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“No One Is Cleaning Their House Every Day. No One Is Having Sex Every Day:” Mom’s Post On Parenting Goes Viral
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“No One Is Cleaning Their House Every Day. No One Is Having Sex Every Day:” Mom’s Post On Parenting Goes Viral

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Being a parent is tough, we all know that. But what makes it even tougher is when you lose sight of yourself and the amazing job that you are doing (literally nurturing a new life into the world), and begin to doubt whether you are really able to keep it all up.

Image credits: itslauramazza

It can be easy to fall into a trap of comparing yourself to others, wondering why everyone else has it so easy while you are struggling to keep your kids happy and healthy, whilst maintaining a fulfilling relationship, a job and a functioning household.

But that seemingly perfectly-balanced mum you follow on Instagram with her always lovely hair and well-behaved, joyful children has her ups and downs too, absolutely everyone does. And anyway, at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks apart from your family. And they adore you!

Australian blogger Laura Mazza has been writing for about 3 years now, starting her blog The Mum on the Run after struggling with postnatal depression with her first child, Luca. She felt alone and confused, and so started writing to connect with other mums who might be going through a similar situation and because quite simply, she enjoys writing!

The blog now has almost 250k followers thanks to her heartfelt and honest posts, where she discusses everything from anxiety to the first poop.

Her latest post went viral for its beautifully positive message. It was written after an online encounter with a woman who was also having struggles with her first child.

“I actually wrote the post because someone had messaged me with something nasty, responding to a post I wrote about depression,” Laura told Bored Panda. “She then apologized after telling me she had a bad day. After talking to her I realized she was a first time mum with depression and was beating herself up so I kinda wrote it for her.”

“She reminded me of those early days and I think so many first time mums, and just mums in general, need to hear that’s it’s ok and that they are doing an amazing job.”

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Image credits: itslauramazza

Laura, who is a social worker, took her masters in psychology with the ultimate goal of helping new mamas to cope with their sudden life changes. It’s fair to say that she does that in many ways! She was surprised by the popularity of this particular post – it was something that came from the heart and on the spur of the moment.

“Sometimes, I just write what flies off the tongue (or the fingers?) and I thought, ‘well if she sees it then that’s all that matters.’ I didn’t expect it to resonate with a lot of mums,” she explained.

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Image credits: itslauramazza

“But for me, it’s nice to have solidarity.”

Image credits: itslauramazza

What do you think? Are you a parent? Did you find your first child to be the hardest to cope with? Or perhaps it came easily to you? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Here’s what people had to say about the heartfelt post

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kjorn avatar
Kjorn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and first, STOP BELIEVING INSTAGRAM S**T! stop pretending! juste keep sure your kids are safe and feed. who cares if your house is a mess?

katiehayes_3 avatar
DrGirlfriend
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

( standing ovation) thank you dear, I struggle with self depreciation daily.

Load More Replies...
nehanim21 avatar
Nea
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents are people too. When we were growing up, both my parents worked to support our quite poor household. I could feel it was very difficult for them to deal with two of us as they had physically demanding jobs. Both used to be cranky and annoyed quite often. I love them for being human in tehir emotions and do not find it a bit crippling for myself that my parents were not the best 'parents'. They did what they could and did not what they could not. Its alright.

ellenwall89 avatar
Crochet lady
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first time my husband went to work and left me alone with my 2 year old and my newborn twins I gave myself a pep talk, decided I could handle it and would be fine. Skip to several hours later and all 3 are crying at the exact same time and I just burst into tears and thought I can't do this, I'm outnumbered! But of course the pity party lasted 30 seconds and I was back to telling myself I would be fine and that someone out there has it way worse than me and of course I was fine...until the first time I took all 3 to the mall by myself but that's another story. Lol. Those were some of the best years and it goes by too fast, they are all in their 20's now and I miss craft time and Legos.

edc_82 avatar
Lola
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here we go again, acting like they are saving the world. No one forced you to have all those kids. Be grateful that you get to stay home with them. So many women out there juggle work and kids.

sb256003 avatar
Stevie B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Even Becky with the good hair" perfect! Stop comparing yourself to others, and do what works for you & yours!

jillvillechildcare avatar
JillVille
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 4 and my youngest turns 16 next week. I don't know how I did it, a lot of it was definitely in a fog. My kids remember the coolest outings I took them on when they were little - I have very little, if any memories of half of these events because I was going through the motions, just making sure they enjoyed themselves. Didn't sit behind a camera to take pics, was involved and gave my everything. I am truly sad that I don't have the same memories my kids do of me being the awesome mom they say I was. But I'm sure glad that's all they remember was the fun stuff and not anything about me crying my eyes out in bed from exhaustion. Guess that's where all my memories went - away with the tears. I ended up with 4 of the best kids I could have ever wanted and I never want them to know how much I struggled, just to remember the fun times.

laana-aladan avatar
Laana
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m so scared of this... sometimes I feel like from all the worries (did I took everything,is everybody safe,etc.) I’m missing all the joy. And being exhausted takes it’s part of not enjoying how I should. Don’t know... you want to give them everything,while taking a lot from yourself. I guess that’s what parenting is all about 😊

Load More Replies...
vashtikrones avatar
Vashti Krones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First off, I'm not a mom, but I've seen just a fraction of what my mom does me and my siblings. There is 6 of us, ages 2 to 18. The older I get, the more I realize that i can be/have been very bratty. But being a mom is all my mom ever wanted, and it makes her so happy. I used to be very firm on NEVER wanting kids. We are the WORST! My mom is not perfect, but watching how much love she puts in and gets out, I might just change my mind.

lclarke avatar
L Clarke
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with the statement that nobody is having sex every day, myself and my husband are and loving it. It's important in any relationship, and certainly not a chore. I adored the newborn baby days, there's something gloriously simple and blissfully contented about having a tiny baby in your care. Enjoy it moms, and keep it in perspective. Caring for kids is easy and fun, or rather it's as easy or as difficult as you make it. Remember these are largely first world problems, stop whining, enjoy your kids and sex, life is short!

miacardenas avatar
Mia Cardenas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women should never pin one vs. the other. Parenting is difficult and we do the best we can with the resources we have available. Such a crazy mix of emotions.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have one child because, when he was diagnosed with autism, we were told the possibility of the next child having autism (possibly a more severe form) was very very good. We decided to focus all our efforts on him. It wasn't easy and, at times, it wasn't pretty. And as much as I think I did a crappy job, I have people coming to me all the time saying he's a wonderful man. The job you do and the job you think you did are two totally different things. You think you're screwing up a little human..others will see you as a powerhouse. So don't go beating yourself up. It's hard enough adulting. Parenting is an art that most people master along the way.

bojo30 avatar
slackjack
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHA?!?!?? "No one is having sex every day"?!? I guess I better slow down......

nodozzer avatar
Julinda Higgins
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zombie mode was my "go to". We had 3 sons in 5 years. During those 5 years, we also lived in 5 different states..8 houses Our first was a preemie who had multiple medical issues (by the time he was 8, he had had 29 surgeries),He's a very clwever handsome, grown up guy with a wife and a very successful career, but those early days were very gloomy when he was a newborn/young child...Basically, you just put one foot in front of the other and do what has to be done..and never ever beat yourself up...My mione has blocked out a LOT of the gruesome stuff and the trivial as well. The boys often remember stuff that I have no recollection of..I guess my brain was dealing with more important stuff those days

bonny04346 avatar
Bonny Saxon
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first was so challenging, she was almost an only. After much deliberation (5 years worth), we decided to try for a second and then surprised three years after that with a third! I didn't want any because my childhood wasn't the best and I was convinced any child of mine would be 'screwed up.' And they are. Delightfully so. They are beautiful, loving, funny people that I can't imagine living without. Some days are to be endured, others are full of joy and jam.

andreacarelesskelk avatar
Andrea Careless
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before I had children, you could eat off my kitchen floor! Well....now you REALLY can!

jimmyrustled avatar
Jimmy Rustled
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my wife and I have sex couple times a week,\..feel sorry for all the guys that get pushed away.....now will wait on excuses on why women do not have sex with hubby..

katiehayes_3 avatar
DrGirlfriend
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do it to myself , my husband don't care if house is messed up , I have an array of health issues, I feel if I don't get house cleaned laundry done food cooked dishes ect, I am a huge bag of s**t I don't let myself rest most days further exasperating my issues... He works and I'm home I force myself to get it all done.... Some days I don't shower or eat much trying to do it all for them... But they don't care it's me something broken in me . My twins are 8 and we haven't had anyone no family no friends we did when they were born but after heart surgery and two Autism spectrum disorder diagnosis it just became us for almost 8 years now.. .. I absolutely feel ashamed if I lay down I shame myself into getting back up and just work through it all... IDK what's wrong with me in that aspect

rosalie-schnauzer avatar
C
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, DrGirlfriend, you're important and wonderful, don't treat yourself that bad. Sounds like you don't love yourself that much :/ Please, rest if you can and do yourself a favor. You are important and you are loved and you're doing a whole lot.

Load More Replies...
deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't get me wrong, being a parent is difficult, but is it really so difficult that you and your spouse high 5 if you get the kids in bed at the same time. My mother had two and she never made it seem like my sister and I were a total burden on her and my dad. They both worked full time jobs and at one point she was going to school and they never complained once. Like someone said: in 20 years, your kids are going to find this article and feel so bad that they put you through all this while raising them. Before you get on social media and complain about the number of kids you have, remember that it was your choice to have them.

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents had 5 of us, both with full time jobs, through a change of regimes, an actual war, change of country, change of currency, actual poverty etc. They managed to bless us with a happy childhood all in all, yes. But did they complain? Can't say they didn't. They're only human and humans complain when they're tired. It's the understanding that steps in here - the understanding that, yes, you're a burden, but a burden that they love unconditionally. Sometimes I would feel self-guilty for this, but I always knew life was not rainbows and flowers, and a strong basis is built up on mutual love and solidarity.

Load More Replies...
jeffrequier_1 avatar
Jeff Requier
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not that hard, and also not that hard to have sex when ever you want. ive got 5 full time an 7 part time. 4 have different minor learning disabilities

mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeesh. They talk about motherhood like they’re prepping to be in jail or dead. No thank you. I’d rather have sex in a clean house every day than the horror show of that picture of a baby with a stained face 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮 So nasty. I don’t get why anyone thinks that’s cute.

kjorn avatar
Kjorn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and first, STOP BELIEVING INSTAGRAM S**T! stop pretending! juste keep sure your kids are safe and feed. who cares if your house is a mess?

katiehayes_3 avatar
DrGirlfriend
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

( standing ovation) thank you dear, I struggle with self depreciation daily.

Load More Replies...
nehanim21 avatar
Nea
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents are people too. When we were growing up, both my parents worked to support our quite poor household. I could feel it was very difficult for them to deal with two of us as they had physically demanding jobs. Both used to be cranky and annoyed quite often. I love them for being human in tehir emotions and do not find it a bit crippling for myself that my parents were not the best 'parents'. They did what they could and did not what they could not. Its alright.

ellenwall89 avatar
Crochet lady
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first time my husband went to work and left me alone with my 2 year old and my newborn twins I gave myself a pep talk, decided I could handle it and would be fine. Skip to several hours later and all 3 are crying at the exact same time and I just burst into tears and thought I can't do this, I'm outnumbered! But of course the pity party lasted 30 seconds and I was back to telling myself I would be fine and that someone out there has it way worse than me and of course I was fine...until the first time I took all 3 to the mall by myself but that's another story. Lol. Those were some of the best years and it goes by too fast, they are all in their 20's now and I miss craft time and Legos.

edc_82 avatar
Lola
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here we go again, acting like they are saving the world. No one forced you to have all those kids. Be grateful that you get to stay home with them. So many women out there juggle work and kids.

sb256003 avatar
Stevie B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Even Becky with the good hair" perfect! Stop comparing yourself to others, and do what works for you & yours!

jillvillechildcare avatar
JillVille
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 4 and my youngest turns 16 next week. I don't know how I did it, a lot of it was definitely in a fog. My kids remember the coolest outings I took them on when they were little - I have very little, if any memories of half of these events because I was going through the motions, just making sure they enjoyed themselves. Didn't sit behind a camera to take pics, was involved and gave my everything. I am truly sad that I don't have the same memories my kids do of me being the awesome mom they say I was. But I'm sure glad that's all they remember was the fun stuff and not anything about me crying my eyes out in bed from exhaustion. Guess that's where all my memories went - away with the tears. I ended up with 4 of the best kids I could have ever wanted and I never want them to know how much I struggled, just to remember the fun times.

laana-aladan avatar
Laana
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m so scared of this... sometimes I feel like from all the worries (did I took everything,is everybody safe,etc.) I’m missing all the joy. And being exhausted takes it’s part of not enjoying how I should. Don’t know... you want to give them everything,while taking a lot from yourself. I guess that’s what parenting is all about 😊

Load More Replies...
vashtikrones avatar
Vashti Krones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First off, I'm not a mom, but I've seen just a fraction of what my mom does me and my siblings. There is 6 of us, ages 2 to 18. The older I get, the more I realize that i can be/have been very bratty. But being a mom is all my mom ever wanted, and it makes her so happy. I used to be very firm on NEVER wanting kids. We are the WORST! My mom is not perfect, but watching how much love she puts in and gets out, I might just change my mind.

lclarke avatar
L Clarke
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with the statement that nobody is having sex every day, myself and my husband are and loving it. It's important in any relationship, and certainly not a chore. I adored the newborn baby days, there's something gloriously simple and blissfully contented about having a tiny baby in your care. Enjoy it moms, and keep it in perspective. Caring for kids is easy and fun, or rather it's as easy or as difficult as you make it. Remember these are largely first world problems, stop whining, enjoy your kids and sex, life is short!

miacardenas avatar
Mia Cardenas
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women should never pin one vs. the other. Parenting is difficult and we do the best we can with the resources we have available. Such a crazy mix of emotions.

emory_ce avatar
Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have one child because, when he was diagnosed with autism, we were told the possibility of the next child having autism (possibly a more severe form) was very very good. We decided to focus all our efforts on him. It wasn't easy and, at times, it wasn't pretty. And as much as I think I did a crappy job, I have people coming to me all the time saying he's a wonderful man. The job you do and the job you think you did are two totally different things. You think you're screwing up a little human..others will see you as a powerhouse. So don't go beating yourself up. It's hard enough adulting. Parenting is an art that most people master along the way.

bojo30 avatar
slackjack
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHA?!?!?? "No one is having sex every day"?!? I guess I better slow down......

nodozzer avatar
Julinda Higgins
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zombie mode was my "go to". We had 3 sons in 5 years. During those 5 years, we also lived in 5 different states..8 houses Our first was a preemie who had multiple medical issues (by the time he was 8, he had had 29 surgeries),He's a very clwever handsome, grown up guy with a wife and a very successful career, but those early days were very gloomy when he was a newborn/young child...Basically, you just put one foot in front of the other and do what has to be done..and never ever beat yourself up...My mione has blocked out a LOT of the gruesome stuff and the trivial as well. The boys often remember stuff that I have no recollection of..I guess my brain was dealing with more important stuff those days

bonny04346 avatar
Bonny Saxon
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My first was so challenging, she was almost an only. After much deliberation (5 years worth), we decided to try for a second and then surprised three years after that with a third! I didn't want any because my childhood wasn't the best and I was convinced any child of mine would be 'screwed up.' And they are. Delightfully so. They are beautiful, loving, funny people that I can't imagine living without. Some days are to be endured, others are full of joy and jam.

andreacarelesskelk avatar
Andrea Careless
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Before I had children, you could eat off my kitchen floor! Well....now you REALLY can!

jimmyrustled avatar
Jimmy Rustled
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my wife and I have sex couple times a week,\..feel sorry for all the guys that get pushed away.....now will wait on excuses on why women do not have sex with hubby..

katiehayes_3 avatar
DrGirlfriend
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do it to myself , my husband don't care if house is messed up , I have an array of health issues, I feel if I don't get house cleaned laundry done food cooked dishes ect, I am a huge bag of s**t I don't let myself rest most days further exasperating my issues... He works and I'm home I force myself to get it all done.... Some days I don't shower or eat much trying to do it all for them... But they don't care it's me something broken in me . My twins are 8 and we haven't had anyone no family no friends we did when they were born but after heart surgery and two Autism spectrum disorder diagnosis it just became us for almost 8 years now.. .. I absolutely feel ashamed if I lay down I shame myself into getting back up and just work through it all... IDK what's wrong with me in that aspect

rosalie-schnauzer avatar
C
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, DrGirlfriend, you're important and wonderful, don't treat yourself that bad. Sounds like you don't love yourself that much :/ Please, rest if you can and do yourself a favor. You are important and you are loved and you're doing a whole lot.

Load More Replies...
deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't get me wrong, being a parent is difficult, but is it really so difficult that you and your spouse high 5 if you get the kids in bed at the same time. My mother had two and she never made it seem like my sister and I were a total burden on her and my dad. They both worked full time jobs and at one point she was going to school and they never complained once. Like someone said: in 20 years, your kids are going to find this article and feel so bad that they put you through all this while raising them. Before you get on social media and complain about the number of kids you have, remember that it was your choice to have them.

dariab_1 avatar
Daria B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents had 5 of us, both with full time jobs, through a change of regimes, an actual war, change of country, change of currency, actual poverty etc. They managed to bless us with a happy childhood all in all, yes. But did they complain? Can't say they didn't. They're only human and humans complain when they're tired. It's the understanding that steps in here - the understanding that, yes, you're a burden, but a burden that they love unconditionally. Sometimes I would feel self-guilty for this, but I always knew life was not rainbows and flowers, and a strong basis is built up on mutual love and solidarity.

Load More Replies...
jeffrequier_1 avatar
Jeff Requier
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not that hard, and also not that hard to have sex when ever you want. ive got 5 full time an 7 part time. 4 have different minor learning disabilities

mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeesh. They talk about motherhood like they’re prepping to be in jail or dead. No thank you. I’d rather have sex in a clean house every day than the horror show of that picture of a baby with a stained face 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮 So nasty. I don’t get why anyone thinks that’s cute.

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