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It's one thing to see your friends do it but quite another to live it yourself.

Recently, one Reddit user submitted a question to the platform, asking moms and dads to share the funniest things child-free people have told them about their idea of parenting. And they delivered.

From calling maternity leave "a vacation" to the classic "just sleep when the baby sleeps", here are some of the phrases that let parents know you have no clue what they're going through.

#1

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People When I was pregnant, I couldn't sleep well because every position was uncomfortable. Well, my friend said, 'You probably can't wait to give birth so you can catch up on some sleep!'

Poekienijn , Dexswaggerboy Report

Bored Panda contacted the author of the post (who wanted to remain anonymous) to learn more about what inspired them to create it in the first place. "I think I was talking to a child-free friend about working from home during lockdown and how my husband and I found it quite challenging since the day care (which we usually use) was not an option and taking care of a 2-year-old is a full-time job as is, let alone when you have your 9-to-5 job with it," they said.

#2

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People I was getting a passport for my 3-week-old daughter, and the worker said I needed to sit her up on her own, then when I told him she couldn't, he stormed off to get a manager.

ihaveabobbybaby , Kelly Sikkema Report

"She was completely shocked since she wasn't even thinking about it that way. She enjoyed working from home and was able to organize her time well, while using this whole lockdown thing to catch up on all the books she never had time to read. Then I was shocked," they added, jokingly. "It just became clear to me how our conceptions differ depending on our life choices, and I instantly remembered unsolicited pieces of advice about parenting (not from this friend), as well as some benevolent comments which clearly show how parenting really isn't one of those things you can have a preview of."

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#3

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People This one was from my ex who I should have know would be a terrible parent.

In the hospital, I just had a baby and was struggling to breast feed. I went to the washroom and when I came out my ex was feeding my newborn applesauce. FREAKING APPLESAUCE. She was only hours old and 4 weeks premature.

Also he told me that I needed to wait for my 5 month old to calm down and self sooth before I fed her her bottle because when a baby cries when they are hungry that’s how they manipulate the parents.

God I hate him.

Life_with_lemonz , Solen Feyissa Report

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Toujin C'Thlu
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm wondering what kind of scary childhood this guy had if he thinks a 5 month old is capable of manipulation.

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Naturally, the author of the post also had misconceptions about parenting when they were child-free. At least for the newborn stage. "I didn't know babies needed to learn basically everything. Like, I thought breastfeeding comes to them naturally, meaning it's not challenging for a mom at all. Then I had my daughter who literally needed to learn how to suckle."

"When I first heard about babies 'rolling onto their tummies', I didn't know that was something they needed to learn. Of course, I know they won't be able to sit, crawl, etc., but I never thought that turning your body is something that's acquired. There were many misconceptions," they explained. "I learned they weren't the case at all by having my baby."

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#4

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People When we were working on our baby registry, my husband couldn't understand the need for a stroller, saying, 'I'll just carry the babies.' What makes it even funnier is that we were having twins!

bobafettwheremc , 66150062xws Report

The Reddit user wasn't expecting that the post would get so much attention. "I didn't have the time to read all of the replies but I had more than a few good laughs and I also learned that us parents need to be there for each other. It's hard for others to understand [what we're going through], so judging each other is really counter-productive. Also, even though I've started my post by stating that it shouldn't be about how child-free people were rude (just clueless), I have received a couple of really ill-meaning comments where parents saw judgment regardless of the fact that there probably wasn't any."

I guess the bottom line is that people who had huge misconceptions about parenting expanded their horizons. And gave the Internet a good laugh. That's a win-win in my book.

#5

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People I was working from home with a 6-month-old, and it was hard trying to have conference calls and entertain her at the same time. Well, my husband said, 'Don't worry — it'll get easier when she's around 12 months old, when you can just sit her down for an hour or two with a coloring book.'

ada_grace_1010 , Charles Deluvio Report

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Anna Banana
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should get double points for not being said by a child-free person.

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#6

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People When I went on maternity leave with my third kid, my boss said, 'Enjoy your vacation.'

creaturecoat , Cparks Report

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Panda Kicki
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not completely wrong. In Sweden we have 480 days paid parental leave per kid and many save some months to go on vacation with them later. I have been on several vactions with my 3 kids while on parental leave.

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#7

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People Once, my child-free friend asked me if my 18-month-old would sleep in the next morning because it was Saturday. I laughed so hard!

bakocon , Pixabay Report

#8

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People Recently, we were visiting our friends — who are child-free by choice — and they really love my kid. When they heard my kid was into puzzles, they brought her a 1,000-piece one! She's 3 years old.

Dosed123 , Markus Spiske Report

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#9

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People When I was pregnant, one day I realized my baby hadn't moved as much as usual, so I told my friend I might need to go get checked. She replied, 'Can't you just tell the baby to move with your mind?'

Minxmallow , Candid_Shots Report

#10

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People I foolishly thought I'd have all this free time during maternity leave, and I actually suggested to my husband that it would be the perfect time for us to get a puppy because I'd have time to train it!

Chapnau , Alekon pictures Report

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#11

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People I was pregnant at the time and working in a kitchen. My general manager caught me sitting down while prepping some potatoes for service and said "It must be nice to get to laze around whenever you want". It took all of my will to not say something snarky. He did get fired 3 weeks later for a non related incident. Karma is a b**ch.

Ginger_feline0311 , distelAPPArath Report

#12

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My favorite is always, 'Just sleep when the baby sleeps.'

katykat97 , Free-Photos Report

#13

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People A thing I said before I had kids. "I feel like parenting is easier than most people make it out to be." Said to my old boss with 2 kids. She laughed so hard she almost peed herself and then put that quote on her bulletin board to remind me when I had kids.

Scotchula , pixabay Report

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wendillon avatar
Wendillon
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes it is, most of the times it's not. All depends on who the 'people' are that you're talking to.

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#14

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People We took our baby to a wedding when she was 2 months old, and they had a place setting at the table for her — complete with a full set of metal cutlery and a highchair!

whoevenc4res , Shutterbug75 Report

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WillemPenn
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, unless the newlyweds cooked and served the meal, this is more on the caterers.

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#15

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My sister visited once and scolded me for letting my children take our couch cushions off the couch to make a fort. That's the last thing I was worried about with three kids under 7 years old!

momhh434444 , willholmes Report

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What exactly should she worry about regarding a sofa fort? What business is it of sisters? I could understand if it was sister's sofa, but it's not, so, mind your own beeswax!

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#16

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People One of my relatives was always getting offended when she would call my baby to come to her and always get offended that the baby was ignoring her. The baby was 10mo., barely started walking at that point. I told my relative, "she barely knows that she is a person and has legs, she's not exactly choosing where she is stumbling to."

anjubsm , adhadimohd Report

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Javiera Gotelli
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope that relative never has kids. Or even pets. Sounds like those morons who have kids/pets and expect them to fix their self-esteem issues.

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#17

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My favorite is always when people say, 'When we have kids, it won’t change our lifestyle at all. We will just bring the kids wherever we go!'

Daddywags42 , icsilviu Report

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Anna Linkowska
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well that actually worked for me so it depends on the kid and Your lifestyle.

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#18

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People I wish it was as humorous as a lot of the stuff I’m seeing but I have been told by far too many people (mostly without kids but a few with) that because I had an emergency cesarean I didn’t really give birth. It’s usually overly joking but still annoying as hell

Gl0ri0usTr4sh , neildodhia Report

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister had an emergency caesarean because it was that or THE KID DIES. Which just makes this even more offensive. (My nephew came out just fine and is a strong and healthy toddler now, if anyone's wondering. Kiddo was just too damn big to be born the other way).

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LOttawa
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an emergency c-section and it was also that or my daughter dies (but she was only 6 pounds). She was in fetal distress, seeing the heart rate monitor drop in the 30s and 40s was more than stressful.

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Gillbella
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got asked why I "chose" an emergency c-section- shut them up when I pointed out a choice between life and death isn't really a choice...

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Alethia Nyx
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a Cesar baby, and so was my brother, and we grew up with close friends who were both IVF babies, so both things were completely normal to us growing up. It wasn't till I was an adult that I learnt that there are actually a lot of assholes out there who shame people for having to have a c-section or IVF to successfully have children. I think it's so sad. I also completely don't understand why people are like that.

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María Hermida
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where do you live? Because people around here can be real assholes, but I've never heard this kind of s**t before. Why should anybody care whether a person was born one way or another??????? I'm gobsmacked! I'm not surprised you don't understand it. I don't understand it either.

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Colin Matthews
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats total bull, you definitely did.. My wife did the same. If thats not a birth then nothing is

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Artoonist Corine
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have adopted four children. I hear questions all the time about their "real" mother. I educate them that I AM the "real" mother. There is someone who is the BIRTH mother who didn't give a crap about them. So I get your frustration.

alarsona27 avatar
Amber Larson
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know much about this birth mother, but just because she put them up for adoption doesn't mean she didn't care about them. I'd understand if you had a discussion with her that proved otherwise.

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

harder actually, they seperate your stomach muscles, put your insides on your outside or shove them out of the way cut open your uterus and take the baby then sew it up and put everything back. It is not a picnic

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Forbes Lopez-Forbes
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can thank Mr Shakespeare and his "no man born of woman" can kill Macbeth - Macduff had been a c-section

cheechee717 avatar
Sentinel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh? Why doesnt it count? Because it’s c section or because its emergency?

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Drew Sauveur
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get it. You had a person inside you, that you grew and nurtured, then, your body decided that the human being inside you needed to be outside you, you had an emergency cesarean, undoubtedly saving your and your babies life, and then that human was outside of you. Thus, you gave birth.

vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who haven't been through this shouldn't have any opinion! Even people who have been through this shouldn't have any opinion about YOUR Cesarean because every case is different!

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DarkLumiya
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have kids but I was born by cesarean 2 months premature, my mom was in danger of dying, whoever says this can go eat a whole ass

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Sandra Givens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if I didn't give birth, where did that damn baby come from? Out of the air?

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JLaw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother said I'd been "To posh to push" when I had an emergency Caesarean with my son. I had Placenta Previa which meant the placenta was covering his way out, so had things gone naturally, there was a very high chance that we could bothwas a risk bleed to death . He was told in no uncertain terms to jog on.

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Terilee Bruyere
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this one. Yes, we took the 'easy option'. The easy option being the one that includes major surgery and advice to cough while holding a pillow over your belly so you don't split yourself open.

batwench avatar
Batwench
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What? You didn’t give birth? Where the heck did the baby come from?

cathie-withington54 avatar
Cathie Withington
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, actually it's true, what happened to you was MUCH more traumatic.

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Colleen Garland
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having surgery and a baby at the same time isn't all it's made out to be apparently.

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Dave van Es
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once heard someone say, if you've had a cesarean, the baby isn't born, it's removed. I still don't know whether to laugh, or punch them in the face (and I'm still without child)

lisapepe avatar
Lisa Pepe
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an all natural, out-of-hospital, drug-free water birth complete with midwives, chanting music and candles. (Yes, for real.) And I am here to tell you that your experience is EVERY bit as valid as mine. Congratulations on producing a human from your body. That is all that counts in the end. <3 And seriously, screw those people.

pinkjoelle avatar
Pinkjoelle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a horrible experience with a natural birth that left me with 11 stitches and I still think my friend who had a planned cesarean had it rougher than me. They freaking cut though muscles to pull the baby out.

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Keyy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i have 4 kids so I've seen both natural births and C-sections and i feel like women who have a C-section go thru a little bit more only cuzz that scare will never heal

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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So if they think you didn't give birth do they consider your kid "born"? Do they celebrate your kids " birth"day? Weird.

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's freaking major surgery... My first pregnancy ended in a very hard assisted natural birth, but number two was an hour of actual contractions and then one push and out. If anything doesn't count, it was that. Not a cesarean, that takes months of recovery besides all the other changes in your body. People are stupid sometimes.

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Ben Steinberg
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because someone came out of your side and not your vagina doesn't mean you didn't birth them. On the other-hand, when they're older and try leaving the house, make sure they don't leave by climbing out a window... /s

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Janice Fischhaber
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually had the opposite happen. A friend who went into false labor on the way to the hospital for her scheduled (very necessary) c-section told me (24+ hours of labor followed by two nurses leaning on my belly) that labor wasn't so bad. She would downplay any woman's story about LnD because her two contractions were no problem. I told her that she hadn't really experienced labor. This angered her so much that she decided to give birth naturally with her last child. Her husband later chewed me out because she was in SO MUCH PAIN, and it was all my fault because I had told her she hadn't experienced labor. I told him that I never said that not experiencing labor was a bad thing. Which he had to admit was true.

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Javiera Gotelli
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Try stop giving a sh*t about other people's opinions...

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#19

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My friends used to hit me up at like 7:00 at night, asking me to come out that night — and then they'd be shocked that I couldn't just 'get someone to watch the baby!'

kay37892 , JFGagnonPhotograhie Report

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Amy Pattie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are we saying that you don’t keep an adult teen in your spare room all week for the occasion?

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#20

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My 22 year old brother telling me that instead of nursing my baby while we are together because it weirds him out, I can pump enough beforehand and feed bottles and then baby will be good all day. I explained that if I miss a nursing session then I would be really uncomfortable and have to pump during that time anyways so I usually only pump when I'm away from my baby. Sorry kid

Antibodysnatcher , Ben_Kerckx Report

#21

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My wife and I told her parents that "We trained our dogs really well, kids can't be that much harder..."

18 years later I've got good kids, but the dogs need attention.

ProudBoomer , Victoria_Borodinova Victoria_Borodinova Report

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NanniBadcrumble
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The kids were easy to 'train' my dog on the other hand..... it's a battle of wits and I appear to be losing lol

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#22

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People I could never understand why parents had to plan around their baby's nap. Well, fast-forward five years and two children later, and I now know that if you don't, all hell will break loose halfway through your 'fun' outing!

mmathis00 , Tim Bish Report

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Panda Kicki
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never planned anything around naps. They just sleep when tired, in the carrier, nearest sofa or lap. Depends on the kids and the training I guess.

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#23

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My mate thought it was genuinely OK to pop out for a bit whilst your baby was having a nap. I think her example was going out for a meal.

rsjf89 , Kevin Keith Report

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Bettie-Jean Neal
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a friend who's husband used to do that. He worked from home several days/week and would put the baby down for a nap and then go out and get a haircut. I told her that if the baby woke and the neighbors heard it crying for an extended period of time and called the cops, they'd have the baby taken away. She thought it was ok for him to do that. He, obviously, thought it was fine as well. Morons.

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#24

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People Someone I know suggested doing using maternity leave to do your masters.

Ninotchk , Alexandra Fuller Report

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Anne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure. If you are not pregnant and not adopted a child. Those four months would be a perfect time for that. I doubt.. you will get maternity leave for a masters.. but.. hey.. try!

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#25

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People My husband thought kids start talking at around 3 months, and he joyfully asked our friend whether her 4-month-old was already saying something funny!

Dosed123 , Shalev Cohen Report

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MarcAngelina Alcober
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Javiera Gotelli- you are seriously unhappy in your life- all of your comments in this thread are straight disrespectful and or in poor judgmental taste. I hope one day you can find some happiness- because the way you must be living is not living at all. Someone really needs to give you a hug.

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#26

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People When I was pregnant and picking out a bouncer, my husband said, 'Is this really necessary? Why can't we just put the baby in a chair?'

Trepidatious681 , osseous Report

#27

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People When I had my son, the first child from that generation, my cousin straight up asked, "are his eyes open yet?" Like I had a kitten instead

Recycledineffigy , Peter Oslanec Report

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Laura Mende
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fair enough, Babies are used to close their eyes a lot. Took 3 days to see my nieces wonderful blue eyes!

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#28

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People We were convinced that having a baby would have no significant impact on our ability to do things. So at seven weeks old when we got a message a relative was in our city for one night we said "sure we'd love to meet for dinner" and commited to a one hour train journey in each direction and dinner.

We got home at ten pm exhausted and saying "never again". The meal was wonderful but the trip home was exhausting

BeardedBaldMan , Octav Cado Report

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Uncommon Boston
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a learning curve. When dating my ex husband, often he wanted my son to join us. When out to eat, he entertained my son -- like taking him to watch the lobsters -- my son adored him and loved the attention. Realistic expectations. He would order whatever my son wanted, within reason. Sometimes it was a plate of grated cheese. Happy child = peaceful dinner - usually.

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#29

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People At 32 weeks pregnant I had the nursery complete and set up. All one could ever need to provide good care for a baby was in there.

Childless people around me: 'Oh, so early? Now you'll have to wait so long for the baby! What will you be doing in the meantime?

I got hospitalised at 33 weeks for being in labour

Missa1exandria , Aditya Romansa Report

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Ozacoter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also who wants to mount furniture and decorate when they are 9months pregnant?

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#30

30 Parents Share The Hilariously Wrong Things They've Heard From Child-Free People I had to call in to my last job because my 4 year old was sick. My boss asked if I could just get someone else to watch her. As if someone else would be willing to take off work, risk getting sick, not to mention- I'm her mother, I'm the one people call to take care of MY child when she's sick. I just told him no after a confused pause. My current job is sooo much better about this. I was frustrated at the time, but now I think it's just silly.

Ashley777 , engin akyurt Report

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Anna Banana
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my country parents have additional few vacation days per year for stuff like this. I believe they can be taken without any notice, too.

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