Someone Asks How People Find The Time To Live If They Work Full-Time, 30 Twitter Users Elaborate
You work 8 hours a day. But add your lunch break, commute, and the number grows to about 11. Of course, you need sleep, which takes us to 19. Then there's grocery shopping, cooking, other home chores, taking care of your pet, driving your car to the mechanic, a phone conversation with mom, and I haven't even touched on personal growth, social relationships, and other important aspects of a healthy, fulfilling life.
Earlier this month, writer, editor, and podcaster merritt k asked Twitter if it's possible that working full time leaves you with making too many sacrifices, and it looks like many people have been asking themselves the same question because, in just a few days, the woman's tweet received over 257K likes and was flooded with answers.
We managed to get in touch with merritt k and she was kind enough to have a little chat with us.
"[I created the thread in an attempt to see] if I could successfully imitate the kind of accounts that just post really banal relatable things and get lots of engagement," she told Bored Panda. "It turns out it’s not that hard."
When asked about her own work-life balance, she said that it's actually great. "I’m the best at it."
"Read the Tao Te Ching," merrit k added. Written more than two thousand years ago, this classic is useful for those who want to master the arts of leadership in business and politics and develop a sense of balance and harmony in everyday life.
Continue scrolling to check out the discussion that has erupted in merritt's thread.
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I don't think it was designed with any worker friendly assumption like that. It was the best unions could get via strikes.
Our modern lifestyle has resulted in a lot of work-related stress. Even if we look at data before the pandemic. In 2016, nearly half (44 percent) of working adults said that their job affects their overall health, but only 28 percent of those believe that effect is a good one.
People with disabilities, in dangerous or low-paying jobs, and those in retail are most likely to say their job has a negative impact on their stress levels (43 percent), eating habits (28 percent), sleeping patterns (27 percent) and weight (22 percent), according to a survey from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health in collaboration with National Public Radio and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
In some European countries women who have been housewives for all their life get a state pension when they are over 65. In the Netherlands it was done because it is a sign of equality of labor. Without housewives the economy would and could not thrive.
Things get even worse if you have a heightened appetite for work. First of all, evidence suggests that putting in more hours each week doesn't necessarily equate to higher productivity, in fact, research tells us that productivity drops sharply after grinding 50 hours per week, and falls off a cliff after 55 hours. Plus, not taking at least one full day off per week lowers our hourly output overall.
Overwork can also take a huge toll on our health. A study from the World Health Organization (WHO), for example, discovered that working an average of 55 hours or more each week increases your risk of stroke by 35 percent and your risk of dying from heart disease by 17 percent, compared to averaging a 35-40 hour workweek.
I question how much "raised 4 kids" this 69 year old man did. Not a personal attack, it was just a different era and different culture. There was no equality in housework and child rearing then. Just a fact. I'd be very impressed if he was a single dad with no help and worked. Then I want details. How did that work out?
As a result, a number of companies worldwide have implemented the four-day workweek and Japan's government has recommended it as national policy. It isn't a new idea, but the concept seems to have come under greater consideration since the pandemic has generated a broad reevaluation of how we work, including a greater work-from-home migration and hybrid office arrangements.
The four-day workweek, ideally, should come with no loss in productivity, pay, or benefits. Depending on the company and the industry, everyone might work Monday through Thursday and have Fridays off but there are other possibilities, including allowing each employee to choose their extra day off or having a company-wide policy of a different third day off, such as Monday or Wednesday.
That’s simply not true. Only highly skilled working class and middle class families could afford a non working spouse devoted to the home and they were a minority. As for farm families, the farm wife worked as as her husband - canning, weaving, looking after chickens, vegetable patch etc. She often worked in the fields especially if the kids weren’t old enough to help. Yes, she tended the babies but that was on top of everything else and older kids were drafted to do that by around age 5 or 6. As my late grandmother said, her mother worked harder than anyone.
This is why I don't like when I see articles like, "Celebrity A wakes up at 2-4am for their routine" as though I'm being lazy. They have their own gym, kitchen staff, meal plans to be delivered....they don't have the same routine.
A lot of companies have tried this practice but one of the biggest tests comes from Iceland. Roughly 1 percent of the country's working population was involved in a set of trials of shorter workweeks for equal pay, which ran for several years starting in 2015.
"The trials were successful," concluded a recent research report on the experiment."
Participating workers took on fewer hours and enjoyed greater well-being, improved work-life balance and a better cooperative spirit in the workplace — all while maintaining existing standards of performance and productivity."
I just wanted to give you hugs. I am disabled but also suffer from horrific depression on and off. I chose tasks/errands based on what/when I have teeny bits of energy. If my dishes don't get done, or I don't get a shower that day, the world won't end.
I worked once where it took me two hours each way to get to work....minimum 4 hours each day. I really liked the job but I had to leave after a year...it messed me up so much.
One disadvantage reported in Iceland's experiments was that it was more challenging for managers to schedule group activities like training days or goodbye parties for departing staff. Some workers also said that the compressed pace made it harder to communicate handoff information to their colleagues between shifts.
A Gallup study found that people who worked four-day weeks had significantly higher levels of well-being and were less likely to feel chronically burned out. But they also had higher levels of active disengagement. "By working fewer days per week, employees who already feel disconnected from their employer, team, or manager are more likely to drift even farther away — from tolerating their jobs to hating them," Gallup’s Jim Harter and Ryan Pendell stated. That's especially important for companies that worry about worker retention.
People who claim to do it all without problems are lying. Or jacked up on medication/alcohol
To be fair, mental health reporting goes up because it's being reported. A generation ago a kid in the class was "weird" or "dim" or "disruptive", now there's actual diagnoses like ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, Asperger's, etc.
We have a cleaner once a fortnight, who does the whole house. With both my wife and I working, and looking after two kids, our cleaner is a blessing! If only I could afford to have her every week.
My boss doesn't even like it when we take a sick day or a personal day....imagine suggesting a 4 day work week...madness.
My mom worked full-time at their restaurant and also did the tasks of a SAHM. Dad worked there too, managed and maintained the business and did the bookwork, plus the maintenance tasks around the house. But they had little time to spend building our family relationships, which caused everyone a lot of grief in later years and robbed us of many valuable family experiences.
Lucky them to get home at 16:40 and finish eating at 18:30. I'm home at 19.
Yep. My experience in the US is that most people are actually at work a minimum of 8.5 to 9 hours per day since lunch is unpaid. And many people have a commute longer than 1 hour a day. My commute is 2 hours on a good day, yet somehow managers are surprised the majority of us office-working folks want a hybrid work from home if not 100% work from home after experiencing how much better it is for work/life balance.
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This breakdown of time management either doesn't allow for housework/its gets done by someone else or the house is a disaster and they live in their own filth. Oh wait! Third option: "free time" = cleaning, errands, etc. Those hobbies are sooo relaxing and regenerative.
Weekends. Cleaning, errands, etc. can get done on weekends. Most work 5 days a week. That leaves 2 fully days for everything else.
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And to cook AND eat proper food, no instant noodles are not proper food. Also that schedule lacks of grocery, shopping, going back home time, so...
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6:45 wake up 7:40 leave for work 8:20 arrive at work - get coffee and start teaching at 8:30 17:30 leave work, get groceries on the way home 18:30 arrive at home 19:00 start cooking 19:30 have dinner 20:00 clean up, fold laundry, do some other small chores that cannot wait until the weekend... 21:00 wind down, watch some tv 22:00-22:30 bed time! I don't know about you guys, but I'm usually crazy tired after around 3 days like this.
It ain’t free time. They forgot about preparing that meal, setting the table, making sure everyone eats enough, clearing the table, wrapping up leftovers, doing dishes, wiping down the table and kitchen counters, getting the kids ready for bed, trying to get at least ONE load of laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away so you have something to wear the next couple days, etc, etc, etc. Then one of the kids wakes up and starts wandering around upstairs. Or the dog starts barking at “maybe something”, so you have to go find out what. Even if you’re both doing your fair share, THAT fills—-and most likely runs over—-that 6:30-9:00 time slot.
You're talking about a family. This scenario, I think, is for a single person. The task list is far more manageable when kids/family isn't part of the equation.
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6:30-9:00 Bored Panda. That's what is fückinkg up my success in life right now.
That timeline does not include an unpaid lunch break and a 40 min commute door to door in unrealistic in urban areas.
I live outside of Oslo, my commute takes 40 minutes door to door to the center. Some colleagues live much closer.
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This is overlooking the fact that an 8 hour shift doesn't mean you're only at work for 8 hours. Most jobs want you working the whole time you're there, and I've never worked anywhere that offered payed lunch. So you have to be there ten minutes early to get settled (parking, put your stuff away, get to your work station), end up leaving at ten past at the earliest. So that means your scheduled hours will be more like 8-4:30, and you'll be on site 7:50-4:40. So an 8 hour shift means close to nine hours at work.
imagine,if 40 hour week can mess up one's life so much, how tough can it be to work as a security guard or something a factory worker with different shifts. It also messes up your sleep cycle -.-'
So cooking and eating is the only thing a person needs to do? No laundry, no chores, no errands? and what if you have pets? or children? or pets AND Children? I WISH cooking and eating was the only non free time activity I had to do. That would be wonderful.
An "8 hour day" usually includes 1/2 to 1 hour for lunch, so that the worker starting at 8:00 doesn't finish until 5:00. And commute time is very likely to be more than 1/2 hour each way. Realistically, one hour from leaving the house to arriving at one's desk is more accurate, and the same going home. Going to bed at 11 and wakening at 6:45 doesn't allot a full 8 hours for sleep, skimping on which can have serious health consequences. I'm seeing three hours easily cut out of that schedule, leaving the person NONE of the 2.5ish hours for cleaning, hobbies, and relationships.
Yeah - in what world do you stay at work for precisely 8 hours and leave.
Didn't get to experience a work from home job for covid. Even though my work could be done at home 100% of the time. I drive an hour to work and an hour from work every day. I am on call every other week and my personal cell has the office phone forwarded to it Monday - Friday 8-5. So even if I take a random day off for a dr appt I still see calls coming in and have anxiety. I'm so tired of this crap. And on top of all that my job has absolutely no benefits and pays me just enough to cover my bills but too much to go anywhere else. I've been doing this for 8 years in total. I'm ready to retire. And the sad thing is that may not happen for me.
Even worse if you have two kids in two different schools. Now you're awakening at 0430 to get everyone where they're supposed to be. Then getting home at 1630, cooking, eating, washing dishes. Now it's 1830. Help the kids with homework or just spend time with them before bed. Now it's 2030 and you have to be asleep by right now to get 8 hours of sleep. Zero time for yourself.
Also lucky to live that close to work and have no-one else to look after! 06.00 get up, wash, dress, eat breakfast 07.00 take dogs out for a walk 08.00 bring them home, dry them, feed them 08.15 change & leave for work 09.00-16.00 teach & do admin, some days travelling between sites 17.00 get home, change & take the dogs out 18.00 have my first cuppa since breakfast 18.45 ish start to think about what to eat 19.00 daily call to aged parents to check on their wellbeing 19.30 eat whatever I ended up making 20.00-21.30 relax - time for hobbies??? 21.30 tidy up and get ready for bed & I apparently only work "part time"
Preparing for bed and winding down takes 2 hours???? Actually you have 4 and 1/2 hours free leisure time. Ask someone over for dinner (Simple and quick). Have a drink. What's so terrible with this time schedule??? You can do sports, gardening, read a book.
Given you have to give up a chunk of that preparing for bed to showering, ironing clothes for tomorrow, putting the kids to sleep, checking their homework and whatever else is required in that person's particular lifestyle, they may not have the energy to entertain a friend. That "free time" in the schedule has to be used for cleaning and chores too since there's no slot in there for that.
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How TF can you even keep nice nails AND work (like type on a keyboard, answer the phone, file, etc) cook, clean, do laundry, take care of kids, and fix stuff that breaks? I stopped getting manicures and went for short nails and clear polish, because I actually USE my hands to get all that s**t done, and was wrecking manicures all the time.
Note: this post originally had 48 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Before marriage and kids I had disposable income and lived alone. House almost always clean because just me and I was always at work or out living. Good income, cleaner once a fortnight and most clothes dry cleaned and lots of take out. Full time was easy and I had hobbies and good social life. Fast forward 10 years, husband, two kids, aging parents, house and garden. House is always a disaster. Laundry is insurmountable. Grocery shopping and meal prep are the bane of my existence, chauffeuring children takes inordinate amount of time and my hobby is a house plant I struggle to keep alive. Even with my partner who also works full time and contributes equally to the house and kids and spends heaps of time looking after parents, we have lowered our standards of 'clean' and our social interactions are limited. The 40 hour work week was built upon the back of women who stayed home and took care of everything. Its just not possible to 'have it all'.
Being single and having any disposable income today is a dream. I can't afford any of the apartments around me, especially at minimum wage. The cheapest apartment (and it looks it too, roaches, regular bedbugs and gunshots y'know) would take 82 hour weeks at minimum wage. You need a car to get there as well, and sometimes you do need to eat.i would love to live alone and not have to clean up after other people, share things I buy etc, but it's literally not possible. I tried.
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The key for this situation is to do two things only per day. So a person can go to work and clean the house/flat on Monday; go to work and spend actual quality time with loved ones or at least check up on them on Tuesday; spend time on a hobby on Wednesday plus go to work, etc. It’s unfortunate, but that is the absurd current reality.
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For the past couple weeks, at least, I've been crying every day and breaking down mentally. Currently I'm trying to find another job and seeking career counselling. but I can't quit. I have others that I'm supporting.
The saddest thing is that this is all about 40 hour work weeks. I look around me and wonder when the last time most of the people I know IRL work so "few" hours a week?
Americans: Can't stop posting things about how sad and miserable life in the US for most people is. Europeans: Won't stop commenting on those posts. Americans: "Why are you constantly bashing the US? " Europeans: .................
Even without children, it does get harden when you get older. Ten years ago I could do 10 hour shifts and then jump on my hobbies and be fine after 5-6 hours of sleep. These days I find myself after work just wanting to sit on my sofa with a mug of hot tea and not move around too much. It doesn't help that my job is a bit physically tiring. During lockdowns when I couldn't work I had so much more energy, doing 15+km walks every day, cooking healthy, doing some crafty stuff... 40h working weeks ARE too much for a balanced, happy life, period.
I am finding this too. I need so much more sleep and have so much less energy than I did 10 years ago!
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My mother once said: "I can be a good nurse and a good mother, or a good nurse and a good hosuekeeper. I choose to be a good mother." And she was.
I feel like I'm going to get flack for this... BUT... I'm only saying this is what worked for me. Single mom 40hr week, plus 3 other side gigs(bartending, event promotions, house-cleaning) while going to school. This. Was. Hard. I lived an unbelievably frugal life. No cable, no name brand, watering down whole milk to make it last. I did this for 4 years. I set a goal, and bought us a house with that extra income. Now, I can chill and enjoy the things I missed out on w/o the extra jobs. No debt either. For me it was what do I want? What am I willing to sacrifice for it? I would absolutely do it all over again even though it was stupid difficult. It was worth it.
work sucks! or where I'm from "Arbeit ist Scheisse Nobody should work 40h a week for a shitty pay or retire at 65 years being old and sick from years of exploitation and stress, unless its by their own choice. 30h weeks, fair pay for your time, retirement at 40years. I live in the US and its crazy that people are even afraid to take a day off because they are sick. You have about 4 hours every work day for yourself, the rest is for work, travel time to your job, getting food. We are modern slaves. Replaceable by another slave or soon, Machines. Most of us working their precious lifetime away. No time for what really matters. Your health, your loved ones, your dreams. The rich is getting richer and the rest continues to struggle...work sucks!
Very good trained slaves indeed. So well, we dare not even imagine not miserably working to our graves. And we call that FREEDOM
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If you quit your job tomorrow and the result is an immediate loss of health coverage, while putting you in imminent jeopardy of homelessness, you are a by definition, a slave. Change my mind (please!)
Only in America. In the UK, if you lose your job you still have free healthcare, and can sign on for state aid.
Load More Replies... Hang on. I get that lots are suffering and if you have a long commute then it's tough and if you have children then you must be exhausted. For me: an hours commute, no kids.I did work 40 hours a week and sometimes more, lots more. I had a social life, could go out, have a drink at the local pub, hang about at home, have friends for a meal. All this on weekdays.... One thing: I was spoiled and had a cleaner come in 4 hours a week (just one morning) which helps. But seriously, It can be done.
Key words. No Kids. I had no problems managing full time work and social life and hobbies before kids. If I wanted to have a social life and hobbies now, I would need a wife.
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I live in a permanent cycle of letting different things slide. My house completely falls apart but my business and my kids' schooling do well (homeschool). Then, my kids get behind in school, but my house stays clean. Later, my business gets neglected, but my kids and house are moving along like clockwork. But when my business is neglected, I'm not making enough money to supplement my husband's income. Meanwhile, he and I live in a constant state of stress that is always juuust under the surface. But from the outside, I look like an amazing multitasker. That's not my goal, it's just the result of me trying to keep the plates spinning until something gives.
People just don't want to work anymore and want everything handed to them for free. Or they want $100/hour with 2 hour days. I managed to work 50 hours a week and have a life and pay for all the stuff I wanted, so did entire generations of people.
LOL. "All the stuff"... entire generations.... LOL. Thank you. I snort-laughed. :-)
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Funny thing is that the woman posting the original question doesn't even have kids... so my response to her is "it gets worse". Try having both parents working full time then coming home and having to cook, clean etc. for yourself AND small humans who can't take care of themselves. Not to mention helping with homework, or driving them to appointments. I'm not surprised that fewer people are having kids these days.
2:45am: 1st alarm (hit snooze) 3:00am: 2nd alarm (get up) 3:05am: Sluggish exercise 3:45am: Shower, dress, feed dogs, etc. 4:30am: Leave for Vanpool & fuel up car 5:30am: Arrive at Park & Ride 5:45-6am: Meet vanpool 6:30-6:45pm: Arrive at work 7am-3:30pm: Work (breakfast & lunch at work) 4pm: Pickup car at Park & Ride 5pm: Grocery pickup (1-2x per week) 5:30pm: Arrive home 5:30-6:30pm: Misc. household chores or hobby if working on a project. 6:30-8pm: Movie or show with hubby (dinner was a banana in the car on the way home) 8pm-3am: Sleep Weekends: making individual portions of meals that can freeze for lunches + a weeks worth of smoothies (that can freeze) and overnight oats for breakfasts.
if you budget your time (formally or informally) the way you budget your money (something few people do, unfortunately), you'll find you can have it all
Not to mention that you are in the USA ! and SO afraid of Socialism, which would make your conditions at work and your pay rates better. If you keep on voting in plutocrats then stop whingeing about living in a plutocrocay
Stop bitching. The Workers fought long and hard t to get a 40 hour week, https://www.businessinsider.com.au/history-of-the-40-hour-workweek-2015-10?r=US&IR=T
I’m about to make a lot of people mad. I work in a factory. The average week is 48 hours and most weeks are 56. We only work 8 hours on Friday and usually have the weekends off. I do grocery pickup on Fridays, meal prep for the week on Sunday afternoons, and do housework before and after work. I also spend a little time each day ( usually 30 minutes to an hour ) with a hobby. Saturday I relax and catch up with friends and family. If I can do this with mandatory overtime, I don’t know why people are whining over 40 hours.
When i lived by myself i worked two fulltime jobs and kept apartment clean plus went out with friends. It's once you add in a significant other and kids that it gets hard. Obviously cleaning is first to go, its much more important for mental health to spend time with loved ones then pick up clutter over n over. Just wish i had the energy i used to.
The sheer arrogance of the modern, developed world is staggering. If you went back to just prior to the industrial revolution, the reality for the vast majority was unending backbreaking work in an effort not to starve, or freeze, literally. Holidays were unheard of, basic jobs that we can do without thinking were hours of drudgery: laundry for example. In other words, give all your imagined hardship a rest and thank your lucky stars that we live in this era!
The fact there's people in a worse situation than yours does not make your problems less valuable. Sure, a 4th stadium cancer is worse than, let's say, endometriosis; but having endometriosis still sucks, and it should not being minimized just because it's not f*****g terminal cancer!
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So I run two jobs, work most nights to 11, BUT I do manage to find time for relationships - mostly friday nights. Kids take a fair bit of time, and you do have to have a partner who shares that load. Cleaning is simply a lost cause, take clothes to a laundromat and let someone else sort that. Of course, money helps that issue. Without money it wouldn't be feasible and relationships would be cut. So yeah, unless your hobby _is_ your job, it's not feasible to do all four.
I'm almost thinking the key factor is children. I work 40 hours a week. I cook from scratch 5-6 days a week for me and hubby. I do probably more than my share of the chores. I phone my parents once a week, and chat with my friends (we're not at socialising again yet, but substitute online chat with visiting with for pre-pandemic habits) at least once a week. And I enjoy playing video games, doing embroidery, watching Netflix (but I don't *binge* watch - one episode and done) and I've even squeezed in studying for a professional qualification this past 12 months. And, actual sleeping patterns aside, I'm in bed, head on pillow for 7.5 hours a night. What are the people who are complaining doing so differently? Where are their priorities so different than mine that makes them feel like they're failing? (Note - if they're working two jobs, and therefore more than 40 hours including commute times, that's a totally different issue)
Have you done some exercise lately? Health checks? Dentist? Do you own a pet? Have yo to take daily care of someone else who is cronically sick? Do you have a cronic excruciating illness or disability? Had you ever have to cope with mental issues, domestic violence, legal problems, eviction, have you or your partner, or both, suddenly become jobless and unable to find a new job, or unable to work anymore? Had you have to close your only work source due to the pandemic lockdown? Had you never have to pay health debts becuse your insurance won't pay? Had you been ill or had an accident without having health insurance? Had a natural disaster never happened to you? Had you have to leave your country because of war, famine, dictatorship goverment, narcotraffic violence, terrorism, religious persecution, genocide? Maybe you can have a couple ideas why people may had different priorities. Or why they are doing something "wrong" And I'm not even thinking about having children...
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When you have little people cleaning as you go is a full time job. lol
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Not a millennial but your statements not accurate. There's no way one person can get everything done just by themselves. 8 hours of sleep is necessary or you're sacrificing your health. A clean house isn't worth it. We need other people, and the cost of surviving is too damn high.
Load More Replies... Before marriage and kids I had disposable income and lived alone. House almost always clean because just me and I was always at work or out living. Good income, cleaner once a fortnight and most clothes dry cleaned and lots of take out. Full time was easy and I had hobbies and good social life. Fast forward 10 years, husband, two kids, aging parents, house and garden. House is always a disaster. Laundry is insurmountable. Grocery shopping and meal prep are the bane of my existence, chauffeuring children takes inordinate amount of time and my hobby is a house plant I struggle to keep alive. Even with my partner who also works full time and contributes equally to the house and kids and spends heaps of time looking after parents, we have lowered our standards of 'clean' and our social interactions are limited. The 40 hour work week was built upon the back of women who stayed home and took care of everything. Its just not possible to 'have it all'.
Being single and having any disposable income today is a dream. I can't afford any of the apartments around me, especially at minimum wage. The cheapest apartment (and it looks it too, roaches, regular bedbugs and gunshots y'know) would take 82 hour weeks at minimum wage. You need a car to get there as well, and sometimes you do need to eat.i would love to live alone and not have to clean up after other people, share things I buy etc, but it's literally not possible. I tried.
Load More Replies... The key for this situation is to do two things only per day. So a person can go to work and clean the house/flat on Monday; go to work and spend actual quality time with loved ones or at least check up on them on Tuesday; spend time on a hobby on Wednesday plus go to work, etc. It’s unfortunate, but that is the absurd current reality.
Load More Replies... For the past couple weeks, at least, I've been crying every day and breaking down mentally. Currently I'm trying to find another job and seeking career counselling. but I can't quit. I have others that I'm supporting.
The saddest thing is that this is all about 40 hour work weeks. I look around me and wonder when the last time most of the people I know IRL work so "few" hours a week?
Americans: Can't stop posting things about how sad and miserable life in the US for most people is. Europeans: Won't stop commenting on those posts. Americans: "Why are you constantly bashing the US? " Europeans: .................
Even without children, it does get harden when you get older. Ten years ago I could do 10 hour shifts and then jump on my hobbies and be fine after 5-6 hours of sleep. These days I find myself after work just wanting to sit on my sofa with a mug of hot tea and not move around too much. It doesn't help that my job is a bit physically tiring. During lockdowns when I couldn't work I had so much more energy, doing 15+km walks every day, cooking healthy, doing some crafty stuff... 40h working weeks ARE too much for a balanced, happy life, period.
I am finding this too. I need so much more sleep and have so much less energy than I did 10 years ago!
Load More Replies... My mother once said: "I can be a good nurse and a good mother, or a good nurse and a good hosuekeeper. I choose to be a good mother." And she was.
I feel like I'm going to get flack for this... BUT... I'm only saying this is what worked for me. Single mom 40hr week, plus 3 other side gigs(bartending, event promotions, house-cleaning) while going to school. This. Was. Hard. I lived an unbelievably frugal life. No cable, no name brand, watering down whole milk to make it last. I did this for 4 years. I set a goal, and bought us a house with that extra income. Now, I can chill and enjoy the things I missed out on w/o the extra jobs. No debt either. For me it was what do I want? What am I willing to sacrifice for it? I would absolutely do it all over again even though it was stupid difficult. It was worth it.
work sucks! or where I'm from "Arbeit ist Scheisse Nobody should work 40h a week for a shitty pay or retire at 65 years being old and sick from years of exploitation and stress, unless its by their own choice. 30h weeks, fair pay for your time, retirement at 40years. I live in the US and its crazy that people are even afraid to take a day off because they are sick. You have about 4 hours every work day for yourself, the rest is for work, travel time to your job, getting food. We are modern slaves. Replaceable by another slave or soon, Machines. Most of us working their precious lifetime away. No time for what really matters. Your health, your loved ones, your dreams. The rich is getting richer and the rest continues to struggle...work sucks!
Very good trained slaves indeed. So well, we dare not even imagine not miserably working to our graves. And we call that FREEDOM
Load More Replies... If you quit your job tomorrow and the result is an immediate loss of health coverage, while putting you in imminent jeopardy of homelessness, you are a by definition, a slave. Change my mind (please!)
Only in America. In the UK, if you lose your job you still have free healthcare, and can sign on for state aid.
Load More Replies... Hang on. I get that lots are suffering and if you have a long commute then it's tough and if you have children then you must be exhausted. For me: an hours commute, no kids.I did work 40 hours a week and sometimes more, lots more. I had a social life, could go out, have a drink at the local pub, hang about at home, have friends for a meal. All this on weekdays.... One thing: I was spoiled and had a cleaner come in 4 hours a week (just one morning) which helps. But seriously, It can be done.
Key words. No Kids. I had no problems managing full time work and social life and hobbies before kids. If I wanted to have a social life and hobbies now, I would need a wife.
Load More Replies... I live in a permanent cycle of letting different things slide. My house completely falls apart but my business and my kids' schooling do well (homeschool). Then, my kids get behind in school, but my house stays clean. Later, my business gets neglected, but my kids and house are moving along like clockwork. But when my business is neglected, I'm not making enough money to supplement my husband's income. Meanwhile, he and I live in a constant state of stress that is always juuust under the surface. But from the outside, I look like an amazing multitasker. That's not my goal, it's just the result of me trying to keep the plates spinning until something gives.
People just don't want to work anymore and want everything handed to them for free. Or they want $100/hour with 2 hour days. I managed to work 50 hours a week and have a life and pay for all the stuff I wanted, so did entire generations of people.
LOL. "All the stuff"... entire generations.... LOL. Thank you. I snort-laughed. :-)
Load More Replies... Funny thing is that the woman posting the original question doesn't even have kids... so my response to her is "it gets worse". Try having both parents working full time then coming home and having to cook, clean etc. for yourself AND small humans who can't take care of themselves. Not to mention helping with homework, or driving them to appointments. I'm not surprised that fewer people are having kids these days.
2:45am: 1st alarm (hit snooze) 3:00am: 2nd alarm (get up) 3:05am: Sluggish exercise 3:45am: Shower, dress, feed dogs, etc. 4:30am: Leave for Vanpool & fuel up car 5:30am: Arrive at Park & Ride 5:45-6am: Meet vanpool 6:30-6:45pm: Arrive at work 7am-3:30pm: Work (breakfast & lunch at work) 4pm: Pickup car at Park & Ride 5pm: Grocery pickup (1-2x per week) 5:30pm: Arrive home 5:30-6:30pm: Misc. household chores or hobby if working on a project. 6:30-8pm: Movie or show with hubby (dinner was a banana in the car on the way home) 8pm-3am: Sleep Weekends: making individual portions of meals that can freeze for lunches + a weeks worth of smoothies (that can freeze) and overnight oats for breakfasts.
if you budget your time (formally or informally) the way you budget your money (something few people do, unfortunately), you'll find you can have it all
Not to mention that you are in the USA ! and SO afraid of Socialism, which would make your conditions at work and your pay rates better. If you keep on voting in plutocrats then stop whingeing about living in a plutocrocay
Stop bitching. The Workers fought long and hard t to get a 40 hour week, https://www.businessinsider.com.au/history-of-the-40-hour-workweek-2015-10?r=US&IR=T
I’m about to make a lot of people mad. I work in a factory. The average week is 48 hours and most weeks are 56. We only work 8 hours on Friday and usually have the weekends off. I do grocery pickup on Fridays, meal prep for the week on Sunday afternoons, and do housework before and after work. I also spend a little time each day ( usually 30 minutes to an hour ) with a hobby. Saturday I relax and catch up with friends and family. If I can do this with mandatory overtime, I don’t know why people are whining over 40 hours.
When i lived by myself i worked two fulltime jobs and kept apartment clean plus went out with friends. It's once you add in a significant other and kids that it gets hard. Obviously cleaning is first to go, its much more important for mental health to spend time with loved ones then pick up clutter over n over. Just wish i had the energy i used to.
The sheer arrogance of the modern, developed world is staggering. If you went back to just prior to the industrial revolution, the reality for the vast majority was unending backbreaking work in an effort not to starve, or freeze, literally. Holidays were unheard of, basic jobs that we can do without thinking were hours of drudgery: laundry for example. In other words, give all your imagined hardship a rest and thank your lucky stars that we live in this era!
The fact there's people in a worse situation than yours does not make your problems less valuable. Sure, a 4th stadium cancer is worse than, let's say, endometriosis; but having endometriosis still sucks, and it should not being minimized just because it's not f*****g terminal cancer!
Load More Replies... So I run two jobs, work most nights to 11, BUT I do manage to find time for relationships - mostly friday nights. Kids take a fair bit of time, and you do have to have a partner who shares that load. Cleaning is simply a lost cause, take clothes to a laundromat and let someone else sort that. Of course, money helps that issue. Without money it wouldn't be feasible and relationships would be cut. So yeah, unless your hobby _is_ your job, it's not feasible to do all four.
I'm almost thinking the key factor is children. I work 40 hours a week. I cook from scratch 5-6 days a week for me and hubby. I do probably more than my share of the chores. I phone my parents once a week, and chat with my friends (we're not at socialising again yet, but substitute online chat with visiting with for pre-pandemic habits) at least once a week. And I enjoy playing video games, doing embroidery, watching Netflix (but I don't *binge* watch - one episode and done) and I've even squeezed in studying for a professional qualification this past 12 months. And, actual sleeping patterns aside, I'm in bed, head on pillow for 7.5 hours a night. What are the people who are complaining doing so differently? Where are their priorities so different than mine that makes them feel like they're failing? (Note - if they're working two jobs, and therefore more than 40 hours including commute times, that's a totally different issue)
Have you done some exercise lately? Health checks? Dentist? Do you own a pet? Have yo to take daily care of someone else who is cronically sick? Do you have a cronic excruciating illness or disability? Had you ever have to cope with mental issues, domestic violence, legal problems, eviction, have you or your partner, or both, suddenly become jobless and unable to find a new job, or unable to work anymore? Had you have to close your only work source due to the pandemic lockdown? Had you never have to pay health debts becuse your insurance won't pay? Had you been ill or had an accident without having health insurance? Had a natural disaster never happened to you? Had you have to leave your country because of war, famine, dictatorship goverment, narcotraffic violence, terrorism, religious persecution, genocide? Maybe you can have a couple ideas why people may had different priorities. Or why they are doing something "wrong" And I'm not even thinking about having children...
Load More Replies... When you have little people cleaning as you go is a full time job. lol
Load More Replies... Not a millennial but your statements not accurate. There's no way one person can get everything done just by themselves. 8 hours of sleep is necessary or you're sacrificing your health. A clean house isn't worth it. We need other people, and the cost of surviving is too damn high.
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