All kids are going to have their dumb moments, but it doesn't mean their parents love them any less. And while most of these instances will be silly and goofy, some of them might cross into the "I think I'm raising an idiot" realm.
One Reddit user asked parents to share the moment they realized their kid is likely not going to be a future Nobel Prize winner. Parents were eager to share the funny stories that somehow made sense in their little ones' heads. And we can't judge these kids too much — they're only using the knowledge available to them at the ripe age of however old they are to navigate the world, but we can sure thank them for their hilarious and entertaining interpretations.
The thread was wildly popular, and over 32k answers later, Bored Panda selected the most amusing anecdotes about silly kids. Scroll down, upvote your favorites, and if you've ever had an "I'm raising an idiot moment," don't hesitate to share your stories in the comments below!
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When my son was 11 years old, he confidently informed me he was pretty sure he knew everything there was to know, because he tried to think of something that he didn't know, and couldn't think of anything.
When one of my daughters tries to insult the other by telling her how ugly she is.
They’re identical twins.
Told my kid that carrots help you see in the dark, he then went into the basement with a carrot and started waving it around like a flashlight.
My 13 year old son was sniffing really hard and moving his head all around the area he was standing in. Slightly concerned he had lost his mind, I asked him what he was doing. He told me, "I farted. I'm trying to smell it all up, so you dont have to smell it." He's a thoughtful idiot.
While ineffective it wasn't stupid, no reason why in theory you couldn't suck up all of the fart particles in the air before someone else noticed them. it's literally what air filters do.
I'm the idiot kid, but when I was about 3, after preparing dinner, my mom would leave me alone in the kitchen. After I finished, I would search for some M&Ms to nibble at, knowing I wasn't allowed.
Every time after I finished, I would go over to my mom and ask her "Did you hear me eating M&Ms in the kitchen?". She would always reply yes and I would always get so frustrated, because every time I tried to be as stealthy as possible.
I never realized what blew my cover until I grew older.
My little brother did something like this. I am 15 years older than him and my mom and I took him to K-Mart. We got what we needed and we were taking him out to the car. I held his hand on one side and my mom held his hand on the other side. He sweetly looks between us and says, "I didn't steal Batman." Guess what we found stuck down his little two-year-old shirt? Not only that, we were pretty diligent with watching him and have no clue how he snuck it without getting seen. Needless to say, Batman went back.
I used to tell my kids not to take off their shoes and socks in the car, especially on short trips. Just leave them on so that we don't have to spend 5 minutes finding and putting them back on before we run into the store. Imagine a single dad with two young kids running around the car trying to re-shoe my children in the grocery store parking lot in the middle of an Arizona summer, yuck. One day we went to the store and my daughter was missing her shoe. It was nowhere to be found. "Daddy, I didn't want you to be mad that my shoe was off so I threw it out the window." Made sense to a 5-year old I guess.
One day after school my brother and i met up w my dad (he worked at the school) and the janitor and began walking to the parking lot.
We passed the elementary building and the janitor lets out a huge sign about "some punk writing their name on the facade"
My dad looks over and said "It's the same name as my kid but at least his name is spelled differently since it has a C in it"
*loud gasp*
My brother: I FORGOT THE C!!!
he was not the sharpest tool in the shed...
My partner's then 17-year old was trying to sign into his school email account but kept getting "username or password incorrect". As he was getting more and more frustrated we said "What are you signing in as?" and watched him type. After watching a couple more failed attempts we looked at each other and smiled at each other before she said "There's no E in your name". Yep, 17, and he'd been spelling his own name wrong.
My youngest son, 14! years old, when we were on a train and he was looking outside: "Mum, what are these plants?"
Me: "They are potato plants."
He: "Fries are made from potatoes, right?"
Me: "Yes, of course. You know that, we made our own, can't you remember?"
He: "They should plant fries instead. No one likes potatoes!"
He looked at me with a face that said: "I invented space and time travel, bow in front of your genius son!" I just closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
He is a site engineer now and does well in life, because everything that isn't job related is managed by his wife. She is a godsend and I try to be the best mother in law that exists, because I want her to stay with him forever!!!
When my youngest son, who was 10 at the time, was getting his ears checked at the pediatrician and they found a “foreign object” in his left ear.
Said object was a dead housefly. Because he thought sticking a fly in his ear would give him flying powers.
He had caught it and shoved it in there alive about a week prior.
My son came to our house to visit (he didn't live with us), we weren't home but we on our way home so he let himself in.
We walk in and he's freaking out about breaking our newly adopted cat or something to that effect. I asked him what was she doing, she looked fine to me. He said she was "vibrating" when she sat on his lap.
This is where he learned about cats purring. He hadn't been around a lot of cats so idk.
When I asked my 14yo if she could please bring me a piece of cake, she cut it, forgot why, then ate it.
When the Peter Pan Peanut Butter recall happened 10-12 years ago or so (due to salmonella) my then-15 year old daughter came in from school and as she was walking past the living room (tv was on) she stopped and watched the news report about the salmonella outbreak. She got this “ah-ha” lightbulb moment and said, “oh, now I get it! It’s about peanut butter! All day at school I kept hearing Peter Pan was killing people around the country and I thought he had turned bad or something and was now a villain.” I just stared at her waiting for her to say she was joking and didn’t really think Peter Pan was real, but no, she just went upstairs to her room like we just had a normal conversation about normal, every-day events.
Peter Pan doesn't need to turn evil; he totally DID kill people in the book.
My son spent 18 months of his teenage years telling people he was born in Brazil. He was born in Bristol
When my oldest was 11, I was letting him stay up with me and my roommate (he's from my first marriage, I hadn't met my wife yet and was still a messy bachelor with a kid)
So, he's 11 right. Need to be clear about this. He's 11.
We're watching Colbert Report and Stephen says something happening in Congress politics whatever is "as likely as writing legislation with Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or the Easter Bunny"
I chuckle at the dumb joke, only half paying attention. My kid sits up and says, "wait. Dad. What did he just say? What was .. can you explain that?"
I'm thinking maybe he's confused about the politics so I say these two powerful politicians aren't getting along. He says "yeah, no, right, okay .. so ... what else did he say again?"
By this point my roommate, who had been pretty much staring at his laptop, ignoring the TV and the two of us, starts watching us closely.
So I say "yeah, so that's as unlikely as meeting Santa Claus"
"Yeah??"
"Yeah, or .. the Tooth Fairy"
"Yeah??"
"Right. Or. The Easter Bunny"
"wwwWWWHHHAAAATT!!!!!????!!?!!??!?!???!!!"
My roommate let's out one small chuckle. I'm staring at him, a bit dumbfounded. Finally I ask, "buddy, did you .. still, um .. think there was a, uh .. a rabbit, who snuck into the house, and hid eggs?"
My roommate starts snickering. I'm just staring with a bewildered look. Kiddo is slumping down down down into the couch, angry teardrops welling up in his eyes. I don't know if he was embarrassed, mad at my roommate for laughing, or pissed off because he learned the Easter Bunny wasn't real in such a s****y way.
He already informed me that he knew Santa Claus was "just the parents" about oh I dunno, four years earlier? So I thought we were cool.
As I tucked him in that night, he explained "I just figured he stopped coming because I'm too old"
My dad’s moment was when I made him drive around with me because my car had been making a “thunk” noise every time I made a turn. After 15 minutes he announced it was the baseball bat in my trunk rolling around.
Daughter calls me "there is a cop behind me with his lights on. What should I do?"
When my son was disappointed by sex ed class. He thought they were going to learn some moves.
My daughter was a messy teenager who had to be told to clean her room. She had a habit of letting dishes pile up on her nightstand. We were on her a*s constantly about not letting dishes especially sports bottles of juice sit around because they ferment. Well one day the husband and I were is our bedroom and heard an explosion and our daughter scream. We ran to her room to find one of her bottles of juice had finally given in to the pressure of the fermented juice and literally blew to pieces. The explosion was so powerful the top left a hole in her ceiling and there were tiny pieces of sports bottle shrapnel everywhere. She's my smart one
once while at my grandparent's house i was in the mood for a coke , which was at the top of the freezer old , not expired and not cold. i picked one up and accidently dropped and the coke blew up. some of it hit the ceiling like 12 feet above. the top was blown off. i told my grandma and picked up another and went back to drinking it
3 year old is preparing for his bath. His underwear looks strange but I'm distracted his brother. Kid takes off one pair of underwear, then a 2nd pair, then a 3rd. I ask why he is wearing 3 pairs of underwear. Kid looks at me like I'm an idiot, "Mom told me to put on a clean pair every day".
That nonautistic kid grew up to place the highest in math in our large Midwestern city. But even in his 20's you have to make sure you give clear instructions as he will follow rules to the letter.
My dad is a truck driver, so I was the adult male figure in my kid sister's life. One day when she was around 14 or so, I took her to McDonalds for dinner and i asked her what she wanted and she said McNuggets.
I pull up to the speaker and start ordering. "Hello, I'll take an 8 piece McNuggets with a High C."
My sister quickly reminds me tell them no onions.
"I'll also take a Quarter pounder meal with a sprite"
Sister again says "no onions!"
the cashier asked will that complete your order?
sister getting mad, says "no onions!!!"
"Yes, that will be all" I say calmly and I pull forward. My sister is getting really pissed and asked "Why didnt you tell them no onions on mine?!?!?"
I look at her and say just as loudly "ON YOUR CHICKEN NUGGETS!?!?!?"
It dawned on her and she couldn't look up and show her face when I asked the cashier at the window to please make sure there are no onions on her order of McNuggets.
I asked my kids what the biggest dinosaur was and my oldest (15Y/O male) said paleontologist without skipping a beat. That's when I knew I was in trouble. Then my friend told my 10-year old that the dirt on the car tasted like candy, so he licked it. He tried to get his 6-year-old brother to do it but even he wasn't falling for it. At least 3 out of 5 kids will move out of my house eventually.
I don’t think he’s an idiot but I think he lacks common sense because he’ll take a bite of food, it will be scalding hot. He’ll cry and act like he’s dying, but won’t spit it out. He’ll say “Mommy it’s hot!!” And I’ll say “Well I told you to wait for it to cool down,” or “Then blow on it” or something to that effect. He will say no, and then continue taking scalding hot bites and crying that it’s too hot.
In his defense his father’s the same way.
Sounds like this whole scenario could be avoided if they would JUST WAIT UNTIL THE FOOD COOLS DOWN before handing it to their child that they KNOW is about to burn their mouth. Apples don't fall far from their trees in this family.
My son yelled at me from outside to come get his toy from the grass (he was standing in the driveway). When I asked why he couldn't get it himself he explained he was only wearing one shoe. When I asked why he was only wearing one shoe he replied that he could only find one sock.
He knew there was a frozen pizza in the garage but couldn't find it. Didn't even think to check the freezer.
I had my sister text my mom that she forgot her phone at home
LoL, i once looked for my mobile in the darkness with the torch of my mobile. Doh, took me a few seconds but boy did i feel stupid then.
His car battery died while be was parked at the storage unit while he was home on leave from the army.
Come to find out he had turned off the car to save gas, but had left the heat/ blowers, and seat warmers on so his girlfriend wouldn't get cold.
He's in Army Intelligence.
I’ve got myself one of those smart idiots. 4.0 middle schooler. Cannot operate a door, buckle, lock or latch even if she seen it before. Has twice caught the microwave on fire trying to make popcorn, we’re not even sure how. I don’t think she could find her way to her friends house around three corners if her life depended on it.
Hopefully she will find some sort of job near her house that requires deductive reasoning but maybe doesn’t have its own office with the key.
As everyone playing D&D or something similar knows, there is a reason why intelligence and wisdom are separate stats 🤣
"I need, like, a jacket for my legs." - said by my 13 year old who does know what pants are.
My 14 yr old soon went into a dressing room to try on 5 pairs of pants. After waiting 15 min and yelling twice into the men’s dressing room to see if was ok, he admitted he could find the shorts he had worn in. He gave me 3 pairs of the pants and still couldn’t find them. I finally had to go into the stall to look. They were balled up in the leg of one of the pair of pants. It was extremely noticeable. He swore he took his shorts off before trying on any of the pants so he didn’t think to look in them. I was speechless. He’s in the gifted and talented program in our school district.
There is a huge gap between book smart and common sense. Real intelligence is using the information to assemble a rational and logical worldview. This is how we get conspiracy theories. People think they are a genius because they can memorize large amounts of information, and they assemble the information in haphazard and sloppy manner. Memorizing the parts of a motor out of a book is easy. Actually assembling a functional engine is a whole lot harder.
My brother couldn't remember the proper name for shoes so he called them 'foot houses'. Mum confirmed that day that at least one of her teenage children was a bit doughy up top.
My daughter, at the age of 3, called them "shoes on" because when it was time to go out, that's what I told her to get.
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Just this weekend, my son lost his gaming and chatting privileges because he is really behind writing this school assignment. Anyway, I go in his room (dinner is ready) and his headphones are on his head. He gets angry and says he is only listening to music. I am like okay? He gets up and says "bye (name of his best friend)" in the mic... *facepalm*
My 26yo sister (I was 25 when my mom adopted her at birth) called me recently. Not from her phone. It had died. I got a few repeat calls from an unknown # of her/our local area code. She borrowed a strangers phone. She was lost. I asked what she meant & she said she got off at the Muni(subway) stop 1 past home stop to stop into a little shop. While she was browsing the store her phone died. She didn’t know how to get home. It’s literally our neighborhood. 2 blocks down the main street & 3 blocks up our street to the front door, passing the regular stop on the way. I was incredulous. I asked how she normally got home. She said, “Oh, I use the maps app & it connect to my (Apple) watch and it taps my wrist when it’s time to turn.” This girl navigates her entire life in SF, day or night, by adding locations into her map app & using the haptic feedback to guide her. I asked what she did before her watch/phone. She said she’s always used her phone or talk to mom while in transit.
When I was 8, I stole a pin from my mom's pin cushion. While at school I had the bright idea to poke my hand with it to see what would happen. I poked the pin all the way through. I was afraid I would get in trouble so I asked to use the bathroom and when I was in there I pulled it out and cried for a while. It wasnt until 25 years later that I finally told my mom the story.
Just this weekend, my son lost his gaming and chatting privileges because he is really behind writing this school assignment. Anyway, I go in his room (dinner is ready) and his headphones are on his head. He gets angry and says he is only listening to music. I am like okay? He gets up and says "bye (name of his best friend)" in the mic... *facepalm*
My 26yo sister (I was 25 when my mom adopted her at birth) called me recently. Not from her phone. It had died. I got a few repeat calls from an unknown # of her/our local area code. She borrowed a strangers phone. She was lost. I asked what she meant & she said she got off at the Muni(subway) stop 1 past home stop to stop into a little shop. While she was browsing the store her phone died. She didn’t know how to get home. It’s literally our neighborhood. 2 blocks down the main street & 3 blocks up our street to the front door, passing the regular stop on the way. I was incredulous. I asked how she normally got home. She said, “Oh, I use the maps app & it connect to my (Apple) watch and it taps my wrist when it’s time to turn.” This girl navigates her entire life in SF, day or night, by adding locations into her map app & using the haptic feedback to guide her. I asked what she did before her watch/phone. She said she’s always used her phone or talk to mom while in transit.
When I was 8, I stole a pin from my mom's pin cushion. While at school I had the bright idea to poke my hand with it to see what would happen. I poked the pin all the way through. I was afraid I would get in trouble so I asked to use the bathroom and when I was in there I pulled it out and cried for a while. It wasnt until 25 years later that I finally told my mom the story.
