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People Reveal What Things Are Socially Acceptable Only If You’re Hot, And It Might Surprise You
The genetic lottery happens very early in life, but its prizes (or the lack of) are evident during most of our days on Earth. The consequences of this natural process we have no control of, unfortunately, often leads to double standards, favoring the pretty and hurting the ugly people.
Reddit user OrbitalDickHead (I know, I know) has posted a question on the platform, asking "What is socially accepted when you are beautiful but not accepted when you are ugly?" and it went viral, accumulating over 38K upvotes.
Bored Panda has collected some of the most popular answers about social acceptance to highlight that not everyone can get away with staring at a stranger or going on about how inner beauty is more important than its outer counterpart. For example, if your read-headed, pot-bellied and slightly balding colleague that you usually don't talk to would stop to chat with you, would you feel delighted or later tweet about meeting creepy people? Now the opposite - if the guy were tall, dark, and handsome, your feelings would probably change too.
Scroll down to read the stories about ugly ducklings below. Hopefully, while reading it, you won't find the signs you are unattractive yourself.
This post may include affiliate links.
Being quiet/introverted.
If you're attractive, then you're "cute" or "sweet" or "reserved".
If you're ugly, then you're "awkward" or "creepy" or "have no life".
My sister and I call ourselves "Princess Diary" pretty, because we have frizzy curly hair, but when straightened, we clean up nice... We tried an experiment for two weeks: Week 1- wear sweats, no hair straightening, no makeup... Week 2- wear cute outfits, straighten hair, do makeup, wear perfume. I wish we had filmed because the difference in the way we were treated was insane (by men and women). Week 1- People would let doors slam in my face, treated me meanly, and didn't notice me. Week 2- Everyone smiled at me, held doors, called me "honey", got invited out with co-workers, I even had my coffee/donut paid for. Anyone who says that looks don't matter, is living in a fantasy world.
I wouldn't trust anyone that treated you badly at first, and then being nice to you the second week.
Literally just existing and talking to people. There's a guy at work named Sean. Sean is unfortunate looking. He's a redhead, he's balding, yet his sides and back are pretty long, he doesn't cut his nose hairs, he's constantly red/pink, pot bellied, and yeah he kind of lingers around your desk and talks a bit too much.
Problem is, we all kind of do that... you know... overstaying your cubicle visit or whatever. Everyone at work thinks he's creepy. They all think he'll shoot up the place or maybe will eventually be banned from entering a school zone. TBH, Sean is a sweet, nice dude. He's your nerdy, 40-year old virgin type of dude. He's got a lot of friends, from what I can tell on Facebook, and practically zero work friends. He plays on different softball and bowling teams, goes out to bars with his friends, and from what I can tell, seems perfectly normal.
I talk to him every so often and he's a really nice guy. I visited his desk and he said I was the first person to visit him (he started here maybe 6 months ago...) It's very unfortunate for him that people think of him this way. I know for a fact that if he was skinnier, had hair, and wasn't ugly that people wouldn't think he's creepy at all.
I had a friend like that at school. Her name was Selena, she had greasy hair, strange glasses and was a very skinny girl. Everyone hated her. I went to talk to her one day and found out that she was an awesome person. She was fun to talk to and we had lots of things in common. We became best friends. Never judge a person by their looks. You can never know what lies beneath the surface, I had no idea.
I'm not seeing this listed so I'll go ahead and say it: sexual assault.
When someone who's attractive goes way too far, it's frequently taken as a compliment, laughed off, or just not spoken of again, and if you take issue with it and tell someone, they're a hell of a lot less likely to believe you and/or try to talk you out of it/convince you it wasn't as bad as you're making it seem.
If an ugly person grabs your crotch or your boob, or smacks your ass in a bar, or doesn't take no for an answer, it's sexual assault and nobody questions you and everyone immediately rallies around you and agrees the person is bad.
I once had an outrageously hot girlfriend who didn't stop when I said to. We were in the drivers seat of a car and I was pinned between my seat and the steering wheel on top of me, and I wasn't wearing a condom. I was shoving at her and yelling, but I had no room to move my legs at all and had basically no physical leverage in that position. So she held me down and got what she wanted. I hated it.
Yes, female-on-male rape is a real thing.
I told her she raped me and she laughed in my face. Meanwhile I'm over here like "I don't know if I just got this crazy bitch pregnant, also how the fuck did she just remove my personal agency."
It was horrible and confusing and disorienting, because it's hard for men to really process the idea that it can happen to us too.
When I started telling people, at least 3/4 of them didn't believe me or blatantly didn't take me seriously in any way at all. Several simply changed the subject. The consensus was "You're whining because your hot girlfriend let you cum in her, how stupid are you?"
But if I'd told people a fat, homely friend of mine held me down and raped me, they'd have believed me with little question.
I can't even imagine how it must be for women who get assaulted by very attractive men.
And people wonder why most victims don't report shit, and people wonder how Cosby admitted in a deposition that he gave women quaaludes and then fucked them but somehow got a mistrial. We live in a society where if the aggressor is hot or rich, nobody wants to believe you and the system isn't set up to support you.
edit: poster # 12. I hope you can talk to someone about this. ..if not yet. Try the emergency phone lines ( listed in the front of the phone book - in Australia LifeLine 13 11 14 ) You don't have to answer questions, and you CAN ask them questions. perhaps about a support group or therapist in your area. It might take a few phone calls, until you find the person that is comfortable for you to talk to. It is worth it. Hoping things are going better for you now.
Going on about how inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. If you're attractive and say this you're humble and empowering, but if you're ugly and say it, you're just seen as whining.
I know! When you're ugly and say this, people think you are trying to 'excuse' yourself for being ugly.
Weirdly, being polite to the opposite sex. I'm generally a very polite and friendly person. When I was fat men would constantly go out of their way to make sure I knew they had no interest even though I hadn't given any hint at being interested and was already in a relationship. Now that I've lost weight everyone's a LOT nicer.
I had this happen to me a lot at my old job, I got asked out all the time and when I said I was married they asked why I was flirting? as if saying hello and smiling were an invitation, not just basic courtesy. on the other hand, the inmates (worked in a jail) would always tell me I was the only one who was nice to them. now I'm chunkier and work with nearly zero men, so no longer have this issue.
Eating a lot. Skinny/ pretty girl eats an entire pizza? Oh how cute! She can eat anything she wants and shes still skinny! Adorable!
Fat/unattractive or average person even eats a whole pizza? Just sad.
I'm overweight and if I'm eating junk food , people are like "try to eat healthy at least now" And if I eat anything remotely healthy "oh you're dieting now ? Don't worry , you can't become thin " I'm so tired of these a******s .
Being weird. People will tolerate a great deal of weirdness, strangeness and psycho behaviour from an attractive person, whereas these traits would be unforgivable in an ugly person.
There was a social experiment conducted where a catfish profile of a beautiful blonde was created. When guys talked to her the catfishers responded with the most weird, bizzarre, off-the-wall, creepy answers but guys still kept pursuing. People will tolerate a lot of weirdness if it comes alongside hotness.
HANDSOME + DADBOD vs UGLY + BEER BELLY
Making a lot of eye contact or smiling at a stranger.
Having fantasies or fetishes. If you are ugly, having fantasies is seeing as creepy and dirty. If yo are handsome, it's kinky and exciting.
About 10 years ago, I was asked to come in for an interview for selling Bose speakers at one of their B2B outlets. It was an entirely professional deal, and the HR guy on the phone could not stress enough how important knowledge about sound systems was. So I go in and only one other guy shows up. We assume they need more people, so we both fancy our chances. only thing is this guy has no idea how speakers work, no idea what or who Bose is, and displayed a generally carefree attitude. At least he was wearing a shirt and not a polo with his jeans and sneakers.
I get called first, and my interview went on for over 30 minutes, getting grilled about all things imaginable and then some more. I was pretty confident about the material ('coz I knew that stuff!) and I thought it went really well. So I come out and this guy is shitting bricks because he did not realize this was a "serious job interview." We had built up some rapport while waiting, so when he asked me if I could wait for him for some moral support (we were headed back to the same area too), I said okay.
His interview lasted 5 minutes. He walked out with an offer letter. All they asked him was his name and his background. I was politely asked to reapply after 12 months.
This guy was equally confused. He was not a scumbag, in fact, he was a really nice guy. But even when you are selling high end conference room sound systems to people who have no time to even listen to your pitch, Bose wanted good looks over skills. Did I mention this guy looked like a cross between Christopher Reeve and Elvis Presley?
This super hot girl farted once in my high school class. People thought it was hilarious and some of the football players hugged her and thought it was awesome. Later that year in English Class an overweight girl let a ripper go and was mocked and ridiculed and was told she was disgusting.
Letting yourself go a little.
What I mean is - a beautiful man can let his hair get shaggy, go a week or two without shaving and bum around in jeans & a T-shirt. He's so rugged, look how carefree he is! An ugly man does the same thing, and he needs to put himself together, no wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend.
A beautiful woman decides to bum around the house in sweats with virtually no makeup and her hair tied back because she's in no mood to actually put in the effort to do it up today (after all, she's just hanging out at home with the cat this afternoon). She's a low-maintenance, natural beauty. An ugly woman does the same thing and she's a frumpy, lonely cat lady.
Yes. I remember when I was younger, being obsessed with my weight because a couple guys had told me I had a "great body but an ugly face" and I thought....OMG my body is all I have! (And your brain, younger Wanda, and your brain. Sigh.)
Conversation/small talk I guess. This just happened recently to a friend:
Matched a girl on tinder who looked very attractive from her photos. They had hour long phone conversations and day long texting conversations. Went to go meet her for the first time and he felt "catfished" apparently she was much larger than the pictures led on. I told him you gotta expect that a bit but he says it was a crazy amount like he felt tricked. Anyway, after knowing she was not very attractive, he said she was awful at conversations, very boring, asking the same repetitive questions to not let a conversation die. Looking back on his old texts, she was always awful at conversation (him too tbf) but he was never 'bored' when he thought it was a really hot girl asking about his day at work or his college program etc.
I am sure more good looking people get away with shit personalities.
As a woman who loves video games, I spend a lot of time gaming and streaming. Before I gained weight viewers as a whole were a lot more friendly and willing to watch my stream, now I have a health condition and I look pretty rough, I get virtually no views now.
Being the 'strong, silent type' only works if you are handsome. People don't want to explore if there is any depth to you if you're not aesthetically pleasing.
Bothering people who are reading. After years of sitting in coffee shops reading, I realized I was curt with anyone who tried to engage me in conversation, unless they were an attractive girl.
Wearing more revealing clothes.
Unfortunately this is very true. I wish everyone would cover their mess up. Leave something to the imagination.
To give a somewhat serious answer, boasting of your prowess.
People are psychologically more inclined to believe someone good looking is skillfull at whatever they're claiming to good at, despite no evidence. In fact there's something called the 'halo effect' that says along with beauty come all sorts of other positive characteristics. We have a tendency to think beautiful people are funnier, more friendly, more intelligent, more exciting, in possession of better social skills, are sexually warmer, are more interesting, poised and even more independent.
Looking up someone's personal information so you can find them again. When you're ugly, you're stalking them. When you're hot, your being romantic. i.e. in Hitch, Will Smith tracks down where Eva Mendes worked and then sent a delivery guy there with to give her a wet suit in her exact measurements. He was being romantic... you would not be considered romantic.
Pretty much anything. I am an "occasionally" attractive man. I say this because I've been on both sides of the fence when it comes to getting preferential treatment... and feeling invisible. I grew up oblivious to my good fortune in the looks department. I was just me and didn't take myself too too seriously. I kept hearing from girls and (presumably) gay men that I was cute, hot, attractive, good-looking, etc. I was completely oblivious to this, I just thought I was a regular old guy with some good features and plenty of flaws. I seriously had no idea that everyone else didn't get treated the way I did. Girls my age would look at me at the mall and smile, clothing store employees (male and female) would compliment my eyes, women would approach me and chat me up on the street... a limo full of hot girls would say hi, and tell me the bar they were going to, etc, etc. It sounds like bragging, but I'm just trying to describe what my teens and early 20s were like. Now, fast forward 8 years and I'm 30 lbs overweight and a caricature of my former self. I feel invisible, as, people no longer want to meet me, or show me as much respect. I hit the gym hard and get fit again. I regain some semblance of my "old" life and get my mojo back. People are nicer to me again, hmm.
-- You're allowed to have problems if you're ugly, if you're beautiful people will be like "yeaaaaah riiiiiiight your life must be soooo haaaard"
-- if you're pretty but socially awkward/quiet people assume you're stuck up and won't talk to you (multiply by 100 if you have resting bitch face), but if you're ugly and awkward/quiet you're just awkward/quiet
-- basically impossible to have guy friends if you're a pretty girl, they'll all eventually admit they just were hoping to fuck you and now that they realize you won't, they're out, doesn't matter how long you were "friends," not so for ugly girls
This has got some true to it. If there's any good thing about being ugly is that you know for sure that anyone who likes you genuinely likes you, even if it's just 1 or 2 people.
Being a criminal sometimes!
I remember when that 'beautiful convict' guy was floating around the internet for a while.
Yeah, there were studies about that. Beaing ugly expose you to more severe punishment. It seems that in the collective unconscious your faceshould show your sins...
Realistically, men being friendly with women.
Hot guy, at the office:
-Hey Janice. You look great today.
-Thanks!
Ugly guy at the office:
-Hey Janice. You look great today.
Cold stare * followed by sexual harassment complaint made to HR.
Oh my gosh! This is actually very common but it still irks me whenever this happens
Being socially forward. Interrupting people while talking, hitting on people, giving unsolicited advice, etc. Being attractive gives you an automatic +4 to charisma.
Yup. If you're attractive, people will call you v"friendly" or a social butterfly," but if you're ugly, you're seen as annoying
The biggest example I experience while I was in high school was the attractive popular guy is class could be a misogynist and he's just being "silly and joking around" but the un-attractive guy could say the same exact sexist comment to the same group of girls and they'll accuse him of being a misogynist bigot that will never get a relationship with those kind of comments.
Sexism is sexism. It's unacceptable no matter who is being a sexist. You don't get to be selective in who you think is sexist. Cause that's not cool.
Narcissism/shallowness.
There's a ton of vitriol directed at unattractive women who spend a lot of time on their appearance. "Putting makeup on a pig". Unless you're naturally attractive, there's this idea that you shouldn't even bother trying to look nice because 'who do you think you're fooling, you'll always be ugly so just accept in your ugliness'. You see it a lot directed at heavy women on this site. Because other people don't find you attractive, people feel like you don't deserve to feel or find yourself attractive.
Meanwhile hot girls can spent an inordinate amount of time on their appearance and documenting their appearance with very little pushback. People like looking at them, so its ok they like looking at themselves so much too.
Just being nice in general lol. When I was in high school there was this guy named James and EVERYONE always blasted him for his appearance, how annoying/creepy he was, etc. I tried to be nice to him but I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed his presence. One day in class I was talking about how I felt insecure that day and he said "Don't feel that way!! You're beautiful!" And I said thank you but everyone else around us laughed. A more attractive guy in the same class called a friend of mine beautiful and everyone says "awww! So sweet!!! You guys should date!!!!" I dunno what happened to James after high school but I hope he's doing well. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment.
There was a guy in my class who never spoke ... Like never ... And whenever I tried to speak , he just shied away ...I remembered him when I read this . hope he's okay .
Saying you're ugly. If you're actually ugly you just end up making everyone uncomfortable. If you're beautiful people tend to fall all over themselves trying to reassure you that you're beautiful.
Nah, I don't like the second type of person. Just like the one that always have good grades complaining that he/she had failed an exam but will have, oh surprise, another good grade
I'm a recruiter so I can speak from experience when saying that if you're young and good looking you will have a much better chance at getting the job- regardless of experience.
"Oh my gosh I eat so much! I ate like an entire bag of chips!" Is funny but when you are actually fat it's like" yeah no duh loser".
Not having a job, my ugly friend without a job is constantly abused by anyone he tells about his unemployment and labelled as lazy and worthless. People just ask me what kind of crazy experimental phase I'm going through and are incredibly interested in "what's next".
I guess that might happen if you're, like, 16. I don't think people will refer to your unemployment as "crazy experimental phase" when you're 30 years old. Just sayin
Mistakes. I transitioned from male to female, and people are way more lenient with a hot girl than they are with an average dude.
Transitioned the other way round so I completely approve of that. Cute girls have it so much easier than cute guys lol
I used to play raquetball and then go to the sauna with this older black guy, and one time we were talking about sexual harassment. He leans over and goes: "Son, sexual harassment just when ugly people try to get some."
Doing things that are a little gross (like burping in public)... If you're good looking people think it's cute and funny, if your not than its gross and unmannered.
To me, burping in public is disgusting in general if you do it loudly enough. It's not cute or funny whether you're the sexiest person on the planet or not even close
Actually, I think this depends on your level of attractiveness. If you are "too attractive" people will be intimidated (esp the same sex) and will say you are snobby, stuck up, or rude.
Yes and being too attractive also has a slight "they've only got that job BECAUSE they are hot (slept with someone)" thing to it
This may get eye rolls but as a pretty attractive guy there are also downsides. Not to sound arrogant but since I know it and also happen to be a pretty sensitive person, a lot of social interactions with people are always on the awkward side. Both men and women are constantly avoiding eye contact or try to pretend like you aren't there since they don't want to come across as either interested or too "close". It's incredibly frustrating and I'm not self important at all but my personality also doesn't seem to matter to people at all. I'm just the "attractive guy". Men, being the testosterone filled competitive people they are are constantly trying to one up you or be comparitive with you. Women tend to act only shy or flirty and if you strike up a conversation with them they either immediately slip in "my boyfriend" somewhere in the conversation because you're automatically "hitting on them". People are often very scared of you and it often times drive you crazy.
I don't mean to sound narcissistic at all, but I know I'm attractive and I often feel depressed since if I act confident or happy I feel the judging eyes of being "the self important douche" and if I'm quite or reserved I become "the asshole".
So... I was losing weight (coming down from 200 lbs). and i wore shorts to work. they reached my finger tips just like our dress code said.. but you know, i jiggled more than someone that was more fit. needless to say within 5 minutes of being a work i was told i have to change. next day i see another (more fit) girl wear similar shorts.. no one said a thing.
Being outgoing and having confidence.
I'm considered an ugly woman and I find that I get through life better when I'm invisible. If I just keep my head down and keep to myself, no one will notice me. I get the most negative reactions when I do try to "better" myself.
You know I saw this male model he had gone public with his like tinder matches... Dude would literally just tell the girls he wants to have sex with them and they would go 'Omg your so hot, okay, here's my number'.
So yeah if your really attractive you can just flat out ask people for sex and they will probably say okay.
I read another one about a guy (using a hot pic) that told women he wanted to find a girl to keep him from liking kids. I don't know if it was a fake or if it wasn't how many women turned him down or made a report. But if it's not a fake, I'm alarmed by the fact he had positive answers.
Being a bookworm, and also being short.
If a pretty girl loves Harry Potter and has her nose in a book 24/7, she's "so cute" and "marches to the beat of her own drum."
Now, if a more unattractive person loves something like Lord of The Rings and will make the occasional remark related to it, she's "a geek," "has no life," and "weird."
And being short? This is coming from my own experience, mind you....
A pretty girl who's short is "quaint" and "petite" and "pretty little thing."
Someone like me who's short and not so attractive is laughed at when she can't reach things, yelled things at like "HAHAHA YOU'RE A HOBBIT! HAHAHAA!" and "Havin' trouble, shorty?"
My friend is always beating herself down about her height. I always tell her that she isn’t that short and that I’m just freakishly tall (which I am) but she doesn’t listen. Then I made up this quote. : height doesn’t matter. Unless you need something from the top shelf and that’s why we invented ladders. And if all the ladders are broken I’ll always pick you up and carry you. (Also, in a fight you’ll be a lot better at immobilising the enemy)
I haven’t seen it here yet but here goes Mental Illnesses. (Actual incident I’ve been a part of)
So as far as looks go you could say I’ve not been super lucky. My sister on the other hand is gorgeous and well endowed for her age.
Not too long ago her and I were enjoying coffee at the local coffee shop and we struck up a conversation about mental illness. We share many of the same diagnoses (depression, anxiety, bipolar etc.) and some jock overheard her end and were all like ‘omg you poor thing. I wish I could take all your pain away’ when we continued our convo ignoring him, I started explaining what my most recent issue was and I kid you not he looked over and said ‘since the hot one has issues all of a sudden the pig does too’ my sister being the feisty young woman she is turned around and called him every name in the book. So yeah. If you’re good looking, of course people will feel sympathy over your mental illness. If you’re ugly good f***ing luck.
Seriously? A stranger actually called you a PIG. Who are these people?!! I mean really, if he was so hot for your sister, that is NOT something you say about so-called hot girl's FRIEND.
Posted this before but apparently cheating. Know a girl that's very very attractive. She was cheating on her boyfriend...
Her one friend wholly supported it. Said "Sometimes someone better comes along."
My friends seemed to think it was no big deal either.. one said "At the end of the day the most anyone can say about cheating is that it's wrong."
My wife seemed to want to give the girl the benefit of the doubt... said "We can't consider her the bad guy here. We don't know her whole story. Maybe her current boyfriend is abusive."
Doing things and/or saying stuff.
Winking seductively, I would say. I do agree with others though - just about everything is socially unacceptable if you're ugly.
Dressing down for an occasion. For example, hot guy can wear jeans to a semi-formal event and pull it off, looks fine, no worries. Ugly guy wears jeans to a semi-formal event, and he looks lazy and underdressed.
Crying.
When a beautiful person is crying everyone is concerned and consoling.
Ugly people cry no one gives a shit and acts like they aren't there.
To be a complete failure. If you are ugly you have to work hard, if you are a 9/10 someone will work hard for you.
They MIGHT work hard for you, if you are a woman and marry a rich man, BUT a better way to say it is that YOU never have to work hard, even if you have a job, and can get away with it. Sad.
As a pretty girl with resting bitch face I sometimes wish I could be less appealing sometimes, and to note not all of my problems are with my face, people think it's okay to interrupt me when I'm thinking and telling me how pretty I am and to smile more. NO! I'm reading, thinking or otherwise occupied I don't want to be decoration for you. Also I'm really introverted so makes it harder because I'm blond with blue eyes, and a large bust I must be a stupid cheerleader type right. And heavens forbid I date a man who's not "on my level" because I'm better than that right? No I find him perfect and just because you cannot see him for all of his attractiveness ie . his mind, heart, the way he loves, HIM AS A WHOLE PERSON, does not mean that I need to break up with him.
Although to be fair when asked what I'll do when I can't rely on my looks, I joking respond that I'll actually have to grow a personality.
Admitting you like someone...
I had the biggest crush on my bros best friend when I was younger.
Problem was, I looked like a ugly chicken that got hit by a soccerball.
So one day I told him that I liked him, Didint go over too well. He called me a "ugly bitch" and that was that.
Meanwhile my sister (who is quite beautiful) has guys throwing themselves at her, and if she tells someone she likes them they allways respond with "I feel the same" or something along that line...
If you are ugly and try to be pretty, you will be judged for trying to be pretty.
If you don't, you'll be judged for not trying... That's the Nasreddin and the Donkey tale.
That ugly mole somewhere in the vicinity of the nose/mouth. It's a mole, not a beauty mark.
Your courtship experiences vary widely. "He tracked me down and showed up at my doorstep this morning with my fav pumpkin latte... how romantic!!" vs "I am calling the cops you creepy stalker" "He is so shy, it's sooo cute" vs "He never talks, he's weird and creepy"
"He went to a comic book convention? Such a neeerd... sooo cute!
Asking for favors. If you are considered beautiful than you might be giving a hint. If you are considered ugly than you might be giving a desperate hint. Oh I forgot I am a woman, so asking questions and favors are always giving a hint. It just the desperation that is measured.
Yeah, to my experience, being a woman equal "giving hints". Hell, saying "Thank you" to someone who's holding a door for you is apparently a hint (even if you're 8 months pregnant, tired af and with edema)
If your quiet and ugly, you're a loner but if you're attractive and quiet, you're thoughtful.
Has anyone here read any of the "50 Shades" books? Rich + handsome = literally a free pass on anything.
Yep! Imagine that guy being poor and not realy handsome? Get it? Well that's not "50 Shades" but a "Criminal Minds" episode
It's tank tops when you're good looking.
It's wife beaters when you're ugly.
Being lazy.
Ugly guy falling asleep in class (A student): lets play a prank, he was probably up playing LOL what a loser
Hot girl missing deadlines, slacking off/talking in class: poor thing has a lot on her plate (she didn't), cut her some slack.
This sounds like the plot for a Roblox sad story, who tf thinks like this?
Self-deprecation.
Nah. Rodney Dangerfield was as ugly as they get, and it`s all he ever did. I loved the guy
Anything "nerd culture". Like actual nerd culture like playing MTG, DnD, watching anime. Girls arent going to care if a decent looking guy does any o that, but they will hard stereotype a dude if hes overweight and/or doesn't take good care of himself.
The reverse also works, and even from the guys stereotyped as "overweight nerd". How many would like a "gamer girlfriend" but of course a "Lara Croft look alike gamer girlfriend" not an "overweight/ugly gamer girlfriend"?
Posting selfies all the time.
Some really cute med student stabbed her boyfriend and got away with it, so even attempted murder is more acceptable.
I hope there were some better mitigating circumstances than just "being cute"...
Snort-like laughs. Someone who is attractive and snorts while laughing? They are quirky. Someone who is ugly and snorts while laughing? What a pig.
The easy answer is approaching attractive people in a bar. I've heard people talk about how offensive it is when ugly people try to do that, like he/she should know better, so they're an asshole for trying and should be ashamed. But if that person is above a 5 on the 10 scale, its wholly acceptable.
So ridiculous and what's sad is that most super attractive guys are total a******s, give or take a handful and even at that, their sincerity is questionable
I've been both obese and very fit in my life. I'm unattractive when I gain weight and was considered beautiful when I was thin. I prefer the way I am now, I'm now invisible. I take up lots more room physically, but no one walking down the street even looks at me. When I was fit, I had my ass slapped, was propositioned by married men, people would go out of their way to talk to me. I hate how the world is so bloody shallow.
Yeah, go fat, get diabetes and a bunch of other health conditions including more likelyhood of cancer. Bum slapping won't be much compared to daily insulin injections and all the perks of chemotherapy
Wearing jewellery/clothes. A year ago, in this dance, one of the 'popular' girls wore this horrific candy-pink dress, and was called 'unique' & 'bold'. This year's dance, an overweight girl wore the exact same dress, and was mocked on being 'poor' and was asked 'if she got it from the costume store'.
Posting ass pics to Instagram. I'm a guy and mine still never get any likes.
Crop tops in public.
Yup. I always thought I was "okay" looking until I realized most likely the reason people talk about me or sideeye me when I wear crop tops is because I'm ugly. I'm not super skinny but not even close to fat. All my friends that are girls will wear that and not even get a second look unless it's a guy checking them out or they get compliments. I definitely don't wear that stuff anymore
Being clumsy or quirky. if you're attractive it's "oh wow he/she is so quirky and interesting!" but if you're ugly it's "what's wrong them?"
I once sent an e-mail asking for advice on a piercing at a studio. The guy who answered was very chatty and we were getting on well. He asked to come in and discuss the piercing and said why don't you bring in some cake and I'll make you a coffee. When i arrived he acted really coldly to me and when i entioned the cake, he said he was professional and it wouldn't be good to have something to eat with a client. I was overweight at the time because of Bulimia. Now i have had treatment and have lost some weight, people are so much nicer to me in general. I've always been a kind person but now people return the favour, but only because of how i look.
I was fat (puppy fat) - taunted and mocked Lost weight "too fast" - I was on drugs, speed apparently (I wasn't)
Having [and using] mediocre skills. When you're attractive people think you're way more talented at things than you actually are. Like 30 Rock's 'pretty bubble' concept...it's a real thing.
Not a popular opinion, but from watching drama within my friend group, cheating. Average guy cheats, girl dumps him and never thinks about his sorry ass again. Hot guy cheats, girl says it's over but is dating him again within a month or 2. probably not many people would admit it, they'll all say cheating is unacceptable regardless of looks, but as far as I've seen, their actions tell another story.
Being drunk and disorderly in public.
As I sit here fanning myself- sweating.
I'm working my damn ass off outside in the heat and people will think it's because I'm fat. No. It's 90+ degrees with high humidity. All these other girls get to sit at a desk all day in the AC.
Bit controversial but... When a beautiful woman rapes a man.
Wearing a man romper. Handsome guy wearing it: really funny. Ugly guy trying: please bro...
Being interested in nerdy stuff like anime or MMO's. That skinny kid with the greasy hair that likes anime? What a weeb! Oh, but that handsome guy who watches the same stuff is cool. The chubby fat guy playing Warcraft is a loser, but the hot girl playing just has such an interesting character!
I've noticed people are much more likely to trust someone who is attractive rather than someone who's not good looking even though everyone lie from time to time and being handsome doesn't always mean you are not a liar.
I have found that those the most attractive are the most likely to lie. I think because they get away it and people don't really care. They put up with this kind of sh*t because they are so hot
I don't know if I'm ugly or not. But here my story. When I was in elementary school, everyone was chosen in school drama, but I didn't. I remember my teacher told me that I'm ugly. I have crooked teeth and leg, curly hair, and big eyeglasses. Since that day I try to observe my surroundings about a relationship of beauty and success. I realize that we need the confidence to be success. for beautiful people, may it is easy because they used to be surrounded by people. People tend to go to ask them first to be something important. In contradiction, me as "an ugly girl", I'm lack confident, and I must struggle hard to get what I want. But the positive thing is, this condition makes me never stop to learn, even all my hot friend already got a better position in their job, or the other get a rich husband. I learn self-acceptance. Now I'm really confident. I tried to conquer my fear and It is OK to call me ugly. I accept it.
What kind of teacher tells an elementary school kid that they're ugly?! They should NOT be a teacher.
Questioning your sexuality, or in my case, lack of it.
They don't ask much when I told them I'm asexual back when I was also dealing with obesity and terrible phase of acne. Now I'm a lot better shape, EVERYONE has something to say about it, as if I didn't even know myself but they do.
This happened to me
Hot guy compliments me "look at those legs! *wink*"
All the girls are "jelly". "OOh lucky you! You should ask him out!" etc.
An "ugly" guy does the exact same thing a few days later.
All the girls think he's a "creep" "sleaze". "wouldn't want to be you, you poor poor girl."
When I mentioned double standards they got super rude and defensive.
I eat some chips. I have this girl sitting next to me who a lot of boys think is cute. "You should eat healthier." Said the girl putting a crap ton of junk food on her plate...
I have a friend who had a health condition that caused her to become overweight. She would constantly get mocked for it and it made me so mad!!! She is a nice girl and is always there for people, even mean people. So one day I saw her crying and I asked what was wrong. "I told my crush I liked him and all the sudden he started being a jerk!" She told me how she wrote him a poem and he showed it to his "friends" all while laughing. He showed his gf (yes he had one and my friend knew but she couldn't help who she had a crush on). All these people laughed it up while she was trying to hold back her tears. Now when I heard this, the first thing I thot was how bruised this boy is gonna be when I see him. He isn't attractive, he started doing this to become popular and mock someone apparently less attractive. But she is beautiful... sadly now she is depressed...
Attractive and hit on girl... Okay
Not attractive and hit on girl... Harassment
Buying things that are linked with appearance, like clothes and personal care items. And not even just things like makeup or cute clothes, even basic things like underwear and shampoo. Like you're not supposed to have any sort of personal care if you're not gorgeous.
Of course, tampons and such are forbidden, because god forbid your ugly ass body think it can do women stuff.
I’m pretty sure that literally no one thinks this or even cares enough if an ugly OR attractive girl is wearing tampons or not, but go off if it makes you feel better. And this is coming from a dude.
Being yourself.
Representation in my religion. I am pagan (wiccan) and that is trending right now. I constantly see instagram feeds with hot woman hawking what ever crap they are currently trying to sell. It feels like if I am not a hot woman with three feet long hair wearing low cut flowy dresses that are low cut showing off my cleavage while wearing heavy eyeliner, I am not a real witch. I know this is an issue with christians too. I work at a church and even they flyers asking for donations for third world countries have the hot missionaries with somehow the good looking impoverished people.It's actually kinda weird now that I think about it.
I was morbidly obese most of my adult life. Lost over 130 lbs 3 years ago. When I was obese people laughed at me, said that i was disgusting, clothes store clerks wouldn't even acknowledge my presence in the store or just asked me what I was doing there because nothing would fit. People were just plain mean and rude. Now that I'm on a healthy weight people are a lot nicer and clothes store clerks almost give me VIP treatment.
Attractive people: Hipster, take care of nature, don't waste resources, zero emmisions, traveler without possessions. Ugly people: Homeless, invades street and parks, eat garbage, poor by not having car or home.
People assume your successes are based on your skills.
Handing out kisses like candy.
"Oh, so good to see you. It's been a while!" kiss kiss airkiss
Isn't this culture bound? I mean, all people do it where I am from, and maybe there is some doubt between growing up and actually being an adult, but all adults do that regurarly in my experience.
People want to be friends with you just because you're prettier/sexier than everyone else. They take selfies with you (ugly friend) and take another selfie with another 'friend' (pretty friend). Guess which one shows up on SM?
Yup! Match that up with a 150-word caption of how much she loves being your friend. How about the photo with you on it? Never uploads it!
A lot of these are oddly specific. I hope that you and some of the other commenters on here ranting are doing okay.
I eat some chips. I have this girl sitting next to me who a lot of boys think is cute. "You should eat healthier." Said the girl putting a crap ton of junk food on her plate...
Honestly, being attractive makes most of your life at least minimally easier/better. My mom was always a gorgeous and elegant woman, the kind of woman that dated men who owned yachts and bought her cars. And not because she was a gold digger, she never cared about that stuff. But as soon as she entered a life crisis, she looked completely different. She wore ratty clothes, she had bags under her eyes, she didn't put any effort into how she looked at all. And she didn't even get asked out, much less went on a date, for three years during that time. People were rude to her. She couldn't find a job. People ignored her. I later talked to her about it and she said it was like she walked into living the life of another person. Looks do matter.
Being a fictional superhero: If Batman was chubby and Wonder Woman was flat-chested, would everyone still dress up like them on Halloween?
Not totally true... maybe that wouldn't have the same fanbase, but there are superheroes that are not beauty canons. Like Faith (Marvel) Faith-keep...a4-png.jpg 
Saying bad words. If someone attractive is saying bad words, whether it's true, people will find it acceptable and think it was a "expression of a human". If someone ugly is saying bad words, it would be unforgivable and it seems to be the biggest sin, and most hatred part is, being judged.
Attractive person cusses: "Omg they just said a bad word, hehe how adorable" Unattractive person cusses: "Can you not you disgusting uncultured pile of s**t"
Going out with friends (and being seen by someone else you know). With an attractive person, it seems like, "Hey, s/he must have a lot of friends!" With unattractive people, they think, "S/he must be trying to make it seem like s/he has more friends then s/he actually does. What a faker."
One time I was scrolling through social media when I saw this post that was a famous woman (Female Celebrity 1) wearing a low-cut dress. The user who posted the photo wrote that C was a s/$&. I happened to know that sometime before, she'd posted a picture collage of another famous woman ( Female Celebrity 2) wearing tops and dresses that were equally (if not, more) low-cut. When I questioned the user about it and asked her why she didn't mind Female Celebrity 2 wearing those outfits, her answer was something along the lines of, " Because Female Celebrity 2 is pretty and Female Celebrity 1 is an ugly s/$&."
Yup. I don't even wear slightly revealing clothes anymore for this reason. Every time I have ill see or hear people whisper/point at me. So I just avoid it all together I have enough confidence issues as it is
mental illness/social
A an incredibly shy and self conscious 'attractive' girl i was told growing up that i was too beautiful to be upset and depressed by my own family. My English teacher flat out ignored the fact that i had a mental illness and told me that i "don't look like i have one." The principal of my old school told my parents that i 'looked so happy and was laughing with my 'friends'" whilst i was being consistently bullied and self harmed regularly. I don't know if that's just the school treating me like shit but they were way more happy to believe my not-as-attractive friend.
Also parties are my worst nightmares i'm in my late teens and i have a resting bitch face, people say i look stuck up, prissy, or must get around, but in realty i am a giant nerd and haven't even had my first kiss yet. So no one will come and talk to me and i'm too much of an anxious wreck to go up and speak to people because i'm afraid they'll think i'm a freak or something.
Intelligence. Generally speaking incredibly hot people (especially women) aren't expected to be intelligent and have to work hard to "prove" themselves in school and the workplace. Conversely, very good looking but not smoking hot people are generally perceived as smarter than a less hot person. People who don't rank high on the hottie scale are generally perceived to be "book worms" and the "go to" for answers on mundane and boring topics. I think intelligence can come in all forms so it's a shame that people's perceptions are so skewed.
It's too bad because she's beautiful.
Really good article touching very interesting social issue with those examples. And sadly very true as I can say from my own experience. 5 years ago I was really overweight and jobless. Job interviews were a nightmare. Everybody was laughing at me, no one would take me seriously and overall the potential employers were usually quite rude. I even contracted kind of mild job interview-phobia from this. A few years later I lost a LOT of weight and looked for a new job again. But I was much skinnier this time. I was completely dumbfounded by the difference, everyone was polite and nice, no signs of contempt and ridicule that I knew from the past. Suddenly they could see that I am totally qualified, clever, great and whatever. I found a job a lot sooner that before. Unfortunately, most people are just shallow and full of prejudices. But it is their loss - they miss a lot of chances to get a good friend/empoyee/mate.
Petra, your story is a perfect example how awful the society is to those who are different. I also have hard time making friends because I prefer to be the second to speak during introduction(I'm an introvert) and few people are interested in wasting their time trying to befriend a girl, who is mostly interested in reading books under her desk and usually only talks about zoology , novels and adventures. I mean, who is even interested in people, who hate malls and detest smartphones, anyway?
Load More Replies... In work, people think that the 'beautiful people' are smarter and more capable of doing the work. Most of them get a salary raise faster than people who work as hard as them but may not be a 'beautiful' as them.
Depends on what job it is. If it is more technical profession, usually the older and nerdy men get the biggest rating and thus promotion.
Load More Replies... Really good article touching very interesting social issue with those examples. And sadly very true as I can say from my own experience. 5 years ago I was really overweight and jobless. Job interviews were a nightmare. Everybody was laughing at me, no one would take me seriously and overall the potential employers were usually quite rude. I even contracted kind of mild job interview-phobia from this. A few years later I lost a LOT of weight and looked for a new job again. But I was much skinnier this time. I was completely dumbfounded by the difference, everyone was polite and nice, no signs of contempt and ridicule that I knew from the past. Suddenly they could see that I am totally qualified, clever, great and whatever. I found a job a lot sooner that before. Unfortunately, most people are just shallow and full of prejudices. But it is their loss - they miss a lot of chances to get a good friend/empoyee/mate.
Petra, your story is a perfect example how awful the society is to those who are different. I also have hard time making friends because I prefer to be the second to speak during introduction(I'm an introvert) and few people are interested in wasting their time trying to befriend a girl, who is mostly interested in reading books under her desk and usually only talks about zoology , novels and adventures. I mean, who is even interested in people, who hate malls and detest smartphones, anyway?
Load More Replies... In work, people think that the 'beautiful people' are smarter and more capable of doing the work. Most of them get a salary raise faster than people who work as hard as them but may not be a 'beautiful' as them.
Depends on what job it is. If it is more technical profession, usually the older and nerdy men get the biggest rating and thus promotion.
Load More Replies...