Grandma Refuses To Acknowledge Her First Grandchild As Family Because He’s Named After A Video Game Character
Dutch van der Linde. Uncle. There are quite a few names in the Red Dead Redemption 2 video game that would make terrible actual baby names. However, Redditor u/Bloofykins8675309 and his partner picked one that both sounds good and doesn’t have any negative connotations.
But when word got out and his mom — the baby’s grandma — learned about it, she was livid. Not only does the grannie believe it’s ridiculous to give this honor to a fictional character, but she also had something in mind herself and decided to stand by her opinion even if it means destroying the relationship she has with her son and his family.
Not sure what to make of it, u/Bloofykins8675309 made a post on Reddit, asking if he was the jerk in the situation or not.
Image credits: pjjones (not the actual photo)
Image credits: rockstargames
Image credits: Bloofykins8675309
Red Dead Redemption 2’s Arthur Morgan is a hard man. He kills, he steals. But determining whether or not he’s a bad person is quite difficult. Even impossible if you haven’t played the game.
When he’s not chasing bounties or running from the law, he can be found providing his crew with much-needed supplies such as ammunition and food.
He’s often the mediator between disputing gang members as well. If he’s not involved with them directly, that is. But he’s quite reasonable. Arthur can put the solidarity of the camp before his own pride. Family comes first, and the gunslingers, runaways, and outcasts he lives with are the closest thing to family the man has.
Arthur cannot be bought or intimidated. Regardless of his enemy’s size, strength, wealth, or power. Confident in his ability to handle any situation and overcome any adversary, Arthur rarely shows any hesitation and will engage in combat even when outnumbered.
But after the smoke from his gun barrels settles, Arthur clearly understands that his behavior can sometimes be morally wrong. Though he justifies his actions saying he’s different from most criminals (Arthur genuinely believes he can help people), as time goes on, he questions this philosophy more and more.
There are definitely plenty of reasons why someone like Arthur Morgan can make a lasting impression on you.
People think that grandma is way out of line
Momma is being a big old drama queen about the baby's name! For heaven's sake don't change the baby's name because of the dramatics, I mean she's having a fine old time and you might was well let her have her fun, but you do NOT want to ever give in to these tactics. If you do, it'll be the same over every tiny little thing, down to the brand of toilet paper you buy.
Her freakout kind of tainted the name, too. If it were me, if I then caved because she got furious, yelled at me, and threatened to never see my child, that name would always remind me of that massively negative experience and what an unstable, over-controlling woman she is.
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Their baby their choice. My husband is an Arab and I’m white. I’m choosing an Arabic first name and English/family middle name. At first I did get some pushback, but when I explained the reasoning that my child will be mixed so I wanted a mixed name they shut up about it. This scenario? An uncle he never knew and a story that ties him and his wife together. Even after explaining the why on the name she still doesn’t budge? Why don’t she just adopt a dog and name him after the brother? I mean it’s their baby she needs to back off or she’ll never know her grandchild
My kids are Korean and White. We also went with mixed names to reflect their heritage ❤️
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Not just advocate for yourselves as parents but mostly for your son. There will be million things you have to defend or simply state and stand your ground. Momma has some issues and needs to be put in her place. Never force relatives' names on somebody's child. All the best to Arthur Morgan. May he have a happy and healthy life.
My father tried to name all of us kids with names that started with a "D" to honor his mother, Dorothy. I was supposed to be Dawn. But when I was born, my father was on a job in another state so my mother got to decide what my name would be. Thanks mom! It's their child, their choice. G-ma needs to stay out of it.
I have a friend named Dawn. Everyone thinks you're saying Don no matter what. How many times you have to say 'like dusk til dawn'! Your mom was wise, Carol!
Load More Replies... Why didn’t the grandma name her own kids after the dead uncle if it was so important?
NTA. Your child, your parenting, your choice. If you would name your son a ridiculous ficitional name, a defensive hint to future ramifications for the child might be warranted for people you have a strong, trusted relationship with, but clearly nothing beyond that. Projected expectations, being expected to make up for something, and being compared to others are poison for small children – if this starts before they are even born, it ought to be stopped with force.
The grandmother's obsession with the name is a big red flag to me, too. Will she insist that her grandson be the reincarnation of her brother instead of his own person? Is she trying to compensate for something, such as guilt? Rejecting an innocent child because of his name is a huge over-reaction. I hope it's an idle threat on her part. Otherwise, she needs counseling. She can miss her brother forever (there are people we all miss) and be disappointed with the chosen names, but she can't make a child a target of her rage and grief.
Load More Replies... I don't think this has anything to do with Grandma wanting to honor her dead brother. Some mothers have a really hard time accepting the fact that they no longer have the power to control their adult children's decisions. I went through this with my own mother. Even into my 30s and 40s, she would demand that I do a certain thing, and she'd use various threats (refusal to visit, cutting me out of her will, etc.) to get her way. When the threats didn't work, there would be major drama, tears, angry letters, and accusations. Sometimes family members sided with her, because her demands were over something relatively petty, and they felt I should just give in to keep the peace. But I'm still glad I refused to cave to those tactics. Although it took a long time, she eventually learned she had to respect those boundaries. If I hadn't kept them, I'd still be letting her run my life in my middle age.
Just get a puppy and name it after the uncle, then there is no way you can name the kid after the uncle otherwise both will come running when you yell the Robert John and that will just be a mess ;)
In my culture, it's common to name your child after their parent. My father grew up with 3 Alice's. Apparently, it was quite fun. :D Sadly, my name is different, but if I ever have a daughter I'll probably name her Alice.
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I wanted to name my first child Mario Sonic, but the missis said no. (Jk)
My parents tried to pull the same s*** on me. I was going to name my son Steven Richard after an uncle who passed away when he was 7 and my brother who passed away when he was 4. My parents insisted I name my son after my brother and only my brother. His name was Richard Joseph Junior. To piss them off entirely I named my son Kevin Andrew and if they didn't like it oh well.
If she hasn't honoured your uncle by keeping his memory alive, bringing him up regularly, talking about him, etc ---and she clearly hasn't, as there's just a vague notion of "there was her brother who died when I was a toddler"-- then why should she expect you to do it? That's just weird.
If Mom had no other children after her brother’s death, she may still be mourning the chance to honor her sibling’s memory by giving his name to one of her own children. Unfortunately, grandma-to-be, that’s the breaks, and you are way, way overstepping your bounds now. Leave your son and daughter-in-law alone and think of your new grandson as the one who first made your brother (yes, even posthumously) a great-uncle.
There are other ways to honour someone. Someone named a toad after me. He found it in a parking lot. We ended up releasing Viviane the Toad in a park, under some dead leaves. I was impressed that my namesake immediately started digging for extra shelter from a coming storm.
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My in laws didn't want me to name my child Roland after my favorite character in a book if I had a son. They were so dead set against it. I had daughters so it didn't matter. My daughter loves the name says she's using it if she has a son
I names my son after one of my favourite characters in a book series. It's quite a normal name (Nothing like Khaleesi or Hagrid lol) so most people are none the wiser. I had two boy names and two girl names ready from the same series.
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When my sister was pregnant with her second child she was adamant that she was going to call it Dualta (pronounced Doolta it's Irish meaning the dark one) if it was a boy after a character in one of her favourite books. NOBODY liked that name. But good for her she stuck to her guns and now 25 years later Dualta is a gorgeous young man and we couldn't imagine him being called any thing else. Arthur Morgan is a great name. I am not familiar with the character as I am not a gamer but stick to your choice. After all he is your child.
There is a very clear biological an social hirarchy: the second family comes before the first one. First your spouse and children, then your parents. If it's the other way around, it's dysfunctional and causes endless conflicts. It baffles me that so many grandparents think they still rule the roast.
I bet as soon as the grandmother sees her grandson for the first time she'll forget this argument ever happened.
Please do not name your child for a dead family member. The expectations to be similar... Not mine to bear, but it annoys me nonetheless. Plant a tree and put a memory plaque on it or something. Leave babies out of your neuroses, please!
I have no idea why anyone would think they have any right to advice on what a parent names a child. Seems like the Grandmother is picking a video game character over her own flesh and blood. That is her choice. If that is the hill she wants to die on, then let her. I don't agree that family is the most important thing. If you have family that is like that, then I feel it is best your children don't associate with them. I have a very racist mother and the last thing I ever told her 5 years ago was that my children will never know her name. I meant it. Why would I want a woman in my life who feels being a bigot is more important than having a relationship with me or my child? The choice is on them. Sure being a racist is a bit more of an issue then throwing a tantrum over a name but still. She will get over it, sounds like she is just behaving like a child to get her way, she is pouting and will let it go if you ignore her. Treat her like you would a toddler, good practice.
The wife put the problem in a nutshell: Stand your ground or you'll be compromising for the rest of your life to satisfy strangers who want to control every aspect of your life.
Name inspirations come from everywhere. My daughter's name is Penelope, I tell people all about Penelope the noble wife of Odysseus etc etc etc, but the truth is, it's from Lady Penelope from The Thunderbirds, a show I loved as a kid, and I even had a guinea pig named Penelope when I was 8.
“…had a brother that died when I was a year old… pressure to name after him…” that right there is where it all fell apart. It’s clearly too difficult for her to leave the past where it is. Therapy is really what she needs. But being an asshole isn’t part of it. She inserted her opinion but you didn’t go for it. There are consequences.
I don't think it's the name that is the problem, more that she is fixated on the fact that it's a character from a video game. If they had told her that we've decided on that name and she hadn't known about the video game it would probable ok. The child will not be able to replace her loss of a brother, it would be nicer if she would find other ways to remember her brother. Imagine fining out in your teens that you got your name because grandma was bitching about not wanting to see you if you didn't have that name, way to destroy a relationship.
Ask grandma to change her own name to honor her dead son. Sorry, the decision is not hers to make. End of story.
I get why she's upset, she feels disrespected. But I don't understand wanting to "honor" a dead person by naming some else their name. That's really creepy
As far video-game related names go, Arthur Morgan is a good one. As the post above said, it's not like the parents named their kid Sonic the Hedgehog or Donkey Kong. I think Grandma never got over losing her brother, and thinks that giving her grandchild his name will somehow bring him back.
Brother. She didn't lose a son, she lost her brother when OP was one.
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I named my youngest some after William Wallace and Alexander the Great.
This is way over the top on grandma's part. You never knew him, so why would her brother's name enter into the choices? He's your child. You get to decide his name. It's not like they're weird names. It's also your business as to why you chose those names. I'd be very surprised if this kind of behavior on her part came out of the blue though. Do not give in. It will be a set up of her always trying to run how you raise him. With that I forsee every issue that comes up, and they do, she will berate you about how you're handling things if you don't do things her way. When one is a child, sometimes the reason for a decision your parent may make is basically because "Im the parent , and you're not." What goes around comes around. On this, it's because you're now the parents and she's not. It's her selfish choice to walk away from her own grandchild. She's going to end up coming out on the losing end on that.
My mom didn't like Nolan, the name we picked for our youngest. She wanted a Biblical name, so we told her we were naming him Legion, after the verse in the Bible where Jesus asks the demon possessed man what his name was. She was ok with Nolan after that.
It would be so cool to have a grandson named Arthur Morgan there are so many grandma nick names to make out of that! Artiemo, morgiepoo, Artiepants, oh the happiness! Lol
Arthur was a name before video games. King Arthur was another. LOL!
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What an absolutely fuckwitted reason for rejecting a grandchild. I hope she gets over it.
Why didn't she name one of her 2 sons after her brother if she cares so much?!
Considering in Mom's and Grandmom's eras, a LOT of children were names after movie and radio stars. She has the problem, not you. LOVE THE NAME! And every time you speak it, you will have an even more special connection!
I think that is perfectly fine. After all, my friend is named after a Final Fantasy IV character, his name is less common than the one these parents want to name their son and his name is still pretty normal. I personally wouldn't name my kid after a video game character but it's those parents choice and it's not like it's a weird name. NTA, mom needs to let you be parents and stay out of it
Arthur Morgan is named for King Arthur and his lover Morgan Lafaye.
There are two endings here. She either forgives you and has a relationship with her grandson, or she does what she says she's going to do and she loses everything and everyone. In that case, she is the real loser here. How trivial and petty can one person get?
My mom intended to name my brother with a name she had been keeping for a while, but she lost it to my dad who wanted to name his son another name. So since we were little, she always wanted her daughters to name our future son with the name she had been saving. she mentioned that name to our pregnant cousin. when our cousin gave birth to a boy, she use that name! hahaha.. I didn't mind really, especially at that time I didn't even have a boyfriend. But mom was upset with my cousin. I tried to humor her, telling her that it is a way my cousin appreciate my mom since my cousin lost her own mom (my mom's sister), and reminding my mom that me and my sister might not even get married and have kids. fast forward 4 to 5 years later, I gave birth to a boy and have the freedom to name him any name I want.. :D
If she's the sort of person who would ignore a baby for that shallow a reason then you might not want her having a huge amount to do with the baby. At least until she gers some therapy.
Parents can name their kids whatever they want. It's their right as parents. Just try to understand that when it comes to the death of a loved one, people can be very unreasonable. I've seen families torn apart at funerals. I've known close family members who had an argument at a funeral and never spoke to each other again (kids walking out on parents, even). Something about grief sometimes makes people a bit crazier than usual.
You name your baby. Nobody else. Suggestions? Absolutley ok. One of my teachers had a name suggestion box after the gender reveal of her baby and let us give suggestions for the name. But officially naming a baby that's not yours us just wrong.
Nathan Drake, Arthur Morgan, even a brother sister pair named Chell and Atlas. We pay homage to what is important. Mom can go pound sand with her 'tude.
A Turkish couple my wife knows had this but unfortunately they relented. IIRC they wanted to call their son Ares but both families kicked off about it as it wasn't a Turkish or Muslim name. They changed it to something else but I know they regretted it. My son's first name we chose about 2 weeks before he was born, his first middle name is the name of my wife's late younger brother and his second middle name is the name of my paternal grandfather.
They should have started by telling the Grandma they were naming him "Donkey Kong". Then she would be relieved and happy to settle for it being "Arthur Morgan".
That's why I love my mother so much! She does not care at all as long as it is not illegal!
Hmm...why isn't the OP named Robert John? Does he have a brother? Is that his name? She doesn't have a problem with the name, she has a problem with control. Has the OP always given in to her emotional blackmail and never even realized it until his wife pointed it out? Using manipulation before the baby is even born is a huge red flag.
When I had my second daughter my husband and I decided on Courtney Michelle. During my whole pregnancy my Mother kept trying to get me to change Michelle to Elizabeth, which was her grandmother’s name, I continued to tell her what we had decided, and right after I had my daughter she walks into the delivery room and asks what we named her, I told her and she was so angry she turned around and walked out, without even acknowledging my brand new baby girl. I have four children I tried to give them all names they would never be embarrassed of proud to carry through life,, she was our child and it was our choice, something my mother held against me until the day she died
even if they were throwing darts at a list of names it is still up to them how they are going to name their children. the name doesnt need to be a reminder of anyone or anything. it just needs to be a nice name they both like
If she is so keen on naming a child after one that has died(something I'm not a fan of) why didn't she name one of her kids that? Arthur Morgan is pretty "normal" I don't seethe issue. My baby Granddaughter is named after a character in a tv show and it suits her perfectly.
ABSOLUTELY NTA!!! Arthur Morgan is a lovely name (if a tad ironic given the literary/mythical origins surrounding both names; i.e Camelot and Knights of the round table). About the only way you could raise my eyebrows is if you somehow worked Merlin or Mordred in there. As for your mother's behavior in regards to threatening to disown your child over this, she can leave and I hope your door knocks her ass over face on the way out.
We named three of our four kids after video game characters. No regrets. Made sure not to tell anyone the names before they were born.
If your mother would disown an innocent child to punish you and your wife then your son will be better off with her in his life. The woman is a fraud and a hypocrite, if she felt so strongly about her brothers name why did she not name her own sons after him? She raised her kids and should allow you to raise your kid. What a meddling drama queen. Believe me she won't follow through on her threat, she will be all over her 1st grandchild. Shame on her, as good parents you probably shouldn't allow her to be around your son.
If you give in to your mother on this, what's to stop her from assuming this will give her free license to take over more aspects of your son's life. Babies are winning; let Arthur handle this.
In my country (at least as far as I know), it's strange to name someone with the same name as another family member, even if dead.
Heed the wise words of your wife and ignore your mother. Simply put, she is playing bitch because she didn't get what she wanted. Besides, life is about to change so much with the new arrival that you won't have time to care or notice if she pouts or not.
Listen to your wife, ignore your mom on this subject. Simply put, she is playing bitch because she didn't get her way. Give her grandma time to the other grandparents and never miss an opportunity to how much they love and cherish time spent with little mister Arthur Morgan. Don't worry about the Queen B, life is about to get so hectic you won't even notice her pouting anyway.
That's awesome that you and your wife have the same idea, parents usually go back and forth over names. Congratulations by the way! Grandma needs to get her s**t together and stop expecting you to do what she wants!
What a horrible grandma to try and give that poor unborn child the unlucky name of someone who died young. A child growing up knowing that he's just the replacement of someone who died young, how does he ever measure up to those expectations of someone who never made mistakes because he didn't live long enough? A fictional name, though: that can be a role model or someone the kid hates, but either way it's not real, so the kid can find his own true hero or foe there without feeling guilt.
Sounds like the family dodged a bullet. I'd also talk to the older brother who just happened to 'let it slip'.
Generally parent don't like the names their children choose for their kids. it is ALL to do with what is popular. But, tell your parents (both sides) you are naming him after King Arthur or Arthur Koestler, and Morgan Freeman or Mad Dog Morgan.
My mom tried to persuade me to name my daughter after her own mother who passed away when my mom was 15. My MIL tried to persuade me to name the kid after her husband, who also passed away. I considered both options and could not see my child bearing either name, so I gave her the name I picked. (The dad - now my ex, could not care less either way.) I consider myself very fortunate that the pressure was not that much and that there was no drama.
To the people saying as long as it's a normal name. Seriously! Different cultures have different names that seem odd to some. I don't care what your name is no one should be bashing or making fun of someone's name. It shows how rude and disrespectful you are as a person to judge someone based on their name. Bullying or even saying a person might be bullied because their name is something you don't like. Is just wrong and people need to stop with that bullshit. There isn't anything wrong with naming someone whatever you like. There is something extremely wrong with people judging and making fun of another person because of their name.
She'll probably change her mind when she sees your gorgeous little bundle! Or even before. Her reaction was probably automatic. Leave her a bit of time to realize she was out of order, and that as parents, you're the decisions makers. If not, put your baby in her arms and if she doesn't melt, then you can be more harsh with her. But which Grandma will resist a grandchild? Especially if you had a good relationship with her since the beginning, it means she shouldn't be that bad. Don't be agressive or accusative, leave her some time to think by herself, and only give her little nudges.
Baby Mama is right - the time to start advocating for your son starts now! If you let Grandma pressure you into his name, what's next? What school he goes to? Medical decisions? What he wears? You get my point. This is YOUR child - it's time to parent-up to your parent. PS: I'm a gamer but never played RDR2 but my son does. It's the only game he plays that I pay attention. Arthur Morgan has my vote.
They had already been born and named when he died.
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If my (grown) kids happen to see this - you should know your father's parents tried to coerce us into THEIR choice of names for our firstborn. I was a timid mouse (20) but your father (26) was worse, very browbeaten. However he DID stand by me when I said "we'll name him S**t and you'll babysit him." I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth but I didn't take it back - and the baby turned out to be a girl.
I personally love the name and I don't care of it's from a video game. Pretty sure future grandma is just emotional right now.. she'll come around
People need to get over being upset about other people's names. Full stop. You can name a kid whatever you want. You can change your name to whatever you want. No one owns a name and it doesn't mean anything. Take it from an atheist named Faith Hope.
Personally, I think naming a child after a videogame character to be more than a little weird. However... there is nothing weird about the name. That said... I wouldn't be telling my child (or any of his future friends) that he was named after a videogame character. It's something that might best be left unsaid.
I'm with one of the comments in the article - if the name is so important to her why didn't she use it for one of her children. Instead of expecting her son and daughter in law to honour a person they never even met and who died before they were even born. If you *want* to name a child in honour of a family member I'm not saying that's stupid. I'm just saying it's stupid to expect someone to do that to honour someone that was important to you but not them.
It appears that some people read but don't "take it in." The uncle died AFTER her boys were born.
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She wouldn't even know if she hadn't been told and it's not like you're calling the kid Yoshi or anything! I love the Resident Evil games and if I ever have a son, Leon is a strong contender for name. NTA.
True story: Our cousin died in a car accident when my sister was pregnant. She wanted to use our cousin's name but suz's step-mom was pregnant also atm so my sister didn't want to step on any toes. Aunt lost the babies after my niece was born. A few years later, my sister had my niece's name changed from her baby daddy's to ours. While she did that, she added cuz's name as a middle name. So that was an option if the mom was so passionate about it. And no, the name change had never ONCE caused any issues
They want the kid's middle name to be Morgan. First name Arthur, middle name Morgan. I don't think they want the middle name to be Morgan Robert John.
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Your mother is insane and you should thank her for staying away from your child. Tell her that you will NEVER permit her near your son. I'm guessing that she has a long history of verbal abuse and manipulation of everyone around her and most of her rage is because you aren't playing her game any more.
The writer says that he's had a good relationship with his mother before this. What I read into this situation is that she has grief and trauma issues around her brother's death. I can understand telling the grandmother off. However, it just might not be in the writer's nature to burn bridges.
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Normally i'd stand with parents but i despise with passion dorks that name their poor children as a fan fic (for move/cartoon/game/celebrity). You need to grow up yourself before reproducing 🤦♀️
A very dangerous precedent. Mum will then think she can butt in and get her way all the time!
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The brother who told the future grandmother? It wasn't a great idea for him to tell her the origin of the name, but she might have found out later. Ultimately, she's the asshole for rejecting a child that isn't even born yet. She can make good on her threat and remain an asshole or she can come around and stop being an asshole.
Load More Replies... Momma is being a big old drama queen about the baby's name! For heaven's sake don't change the baby's name because of the dramatics, I mean she's having a fine old time and you might was well let her have her fun, but you do NOT want to ever give in to these tactics. If you do, it'll be the same over every tiny little thing, down to the brand of toilet paper you buy.
Her freakout kind of tainted the name, too. If it were me, if I then caved because she got furious, yelled at me, and threatened to never see my child, that name would always remind me of that massively negative experience and what an unstable, over-controlling woman she is.
Load More Replies... Their baby their choice. My husband is an Arab and I’m white. I’m choosing an Arabic first name and English/family middle name. At first I did get some pushback, but when I explained the reasoning that my child will be mixed so I wanted a mixed name they shut up about it. This scenario? An uncle he never knew and a story that ties him and his wife together. Even after explaining the why on the name she still doesn’t budge? Why don’t she just adopt a dog and name him after the brother? I mean it’s their baby she needs to back off or she’ll never know her grandchild
My kids are Korean and White. We also went with mixed names to reflect their heritage ❤️
Load More Replies... Not just advocate for yourselves as parents but mostly for your son. There will be million things you have to defend or simply state and stand your ground. Momma has some issues and needs to be put in her place. Never force relatives' names on somebody's child. All the best to Arthur Morgan. May he have a happy and healthy life.
My father tried to name all of us kids with names that started with a "D" to honor his mother, Dorothy. I was supposed to be Dawn. But when I was born, my father was on a job in another state so my mother got to decide what my name would be. Thanks mom! It's their child, their choice. G-ma needs to stay out of it.
I have a friend named Dawn. Everyone thinks you're saying Don no matter what. How many times you have to say 'like dusk til dawn'! Your mom was wise, Carol!
Load More Replies... Why didn’t the grandma name her own kids after the dead uncle if it was so important?
NTA. Your child, your parenting, your choice. If you would name your son a ridiculous ficitional name, a defensive hint to future ramifications for the child might be warranted for people you have a strong, trusted relationship with, but clearly nothing beyond that. Projected expectations, being expected to make up for something, and being compared to others are poison for small children – if this starts before they are even born, it ought to be stopped with force.
The grandmother's obsession with the name is a big red flag to me, too. Will she insist that her grandson be the reincarnation of her brother instead of his own person? Is she trying to compensate for something, such as guilt? Rejecting an innocent child because of his name is a huge over-reaction. I hope it's an idle threat on her part. Otherwise, she needs counseling. She can miss her brother forever (there are people we all miss) and be disappointed with the chosen names, but she can't make a child a target of her rage and grief.
Load More Replies... I don't think this has anything to do with Grandma wanting to honor her dead brother. Some mothers have a really hard time accepting the fact that they no longer have the power to control their adult children's decisions. I went through this with my own mother. Even into my 30s and 40s, she would demand that I do a certain thing, and she'd use various threats (refusal to visit, cutting me out of her will, etc.) to get her way. When the threats didn't work, there would be major drama, tears, angry letters, and accusations. Sometimes family members sided with her, because her demands were over something relatively petty, and they felt I should just give in to keep the peace. But I'm still glad I refused to cave to those tactics. Although it took a long time, she eventually learned she had to respect those boundaries. If I hadn't kept them, I'd still be letting her run my life in my middle age.
Just get a puppy and name it after the uncle, then there is no way you can name the kid after the uncle otherwise both will come running when you yell the Robert John and that will just be a mess ;)
In my culture, it's common to name your child after their parent. My father grew up with 3 Alice's. Apparently, it was quite fun. :D Sadly, my name is different, but if I ever have a daughter I'll probably name her Alice.
Load More Replies... I wanted to name my first child Mario Sonic, but the missis said no. (Jk)
My parents tried to pull the same s*** on me. I was going to name my son Steven Richard after an uncle who passed away when he was 7 and my brother who passed away when he was 4. My parents insisted I name my son after my brother and only my brother. His name was Richard Joseph Junior. To piss them off entirely I named my son Kevin Andrew and if they didn't like it oh well.
If she hasn't honoured your uncle by keeping his memory alive, bringing him up regularly, talking about him, etc ---and she clearly hasn't, as there's just a vague notion of "there was her brother who died when I was a toddler"-- then why should she expect you to do it? That's just weird.
If Mom had no other children after her brother’s death, she may still be mourning the chance to honor her sibling’s memory by giving his name to one of her own children. Unfortunately, grandma-to-be, that’s the breaks, and you are way, way overstepping your bounds now. Leave your son and daughter-in-law alone and think of your new grandson as the one who first made your brother (yes, even posthumously) a great-uncle.
There are other ways to honour someone. Someone named a toad after me. He found it in a parking lot. We ended up releasing Viviane the Toad in a park, under some dead leaves. I was impressed that my namesake immediately started digging for extra shelter from a coming storm.
Load More Replies... My in laws didn't want me to name my child Roland after my favorite character in a book if I had a son. They were so dead set against it. I had daughters so it didn't matter. My daughter loves the name says she's using it if she has a son
I names my son after one of my favourite characters in a book series. It's quite a normal name (Nothing like Khaleesi or Hagrid lol) so most people are none the wiser. I had two boy names and two girl names ready from the same series.
Load More Replies... When my sister was pregnant with her second child she was adamant that she was going to call it Dualta (pronounced Doolta it's Irish meaning the dark one) if it was a boy after a character in one of her favourite books. NOBODY liked that name. But good for her she stuck to her guns and now 25 years later Dualta is a gorgeous young man and we couldn't imagine him being called any thing else. Arthur Morgan is a great name. I am not familiar with the character as I am not a gamer but stick to your choice. After all he is your child.
There is a very clear biological an social hirarchy: the second family comes before the first one. First your spouse and children, then your parents. If it's the other way around, it's dysfunctional and causes endless conflicts. It baffles me that so many grandparents think they still rule the roast.
I bet as soon as the grandmother sees her grandson for the first time she'll forget this argument ever happened.
Please do not name your child for a dead family member. The expectations to be similar... Not mine to bear, but it annoys me nonetheless. Plant a tree and put a memory plaque on it or something. Leave babies out of your neuroses, please!
I have no idea why anyone would think they have any right to advice on what a parent names a child. Seems like the Grandmother is picking a video game character over her own flesh and blood. That is her choice. If that is the hill she wants to die on, then let her. I don't agree that family is the most important thing. If you have family that is like that, then I feel it is best your children don't associate with them. I have a very racist mother and the last thing I ever told her 5 years ago was that my children will never know her name. I meant it. Why would I want a woman in my life who feels being a bigot is more important than having a relationship with me or my child? The choice is on them. Sure being a racist is a bit more of an issue then throwing a tantrum over a name but still. She will get over it, sounds like she is just behaving like a child to get her way, she is pouting and will let it go if you ignore her. Treat her like you would a toddler, good practice.
The wife put the problem in a nutshell: Stand your ground or you'll be compromising for the rest of your life to satisfy strangers who want to control every aspect of your life.
Name inspirations come from everywhere. My daughter's name is Penelope, I tell people all about Penelope the noble wife of Odysseus etc etc etc, but the truth is, it's from Lady Penelope from The Thunderbirds, a show I loved as a kid, and I even had a guinea pig named Penelope when I was 8.
“…had a brother that died when I was a year old… pressure to name after him…” that right there is where it all fell apart. It’s clearly too difficult for her to leave the past where it is. Therapy is really what she needs. But being an asshole isn’t part of it. She inserted her opinion but you didn’t go for it. There are consequences.
I don't think it's the name that is the problem, more that she is fixated on the fact that it's a character from a video game. If they had told her that we've decided on that name and she hadn't known about the video game it would probable ok. The child will not be able to replace her loss of a brother, it would be nicer if she would find other ways to remember her brother. Imagine fining out in your teens that you got your name because grandma was bitching about not wanting to see you if you didn't have that name, way to destroy a relationship.
Ask grandma to change her own name to honor her dead son. Sorry, the decision is not hers to make. End of story.
I get why she's upset, she feels disrespected. But I don't understand wanting to "honor" a dead person by naming some else their name. That's really creepy
As far video-game related names go, Arthur Morgan is a good one. As the post above said, it's not like the parents named their kid Sonic the Hedgehog or Donkey Kong. I think Grandma never got over losing her brother, and thinks that giving her grandchild his name will somehow bring him back.
Brother. She didn't lose a son, she lost her brother when OP was one.
Load More Replies... I named my youngest some after William Wallace and Alexander the Great.
This is way over the top on grandma's part. You never knew him, so why would her brother's name enter into the choices? He's your child. You get to decide his name. It's not like they're weird names. It's also your business as to why you chose those names. I'd be very surprised if this kind of behavior on her part came out of the blue though. Do not give in. It will be a set up of her always trying to run how you raise him. With that I forsee every issue that comes up, and they do, she will berate you about how you're handling things if you don't do things her way. When one is a child, sometimes the reason for a decision your parent may make is basically because "Im the parent , and you're not." What goes around comes around. On this, it's because you're now the parents and she's not. It's her selfish choice to walk away from her own grandchild. She's going to end up coming out on the losing end on that.
My mom didn't like Nolan, the name we picked for our youngest. She wanted a Biblical name, so we told her we were naming him Legion, after the verse in the Bible where Jesus asks the demon possessed man what his name was. She was ok with Nolan after that.
It would be so cool to have a grandson named Arthur Morgan there are so many grandma nick names to make out of that! Artiemo, morgiepoo, Artiepants, oh the happiness! Lol
Arthur was a name before video games. King Arthur was another. LOL!
Load More Replies... What an absolutely fuckwitted reason for rejecting a grandchild. I hope she gets over it.
Why didn't she name one of her 2 sons after her brother if she cares so much?!
Considering in Mom's and Grandmom's eras, a LOT of children were names after movie and radio stars. She has the problem, not you. LOVE THE NAME! And every time you speak it, you will have an even more special connection!
I think that is perfectly fine. After all, my friend is named after a Final Fantasy IV character, his name is less common than the one these parents want to name their son and his name is still pretty normal. I personally wouldn't name my kid after a video game character but it's those parents choice and it's not like it's a weird name. NTA, mom needs to let you be parents and stay out of it
Arthur Morgan is named for King Arthur and his lover Morgan Lafaye.
There are two endings here. She either forgives you and has a relationship with her grandson, or she does what she says she's going to do and she loses everything and everyone. In that case, she is the real loser here. How trivial and petty can one person get?
My mom intended to name my brother with a name she had been keeping for a while, but she lost it to my dad who wanted to name his son another name. So since we were little, she always wanted her daughters to name our future son with the name she had been saving. she mentioned that name to our pregnant cousin. when our cousin gave birth to a boy, she use that name! hahaha.. I didn't mind really, especially at that time I didn't even have a boyfriend. But mom was upset with my cousin. I tried to humor her, telling her that it is a way my cousin appreciate my mom since my cousin lost her own mom (my mom's sister), and reminding my mom that me and my sister might not even get married and have kids. fast forward 4 to 5 years later, I gave birth to a boy and have the freedom to name him any name I want.. :D
If she's the sort of person who would ignore a baby for that shallow a reason then you might not want her having a huge amount to do with the baby. At least until she gers some therapy.
Parents can name their kids whatever they want. It's their right as parents. Just try to understand that when it comes to the death of a loved one, people can be very unreasonable. I've seen families torn apart at funerals. I've known close family members who had an argument at a funeral and never spoke to each other again (kids walking out on parents, even). Something about grief sometimes makes people a bit crazier than usual.
You name your baby. Nobody else. Suggestions? Absolutley ok. One of my teachers had a name suggestion box after the gender reveal of her baby and let us give suggestions for the name. But officially naming a baby that's not yours us just wrong.
Nathan Drake, Arthur Morgan, even a brother sister pair named Chell and Atlas. We pay homage to what is important. Mom can go pound sand with her 'tude.
A Turkish couple my wife knows had this but unfortunately they relented. IIRC they wanted to call their son Ares but both families kicked off about it as it wasn't a Turkish or Muslim name. They changed it to something else but I know they regretted it. My son's first name we chose about 2 weeks before he was born, his first middle name is the name of my wife's late younger brother and his second middle name is the name of my paternal grandfather.
They should have started by telling the Grandma they were naming him "Donkey Kong". Then she would be relieved and happy to settle for it being "Arthur Morgan".
That's why I love my mother so much! She does not care at all as long as it is not illegal!
Hmm...why isn't the OP named Robert John? Does he have a brother? Is that his name? She doesn't have a problem with the name, she has a problem with control. Has the OP always given in to her emotional blackmail and never even realized it until his wife pointed it out? Using manipulation before the baby is even born is a huge red flag.
When I had my second daughter my husband and I decided on Courtney Michelle. During my whole pregnancy my Mother kept trying to get me to change Michelle to Elizabeth, which was her grandmother’s name, I continued to tell her what we had decided, and right after I had my daughter she walks into the delivery room and asks what we named her, I told her and she was so angry she turned around and walked out, without even acknowledging my brand new baby girl. I have four children I tried to give them all names they would never be embarrassed of proud to carry through life,, she was our child and it was our choice, something my mother held against me until the day she died
even if they were throwing darts at a list of names it is still up to them how they are going to name their children. the name doesnt need to be a reminder of anyone or anything. it just needs to be a nice name they both like
If she is so keen on naming a child after one that has died(something I'm not a fan of) why didn't she name one of her kids that? Arthur Morgan is pretty "normal" I don't seethe issue. My baby Granddaughter is named after a character in a tv show and it suits her perfectly.
ABSOLUTELY NTA!!! Arthur Morgan is a lovely name (if a tad ironic given the literary/mythical origins surrounding both names; i.e Camelot and Knights of the round table). About the only way you could raise my eyebrows is if you somehow worked Merlin or Mordred in there. As for your mother's behavior in regards to threatening to disown your child over this, she can leave and I hope your door knocks her ass over face on the way out.
We named three of our four kids after video game characters. No regrets. Made sure not to tell anyone the names before they were born.
If your mother would disown an innocent child to punish you and your wife then your son will be better off with her in his life. The woman is a fraud and a hypocrite, if she felt so strongly about her brothers name why did she not name her own sons after him? She raised her kids and should allow you to raise your kid. What a meddling drama queen. Believe me she won't follow through on her threat, she will be all over her 1st grandchild. Shame on her, as good parents you probably shouldn't allow her to be around your son.
If you give in to your mother on this, what's to stop her from assuming this will give her free license to take over more aspects of your son's life. Babies are winning; let Arthur handle this.
In my country (at least as far as I know), it's strange to name someone with the same name as another family member, even if dead.
Heed the wise words of your wife and ignore your mother. Simply put, she is playing bitch because she didn't get what she wanted. Besides, life is about to change so much with the new arrival that you won't have time to care or notice if she pouts or not.
Listen to your wife, ignore your mom on this subject. Simply put, she is playing bitch because she didn't get her way. Give her grandma time to the other grandparents and never miss an opportunity to how much they love and cherish time spent with little mister Arthur Morgan. Don't worry about the Queen B, life is about to get so hectic you won't even notice her pouting anyway.
That's awesome that you and your wife have the same idea, parents usually go back and forth over names. Congratulations by the way! Grandma needs to get her s**t together and stop expecting you to do what she wants!
What a horrible grandma to try and give that poor unborn child the unlucky name of someone who died young. A child growing up knowing that he's just the replacement of someone who died young, how does he ever measure up to those expectations of someone who never made mistakes because he didn't live long enough? A fictional name, though: that can be a role model or someone the kid hates, but either way it's not real, so the kid can find his own true hero or foe there without feeling guilt.
Sounds like the family dodged a bullet. I'd also talk to the older brother who just happened to 'let it slip'.
Generally parent don't like the names their children choose for their kids. it is ALL to do with what is popular. But, tell your parents (both sides) you are naming him after King Arthur or Arthur Koestler, and Morgan Freeman or Mad Dog Morgan.
My mom tried to persuade me to name my daughter after her own mother who passed away when my mom was 15. My MIL tried to persuade me to name the kid after her husband, who also passed away. I considered both options and could not see my child bearing either name, so I gave her the name I picked. (The dad - now my ex, could not care less either way.) I consider myself very fortunate that the pressure was not that much and that there was no drama.
To the people saying as long as it's a normal name. Seriously! Different cultures have different names that seem odd to some. I don't care what your name is no one should be bashing or making fun of someone's name. It shows how rude and disrespectful you are as a person to judge someone based on their name. Bullying or even saying a person might be bullied because their name is something you don't like. Is just wrong and people need to stop with that bullshit. There isn't anything wrong with naming someone whatever you like. There is something extremely wrong with people judging and making fun of another person because of their name.
She'll probably change her mind when she sees your gorgeous little bundle! Or even before. Her reaction was probably automatic. Leave her a bit of time to realize she was out of order, and that as parents, you're the decisions makers. If not, put your baby in her arms and if she doesn't melt, then you can be more harsh with her. But which Grandma will resist a grandchild? Especially if you had a good relationship with her since the beginning, it means she shouldn't be that bad. Don't be agressive or accusative, leave her some time to think by herself, and only give her little nudges.
Baby Mama is right - the time to start advocating for your son starts now! If you let Grandma pressure you into his name, what's next? What school he goes to? Medical decisions? What he wears? You get my point. This is YOUR child - it's time to parent-up to your parent. PS: I'm a gamer but never played RDR2 but my son does. It's the only game he plays that I pay attention. Arthur Morgan has my vote.
They had already been born and named when he died.
Load More Replies... If my (grown) kids happen to see this - you should know your father's parents tried to coerce us into THEIR choice of names for our firstborn. I was a timid mouse (20) but your father (26) was worse, very browbeaten. However he DID stand by me when I said "we'll name him S**t and you'll babysit him." I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth but I didn't take it back - and the baby turned out to be a girl.
I personally love the name and I don't care of it's from a video game. Pretty sure future grandma is just emotional right now.. she'll come around
People need to get over being upset about other people's names. Full stop. You can name a kid whatever you want. You can change your name to whatever you want. No one owns a name and it doesn't mean anything. Take it from an atheist named Faith Hope.
Personally, I think naming a child after a videogame character to be more than a little weird. However... there is nothing weird about the name. That said... I wouldn't be telling my child (or any of his future friends) that he was named after a videogame character. It's something that might best be left unsaid.
I'm with one of the comments in the article - if the name is so important to her why didn't she use it for one of her children. Instead of expecting her son and daughter in law to honour a person they never even met and who died before they were even born. If you *want* to name a child in honour of a family member I'm not saying that's stupid. I'm just saying it's stupid to expect someone to do that to honour someone that was important to you but not them.
It appears that some people read but don't "take it in." The uncle died AFTER her boys were born.
Load More Replies... She wouldn't even know if she hadn't been told and it's not like you're calling the kid Yoshi or anything! I love the Resident Evil games and if I ever have a son, Leon is a strong contender for name. NTA.
True story: Our cousin died in a car accident when my sister was pregnant. She wanted to use our cousin's name but suz's step-mom was pregnant also atm so my sister didn't want to step on any toes. Aunt lost the babies after my niece was born. A few years later, my sister had my niece's name changed from her baby daddy's to ours. While she did that, she added cuz's name as a middle name. So that was an option if the mom was so passionate about it. And no, the name change had never ONCE caused any issues
They want the kid's middle name to be Morgan. First name Arthur, middle name Morgan. I don't think they want the middle name to be Morgan Robert John.
Load More Replies... Your mother is insane and you should thank her for staying away from your child. Tell her that you will NEVER permit her near your son. I'm guessing that she has a long history of verbal abuse and manipulation of everyone around her and most of her rage is because you aren't playing her game any more.
The writer says that he's had a good relationship with his mother before this. What I read into this situation is that she has grief and trauma issues around her brother's death. I can understand telling the grandmother off. However, it just might not be in the writer's nature to burn bridges.
Load More Replies... Normally i'd stand with parents but i despise with passion dorks that name their poor children as a fan fic (for move/cartoon/game/celebrity). You need to grow up yourself before reproducing 🤦♀️
A very dangerous precedent. Mum will then think she can butt in and get her way all the time!
Load More Replies... The brother who told the future grandmother? It wasn't a great idea for him to tell her the origin of the name, but she might have found out later. Ultimately, she's the asshole for rejecting a child that isn't even born yet. She can make good on her threat and remain an asshole or she can come around and stop being an asshole.
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