First-Time Mom Catches Babysitter Napping On Duty On A Hidden Camera, People Aren’t Sure Who’s In The Wrong
For many new parents, leaving their little bundle of joy with a stranger can be a stressful and confusing experience. But since parenting is already a hard enough job, hiring a babysitter has to happen sometime, right? So when Danielle Mitchell, a first-time mom, wanted to head out on a date with her husband, she felt quite anxious about trusting someone else to care for her 10-month-old son.
While having cameras installed in her house should have alleviated some of her worries, that was not the case. This TikTok creator explained how she caught her babysitter sleeping on the couch while on the job, leaving many of her followers with a lot to mull over. At the beginning of the viral video that amassed over 1.8 million views, Danielle asked the viewers if she was “overreacting.”
Unsure of whether her feelings were valid, she turned to the internet to ask if it is “normal” for a sitter to fall asleep while they’re watching kids. Her story ignited several debates in the comment section with people weighing in on the situation and sharing mixed opinions about her reaction. Scroll down to read how the whole story unfolded and be sure to tell us what you think about it right below!
Earlier this month, a first-time mom Danielle Mitchell turned to her followers on TikTok to ask if she was “overreacting”
Image credits: danimariemit
In the viral clip, she explained that her babysitter fell asleep while watching her child and was unsure whether it was “normal”
Image credits: Alex Bodini (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GKT Electrical (not the actual photo)
You can watch the full video, which got over 1.8 million views, right over here
@danimariemit First time parent problems, I know, but seriously, is this okay? #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #babysitter #firsttimeparent #amioverreacting #isthisok ♬ original sound – Danielle Mitchell
There are no strict rules to prevent babysitters from sleeping while the children they are caring for are taking a nap as well. However, Matthew Taylor, founder of the Kidsit website dedicated to sharing useful information and valuable babysitting resources, explained that doing so is often frowned upon.
“Sleeping on the job is usually not recommended,” he explained. “You need to be awake and ready to tend to any needs of the children you’re watching. But there are a few exceptions, like if you’re babysitting overnight.”
As Dr. Sarah Mundy, clinical psychologist, author of Parenting Through Stories, and mom of three pointed out, our ideas about babysitters will always vary. “As do our ideas about many things!”
We humans shape opinions about the world based on our own experiences and the expectations we have developed from them. So when it comes to wondering whether it’s considered “normal” for nannies to doze off while looking after children, Dr. Mundy doesn’t think there can be a blanket recommendation. However, she noted that it’s important for parents to be clear with the sitter about what they expect.
“I absolutely understand why this parent was concerned, particularly as the babysitter didn’t wake up immediately on the parents’ return, but I also understand why the babysitter felt it was OK to sleep given the baby was also sleeping,” the psychologist told Bored Panda. “The difficulty might have come from different expectations so it’s important to be clear with each other before going out and leaving the babysitter to what they might think is normal (which the parent may not).”
Later on, Danielle explained that the home cameras are out in the open and everyone knows they are being watched
@danimariemit Reply to @queenofzilch ♬ BARELY BREATHING – Grant Averill
In another follow-up video, she answered a comment asking if she also sleeps while watching her baby
@danimariemit Reply to @1wasbetterthan2 ♬ original sound Danielle Mitchell
Some TikTokers labeled this whole ordeal as definitely a first-time parent overreaction, but Dr. Mundy told us she wouldn’t say that Danielle went too far. “When we are new to something, particularly something as big as parenting, of course, we may be more anxious,” she said, adding that she certainly was more nervous with her first child than the other two.
“This was the first time the parents had left the baby (except for with parents) and it’s not surprising that they were worried and had particular expectations of the babysitter. It’s hard to relinquish control when we have a little one who we have looked after for so long — and who hasn’t fallen asleep before we went out.”
Of course, uncomfortable and debatable situations like this one could be avoided if people would be crystal clear about what they expect from the person watching after their kids. “The most important thing is to have an open conversation with the babysitter before you leave about your expectations. You need to trust your baby with them and feel that they can offer the care you expect, which in this case included staying awake until the parents returned,” Dr. Mundy told us.
“In relation to our own feelings, we are super-protective of our young children, consistently thinking about them even when we are trying to have a nice time out with our partners,” she said, adding that this is completely normal. “It will take a while to feel comfortable leaving them. It’s always important to reflect on our feelings, to think about how helpful they are and whether we need to cope with them in a different way. But if you have trust in the person looking after your child, you are much more likely to feel less stressed yourself.”
“The parents had clearly thought through what they would be comfortable with — 3 hours out whilst the baby was asleep with an awake babysitter! It is just important that they had communicated this with the babysitter,” Dr. Mundy concluded.
People had mixed opinions about Danielle’s reaction, here’s what they had to say
Could she, like get anymore, like, likes in? That was, like really, like irritating to, like read.
Got to 8, came here to say the same thing. Noping out of the rest of this. Like, for reals.
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LOL I noticed that, too. I overuse 'like', too but that was excessive for me.
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"... Secondly, I'm allowed to fall asleep because I'm not getting paid, but I am paying the babysitter...". - Momzilla. She rocked him for fifteen minutes before you left. She's good, give her a raise.
She might be overreacting, but I'd hardly call her a Mozilla in this case. She's a nervous FTM concerned about her baby's safety. That's normal.
Load More Replies... In my opinion, it makes sense that if the baby is asleep, there's nothing wrong with a little cat nap, as long as you are SURE that you will be ready if needed. Like having the monitor up. Or putting the dog inside. Or responding to texts. But if, as a parent, anything strikes you as "off", trust your gut. You don't need to justify it.
My opinion as a babysitter: it's a 10 month old and they are asleep, correct? Then they will make a huge fuss when they wake up. I think she probably should have turned on the moniter, especially if the living room was far away from the baby's room, and she should probably have let in the dog first. But I sleep on the job all the time if my charges are asleep and I'm tired. I sleep lightly and any text or call by the parents will wake me. The mom here sounds like a first time mom, so any experienced babysitter will know that they are really scared about leaving their baby with someone else. Therefore, I don't think she should've slept on only a 3 hour job. First time moms get really jumpy.
This babysitter didn't wake up to the texts and calls, and not even to the door being unlocked and opened. It's not so much about the babysitter sleeping. The issue is the babysitter not waking up to noises.
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ehhhhh as a babysitter myself, i would get in big trouble if i fell asleep on the job. i mean like if they weren't coming back until super late, then that would be fine but it's only 9:30!! also that poor dog
If the babysitter put the baby to sleep, doors are locked, the house has been tidied up, baby monitor on, I don't see any problem if she, accidentally falls asleep.
Easy, don't go out! If you hire a sitter and tell her cameras, we go out but we watch your every step, we also don't want you to sleep, and here's a list of acceptable activities while child is asleep (as he is alive and sleeping isn't enough).if the sitter agrees to those terms PAY them, if not find someone who will otherwise stop going out. Wait till your kids go to school, imagine the horror nobody will give him 24/7 attention in a group environment with rules. In future when your child falls asleep in class the teacher will come to you saying how inappropriate it is as it's his working hours, do better as a mum. I babysat mon-fri 3-4 hours in the evenings, after school so if the child was fed and napping I either napped or studied. I was 19. Sorry children are exhausting, and that's why I don't have them. When you have them you make sure YOU are responsible, let the sitter know it is not acceptable to have no monitor on, but sleeping while baby sleeps is human
If the children are in grammar school, the parents would expect the sitter to immediately wake up if either woke up. Nightmares needed to be calmed and searches for monsters completed.
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Kind of creepy to watch your babysitter through cameras isn't it? Of course people are going to fall asleep sometimes. Hell parents sleep instead of watching their kids all the time because if the kid really needed something they would cry, and very few people can sleep through a baby's crying.
Agree. Should have turned the monitor on but I have no problem with her sleeping.
Load More Replies... The only times I really fell asleep was if it was an all-nighter or half a nighter, and I was given the okay to sleep before the parents got home. In my opinion, a babysitter doesn't have the parental intuitional bond with the children to wake up to the baby or sense when something isn't right. So, I understand how uncomfortable this mom would be to have a babysitter passed out sleeping to the point that even coming through the door wasn't enough to spring her up. Plus, if there's pets that the babysitter is also expected to tend to that should be clearly communicated and taken in to consideration by the parents. Also, what people are not thinking of, parents are responsible for who they leave their child with. Parents have had babies apprehended by CPS due to babysitters being neglectful or careless. So, please excuse the fact that parents are just doing their parental duty of ensuring the safety of their little ones.
You "don't know what to think"? really? So you HAVE to turn to TikTok to get the opinions of people you wouldn't know if they walked right up to you? really?!??! It's YOUR child. YOUR house. YOUR gut feelings. Don't rise to hysteria or start catastrophizing. Don't turn your life into entertainment fodder for complete strangers. Get off TikTok. Go talk to other mothers you know.
If she took a shot of vodka for every time you said "Like" it is likely that she was passed out drunk and would not wake up.
DONT FALL ASLEEP TILL THE DOGS INSIDE AND GET THE MONITOR. jeez its not like she didnt do anything wrong the dog was outside not okay its not a question of is sleeping okay its is leaving the dog outside okay and no its not i wouldnt recommend that child anyone else can sleep if the sleepings good but the dog cant hes locked out of his house Not cool
I understood that family left the dog out, and it wasn't the sitter. But on wider note when I babysat my responsibilities were to help children, keep them entertained and safe, according to parents request. I did not handle pets, cleaning or other chores. This situation could have been handled better if proper interview process was done prior letting a stranger to your house. Communication what you expect and pay for.
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I've had a few jobs in my life but I never had one that let me sleep on their time. Not one.
Oh, Mama, you're not an AH. You're a FTM who's concerned about the you're baby's safety. That's normal. You're right that it's different between you and the babysitter, so I'm going to ask you something different: would you feel the same if your parents fell asleep while babysitting?
It looks like it wouldn't bother a lot of folks here, but a sitter sleeping during a three hour job would bother me. The only sitter jobs I ever slept during were overnight ones, and you have to make sure before you give yourself rest that you are adequately able to know and respond if your charge/s need anything. This sitter left a pet outside, didn't have the monitor on, and didn't respond to a parent's text. They would not be asked to work for me again.
I wouldn't be happy with this, mainly because they were only gone for a couple of hours, she didn't have the baby monitor on and she left the dog outside. I've babysat quite a bit before and I would put TV on or something to keep me engaged and awake. You're not there to test the sofa's comfort, you're there to watch someone else's most precious person who is not capable of protecting themselves. It's a big deal IMHO
Sorry. Perhaps you hired the sitter to get some well needed rest. Your child was left unattended. Care more for your child than you do for people leaving worthless comments. Except mine, of course. Glad your child and dog are OK. Glad you are as well. Regret and hindsight are life killers.
Ma'am, IMO, it's pretty simple. Your child, your house, your money, your decisions, your rules. No other opinion matters. Did you hire the sitter to watch out for your child, your dog, etc? Perhaps you hired you
Way over reaction. Baby was safely asleep in his crib. Babysitter would have heard him if he cried. It might have taken a few minutes. but so what? Unless you live in a 20,000 square foot house, it doesn't matter if the monitor was on or not. Relax mom, it will be ok!
I babysat as a teenager and not only was I allowed to sleep after the kids were asleep, but one couple left a pillow and blanket on the couch. They had 5 kids, one a baby.
Simple… bring the baby with you or not go out at all yet til your parents offer to bbsit. You decided to be a mother then enjoy every bit of it.
I think mom is overreacting. The baby was asleep and the babysitter would've woke up when there would be any crying, just like the parent do when they are sleeping. If I was the babysitter, they needed to look for someone else to look after the baby next time, because being spied at, even if the camera is in plain sight, is just not something I would be comfortable with. If my husband and I are having someone over who watches our three kids when we are on a date, I wouldn't mind how they spend their time while the kids are asleep. Watching a movie, doing homework, sleeping, all fine with me. It doesn't mean because they are getting paid that they need to waste time doing something they would benefit from. As long as my children are safe and being looked after in case of emergency, it's fine with me.
It's fine for the babysitter to sleep if the baby is sleeping. It's also fine for the mother to ask that the baby monitor is left on and to expect the babysitter to respond to texts because parents often like to check in. I think the mother handled this situation calmly and rationally by asking for input before going off on the babysitter. Every working relationship needs a few tweaks in the beginning. I hope they can work it out. I remember how much I loved my babysitters when I was a little kid, and they all did something that annoyed my mom, but that's just the nature of teenagers.
Jesus....this is not a big deal. Your child not in danger. If it bothers you so much then just stay home.
If the kid is asleep and safely tucked away in the cot, I don't see a problem. I won't judge this lady but I think I know the type...
The Mom is over reacting. I mean... I get it - I was a nervous wreck first time I left my kid with a sitter but honestly.... every parent sleeps when the baby sleeps. They are in their beds. They are safe. They are sleeping. There was no risk to the child and no reason why the sitter could not also sleep.
That is a natural, primal instinct for parents to have, and it's very strong. Even if nothing was wrong the parents would not be enjoying the rest of their date if they felt like they needed to just go home.
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So, she went at 6-6:30, parents lef, baby went to sleep before 7. She is not tired from the baby. Then she went to sleep in another room without baby monitor. And you think this is normal because she is tired? If i pay for babysitting for a few hours, i don't pay her to sleep. She is there for 3-4 hours, not all day/all night. She knew she would work tonight, so if she is tired, she could've slept during the day.
Uhhhhhhhhh what about the DOG being left unsupervised outside? You people ever hear of owls, hawks, coyotes, etc?????????????? FFS
Could she, like get anymore, like, likes in? That was, like really, like irritating to, like read.
Got to 8, came here to say the same thing. Noping out of the rest of this. Like, for reals.
Load More Replies... LOL I noticed that, too. I overuse 'like', too but that was excessive for me.
Load More Replies... "... Secondly, I'm allowed to fall asleep because I'm not getting paid, but I am paying the babysitter...". - Momzilla. She rocked him for fifteen minutes before you left. She's good, give her a raise.
She might be overreacting, but I'd hardly call her a Mozilla in this case. She's a nervous FTM concerned about her baby's safety. That's normal.
Load More Replies... In my opinion, it makes sense that if the baby is asleep, there's nothing wrong with a little cat nap, as long as you are SURE that you will be ready if needed. Like having the monitor up. Or putting the dog inside. Or responding to texts. But if, as a parent, anything strikes you as "off", trust your gut. You don't need to justify it.
My opinion as a babysitter: it's a 10 month old and they are asleep, correct? Then they will make a huge fuss when they wake up. I think she probably should have turned on the moniter, especially if the living room was far away from the baby's room, and she should probably have let in the dog first. But I sleep on the job all the time if my charges are asleep and I'm tired. I sleep lightly and any text or call by the parents will wake me. The mom here sounds like a first time mom, so any experienced babysitter will know that they are really scared about leaving their baby with someone else. Therefore, I don't think she should've slept on only a 3 hour job. First time moms get really jumpy.
This babysitter didn't wake up to the texts and calls, and not even to the door being unlocked and opened. It's not so much about the babysitter sleeping. The issue is the babysitter not waking up to noises.
Load More Replies... ehhhhh as a babysitter myself, i would get in big trouble if i fell asleep on the job. i mean like if they weren't coming back until super late, then that would be fine but it's only 9:30!! also that poor dog
If the babysitter put the baby to sleep, doors are locked, the house has been tidied up, baby monitor on, I don't see any problem if she, accidentally falls asleep.
Easy, don't go out! If you hire a sitter and tell her cameras, we go out but we watch your every step, we also don't want you to sleep, and here's a list of acceptable activities while child is asleep (as he is alive and sleeping isn't enough).if the sitter agrees to those terms PAY them, if not find someone who will otherwise stop going out. Wait till your kids go to school, imagine the horror nobody will give him 24/7 attention in a group environment with rules. In future when your child falls asleep in class the teacher will come to you saying how inappropriate it is as it's his working hours, do better as a mum. I babysat mon-fri 3-4 hours in the evenings, after school so if the child was fed and napping I either napped or studied. I was 19. Sorry children are exhausting, and that's why I don't have them. When you have them you make sure YOU are responsible, let the sitter know it is not acceptable to have no monitor on, but sleeping while baby sleeps is human
If the children are in grammar school, the parents would expect the sitter to immediately wake up if either woke up. Nightmares needed to be calmed and searches for monsters completed.
Load More Replies... Kind of creepy to watch your babysitter through cameras isn't it? Of course people are going to fall asleep sometimes. Hell parents sleep instead of watching their kids all the time because if the kid really needed something they would cry, and very few people can sleep through a baby's crying.
Agree. Should have turned the monitor on but I have no problem with her sleeping.
Load More Replies... The only times I really fell asleep was if it was an all-nighter or half a nighter, and I was given the okay to sleep before the parents got home. In my opinion, a babysitter doesn't have the parental intuitional bond with the children to wake up to the baby or sense when something isn't right. So, I understand how uncomfortable this mom would be to have a babysitter passed out sleeping to the point that even coming through the door wasn't enough to spring her up. Plus, if there's pets that the babysitter is also expected to tend to that should be clearly communicated and taken in to consideration by the parents. Also, what people are not thinking of, parents are responsible for who they leave their child with. Parents have had babies apprehended by CPS due to babysitters being neglectful or careless. So, please excuse the fact that parents are just doing their parental duty of ensuring the safety of their little ones.
You "don't know what to think"? really? So you HAVE to turn to TikTok to get the opinions of people you wouldn't know if they walked right up to you? really?!??! It's YOUR child. YOUR house. YOUR gut feelings. Don't rise to hysteria or start catastrophizing. Don't turn your life into entertainment fodder for complete strangers. Get off TikTok. Go talk to other mothers you know.
If she took a shot of vodka for every time you said "Like" it is likely that she was passed out drunk and would not wake up.
DONT FALL ASLEEP TILL THE DOGS INSIDE AND GET THE MONITOR. jeez its not like she didnt do anything wrong the dog was outside not okay its not a question of is sleeping okay its is leaving the dog outside okay and no its not i wouldnt recommend that child anyone else can sleep if the sleepings good but the dog cant hes locked out of his house Not cool
I understood that family left the dog out, and it wasn't the sitter. But on wider note when I babysat my responsibilities were to help children, keep them entertained and safe, according to parents request. I did not handle pets, cleaning or other chores. This situation could have been handled better if proper interview process was done prior letting a stranger to your house. Communication what you expect and pay for.
Load More Replies... I've had a few jobs in my life but I never had one that let me sleep on their time. Not one.
Oh, Mama, you're not an AH. You're a FTM who's concerned about the you're baby's safety. That's normal. You're right that it's different between you and the babysitter, so I'm going to ask you something different: would you feel the same if your parents fell asleep while babysitting?
It looks like it wouldn't bother a lot of folks here, but a sitter sleeping during a three hour job would bother me. The only sitter jobs I ever slept during were overnight ones, and you have to make sure before you give yourself rest that you are adequately able to know and respond if your charge/s need anything. This sitter left a pet outside, didn't have the monitor on, and didn't respond to a parent's text. They would not be asked to work for me again.
I wouldn't be happy with this, mainly because they were only gone for a couple of hours, she didn't have the baby monitor on and she left the dog outside. I've babysat quite a bit before and I would put TV on or something to keep me engaged and awake. You're not there to test the sofa's comfort, you're there to watch someone else's most precious person who is not capable of protecting themselves. It's a big deal IMHO
Sorry. Perhaps you hired the sitter to get some well needed rest. Your child was left unattended. Care more for your child than you do for people leaving worthless comments. Except mine, of course. Glad your child and dog are OK. Glad you are as well. Regret and hindsight are life killers.
Ma'am, IMO, it's pretty simple. Your child, your house, your money, your decisions, your rules. No other opinion matters. Did you hire the sitter to watch out for your child, your dog, etc? Perhaps you hired you
Way over reaction. Baby was safely asleep in his crib. Babysitter would have heard him if he cried. It might have taken a few minutes. but so what? Unless you live in a 20,000 square foot house, it doesn't matter if the monitor was on or not. Relax mom, it will be ok!
I babysat as a teenager and not only was I allowed to sleep after the kids were asleep, but one couple left a pillow and blanket on the couch. They had 5 kids, one a baby.
Simple… bring the baby with you or not go out at all yet til your parents offer to bbsit. You decided to be a mother then enjoy every bit of it.
I think mom is overreacting. The baby was asleep and the babysitter would've woke up when there would be any crying, just like the parent do when they are sleeping. If I was the babysitter, they needed to look for someone else to look after the baby next time, because being spied at, even if the camera is in plain sight, is just not something I would be comfortable with. If my husband and I are having someone over who watches our three kids when we are on a date, I wouldn't mind how they spend their time while the kids are asleep. Watching a movie, doing homework, sleeping, all fine with me. It doesn't mean because they are getting paid that they need to waste time doing something they would benefit from. As long as my children are safe and being looked after in case of emergency, it's fine with me.
It's fine for the babysitter to sleep if the baby is sleeping. It's also fine for the mother to ask that the baby monitor is left on and to expect the babysitter to respond to texts because parents often like to check in. I think the mother handled this situation calmly and rationally by asking for input before going off on the babysitter. Every working relationship needs a few tweaks in the beginning. I hope they can work it out. I remember how much I loved my babysitters when I was a little kid, and they all did something that annoyed my mom, but that's just the nature of teenagers.
Jesus....this is not a big deal. Your child not in danger. If it bothers you so much then just stay home.
If the kid is asleep and safely tucked away in the cot, I don't see a problem. I won't judge this lady but I think I know the type...
The Mom is over reacting. I mean... I get it - I was a nervous wreck first time I left my kid with a sitter but honestly.... every parent sleeps when the baby sleeps. They are in their beds. They are safe. They are sleeping. There was no risk to the child and no reason why the sitter could not also sleep.
That is a natural, primal instinct for parents to have, and it's very strong. Even if nothing was wrong the parents would not be enjoying the rest of their date if they felt like they needed to just go home.
Load More Replies... So, she went at 6-6:30, parents lef, baby went to sleep before 7. She is not tired from the baby. Then she went to sleep in another room without baby monitor. And you think this is normal because she is tired? If i pay for babysitting for a few hours, i don't pay her to sleep. She is there for 3-4 hours, not all day/all night. She knew she would work tonight, so if she is tired, she could've slept during the day.
Uhhhhhhhhh what about the DOG being left unsupervised outside? You people ever hear of owls, hawks, coyotes, etc?????????????? FFS
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