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Parents Tell Their Daughter They’re Removing Her From The Will Because She Has No Kids, So She Ruins Their Holidays
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Parents Tell Their Daughter They’re Removing Her From The Will Because She Has No Kids, So She Ruins Their Holidays

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Kids. Some folks want to have ‘em. Some folks don’t. Either way, it can be a sore and embarrassing topic of discussion with family members. Especially around the holidays. But if you think you’re feeling pressured to have kids by your loved ones, you’d better check again because things might not be as bad for you as for some.

Redditor Doesnotcontributes shared the story of how her entire family got into a massive argument before Christmas. Her parents wrote her out of their will because she was the only one of her three other siblings not having kids.

So in response, the woman demanded that her family members leave her house. Later, she let them know very clearly that she wouldn’t be hosting Christmas at her house this time. The redditor then turned to the ‘Am I the Assh*le’ subreddit for their advice whether she was justified in doing what she did.

A woman shared her story of how she ruined her family’s Christmas because her parents cut her out of the will

Image credits: Ken Mayer (not the actual photo)

Why did they do that? Well, their daughter wasn’t having kids

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Image credits: doesnotcontributes

Doesnotcontributes’ post got removed from the subreddit because it breached the community’s rule on not posting revenge stories. However, the story can still be found hiding, lurking, deep in the dark corners of the internet (Twitter and Imgur).

The vast majority of redditors thought that Doesnotcontributes was not in the wrong and blamed her family for believing that the only way to ‘contribute’ is by having kids. However, some internet users thought that she could have responded more calmly. While others thought that the entire family was to blame.

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The holiday season can be a rough time and cause a lot of arguments because of how different reality is from high expectations. According to Dr. Zoe Shaw, some parents can be very inflexible because they expect that each and every Christmas Eve and Christmas Day should be spent with the extended family, even when everyone’s all grown up. However, spending all that time just with your family can be exhausting. Everyone needs some basic boundaries and some time to be alone to unwind.

Meanwhile, Yesenia Almonte writes that telling your family members that you don’t want to have kids is especially difficult in some communities. For example, if you’re Hispanic, there are certain traditional expectations that you will create a family.

Dr. Ellen Walker explains that one of the best things that you can do if you don’t want to have kids is to have a clear and solid understanding of the reasons why you’re choosing to do what you do. She also suggests that when talking about your choices to others that you be assertive but not confrontational or trying to control the beliefs of others. After all, it’s not about being right; it’s about understanding one another.

The vast majority of people thought that the woman wasn’t in the wrong; the parents were

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Jonas Grinevičius

Jonas Grinevičius

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Justinas Keturka

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Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

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I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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caveman3 avatar
Shantelle Stratford
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have fertility issues and I am also the only one out of 4 children that has not/can not have children and the father saying that to her just p****s me off! It's so rude and just a load of c**p. Weather you choose to not have kids or can't have kids has nothing to do with contribution. I am so happy that her Husband backed her up without batting an eye. I know if I was in her shoes my husband and I would do the exact same as her. You don't need toxic people in your life even if they are family.

tobinkernalphapuck avatar
AlphaPuck
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes me sick when I hear my coworker say her son is getting married so she can finally get grandchildren. If that is what you are shooting for then your priorities are all wrong. My wife and I have been married 9 years and with her fertility issues, my parents have NEVER said a word about us having kids. its never come up. I am so thankful for their understanding. Sounds like this woman is the ONLY good egg to come from that family.

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johnlouis avatar
John Louis
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is no one's business how many kids you do or don't have. There is no Biblical, moral, economic, societal, altruistic mandate or obligation to have kids or have a certain number of kids. END OF STORY!!!!

monika-soffronow avatar
Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only that, but there were only 1 billion of us in 1800, 2 billion in 1930, and now we are going full steam towards 8 billion humans on our suffering planet. https://www.ecology.com/population-estimates-year-2050/

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jasminherde avatar
Jess-a-men
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so glad that my family accepted my decision to not have kids. The only one who actually asked more than once (read: twice) was my great-grandmother and I'm fairly sure she just forgot.

wannina87 avatar
hilliarys avatar
Hilliary Smith
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should not have been kicked off a site for being a "revenge" story. This is a "setting boundaries" story.

bp_10 avatar
WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did right on throwing them all out of her house. But she should have also blocked all of them on her phone and on facebook. They all made it clear on that day that they think she's not a "worthy" family member so there's no need for them to be able to contact her anymore.

johnl_2 avatar
John L
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it ironic. Did it ever occur to the other families, that they were able to afford such a large house, because they didn't have to support kids? With family like that, you don't need many enemies... I shudder to think what would be the reaction if she was gay or married outside her race, if they shunned her just for not having kids....

kimmy4lsu avatar
Kim Lee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet they would have 'dealt' with it if she married outside of her race, if there was kids involved. That's sad, it makes it seem that the mere presence of grandchildren is far more important to them than the needs and wants of their actual child. :(

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ladonnahulcy avatar
LaDonna Hulcy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman are NOT baby machines! So Happy her hubby stepped up and stood by her side. what a bunch of a******s. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN IF THEY DO NOT WANT THEM. saying "Aww but what if she had fertility issues?" that isn't the point! No one should be forced to have children they do not want them.

ilikepie22334 avatar
John Smith
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Actually it is a woman's evolutionary, biological function to carry a child. Hence the ovaries and uterus. So you could also say that a woman is by her very nature a baby machine. But of course choosing to do so is another matter entirely.

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pothayto avatar
Atlas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So having a kid is contributing? What kind of Nineteenth century belief is this? I'm an only child on my 20s and I already told my parents I don't want to be a mother. They didn't even bat an eye - thankfully they aren't out of their minds like op's dad and siblings. What an ungrateful family she has.

raroararoa avatar
RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's almost like her Dad feels it makes him more important the more grandkids he has. Weird. Like you say, how is having a kid a "contribution"? Are they trying to build up a cult or something?

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jem3 avatar
Lingon
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have been meaner, as I wouldn't have told them about them not being invited for Christmas and gone on a trip fantasising about them banging on my door. Why should I contribute even by text?

booksfeedthemind avatar
Donna Leske
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lingon, you win the internet today. I left BP and brooded involuntarily about the story while I cleaned up the kitchen. I not only agree with OP and applaud her spouse for backing her up - I think she could have gone further. The thing is this wasn't the first family rodeo! You KNOW there have been both large and small incidents building to this moment. Stand strong OP!

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katekyffin avatar
Kate Kyffin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a shame isn't it? When you are bought up to be an individual and independent and then you become an adult with your own ideas, but someone in the family doesn't like your perspective (what ever it is). Be you, be independent and be strong. Love and be loved by those who count.

skatey1979 avatar
Darcey Young
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't have kids and my brother has two. When we are all together I get totally ignored; my parents are only interested in my brother and their grandchildren. I usually cook for us all and I get left feeling like I'm just the hired help but without the pay cheque! It really annoys my partner to the point where we have decided I won't be going to stay next Christmas; I'm going to visit before spending time just the two of us. I hope that will stop me feeling so worthless and emotionally burnt out by the festive season.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your parents are crazy to ignore you for not having children. Your partner is right. You just need to enjoy the holidays with someone who loves you no matter what.

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in_zed avatar
Sofia Bellavista
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn entitled breeders. That's all jealousy: the childfree couple is doing amazingly with all the money and time and resources they can enjoy because they are childfree, the breeders want a piece of that during the holidays but then spit on it because they can't have the same lifestyle. Well get out of the house you entitled jealous brat.

elizabethlordcary avatar
Elizabeth
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the Parents or Grandparents in this situation are definitely "breeders". I don't use that term on everyone who has children, but on people who make having kids a condition of being part of the family or people who have an unreasonable amount of children. Especially in any Western nation there is no/little need to have a lot of kids, few families actually farm any longer and those who do use farm equipment for most of the labor as opposed to what farm life was like 50 or 100 years ago. Plus we have modern medicine which ensures most babies survive into adulthood and adults live longer too. Plus human overpopulation is causing animal species to go extinct at a scary pace. So yes, the family judging this childless couple are entirely "breeders" and no that is not a nice term!

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lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't call this revenge--more like self-defense. No man, including a father, has the right to tell a woman she MUST have children. It's up to her, assuming she can have kids. If she wants them, she can decide (with her husband) to give it a go. I have had to distance myself from family members because they were too toxic to have in my life. It's healthier than pretending.

d8888893 avatar
An Opinion
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. Just as no woman has the right to trick or pressure a man into having a child.

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deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman was 100% in the right to throw all of those rude and awful people out of her house. They had no right to treat her that and then expect everything to be cool. The father has some balls to spend every holiday in his daughter's home and then insult her for not having kids and her siblings just seem like little robots that do whatever they are programmed to do.

kanna172014 avatar
Bored Moogle
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't owe your parents grandkids and they don't owe you their money or property.

onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The stupid thing is that there ISN'T any money to speak of. It was just a snotty move on her father's part. My grandmother used to threaten me with that all the time - and she DID have money. The funny thing was, she never had a will. Everything got split down the middle between my mother and her brother's kids (her brother died years ago). So much for the threats.

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stacywinnubst avatar
SBW71
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What does having kids have to do with contributing?? That is the most absurd thing I've heard. Where is it written you HAVE to have kids? She did the right thing.

elcook11914 avatar
Elizabeth Cook
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 4 children and only one has chosen to have children. That's their right to have children or not.

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Similar situation in my family. Much as my mother would have preferred to have more thane 2 grandchildren, she never nagged the 4 of us to produce them. She just asked me once if I planned to have any, so that she could adjust her own expectations. I thought that was pretty fair.

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uvacavfanatic avatar
Bill Taylor
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with them. If it's toxic, walk away.

loridae avatar
Janis Wise
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! That’s a great story. I lost my husband two years ago & my daddy a year later. I had to deal with the most despicable family members who all thought they were entitled to things & had “rights”. First with my husbands crazy family then my sis and I, his only children, had to deal with our wack job family. I saw they were after stuff and $$. My husbands family, two days after he died I shut them down. I said, “I’m his wife of 35 years, I have all the rights & you have none. Now pass from my sight, lose my phone #, the mementos I was going to gift are off the table, I never want to see you again.” Daddy’s people, same thing. He wasn’t rich, but he left everything he had to me and sis. After my husband & that nightmare, I was ready for them. “Go away, I never want to see you again, if you come to my house I will immediately call 911.” Some thought I was harsh. I said “a*****e are a******s. Family? Those people harassed a widow & daughter, they’re nothing.“

angela3213 avatar
Angie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know what it's like to feel forced into having kids. It's a constant nagging from family and friends to "give your husband a baby", "have a child so someone will take care of you when you're old", "you have to have at least one", "you need to leave a legacy", and on and on. So eventually I gave in and am now dealing with a very painful and difficult pregnancy. I wish people would just let others live.

stanimira_deleva avatar
Pacifico Fernandez
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents will be very surprised when I send them to a retirement home. I cannot stand them even for a week, no way I am taking care of them. Why? They use to beat me a lot as a kid and still find it normal. They even told me they weren't beating me enough when I brought the topic. Obviously they made the kids very young and by pressure, and here is the result.

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bojo30 avatar
slackjack
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like NitroGirl's comment - "...choosing good friends can become new family..."

lilskittleme avatar
Molly E
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one should be pressured into having children. No one.

naomiarmitage avatar
Naomi Armitage
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted to literally stand up and applaud OP for her reaction. GOOD. FOR. HER. And her husband. And ultimate shame and disgrace on the rest of the family. So, OP is good enough to host the holidays but not good enough to include in the will? They can line up and bite me.

edc_82 avatar
Lola
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After all, our job is to only breed, right? If we don’t breed we are looked at differently. Kids are not toys for grandparents. It is the biggest decision of your life. If you decide against it, people should respect it. Getting punished for it, shows ignorance and a complete lack of boundaries. I think a lot of families suffer from lack of boundaries. Being blood related does not give you the right to tell someone what to do and how to do it. Setting boundaries with my family was the hardest thing to do, but also the best thing. A lot of people still have a hard time with it but oh well.

octavia_2 avatar
Octavia Hansen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was not the favorite child in my family . . . but, when my parents grew old and sick, my siblings with family were not available. Because I was childless and unmarried, it was easy for me to change my life and care for them until they passed, in their own home, in as much comfort as I could manage. They willed me everything. My final parting words to my bro and sis were "Your children saw how you ditched your parents and never helped or went to see them. They have learned the life lesson that it will be okay to do that to you."

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad your parents finally appreciated you.Your siblings contributed nothing, no time, no money, no help of any sort. In my family, we all contributed something when my mother was quite ill.

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lizzy-snyder avatar
Lizard
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Epitome of NTA. If my count is correct, she was hosting AT LEAST seven people (dad, three siblings, at least one child each, not counting spouses or Mom, who weren't mentioned), likely upwards of ten or twelve, with all of the labor and thought and planning that goes into it, and they say she doesn't contribute? Maybe her response was petty, but so was the dad basically cutting her out of the family for not having kids. There's nothing wrong with returning petty to sender. Using his words against them is just the icing on the cake. Good for her, and good on her husband for having her back. I hope she has lovely future holidays with people who actually appreciate her.

phil-lucas avatar
Lucas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing petty about it. Totally justified. Dad is a complete k**b.

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trayborn114442 avatar
Tiffany Rayborn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was 100% right to throw their belongings into a pile. That is horrible for the family to do that to someone they supposedly love. What if she couldn’t get pregnant or what if she wasn’t married to a man and preferred being married to a woman (Sure she could adopt, IVF but that is her choice) or what if she wanted to be alone. That is her choice. She did the right thing and her response was valid.

kkittywidget avatar
Karen Klinck
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Besides, what was she supposed to do: do the dirty laundry, fold it neatly, sort out everyone's stuff into family areas neatly? Fat chance! She said they'd trashed her house already--and not for the first time. Good riddance.

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leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We recently learned that we will not be sharing in anything when my hubby's parents die. Not even a memento off a shelf. Nope. Zero. Why? We don't have kids. We don't "need" anything. BTW, my hubby's parents have about $1M in assets. So we re-did our wills and left out my hubby's siblings and their kids. We don't have much, but by golly, it's not going *there* after *that* little CHristmas surprise a few weeks ago!

ariateare avatar
Aria
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children are not a "contribution" to the family you fools, they are human beings and some people do not feel they are capable of handling children, or else physically cannot have them. This father and those siblings have a backwards and ridiculously absurd way of thinking. Thank your daughter for the bloody hospitality, because if it was me, I'd do more than kick them out of my house.

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She contributes hosting, room and board, food, etc. What an ungrateful, unappreciative family!

day_tripper77 avatar
Ivy Ruonakoski
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would not have commented on their christmas eve plans. I'd just have kept the door locked and let them knock. Her family sounds like a******s.

charliebruce avatar
Chabruce
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You were MOST accommodating and generous to give them 30 minutes to get out of the house. I would have told them out... NOW. Your belongings may or may not be shipped to you at a later date. You got my vote for doing the right thing.

idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So NTA on this one. No one can treat you like c**p unless you let them and this woman had every right to tell everyone to gtfo. I admire her strength greatly. She turned out great despite her rotten family. I chose not to have kids, too. There are more ways to contribute to the world than contributing to its overpopulation.

cenkkaraferya avatar
Cenk Karaferya
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having a kid doesn't make u superior, it makes you insane. Get these people out of your lives. You don't need kids and more so, you don't need a family that requires you to have kids.

tbrittingham99 avatar
it's me again
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so lucky my parents weren't a******s & respect my choice not to have children.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Make an agreement: father can make decisions about his money and daughter can make decisions about her body.

ryu_bakura avatar
Ryo Bakura
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my parents expected me to give them grandkids in order to inherit whatever they left for me in their will, I'd tell them to f**k off, and give money to an orphanage or something. I don't want or need the hassle of kids in my life just to get some c**p from old people after they die.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So having kids and being broke is a requirement in her family. One of the most cleansing things in the world is to tell those self-righteous members of your family where they can stick their old world mentality. My mother thought I should have stayed home and given up my life, remaining poor, so I could be a good housewife like she did. She's now divorced, on disability, mostly blind with none of her children wanting to visit her because of her self righteousness. And I'd want to be just like that because....? You did the right thing GF! Stand your ground!

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm also a kind of second class person in my family due to not having children. (which was also not voluntarily). But it's been a lot more subtle and certainyl noone would cut me out of a will or anythign this drastic. I am applauding the woman for her extreme measures, especially right on the day. To have her host christmas for so mayn years, sit at her table and eat her food and then say she doe not contribute really is just astonishing!

livelaughlovecrazy avatar
TeeMarieTisMe
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally plan to have children but this story makes me so annoyed. This person was kind enough to share her home and host meals for her family numerous times. THAT is certainly contributing. In my family just being there and bringing a small dish is enough. I hope you don't let this ridiculous mindset get you down.

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly this family has never heard of unconditional love. Children and grandchildren are wonderful but they are not for everyone. What would happen to this world if we actually valued people for who they are?

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The world would be a much better place and relationships would not get broken over things like this.

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captaindash avatar
Full Name
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd drop my family in an instant if they pulled something like that and I'm not joking. I have no time in my life for people like that, blood relation or no. Good on her. They need her more than she needs them.

lsoo avatar
Raine Soo
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never heard of a parent removing a child from a will for not procreating. But, it takes all types, I suppose. I'm glad the couple in question stood up to her family and tossed them out. I knew early on that having children was not for me. It was my choice and my parents were fine with it.

andreacarelesskelk avatar
Andrea Careless
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe back in the day when it was important to reproduce. Not now, when overpopulation is one of the key causes of climate change, species loss and all the other huge environmental problems we are facing.

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robindjw avatar
Robin DJW
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter and SIL are a 2-person family and I love them for it. 100% support their decision. This couple's family sound like total A-holes. Dad is a spiteful old control-freak and the sibs are spineless spongers. I do think, though, that kicking them out with a 1/2 hour notice is maybe a bit harsh, especially when small children are involved. Next day might have done? But maybe not. "Get-out-tomorrow" might have just led to another 18 hours of shouting and spite. Stick to your guns, girl. Your ungenerous family will never recognize your fundamental and open-hearted generosity in hosting them all those years.

gerberryful avatar
Geri Stevens
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Functional fun parents could have made it an adventure for the kids. "Pack your pjs kids and let's burn some rubber getting home to Fido!"" Okay. Maybe not.

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Mónica Sacco
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF??? Having children at demand? Are they Royals, to sternly demand descendants? I'd thrown away the entire family for good as well!

quillingmama avatar
Pamela Scott
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is horrible how some families can only see things one way. They were clearly not thinking about how much work this poor woman was doing with each holiday to help make their holidays special. It has got to be the height of rudeness to blurt this out during dinner then she had to also go through those looks from all of them staring at her while they sat eating her food knowing she was not only providing them with food and lodging at that moment but they clearly assumed she was going to continue to do it. Whether she had chosen to wait to have children or decided it just wasn't right they were wrong to act like she was any less caring when it sounds like she was doing way more than they were! She probably should have sent each family member with an itemized bill for the times they took her contributions to the family for granted!

sian_edwards avatar
Sian Edwards
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents have never expected this of me or my sister (she has two, anyway). They understand that my mental health must come first and the pressures of parenthood would be too much for me - as I have told them, and they accept this. They would rather me be happy and well, and I'm a fantastic aunty!

ashleytt avatar
Bee Diaz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have a very crappy family. Imagine trying to blackmail you into having children? You are correct, you family is toxic and you would be better off far away from them.

mssusanmarie2013 avatar
Susan
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good on you! Never have anything to do with any of them again. Period. I divorced a toxic family, and have never been sorry. Find some decent people to be your friends. It's much better to have good friends than to have horrible relatives.

genevacheryl avatar
Cheryl Fontaine
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents are jerks... in fact sounds like the whole family is well worth "disposing" of.... these people don't deserve you. Attend no more "family" occasions - this isn't family, this is gestapo.

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Dorothy Parker
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously her siblings who agreed with their dad didn't realize their children, who might have been their aunt's heirs, probably can't expect anything in the future.

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Geri Stevens
Community Member
4 years ago

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Who cares. Such entitlement and greed in some of these comments.

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Brandy Grote
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This went beyond the reprehensible "having kids" thing. He then sat there and disrespected her. Then her siblings also had the gall to SIT IN HER HOUSE and say she wasn't 'contributing'. She's far better off away from greedy immature breeders like that.

alanwilkening avatar
Podunkus
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While you’re at it with quality Family Time chit-chat, why not flip the conversation to what the parents’ end-of-life plans are? Guess which immediate family member will probably have ample free time to: (A) provide tender loving elder care, or (B) pull the plug.

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Bruce Jackson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny thing is doesnotcontributes seems to be the richest of the family and with no kids guess where their inheritance was probably going. In many cases it goes to the nieces and nephews. I'm guessing it won't this time. Some lucky charity maybe.

keviequality avatar
Kevin Donohue
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how these parents would have treated an LGBTQ child? If you're not going to love your kids, don't have them.

lindabaum999 avatar
Lin Baum
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To have your father tell you “you’re not having kids, you don’t contribute” is heartbreaking. More than that, after years of catering to her entire family, they’re telling her "you’re worthless". There is absolutely no reason this woman and her husband should ever feel obligated in anyway to care about those who treat her like she’s something to be discarded.

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Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a saying here that you only are good with your family in pictures.

wellsea7 avatar
We'llSee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she and her husband start their own family traditions for the holidays, go out of town, or on vacation , live it up good! I still am shocked how horrible some parents can be. Its ok not to have ANY children, its your choice.

cruzarts avatar
Steve Cruz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dad and siblings don't know how to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS and they took her hospitality for granted. Parents who attempt to manipulate their children with money are despicable.

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Bill
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Way too many crotch monsters running around already , why add more?

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Dog Lover
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good on the couple. Having kids doesn’t define you. I have chosen not to have kids because I don’t want them. This doesn’t make me any less entitled to heirlooms or inheritance.

3142322 avatar
Living_Shadow
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is having kids contributing to anything? Kids cost so much money and sh1t. They're a pain in the @ss. Kids are the responsibility of the person having them, and if a person chooses to not take on that responsibility no one should say s**t. They're not the ones raising the kids.

carrolltonir avatar
Toni Carroll
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A year or two after my son married, his father-in-law asked me what I thought about them not having kids yet. This is what i told him: "Not only is the subject not my business, but not yours either." They don't speak to her parents anymore over other things along with this. Parents of adult children have only one job, Love and Support. That's it.

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Geri Stevens
Community Member
4 years ago

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If that's how brusque conversations are amongst family members it's no wonder you can't conversate.

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Azure Adams
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so right on! Families that think progeny is productivity are f****d up. Good on this couple. Us childfree smart people need to stick together! Just wait until those parents are super old and their grandkids don't visit and other kids don't take care of them because they are too busy with their crotch nugs. This woman and her husband should block the family completely off!

christopheferreira avatar
kurisutofu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand the feeling of wanting kids, even less grandchildren. But I get it's something a lot of people want to see and have but that shouldn't be a priority, especially when it's not your body and your life.

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Gerry Higgins
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm fully behind her and her husband, but I doubt her family got the message.

jip879 avatar
jip 879
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The saddest part is that it all comes to the money... I'm happy that despite having such a father, who should be respectful and supportive, she was respectful for herself and her husband decision.

montessoriheart avatar
Gabrielle Quinet-Conforti
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am an only child. I *HOPE* my kids (4) have children, but the language I use with them is 'if', not 'when'. You are not obliged to reproduce.

shanteyoustay avatar
ShanteYouStay
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a bunch of entitled a******s to me taking advantage of their daughter/sister. I’m sorry she’s related to them.

camerag07 avatar
Kyana Winter
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's shocking to me that anybody could think that it is an obligation to have kids and to cut them out of their WILL for it? That's just absolutely ridiculous.

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NWB
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Family can be right a******s!!!!! I would have done the same!!!

bubamara avatar
bubamara
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents do lots of s**t nowadays including mine....in 21 st century people are less human than before....good luck, girl!

quillingmama avatar
Pamela Scott
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really wish we could evolve to the point that parents did not harrass their kids about grandkids. Not everybody wants to be parents and then you have people who want them but can't and harassing them is just plain cruel!!!

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Robyn Rob
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I completely agree with the OP. Toxic families, especially how they just wanted to forget it what happened and have Christmas there. I have this with my family, although it’s not about kids. I learned not to have any holidays with them whatsoever. My kids and I celebrate ourselves without any drama.

ashleytt avatar
Bee Diaz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While they are your parents and family, they do not deserve you, they have obviously been using your home and you and are ungrateful wretches. Sometimes we just have to ban toxic family from our lives to be happy and mentally healthy. Block all of them from your phone and social media. Enjoy your understanding husband and your home, and enjoy the life you have chosen and built for yourself. Just remember, you do not owe anyone anything and your happiness depends only on you.

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for her! Only one of my four children has children, one isn't married or seeing anyone and the other two are childless by choice. I'm good with their decisions as it's not my business what they do. I love them all no matter what and just want them to be happy.

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Mer
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's her uterus therefore it's up to her, and possibly her husband, what she/they opt to do with it.

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joi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people are a******s. you're better off without family.

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Isabella Shore
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is 100% correct. Having children is a choice. How dare her parents and siblings chastise her for not breeding. Best financial decision she and her hubby could have made.

lmcn avatar
L McN
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh, I am from a large family. And I have many kids. But, despite everyone else in the family having their own situations my parents are giving it ALL to me. Now this sounds odd at first, but realize that my siblings all chose this too, and it is a simple reason: mom and dad do not want to break their hearts planning their death, so it will be up to me to fairly distribute the items because lord knows there wont be money. They essentially trust me. But, nowhere in ANY of that planning and discussions were any consideration on how any child contributed or not, via kids or money or effort. Love is the reason, never "contribution." Of note: I do not want this position, nor was I informed of it until years later. But I accept their reasoning.

safsaf avatar
SAF saf
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh when it comes to a parents will (or lack thereof) it turns people into a******s. I've seen it first hand with my dad's family. I feel what the dad said was pretty s****y' but it feels somehow worse that her siblings didn't defend her. Screw them...let them eat somewhere else.

henrytuttle_1 avatar
Henry Tuttle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The father was just using the only lever he had left in trying to control his daughter. The others were probably backing the idea that she should have kids but not the inheritance thing.

leslie-cully avatar
Leslie Cully
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. The nerve of the family who were LITERALLY STAYING IN HER HOME to say she didn't contribute! She might've been dramatic about it, but I fully support her actions. I can't believe they'd expect her to host again!

jevais avatar
jevais
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one choses ones family, yet we have to bear their ill manners. We are better off with friends Who respect and love us.

jimmylewis avatar
Jimmy Lewis
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bravo to this couple. They are part of a family of ungrateful A holes. They did the right thing by standing up to these jerks.

jitendrashah avatar
Jitendra Shah
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best story I heard today.... like it and good luck to you my hero..... stay away from the family like I did and no regrets.

robinspete avatar
Wilma Robinson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with :B. Semisch. When clown parents tell their married children to have babies or be left out of their Will; the answer is: the door you came is still there.

antonicabre avatar
TC
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well done. If she's not considered an equal member of the family and is not getting a fair share of her parents Will (with the approval of part of the siblings) be not considered a member. Bye.

datenkiller_deluxe avatar
Heidi Zimmermann
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our 6 year old daughter has been telling me for about a year that she doesn't want to get married and that she doesn't want children either and I tell her every time "More important than anything else is that you are happy. No matter if with or without partnership/marriage or children" and she seems to be relieved every time that I don't try to convince her of something else.

p601346 avatar
Le Box of Shame
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my parents want me to grow up and start breeding because it's "selfish" to not do so. no way jose. you guys can slither away

alessia_rizzo avatar
Alessia Rizzo
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with all of you and I add: I don't think there was another solution for Christmas, there is always one. It's just that some people, expecially in the family area, give everything for granted, think they can throw s***t at you and then everything comes back to normal. They don't know what real love is, because real love is respecting and really caring about others. I hope they understand and in the meantime, I hope she finds a lot of grateful friends to spend time with.

beckyboat avatar
Becky Boat
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, it is completely no ones business. They are out of line even discussing it. Second, overpopulation is a real thing and we are running out of resources. Third, I hate to be such a buzz kill but with the way the world is now why would you bring an innocent life into it? War, murders, abductions, school shootings, shootings in general, corrupt governments, debt to get an education, famine, drought, climate change, toxic air and water etc. It seems glutinous and selfish to have children in this day and age.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know I am late to responding to your comment, but you are not being a buzzkill. There are too many horrible things happening in the world for there to be more innocent lives being forced to endure it.

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Colleen Coughlin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lady, your family sounds like a bunch of snobby twats. You'd be better off without that negativity it your life.

lostvalley avatar
Martin Seebach
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How rude, nasty, control freak Dad, greedy sibs...yatta, bleh. I do understand most of unspoken agenda in the tale of Thanksgiving past and Christ birthday future. 2 sibs live at parent's place in town. One left for a few years and the other for less than a year. Too many issues with it all for getting into so I'll stick to one brought up in sad story. Inheritance has NOT a darn thing to do with happenstance of being born into the nuclear family. It has to do with what a dead parent/step parent may leave you for whatever reason. There is no right of inheritance. The costs inherent when a child barely leaves the nest for decades add up and rarely are considered. Should one build and reside in a home never permitted things get REALLY untenable if/when insurance, tenancy and stress become voided. When the locale is offering NO PENALTIES for small home never permitted, inspected, insured and adult sib refuses to deal with issue there should be ramifications. Same for other living there

lostvalley avatar
Martin Seebach
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

has extreme champagne tastes on Mom's widows funds. Trying really hard to stay on proper side of not a revenge thing and avboout to dance on the line. house issue at 2500usd daily from date of notice +/- 18 months ago, could take both houses and the 2.5 acres they sit on in Silicon Valley. Might get our ranch about 15 minutes into hills from that site. And that would send patho truth challenged I married, built homes on both coasts for, moved to Belgium then worked under table with. Had a gorgeous bebe grrl with her while in NJ. We'd discussed perhaps having another child 5 or so years after moving back to California. Then the miracle twins, grrl/boy 1ea were conceived at some time or other. Most likely 2 egg omelet with left overs for bound person. Boyo enjoys well handling fast cars and totals them after using college fund for down payment. Grrl twin apparently is much more self directed and well educated than any parent. Quite the snafu this lifetime of penury4me. It is what it mystic1-5e...7279a8.jpg mystic1-5e2b4a87279a8.jpg

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Christel Nellemann
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This world os in dire trouble thanks to overpopulation, and they want to force someone to add more children into this world against their wishes? And being taken for granted sucks. Bye bye selfish family.

sherry_straus_94 avatar
Fairsher
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF is wrong with some people?? Her parents sound like they should never have had children! I could never, ever say anything like that to any of my 3 children. I have never asked my adult children and their partners about having children, that is one of the most private questions.I know which of them want kids,they have told me when they were younger but when they have them is their and their partners business.

elizabeth_gardner925 avatar
Elizabeth Gardner
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am absolutely disgusted. How dare a family impose sanctions on a member because that member and husband choose not to have children. By today's standard I myself would also think twice and stuff the world it is for all accounts and purposes it is their decision to make . I would not have them back either. After the years of supplying them and offering them all the hospitality of your home and they do this? I too would have called a halt. I think this is the most disgraceful thing I have ever read. Stick to this and do not give in their are people who would appreciate getting together with you and they are probably not family but they would be more like it. I Have rarely had a family christmas in years my family are not interested in what I do. I never ever get invited to their houses any more. I am a widow and I just do it for myself, believe it though it is not fair or right, but I do not see why I should do all the travelling each year .

nicolacolohan6175 avatar
Unicornstar
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am the youngest of 3 and I have NEVER been pressured into having children. Quite rightly my Mother says if you don't want them more than anything else in the world 110% and can live with anything and everything they come with DONT HAVE THEM. You can't give them back to anyone when it gets hard because they are yours. They are a total disruption to your life and the expense is astronomical and don't even think about it if you can't calm down a screaming child without loosing your cool. Parenthood is the hardest job in the world. If you can't do it or don't want to do it. DONT DO IT.

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Karen Klinck
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother demanded to know when I was giving her grandchildren. I told her my brother had already given her 4; that was enough. She replied it wasn't the same (he's out-of-state, I'm not.) So I replied, "With or without a husband?" (I wasn't married then, and I'm still not.) Shocked, she said, With, of course!" (She was born in 1916; it's instinctive. She also sent me to college to catch a doctor...) My response was, "Then don't hold your breath." She finally got the idea and stopped harassing me.

saderman avatar
Shelli Aderman
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my family had DAINED to say that, I would have been snarky AF and asked for a donor uterus, or a bajillion dollars for fertility treatments! JFC, people just don’t get it. It’s NO ONE’s business if you have children or not. Family therapy for the hateful parents and siblings is definitely in order!

robinrov avatar
Radrob311
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she was too nice. I'd like to tell this family off on her behalf.

crangel82 avatar
CJ Charron-Rangel
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the family has 3 other kids? They are all presumably having kids? What's the problem?

creamygoodnes avatar
C.S.
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to know where the family is today!? Did they realize they were being total asses, are they still being monumentally stupid and ungrateful!? Update please!!

earthy_140 avatar
KayKay
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I have two and after our second we both agreed that we're done. He had a vasectomy to more or less "seal the deal." He had the procedure 2 years ago and his family and my family are aware we had that done. His sister, cousins and uncles STILL ask when we're going to have another one! It bothers me bc they KNOW he had that procedure done. Bothers me most when my SIL asks bc she used to get soooo mad when their parents/uncles/aunts would ask when she was going to have her first child!! Like we already have TWO?! I'd love to have a soccer team's worth of kids but It's just not happening.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think your relatives are just trying to be annoying. They know that he had the procedure and that it's a done deal, they just like to bringing it up.

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Jessamyn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I spent time trying to say what I think about this but I'm a tad speechless...I seriously think they should get therapy because if they think having children makes a "contribution" then they some mental issues. Like people say, THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS! If all of her siblings have children (at least 2)...Then I assure you her parents will have enough descendants to continue their family name (if that's what their worried about). Seriously...I would block my entire family and move to the other side of the country if they did that to me!

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How awful. What if they couldn't have kids, for health reasons and dealt with that between them. How painful will that have been. I love how they are a team though. (Ps. Am I the only one thinking that of all the family members.. this lady should have procreated and not the rest? Her set of genes seem far superior to her siblings.. (yeah I know.. they in theory have the same set - but obviously not))

lynmoffett avatar
Lyn Moffett
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely disgusting. Not ALL women choose to her mothers and god forbid the lady or her husband do have a medical reason. Sounds to me like the dad is a bit of a control freak. As for NOT CONTRIBUTING exactly WHOS house were they all freeloading in. Good for her. I'd have fkd their stuff in the garden after inviting them all outside then went in and locked my door. I would also have had them arrested for trespass if they weren't gone by the stipulated time. Would love to have seen their faces when they had to cook AND look after their own offspring hahahahaha brilliant

bb_8 avatar
B B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In life we choose a wife, a husband. We do not choose our family. They are part of who we are, but do not define us. Respect for one-another keeps a family together, as well as appreciating the good things they have to offer (such as love, understanding and support).

marymarty avatar
kitk4t
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anything can procreate - it's not special. Many of us don't feel the penury to bring more children into this world. Enough of my family’s DNA is out in the world without the necessity for me to spawn more mouths and resources to feed. Nor does my ego require a copy of oneself to express love, empathy or kindness.

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David Taylor
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's plenty of blame to go around. The father was being a jerk. The mature thing to have done was let it go on Thanksgiving evening. Not kick them all out with 30 minutes notice. After thanksgiving have a private conversation with the father for clarification. If the father was sticking to his posistion then that would have been the time to indicate, if grandchildren are the only measure you use father and don't consider anything else we do as contributing to the family then we will just stop doing those things and then sticking to that position until they came around to a better way of thinking. Sounds like they'd be better off without that toxic dump of a family.

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An Opinion
Community Member
4 years ago

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Stop being so sensible. You will only get upvotes on this site if your ignorant, selfish and hateful.

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shado
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have kids by choice either - I doubt most realize just how expensive carpet-crawlers really are or how much you actually have to sacrifice for them - but I have had a similar experience with family ... sad as it is, I have been out their orbit for so long now, and just so little a part of that family that I doubt I will ever see any of them again - I hear they are still all out for their own gain and quite willing to screw over the closest next person in line, and with what it has cost me both physically, mentally and financially, I stood to lose a lot more by foolishly sticking it out and staying around - their loss and their's alone.

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Rebecah Ozuna
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents should understand that their kids are theirs until they die or their kids do. If they want their kids to be nice to them when in old age or sick, they should give them a reason to NOT to toss them away at a nursing home.

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An Opinion
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4 years ago

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Statistically speaking they're unhappier and die younger. Keep your smarts.

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Ivy at Eve
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't own my home (renter), I don't have kids nor a career so an aunt once told me I didn't achieve anything/I'm worthless because I don't have at least one of the above and all of my brothers have at least children or own a house, so they are better than me. She was very smug about that too. Never mind that one of my brothers was unable to give his children a stable and happy home, he was still above me. Strangely, when there is a family function, I make sure not to sit next to her and she doesn't understand why.

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leah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always thought my family was whack-a-doo until Reddit. Good Lord for all of our crazy we do truly love each other and don't go out of our way to purposely hurt a parent or sibling. And I thought families with adult children did potluck holidays. Maybe that's just us. We all have things we're fantastic at making and at every holiday gathering we contribute that item.

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Phoenix Hocking
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Completely agree with the couple. They were well within their rights to throw that ungrateful bunch out the door. I agree with another poster. Family isn't always about blood; it's about those whom you choose to have in your life.

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Shinomi Chan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You go girl! You and your hubby definitely did the right thing. What the hell is wrong with that family? They can't expect everyone to want children. Your children do not "owe" you any grandchildren and if you're going to be petty about it, don't be surprised when it hits you back in the face.

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no_name
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could someone please explain to me how having kids means contributing to family and why we're not allowed to contribute in any other way?

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Pauline Guien
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My only child does not want children, of course I would have loved a grandchild, but it's not my decision, when it comes down to it I just want HER to be happy with her life.

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JessRS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"...one of the best things that you can do if you don’t want to have kids is to have a clear and solid understanding of the reasons why you’re choosing to do what you do." Bullshit. I don't want children because I don't want children, period, I (nor anyone else) don't need to justify my choices. No one is asking people why they want children, why should the opposite happen?

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Anita Jeffery
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story is so troubling on so many levels! No one, including your parents has the right to tell you that you must have children. If you don't want children and they don't like it, they are quite honestly not people you need in your life. I have gone through some pretty tough times with my family and ultimately decided they were making me feel worse about myself then I ever had (I'm hard enough on myself). I finally simply started focusing on the people who treated me with love and gave as much as I did in return when it came to caring. As a side note, I am a widow with one son. He is gay, and has made it very clear that he has no desire to have children with his partner. Does this hurt me deep down? Yes, I always envisioned myself having grandchildren running around. However I would NEVER tell anyone to have children that don't want them. I grew up in a large family of 11. It was not a happy upbringing! I would not attend any further celebrations.

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Jesse James
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to have kids. The world's overpopulated already and they aren't for everyone.

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Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another example of how so many Americans have the mentality of the dark ages. In Europe, the dark ages ended about 500 years ago.

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Lucas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop American bashing. Fairly sure there are stupid, selfish fools in every country on the planet.

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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should have stayed silent when they were talking about going to het house for Christmas, letting them assume it was ok to come. Then invite her husband's family and decorate and go all out and then when her family showed up say sorry! No room!

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David Jeu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone on those reddit revenge forums are terrible peoples.

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An Opinion
Community Member
4 years ago

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The worst part of this story is that they aired it for all to see/read. I'd rather be bored and have nothing to read then live in a world where everyone feels the need to air their dirty laundry. I guess it's time for me to walk into the woods because the way things are going it's only going to get worse.

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pebs
Community Member
4 years ago

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Some US citizens show a great resemblance to the Talibans.

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Gregory Hewitt
Community Member
4 years ago

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lest we forget, no matter how thin the pancake, it always has two sides.

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Symtpom
Community Member
4 years ago

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shouldve started f*****g your husband in front of them and ask "is this what you want?"

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Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago

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The parents can do whatever they want with their money. I don’t know why they decided to use it to bludgeon their daughter, but is it really worth cutting off your family? Yeah, they’re rude, tacky and greedy, but family is family

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Dave P
Community Member
4 years ago

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Both are in the wrong, the parents for not accepting her choice and punishing her for it and thinking they are entitled to Grandkids from her. She is wrong for thinking she is entitled for something her parents decided that those who fit within certain parameters could obtain. Both are in the wrong, both entitled in two different ways, both are AH and both should act mature about this stop being childish.

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Devin Land
Community Member
4 years ago

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So what. Her parents have every right to.... it's there money.

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Stille20
Community Member
4 years ago

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I understand what they did but I don't agree. They could have simply told everyone that since they are not being seen as contributing, then they would not host any future holidays. This would have left room for discussion. Instead they blew it up into a massive fight, from which the family is unlikely to recover. Before doing something like this, it's best to decide whether or not you plan to cut your family out of your life.

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Shantelle Stratford
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have fertility issues and I am also the only one out of 4 children that has not/can not have children and the father saying that to her just p****s me off! It's so rude and just a load of c**p. Weather you choose to not have kids or can't have kids has nothing to do with contribution. I am so happy that her Husband backed her up without batting an eye. I know if I was in her shoes my husband and I would do the exact same as her. You don't need toxic people in your life even if they are family.

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AlphaPuck
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes me sick when I hear my coworker say her son is getting married so she can finally get grandchildren. If that is what you are shooting for then your priorities are all wrong. My wife and I have been married 9 years and with her fertility issues, my parents have NEVER said a word about us having kids. its never come up. I am so thankful for their understanding. Sounds like this woman is the ONLY good egg to come from that family.

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John Louis
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is no one's business how many kids you do or don't have. There is no Biblical, moral, economic, societal, altruistic mandate or obligation to have kids or have a certain number of kids. END OF STORY!!!!

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only that, but there were only 1 billion of us in 1800, 2 billion in 1930, and now we are going full steam towards 8 billion humans on our suffering planet. https://www.ecology.com/population-estimates-year-2050/

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Jess-a-men
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so glad that my family accepted my decision to not have kids. The only one who actually asked more than once (read: twice) was my great-grandmother and I'm fairly sure she just forgot.

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Hilliary Smith
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This should not have been kicked off a site for being a "revenge" story. This is a "setting boundaries" story.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She did right on throwing them all out of her house. But she should have also blocked all of them on her phone and on facebook. They all made it clear on that day that they think she's not a "worthy" family member so there's no need for them to be able to contact her anymore.

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John L
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it ironic. Did it ever occur to the other families, that they were able to afford such a large house, because they didn't have to support kids? With family like that, you don't need many enemies... I shudder to think what would be the reaction if she was gay or married outside her race, if they shunned her just for not having kids....

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Kim Lee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet they would have 'dealt' with it if she married outside of her race, if there was kids involved. That's sad, it makes it seem that the mere presence of grandchildren is far more important to them than the needs and wants of their actual child. :(

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LaDonna Hulcy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Woman are NOT baby machines! So Happy her hubby stepped up and stood by her side. what a bunch of a******s. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN IF THEY DO NOT WANT THEM. saying "Aww but what if she had fertility issues?" that isn't the point! No one should be forced to have children they do not want them.

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John Smith
Community Member
4 years ago

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Actually it is a woman's evolutionary, biological function to carry a child. Hence the ovaries and uterus. So you could also say that a woman is by her very nature a baby machine. But of course choosing to do so is another matter entirely.

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Atlas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So having a kid is contributing? What kind of Nineteenth century belief is this? I'm an only child on my 20s and I already told my parents I don't want to be a mother. They didn't even bat an eye - thankfully they aren't out of their minds like op's dad and siblings. What an ungrateful family she has.

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's almost like her Dad feels it makes him more important the more grandkids he has. Weird. Like you say, how is having a kid a "contribution"? Are they trying to build up a cult or something?

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Lingon
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have been meaner, as I wouldn't have told them about them not being invited for Christmas and gone on a trip fantasising about them banging on my door. Why should I contribute even by text?

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Donna Leske
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lingon, you win the internet today. I left BP and brooded involuntarily about the story while I cleaned up the kitchen. I not only agree with OP and applaud her spouse for backing her up - I think she could have gone further. The thing is this wasn't the first family rodeo! You KNOW there have been both large and small incidents building to this moment. Stand strong OP!

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Kate Kyffin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a shame isn't it? When you are bought up to be an individual and independent and then you become an adult with your own ideas, but someone in the family doesn't like your perspective (what ever it is). Be you, be independent and be strong. Love and be loved by those who count.

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Darcey Young
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't have kids and my brother has two. When we are all together I get totally ignored; my parents are only interested in my brother and their grandchildren. I usually cook for us all and I get left feeling like I'm just the hired help but without the pay cheque! It really annoys my partner to the point where we have decided I won't be going to stay next Christmas; I'm going to visit before spending time just the two of us. I hope that will stop me feeling so worthless and emotionally burnt out by the festive season.

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deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your parents are crazy to ignore you for not having children. Your partner is right. You just need to enjoy the holidays with someone who loves you no matter what.

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Sofia Bellavista
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn entitled breeders. That's all jealousy: the childfree couple is doing amazingly with all the money and time and resources they can enjoy because they are childfree, the breeders want a piece of that during the holidays but then spit on it because they can't have the same lifestyle. Well get out of the house you entitled jealous brat.

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Elizabeth
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the Parents or Grandparents in this situation are definitely "breeders". I don't use that term on everyone who has children, but on people who make having kids a condition of being part of the family or people who have an unreasonable amount of children. Especially in any Western nation there is no/little need to have a lot of kids, few families actually farm any longer and those who do use farm equipment for most of the labor as opposed to what farm life was like 50 or 100 years ago. Plus we have modern medicine which ensures most babies survive into adulthood and adults live longer too. Plus human overpopulation is causing animal species to go extinct at a scary pace. So yes, the family judging this childless couple are entirely "breeders" and no that is not a nice term!

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elfin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't call this revenge--more like self-defense. No man, including a father, has the right to tell a woman she MUST have children. It's up to her, assuming she can have kids. If she wants them, she can decide (with her husband) to give it a go. I have had to distance myself from family members because they were too toxic to have in my life. It's healthier than pretending.

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An Opinion
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree. Just as no woman has the right to trick or pressure a man into having a child.

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deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This woman was 100% in the right to throw all of those rude and awful people out of her house. They had no right to treat her that and then expect everything to be cool. The father has some balls to spend every holiday in his daughter's home and then insult her for not having kids and her siblings just seem like little robots that do whatever they are programmed to do.

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Bored Moogle
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don't owe your parents grandkids and they don't owe you their money or property.

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Aunt Messy
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The stupid thing is that there ISN'T any money to speak of. It was just a snotty move on her father's part. My grandmother used to threaten me with that all the time - and she DID have money. The funny thing was, she never had a will. Everything got split down the middle between my mother and her brother's kids (her brother died years ago). So much for the threats.

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SBW71
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What does having kids have to do with contributing?? That is the most absurd thing I've heard. Where is it written you HAVE to have kids? She did the right thing.

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Elizabeth Cook
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 4 children and only one has chosen to have children. That's their right to have children or not.

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Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Similar situation in my family. Much as my mother would have preferred to have more thane 2 grandchildren, she never nagged the 4 of us to produce them. She just asked me once if I planned to have any, so that she could adjust her own expectations. I thought that was pretty fair.

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Bill Taylor
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just because someone is related to you doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with them. If it's toxic, walk away.

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Janis Wise
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you! That’s a great story. I lost my husband two years ago & my daddy a year later. I had to deal with the most despicable family members who all thought they were entitled to things & had “rights”. First with my husbands crazy family then my sis and I, his only children, had to deal with our wack job family. I saw they were after stuff and $$. My husbands family, two days after he died I shut them down. I said, “I’m his wife of 35 years, I have all the rights & you have none. Now pass from my sight, lose my phone #, the mementos I was going to gift are off the table, I never want to see you again.” Daddy’s people, same thing. He wasn’t rich, but he left everything he had to me and sis. After my husband & that nightmare, I was ready for them. “Go away, I never want to see you again, if you come to my house I will immediately call 911.” Some thought I was harsh. I said “a*****e are a******s. Family? Those people harassed a widow & daughter, they’re nothing.“

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Angie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know what it's like to feel forced into having kids. It's a constant nagging from family and friends to "give your husband a baby", "have a child so someone will take care of you when you're old", "you have to have at least one", "you need to leave a legacy", and on and on. So eventually I gave in and am now dealing with a very painful and difficult pregnancy. I wish people would just let others live.

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Pacifico Fernandez
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents will be very surprised when I send them to a retirement home. I cannot stand them even for a week, no way I am taking care of them. Why? They use to beat me a lot as a kid and still find it normal. They even told me they weren't beating me enough when I brought the topic. Obviously they made the kids very young and by pressure, and here is the result.

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slackjack
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like NitroGirl's comment - "...choosing good friends can become new family..."

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Molly E
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one should be pressured into having children. No one.

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Naomi Armitage
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted to literally stand up and applaud OP for her reaction. GOOD. FOR. HER. And her husband. And ultimate shame and disgrace on the rest of the family. So, OP is good enough to host the holidays but not good enough to include in the will? They can line up and bite me.

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Lola
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After all, our job is to only breed, right? If we don’t breed we are looked at differently. Kids are not toys for grandparents. It is the biggest decision of your life. If you decide against it, people should respect it. Getting punished for it, shows ignorance and a complete lack of boundaries. I think a lot of families suffer from lack of boundaries. Being blood related does not give you the right to tell someone what to do and how to do it. Setting boundaries with my family was the hardest thing to do, but also the best thing. A lot of people still have a hard time with it but oh well.

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Octavia Hansen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was not the favorite child in my family . . . but, when my parents grew old and sick, my siblings with family were not available. Because I was childless and unmarried, it was easy for me to change my life and care for them until they passed, in their own home, in as much comfort as I could manage. They willed me everything. My final parting words to my bro and sis were "Your children saw how you ditched your parents and never helped or went to see them. They have learned the life lesson that it will be okay to do that to you."

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Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad your parents finally appreciated you.Your siblings contributed nothing, no time, no money, no help of any sort. In my family, we all contributed something when my mother was quite ill.

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Lizard
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Epitome of NTA. If my count is correct, she was hosting AT LEAST seven people (dad, three siblings, at least one child each, not counting spouses or Mom, who weren't mentioned), likely upwards of ten or twelve, with all of the labor and thought and planning that goes into it, and they say she doesn't contribute? Maybe her response was petty, but so was the dad basically cutting her out of the family for not having kids. There's nothing wrong with returning petty to sender. Using his words against them is just the icing on the cake. Good for her, and good on her husband for having her back. I hope she has lovely future holidays with people who actually appreciate her.

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Lucas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing petty about it. Totally justified. Dad is a complete k**b.

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Tiffany Rayborn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She was 100% right to throw their belongings into a pile. That is horrible for the family to do that to someone they supposedly love. What if she couldn’t get pregnant or what if she wasn’t married to a man and preferred being married to a woman (Sure she could adopt, IVF but that is her choice) or what if she wanted to be alone. That is her choice. She did the right thing and her response was valid.

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Karen Klinck
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Besides, what was she supposed to do: do the dirty laundry, fold it neatly, sort out everyone's stuff into family areas neatly? Fat chance! She said they'd trashed her house already--and not for the first time. Good riddance.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We recently learned that we will not be sharing in anything when my hubby's parents die. Not even a memento off a shelf. Nope. Zero. Why? We don't have kids. We don't "need" anything. BTW, my hubby's parents have about $1M in assets. So we re-did our wills and left out my hubby's siblings and their kids. We don't have much, but by golly, it's not going *there* after *that* little CHristmas surprise a few weeks ago!

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Aria
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children are not a "contribution" to the family you fools, they are human beings and some people do not feel they are capable of handling children, or else physically cannot have them. This father and those siblings have a backwards and ridiculously absurd way of thinking. Thank your daughter for the bloody hospitality, because if it was me, I'd do more than kick them out of my house.

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Viviane
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She contributes hosting, room and board, food, etc. What an ungrateful, unappreciative family!

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Ivy Ruonakoski
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would not have commented on their christmas eve plans. I'd just have kept the door locked and let them knock. Her family sounds like a******s.

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Chabruce
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You were MOST accommodating and generous to give them 30 minutes to get out of the house. I would have told them out... NOW. Your belongings may or may not be shipped to you at a later date. You got my vote for doing the right thing.

idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So NTA on this one. No one can treat you like c**p unless you let them and this woman had every right to tell everyone to gtfo. I admire her strength greatly. She turned out great despite her rotten family. I chose not to have kids, too. There are more ways to contribute to the world than contributing to its overpopulation.

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Cenk Karaferya
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having a kid doesn't make u superior, it makes you insane. Get these people out of your lives. You don't need kids and more so, you don't need a family that requires you to have kids.

tbrittingham99 avatar
it's me again
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so lucky my parents weren't a******s & respect my choice not to have children.

catwoman408 avatar
Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Make an agreement: father can make decisions about his money and daughter can make decisions about her body.

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Ryo Bakura
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my parents expected me to give them grandkids in order to inherit whatever they left for me in their will, I'd tell them to f**k off, and give money to an orphanage or something. I don't want or need the hassle of kids in my life just to get some c**p from old people after they die.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So having kids and being broke is a requirement in her family. One of the most cleansing things in the world is to tell those self-righteous members of your family where they can stick their old world mentality. My mother thought I should have stayed home and given up my life, remaining poor, so I could be a good housewife like she did. She's now divorced, on disability, mostly blind with none of her children wanting to visit her because of her self righteousness. And I'd want to be just like that because....? You did the right thing GF! Stand your ground!

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm also a kind of second class person in my family due to not having children. (which was also not voluntarily). But it's been a lot more subtle and certainyl noone would cut me out of a will or anythign this drastic. I am applauding the woman for her extreme measures, especially right on the day. To have her host christmas for so mayn years, sit at her table and eat her food and then say she doe not contribute really is just astonishing!

livelaughlovecrazy avatar
TeeMarieTisMe
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally plan to have children but this story makes me so annoyed. This person was kind enough to share her home and host meals for her family numerous times. THAT is certainly contributing. In my family just being there and bringing a small dish is enough. I hope you don't let this ridiculous mindset get you down.

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly this family has never heard of unconditional love. Children and grandchildren are wonderful but they are not for everyone. What would happen to this world if we actually valued people for who they are?

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The world would be a much better place and relationships would not get broken over things like this.

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captaindash avatar
Full Name
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd drop my family in an instant if they pulled something like that and I'm not joking. I have no time in my life for people like that, blood relation or no. Good on her. They need her more than she needs them.

lsoo avatar
Raine Soo
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never heard of a parent removing a child from a will for not procreating. But, it takes all types, I suppose. I'm glad the couple in question stood up to her family and tossed them out. I knew early on that having children was not for me. It was my choice and my parents were fine with it.

andreacarelesskelk avatar
Andrea Careless
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe back in the day when it was important to reproduce. Not now, when overpopulation is one of the key causes of climate change, species loss and all the other huge environmental problems we are facing.

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robindjw avatar
Robin DJW
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter and SIL are a 2-person family and I love them for it. 100% support their decision. This couple's family sound like total A-holes. Dad is a spiteful old control-freak and the sibs are spineless spongers. I do think, though, that kicking them out with a 1/2 hour notice is maybe a bit harsh, especially when small children are involved. Next day might have done? But maybe not. "Get-out-tomorrow" might have just led to another 18 hours of shouting and spite. Stick to your guns, girl. Your ungenerous family will never recognize your fundamental and open-hearted generosity in hosting them all those years.

gerberryful avatar
Geri Stevens
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Functional fun parents could have made it an adventure for the kids. "Pack your pjs kids and let's burn some rubber getting home to Fido!"" Okay. Maybe not.

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monica_e_sacco avatar
Mónica Sacco
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF??? Having children at demand? Are they Royals, to sternly demand descendants? I'd thrown away the entire family for good as well!

quillingmama avatar
Pamela Scott
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is horrible how some families can only see things one way. They were clearly not thinking about how much work this poor woman was doing with each holiday to help make their holidays special. It has got to be the height of rudeness to blurt this out during dinner then she had to also go through those looks from all of them staring at her while they sat eating her food knowing she was not only providing them with food and lodging at that moment but they clearly assumed she was going to continue to do it. Whether she had chosen to wait to have children or decided it just wasn't right they were wrong to act like she was any less caring when it sounds like she was doing way more than they were! She probably should have sent each family member with an itemized bill for the times they took her contributions to the family for granted!

sian_edwards avatar
Sian Edwards
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents have never expected this of me or my sister (she has two, anyway). They understand that my mental health must come first and the pressures of parenthood would be too much for me - as I have told them, and they accept this. They would rather me be happy and well, and I'm a fantastic aunty!

ashleytt avatar
Bee Diaz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have a very crappy family. Imagine trying to blackmail you into having children? You are correct, you family is toxic and you would be better off far away from them.

mssusanmarie2013 avatar
Susan
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good on you! Never have anything to do with any of them again. Period. I divorced a toxic family, and have never been sorry. Find some decent people to be your friends. It's much better to have good friends than to have horrible relatives.

genevacheryl avatar
Cheryl Fontaine
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The parents are jerks... in fact sounds like the whole family is well worth "disposing" of.... these people don't deserve you. Attend no more "family" occasions - this isn't family, this is gestapo.

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously her siblings who agreed with their dad didn't realize their children, who might have been their aunt's heirs, probably can't expect anything in the future.

gerberryful avatar
Geri Stevens
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Who cares. Such entitlement and greed in some of these comments.

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Brandy Grote
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This went beyond the reprehensible "having kids" thing. He then sat there and disrespected her. Then her siblings also had the gall to SIT IN HER HOUSE and say she wasn't 'contributing'. She's far better off away from greedy immature breeders like that.

alanwilkening avatar
Podunkus
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While you’re at it with quality Family Time chit-chat, why not flip the conversation to what the parents’ end-of-life plans are? Guess which immediate family member will probably have ample free time to: (A) provide tender loving elder care, or (B) pull the plug.

mr_millenium2001 avatar
Bruce Jackson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny thing is doesnotcontributes seems to be the richest of the family and with no kids guess where their inheritance was probably going. In many cases it goes to the nieces and nephews. I'm guessing it won't this time. Some lucky charity maybe.

keviequality avatar
Kevin Donohue
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder how these parents would have treated an LGBTQ child? If you're not going to love your kids, don't have them.

lindabaum999 avatar
Lin Baum
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To have your father tell you “you’re not having kids, you don’t contribute” is heartbreaking. More than that, after years of catering to her entire family, they’re telling her "you’re worthless". There is absolutely no reason this woman and her husband should ever feel obligated in anyway to care about those who treat her like she’s something to be discarded.

alusairalustriel avatar
Alusair Alustriel
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a saying here that you only are good with your family in pictures.

wellsea7 avatar
We'llSee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she and her husband start their own family traditions for the holidays, go out of town, or on vacation , live it up good! I still am shocked how horrible some parents can be. Its ok not to have ANY children, its your choice.

cruzarts avatar
Steve Cruz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dad and siblings don't know how to MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS and they took her hospitality for granted. Parents who attempt to manipulate their children with money are despicable.

dirigobill avatar
Bill
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Way too many crotch monsters running around already , why add more?

doglover_2907 avatar
Dog Lover
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good on the couple. Having kids doesn’t define you. I have chosen not to have kids because I don’t want them. This doesn’t make me any less entitled to heirlooms or inheritance.

3142322 avatar
Living_Shadow
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is having kids contributing to anything? Kids cost so much money and sh1t. They're a pain in the @ss. Kids are the responsibility of the person having them, and if a person chooses to not take on that responsibility no one should say s**t. They're not the ones raising the kids.

carrolltonir avatar
Toni Carroll
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A year or two after my son married, his father-in-law asked me what I thought about them not having kids yet. This is what i told him: "Not only is the subject not my business, but not yours either." They don't speak to her parents anymore over other things along with this. Parents of adult children have only one job, Love and Support. That's it.

gerberryful avatar
Geri Stevens
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

If that's how brusque conversations are amongst family members it's no wonder you can't conversate.

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benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so right on! Families that think progeny is productivity are f****d up. Good on this couple. Us childfree smart people need to stick together! Just wait until those parents are super old and their grandkids don't visit and other kids don't take care of them because they are too busy with their crotch nugs. This woman and her husband should block the family completely off!

christopheferreira avatar
kurisutofu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand the feeling of wanting kids, even less grandchildren. But I get it's something a lot of people want to see and have but that shouldn't be a priority, especially when it's not your body and your life.

gerry1of1 avatar
Gerry Higgins
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm fully behind her and her husband, but I doubt her family got the message.

jip879 avatar
jip 879
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The saddest part is that it all comes to the money... I'm happy that despite having such a father, who should be respectful and supportive, she was respectful for herself and her husband decision.

montessoriheart avatar
Gabrielle Quinet-Conforti
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am an only child. I *HOPE* my kids (4) have children, but the language I use with them is 'if', not 'when'. You are not obliged to reproduce.

shanteyoustay avatar
ShanteYouStay
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like a bunch of entitled a******s to me taking advantage of their daughter/sister. I’m sorry she’s related to them.

camerag07 avatar
Kyana Winter
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's shocking to me that anybody could think that it is an obligation to have kids and to cut them out of their WILL for it? That's just absolutely ridiculous.

ngaerewoodford avatar
NWB
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Family can be right a******s!!!!! I would have done the same!!!

bubamara avatar
bubamara
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents do lots of s**t nowadays including mine....in 21 st century people are less human than before....good luck, girl!

quillingmama avatar
Pamela Scott
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really wish we could evolve to the point that parents did not harrass their kids about grandkids. Not everybody wants to be parents and then you have people who want them but can't and harassing them is just plain cruel!!!

robynxrivero avatar
Robyn Rob
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I completely agree with the OP. Toxic families, especially how they just wanted to forget it what happened and have Christmas there. I have this with my family, although it’s not about kids. I learned not to have any holidays with them whatsoever. My kids and I celebrate ourselves without any drama.

ashleytt avatar
Bee Diaz
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While they are your parents and family, they do not deserve you, they have obviously been using your home and you and are ungrateful wretches. Sometimes we just have to ban toxic family from our lives to be happy and mentally healthy. Block all of them from your phone and social media. Enjoy your understanding husband and your home, and enjoy the life you have chosen and built for yourself. Just remember, you do not owe anyone anything and your happiness depends only on you.

beatyruth avatar
Ruth Beaty
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for her! Only one of my four children has children, one isn't married or seeing anyone and the other two are childless by choice. I'm good with their decisions as it's not my business what they do. I love them all no matter what and just want them to be happy.

circular-motion avatar
Mer
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's her uterus therefore it's up to her, and possibly her husband, what she/they opt to do with it.

tripichick avatar
joi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people are a******s. you're better off without family.

isabellashore avatar
Isabella Shore
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is 100% correct. Having children is a choice. How dare her parents and siblings chastise her for not breeding. Best financial decision she and her hubby could have made.

lmcn avatar
L McN
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh, I am from a large family. And I have many kids. But, despite everyone else in the family having their own situations my parents are giving it ALL to me. Now this sounds odd at first, but realize that my siblings all chose this too, and it is a simple reason: mom and dad do not want to break their hearts planning their death, so it will be up to me to fairly distribute the items because lord knows there wont be money. They essentially trust me. But, nowhere in ANY of that planning and discussions were any consideration on how any child contributed or not, via kids or money or effort. Love is the reason, never "contribution." Of note: I do not want this position, nor was I informed of it until years later. But I accept their reasoning.

safsaf avatar
SAF saf
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh when it comes to a parents will (or lack thereof) it turns people into a******s. I've seen it first hand with my dad's family. I feel what the dad said was pretty s****y' but it feels somehow worse that her siblings didn't defend her. Screw them...let them eat somewhere else.

henrytuttle_1 avatar
Henry Tuttle
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The father was just using the only lever he had left in trying to control his daughter. The others were probably backing the idea that she should have kids but not the inheritance thing.

leslie-cully avatar
Leslie Cully
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. The nerve of the family who were LITERALLY STAYING IN HER HOME to say she didn't contribute! She might've been dramatic about it, but I fully support her actions. I can't believe they'd expect her to host again!

jevais avatar
jevais
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one choses ones family, yet we have to bear their ill manners. We are better off with friends Who respect and love us.

jimmylewis avatar
Jimmy Lewis
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bravo to this couple. They are part of a family of ungrateful A holes. They did the right thing by standing up to these jerks.

jitendrashah avatar
Jitendra Shah
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best story I heard today.... like it and good luck to you my hero..... stay away from the family like I did and no regrets.

robinspete avatar
Wilma Robinson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with :B. Semisch. When clown parents tell their married children to have babies or be left out of their Will; the answer is: the door you came is still there.

antonicabre avatar
TC
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well done. If she's not considered an equal member of the family and is not getting a fair share of her parents Will (with the approval of part of the siblings) be not considered a member. Bye.

datenkiller_deluxe avatar
Heidi Zimmermann
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our 6 year old daughter has been telling me for about a year that she doesn't want to get married and that she doesn't want children either and I tell her every time "More important than anything else is that you are happy. No matter if with or without partnership/marriage or children" and she seems to be relieved every time that I don't try to convince her of something else.

p601346 avatar
Le Box of Shame
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my parents want me to grow up and start breeding because it's "selfish" to not do so. no way jose. you guys can slither away

alessia_rizzo avatar
Alessia Rizzo
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with all of you and I add: I don't think there was another solution for Christmas, there is always one. It's just that some people, expecially in the family area, give everything for granted, think they can throw s***t at you and then everything comes back to normal. They don't know what real love is, because real love is respecting and really caring about others. I hope they understand and in the meantime, I hope she finds a lot of grateful friends to spend time with.

beckyboat avatar
Becky Boat
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First of all, it is completely no ones business. They are out of line even discussing it. Second, overpopulation is a real thing and we are running out of resources. Third, I hate to be such a buzz kill but with the way the world is now why would you bring an innocent life into it? War, murders, abductions, school shootings, shootings in general, corrupt governments, debt to get an education, famine, drought, climate change, toxic air and water etc. It seems glutinous and selfish to have children in this day and age.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know I am late to responding to your comment, but you are not being a buzzkill. There are too many horrible things happening in the world for there to be more innocent lives being forced to endure it.

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colleencoughlin avatar
Colleen Coughlin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lady, your family sounds like a bunch of snobby twats. You'd be better off without that negativity it your life.

lostvalley avatar
Martin Seebach
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How rude, nasty, control freak Dad, greedy sibs...yatta, bleh. I do understand most of unspoken agenda in the tale of Thanksgiving past and Christ birthday future. 2 sibs live at parent's place in town. One left for a few years and the other for less than a year. Too many issues with it all for getting into so I'll stick to one brought up in sad story. Inheritance has NOT a darn thing to do with happenstance of being born into the nuclear family. It has to do with what a dead parent/step parent may leave you for whatever reason. There is no right of inheritance. The costs inherent when a child barely leaves the nest for decades add up and rarely are considered. Should one build and reside in a home never permitted things get REALLY untenable if/when insurance, tenancy and stress become voided. When the locale is offering NO PENALTIES for small home never permitted, inspected, insured and adult sib refuses to deal with issue there should be ramifications. Same for other living there

lostvalley avatar
Martin Seebach
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

has extreme champagne tastes on Mom's widows funds. Trying really hard to stay on proper side of not a revenge thing and avboout to dance on the line. house issue at 2500usd daily from date of notice +/- 18 months ago, could take both houses and the 2.5 acres they sit on in Silicon Valley. Might get our ranch about 15 minutes into hills from that site. And that would send patho truth challenged I married, built homes on both coasts for, moved to Belgium then worked under table with. Had a gorgeous bebe grrl with her while in NJ. We'd discussed perhaps having another child 5 or so years after moving back to California. Then the miracle twins, grrl/boy 1ea were conceived at some time or other. Most likely 2 egg omelet with left overs for bound person. Boyo enjoys well handling fast cars and totals them after using college fund for down payment. Grrl twin apparently is much more self directed and well educated than any parent. Quite the snafu this lifetime of penury4me. It is what it mystic1-5e...7279a8.jpg mystic1-5e2b4a87279a8.jpg

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christelnellemann avatar
Christel Nellemann
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This world os in dire trouble thanks to overpopulation, and they want to force someone to add more children into this world against their wishes? And being taken for granted sucks. Bye bye selfish family.

sherry_straus_94 avatar
Fairsher
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WTF is wrong with some people?? Her parents sound like they should never have had children! I could never, ever say anything like that to any of my 3 children. I have never asked my adult children and their partners about having children, that is one of the most private questions.I know which of them want kids,they have told me when they were younger but when they have them is their and their partners business.

elizabeth_gardner925 avatar
Elizabeth Gardner
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am absolutely disgusted. How dare a family impose sanctions on a member because that member and husband choose not to have children. By today's standard I myself would also think twice and stuff the world it is for all accounts and purposes it is their decision to make . I would not have them back either. After the years of supplying them and offering them all the hospitality of your home and they do this? I too would have called a halt. I think this is the most disgraceful thing I have ever read. Stick to this and do not give in their are people who would appreciate getting together with you and they are probably not family but they would be more like it. I Have rarely had a family christmas in years my family are not interested in what I do. I never ever get invited to their houses any more. I am a widow and I just do it for myself, believe it though it is not fair or right, but I do not see why I should do all the travelling each year .

nicolacolohan6175 avatar
Unicornstar
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am the youngest of 3 and I have NEVER been pressured into having children. Quite rightly my Mother says if you don't want them more than anything else in the world 110% and can live with anything and everything they come with DONT HAVE THEM. You can't give them back to anyone when it gets hard because they are yours. They are a total disruption to your life and the expense is astronomical and don't even think about it if you can't calm down a screaming child without loosing your cool. Parenthood is the hardest job in the world. If you can't do it or don't want to do it. DONT DO IT.

kkittywidget avatar
Karen Klinck
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother demanded to know when I was giving her grandchildren. I told her my brother had already given her 4; that was enough. She replied it wasn't the same (he's out-of-state, I'm not.) So I replied, "With or without a husband?" (I wasn't married then, and I'm still not.) Shocked, she said, With, of course!" (She was born in 1916; it's instinctive. She also sent me to college to catch a doctor...) My response was, "Then don't hold your breath." She finally got the idea and stopped harassing me.

saderman avatar
Shelli Aderman
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If my family had DAINED to say that, I would have been snarky AF and asked for a donor uterus, or a bajillion dollars for fertility treatments! JFC, people just don’t get it. It’s NO ONE’s business if you have children or not. Family therapy for the hateful parents and siblings is definitely in order!

robinrov avatar
Radrob311
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think she was too nice. I'd like to tell this family off on her behalf.

crangel82 avatar
CJ Charron-Rangel
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the family has 3 other kids? They are all presumably having kids? What's the problem?

creamygoodnes avatar
C.S.
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to know where the family is today!? Did they realize they were being total asses, are they still being monumentally stupid and ungrateful!? Update please!!

earthy_140 avatar
KayKay
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband and I have two and after our second we both agreed that we're done. He had a vasectomy to more or less "seal the deal." He had the procedure 2 years ago and his family and my family are aware we had that done. His sister, cousins and uncles STILL ask when we're going to have another one! It bothers me bc they KNOW he had that procedure done. Bothers me most when my SIL asks bc she used to get soooo mad when their parents/uncles/aunts would ask when she was going to have her first child!! Like we already have TWO?! I'd love to have a soccer team's worth of kids but It's just not happening.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think your relatives are just trying to be annoying. They know that he had the procedure and that it's a done deal, they just like to bringing it up.

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Jessamyn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I spent time trying to say what I think about this but I'm a tad speechless...I seriously think they should get therapy because if they think having children makes a "contribution" then they some mental issues. Like people say, THEY'RE HUMAN BEINGS! If all of her siblings have children (at least 2)...Then I assure you her parents will have enough descendants to continue their family name (if that's what their worried about). Seriously...I would block my entire family and move to the other side of the country if they did that to me!

anne-karina avatar
Anne
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How awful. What if they couldn't have kids, for health reasons and dealt with that between them. How painful will that have been. I love how they are a team though. (Ps. Am I the only one thinking that of all the family members.. this lady should have procreated and not the rest? Her set of genes seem far superior to her siblings.. (yeah I know.. they in theory have the same set - but obviously not))

lynmoffett avatar
Lyn Moffett
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely disgusting. Not ALL women choose to her mothers and god forbid the lady or her husband do have a medical reason. Sounds to me like the dad is a bit of a control freak. As for NOT CONTRIBUTING exactly WHOS house were they all freeloading in. Good for her. I'd have fkd their stuff in the garden after inviting them all outside then went in and locked my door. I would also have had them arrested for trespass if they weren't gone by the stipulated time. Would love to have seen their faces when they had to cook AND look after their own offspring hahahahaha brilliant

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B B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In life we choose a wife, a husband. We do not choose our family. They are part of who we are, but do not define us. Respect for one-another keeps a family together, as well as appreciating the good things they have to offer (such as love, understanding and support).

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kitk4t
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anything can procreate - it's not special. Many of us don't feel the penury to bring more children into this world. Enough of my family’s DNA is out in the world without the necessity for me to spawn more mouths and resources to feed. Nor does my ego require a copy of oneself to express love, empathy or kindness.

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David Taylor
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's plenty of blame to go around. The father was being a jerk. The mature thing to have done was let it go on Thanksgiving evening. Not kick them all out with 30 minutes notice. After thanksgiving have a private conversation with the father for clarification. If the father was sticking to his posistion then that would have been the time to indicate, if grandchildren are the only measure you use father and don't consider anything else we do as contributing to the family then we will just stop doing those things and then sticking to that position until they came around to a better way of thinking. Sounds like they'd be better off without that toxic dump of a family.

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An Opinion
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4 years ago

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Stop being so sensible. You will only get upvotes on this site if your ignorant, selfish and hateful.

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shado
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have kids by choice either - I doubt most realize just how expensive carpet-crawlers really are or how much you actually have to sacrifice for them - but I have had a similar experience with family ... sad as it is, I have been out their orbit for so long now, and just so little a part of that family that I doubt I will ever see any of them again - I hear they are still all out for their own gain and quite willing to screw over the closest next person in line, and with what it has cost me both physically, mentally and financially, I stood to lose a lot more by foolishly sticking it out and staying around - their loss and their's alone.

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Rebecah Ozuna
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents should understand that their kids are theirs until they die or their kids do. If they want their kids to be nice to them when in old age or sick, they should give them a reason to NOT to toss them away at a nursing home.

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d8888893 avatar
An Opinion
Community Member
4 years ago

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Statistically speaking they're unhappier and die younger. Keep your smarts.

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Ivy at Eve
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't own my home (renter), I don't have kids nor a career so an aunt once told me I didn't achieve anything/I'm worthless because I don't have at least one of the above and all of my brothers have at least children or own a house, so they are better than me. She was very smug about that too. Never mind that one of my brothers was unable to give his children a stable and happy home, he was still above me. Strangely, when there is a family function, I make sure not to sit next to her and she doesn't understand why.

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leah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always thought my family was whack-a-doo until Reddit. Good Lord for all of our crazy we do truly love each other and don't go out of our way to purposely hurt a parent or sibling. And I thought families with adult children did potluck holidays. Maybe that's just us. We all have things we're fantastic at making and at every holiday gathering we contribute that item.

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Phoenix Hocking
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Completely agree with the couple. They were well within their rights to throw that ungrateful bunch out the door. I agree with another poster. Family isn't always about blood; it's about those whom you choose to have in your life.

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Shinomi Chan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You go girl! You and your hubby definitely did the right thing. What the hell is wrong with that family? They can't expect everyone to want children. Your children do not "owe" you any grandchildren and if you're going to be petty about it, don't be surprised when it hits you back in the face.

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no_name
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could someone please explain to me how having kids means contributing to family and why we're not allowed to contribute in any other way?

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Pauline Guien
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My only child does not want children, of course I would have loved a grandchild, but it's not my decision, when it comes down to it I just want HER to be happy with her life.

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JessRS
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"...one of the best things that you can do if you don’t want to have kids is to have a clear and solid understanding of the reasons why you’re choosing to do what you do." Bullshit. I don't want children because I don't want children, period, I (nor anyone else) don't need to justify my choices. No one is asking people why they want children, why should the opposite happen?

aljeffery2 avatar
Anita Jeffery
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story is so troubling on so many levels! No one, including your parents has the right to tell you that you must have children. If you don't want children and they don't like it, they are quite honestly not people you need in your life. I have gone through some pretty tough times with my family and ultimately decided they were making me feel worse about myself then I ever had (I'm hard enough on myself). I finally simply started focusing on the people who treated me with love and gave as much as I did in return when it came to caring. As a side note, I am a widow with one son. He is gay, and has made it very clear that he has no desire to have children with his partner. Does this hurt me deep down? Yes, I always envisioned myself having grandchildren running around. However I would NEVER tell anyone to have children that don't want them. I grew up in a large family of 11. It was not a happy upbringing! I would not attend any further celebrations.

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Jesse James
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to have kids. The world's overpopulated already and they aren't for everyone.

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Tiny Dynamine
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another example of how so many Americans have the mentality of the dark ages. In Europe, the dark ages ended about 500 years ago.

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Lucas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop American bashing. Fairly sure there are stupid, selfish fools in every country on the planet.

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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should have stayed silent when they were talking about going to het house for Christmas, letting them assume it was ok to come. Then invite her husband's family and decorate and go all out and then when her family showed up say sorry! No room!

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David Jeu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone on those reddit revenge forums are terrible peoples.

d8888893 avatar
An Opinion
Community Member
4 years ago

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The worst part of this story is that they aired it for all to see/read. I'd rather be bored and have nothing to read then live in a world where everyone feels the need to air their dirty laundry. I guess it's time for me to walk into the woods because the way things are going it's only going to get worse.

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pebs
Community Member
4 years ago

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Some US citizens show a great resemblance to the Talibans.

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Gregory Hewitt
Community Member
4 years ago

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lest we forget, no matter how thin the pancake, it always has two sides.

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Symtpom
Community Member
4 years ago

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shouldve started f*****g your husband in front of them and ask "is this what you want?"

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Tina Hugh
Community Member
4 years ago

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The parents can do whatever they want with their money. I don’t know why they decided to use it to bludgeon their daughter, but is it really worth cutting off your family? Yeah, they’re rude, tacky and greedy, but family is family

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Dave P
Community Member
4 years ago

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Both are in the wrong, the parents for not accepting her choice and punishing her for it and thinking they are entitled to Grandkids from her. She is wrong for thinking she is entitled for something her parents decided that those who fit within certain parameters could obtain. Both are in the wrong, both entitled in two different ways, both are AH and both should act mature about this stop being childish.

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Devin Land
Community Member
4 years ago

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So what. Her parents have every right to.... it's there money.

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Stille20
Community Member
4 years ago

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I understand what they did but I don't agree. They could have simply told everyone that since they are not being seen as contributing, then they would not host any future holidays. This would have left room for discussion. Instead they blew it up into a massive fight, from which the family is unlikely to recover. Before doing something like this, it's best to decide whether or not you plan to cut your family out of your life.

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