Woman’s Last Text Exchange With Friend Before He Took His Own Life Is A Painful Reminder To Take Care Of Our Friends
Every 40 seconds someone commits suicide, and despite multiple high-profile suicide deaths in the past few years, there is still a stigma and lack of education when it comes to conversations about mental health and suicide. This is problematic when it’s time to ask for help or for people to know how to reach out to those suffering from mental problems. One Twitter user, a graduate of Howard University, shared her own experience with this health epidemic, by posting a series of heartbreaking final text messages between her and her friend Shawn before he ultimately took his own life.
Image credits: quagmeijer_
The messages began with her friend asking her about her evening plans to which she responded she was preparing for a big presentation. Shawn then said something that made the girl worry: “I actually needed a friend. I’m kinda in a low place right now,” to which she then asked, “What do you need?” The pair arranged to meet up that evening but when she got to him it was too late.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people in the U.S ages 15-24 years old and males are four times more likely to take their own lives than females. While sadly the poster was unable to get to her friend in time she did the right thing. The best way to prevent suicides is to know the risk factors, such as depression, and warning signs that include: Excessive sadness and moodiness, sudden calmness, withdrawal, recent trauma, changes in personality, and threatening suicide outright.
Someone in the comments had a similar story to share
In addition to the photos of these last text messages, the OP later wrote: “My friend committed suicide on Tuesday. He told me he was in a low place and needed to talk. By the time I got to his house, he was gone. Please let this be a reminder to check on your friends. You never know when it will be too late. Rest In Peace, Shawn.”
But others’ wanted to put out a reminder that mental health is more complex than ‘checking on your friends’
Suicidal thoughts are not a mental illness but a potential consequence of other disorders, namely depression. According to WHO “mental health disorders (particularly depression and substance abuse) are associated with more than 90% of all cases of suicide.”
Depression affects 322 million people worldwide and can manifest in sad, lonely, and scared feelings. People exhibiting signs of this disorder should talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist for a proper diagnosis and treatment.
If you or a loved one are having thoughts of self-harm, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.
I had two suicide attempts. I was able to get help. I saved my life and when i look back it was the worst thing that had ever happened. A depressed mind works differently, your solutions to problems are very different from a healthy mind. I wish i hadn't laid my hands on myself, but i did, and all i can do is advocate for mental health. I've experienced acute physical pain, chronic pain but the ultimate worst is mental pain. I had to make it stop and i really thought death would solve it. It doesn't. Only medical and professional help can solve it and inner strength ( and everyone has incredible inner strength)!
Well done good for you for seeking professional help and being strong. Your life is yours again,. Keep it up Thanks for the good advice and motivation.
Load More Replies...I'm an ex suicide interventionist. Suicide is a medical emergency. If you have even an inkling doubt about someone, ask very directly "I need to know if you're ok? I need to know if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself? Do you have a plan or method in mind?" People who are not intent never mind being asked. People who have intent are, in my experience, honest and feel relieved someone directly asked. If the person has access to means of ending their life and have any kind of plan, tell them you care. Ask where they are. You don't need permission to call emergency services at this point and direct them to the person immediately. We used to trace phone numbers through our state police. Suicide is a temporary idea brought on by a myriad of circumstances and extremely difficult to process emotions and instability of mood. The important thing is to act. If it is yourself feeling suicidal, do not feel ashamed. Call emergency services immediately. They will help and you can survive.
the other day I was about to kill myself as I Really couldn't take how much I suffer. I sent a message to my best friend who lives several countries away from me, I have no family nearby and I'm pretty much alone. she usually gets really tough when you talk about emotional stuff, thinks its being dramatic. she got how bad I was and she called me and I wouldn't answer and she wouldn't stop, eventually I answered and she talked to me in a way she never had before. In the moment she saved my life. those thoughts aren't gone, and people cannot fly to come to my rescue. someone committing suicide is a way to end their suffering and there is a point where nothing much could help. I did therapy, acupuncture (which actually helped more than therapy), and many other things, but this darkness just never really goes away, nobody's fault!
Stay strong! your life is meaningful and important whether you realize it or not at any particular moment. Sending you good thoughts
Load More Replies...Idiotic headline to a sad story. I new someone who was WATCHED by his friends around the clock. He hung himself the moment someone went out to get som ciggies. What needs to be said is that it is ok for men to feel low, to fail, to NOT support a woman and the whole family, to not always be the top dog. And that men are entitled to help and support.
Just kind of dropping in. Many people have their opinions about friends checking in. I thought I'd give my view. You may take it as you wish. I very nearly succeeded in ending my life 2.5 years ago. The reasons why people commit suicide vary in detail, but overall, it's one thing: pain. Absolute mental and emotional anguish, exactly the same response to physical pain. People train, mostly military, to endure physical pain, such as torture. A person getting therapy is quite similar; learning to endure the pain. All pain is in the brain, there is no deep difference of whether the pain is physical or mental/emotional, after a long period of time, you just want it to stop. I have physically endured 24-36 hours continuously of intense pain and I would rather endure those times again more than having to feel as I did 2.5 years ago. At least loosing my bladder from pain in an emergency room gourney makes people understand more than telling them you don't feel a reason to live.
I got a very similar text from my friend five days ago... I learned that a few hours later he took his own life at only 14.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you okay? Do you have someone to talk to?
Load More Replies...My best friend since i was 5 hung himself in Nov 2016, he was 41, he had attempted it before but always called me and i was there for him anytime and everytime. The successful attempt, i had no phone call, i think he knew that was the time. He had no children, he clearly didn't want to live anymore, he was intent this time,i just hope he is at peace now. I found him hanging from his attic hatch, i had a weird feeling that day before i kicked his door down. Alcohol is one of the worst things for depressive people, we found many empty Jack Daniels bottles in his flat, i knew he was drinking too much but when someone wants to do it they will regardless of all the good intentions people around them have. I love him so much and i wish i could bring him back, RIP Greg, i love you dude. I wish you had rang me man, i miss you everyday buddy I still get reminded of things and think "have to call Greg about that....oh"
I once called a suicide hotline and not only did the guy rudely put me on hold, when he came back he was so heartless I felt even worse.
I don't talk to anyone about my thoughts of suicide. As soon as I would, they would see me as something I am not. They would treat me differently - treat me as a symptom rather than a person. It may be that is why people who ARE suicidal (not just thinking about it, as I am) don't reach out. The judgment, real or imagined, only worsens the feelings of worthlessness.
I felt like this, called a friend to say I was coming over. On the way I drove head on into a tree. Sometimes the pain is just too much, and sometimes there is NOTHING anyone can do.
My daughter's classmate (15 y.o) jumped off 20 story building on Jan 16th. The biggest issue was to talk to my daughter cause she was shocked and disturbed like everybody else in their class and group. Their generation uses to make fun of suicidal issues, it is normal to speak about ending life as a joke. But once it became real the fun goes away and they confronted harsh reality. I could not find any info of how to support those who witnessed\experienced friends suicides.
I hope the class(es) healed from the pain, and knee to enjoy the world they were living in while they still can, and not take their own life sometimes its sad to think that THIS is what our world has come to...
Load More Replies...This post hurts. I lost a friend the same way after we had an argument, over what i dont remember. I tried to leave cos i was uncomfortable and he went for his gun. The "pop" sound will haunt me forever. I regret so many things.
Well...we're all strangers here but it might help to vent to us. We're mostly kind people willing to listen and help in any way we can. Stay strong. <3
Load More Replies...I'm pretty sure, he already has that suicidal thoughts . Even when he told or show them that how he been doing *depression, he still thinks that he couldn't be help. I do feel the same way. I've been depressed since teenage. I used keep all those feelings, numbness and loneliness by myself. I never really tell anyone. Now, I can't keep it anymore. I started to ask for help, but I got more people to call me as attention seeker. J know some friends offered to talk with me. But, I never believed that will help. I feel deadly inside. I feel suicidal. I feel guilty for my existence. Everyday, I'm afraid of what is going to happen on the next day. A friend told me, girls always depressed because of jealousy. I know I'm not. It's never been into the dictionary of my depression. They said talk with your family members. Well, I tried , yet my mom told me to stop being like that. And I always hate to heard the frustration that my father always said about me.
How about my siblings? Well, he never see how much I've been suffered. He only prioritize his girlfriend. I'm so so tired of handling all my problems alone. I'm so sick of seeing the frustration from my parents. I want to run away. However, I got more bash from people around me. I prayed to God everyday to take away my breath. I.. I.. I don't know how to explain my situation. I'm suicidal.
Load More Replies...This is a sad story, but this story also implies that it wouldn't have happened if she would have gone earlier... and I think that gives the wrong message. I say this because I've been there and done an attempt, and obviously failed. I kept it a secret even from my partner, who was livid (and rightfully so). I believe that if we could talk about mental illnesses as if it was a broken leg, or having diabetes, there would be less people trying to end their life. Because it would be easier to talk about what's wrong with you mentally and help would be easier to give and given sooner. And I don't believe for a second that this would be helpfull for everyone with metal health issues, but it would help a good portion of us, people with mental health issues. And now the good news, I'm still here and doing reasonbly well... today ;) Tomorrow is a new day with new chances...
Unfortunately, it has been my very saddest experience to have lost several friends to suicide. The very worst part of it: There was NO WARNING. They ALL seemed to be happy enough then suddenly.. BOOM. Message comes through from out the blue that they took their lives.
This is not fair. We cannot save our friends / family. We can make it worse, or ease it a bit. But to guilt trip past / future people grieved by suicide is just not fair. ( My sister killed herself, and I have had many attempts. - yes I am in therapy ) Her death is NOT my fault.
I have felt like that on accassion and people do not take you seriously. Or they may not know how to react. It is very important to seek professional help Asap.I know what the trigger was but I still needed help!
The sad truth is people do not care at all. I talk to people but they pretend not to hear, because If you're sad then it messes with their perfect life. You're just a burden.
Something like 60% of trans people are suicidal/commit suicide. There's about 1/8 - 1/12 (can't find specific statistics) chance of trans women being killed. LGBTQ+ youth are 4x more likely to kill themselves over cis/het people. YES! PLEASE SPREAD SUICIDE AWARENESS! But also let us remember the lives that were taken simply because of who we are. #LestWeForget #WontBeErased
I’ve had depression my entire life. So for 55 years I’ve been living in the crises of it, watching it objectively when it’s in remission and learning about it as an RN as well as a patient. The best thing I’ve ever done is learning about myself and the exacerbations objectivily when I’m not in a crisis because in the midst of a crisis a person is everything but rational. It’s extremely important to develop a plan when you’re rational and trust your rational self when you are in the middle of a full-blown depressive crisis. One of the first things I learned was, this WILL pass. I FEEL absolutely hopeless and helpless but I am not. I FEEL like it’s never going to end but it will. I need to keep my head down and ride this out and not make any major decisions and follow my crisis plan. This last December my sister-in-law shot herself in the head. Her daughter did CPR on her as she gurgled and gasped and blood and brain matter flowed out onto the bathroom floor. Don’t do it.
Wish my love who's miles away can overcome his problems. He said that he loves me so he doesn't want to drag me down, I think that's why he doesn't really talk much about his problem again and honestly I do feel sad everytime knowing him suffering with his problems. I tried to not showing that I'm being sad though because it will only made him feel bad for making me sad. But still, he know that I'm being sad. I told him try to train his own mind by meditate and learn the way their own concioussness/mind works. Don't focus too much on the negative things instead learn to switch it to some positive thought. Everytime we alert that our mind in negative state, switch it with another thought. Need consistent effort to do it so it can become a new tendency/behavior. We ourself can choose to stay with the negativity, positivity or being neutral. It just that we have to work on it. If our mind have the tendency to focus on the negative/painfull things, we will drown more and more deeply on the
we will drown more and more deeply on these negativity. That's why I told him learn to know their own mind and try to calm it down by learning meditation or any other way that can help the mind become calm so then he can direct the mind to the way he want. I know it's not easy, especially the 'moment/second' when ones heavily desperate and feeling down. Knew that happiness and painfull thought are all just come and go each moment/seconds/minutes on everyone life, everyone are the same. It just 'the amount' of the negativity/positivity is different in each person (higher/lower, more/lesser) on each moment depend on the tendency of their own mind. Try to look at our mind behavior as 'the third party' and know their behavior. Accept it, and slowly switch those negative thought into some positive thought. Change the tendency/behavior of that 'mind'. It's a tendency/behavior and it can be change. It just took times. No ones can stay happy on the whole day if you really try to observe at this so called 'mind',
Load More Replies...My nephew was 15 years old, his step father had committed suicide the week before. Told his Mom he was going to take his dog for a walk, went to the end of the block, put a gun in his mouth, killed himself. Not a word to anyone, no fighting, no problems in school, his step Dad was his hero, he never even talked about his death, he just ended his life. You never know what will set someone off, this boy was in pain and no knew it.
All these comments here, people who tried to end their life and failed, which is (I think) is a good thing, but are still struggling to find a way to live with less mental pain. I hope so much you'll find your path... I've (after another suicide attempt) trying to find a way up. All the people who've tried to help, to listen, to just be there, and is was all in vain... please don't feel quilty. There are times when no amount of help, listening and just being there will help, I know that for me that has been true all of the times. I didn't want help anymore, I just wanted to stop the pain (in a very definitive way). And I hope that all the people who are now no longer suffering have found the peace that they were looking for (and there are still times, many, that I envy them). And for those who're left behind, I hope that you'll find a way to deal with this (and I know this sentence is so in adequate)... everyone; keep in conatact with eachother, talk, find help.
I take this personal, I was always depressed It started when my aunt and papa died within a year. 13 I started having serious respiratory issues. Constantly being hospitalized, missing out on a lot life's milestones. At 17 one of my best friends died in a freak accident on her way to school. Seeing her in a coffin and looking at her little brother roughly same age as mine it finally got through to me that killing myself would hurt hurt family more than anything . Twelve years later I'm still in pain every day but I can't be selfish but I refuse to put my family first I don't live for me I live for them.
I’m sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. Have you talked to a therapist?
Load More Replies...As someone living with schizophrenia in the recovery stage, I can say that depression was my dominant negative symptom, and one day about nine months after the hallucinations and other symptoms started to manifest themselves, I took a walk to the banks of the nearest river with the intent of throwing myself in it. But you have to be awfully desperate to kill yourself by drowning, and while looking at the fast-flowing current, I got cold feet. Also, I was already a practicing Christian at the time and I felt God talking to my heart (I didn't hear a voice from heaven talking to me) encouraging me to stick through the pain, and that things would improve. Well, they did but it took a long time. I was 28 then. I walked back to my apartment. Eventually I did see a psychiatrist who treated me for depression at first. I was only diagnosed with schizophrenia ten years after the onset of my first episode.
why do you even bother? Unless you've ever got one yourself, people will disregard depression anyway
She did what she could.She shelved her needs for his ,but STILL people are saying she should have "dropped everything".It sounds to me like he planned it so she would find his body,which is not uncommon and frankly,is pretty cruel. As for the comment by Mark Hardin,what a nasty person he is.How about addressing his issues ,like an adult himself,via councilling/medication .Takes responsibility for his issues and not put it all onto his wife! Get help, get a divorce (I'm sure you would both be happier) ,and maybe you would realize that horrible pressure you wife isunder,trying to hold her family together,while he only cares about himself..
Ok. And what was that all about? She will have nightmares about that night, because of one sick, who just ask for audience for his death. Clearly decided do it long while ago. Two suicides in my live tought me, that no friend can help. They need doctor. Better two. I knew one, who called mother of his baby to come. She was on her way really fast, and he killed himself for her to see him dying... You can't cure cancer. Not even flu by you presence. Why do you think, you can cure sick mind?
I think about committing suicide everyday recently. I don't think anyone reading can help. Most people wouldn't care once they know my situation. Maybe if I suicide they would care a little bit
I know how it feels. The pain sucks. But a lot of people DO care. Please find help. The answer for me was the right antidepressent. Some brains just need that extra help from medicine. Nothing wrong with it. To me it slowely felt like the heavy fog lifted and I started enyoing life agian. It's much better than trying to end your life! It's worth it. Sending love to you.
Load More Replies...We can all benefit from a bit more respect for and value in human life - ours, our neighbors, the people we disagree with, everyone's live has value - and we treat so many of them as insignificant - often times our own is the one we assign the least value.
What does “check on” your friends mean anyway? Texting, talking, seeing them in person? Asking them a specific question? Anyone who has been depressed can tell you that friendship won’t save you from what’s really going on.
It is a very serious problem. Seek medical help asap. It is not a
It is not a phase or something tha will go away soon. It is a medical condition and the right people can help. Sometimes,family and friends are not enough. I know. I witnessed it happen. Seek professional help.
Load More Replies...People do not take it seriously. I was so depressed and decided to reach out to my Mother. her responce " You'r always f*****g depressed" I s**t up in humiliation immidiatly. A couple years go by and I reach out to her again and she says she does not want to hear it. I keep it to myself now but the thought of suiside keeps coming and going
My pastor took his life back in March 2020. We were all in shock. Nobody saw this coming. Especially because a month prior, he was in church speaking and declaring victory over prostate cancer (that had spread to his lung). I thought that maybe he did it because he wasn't in his right mind (I actually think the cancer had started spreading to his brain. And I had heard that he suffered from mental illness in his past). We all have our theories for why he may have done it. Of course we'll never know the truth. I feel terrible for his family; especially his 21 yr old son who found him. Grace and peace to you all; be blessed.
Used 2 want 2 live so I can finally have a good family. Now I have perfect family but I still have depression. Now I want to die but cant.
We shouldn't place too heavy a burden of guilt on friends and family for someone's decision to kill themselves. They will feel it anyway. My mom who was a social worker and worked in a psychiatric institution says that she was told by psychiatrist she worked with to watch out when depressed patients seem to be at peace. That means they've made up their minds and are just looking for the right moment to do it.
I kinda hate the people saying "check up on your friends". This person did just that. She was heading over to spend some time with a friend who seemed down. If someone has made up their mind, checking up on them won't help. Yes, it's important not to neglect your friends, but just because you're there for someone does not mean you'll be able to save them. Saying things like that will just cause the friend's of the deceased to feel guilty and hate themselves for not "paying closer attention" when there might not have been any cues to pay attention to.
Umm Mark Hardin sounds like he is in a not so healthy relationship....
The one thing that life has shown me, is that if someone is truly wanting to die, there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. In the end, the only thing we can be responsible for, is ourselves, and our actions. We can do everything possible, be standing in front of them, and still not affect their choices. The repercussions for those left behind are awful. The pain that one must feel, to believe that death is the only solution, is worse again. My empathy is with everyone involved. <3
Take care of your family and friends and if you notice that they look lately weird, negative, sad... confront them. Most people does not talk about depression becaualse they think that most people will dismiss it as bing whiny, needing atention or 'just regular sadness'. Its important to take this illness seriously instead of walkung away because they make you uncomfortable.
I had two suicide attempts. I was able to get help. I saved my life and when i look back it was the worst thing that had ever happened. A depressed mind works differently, your solutions to problems are very different from a healthy mind. I wish i hadn't laid my hands on myself, but i did, and all i can do is advocate for mental health. I've experienced acute physical pain, chronic pain but the ultimate worst is mental pain. I had to make it stop and i really thought death would solve it. It doesn't. Only medical and professional help can solve it and inner strength ( and everyone has incredible inner strength)!
Well done good for you for seeking professional help and being strong. Your life is yours again,. Keep it up Thanks for the good advice and motivation.
Load More Replies...I'm an ex suicide interventionist. Suicide is a medical emergency. If you have even an inkling doubt about someone, ask very directly "I need to know if you're ok? I need to know if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself? Do you have a plan or method in mind?" People who are not intent never mind being asked. People who have intent are, in my experience, honest and feel relieved someone directly asked. If the person has access to means of ending their life and have any kind of plan, tell them you care. Ask where they are. You don't need permission to call emergency services at this point and direct them to the person immediately. We used to trace phone numbers through our state police. Suicide is a temporary idea brought on by a myriad of circumstances and extremely difficult to process emotions and instability of mood. The important thing is to act. If it is yourself feeling suicidal, do not feel ashamed. Call emergency services immediately. They will help and you can survive.
the other day I was about to kill myself as I Really couldn't take how much I suffer. I sent a message to my best friend who lives several countries away from me, I have no family nearby and I'm pretty much alone. she usually gets really tough when you talk about emotional stuff, thinks its being dramatic. she got how bad I was and she called me and I wouldn't answer and she wouldn't stop, eventually I answered and she talked to me in a way she never had before. In the moment she saved my life. those thoughts aren't gone, and people cannot fly to come to my rescue. someone committing suicide is a way to end their suffering and there is a point where nothing much could help. I did therapy, acupuncture (which actually helped more than therapy), and many other things, but this darkness just never really goes away, nobody's fault!
Stay strong! your life is meaningful and important whether you realize it or not at any particular moment. Sending you good thoughts
Load More Replies...Idiotic headline to a sad story. I new someone who was WATCHED by his friends around the clock. He hung himself the moment someone went out to get som ciggies. What needs to be said is that it is ok for men to feel low, to fail, to NOT support a woman and the whole family, to not always be the top dog. And that men are entitled to help and support.
Just kind of dropping in. Many people have their opinions about friends checking in. I thought I'd give my view. You may take it as you wish. I very nearly succeeded in ending my life 2.5 years ago. The reasons why people commit suicide vary in detail, but overall, it's one thing: pain. Absolute mental and emotional anguish, exactly the same response to physical pain. People train, mostly military, to endure physical pain, such as torture. A person getting therapy is quite similar; learning to endure the pain. All pain is in the brain, there is no deep difference of whether the pain is physical or mental/emotional, after a long period of time, you just want it to stop. I have physically endured 24-36 hours continuously of intense pain and I would rather endure those times again more than having to feel as I did 2.5 years ago. At least loosing my bladder from pain in an emergency room gourney makes people understand more than telling them you don't feel a reason to live.
I got a very similar text from my friend five days ago... I learned that a few hours later he took his own life at only 14.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you okay? Do you have someone to talk to?
Load More Replies...My best friend since i was 5 hung himself in Nov 2016, he was 41, he had attempted it before but always called me and i was there for him anytime and everytime. The successful attempt, i had no phone call, i think he knew that was the time. He had no children, he clearly didn't want to live anymore, he was intent this time,i just hope he is at peace now. I found him hanging from his attic hatch, i had a weird feeling that day before i kicked his door down. Alcohol is one of the worst things for depressive people, we found many empty Jack Daniels bottles in his flat, i knew he was drinking too much but when someone wants to do it they will regardless of all the good intentions people around them have. I love him so much and i wish i could bring him back, RIP Greg, i love you dude. I wish you had rang me man, i miss you everyday buddy I still get reminded of things and think "have to call Greg about that....oh"
I once called a suicide hotline and not only did the guy rudely put me on hold, when he came back he was so heartless I felt even worse.
I don't talk to anyone about my thoughts of suicide. As soon as I would, they would see me as something I am not. They would treat me differently - treat me as a symptom rather than a person. It may be that is why people who ARE suicidal (not just thinking about it, as I am) don't reach out. The judgment, real or imagined, only worsens the feelings of worthlessness.
I felt like this, called a friend to say I was coming over. On the way I drove head on into a tree. Sometimes the pain is just too much, and sometimes there is NOTHING anyone can do.
My daughter's classmate (15 y.o) jumped off 20 story building on Jan 16th. The biggest issue was to talk to my daughter cause she was shocked and disturbed like everybody else in their class and group. Their generation uses to make fun of suicidal issues, it is normal to speak about ending life as a joke. But once it became real the fun goes away and they confronted harsh reality. I could not find any info of how to support those who witnessed\experienced friends suicides.
I hope the class(es) healed from the pain, and knee to enjoy the world they were living in while they still can, and not take their own life sometimes its sad to think that THIS is what our world has come to...
Load More Replies...This post hurts. I lost a friend the same way after we had an argument, over what i dont remember. I tried to leave cos i was uncomfortable and he went for his gun. The "pop" sound will haunt me forever. I regret so many things.
Well...we're all strangers here but it might help to vent to us. We're mostly kind people willing to listen and help in any way we can. Stay strong. <3
Load More Replies...I'm pretty sure, he already has that suicidal thoughts . Even when he told or show them that how he been doing *depression, he still thinks that he couldn't be help. I do feel the same way. I've been depressed since teenage. I used keep all those feelings, numbness and loneliness by myself. I never really tell anyone. Now, I can't keep it anymore. I started to ask for help, but I got more people to call me as attention seeker. J know some friends offered to talk with me. But, I never believed that will help. I feel deadly inside. I feel suicidal. I feel guilty for my existence. Everyday, I'm afraid of what is going to happen on the next day. A friend told me, girls always depressed because of jealousy. I know I'm not. It's never been into the dictionary of my depression. They said talk with your family members. Well, I tried , yet my mom told me to stop being like that. And I always hate to heard the frustration that my father always said about me.
How about my siblings? Well, he never see how much I've been suffered. He only prioritize his girlfriend. I'm so so tired of handling all my problems alone. I'm so sick of seeing the frustration from my parents. I want to run away. However, I got more bash from people around me. I prayed to God everyday to take away my breath. I.. I.. I don't know how to explain my situation. I'm suicidal.
Load More Replies...This is a sad story, but this story also implies that it wouldn't have happened if she would have gone earlier... and I think that gives the wrong message. I say this because I've been there and done an attempt, and obviously failed. I kept it a secret even from my partner, who was livid (and rightfully so). I believe that if we could talk about mental illnesses as if it was a broken leg, or having diabetes, there would be less people trying to end their life. Because it would be easier to talk about what's wrong with you mentally and help would be easier to give and given sooner. And I don't believe for a second that this would be helpfull for everyone with metal health issues, but it would help a good portion of us, people with mental health issues. And now the good news, I'm still here and doing reasonbly well... today ;) Tomorrow is a new day with new chances...
Unfortunately, it has been my very saddest experience to have lost several friends to suicide. The very worst part of it: There was NO WARNING. They ALL seemed to be happy enough then suddenly.. BOOM. Message comes through from out the blue that they took their lives.
This is not fair. We cannot save our friends / family. We can make it worse, or ease it a bit. But to guilt trip past / future people grieved by suicide is just not fair. ( My sister killed herself, and I have had many attempts. - yes I am in therapy ) Her death is NOT my fault.
I have felt like that on accassion and people do not take you seriously. Or they may not know how to react. It is very important to seek professional help Asap.I know what the trigger was but I still needed help!
The sad truth is people do not care at all. I talk to people but they pretend not to hear, because If you're sad then it messes with their perfect life. You're just a burden.
Something like 60% of trans people are suicidal/commit suicide. There's about 1/8 - 1/12 (can't find specific statistics) chance of trans women being killed. LGBTQ+ youth are 4x more likely to kill themselves over cis/het people. YES! PLEASE SPREAD SUICIDE AWARENESS! But also let us remember the lives that were taken simply because of who we are. #LestWeForget #WontBeErased
I’ve had depression my entire life. So for 55 years I’ve been living in the crises of it, watching it objectively when it’s in remission and learning about it as an RN as well as a patient. The best thing I’ve ever done is learning about myself and the exacerbations objectivily when I’m not in a crisis because in the midst of a crisis a person is everything but rational. It’s extremely important to develop a plan when you’re rational and trust your rational self when you are in the middle of a full-blown depressive crisis. One of the first things I learned was, this WILL pass. I FEEL absolutely hopeless and helpless but I am not. I FEEL like it’s never going to end but it will. I need to keep my head down and ride this out and not make any major decisions and follow my crisis plan. This last December my sister-in-law shot herself in the head. Her daughter did CPR on her as she gurgled and gasped and blood and brain matter flowed out onto the bathroom floor. Don’t do it.
Wish my love who's miles away can overcome his problems. He said that he loves me so he doesn't want to drag me down, I think that's why he doesn't really talk much about his problem again and honestly I do feel sad everytime knowing him suffering with his problems. I tried to not showing that I'm being sad though because it will only made him feel bad for making me sad. But still, he know that I'm being sad. I told him try to train his own mind by meditate and learn the way their own concioussness/mind works. Don't focus too much on the negative things instead learn to switch it to some positive thought. Everytime we alert that our mind in negative state, switch it with another thought. Need consistent effort to do it so it can become a new tendency/behavior. We ourself can choose to stay with the negativity, positivity or being neutral. It just that we have to work on it. If our mind have the tendency to focus on the negative/painfull things, we will drown more and more deeply on the
we will drown more and more deeply on these negativity. That's why I told him learn to know their own mind and try to calm it down by learning meditation or any other way that can help the mind become calm so then he can direct the mind to the way he want. I know it's not easy, especially the 'moment/second' when ones heavily desperate and feeling down. Knew that happiness and painfull thought are all just come and go each moment/seconds/minutes on everyone life, everyone are the same. It just 'the amount' of the negativity/positivity is different in each person (higher/lower, more/lesser) on each moment depend on the tendency of their own mind. Try to look at our mind behavior as 'the third party' and know their behavior. Accept it, and slowly switch those negative thought into some positive thought. Change the tendency/behavior of that 'mind'. It's a tendency/behavior and it can be change. It just took times. No ones can stay happy on the whole day if you really try to observe at this so called 'mind',
Load More Replies...My nephew was 15 years old, his step father had committed suicide the week before. Told his Mom he was going to take his dog for a walk, went to the end of the block, put a gun in his mouth, killed himself. Not a word to anyone, no fighting, no problems in school, his step Dad was his hero, he never even talked about his death, he just ended his life. You never know what will set someone off, this boy was in pain and no knew it.
All these comments here, people who tried to end their life and failed, which is (I think) is a good thing, but are still struggling to find a way to live with less mental pain. I hope so much you'll find your path... I've (after another suicide attempt) trying to find a way up. All the people who've tried to help, to listen, to just be there, and is was all in vain... please don't feel quilty. There are times when no amount of help, listening and just being there will help, I know that for me that has been true all of the times. I didn't want help anymore, I just wanted to stop the pain (in a very definitive way). And I hope that all the people who are now no longer suffering have found the peace that they were looking for (and there are still times, many, that I envy them). And for those who're left behind, I hope that you'll find a way to deal with this (and I know this sentence is so in adequate)... everyone; keep in conatact with eachother, talk, find help.
I take this personal, I was always depressed It started when my aunt and papa died within a year. 13 I started having serious respiratory issues. Constantly being hospitalized, missing out on a lot life's milestones. At 17 one of my best friends died in a freak accident on her way to school. Seeing her in a coffin and looking at her little brother roughly same age as mine it finally got through to me that killing myself would hurt hurt family more than anything . Twelve years later I'm still in pain every day but I can't be selfish but I refuse to put my family first I don't live for me I live for them.
I’m sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. Have you talked to a therapist?
Load More Replies...As someone living with schizophrenia in the recovery stage, I can say that depression was my dominant negative symptom, and one day about nine months after the hallucinations and other symptoms started to manifest themselves, I took a walk to the banks of the nearest river with the intent of throwing myself in it. But you have to be awfully desperate to kill yourself by drowning, and while looking at the fast-flowing current, I got cold feet. Also, I was already a practicing Christian at the time and I felt God talking to my heart (I didn't hear a voice from heaven talking to me) encouraging me to stick through the pain, and that things would improve. Well, they did but it took a long time. I was 28 then. I walked back to my apartment. Eventually I did see a psychiatrist who treated me for depression at first. I was only diagnosed with schizophrenia ten years after the onset of my first episode.
why do you even bother? Unless you've ever got one yourself, people will disregard depression anyway
She did what she could.She shelved her needs for his ,but STILL people are saying she should have "dropped everything".It sounds to me like he planned it so she would find his body,which is not uncommon and frankly,is pretty cruel. As for the comment by Mark Hardin,what a nasty person he is.How about addressing his issues ,like an adult himself,via councilling/medication .Takes responsibility for his issues and not put it all onto his wife! Get help, get a divorce (I'm sure you would both be happier) ,and maybe you would realize that horrible pressure you wife isunder,trying to hold her family together,while he only cares about himself..
Ok. And what was that all about? She will have nightmares about that night, because of one sick, who just ask for audience for his death. Clearly decided do it long while ago. Two suicides in my live tought me, that no friend can help. They need doctor. Better two. I knew one, who called mother of his baby to come. She was on her way really fast, and he killed himself for her to see him dying... You can't cure cancer. Not even flu by you presence. Why do you think, you can cure sick mind?
I think about committing suicide everyday recently. I don't think anyone reading can help. Most people wouldn't care once they know my situation. Maybe if I suicide they would care a little bit
I know how it feels. The pain sucks. But a lot of people DO care. Please find help. The answer for me was the right antidepressent. Some brains just need that extra help from medicine. Nothing wrong with it. To me it slowely felt like the heavy fog lifted and I started enyoing life agian. It's much better than trying to end your life! It's worth it. Sending love to you.
Load More Replies...We can all benefit from a bit more respect for and value in human life - ours, our neighbors, the people we disagree with, everyone's live has value - and we treat so many of them as insignificant - often times our own is the one we assign the least value.
What does “check on” your friends mean anyway? Texting, talking, seeing them in person? Asking them a specific question? Anyone who has been depressed can tell you that friendship won’t save you from what’s really going on.
It is a very serious problem. Seek medical help asap. It is not a
It is not a phase or something tha will go away soon. It is a medical condition and the right people can help. Sometimes,family and friends are not enough. I know. I witnessed it happen. Seek professional help.
Load More Replies...People do not take it seriously. I was so depressed and decided to reach out to my Mother. her responce " You'r always f*****g depressed" I s**t up in humiliation immidiatly. A couple years go by and I reach out to her again and she says she does not want to hear it. I keep it to myself now but the thought of suiside keeps coming and going
My pastor took his life back in March 2020. We were all in shock. Nobody saw this coming. Especially because a month prior, he was in church speaking and declaring victory over prostate cancer (that had spread to his lung). I thought that maybe he did it because he wasn't in his right mind (I actually think the cancer had started spreading to his brain. And I had heard that he suffered from mental illness in his past). We all have our theories for why he may have done it. Of course we'll never know the truth. I feel terrible for his family; especially his 21 yr old son who found him. Grace and peace to you all; be blessed.
Used 2 want 2 live so I can finally have a good family. Now I have perfect family but I still have depression. Now I want to die but cant.
We shouldn't place too heavy a burden of guilt on friends and family for someone's decision to kill themselves. They will feel it anyway. My mom who was a social worker and worked in a psychiatric institution says that she was told by psychiatrist she worked with to watch out when depressed patients seem to be at peace. That means they've made up their minds and are just looking for the right moment to do it.
I kinda hate the people saying "check up on your friends". This person did just that. She was heading over to spend some time with a friend who seemed down. If someone has made up their mind, checking up on them won't help. Yes, it's important not to neglect your friends, but just because you're there for someone does not mean you'll be able to save them. Saying things like that will just cause the friend's of the deceased to feel guilty and hate themselves for not "paying closer attention" when there might not have been any cues to pay attention to.
Umm Mark Hardin sounds like he is in a not so healthy relationship....
The one thing that life has shown me, is that if someone is truly wanting to die, there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. In the end, the only thing we can be responsible for, is ourselves, and our actions. We can do everything possible, be standing in front of them, and still not affect their choices. The repercussions for those left behind are awful. The pain that one must feel, to believe that death is the only solution, is worse again. My empathy is with everyone involved. <3
Take care of your family and friends and if you notice that they look lately weird, negative, sad... confront them. Most people does not talk about depression becaualse they think that most people will dismiss it as bing whiny, needing atention or 'just regular sadness'. Its important to take this illness seriously instead of walkung away because they make you uncomfortable.
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