It's one of those Twitter threads you can spend the afternoon on. Recently, writer/editor @cottoncandaddy told her 100K followers about her date who was so clueless in the kitchen, he couldn't have cooked even if he was starving. Her tweet immediately went viral and has already accumulated nearly 290K likes. However, the best part isn't the reactions. It's the cooking fails in the comments. People have been telling stories about the worst food fails they've encountered and they're hilarious. From mistaking every ingredient in the fridge to not being able to follow basic instructions, these poor folks' attempts at cooking food will make you feel like a Michelin-star chef.

#1

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

fatfuck_boone Report

Susan
Community Member
8 months ago

Yup. There's something not right about that boy.

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If you don't want your friends to include your funny stories in a similar thread, there are some easy cooking tips that can improve your skills straight away. According to Fine Cooking, the first thing you can do is choke up on your chef's knife, "or better control, choke up on the handle to the point of putting your thumb and the side of your index finger onto the side of the blade right above the handle. Speaking of chef’s knives, invest in a good one (and keep it sharp). The longer, wider blade of a chef’s knife will give you speed, control, and confidence," the magazine wrote.

#2

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

GnomeSloth Report

varwenea
Community Member
8 months ago

I'm busting out laughing! Too funny.

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The next kitchen hack is to start your dishes with the best ingredients you can get. For example, imported Parmigiano-Reggiano is way better than domestic parmesan. In fact, you can hardly compare the two. Or if you're baking a cake, premium chocolate makes all the difference and fresh homemade breadcrumbs are superior to packaged crumbs by miles. You get the idea.

#3

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

VivienaNaDne Report

Andrew Gibb
Community Member
8 months ago

I voted you up because there are just as many terrible woman cooks as men ones

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Now that you've got the good stuff, another life hack is to use your hands. "Hands are extremely sensitive and sophisticated cooking tools," the experts said. "You can develop this sense of touch by paying attention to how different foods feel at different degrees of doneness, even as you’re checking them with a thermometer, a toothpick, or a knife. Meat, for example, goes from being very soft when it’s rare to quite firm when well done. Touch can also indicate when a cake is baked, if dough is kneaded enough, and whether a pear is ripe."

#4

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

hess_natalie Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
8 months ago

"You had one job..."

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A great way to instantly elevate your dishes to another level is by switching to kosher or sea salt. Kosher salt and sea salt have a much, much better flavor than ordinary table salt. Though food shouldn’t taste salty, falling on the other side of the spectrum and using little or no salt makes food boring.

Also, pick recipes that use descriptive words. Like, "bake until golden brown" or "boil until reduced by half." Don’t freak out if the actual amount of time it takes to reach the desired state is more or less than the time suggested in the recipe.

Cooking is a never-ending journey, full of ups and downs. Focus on the journey, not the setbacks. Take everything as a learning experience, apply yourself, and always. taste. throughout. the. process.

#5

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

erika_szostak Report

Susan
Community Member
8 months ago

You in danger girl.

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#6

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Zoe_King_ Report

Ivo H
Community Member
8 months ago

Hehe, reminds me of skutters from red dwarf :)

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#7

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

SirPhobos Report

DaVo
Community Member
8 months ago

Maybe she meant 'infamous'.

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#8

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

kaylamarino7 Report

Daniel Lewis
Community Member
8 months ago

He was half right.

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#9

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

zang808 Report

Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
8 months ago

It's a logical interpretation.

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#10

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

eleanorfights Report

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
8 months ago

Was he watching SAW.

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#11

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

BlancheVerlie Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
8 months ago

An engineer failing at the basic concept of stability is frightening.

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#12

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

HelenHuntingdon Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
8 months ago

In fairness you can get rye, oat, barley, chick pea and rice flours too

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#13

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Katharine_Mckee Report

varwenea
Community Member
8 months ago

That's disgusting! A person can get seriously ill eating raw pork.

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#14

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Katharine_Mckee Report

Joran Quinten
Community Member
8 months ago

I, on the other hand, like my bread well done

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#15

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

GumbyGrrl Report

Daniel Lewis
Community Member
8 months ago

A great recipe for kidney failure.

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#16

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

BigInJapan__ Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
8 months ago

At least they were clean

Human #1,232,867
Community Member
8 months ago

With the amount of pesticides, it may actually not being so wrong

Ivy D
Community Member
8 months ago

I guarantee you aren't from the first two million humans

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Alex K
Community Member
8 months ago

nothing wrong with that, if you wanna eat them with the skin

Vic
Community Member
8 months ago

Good heavens! Detergent and sponge! Don't you guys have a dishwasher?

Bobby's Girl
Community Member
8 months ago

Hahaha! Funny XD

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varwenea
Community Member
8 months ago

Sounds like something my husband would have done during our early years together.

Jasmina Pavlovic
Community Member
8 months ago

OMG ... hahaha ... bleached potatoes. Cleaner as clean. 🤣

Caitlin Youngquist
Community Member
8 months ago

My grandmother always washed potatoes like this. And then she'd push giant nails through them before baking.

Cindy Crowell
Community Member
8 months ago

I want to know more about this

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Vinniegret
Community Member
8 months ago

Hey! I'm an accomplished cook and I have done that. On purpose.

Ice cube
Community Member
8 months ago

he must be a clean freak;-;

Tracy Blankenbaker
Community Member
8 months ago

Should be fine if you rinse them off good.. I mean we eat on dishes we wash with soap and water... and normally you would peel potatoes...

స్టీఫెన్ ఆండ్రూ
Community Member
8 months ago

Sponge, sure. Detergent, no.

Not what you think.
Community Member
8 months ago

Sponge, sure as long as its not a used dish sponge.

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chi-wei shen
Community Member
8 months ago

He put a lot of effort in his task.

Analyn Lahr
Community Member
8 months ago

Somebody's parent or guardian didn't teach him right.

Kjorn
Community Member
8 months ago

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this is just seem made up. looks like a scen from any 80's sitcom or movie with a stay at home dad

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#17

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

Katharine_Mckee Report

Susan
Community Member
8 months ago

FFS.

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#18

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

AmberBenson Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
8 months ago

in fairness purple cauliflower doesn't often require ER treatment. Being an expert in one thing DOES NOT make you an expert in unrelated fields

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#19

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

pinkbrucebanner Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
8 months ago

Maybe he did this on purpose in order to never ever get asked again.

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#20

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

sl0loris Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
8 months ago

Vampire proof recipe----

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#21

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

AramishMans213 Report

Aaron W
Community Member
8 months ago

I would have loved to see the looks on your family's faces.

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#22

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

tinygaymoonfae Report

Susan
Community Member
8 months ago

Are people like this aliens in disguise?

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#23

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

craypantslover Report

mummy pig
Community Member
8 months ago

Atleast he's learning

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#24

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

arianamarquis Report

Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki
Community Member
8 months ago

Have him try mango next time.

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#25

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

CRHinCA Report

Susan
Community Member
8 months ago

I wonder the same thing.

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#26

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

FinchyKait Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
8 months ago

I'm always thankful that our recipes are metric. The main ingredients are measured in grams or millilitres.

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#27

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

cottoncandaddy Report

Daria Z
Community Member
8 months ago

How is it related to him being a straight man?..

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#28

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

MorselAztheSpaz Report

Anne
Community Member
8 months ago

of course he is your fiancé now.. he proved he was not a vampire!

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#29

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

SydneyHuppert Report

Gabi
Community Member
8 months ago

No wonder he's an ex.

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#30

Partners-Cooking-Instructions-Fail

qtkits Report

LilicatUK
Community Member
8 months ago

Yes happened to me too. Overcooked pasta, no sauce (or butter, or olive oil, not even even a pinch of salt!). I'm Italian and all my dead relatives were spinning in their graves

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Note: this post originally had 55 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

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