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It's one of those Twitter threads you can spend the afternoon on. Recently, writer/editor @cottoncandaddy told her 100K followers about her date who was so clueless in the kitchen, he couldn't have cooked even if he was starving. Her tweet immediately went viral and has already accumulated nearly 290K likes. However, the best part isn't the reactions. It's the cooking fails in the comments. People have been telling stories about the worst food fails they've encountered and they're hilarious. From mistaking every ingredient in the fridge to not being able to follow basic instructions, these poor folks' attempts at cooking food will make you feel like a Michelin-star chef.

If you don't want your friends to include your funny stories in a similar thread, there are some easy cooking tips that can improve your skills straight away. According to Fine Cooking, the first thing you can do is choke up on your chef's knife, "or better control, choke up on the handle to the point of putting your thumb and the side of your index finger onto the side of the blade right above the handle. Speaking of chef’s knives, invest in a good one (and keep it sharp). The longer, wider blade of a chef’s knife will give you speed, control, and confidence," the magazine wrote.

The next kitchen hack is to start your dishes with the best ingredients you can get. For example, imported Parmigiano-Reggiano is way better than domestic parmesan. In fact, you can hardly compare the two. Or if you're baking a cake, premium chocolate makes all the difference and fresh homemade breadcrumbs are superior to packaged crumbs by miles. You get the idea.

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Andrew Gibb
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I voted you up because there are just as many terrible woman cooks as men ones

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Now that you've got the good stuff, another life hack is to use your hands. "Hands are extremely sensitive and sophisticated cooking tools," the experts said. "You can develop this sense of touch by paying attention to how different foods feel at different degrees of doneness, even as you’re checking them with a thermometer, a toothpick, or a knife. Meat, for example, goes from being very soft when it’s rare to quite firm when well done. Touch can also indicate when a cake is baked, if dough is kneaded enough, and whether a pear is ripe."

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A great way to instantly elevate your dishes to another level is by switching to kosher or sea salt. Kosher salt and sea salt have a much, much better flavor than ordinary table salt. Though food shouldn’t taste salty, falling on the other side of the spectrum and using little or no salt makes food boring.

Also, pick recipes that use descriptive words. Like, "bake until golden brown" or "boil until reduced by half." Don’t freak out if the actual amount of time it takes to reach the desired state is more or less than the time suggested in the recipe.

Cooking is a never-ending journey, full of ups and downs. Focus on the journey, not the setbacks. Take everything as a learning experience, apply yourself, and always. taste. throughout. the. process.

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Samantha Lomb
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

in fairness purple cauliflower doesn't often require ER treatment. Being an expert in one thing DOES NOT make you an expert in unrelated fields

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#19

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chi-wei shen
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he did this on purpose in order to never ever get asked again.

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Dynein
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feigning incompetence in order to never be asked to do the work again is a sad pattern found on every relationship advice site. Don't let people get away with that, folks. The fact that cleaning ought to result in an object being CLEAN is not some deep mystery - don't let people get away with pretending it is! Call them out on their s**t and don't do their job for them. It only allows them to continue.

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Jon S.
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been married 10 years. Still not quite managed to teach my wife to do the dishes properly. Gave up and got a dishwasher instead. (For the record, we agreed when we married that I would do all the cooking and she would wash all the dishes, in case this sounds like I am incapable of doing the washing myself)

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Cindy Crowell
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an ex who would only wash THE FRONT SIDE of the dishes. 9__9

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Imelikoledvõi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the first year of uni i witnessed this and worse. Many times and by both sexes. Some people are just taken care of by mummy every day until they leave the nest.

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Dilly Millandry
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Which is mummy and daddy doing a poor job. Supposed to be preparing people to live independently - to cope with life. Not be a danger to society by breeding bacteria in the kitchen.

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Erin
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend and her family washed dishes by dunking them in soapy water and them drying them with a towel. No scrubbing, no rinsing. Scrape the plate, quick dunk in soapy water, wipe with a towel and put them in the cabinet. Her dad said it saved water.

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toldyouso
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex boyfriend didn't even had a sponge and soap for dishes. Always wondered how he cleaned it with his roommate

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lolliegag69
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex-boyfriend would go to the bathroom and get the towel that he had dried his b******e off with and then dry his dishes. I was stunned. I think that is the only towel that he owned. I still gag just typing it.

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chi-wei shen
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm always thankful that our recipes are metric. The main ingredients are measured in grams or millilitres.

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#28

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Anne
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

of course he is your fiancé now.. he proved he was not a vampire!

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#30

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LilicatUK
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes happened to me too. Overcooked pasta, no sauce (or butter, or olive oil, not even even a pinch of salt!). I'm Italian and all my dead relatives were spinning in their graves

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