Kids are full of paradoxes. They’re innocent and carefree, yet somehow, they seem to know a thing or two about life. There’s always something on the tip of that expert tongue. When the right moment comes—it strikes. Beware, parents, your days are numbered and you’re about to stand trial. Meet the judge—your heavenly child.

Let’s see how it turned out for these parents who shared the not-so-welcome opinions of their beloved bambinos in this Twitter thread.

After you’re done with this roasting session, pick up those parenting karma points from the floor and give yourself a confidence boost right here. To all the fellow parent pandas out there: like Dr. Phil says, this is a safe space to talk about hard things—share your experiences in the comments, so we can toast them!

#1

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

JujuHook Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 years ago

This boy must have a very strict mom.

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#2

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UllaMeredith Report

Natasha Forchione
Community Member
2 years ago

That reminds me of the time my nephew was around 5 and saw a young picture of my mom and goes "oh wow! Look grandma took a shower!"...he could not articulate how to say she looked young..LOL

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#3

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kikuandjuju Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago

ok. Thats adorable and one of the few here not shaming a woman for not being pretty without makeup

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Bored Panda contacted Sean Duffy, an associate professor of psychology at Rutgers University, to find out why our little devils tend to point out very odd things. “We are all interested in some profound questions as to what it means to be—be being an important verb. But kids do ask the strangest questions: the universe, why does it exist? Will the sun die in my life time? Will our efforts to curb climate change really make a difference?” In fact, “children today are a lot more aware of the challenges of the future than previous generations”, says Sean Duffy. “Just imagine our fathers or grandfathers in the 1950s even considering climate change. They had their own challenges—communism, the Soviet Union—but they live in a different context than their grandparents in the 1960s.”

#4

Parents-Share-Stories-Kids-Roasting-Them

Fes_Toy Report

Hans
Community Member
2 years ago

This is very unclever. Children perceive things differently. They see beaty where we are quick to judge "ugly". You should, thus, even more believe her words.

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#5

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aubreyhirsch Report

Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago

One the mom who has makeup and brushed her hair. The other...doesn't.

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#6

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samcross47 Report

Petra Schaap
Community Member
2 years ago

hahaha omg

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Let your child discover their own challenges of existence. “Every parent must understand that they created in their children a new world. They had their own universe of morally ambiguous situations, whether it be the fall of the Berlin Wall or 9/11... every generation has to realize its own uncomfortable place in the order of things.”

It’s okay not to have the answers to all the things your child asks, because “there are no simple or easy answers to any of the myriad complex of unanswerable questions.” The professor explains that “we live in a universe of moral ambiguity and that our culture and society has provided only weak answers to existential questions.”

#7

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Desha7 Report

Hans
Community Member
2 years ago

"Sort of..."

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#8

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EhrlichLara Report

tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 years ago

Total love and acceptance. You can't ask for more than that.

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#9

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doritos4dinner Report

Hans
Community Member
2 years ago

"Doritos for dinner"

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#10

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elphaba_wins Report

Hans
Community Member
2 years ago

"Don't tell mommy!"

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#11

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twrobertsII Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
2 years ago

Savage....

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#12

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kueblerwolf Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
2 years ago

Age. son, age....

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#13

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andeesings Report

N G
Community Member
2 years ago

I still find this confusing, i make a mental note of hair style and colour. If it changes then i don't recognize them.

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#14

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solaana Report

Hans
Community Member
2 years ago

Right he is...

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#15

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Betsyberman Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 years ago

Was this the sign of an epic hangover?

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#16

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theeisforerin Report

Ronel du Plessis
Community Member
2 years ago

My mom as 38 When my twin sister and I was born. We were asked that a lot when we went to school. I actually got very upset then.

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#17

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AlisonLew Report

Carrot dude
Community Member
2 years ago

Oof, harsh.

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#18

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BitterSappho Report

Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago

This one reminds me of my brother. I wasn't born yet, so it's a family story I know, not something I remember myself. Our mom always had elegant straight long hair, then she had to cut it for health and practical reasons. My brother, who was still a baby/ toddler couldn't recognize her for a good while.

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#19

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starsih Report

Kate Storey
Community Member
2 years ago

I once had my daughter ask me very loudly why my boobs were so long when trying on bras. Much sniggering ensued from the next cubical.

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#20

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brynadamson Report

Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
2 years ago

Sounds like when my mom would get on us to clean the house. We'd always ask, "Who's coming over?"

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#21

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faunzfaunzfaunz Report

ADHORTATOR
Community Member
2 years ago

Same... but a beard

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#22

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blue_chelley Report

Cristian Hain
Community Member
2 years ago

I would love to be compared to Joaquin Phoenix

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#23

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ShamblesAndFuss Report

tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

This has more to do with the fact that kids like consistency than her actual appearance. They'd like her either way as long as she always appeared the same way. I changed my hair and my nephew screamed "no!" when he first saw me.

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#24

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Sawoodard22 Report

gellert grindlewald
Community Member
3 months ago

(enter correct sound of sympathy)

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#25

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DuchessCle Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago

I have a cat named Merida because she is brave. I lover her to bits

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#26

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LaurelFynes Report

Rick
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

This is why gender stereotypes are bad, people. This is also why insisting boys are actually girls in boys bodies because they like pink and have long hair and wear dresses is bad, people.

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#27

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lipbalmy Report

Marlene Ricker
Community Member
2 years ago

This reminds me of a time when my kids were quite young. I babysat to make extra money for the household. The lady I babysat for looked about 16. One day my son asked me why some moms look like teenagers. Fishing for a compliment, I asked him I looked like a teenager. He said "No, you look like a really mom". I didn't know if I should feel complimented or insulted! LOL

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#28

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woodsinkcom Report

Naomi Wayker
Community Member
2 years ago

oodpf

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#29

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_CFierroLopez_ Report

Robert Robi Z
Community Member
2 years ago

What I read was 'My son once looked at a picture of me with makeup...' and I went like 'Why was your son with makeup?' LOL

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#30

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bethnew Report

Suzi Gauthier
Community Member
2 years ago

Daria?

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#31

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bbmiller372 Report

Abigail Hill
Community Member
3 months ago

Junior in high school, I am a girl. I have short hair. I was wearing a dress. A sophomore I didn't know changed pronouns every time he referred to me. "She's wearing a dress... do you think he's enjoying the story? I wouldn't involve them." And the like.

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#32

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amyfigarelle Report

chidney1@aol.com
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't understand what she is saying!

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#33

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JulieZwillich Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 years ago

I can understand they left their son with the babysitter but why did she have to emphasize that he was crying as if this was somehow funny?

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