as bad, but if we see the problem from that view we have a chance to see, and do something about, the real problem instead of having some endless battle between genders of who is to blame.
Load More Replies... I hate the toxic trend lately of some women viewing the existence of trans women as an attack on womanhood in general. Feminism is not attacking trans women for not being real women, it's not fighting against making spaces safe for trans people because of a belief that it makes women's spaces less safe, it is not attacking trans professionals because of an archaic definition of what a woman is and belief that their existence in professional roles negates years of progress on women's rights. Expanding the table doesn't devalue the seats which were already there, and gatekeeping womanhood hurts more people than it protects.
Same for the other way around. Claiming that certain acts, feelings or style are inherently feminine and if you like them you are a woman is extremely sexist. We need to delete gender roles but the trans community is reinforcing them.
Load More Replies... It's bashing toxic femininity. If you can't tell the difference, you might wanna look at yourself and the women you know.
Load More Replies... I think this one is missing: Flat out assuming all bad s$%t that happens to you, happens to you because you are female. Not even think 5 seconds about if this happened for a reason otger than that. It prevents them to learn from a mistake, or an honest criticism.
