It's one of those Twitter threads you can spend the afternoon on. Recently, writer/editor @cottoncandaddy told her 100K followers about her date who was so clueless in the kitchen, he couldn't have cooked even if he was starving. Her tweet immediately went viral and has already accumulated nearly 290K likes. However, the best part isn't the reactions. It's the cooking fails in the comments. People have been telling stories about the worst food fails they've encountered and they're hilarious. From mistaking every ingredient in the fridge to not being able to follow basic instructions, these poor folks' attempts at cooking food will make you feel like a Michelin-star chef.

#1

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

fatfuck_boone Report

Susan
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup. There's something not right about that boy.

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If you don't want your friends to include your funny stories in a similar thread, there are some easy cooking tips that can improve your skills straight away. According to Fine Cooking, the first thing you can do is choke up on your chef's knife, "or better control, choke up on the handle to the point of putting your thumb and the side of your index finger onto the side of the blade right above the handle. Speaking of chef’s knives, invest in a good one (and keep it sharp). The longer, wider blade of a chef’s knife will give you speed, control, and confidence," the magazine wrote.

#2

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

GnomeSloth Report

varwenea
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm busting out laughing! Too funny.

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The next kitchen hack is to start your dishes with the best ingredients you can get. For example, imported Parmigiano-Reggiano is way better than domestic parmesan. In fact, you can hardly compare the two. Or if you're baking a cake, premium chocolate makes all the difference and fresh homemade breadcrumbs are superior to packaged crumbs by miles. You get the idea.

#3

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

VivienaNaDne Report

Andrew Gibb
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I voted you up because there are just as many terrible woman cooks as men ones

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Now that you've got the good stuff, another life hack is to use your hands. "Hands are extremely sensitive and sophisticated cooking tools," the experts said. "You can develop this sense of touch by paying attention to how different foods feel at different degrees of doneness, even as you’re checking them with a thermometer, a toothpick, or a knife. Meat, for example, goes from being very soft when it’s rare to quite firm when well done. Touch can also indicate when a cake is baked, if dough is kneaded enough, and whether a pear is ripe."

A great way to instantly elevate your dishes to another level is by switching to kosher or sea salt. Kosher salt and sea salt have a much, much better flavor than ordinary table salt. Though food shouldn’t taste salty, falling on the other side of the spectrum and using little or no salt makes food boring.

Also, pick recipes that use descriptive words. Like, "bake until golden brown" or "boil until reduced by half." Don’t freak out if the actual amount of time it takes to reach the desired state is more or less than the time suggested in the recipe.

Cooking is a never-ending journey, full of ups and downs. Focus on the journey, not the setbacks. Take everything as a learning experience, apply yourself, and always. taste. throughout. the. process.

#6

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Zoe_King_ Report

Ivo H
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hehe, reminds me of skutters from red dwarf :)

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#7

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

SirPhobos Report

#8

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

kaylamarino7 Report

#11

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

BlancheVerlie Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An engineer failing at the basic concept of stability is frightening.

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#12

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

HelenHuntingdon Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In fairness you can get rye, oat, barley, chick pea and rice flours too

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#13

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Katharine_Mckee Report

varwenea
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's disgusting! A person can get seriously ill eating raw pork.

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#18

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

AmberBenson Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in fairness purple cauliflower doesn't often require ER treatment. Being an expert in one thing DOES NOT make you an expert in unrelated fields

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#19

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

pinkbrucebanner Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he did this on purpose in order to never ever get asked again.

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#21

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

AramishMans213 Report

Aaron W
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have loved to see the looks on your family's faces.

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#22

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

tinygaymoonfae Report

#25

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

CRHinCA Report

#26

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

FinchyKait Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm always thankful that our recipes are metric. The main ingredients are measured in grams or millilitres.

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#27

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

cottoncandaddy Report

Daria Z
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is it related to him being a straight man?..

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#28

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

MorselAztheSpaz Report

Anne
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

of course he is your fiancé now.. he proved he was not a vampire!

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#30

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

qtkits Report

LilicatUK
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes happened to me too. Overcooked pasta, no sauce (or butter, or olive oil, not even even a pinch of salt!). I'm Italian and all my dead relatives were spinning in their graves

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Note: this post originally had 55 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.