People Are Sharing Things That Shouldn’t Be Socially Acceptable In 2022, And Some Are Controversial
We all live in a world governed by rules, common sense and socially acceptable norms. The latter ones refer to things that are generally viewed by the members of our society as being appropriate to engage in.
Although societal norms often vary from culture to culture, that doesn’t mean some of the generally accepted things are not to be questioned. With times changing, some of them feel outdated or raise more questions than they have answers.
This illuminating thread asked people to weigh in and list the things that are “socially acceptable but you can’t help but think ‘why?’” Below are some of the most illuminating responses, so scroll down!
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Beauty pageants for children.
I doubt that anyone outside of the US thinks this is anything but creepy
“Being within a community, we are relatively conformist,” Dr Audrey Tang, a chartered psychologist and author of multiple books, including "Be A Great Manager Now," "The Leader's Guide to Mindfulness," and "The Leader's Guide to Resilience” told Bored Panda in an interview.
According to Dr Tang, this is nothing new and much of this collective approach can be traced back to the dawn of civilization. She calls it “a hangover from our past as a collective.” Dr Tang explained: “It was safer for the community to sleep at the same time because it meant that no one was sneaking into your cave to steal your stuff.”
Rich megachurch pastors.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21
Abuse towards men, it’s still laughed at when a man says it happened to him.
Texting while driving doesn’t get enough hate.
they can't walk and text without tripping or hitting a pole, yet think they can drive and text
Moreover, we have a fundamental drive to be part of a group. “We have always been safer together, and inclusion – even if you are near the bottom of the pack – still means you are part of something bigger.”
Dr Tang argues that "social norms" are the cultures, behaviors and expectations which make up society. “They can differ from community to community, but in many ways, adherence allows us to know where we fit within our group.”
She continued: “When we live in a society with others (and this is evident in the animal kingdom), we tend to understand our ‘place’ in the pack through acknowledging ourselves in comparison to others – with the goal being access to resources. In humans, we are fighting less over a perceived scarcity of food and water, but (especially in the social media world) a need for acknowledgment and validation.”
Pockets in female clothing… I am a male. My daughters cannot understand why there is fake pockets in all womenswear.
THIS! This everytime annoyes the fûck out of me! This can literally ruin any shopping experience. So thank god for internet shopping and filter functions. I completely stopped to buy brands/designs that doesn't allow women to have pockets or only provide pixie-pockets that are smaller than the one in a toddler's sweat pants.
Gender reveals.
Man, this is annoying. It's interesting only for you and eventually the grandparents but the joy would be the same also by telling them over the phone, over dinner etc. Seriously, nobody cares.
Dr Tang also claims that building self-esteem has focused on appreciating the self but often in comparison to others “(e.g. I didn’t win… but at least I didn’t come last).” She added that “While in many ways this was more important historically where there was more of a 'fight' for resources, the 'competition' has now moved to social media and 'likes' - and as such this may now also play a huge part in what is acceptable.”
Working while sick.
This expectation needs to stop. Being expected to work while sick doesn't make a good employee, it makes a bad employer. That's saying nothing of how this expectation leads to the rest of the employees getting sick too. There was a reason everyone at my previous job called the place the petri dish, if one person got sick literally everyone else would too because you either worked or went to the unemployment line.
People asking couples when are they going to make baby.
I embarrass them by saying something like "oh so you are thinking of us having sex, hu? You weirdo!" Freaks them out enough to stop talking about it. Then if they get persistent I say I hate kids, even though I really don't.
People listening to loud music on their phone in public transports without headphone.
Dr Tang argues that we often feel fear of judgment because of a tendency to live our life according to a series of ‘shoulds.’Although if you ask anyone, they are likely not to be able to tell you where their rules came from.
“For example, who said that ‘women should be caring and nurturing?’; who said that ‘men shouldn’t cry?’ Who said that we should/shouldn’t be a certain weight/size/shape, etc.” Dr Tang added: “and more importantly, is anyone still saying it?!”
Bullying people for not drinking alcohol in social situations
Assuming a childfree woman in the family will babysit your kid whenever you want to go out.
Unpaid internship for students.
A poor student can't afford the costs that go along with the internship.
Unpaid internships are meant to teach the student but many companies take advantage and make them do work for free. It's actually illegal to have your intern do any work that contributes to the income or business services, that's why they get coffee in many movies and pop culture. People need to know their rights as an intern and report companies that take advantage and have their intern making the company money.
Nonetheless, it is often easier to simply conform. “And there results an unconscious lesson – shout long enough and loud enough and people may go along with you to shut you up.”Moreover, a lot of our beliefs are imposed unconsciously through the stories we watch in the media, in our culture, in our families and in our overall experience, Dr Tang argues.
Those baby/children’s clothes with sayings like “future heartbreaker” or “does this shirt make me look fat?” Why?
I never allowed my kids to dress beyond their years or my daughter in inappropriate clothing. I never understood parents who put their 5 year old daughters in daisy dukes and half shirts. Or any kind of clothing like it.
Asking a women when she is going to marry and why doesn't she have a boyfriend.
Asking a couple when they are going to have kids. There are a lot of couples that can't get pregnant and asking that is like rubbing the wound with salt
When I was single and was asked why I didn't have a boyfriend I told them I had a shower head I didn't need one
“Sometimes, especially when we have so much going on, we don’t have time to stop and think – we don’t always appreciate that some of our beliefs about what we ‘should/shouldn’t’ do are not necessarily healthy.” One thing we can do is ask ourselves, Dr Tang suggests, “How would I feel if I didn’t have that thought (i.e. about the other person judging me)?” and then behave accordingly.
Using speakerphone in public places.
Or having loud (should be private) conversations in public like everyone wants to hear.
I was just waiting at the social security office and EVERYONE in there overheard this woman helping this man, I’m assuming her man?, fill out his paperwork. She was shouting questions like “do you have any mental disabilities?” “Do you take medication?” Lady, no one thinks that’s cool.
Don't assume people are just rude. If I get a call, I have to put it on speaker because I am hard of hearing.
Driving after drinking at all. You are operating a 2-ton murder mobile. Please give the road your full attention.
How we have become so okay with so much consumption just for the sake of it.
Black Friday deals, "sales", new phone upgrades every year. It's all so weird.
Also working for 80000hrs of our lives is pretty weird too.
In 2008, there was an enormous queue of people outside a branch of Walmart for Black Friday. When the security guard unlocked the door to let everyone in, they barged through the doors and he died due to the stampede. People were literally running and stomping on his dead body. That's utter insanity. Such an extreme and scary case of "pack" behaviour.
When we are at odds with others, it is common to feel guilt. “Related to this is our self-esteem – which (unlike self compassion) is developed in comparison to others – if we see we are doing better, we feel better about ourselves.”
Dr Tang explained that “when we hear differing opinions, yes, the opinion itself may make us angry, but it causes us to question our own foundations, and unconsciously, our position in our own world… if someone else is different… could they end up being more 'powerful' (or at least get more access to the resources I want)?”
Saying that your child is going to break so many hearts when they are older or saying to the mother to "save him for me" as a joke.
Just sexualising children in anyway especially when they are far too young to understand and begin to learn that its ok to grab a womans tits because when you did it your parents laughed and encouraged you when you were younger.
Its gross.
Also, a woman can do this and get away with it. If a man does it, he could end up in the back seat of a police car or get beat up by whoever happens to hear him.
Off leash badly trained dogs in public parks where others are trying to enjoy a picnic.
Honking your horn while in traffic. What do you want me to do, drive through the cars blocking the road? These people are morons.
Maybe they think they have a magic horn that when you honk it, it will make the obstacle ahead disappear!
What’s unfortunate, according to Dr Tang, is the common behavior, rather than to show acceptance of difference, to try to negate that of the other. “It is the act of ‘normative idealization’ – what I do is normal, what you do is odd (it makes our own ego feel better); or we might alternatively just be picking on others to avoid thinking about our own problems – and something which makes them 'different' is an easy target.”
Sometimes it means by bringing someone down (rather than working to raise ourselves up), we feel better about ourselves, Dr Tang explained, and don’t need to admit we need to do something about our own insecurities.
Telling a young person that they’ll change their mind eventually when they say they have no interest in ever getting married.
Also telling someone they’ll want kids eventually even if they’re adamant about never having kids.
Case in point, I would very much prefer to have two cats that I can love and pamper and cuddle with than a husband or wife.
I refuse to give birth, I refuse to be pregnant, if it ever happens, I am getting an abortion. If I ever have kids, it’ll be through foster or adoption and it’ll only happen if I become moderately wealthy and can give those kids a good life, if not? My cats will be close enough to kids anyway.
Full grown adults dating barely "legal" teens.
Eh.... It depends on the situation... 48 year old person who has been "waiting" for the teen's 18th birthday, starts RIGHT in on them on that day - because hey, now it's legal! ... still gives me pause. 23 year old dating a 19 year old? Meh. Normal.
Kids having social media accounts
Depends on the social media, are you letting them watch some fun YouTube videos, talk to their friends on discord, or is it Snapchat and Instagram. Not all are blanketly bad, bur most of the image sharing ones are
People smashing other people's face into cake when it's their birthday, or when newly weds are sharing a cake and they smear the cake onto their SO's face in the ceremony. Just, why? Not everyone thinks it's a fun, quirky thing to do, it ruins whatever makeup they're using, and most of the time I see it, the people with cake on their face gets pretty mad over it, and I think they're justified
Untrained 'emotional support' animals. I’m all for service animals, but some people abuse the concept and just make sh*t up.
Touching pregnant people's stomachs.
If I ever become pregnant and some rando decides that they can just start rubbing my stomach without asking then you bet I'm gonna be rubbing their stomach back
Aaaand also... nobody dare to rub your SO's crotch, like "Good job,mate !"
I will say that one woman did try to pat my husband on the crotch when she was saying "you guys don't have kids? You better get to work." To whatever credit I can give her, she was drunk and on god knows what drugs but it was shocking...
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I am overweight and a woman came up to me the other day and rubbed my tummy and asked me when I was due. I told her my 3:00 bowel movement was coming up so 3:00 LOL
And once you gave birth, you think " I'm now free from strangers rubbing my belly !!!" ( Frozen style) and then... You discover the same strangers will touch your newborn, their hands, their cheeks, even try to kiss them. (Big up to the old people doing that in the middle of Covid and being offended when you call them out 🙄)
There was a maternity top I wanted that said if u didn't put it there don't touch it
I laughed aloud at this I will most certainly look for that shirt when I have kids 🤣🤣🤣
Load More Replies... Adults ruffling the hair of kids as a greeting falls into this category as well. I used to really hate that when I was a kid. It's just disrespectful imo.
Some old man patted my head and my mom slapped his hand shouting "DON'T TOUCH HER!" Her reaction made me more upset and embarrassed than the old man and my mom asked if I was upset at her reaction or if it was the old man. I told her both because it was super awkward and I didn't know what to think. I just thought the man was doing what he probably did to all his grandkids. But his "that's a good girl" remark was pretty cringe the more I think about it now.
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My mom said she didn't like people touching her pregnant belly and that was over thirty five years ago.
Exactly. My wife shares her stomach with 1 additional human being, that doesn't suddenly make it public property.
I was working in retail several years ago, and one of my coworkers did this and asked when I was having the baby. I was so embarrassed to tell her that I'm wasn't pregnant, I was just fat. She apologized at least. But just because someone is/might be pregnant doesn't mean they lose their personal space bubble! If anything, it gets bigger! On the plus side (I almost typed 'size' there by accident...), that was one of the things that made me start working to lose weight. But yeah, when I get pregnant, I swear I want a maternity shirt that says "No touchy my tummy! >:("
I even wouldn't dare to ask a strange pregnant woman if I could touch her stomach let alone just come up and touch her stomach. Think that would be creepy.
Someone sat next to me on the bus one time. He seemed concerned about something so I asked if he was okay. He just goes "....Is it mine?" I replied with "This? I believe it's hamburger helper's!" He sighed in relief and then asks if I remembered him. I asked if he mistook me for my sister...turns out he did... I admit...sometimes we do look more alike...for 3 years we were even mistakes for twins...even though there's almost 2 years between us (she's younger) but at that moment we looked nothing alike.
Had a friend who was pregnant, in a store a woman came up to here and grabbed here belly. She reacted by grabbing that womans breasts. Here face was priceless and she will never do this again.
Just randos touching people in general. It just happened to me at work and the guy took it to the next level by rubbing my back.
Yeah, my best friend's mother did that when she arrived at my friend's birthday party (I was highly pregnant with twins). I was too stunned to react, but my friend told her mom on the spot how that is NOT acceptable. That was, like, the third time I saw that woman! I am very glad that my family and my in-laws respect basic boundaries. Seems to be rare nowadays.
This happened to my friend when she was pregnant. Some people really do still see women as property.
Imagine if they're not pregnant. Would you ever just go up to someone and just rub their belly? No. It's the same thing. It's still their belly lol
ALSO asking someone if they are pregnant, are you expecting, or when are you due, or how far along are you... MAYBE It's just a FAT stomach aka "beer belly" !! That makes a person feel horrible!! It's none of ur damn business anyway...
On the flip side if this....I work in a cardiologist office (since 2007) I've had a pregnant patient while I was hooking her up to an ekg machine almost yell "Oh the baby is kicking here feel" and grab my hand and put it on her belly...the bottom of her belly a little close to her privates...I think I kinda went into shock and was a bit dumbfounded for a second before I said oh wow that's amazing...then I finished doing her ekg...I've never carried past 6 weeks (two miscarriages) and I cannot imagine what that feels like on the inside!
When I was 8mo pregnant with my oldest I told an elderly woman it was a tumor and started crying in the baby section of a store
I had a REALLY hard time with this when I was pregnant with my daughter and teaching middle school. Sooooooo many of my students wanted to touch or rub my belly and I am not a touchy person.
I feel like doing this without consent should be sexual assault or Sexual Harassment
I've been asking my daughter-in-law if I can touch her bump and speak to the baby. If I thought she was saying yes reluctantly I wouldn't do it - just speak to the baby from a distance.
Also consider she might be saying yes just to be polite. Personally, this would make me very uncomfortable.
Load More Replies... Not one person ever did that when I was prego and I have never seen this. I honestly thought it was a tv thing. Is this a northern thing?
Being on your phone when having a conversation.
Working 40+ hours a week for someone else for most of your adult life only to maybe get 10 years to enjoy life when you may be too old to enjoy it anymore
Whatever "dream" job we might imagine, it will never be wonderful all of the time. Clearly there are many people in the world without the means or options to choose their work, but there are many who can choose. By making the best choice and making the best of that choice, it is then a matter of attitude and perspective to enjoy the best parts and make it through the worst.
Not wearing a seatbelt. BACKSEAT TOO.
Let me tell you a story.
We had a girl in our house, basically a medical foster placement. Your typical 4-5 yo before her ‘incident’.
Her family was going somewhere together, mom and grandma (I think) and they strapped her into the kid seat. But didn’t strap the kid seat into the seat of the car. Head on collision, and this little girl (+kid seat)is sent *through* the dash board. Can’t walk, talk, feed herself, be a 5 yo. Had a chunk of her skull smashed to bits, repaired, removed again because of an infection, and a plate added.
Ffs people. Wear your damn seatbelts. You become a potential projectile for the other people in the car too. No one is safe.
Going to get crucified for this but getting drunk.
I don't have a problem with drinking alcohol but the way people talk about how drunk they got with immense pride always baffled me.
Also the fact that it's completely legal along with cigarettes when other things aren't is moronic.
This is a culture where I live. If you don't go out every weekend and get drunk, you're seen as socially inept by your colleagues. Personally I'd rather spend a whole bunch of money on something that gives me pleasure and is tangible, rather than something I'm going to pee out or throw up copiously while feeling like death warmed up
Customer entitlement in retail. Returns culture. Posting bad reviews before trying to understand what actually went wrong when it comes to meeting their expectations.
This is mostly, and sadly, an American thing. It's because, for some dumb reason we have encouraged the phrase"the customer is always right". Which has led to entitled a*s customers who can never, ever, be wrong no matter how horrible or wrong they are. It's honestly our own fault.
Being viewed as a failure if you don’t enter into a relationship, get married and/or have kids.
I feel this. Every year of my life, I got straight A's and A+'s with almost no fail, am working on computer programming, never got glued to devices, won a lot of school awards...yet my parents still sorta hate me and threaten to disown me cause I'm NB and never want kids. Did I do that for nothing bruh 😭
Giving up so much private data to companies without the option not to.
I understand how shitty that is but it really is the main reason most of the internet is free. Imagine if you had to pay for every website you visit
Oversharing everything and everywhere your kids or babies are. Like putting full names, tagging their school/frequented play areas, interests, etc. Friends and family ain’t the only people looking at this stuff.
The good way for predators and pedophiles to find out more about your children and possibly abduct them.
Taking pictures of strangers without permission when the context isn’t justified, especially covertly (bonus points if the person does it for the purposes of sharing/posting it). Am I the only one that thinks it is weird and creepy?
It’s even worse when people mention that this is a problem and others then start justifying it. I’ve seen so many comments where people start preaching about “if you’re in a public space you’ll have to accept blah, blah, blah, if you don’t like it stay at home, blah, blah…” Why on earth would you defend something like this?
grabbing people’s wheelchairs and pushing them without being asked or asking consent. pushing people around is rude as f**k and bullying behaviour, but if someone is on wheels suddenly it’s fine? no. don’t touch the chair
Strangers touching all over babies. Pinching cheeks, picking them up and kissing them. I’ve had people come up to me at a store and open up her car seat cover to see her. And I’ve had people that know my mom (strangers to me) come up and kiss her and pinch her cheeks and pass her around when she was just a little infant. None of them cleaning their hands either. I enjoy seeing people that I know holding and loving on my child but at least ask especially if you are a stranger.
Plus the constant need to overstimulate them. Had this at work, colleague brings in her new baby who is lying in its pram, totally calm and just peacefully looking around, enjoying being chill, when another colleague comes along and has to start tickling and groping the baby, making loads of silly noises and daft exaggerated faces. Why??? The poor mite was just totally happy and chill and now they’re all wound up and have been needlessly disturbed from their rest.
Family YouTube channels, honestly they start really sweet and all but it progressively gets worse when money gets involved.
You can make them do pretty much what you want if you post enough comments!
Note: this post originally had 48 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Can I ask, just how many more variants of this question and similar question does Board Panda intend to host, why not get out there and discover interesting new things for us, or wonderful art?
This is for Americans...having to drain your bank account to pay for medications so you can stay alive. Insulin costing $600 a month...Chemo treatments that can have you owing half a million or more before you're done. All because pharma companies know people are willing to pay anything to stay alive. It's wrong and immoral.
YESS! I'm only 18 and take several medications, all of which adds up to BIG- and SUPPOSEDLY i have the BEST insurance in America!! 😭
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I don't think the question was fully understood by many of the responders. More than half of these are not socially accepted. Bored Panda is getting quite boring
I've got one: Street preachers who holler through bullhorns at the general public about how they're going to Hell while ignoring the needy all around them. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Shaming parents and guardians, especially moms, telling strangers, "No, don't touch my child", or, "Get away from us." I know society is getting better, but stop judging, looking down, or commenting how a parent is over reacting over nothing. It's not nothing, it's called a boundary.
"Socially acceptable" varies widely within a single culture, let alone across them, so let's just stop with the idea that there's any One Right Way beyond "do unto others as you'd be done unto".
Believing your opinion is worth so much more than someone else's. P.S. Not knowing the difference between opinion and fact.
Absolutely! If you like the look of fur then go for synthetic!
Load More Replies... Car alarms should not be legal. They are nuisance and don't deter as intended. Not to mention provably bad for everyone's mental health.
Everyone's so used to them crying wolf every time the wind blows the wrong way that we don't react to them at all, except maybe by rolling our eyes.
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Also how come no mention of: Letting your child decide their gender when they aren't even old enough to know what it really means. If your child hasn't hit puberty then don't let them decide what gender they are.
How did "wearing your pants so low that we can see your underwear" not make the cut? Is it because it would be viewed as stereotyping?
Politicians being corrupt without repercussions, excessive taxation, super-rich getting outrageous tax breaks and misuse of tax money
Lots of these are just things people do or say for conversation. Like the "when are you going to have a baby" or "when are you guys going to get married" this is all just conversation starters. I don't see anything wrong with either of those questions. If you don't want kids or don't plan on getting married then that's how you answer those questions. Why not just post on here: And can we please stop talking to each other, just because we know each other and are friends/family doesn't make it ok to talk to me.
Can I ask, just how many more variants of this question and similar question does Board Panda intend to host, why not get out there and discover interesting new things for us, or wonderful art?
This is for Americans...having to drain your bank account to pay for medications so you can stay alive. Insulin costing $600 a month...Chemo treatments that can have you owing half a million or more before you're done. All because pharma companies know people are willing to pay anything to stay alive. It's wrong and immoral.
YESS! I'm only 18 and take several medications, all of which adds up to BIG- and SUPPOSEDLY i have the BEST insurance in America!! 😭
Load More Replies... I don't think the question was fully understood by many of the responders. More than half of these are not socially accepted. Bored Panda is getting quite boring
I've got one: Street preachers who holler through bullhorns at the general public about how they're going to Hell while ignoring the needy all around them. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Shaming parents and guardians, especially moms, telling strangers, "No, don't touch my child", or, "Get away from us." I know society is getting better, but stop judging, looking down, or commenting how a parent is over reacting over nothing. It's not nothing, it's called a boundary.
"Socially acceptable" varies widely within a single culture, let alone across them, so let's just stop with the idea that there's any One Right Way beyond "do unto others as you'd be done unto".
Believing your opinion is worth so much more than someone else's. P.S. Not knowing the difference between opinion and fact.
Absolutely! If you like the look of fur then go for synthetic!
Load More Replies... Car alarms should not be legal. They are nuisance and don't deter as intended. Not to mention provably bad for everyone's mental health.
Everyone's so used to them crying wolf every time the wind blows the wrong way that we don't react to them at all, except maybe by rolling our eyes.
Load More Replies... Also how come no mention of: Letting your child decide their gender when they aren't even old enough to know what it really means. If your child hasn't hit puberty then don't let them decide what gender they are.
How did "wearing your pants so low that we can see your underwear" not make the cut? Is it because it would be viewed as stereotyping?
Politicians being corrupt without repercussions, excessive taxation, super-rich getting outrageous tax breaks and misuse of tax money
Lots of these are just things people do or say for conversation. Like the "when are you going to have a baby" or "when are you guys going to get married" this is all just conversation starters. I don't see anything wrong with either of those questions. If you don't want kids or don't plan on getting married then that's how you answer those questions. Why not just post on here: And can we please stop talking to each other, just because we know each other and are friends/family doesn't make it ok to talk to me.
