People Are Sharing Things That Shouldn’t Be Socially Acceptable In 2022, And Some Are Controversial
We all live in a world governed by rules, common sense and socially acceptable norms. The latter ones refer to things that are generally viewed by the members of our society as being appropriate to engage in.
Although societal norms often vary from culture to culture, that doesn’t mean some of the generally accepted things are not to be questioned. With times changing, some of them feel outdated or raise more questions than they have answers.
This illuminating thread asked people to weigh in and list the things that are “socially acceptable but you can’t help but think ‘why?’” Below are some of the most illuminating responses, so scroll down!
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Beauty pageants for children.
I doubt that anyone outside of the US thinks this is anything but creepy
“Being within a community, we are relatively conformist,” Dr Audrey Tang, a chartered psychologist and author of multiple books, including "Be A Great Manager Now," "The Leader's Guide to Mindfulness," and "The Leader's Guide to Resilience” told Bored Panda in an interview.
According to Dr Tang, this is nothing new and much of this collective approach can be traced back to the dawn of civilization. She calls it “a hangover from our past as a collective.” Dr Tang explained: “It was safer for the community to sleep at the same time because it meant that no one was sneaking into your cave to steal your stuff.”
Rich megachurch pastors.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21
Abuse towards men, it’s still laughed at when a man says it happened to him.
Texting while driving doesn’t get enough hate.
they can't walk and text without tripping or hitting a pole, yet think they can drive and text
Moreover, we have a fundamental drive to be part of a group. “We have always been safer together, and inclusion – even if you are near the bottom of the pack – still means you are part of something bigger.”
Dr Tang argues that "social norms" are the cultures, behaviors and expectations which make up society. “They can differ from community to community, but in many ways, adherence allows us to know where we fit within our group.”
She continued: “When we live in a society with others (and this is evident in the animal kingdom), we tend to understand our ‘place’ in the pack through acknowledging ourselves in comparison to others – with the goal being access to resources. In humans, we are fighting less over a perceived scarcity of food and water, but (especially in the social media world) a need for acknowledgment and validation.”
Pockets in female clothing… I am a male. My daughters cannot understand why there is fake pockets in all womenswear.
THIS! This everytime annoyes the fûck out of me! This can literally ruin any shopping experience. So thank god for internet shopping and filter functions. I completely stopped to buy brands/designs that doesn't allow women to have pockets or only provide pixie-pockets that are smaller than the one in a toddler's sweat pants.
Gender reveals.
Man, this is annoying. It's interesting only for you and eventually the grandparents but the joy would be the same also by telling them over the phone, over dinner etc. Seriously, nobody cares.
Dr Tang also claims that building self-esteem has focused on appreciating the self but often in comparison to others “(e.g. I didn’t win… but at least I didn’t come last).” She added that “While in many ways this was more important historically where there was more of a 'fight' for resources, the 'competition' has now moved to social media and 'likes' - and as such this may now also play a huge part in what is acceptable.”
Working while sick.
This expectation needs to stop. Being expected to work while sick doesn't make a good employee, it makes a bad employer. That's saying nothing of how this expectation leads to the rest of the employees getting sick too. There was a reason everyone at my previous job called the place the petri dish, if one person got sick literally everyone else would too because you either worked or went to the unemployment line.
People asking couples when are they going to make baby.
I embarrass them by saying something like "oh so you are thinking of us having sex, hu? You weirdo!" Freaks them out enough to stop talking about it. Then if they get persistent I say I hate kids, even though I really don't.
You can also try saying that you are trying but you cannot conceive. Extra points if you can cry on demand.
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100% i am now totally upfront and say i would love too but 5 miscarriages and 16 ivf transfers it is not going to happen for us.... that usually shuts them up
Same here. Not as many tries as you, but after 9 miscarriages I had a full hysterectomy. It is not possible anymore. I usually say: oh, you are offering yourself as a surrogate to carry our baby for us for free and at your own expense?
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There are a lot of potentially awkward personal questions out there. When are you going to get a girlfriend/boyfriend? When are you getting married? Are you thinking about buying a house and settling down? Etc. etc.
Never stops as well. Now I'm past child bearing age I get asked 'why didn't I have children?'.
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In my community this was considered rude, because it's basically like asking them "When are you guys gonna f*ck?"
My best friend, while married, survived 6 miscarriages. During that time, they, as a couple were often asked, when older, 'Do you have any children?' and my friend, angered by this time, replied 'None that lived.' That shut up the room, usually.
I would add asking when someone is going to have another child after having one. I have one child, that’s enough for me! In his first few years of life everyone would ask “when are you having another one? He needs a brother or sister!” I was like no, never, get lost.
I remember when my already ex FIL asked at a family dinner why me and my ex-wife still don't have any children (after 4 years of marriage). I replied: "I have no idea, I f*ck your daughter regularly..."
Maybe they can't have kids? Maybe they were abused as a child and don't want the cycle of abuse to continue? Or they just don't want kids? You don't know what's happening in their life. Don't ask questions like this.
Yes!!! My grandmother would always ask when I was going to meet a girl and have babies. In my head it would translate to my actual grandmother is asking when I'm going to meet a girl and f*ck her. Wth. This was 30 years ago... Today I'd be able to answer... Well grandma, I met the GUY and we've been trying for that baby every single day... Sometimes twice.
I gave the church ladies the good ole “oh haven’t you heard? We had one and sold it on the black market, they go for sooo much money.” Never had an issue after that. (Sarcasm)
My favorite response was that the only sound of "pitter-patter" you'll ever hear in my house is from a new Harley idling in the garage that I bought with the money I save from not having kids. My mom used to get so pissed at me !!!!
This. My husband and i tried three years, i went to several doctors appointments, had a miscarriage and cried lots of tears before I finally got pregnant with our little girl. One of my friends had FIVE miscarriages, lots of appointments and tests, and lots of tears and frustration before they finally had a pregnancy that was successful. Another friend and her husband had to deal with a still-birth. People have no business saying this because they have no idea what that couple might be going through, and how much pain that stupid question could cause.
Also, people asking when you're going to get married, get a BF/GF, etc. Butt out of other people's private lives. If they want to share with you, they will.
It's even worse I'm in my early 40's my youngest is 16 years old. I have people/friends all the time come up having there first at the same age asking wife and I if we are going to have more kids all the time! I have gotten to the point I tell them heck NO! If you started a 1 million mile race and had two miles left would you want to go back to the first mile? No! It's nice being older having money kids that can take care of themselves so wife and I can go on trip and cruises. Having kids young also military and law enforcement did not allow me to do these things I can do now.
My family does this to me all the time, I'm single. What do they want me to do, kidnap one? 🤦
I fell pregnant naturally first time, we tried for another but due to past trauma complications it didn't happen. 8 years later we were lucky enough to be able to afford IVF, I got depressed as the first 3 cycles failed, I honestly got sick of people telling me to be grateful I had one already. I was grateful but it was my choice and right to want/have a second. I did eventually succeed with twin boys on my 4th cycle but sadly I lost one of my boys at 23 weeks, because of my gestation size I got sick of people commenting "oh you're huge, you must have a huge baby".
To me it's really nobody business. Especially if it just a acquiantance. Probably be rude but should tell then it's none of their business.
It's isn't just for couples though. I was at a baby shower held after the little one had been born and while holding her was asked when I'm having one of my own. I gave the same answer as ever....all my children have four feet and fur and that's not changing. Made me very glad I got to leave early to head back to work since I was just on lunch.
this is so insensitive. Maybe they can't, or maybe they don't want to! Just shut up about it!
I have never wanted children. When my friends started breeding, and sending baby announcement cards, I countered with kitty announcement cards whenever I got a new cat.
This is a very personal question that should only be discussed between the married couple
Or asking people when are you going to get married, why are you single?, I am so glad I'm older now and finally people stop asking
You would think being gay would absolve you of this but no I still have family members coming up to me saying "you know adoption/artificial insemination is a thing right?" Like yeah I know but I still don't want any f***ing kids...
Yeah....I was 14 the first time my parents asked me when I was planning to start saving for a baby... Like...wut? I was working cleaning apartments for my grandpa's neighbors at 8 bucks a job at that time... For 3 people a month... Yeah. Kuz 24 a month is worth anything... And I had only been dating for 1 week at that time... Relationsh*t ended after 3 weeks... Idiot was a total tool!
This and I would like to extend it by adding not to ask when their baby is in the NICU. How can I be thinking about having another when my first is still not home with me!
My son and his wife mentioned adopting, and I told them a baby is a baby and a child is a child, I would still be Nana and love it to bits. But they surprised me with a grand-dog-er. She is a beautiful puppy. Still Nana!!!!!😁
I have friends that have been married 29 years and have no kids, I think their family has FINALLY stopped asking them. 😉
Juts say "We're practicing a lot so we're ready when that time comes."
Pushing the idea that the child isn't yours if the child wasn't born by me so can't have a baby I understand that sucks but maybe cuz you meant to adopt one and it's not like we don't have a shortage of kids that need adopting.
People listening to loud music on their phone in public transports without headphone.
Dr Tang argues that we often feel fear of judgment because of a tendency to live our life according to a series of ‘shoulds.’Although if you ask anyone, they are likely not to be able to tell you where their rules came from.
“For example, who said that ‘women should be caring and nurturing?’; who said that ‘men shouldn’t cry?’ Who said that we should/shouldn’t be a certain weight/size/shape, etc.” Dr Tang added: “and more importantly, is anyone still saying it?!”
Bullying people for not drinking alcohol in social situations
Assuming a childfree woman in the family will babysit your kid whenever you want to go out.
Unpaid internship for students.
A poor student can't afford the costs that go along with the internship.
Unpaid internships are meant to teach the student but many companies take advantage and make them do work for free. It's actually illegal to have your intern do any work that contributes to the income or business services, that's why they get coffee in many movies and pop culture. People need to know their rights as an intern and report companies that take advantage and have their intern making the company money.
Nonetheless, it is often easier to simply conform. “And there results an unconscious lesson – shout long enough and loud enough and people may go along with you to shut you up.”Moreover, a lot of our beliefs are imposed unconsciously through the stories we watch in the media, in our culture, in our families and in our overall experience, Dr Tang argues.
Those baby/children’s clothes with sayings like “future heartbreaker” or “does this shirt make me look fat?” Why?
I never allowed my kids to dress beyond their years or my daughter in inappropriate clothing. I never understood parents who put their 5 year old daughters in daisy dukes and half shirts. Or any kind of clothing like it.
Asking a women when she is going to marry and why doesn't she have a boyfriend.
Asking a couple when they are going to have kids. There are a lot of couples that can't get pregnant and asking that is like rubbing the wound with salt
When I was single and was asked why I didn't have a boyfriend I told them I had a shower head I didn't need one
“Sometimes, especially when we have so much going on, we don’t have time to stop and think – we don’t always appreciate that some of our beliefs about what we ‘should/shouldn’t’ do are not necessarily healthy.” One thing we can do is ask ourselves, Dr Tang suggests, “How would I feel if I didn’t have that thought (i.e. about the other person judging me)?” and then behave accordingly.
Using speakerphone in public places.
Or having loud (should be private) conversations in public like everyone wants to hear.
I was just waiting at the social security office and EVERYONE in there overheard this woman helping this man, I’m assuming her man?, fill out his paperwork. She was shouting questions like “do you have any mental disabilities?” “Do you take medication?” Lady, no one thinks that’s cool.
Don't assume people are just rude. If I get a call, I have to put it on speaker because I am hard of hearing.
Driving after drinking at all. You are operating a 2-ton murder mobile. Please give the road your full attention.
How we have become so okay with so much consumption just for the sake of it.
Black Friday deals, "sales", new phone upgrades every year. It's all so weird.
Also working for 80000hrs of our lives is pretty weird too.
In 2008, there was an enormous queue of people outside a branch of Walmart for Black Friday. When the security guard unlocked the door to let everyone in, they barged through the doors and he died due to the stampede. People were literally running and stomping on his dead body. That's utter insanity. Such an extreme and scary case of "pack" behaviour.
When we are at odds with others, it is common to feel guilt. “Related to this is our self-esteem – which (unlike self compassion) is developed in comparison to others – if we see we are doing better, we feel better about ourselves.”
Dr Tang explained that “when we hear differing opinions, yes, the opinion itself may make us angry, but it causes us to question our own foundations, and unconsciously, our position in our own world… if someone else is different… could they end up being more 'powerful' (or at least get more access to the resources I want)?”
Saying that your child is going to break so many hearts when they are older or saying to the mother to "save him for me" as a joke.
Just sexualising children in anyway especially when they are far too young to understand and begin to learn that its ok to grab a womans tits because when you did it your parents laughed and encouraged you when you were younger.
Its gross.
Also, a woman can do this and get away with it. If a man does it, he could end up in the back seat of a police car or get beat up by whoever happens to hear him.
Off leash badly trained dogs in public parks where others are trying to enjoy a picnic.
Honking your horn while in traffic. What do you want me to do, drive through the cars blocking the road? These people are morons.
Maybe they think they have a magic horn that when you honk it, it will make the obstacle ahead disappear!
What’s unfortunate, according to Dr Tang, is the common behavior, rather than to show acceptance of difference, to try to negate that of the other. “It is the act of ‘normative idealization’ – what I do is normal, what you do is odd (it makes our own ego feel better); or we might alternatively just be picking on others to avoid thinking about our own problems – and something which makes them 'different' is an easy target.”
Sometimes it means by bringing someone down (rather than working to raise ourselves up), we feel better about ourselves, Dr Tang explained, and don’t need to admit we need to do something about our own insecurities.
Telling a young person that they’ll change their mind eventually when they say they have no interest in ever getting married.
Also telling someone they’ll want kids eventually even if they’re adamant about never having kids.
Case in point, I would very much prefer to have two cats that I can love and pamper and cuddle with than a husband or wife.
I refuse to give birth, I refuse to be pregnant, if it ever happens, I am getting an abortion. If I ever have kids, it’ll be through foster or adoption and it’ll only happen if I become moderately wealthy and can give those kids a good life, if not? My cats will be close enough to kids anyway.
Full grown adults dating barely "legal" teens.
Eh.... It depends on the situation... 48 year old person who has been "waiting" for the teen's 18th birthday, starts RIGHT in on them on that day - because hey, now it's legal! ... still gives me pause. 23 year old dating a 19 year old? Meh. Normal.
Kids having social media accounts
Depends on the social media, are you letting them watch some fun YouTube videos, talk to their friends on discord, or is it Snapchat and Instagram. Not all are blanketly bad, bur most of the image sharing ones are
People smashing other people's face into cake when it's their birthday, or when newly weds are sharing a cake and they smear the cake onto their SO's face in the ceremony. Just, why? Not everyone thinks it's a fun, quirky thing to do, it ruins whatever makeup they're using, and most of the time I see it, the people with cake on their face gets pretty mad over it, and I think they're justified
Untrained 'emotional support' animals. I’m all for service animals, but some people abuse the concept and just make sh*t up.
Touching pregnant people's stomachs.
If I ever become pregnant and some rando decides that they can just start rubbing my stomach without asking then you bet I'm gonna be rubbing their stomach back
Aaaand also... nobody dare to rub your SO's crotch, like "Good job,mate !"
Being on your phone when having a conversation.
Working 40+ hours a week for someone else for most of your adult life only to maybe get 10 years to enjoy life when you may be too old to enjoy it anymore
Whatever "dream" job we might imagine, it will never be wonderful all of the time. Clearly there are many people in the world without the means or options to choose their work, but there are many who can choose. By making the best choice and making the best of that choice, it is then a matter of attitude and perspective to enjoy the best parts and make it through the worst.
Not wearing a seatbelt. BACKSEAT TOO.
Let me tell you a story.
We had a girl in our house, basically a medical foster placement. Your typical 4-5 yo before her ‘incident’.
Her family was going somewhere together, mom and grandma (I think) and they strapped her into the kid seat. But didn’t strap the kid seat into the seat of the car. Head on collision, and this little girl (+kid seat)is sent *through* the dash board. Can’t walk, talk, feed herself, be a 5 yo. Had a chunk of her skull smashed to bits, repaired, removed again because of an infection, and a plate added.
Ffs people. Wear your damn seatbelts. You become a potential projectile for the other people in the car too. No one is safe.
Going to get crucified for this but getting drunk.
I don't have a problem with drinking alcohol but the way people talk about how drunk they got with immense pride always baffled me.
Also the fact that it's completely legal along with cigarettes when other things aren't is moronic.
This is a culture where I live. If you don't go out every weekend and get drunk, you're seen as socially inept by your colleagues. Personally I'd rather spend a whole bunch of money on something that gives me pleasure and is tangible, rather than something I'm going to pee out or throw up copiously while feeling like death warmed up
Customer entitlement in retail. Returns culture. Posting bad reviews before trying to understand what actually went wrong when it comes to meeting their expectations.
This is mostly, and sadly, an American thing. It's because, for some dumb reason we have encouraged the phrase"the customer is always right". Which has led to entitled a*s customers who can never, ever, be wrong no matter how horrible or wrong they are. It's honestly our own fault.
Being viewed as a failure if you don’t enter into a relationship, get married and/or have kids.
I feel this. Every year of my life, I got straight A's and A+'s with almost no fail, am working on computer programming, never got glued to devices, won a lot of school awards...yet my parents still sorta hate me and threaten to disown me cause I'm NB and never want kids. Did I do that for nothing bruh 😭
Giving up so much private data to companies without the option not to.
I understand how shitty that is but it really is the main reason most of the internet is free. Imagine if you had to pay for every website you visit
Oversharing everything and everywhere your kids or babies are. Like putting full names, tagging their school/frequented play areas, interests, etc. Friends and family ain’t the only people looking at this stuff.
The good way for predators and pedophiles to find out more about your children and possibly abduct them.
Taking pictures of strangers without permission when the context isn’t justified, especially covertly (bonus points if the person does it for the purposes of sharing/posting it). Am I the only one that thinks it is weird and creepy?
It’s even worse when people mention that this is a problem and others then start justifying it. I’ve seen so many comments where people start preaching about “if you’re in a public space you’ll have to accept blah, blah, blah, if you don’t like it stay at home, blah, blah…” Why on earth would you defend something like this?
grabbing people’s wheelchairs and pushing them without being asked or asking consent. pushing people around is rude as f**k and bullying behaviour, but if someone is on wheels suddenly it’s fine? no. don’t touch the chair
Strangers touching all over babies. Pinching cheeks, picking them up and kissing them. I’ve had people come up to me at a store and open up her car seat cover to see her. And I’ve had people that know my mom (strangers to me) come up and kiss her and pinch her cheeks and pass her around when she was just a little infant. None of them cleaning their hands either. I enjoy seeing people that I know holding and loving on my child but at least ask especially if you are a stranger.
Plus the constant need to overstimulate them. Had this at work, colleague brings in her new baby who is lying in its pram, totally calm and just peacefully looking around, enjoying being chill, when another colleague comes along and has to start tickling and groping the baby, making loads of silly noises and daft exaggerated faces. Why??? The poor mite was just totally happy and chill and now they’re all wound up and have been needlessly disturbed from their rest.
Family YouTube channels, honestly they start really sweet and all but it progressively gets worse when money gets involved.
You can make them do pretty much what you want if you post enough comments!
Note: this post originally had 48 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Can I ask, just how many more variants of this question and similar question does Board Panda intend to host, why not get out there and discover interesting new things for us, or wonderful art?
This is for Americans...having to drain your bank account to pay for medications so you can stay alive. Insulin costing $600 a month...Chemo treatments that can have you owing half a million or more before you're done. All because pharma companies know people are willing to pay anything to stay alive. It's wrong and immoral.
YESS! I'm only 18 and take several medications, all of which adds up to BIG- and SUPPOSEDLY i have the BEST insurance in America!! 😭
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I don't think the question was fully understood by many of the responders. More than half of these are not socially accepted. Bored Panda is getting quite boring
I've got one: Street preachers who holler through bullhorns at the general public about how they're going to Hell while ignoring the needy all around them. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Shaming parents and guardians, especially moms, telling strangers, "No, don't touch my child", or, "Get away from us." I know society is getting better, but stop judging, looking down, or commenting how a parent is over reacting over nothing. It's not nothing, it's called a boundary.
"Socially acceptable" varies widely within a single culture, let alone across them, so let's just stop with the idea that there's any One Right Way beyond "do unto others as you'd be done unto".
Believing your opinion is worth so much more than someone else's. P.S. Not knowing the difference between opinion and fact.
Absolutely! If you like the look of fur then go for synthetic!
Load More Replies... Car alarms should not be legal. They are nuisance and don't deter as intended. Not to mention provably bad for everyone's mental health.
Everyone's so used to them crying wolf every time the wind blows the wrong way that we don't react to them at all, except maybe by rolling our eyes.
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Also how come no mention of: Letting your child decide their gender when they aren't even old enough to know what it really means. If your child hasn't hit puberty then don't let them decide what gender they are.
How did "wearing your pants so low that we can see your underwear" not make the cut? Is it because it would be viewed as stereotyping?
Politicians being corrupt without repercussions, excessive taxation, super-rich getting outrageous tax breaks and misuse of tax money
Lots of these are just things people do or say for conversation. Like the "when are you going to have a baby" or "when are you guys going to get married" this is all just conversation starters. I don't see anything wrong with either of those questions. If you don't want kids or don't plan on getting married then that's how you answer those questions. Why not just post on here: And can we please stop talking to each other, just because we know each other and are friends/family doesn't make it ok to talk to me.
Can I ask, just how many more variants of this question and similar question does Board Panda intend to host, why not get out there and discover interesting new things for us, or wonderful art?
This is for Americans...having to drain your bank account to pay for medications so you can stay alive. Insulin costing $600 a month...Chemo treatments that can have you owing half a million or more before you're done. All because pharma companies know people are willing to pay anything to stay alive. It's wrong and immoral.
YESS! I'm only 18 and take several medications, all of which adds up to BIG- and SUPPOSEDLY i have the BEST insurance in America!! 😭
Load More Replies... I don't think the question was fully understood by many of the responders. More than half of these are not socially accepted. Bored Panda is getting quite boring
I've got one: Street preachers who holler through bullhorns at the general public about how they're going to Hell while ignoring the needy all around them. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Shaming parents and guardians, especially moms, telling strangers, "No, don't touch my child", or, "Get away from us." I know society is getting better, but stop judging, looking down, or commenting how a parent is over reacting over nothing. It's not nothing, it's called a boundary.
"Socially acceptable" varies widely within a single culture, let alone across them, so let's just stop with the idea that there's any One Right Way beyond "do unto others as you'd be done unto".
Believing your opinion is worth so much more than someone else's. P.S. Not knowing the difference between opinion and fact.
Absolutely! If you like the look of fur then go for synthetic!
Load More Replies... Car alarms should not be legal. They are nuisance and don't deter as intended. Not to mention provably bad for everyone's mental health.
Everyone's so used to them crying wolf every time the wind blows the wrong way that we don't react to them at all, except maybe by rolling our eyes.
Load More Replies... Also how come no mention of: Letting your child decide their gender when they aren't even old enough to know what it really means. If your child hasn't hit puberty then don't let them decide what gender they are.
How did "wearing your pants so low that we can see your underwear" not make the cut? Is it because it would be viewed as stereotyping?
Politicians being corrupt without repercussions, excessive taxation, super-rich getting outrageous tax breaks and misuse of tax money
Lots of these are just things people do or say for conversation. Like the "when are you going to have a baby" or "when are you guys going to get married" this is all just conversation starters. I don't see anything wrong with either of those questions. If you don't want kids or don't plan on getting married then that's how you answer those questions. Why not just post on here: And can we please stop talking to each other, just because we know each other and are friends/family doesn't make it ok to talk to me.
