Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver
Throughout life, we naturally pick up small pieces of wisdom to put into our arsenals of experiences. From more practical tips like "eat mindfully" and "exercise every day" to corny but deeply universal truths — "stay true to yourself". We always keep an eye out for ways to improve the quality of our lives. Eventually, looking back on the decisions we’ve made, most of us uncover valuable lessons about how to make life more joyful and less problematic.
Unfortunately, far too often, the learning comes too late to prevent painful mistakes and wasted time and effort. Though we don’t have a time machine to take us back and help our past selves, we can at least offer these little pieces of advice to anyone willing to listen. So two months ago, Reddit user morningperzon did precisely that when they asked folks over 40 if they had any pertinent words of wisdom to pass down to people in their 20s.
The comments were immediately flooded with tips and habits from the older generation to give twentysomethings perspective on what's truly important. We at Bored Panda have gathered some of the most enlightening responses from the thread, so we hope you enjoy and get inspired. Be sure to upvote the replies that resonate with you, and share your insightful advice in the comment section below!
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I'm 81 and I really can't distill it down to one thing so here goes:
- Be yourself. Stop trying to live up to others' expectations and do your own thing.
- Get moving! Whether it's bike riding or walking or a gym membership. Just move.
- Eat healthy! Yes, those fast food fries and burgers are easy - but - you will pay for that some time in the future. Start eating healthy so it becomes a habit.
- Be kind to people. If everyone did this, imagine what a world we would live in!
- Become politically active. Support honest, progressive candidates in whatever way you can. And VOTE! F*****g VOTE!
Hugs from Gma.
Don't be afraid to do things by yourself. Go to that show, see the movie, take a day trip. Don't miss out on opportunities because no one will go with you.
Get to know your parents as people. Ask them all about their early lives and about their parents and other relatives. Write these things down if you can.
Before you know it, they will be gone, either physically or mentally and there will be so many things you want to know.
Very, very true. Write s**t down, or record audio or video. Once they're gone, they're gone :-(
Ghost your s**tty friends. They are as much of a liability to your health and future as any other malicious factors in your life right now.
And if you have to ask if they're a s**tty friend, they are a s**tty friend. Ghost them. Now.
VERY few companies out there will ever give a s**t about you. You should never feel any loyalty to them.
And colleagues are no friends even if you spend so much time with them.
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh—never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
I wish I was as "fat" now as the first time I thought I was "fat"
Take care of your body. Exercise to maintain a healthy weight and good cardiovascular health. As you get older, it's much harder to maintain these.
Something ppl don’t mention about being unhealthy is just how expensive it gets. Eating cheap c**p costs you much more in the end in medical bills, dr’s visits, etc. I bought a yoga mat that I just replaced after a decade and subscribe to a yoga channel on YouTube. Less than pennies a day to work out and be fit/healthy.
Life is short, enjoy! You may have a day or 50 years left, no one knows. Don't put things off for "your golden years".
that goes for 401k (retirement funds) as well. Do not spend your whole life working so they can put "he brought great value to the shareholders" on your tombstone. "Saving for retirement" implies you're going to only do fun stuff at 65. F**k that. You need to be doing fun stuff while your body is not a wreck. Source: me, old person.
Brush your teeth.
Do it.
Whatever it is . Take a trip. Start a band. Move to a new city. Do it now when you aren't as tied to place by obligations.
You can do whatever you want as long as you're willing to live with the consequences.
Your joints are the first thing to wear out--take care of them.
It's never too late to start a new career. Do what you love!
Save. If your job offers a 401k, take advantage of that. If not, open a savings account and put something in it every pay. Even if you can only afford to put in 5 bucks, it still adds up.
for those who don't speak american, a 401k is what the rest of the planet calls a retirement fund
You don't need to excel, average can be extremely fullfilling.
Aspire to be happy with little achievements.
Failures can open many unexpected windows.
Don’t rush to get married. You’re still figuring out who you are. Date, live together, whatever. Just don’t get married before 30.
Get. A. Pre-nup.
LOL...hubby always says: At least we know e didn't marry for money. We didn't have any back then. Now we built a nice life together. Not rich, but nice.
Iirc this is a 'marriage contract'. And I disagree. Thoroughly evaluate potential partners and put some effort into your relationship. Take marriage seriously and if in any doubt, don't marry at all.
Load More Replies...Go to the doctor and to the dentist regularly
And if you can, donate blood regularly. Apart from saving other people's lives, it has benefits for your health too. Also, if the donors get a free set of blood tests (they do in my country) you can spot serious health issue quite early. One of my friends was contacted by the transfusion center immediately after donating blood. His blood tests showed something was wrong. He underwent other investigations and was diagnosed with an early stage colorectal cancer. He didn't have any other signs or symptoms. He had surgery and chemo and now he's fine.
If you have a good relationship with your parents, try and see them. It’s frightening how quickly the years pass and suddenly they’re gone. Alzheimer’s also can hit unexpectedly and it’s amazing how much I wish for just a few more hours.
Work hard, but also have fun. That huge paycheck probably isn't worth it, unless you're super materialistic. Having a brand new tesla or a luxury condo is fun for a month, having good friends and balanced life is fun for a lifetime.
If you're addicted to nicotine, stop. If not, don't ever start.
Don’t worry about not getting to certain “milestones” by a particular age (like 25 or 30 or whatever). Everyone’s circumstances are different. If life gets in the way of your goals, just keep at it (and take a pause if you need) until you achieve them.
This is the most common cause of depression (stressing about milestones) and the most important cure is above.
Stretch. Start stretching. Do yoga. Keep stretching. Never get out of the habit. You don't have to be in the best shape to be happy, but stretching makes everything feel better, keeps it feeling good, and means that when you inevitably hurt yourself at some point in the future it's easier to recover.
You may feel invincible now. Every person in their 20s does. And then you hit 30. And you start noticing things like it hurts when you jump down the last two stairs instead of walking down them, or when you wake up, or just, from existing. In my 40s now, and I'm still doing just fine, and find my daily yoga practice matters more than any other exercise I've ever done.
My ankles were sore for a week after I jumped about 5 inches to get a cobweb from the ceiling
Don’t get fat. Losing weight is a brutal fight. It’s mentally draining.
I don't know if you can really control that as a youth. You are kinda at the mercy of your upbringing in that regard. I mean I've been fat since I was a child. My family's eating habits were my eating habits. My parents metabolism was my metabolism. They were fat so I am fat. Losing the weight after the fact is my only option in my reality. I guess the better advise would be to give your children a better relationship with food than you had so they don't have to deal with the side effects of weight gain. Because yes, it is very mentally draining to lose weight on purpose.
Stop obsessing that you need to
A) Be in a relationship
B) Knocked up/Parenting
C) Home Owning vs Renting
in order to "prove" to society your life has entered some larger adult phase.
You are 20. You may think you have it all figured out, and you certainly come with an in-built, unflinching optimism that life will go exactly as you wish as most of you haven't been thoroughly kicked in the face long enough yet by life to lose that rosy impression. However, you are 20. What you want today may not even be possible or relevant in 5 years let alone 20. You still have a lot of growing up to do and you will change.
latest science says brain stops growing at 25. So: please. Just enjoy yourself. Rent. Do not have kids. Do not get married. Travel. Be promiscuous. All that stuff is hard to do once you are in your 30s and are being pressurised to be a grownup.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
I tell my kids that you don't need to know what you want to be, but you have to choose something to be or do first. You can always change your mind later, just don't let it paralyze you into doing nothing at all.
Improve your posture now
Note: this post originally had 80 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
QUIT DRINKING! Im 40 years old and ive been drinking damn well every day since i was 19. Today marks my 15th day since i took a drop and i know its been a short time but man what a wake up call. I feel more energized. I feel great at wake up. Im more focused. My mind is clear. I know its only been only 2 weeks but i can not imagine what else to explore with my new found fresh air!
An AA sponsor of mine once told me that recovery could be really hard, draining, and full of emotional upheavals. I was nodding my head and saying, "oh, I know, I know." Then he said "or... it can be easy, exciting, and fun! And you get to choose." It's been almost 8 years since my last drink, and guess what? It's been easy, exciting, and fun. Keep on going! It just gets better and better and better!
Load More Replies...Definitely over 40 here and here’s mine: don’t be ashamed of your hobbies and interests (unless they are felonies). That love of Star Trek that got you bullied at school may be the thing that holds you together when you get depression at 30.
Invest a few hours per week (or per month) into doing volunteer work with a community organization. And try different kinds of volunteer work over the years. Helping improve the lives of other people will also improve your life. And then when you get old, you will have all kinds of connections with people in your local area instead of being alone in a house full of stuff that you collected.
"As we get older, shedding baggage along the way, we must keep an iron grip, to the very end, on the capacity for silliness. It preserves the soul from dessication." - Humphrey Lyttleton
See, actually pay attention to, others. Smile and give them a heartfelt compliment. Notice a vibrant colour they picked, a quote they are wearing and comment on that. You will have spread happiness. Notice old ppl, disabled people don't be afraid to ask if you can help. Be kind to every kind.
From a 61 year old: Before you spend money on something for yourself because "I work hard and I deserve it!", do the math and figure out how many hours or days you'll have to work to pay for it. You'll often discover you don't need it after all.
Wait until your 40s to have children. I don't know if I'd been as calm and relaxed about having children even in my mid-30s. My oldest is 5 and was born just days before my 40th. My baby is 2 and was born a few months after I turned 42. We were in a decent place financially and our relationship was a decade old before I even thought I was ready to have them. I guess that comes down to wait until you're financially, emotionally, and mentally prepared to have children even if you're 40.
I'm 42 (will be 43 next month) and my very best advice I can give is to rid your life of negative people. Sometimes those negative people are family and it may seem impossible to do but we can love others from a distance to better our own lives. Negative people bring on negative feelings/negative energy and it will exhaust you. Also always remember as long as you are trying you NEVER fail. So be cool with yourself. You really are okay.
My advice - take care of your health and save as much money as you can. After these, do whatever you want.
Way over 40, my advice is to put down your phone, no one wants to see what you're doing. Enjoy life, make memories, laugh and meet people ...
Question everyone. Left or right, liberal or conservative. They only care about their own status and power. We are just pawns to them.
In the US we don't teach our children financial education in HS nor college (though I'm sure macro economics helped someone some where...). Know what the rich tell their children that the the poor don't. Teach yourself and take control of your future and make sure your kids get an education on this. Our schools only teach how to be a good cog in the machine... Not how to free themselves from the machine. Know the difference between an asset and a liability, buy the A and sell the L's...
Quit whatever causes you drama and learn to pick your battles. Not everything and everyone is worth the effort and your mental health will be so much better for it.
Invest in your hobbies, as they contribute to your mental wellbeing, and your mental wellbeing is one of the most important things ever.
QUIT DRINKING! Im 40 years old and ive been drinking damn well every day since i was 19. Today marks my 15th day since i took a drop and i know its been a short time but man what a wake up call. I feel more energized. I feel great at wake up. Im more focused. My mind is clear. I know its only been only 2 weeks but i can not imagine what else to explore with my new found fresh air!
An AA sponsor of mine once told me that recovery could be really hard, draining, and full of emotional upheavals. I was nodding my head and saying, "oh, I know, I know." Then he said "or... it can be easy, exciting, and fun! And you get to choose." It's been almost 8 years since my last drink, and guess what? It's been easy, exciting, and fun. Keep on going! It just gets better and better and better!
Load More Replies...Definitely over 40 here and here’s mine: don’t be ashamed of your hobbies and interests (unless they are felonies). That love of Star Trek that got you bullied at school may be the thing that holds you together when you get depression at 30.
Invest a few hours per week (or per month) into doing volunteer work with a community organization. And try different kinds of volunteer work over the years. Helping improve the lives of other people will also improve your life. And then when you get old, you will have all kinds of connections with people in your local area instead of being alone in a house full of stuff that you collected.
"As we get older, shedding baggage along the way, we must keep an iron grip, to the very end, on the capacity for silliness. It preserves the soul from dessication." - Humphrey Lyttleton
See, actually pay attention to, others. Smile and give them a heartfelt compliment. Notice a vibrant colour they picked, a quote they are wearing and comment on that. You will have spread happiness. Notice old ppl, disabled people don't be afraid to ask if you can help. Be kind to every kind.
From a 61 year old: Before you spend money on something for yourself because "I work hard and I deserve it!", do the math and figure out how many hours or days you'll have to work to pay for it. You'll often discover you don't need it after all.
Wait until your 40s to have children. I don't know if I'd been as calm and relaxed about having children even in my mid-30s. My oldest is 5 and was born just days before my 40th. My baby is 2 and was born a few months after I turned 42. We were in a decent place financially and our relationship was a decade old before I even thought I was ready to have them. I guess that comes down to wait until you're financially, emotionally, and mentally prepared to have children even if you're 40.
I'm 42 (will be 43 next month) and my very best advice I can give is to rid your life of negative people. Sometimes those negative people are family and it may seem impossible to do but we can love others from a distance to better our own lives. Negative people bring on negative feelings/negative energy and it will exhaust you. Also always remember as long as you are trying you NEVER fail. So be cool with yourself. You really are okay.
My advice - take care of your health and save as much money as you can. After these, do whatever you want.
Way over 40, my advice is to put down your phone, no one wants to see what you're doing. Enjoy life, make memories, laugh and meet people ...
Question everyone. Left or right, liberal or conservative. They only care about their own status and power. We are just pawns to them.
In the US we don't teach our children financial education in HS nor college (though I'm sure macro economics helped someone some where...). Know what the rich tell their children that the the poor don't. Teach yourself and take control of your future and make sure your kids get an education on this. Our schools only teach how to be a good cog in the machine... Not how to free themselves from the machine. Know the difference between an asset and a liability, buy the A and sell the L's...
Quit whatever causes you drama and learn to pick your battles. Not everything and everyone is worth the effort and your mental health will be so much better for it.
Invest in your hobbies, as they contribute to your mental wellbeing, and your mental wellbeing is one of the most important things ever.