Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post Search
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Dad Is Furious After Finding Out His Parents Were Bullying His Kids – Kicks Them Out During The Pandemic
User submission
205.8K

Dad Is Furious After Finding Out His Parents Were Bullying His Kids – Kicks Them Out During The Pandemic

ADVERTISEMENT

When it seems that raising teenage kids on your own is challenging enough, some people, especially the ones closest to us, don’t make it any easier. On the contrary, these two elderly parents of a single dad of two have not only not shown any support, but kept constantly criticizing his daughter and son.

The story comes from an author on r/AITA and divorced dad, who’s in full custody of the 16-year-old boy named Marcus and 15-year-old Maria. The problems started when his “higher risk” parents moved into the family’s house to stay during the pandemic.

“They would both always comment (to me) about their behaviors and hobbies with comments such as ‘He’s not very manly’ or ‘that’s not very ladylike’ and other such comments,” wrote the dad about his mom and dad being needlessly mean to his kids.

But at one point, the tense situation reached a boiling point and the dad kicked them out. Now, unsure if it was the right thing to do, he turned online to ask for advice.

Image credits: Stevan Sheets (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

And this is what people had to comment on the whole incident

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

206Kviews

Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Start the discussion
Add photo comments
POST
finskilad avatar
TmKhr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible grandparents. Kids do what they love, and that should be respected. Definitely NTA.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA The grandparents deserved to be kicked out. I hope the kids recover from the bullying and it doesn't affect their future

kjorn avatar
christineschneider avatar
Beeps
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, granddad belives in tough love, so I see no problem with kicking him out.

alicewiedrick avatar
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes but he told a girl in pain to "suck it up" instead of helping. Does that seem ok to you?

Load More Replies...
linettedavis avatar
Linette Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You did what's right never put anyone not even your parents in front of your kids.Your kids will be forever grateful to you.Sometimes parents get older and think it's their right to take advantage of their grown kids.I wish I had known half of what I know now.If I did I wouldn't be in the shape I am in today.Your kids are blessed to have a father who loves them so much.Anr whatever you do do t let your parents move back in with you ever.

cybermerlin2000 avatar
cybermerlin2000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only way OP could be the A-hole is by allowing his parents to move in knowing how they are with his kids and should have kicked them out the minute they started. But this is far out weighed by the fact OP kicked them out for their behaviour towards his kids and to be honest they sound like kids I would be proud of. When placed in the balance, the 1g of a-holeness is far outweighed by the 100tons of love and care and protection of his real family. Conclusion: NOT the a-hole. Just don't fall for their sh*t again. Please

reptilegirl30 avatar
Tacos Are Tasty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% NTA. The grandparents are toxic and it seems that they've always been this way. Your kids will be better off without that nastiness in their lives and so will you.

btcvsolo avatar
Benjamin Thor Collier V
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It always amuses me when ‘family’ thinks it’s OK to bash. In my case, I’m happily estranged from them all.

shannabritt avatar
shanna britt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are a warrior and blessing to your children. You showed by example how to defend the most precious part of all of us. Unfortunately or fortunately pain is a great motivator to look inside and get clarity. Well done!

froskpinni avatar
Jenný Samúelsdóttir Herlufsen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that you re not the asshole in this situation, and yet you are beating yourself up for being an asshole, let’s me know that you are even less of an asshole than I anticipated in the beginning. Grandparents are supposed to be loving and supportive, I believe you are a very good dad to your children.

oceanblue513 avatar
Znaya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for the life you had growing up. But also happy for the parent you are. Most parents don't have to be how they were were raised, a lot choose to be. Your mother and father enable each other in their bullying behavior. Good for you for not giving in and putting your children first, good man.

174agma avatar
Be Potato
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. Unfortunately, my parents are kinda like the grandparents at times (both were raised through hardship and tough love). I still remembered the time my dad called me 'weak' for having anxiety and my mom doesn't really take excuses. She doesn't even allow me to skip school if I was sick and stuff. I wish that they'd be more understanding...

katie-trondsen avatar
KT
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL they tell your daughter suffering to suck it up, but then bitch that they "might" get sick with covid? F**k them! You are NTA, your parents are. Keep them away from your family they are toxic and vile

kanrrykang avatar
KK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The son sounds like a real gentlemen. He will do great, and I seriously hope the daughter's condition will hopefully alleviate at the very least as time goes on...

armsoftheocean avatar
Franc Esca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a single incident, I'm sure the problems didn't start overnight. I'm so sick of old toxic people running over everyone just because they're old. Glad he kicked them out.

nfrlprdpr avatar
Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put vise grips on the grandfathers tested and squeeze them in front of his wife, keep them on for hours, when he cries out in pain tell him That this is exactly how your daughter feels when she’s suffering and if the wife times in to be empathetic tell her to suck it up

manuelamartins avatar
Manuela Martins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As sad as it may sound, sometimes children have to throw their parents out of the house if they cannot keep their inappropriate comments to themselves.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is NTA. You don't talk to your grandchildren in that manner. Being artistic doesn't make a guy less manly. I mean, look at art history. There's Picasso, Van Gogh, Da Vinci. A girl doing sports doesn't make her less of a lady. I think that it's cool that the daughter is into sports in spite of her health condition. On the endometriosis, this girl can't just suck it up and get over it and I think that it's very sweet that her brother takes care of her during that time.

vdevriese avatar
Val
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can someone explain to me what all those abbreviations mean? AITA, TA, PO, ... Is AITA "Am I The Asshole"'?

saragregory0508 avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

AITA - Am I The Asshole; NTA - Not The Asshole; YTA - You're The Asshole; ESH - Everyone Sucks Here; NAH - No Assholes Here. Have you maybe transposed PO for OP? OP - Original Post(er).

Load More Replies...
mhklevgard avatar
Melvin Dragvelk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This started out being wrong. Your parents moved into a house with two teenagers who were constantly running to different activities where they were exposed to many, many people, and you and your parents thought this would keep them safer from COVID then if they stayed at their own place and isolated?

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any parenting site would recommend that until the children are 21, they are to be their parent, not the pal. So his folks are not 'minors' but the teenagers are. He needs to support the children at all levels, to the best of his abilities. His own parents are on their own or keep their opinions to themselves. A warning to change may have been nice, but not necessary.

tararay13 avatar
Tara Raay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is how men turn in to toxic asshole or rapists. Let men decide who they are and what they like. You have to be an idiot to believe that men are weak for caring. It’s what most women want in men….

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand. I have a couple of pious aunts who were always talking to my mum about my illnesses/disabilities as though they knew better than us & my doctors, always saying that I should fight through the pain & be more sociable. I also have PCOS/endometriosis, so I understand the frustration. My mum did more or less the same thing & told them where to stick it, adding that they weren’t being very Christian towards their own niece. They still haven’t changed & we aren’t about to bow to their superiority complex! 🤷‍♀️

evelyn_haskins_7 avatar
Evelyn Haskins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My house, MY rules. and anyone who comes here needs to respect that. I am surprised that you don't ask them to leave mush sooner.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Protecting your kids comes first. That done, do what you can to mitigate your parents' problems. They are old and they are at risk.

ashleytt avatar
Bee Diaz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your children should come first, you did the right thing.

mariedeheryng avatar
Marie deHeryng
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You, Sir, are a wonderful parent of two amazing and wonderful children. I am so happy that you put your children first as they should always be your priority! Your parents, unfortunately, have never learned to parent well and it is therefore amazing that you turned out to be such a fabulous parent yourself! Congratulations on raising two lovely children who care for one another and you. Keep your family close and do not let others hurt you, including your own unfortunate terrible parents who have little compassion for you or their own grandchildren.💖💖💖

katboxjanitor avatar
katboxjanitor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Papa Bear, you did well by standing up for your children who have clearly felt loved and respected by you! It is hard that your parents have been difficult throughout your life - but I am thrilled and proud that you gave them boundaries and stood by your kids.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a difference in offering a critique and being critical. Being critical brings stress which can be detrimental to one's mental health and happiness. The grandparents were critical and were warned not to be. They didn't listen. Throw them out and let them criticize life, that's what they do best and they'll be the only ones who will listen

ae_3 avatar
あんぱんまん
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the boy, marcus.... he is a real man.... men dont need to get abs or dont need to be buff nd fight others to prove manliness.... the best men are those who respect women and everyone, try avoid fights and all that...

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. He might allow them moving in again, if they change this behaviour. You cannot change one's beliefs, at least not instantly, but, for example, the granddad could "man up", here translating into "shut up" when things don't match his opinion on masculinity. He's by no means in order of setting up rules at that home, just because he's Dad's Dad. They can suck it up and accept the things, rules, their son's family as is - or move out finally and for good. Offering that, in case they aren't that toxic in general, would be my approach. Or leaving them outside and everything as is, for knowing which one, I don't know enough of this.

maryprime-lawrence avatar
Mary Prime-Lawrence
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had similar situation with my mother in law. She is toxic af. She has played favorites since my kids were little. The kids noticed. The favored kids feel horrible that they are treated kindly and other sibling is crapped on. We've all tried to run interference and be a barrier between grandma and the kid she dislikes but refuse to do it any longer. Pandemic or no, I told my spouse that his mother needed to leave or the kids and I were leaving. 16 months later, she is finally gone.

cstrickland75 avatar
cheryl strickland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talk to your children. See how they feel and what they want. They were the targets. Let it be their call. NTAH

deannababy61 avatar
Deanna Crichley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's disturbing to me how they're leaving messages trying to guilt you. It seems like they've been abusive for a long time.

alicewiedrick avatar
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Terrible. I wonder how they would react if they were my grandparents and I came out to them as bi. Yea, I would be dead before i finish the sentence. NTA

prava-hanuma avatar
Unaffected
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some parents need to learn that just being a parent doesn't automatically give you a respect.You need to earn it just like anyone else.Giving someone life doesn't give you right to be mean.Good on you dad, you're awesome!

ijustchangedmyname avatar
I Just Changed My Name
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Respect to the dad for having the kids back immediately. You're an awesome dad and NTA.

rachaelsaxon avatar
Rachael Saxon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA! Your parents are belittling their own grandchildren and that is awful. Have you tried to explain the magnitude of their actions to them?

isabellagalluzzo19 avatar
Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% NTA. Some grandparents your kids have. If I were you I’d keep my kids away from those abusing assholes.

tandawson avatar
Binta Tan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for him..!! His parents should have been more supportive of their grandkids. I don't blame the OP at all and fair play that he put his children 1st..!! Well done Dad

iblowsheep avatar
iblowsheep
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

unfortunately, there are far too many similar examples out there, and those who just accept it as the way it is.

benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Umm you let yourself be manipulated into letting them sponge off you and insult the humans you are responsible for even once in your own home???!!! Do you not have a spine and balls?! End your relationship and severe all contact immediately and get yourself into an assertiveness course stat!!

kathrynhatfield avatar
KatHat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but he missed a great opportunity to model conflict resolution to his kids. Not everything in life can be solved this way and his kids need to see how to have a conversation about a difficult topic. He could have sat down with his parents - the kids should have been present too - and laid out exactly what the problems were. I think it would have been powerful to give them one chance to change their behavior after the conversation but if he'd decided not to that would be reasonable too. But the kids missed the chance to hear their father defend them to his parents, explain the problems, and to give them a chance to listen and change. That's a skill badly needed and how will the kids learn it if he doesn't show them?

larisa_1 avatar
Lara Mig
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Conflict resolution doesn't mean sticking around to be abused, and it especially doesn't mean leaving your kids around abusers. They can "listen and change" somewhere else.

Load More Replies...
mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems like the type of thing that he could have been spoken to them about without kicking them out but he's right to look out for the well being of his kids. It's hard to say without having met the parents but If they absolutely will not shut their mouths then he did what he had to do.

onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They are adults with all of their marbles in place, and they are not homeless. This man grew up with these people abusing him and he will not permit them to abuse his kids. This is not complicated.

Load More Replies...
shells74shells74 avatar
Shells74 Shells74
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grandparents are awesome parents are wusses, thats why kids are like they are today.

huntertsf avatar
Unamused Raccoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, let's change who's in the receiving end to give you a better perspective on this, because apparently you don't give a s**t about your kids. If your parents did nothing but verbally harass and insult your spouse in front of you, would you just sit there like a coward and do nothing about it?

Load More Replies...
kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but not very good at communicating either. Imo, instead of just letting his Dad run his mouth, he should have given a clear warnign earlier.

login0telefon avatar
Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

since the "grandfather" is so much into traditional roles you should have asked him, before kicking his ass out, what kind of useless pussy bitch is he that he married a woman who is older than him

e-jimenez01 avatar
Cuervo
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Agreed. The grandparents should have told the kids to be weak and to not act appropriately. Wait that doesn't sound right...

e-jimenez01 avatar
Cuervo
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree with the father. The grandparents should have told the kids to be weak and to be a victim. and to not to act appropriately. Because grandparents know nothing because they have no experience in life. Wait that's not true. Never mind.

sindustrydesign avatar
Penny Kemper
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Why couldn't you just help them by getting things they needed so they didn't have to go out? That's all I'd do. Living with others is hard anyway, let alone your parents as an adult.

finskilad avatar
TmKhr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible grandparents. Kids do what they love, and that should be respected. Definitely NTA.

bpbperic avatar
Night Owl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA The grandparents deserved to be kicked out. I hope the kids recover from the bullying and it doesn't affect their future

kjorn avatar
christineschneider avatar
Beeps
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, granddad belives in tough love, so I see no problem with kicking him out.

alicewiedrick avatar
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes but he told a girl in pain to "suck it up" instead of helping. Does that seem ok to you?

Load More Replies...
linettedavis avatar
Linette Davis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You did what's right never put anyone not even your parents in front of your kids.Your kids will be forever grateful to you.Sometimes parents get older and think it's their right to take advantage of their grown kids.I wish I had known half of what I know now.If I did I wouldn't be in the shape I am in today.Your kids are blessed to have a father who loves them so much.Anr whatever you do do t let your parents move back in with you ever.

cybermerlin2000 avatar
cybermerlin2000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only way OP could be the A-hole is by allowing his parents to move in knowing how they are with his kids and should have kicked them out the minute they started. But this is far out weighed by the fact OP kicked them out for their behaviour towards his kids and to be honest they sound like kids I would be proud of. When placed in the balance, the 1g of a-holeness is far outweighed by the 100tons of love and care and protection of his real family. Conclusion: NOT the a-hole. Just don't fall for their sh*t again. Please

reptilegirl30 avatar
Tacos Are Tasty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% NTA. The grandparents are toxic and it seems that they've always been this way. Your kids will be better off without that nastiness in their lives and so will you.

btcvsolo avatar
Benjamin Thor Collier V
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It always amuses me when ‘family’ thinks it’s OK to bash. In my case, I’m happily estranged from them all.

shannabritt avatar
shanna britt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are a warrior and blessing to your children. You showed by example how to defend the most precious part of all of us. Unfortunately or fortunately pain is a great motivator to look inside and get clarity. Well done!

froskpinni avatar
Jenný Samúelsdóttir Herlufsen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that you re not the asshole in this situation, and yet you are beating yourself up for being an asshole, let’s me know that you are even less of an asshole than I anticipated in the beginning. Grandparents are supposed to be loving and supportive, I believe you are a very good dad to your children.

oceanblue513 avatar
Znaya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for the life you had growing up. But also happy for the parent you are. Most parents don't have to be how they were were raised, a lot choose to be. Your mother and father enable each other in their bullying behavior. Good for you for not giving in and putting your children first, good man.

174agma avatar
Be Potato
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. Unfortunately, my parents are kinda like the grandparents at times (both were raised through hardship and tough love). I still remembered the time my dad called me 'weak' for having anxiety and my mom doesn't really take excuses. She doesn't even allow me to skip school if I was sick and stuff. I wish that they'd be more understanding...

katie-trondsen avatar
KT
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL they tell your daughter suffering to suck it up, but then bitch that they "might" get sick with covid? F**k them! You are NTA, your parents are. Keep them away from your family they are toxic and vile

kanrrykang avatar
KK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The son sounds like a real gentlemen. He will do great, and I seriously hope the daughter's condition will hopefully alleviate at the very least as time goes on...

armsoftheocean avatar
Franc Esca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a single incident, I'm sure the problems didn't start overnight. I'm so sick of old toxic people running over everyone just because they're old. Glad he kicked them out.

nfrlprdpr avatar
Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put vise grips on the grandfathers tested and squeeze them in front of his wife, keep them on for hours, when he cries out in pain tell him That this is exactly how your daughter feels when she’s suffering and if the wife times in to be empathetic tell her to suck it up

manuelamartins avatar
Manuela Martins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As sad as it may sound, sometimes children have to throw their parents out of the house if they cannot keep their inappropriate comments to themselves.

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The OP is NTA. You don't talk to your grandchildren in that manner. Being artistic doesn't make a guy less manly. I mean, look at art history. There's Picasso, Van Gogh, Da Vinci. A girl doing sports doesn't make her less of a lady. I think that it's cool that the daughter is into sports in spite of her health condition. On the endometriosis, this girl can't just suck it up and get over it and I think that it's very sweet that her brother takes care of her during that time.

vdevriese avatar
Val
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can someone explain to me what all those abbreviations mean? AITA, TA, PO, ... Is AITA "Am I The Asshole"'?

saragregory0508 avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

AITA - Am I The Asshole; NTA - Not The Asshole; YTA - You're The Asshole; ESH - Everyone Sucks Here; NAH - No Assholes Here. Have you maybe transposed PO for OP? OP - Original Post(er).

Load More Replies...
mhklevgard avatar
Melvin Dragvelk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This started out being wrong. Your parents moved into a house with two teenagers who were constantly running to different activities where they were exposed to many, many people, and you and your parents thought this would keep them safer from COVID then if they stayed at their own place and isolated?

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any parenting site would recommend that until the children are 21, they are to be their parent, not the pal. So his folks are not 'minors' but the teenagers are. He needs to support the children at all levels, to the best of his abilities. His own parents are on their own or keep their opinions to themselves. A warning to change may have been nice, but not necessary.

tararay13 avatar
Tara Raay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is how men turn in to toxic asshole or rapists. Let men decide who they are and what they like. You have to be an idiot to believe that men are weak for caring. It’s what most women want in men….

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can understand. I have a couple of pious aunts who were always talking to my mum about my illnesses/disabilities as though they knew better than us & my doctors, always saying that I should fight through the pain & be more sociable. I also have PCOS/endometriosis, so I understand the frustration. My mum did more or less the same thing & told them where to stick it, adding that they weren’t being very Christian towards their own niece. They still haven’t changed & we aren’t about to bow to their superiority complex! 🤷‍♀️

evelyn_haskins_7 avatar
Evelyn Haskins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My house, MY rules. and anyone who comes here needs to respect that. I am surprised that you don't ask them to leave mush sooner.

lynnnoyes avatar
elfin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Protecting your kids comes first. That done, do what you can to mitigate your parents' problems. They are old and they are at risk.

ashleytt avatar
Bee Diaz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your children should come first, you did the right thing.

mariedeheryng avatar
Marie deHeryng
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You, Sir, are a wonderful parent of two amazing and wonderful children. I am so happy that you put your children first as they should always be your priority! Your parents, unfortunately, have never learned to parent well and it is therefore amazing that you turned out to be such a fabulous parent yourself! Congratulations on raising two lovely children who care for one another and you. Keep your family close and do not let others hurt you, including your own unfortunate terrible parents who have little compassion for you or their own grandchildren.💖💖💖

katboxjanitor avatar
katboxjanitor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Papa Bear, you did well by standing up for your children who have clearly felt loved and respected by you! It is hard that your parents have been difficult throughout your life - but I am thrilled and proud that you gave them boundaries and stood by your kids.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a difference in offering a critique and being critical. Being critical brings stress which can be detrimental to one's mental health and happiness. The grandparents were critical and were warned not to be. They didn't listen. Throw them out and let them criticize life, that's what they do best and they'll be the only ones who will listen

ae_3 avatar
あんぱんまん
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the boy, marcus.... he is a real man.... men dont need to get abs or dont need to be buff nd fight others to prove manliness.... the best men are those who respect women and everyone, try avoid fights and all that...

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. He might allow them moving in again, if they change this behaviour. You cannot change one's beliefs, at least not instantly, but, for example, the granddad could "man up", here translating into "shut up" when things don't match his opinion on masculinity. He's by no means in order of setting up rules at that home, just because he's Dad's Dad. They can suck it up and accept the things, rules, their son's family as is - or move out finally and for good. Offering that, in case they aren't that toxic in general, would be my approach. Or leaving them outside and everything as is, for knowing which one, I don't know enough of this.

maryprime-lawrence avatar
Mary Prime-Lawrence
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had similar situation with my mother in law. She is toxic af. She has played favorites since my kids were little. The kids noticed. The favored kids feel horrible that they are treated kindly and other sibling is crapped on. We've all tried to run interference and be a barrier between grandma and the kid she dislikes but refuse to do it any longer. Pandemic or no, I told my spouse that his mother needed to leave or the kids and I were leaving. 16 months later, she is finally gone.

cstrickland75 avatar
cheryl strickland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talk to your children. See how they feel and what they want. They were the targets. Let it be their call. NTAH

deannababy61 avatar
Deanna Crichley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's disturbing to me how they're leaving messages trying to guilt you. It seems like they've been abusive for a long time.

alicewiedrick avatar
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Terrible. I wonder how they would react if they were my grandparents and I came out to them as bi. Yea, I would be dead before i finish the sentence. NTA

prava-hanuma avatar
Unaffected
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some parents need to learn that just being a parent doesn't automatically give you a respect.You need to earn it just like anyone else.Giving someone life doesn't give you right to be mean.Good on you dad, you're awesome!

ijustchangedmyname avatar
I Just Changed My Name
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Respect to the dad for having the kids back immediately. You're an awesome dad and NTA.

rachaelsaxon avatar
Rachael Saxon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA! Your parents are belittling their own grandchildren and that is awful. Have you tried to explain the magnitude of their actions to them?

isabellagalluzzo19 avatar
Bella, Your Kitty-Loving Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% NTA. Some grandparents your kids have. If I were you I’d keep my kids away from those abusing assholes.

tandawson avatar
Binta Tan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good for him..!! His parents should have been more supportive of their grandkids. I don't blame the OP at all and fair play that he put his children 1st..!! Well done Dad

iblowsheep avatar
iblowsheep
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

unfortunately, there are far too many similar examples out there, and those who just accept it as the way it is.

benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Umm you let yourself be manipulated into letting them sponge off you and insult the humans you are responsible for even once in your own home???!!! Do you not have a spine and balls?! End your relationship and severe all contact immediately and get yourself into an assertiveness course stat!!

kathrynhatfield avatar
KatHat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but he missed a great opportunity to model conflict resolution to his kids. Not everything in life can be solved this way and his kids need to see how to have a conversation about a difficult topic. He could have sat down with his parents - the kids should have been present too - and laid out exactly what the problems were. I think it would have been powerful to give them one chance to change their behavior after the conversation but if he'd decided not to that would be reasonable too. But the kids missed the chance to hear their father defend them to his parents, explain the problems, and to give them a chance to listen and change. That's a skill badly needed and how will the kids learn it if he doesn't show them?

larisa_1 avatar
Lara Mig
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Conflict resolution doesn't mean sticking around to be abused, and it especially doesn't mean leaving your kids around abusers. They can "listen and change" somewhere else.

Load More Replies...
mark-mckenzie_1 avatar
anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems like the type of thing that he could have been spoken to them about without kicking them out but he's right to look out for the well being of his kids. It's hard to say without having met the parents but If they absolutely will not shut their mouths then he did what he had to do.

onemessylady avatar
Aunt Messy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They are adults with all of their marbles in place, and they are not homeless. This man grew up with these people abusing him and he will not permit them to abuse his kids. This is not complicated.

Load More Replies...
shells74shells74 avatar
Shells74 Shells74
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grandparents are awesome parents are wusses, thats why kids are like they are today.

huntertsf avatar
Unamused Raccoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, let's change who's in the receiving end to give you a better perspective on this, because apparently you don't give a s**t about your kids. If your parents did nothing but verbally harass and insult your spouse in front of you, would you just sit there like a coward and do nothing about it?

Load More Replies...
kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA but not very good at communicating either. Imo, instead of just letting his Dad run his mouth, he should have given a clear warnign earlier.

login0telefon avatar
Lilith the Demon Panda
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

since the "grandfather" is so much into traditional roles you should have asked him, before kicking his ass out, what kind of useless pussy bitch is he that he married a woman who is older than him

e-jimenez01 avatar
Cuervo
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Agreed. The grandparents should have told the kids to be weak and to not act appropriately. Wait that doesn't sound right...

e-jimenez01 avatar
Cuervo
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I agree with the father. The grandparents should have told the kids to be weak and to be a victim. and to not to act appropriately. Because grandparents know nothing because they have no experience in life. Wait that's not true. Never mind.

sindustrydesign avatar
Penny Kemper
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Why couldn't you just help them by getting things they needed so they didn't have to go out? That's all I'd do. Living with others is hard anyway, let alone your parents as an adult.

Popular on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda